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The 118 trained their hoses on the spot fires, treading carefully through the rubble and ragged torn remnants of the building. The warehouse explosion seemed to be a straightforward gas leak, Eddie confirming when they arrived third on the scene the pervasive scent of ignited gas heavy in the air.

It had also been confirmed that no one had been on site when the explosion occurred, so now the task was to put out the remaining fire and secure the area against further damage.

Buck trained the hose on a persistent patch, feeling the ache in his muscles at the power of the water coursing through the reinforced material. This was the job to him, this team effort, the 118 working in perfect coordination and with absolute confidence in their hard won skills. This was what he loved.

The hose next to him suddenly switched off, and Buck glanced over to see Eddie standing stock still, hands poised on the flange regulating the water. Behind him the other firefighters holding the hose were looking at each other.

“Eddie?” Mackay called. “Is everything okay?”

After a quick glance at the sputtering spot fire Buck twisted his own water supply off and straightened. “Eddie?”

“They said there was no one on site before the explosion, right?” Eddie said, his eyes distant.

“It happened at 2am,” Buck said. “The place was empty.”

“Mackay, would you mind?” Eddie said, handing off the end of the hose to the firefighter directly behind him. With clear intent he hurried towards the remnants the wall and second floor that was all that remained of the building.

“Buck, what’s he doing?”

Buck handed the hose off to the firefighter behind him and hurried after his partner. “I’ll find out,” he called back. “You guys finish putting that out. Mackay? Call Cap.”

Eddie had stopped by the heaped pile of rubble that had been the roof and second floor. All that held it upright were the remnants of two walls meeting in a corner.  Towering 20 feet high it was a lethal looking tangle of concrete and jagged rebar.

“There’s something…” Eddie said as Buck caught up to him.

“Hearing, scent, what?” Buck said as behind them the site quieted. Hoses were switched off, heavy machinery silenced, only the distant crackle of radio chatter echoing in the trucks could be heard.

The distant look on Eddie’s face hardened to resolve. He turned and waved his arms. “I hear heartbeats!” he yelled across the tangled mess of the area. Portable floodlights lit the shattered remains of the factory, playing on the puddles of water and remnants of fabrics and paper stirring in the breeze. “Two human heartbeats!” he continued, and turned back, pointing at about two o’clock to his position.

Cap came panting up, the Incident Commander behind him.

“Diaz, are you sure?” Captain O’Brian said.

Cap looked at Eddie’s face and made up his mind. “He’s sure,” Bobby said, and O’Brian nodded and started calling out orders.

“Could be transients sleeping rough,” Bobby said, peering through the gloom. “We’re gonna need more lights over here.”

Eddie tilted his head again and closed his eyes. “They’re alive, but I think they’re unconscious,” he said. “And there’s something blocking most of the sound, I can’t…”

Suddenly a siren rang out, echoing so loudly in the the still of the night that even the mundanes winced.

Eddie dropped like a stone.

“Shit!” Buck said, grabbing Eddie before he could fall full length on the rough rubble. Eddie clutched him, on his knees, pressing his helmeted head hard against Buck’s breastbone. The siren wound down and there was yelling in the distance, but all Buck’s attention was on his partner, and the low sobbing breaths he was panting out.

“Hen, Chim!” Bobby called while Buck supported all Eddie’s weight, carefully straightening a little to try and get Eddie back on his feet. His weight was not an issue, but the angle was bad and Buck didn’t want to jar Eddie’s senses with too much touch before he was ready.

“I’m okay,” Eddie gasped, and Buck could feel him trying to straighten and stand. “I’m okay, I just need a minute.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Hen said briskly, and now there were other hands carefully supporting Buck and Eddie. “Let’s get you out of the way so we can start digging those survivors out, okay?”

Eddie half walked, half stumbled away from the pile of rubble, as rescue personnel streamed in the opposite direction, armed with the equipment they’d need to start locating and digging out the probable survivors.

Hen led the way, picking the safest path through the detritus while Buck supported Eddie on one side and Chim’s wiry strength kept him upright on the other side.

“I just need a few minutes,” Eddie said again as they followed the safest route back to their vehicles. Buck noted with relief that he already sounded better.

Hen sat Eddie down on the step of the ambulance, nodding at Buck still on Eddie’s left. “Hold onto him,” she ordered, and then she and Chim started checking Eddie’s vitals.

“Buck,” Eddie said, and with a sinking feeling Buck saw that Eddie’s eyes seemed blank as his head wavered in Buck’s direction. Eddie’s hand groped and quickly Buck pulled one of his own gloves off with his teeth and tugged Eddie’s glove off. He engulfed Eddie’s hand with his and immediately some of the tension went out of his partner’s shoulders.

“Is your vision gone?” Buck asked lowly, and Hen and Chim paused.

“It’s in and out,” Eddie confessed. “My hearing too. It’s my own fault, I got caught up and was running wide open. It’ll come back, I just need to ground myself.” He squeezed Buck’s hand and attempted a smile, then grimaced as Hen felt down his limbs.

“The turnouts protected you from lacerations,” Hen said briskly. “But you’ve probably bruised up your knees all to hell. You went down hard.”

“Eddie, I’m going to use the penlight to check your eyes, okay?” Chim said and Eddie grimaced.

“Haven’t I suffered enough?”

Buck huffed a laugh in relief, feeling the tension break a little as Hen and Chim both chuckled.

Cap appeared around the side of the unit, taking in the scene.

“How are you, Eddie?”

“Getting there, Cap,” Eddie said firmly. “I’ll be ready to get back to work in a few minutes.”

“Take your time,” Cap advised, watching as Chim shone the light quickly across Eddie’s right eye and then his left. Eddie showed no reaction and Chim turned a grim face on Cap and shook his head.

