Chapter Text
The problem is that Satoru himself can't act like the kiss never happened.
He doesn't show up to their training with Haibara the next day and avoids Suguru like the plague for the rest of the weekend. Afraid of his reaction, of course, but even more of wanting to do it again. Suguru's lips were warm and soft, and it's all he can think about in every waking moment and even a couple of dreams.
On the other hand, Suguru seems to be taking Satoru's request seriously. He ignores the weird mood and Satoru's crazy behavior like a pro throughout the week.
Instead of feeling relieved, though, Satoru worries even more. Suguru doesn't seem angry about what happened, and that's great, but how can he be so cool about it?
Maybe it didn't mean anything to him after all, and Satoru is fussing over nothing. OR he absolutely hated it; they'll never get to hang out again, and that's the reason he's playing it cool.
Either way, it's driving Satoru crazy, and he can't deal with that and be the strongest Jujutsu Sorcerer at the same time. He forcefully puts the memory of that one kiss far back in his mind, compartmentalizing his feelings to reclaim the version of himself that everyone's familiar with.
It's almost like old times when they're away on missions, just the two of them. They rely on each other, trust each other, joke, care for each other like nothing's changed. Back at school, though, they are more than happy to use Shoko as a buffer. They avoid being alone together, which significantly disrupts her routine, and Satoru's jokes and pranks — especially at Haibara's expense — get meaner by the second.
He'd always been a little sharp and acted a little arrogant, but now he was just plain rude sometimes, and it was getting on everyone's nerves. Something was obviously wrong; everyone could sense it, but no one dared talk about it. Shoko had a good guess, but if Satoru himself ignored the problem, she wouldn't stick her nose into other people's business.
Until the end of the week, when she wakes up in the middle of the night with said business casually lounging by her side.
“Gojo, what the fuck?” she scrambles to put some distance between them and nearly falls off the bed.
“Relax.” Satoru rolls his eyes, legs crossed at the ankles and his back leaning against the headboard. “It's just me.”
“How did you get in my room?” Shoko asks, glowering.
“I picked the lock.” He explains it like it's the most normal thing in the world. “Listen, I need advice.”
“At…” she glances at the clock, “3:30 a.m?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“Because I'm losing my mind.” Satoru announces in a deadpan tone.
“Uh...” she vaguely gestures around. “Yeah, clearly.”
He looks eerily calm for someone supposedly losing it, but Shoko knows him well.
“Okay,” she sighs, wiggling around to get comfortable on the mattress, “Tell me what's going on, so I can go back to sleep.”
Satoru covers his face with his hands before speaking, his voice muffled between his fingers.
“I kissed him.”
He doesn't even have to say the name for Shoko's eyes to widen. She knew Gojo's weird behavior the past week had something to do with his little crush on Geto, but her guess was wrong after all. He was adamant about not letting Suguru know, that last time they talked, so she thought Satoru was just being jealous and repressed.
“You kissed him?” Satoru nods several times. “Where?”
“In… the kitchen?” he informs, a little uncertain.
She takes a deep breath, resisting the urge to smack him.
“Just… Tell me what happened.”
“Okay, alright!” Satoru lies down on his side to look at her, “It was a few days back… Six days and twenty-two hours ago, to be specific. We skipped dinner, so we wanted to get snacks later and went together to the kitchen. I don't know exactly how it happened,” he stops to think, “I guess I said something stupid as usual, and he laughed as usual, and you know how his laugh sounds, right? It's soo…” he gets a dreamy look and Shoko quite literally growls, so he stops and shakes his head to focus “Anyways, I kept thinking about that thing you said, you know? About making a move and all, then he laughed and something — I don't know, SOMETHING came over me, and I gay-kissed him!!!”
They stare at each other for a moment, then Shoko shrugs.
“Well, congrats?”
“NO, Shoko, what are you talking about? I fucked up, and he'll hate me forever!”
“What makes you think that?”
“He's not really talking to me.” Satoru sulks.
“That's because you're being a weirdo.” Shoko rolls her eyes. “We're all hating on you; haven't you noticed it?”
“No.”
“Of course, you wouldn't.” she crosses her arms before her chest and sighs. “Okay, here's the advice you woke me up at shitfuck o'clock for: go talk to him. Alright? Tell him how you feel. Who knows, maybe you'll be surprised.”
------
The next day, Satoru bangs on Suguru's door as soon as he wakes up.
