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Monkey D Luffy, legal 18 year old devil fruit user, walked the streets of a small village in Transylvania without fear as the women pressed crucifixes in his hands and whispered fearful prayers. He thought all of the attention was neat and all, but he was here for one reason, and once reason only.
To track down the Transylvanian Vampire Oni Devil Fruit if it was the last thing he did.
He hitched a casual ride in a horsedrawn carriage to the nearby castle, very casual and all. The castle seemed dark dangerous, and maybe a little sexy for a shitty old building, but oh well.
"Velcome to mine abode, thou hast must cum inside, for you might catch thy death of cold!" An old sexah voice behind him said. It was... Dracula!!1
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Luffy looks behind him, motioning to the rest of his crew to stay put on the Carriage Merry. They all nod to him and the carriage turns around to go back to town.
He turns back around to face the interior of the house. There's no one there. The owner of the house must be somewhere inside, Luffy thought. After all, voices carry in a large house like this.
He walks further into the house but stops as he hears a small "ding." He pulls out his mobile Den Den Mushi. Weird, he thought. I didn't think there would be any service in an old house like this.
He pauses and takes a moment to look at the notification. It's a Grindr alert (AN: Luffy is 18!)! But who could it be?
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"Hey cutie ;). You should come into the back, there's a litle surprise in there" read the text. It was Dracula!
As Lufy made his way into the back there he found a large stash of BUBBA CUSH!
"HOLY MOLY" yelled Lufy in happiness.
"CREW GET IN HERE!!"
Zoro, Sanji, and Brook came rushing in while everyone stayed behind to watch the Mary. Once they saw the mother load they all cheered! Zoro and Sanji let the exciment carry them as they began to make out. Shortly after another Grindr alert came through Lufy's phone, once again from Dracula.
"Maybe now you'll want to go gear five all over my ----3" read the text
Lufy began to blush a little, but tried to remain focus.
"Alright gang, start loading up the Mary, we got some selling and shopping to do!
"AYE AYE CAPTIN" they yelled, Zoro and Sanji still exchanging salvia.
They make it to an outpost, Sanji and Zoro exchanging in sweet love making the entire way there before bickering about who was better.
There, they sell the bubba kush and begin shopping.
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"I know we have to part ways soon, Drakucla, but we'll always be friends." Said luffy, reaching out his hand in friendship. Dracula accepted the handshake, pulling luffy iin close for a bro hug. "Take this, Drake, it will help us talk from far away." Luffy handed Drake a den den mushy, a snail phone for all the people listening or reading that don't know what that is because they have sex. "thanks, shawty" said dracula "next time i get ahold of that top shelf zaza, i'll call the president and have him send you a brick. he owes me money, so no worries. well guess it's time for me to go. good luck on your journey luuufy"
dracula whipped his cape and turned into 100 blunts and flew away. Luffy, Brook, and Zoro and sanjiji looked up at him, with tears in thier eyes (except zoro he only cried the one time) and they waved dracula goodbye.
From that moment onward, Luffy and Dracula maintained a long distance relationship over den den mushi calls, discussing the pirate's life and dracula's extensive legal battle over his daughter's custody. They proimised onnce the one piece is found and
dracula got his daughter back, they would reunite to revel in each other's love and be together permanently. but until them, remember, that's j u s t a t h e o r y.
A GAAAY THEARY!
T H ANKS FOR READBING