Shoko was right. The damage had already been done. The only thing he could do now was talk to Suguru about it, clear the air, and maybe save their friendship.
Easy-peasy.
“Hm?” Suguru opens the door wearing sweats and a white tee, his hair down. “Satoru? Everything alright?”
“Hey! Great day, isn't it? Wanna hang out?” he asks, his hands in his pockets and a big smile on his face. “We could go to that creperie you like and maybe watch a movie afterward.”
Suguru laughs.
“You're a real piece of work. Isn't it you who likes those crepes?” He shakes his head with a fond, exasperated smile. “But sure, just let me get ready.”
He opens the door a little more, and Satoru steps inside to wait for him.
As Suguru starts changing his clothes, Satoru turns around to study the portrait displayed on the nightstand, an old picture of the two of them and Shoko at the park last summer. That was such a fun day, one of Satoru's fondest memories of their friendship.
He pats picture-Suguru's little head with his finger, vowing to fix things, whatever means necessary.
------
They have Satoru's favorite crepes for lunch, then spend a little time at the arcade before the movie starts.
It's a mystery-thriller, cat-and-mouse type of movie about a mathematics professor who overhears his neighbor killing her ex-husband and then helps her cover it up.
Satoru spends most of the time stealing glances at Suguru and doesn't even pay attention to the plot, munching on his caramel popcorn while his mind wanders. Suguru eats his share of popcorn with his eyes glued to the big screen, occasionally whispering comments in Satoru's ear, which really doesn't help him focus. He wills himself not to do anything that could potentially hurt their relationship even more, clenching the hand closest to Suguru in a fist so tight his arm even shakes a little.
By the time the movie ends, they leave the theater side by side, Suguru chattering away. He's raving about the plot twist at the movie's end as they turn towards a quiet alley when Satoru stops walking.
“Did you hate it?” He asks.
Suguru stops, too, and turns around, frowning.
“The movie?”
“The kiss.”
A pause. Suguru blinks.
“Well?” Satoru bounces on his feet, hands in his pockets.
It was definitely not easy-peasy.
“I thought I was supposed to forget about that.” Suguru finally speaks, slowly, carefully, staring intently into his eyes.
Satoru is the first to look away.
“Now I want you to remember.” He mumbles.
Simple as that. Classic Satoru Gojo.
Suguru sighs.
“Why are you sighing now?”
“Because you're exhausting, Satoru.” He rolls his eyes. “I think I've spoiled you too much.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Satoru demands, his voice taking on an unstable quality he works hard to suppress.
Suguru's slipping away. Satoru's never had anything he could lose before, so he doesn't know how he knows that, but if he doesn't do something, anything — if Suguru walks out on him right now, it's over forever. So he takes a step forward and asks again.
“What do you mean?”
Suguru seems conflicted, frustrated, maybe even a little angry. His true feelings finally surface after a week of fake, nonchalant devil-may-care attitude.
“I let you get away with so much when you really should be more mindful of others, you know? You've been acting all weird for ages, angry at fuck knows what, being rude to random people like Haibara, who — mind you — hasn't even looked at you wrong his whole life! Then you kiss me and tell me to forget it, except now, after a full week of me trying reeeeally hard to do just that, you suddenly want to talk about it in the middle of the street on our way home?” he finally stops to breathe. Satoru is so shocked by his outburst that he can't even say anything while Suguru takes in big gulps of air before adding, in a hurt tone, “Like, I'm here for you always, you know that. But it's getting really hard to keep up with your whims.”
“It wasn't,” Satoru admits, his voice so low that Suguru leans in to hear him.
“Excuse me?”
“A whim.” Satoru explains, “I mean, perhaps it was a little impromptu, but it didn't just strike me for the first time in that precise moment in the kitchen over a bowl of somen.”
Suguru, already tense and geared up for a fight, relaxes his shoulders a little.
“Oh?”
“I was jealous, alright? Because you have other friends and other things going on that I don't know about, which, yeah, it's fine, really. But all I have is this,” Satoru gestures vigorously between them. “I know we all hang out together at school sometimes, and we're all friends, and I DO like everyone — I do — but you're my only real best friend, the only person I know and understand who knows and understands me back! And even though I kept thinking about your shiny hair and your forearms and how it would feel like to kiss you, I wasn't exactly planning on doing it because things could get weird between us, and being just friends is more than enough; I swear! But Shoko got in my head, and you and I, we had a moment earlier that day so-”
“Okay, calm down.” Suguru reaches out to press both hands on Satoru's shoulders. “Breathe. Let's backtrack: you've been feeling like this for… how long?”
“Long enough.” Satoru avoids his eyes. “I don't wanna talk specifics right now.”
“Okay. And things could get weird if we kissed because…?”
“Well, for starters, you could not want to kiss me back because I'm a-”
“Sagittarius.” Suguru nods. “And an idiot.”
Satoru laughs. “Sure, whatever.”
“So you thought I didn't want to do it.” Suguru muses, scratching his chin. “That's why you ran away? Because you thought I didn't want to kiss you?”
“No. I don't know. Maybe.” Satoru sighs. “Sometimes it seems like you... like me. But we're also best friends, so…” he shrugs.
“How can you not know?!” Suguru throws his hands up in frustration. “I mean, you know you're super popular, right? Whenever we go out, you can tell when a girl's into you.”
“Random girls like me 'cause they don't know me. Haibara likes you for the exact opposite.”
Out in the open, at last.
There's something about finally admitting to an insecurity that makes you feel weak, but at the same time, it's kind of liberating. With Suguru, he doesn't have to pretend. He should have remembered that sooner. They'd always accept each other, even the worst parts, close to an unhealthy degree.
“So that's what that was all about.” Suguru nods to himself. “You had a stick up your ass this whole week because you were jealous of Haibara.”
Satoru puffs his chest, indignant.
“I didn't have any sticks up my ass!” then he deflates, pouting, “And it sounds super pathetic when you say it like that.”
“Because it is!” Suguru starts to laugh but suddenly stops. With a frown, he takes a step back. “Wait, you only kissed me because of him?!”
“NO! Shoko said…! I was…!” Satoru vigorously shakes his head, trying to focus. “Don't change the subject!” he grabs Suguru's arm and yanks him closer. “Did you hate it or not?”
Suguru sighs, covering Satoru's hand with his own and caressing it.
“No, I didn't hate it, far from it.” A beautiful smile blooms on his face. “How could I? It was you.”
“Ah. So... you mean you liked it?” Satoru takes one hesitant step closer, bringing their bodies together. “Does it mean I get to do it again?”
“From the day we met, was there even one moment I could tell you no?”
Suguru tries to see his eyes behind those sunglasses, which make him look so cool but also distant.
“That's not an answer.” Satoru grins, looking down at his lips. Excitement runs through him like electricity as he drags Suguru by the arm, venturing far into the alley and away from the main road. “This is important, Suguru; you need to be very clear about it.”
“I really do spoil you too much.” Suguru brings his hands to Satoru's face and takes off his shades, putting them in his pocket. “If you need me to say it, fine, I'll say it: I like you. You're always in my thoughts, even when I don't want you to. 'That enough for you?” with a crooked smile, he tilts his head. “I'm surprised you never noticed; I always assumed you were THAT insufferable all the time 'cause you knew the hold you've gotten over me.”
“Yeah?”
Satoru leans in. Personal space was never a real concept for him, not when it came to Suguru, so feeling the warmth irradiating from him is familiar but still somehow different, knowing he doesn't have to turn at the last moment and that he won’t be pushed away either.
Looking back, he isn't sure how he fell for Suguru or even when he first realized it. It's like they were always meant to be, like they were born for each other, to balance each other. Like every moment and every choice would always bring them to this very moment.
Still, he stops at the last moment, one final time.
“Last chance to chicken out.” Eyes closed, he teases in a whisper, one breath away from Suguru's lips.
“Man, you're so annoying.” Grabbing Satoru's shirt, Suguru brings their lips together in a kiss that's equal parts fondness and exasperation.
Satoru's arms instantly wrap around him, one hand firmly placed on his lower back and the other tangled in his hair. Satoru kisses like he does most things — faster, harder, better than anyone else in Suguru's experience.
That first kiss in the kitchen was so unexpected that Suguru didn't even have time to react. He only understood what was going on when Satoru was already running away in panic. Now, he makes the most of it, caressing Satoru's chest, his white fluffy hair, the nape of his neck, not really knowing where to touch first.
They finally break the kiss but don't move away from each other, both looking very thoroughly kissed, with glossy lips and flushed cheeks. After a moment of staring into Satoru's gorgeous eyes in silence, the corners of Suguru's lips turn up slightly as he teases:
“So… My forearms, huh?”
“Fuck off!”
“And my shiny hair?”
“Seriously, quit it!”
They head back home bickering and teasing each other like old times, except now the payoff is even better.