“It’ll come back,” Eddie said, although none of them had said anything out loud. “My hearing is spotty too, it’s just a sensory overload. But it’s already better than it was.”

“Glad to hear it,” Cap said. “I thought you’d want to know, a second Sentinel Firefighter just came on site, she was off duty and thought we might need a hand. She confirms your call, Eddie, two heartbeats. Apparently there were freezers back there, Sentinel Bosko thinks the survivors might be buried under insulation and that’s what blocked the equipment from picking up their heat signatures.”

“I’ll be ready to get back on duty in a few minutes,” Eddie said. He blinked slowly and to Buck’s relief this time when Chim quickly passed the penlight across his eyes in turn, he flinched a little.

“I’ll get back to it,” Cap said, patting Buck on the shoulder. “Stay with him,” he mouthed silently and Buck nodded.

“You should get back over there too, Buck,” Eddie said, although his hand still gripped Buck’s tightly.

“I need a break anyway,” Buck said. “And a drink. Could you grab us a couple of bottles of water?” he asked Chim, who nodded and headed for the cooler in the ladder truck.

“How are your dials?” Buck said. He studied Eddie’s face in relief as his partner turned and blinked, meeting Buck’s eyes.

“Erratic,” Eddie admitted. “But my eyesight’s mostly back at least. I’ve got my hearing way down, which isn’t ideal. I’m so used to relying on it to keep track of everything around me, it feels weird when it’s dialled down. Like I’m sitting in a tiny bubble of sound.”

“Well we’re all safe here so you don’t need to worry about keeping track right now,” Hen said, rolling up the blood pressure cuff. “And your vitals are good. Do not move from that spot until your vision at least is back to 100%, you hear me?”

“Who said that?” Eddie said, blinking madly, then his face creased into a laugh. “Just kidding.”

“I see your asshole dial is turned all the way up,” Hen muttered.

Eddie slipped his hand out of Buck’s and reached for his glove. “I’m fine,” he assured Buck firmly. “Almost back to normal. Go back to work, Buck, okay?”

Reluctantly Buck stood, drained his water bottle and nodded. “Drink your water,” he ordered. “And do what Hen says.”

“Yes, Mom,” Eddie said, then met his eyes and smiled. “Thanks,” he murmured.

“That’s what partners are for,” Buck said. Pulling his own glove off he he grabbed a Halligan from the truck and headed back towards the pile, where a ton of rubble had already been shifted. A path was being cleared for stretchers and Buck joined in, levering away concrete and shifting torn metal and roofing sheets.

“You were with the Sentinel when he went down.”

Buck straightened as a firefighter blocked his path. She was decked out in full gear, but wasn’t wearing a helmet. She was medium height, stocky with muscles, and a thick braid hung over her shoulder, gleaming dark red in the harsh floodlights.

She also wore the narrow platinum band that some Sentinels wore to identify themselves to emergency personnel. Usually Sentinels with allergy issues or a sensitivity to certain drugs wore the bands, which were etched on the inside with relevant information.

“I had just arrived on site when that damn siren went off,” the Sentinel continued. “It almost took me down as well. Is he okay?”

“He’s getting there,” Buck said, taking off his helmet and wiping sweat off his brow with the back of his glove. “He was running wide open and went down hard. But he was stable by the time I left him.”

“Well he did his job,” the Sentinel said grimly, glancing towards the rubble pile, where even now they could see a half a dozen rescue personnel carefully lifting a stretcher through the excavated rubble. “Those two wouldn’t have lasted much longer under all that. I’m Bosko, by the way,” she said, jerking a thumb at herself. “Station 136.”

“Buckley, 118,” Buck said, and frowned as her face underwent a series of expressions in rapid succession.

“Buckley,” she said slowly. She nodded towards the ambulance. “So that’s Diaz?”

“Eddie Diaz, yeah,” Buck said.

Hen came up in full gear and stopped next to them. “Buck, Eddie says he’s ready to get back to work, will you do me a favour and have a quick word with him? You know what a stoic ass he can be sometimes.”

“It’s his best feature,” Buck said with a grin. “This is Bosko with the 136. She’s the Sentinel who confirmed Eddie was right about the survivors in the rubble.”

“You’re a paramedic?” Bosko asked Hen curtly.

“Uh, yes,” Hen said, glancing at Buck in surprise at the Sentinel’s brusque tone.

“Then why do you need a mundane to check up on a Sentinel?” Bosko said, her voice even sharper. “If he told you he’s fine, he’s fine.”

“Excuse me,” Hen said, her own voice stiff. “But how is this your concern? If I ask Eddie’s partner to confirm my opinion, that’s my call.”

“I’m a Sentinel,” Bosko said, stepping closer to Hen and narrowing her eyes. “I’m a Gifted. The real deal, not whatever playacting this mundane is indulging in,” she continued with rough contempt, tilting her head towards Buck. Bosko turned her attention on Buck, who kept his expression blank in the face of her open aggression.

Right now all Buck cared about was whether Eddie’s hearing had improved enough to hear this confrontation, and how he’d react if he did. Buck suspected he would not take it well. In fact, Buck thought Eddie would take one look at Bosko deliberately invading his personal space and flip his Sentinel shit.

“Now you wait just a minute,” Hen said heatedly, but Buck caught her forearm and squeezed.

“Leave it, Hen, it’s not worth it.” He nodded meaningfully towards the ambulance at the edge of the street and Hen’s eyes widened in comprehension.

“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” Bosko sneered. “Indulging a damaged Sentinel is bad enough, but letting this mundane play Guide in the field is a disgrace. He needs a real partner, not whatever amateurish game you’re playing.”

With that Bosko stomped away, leaving Hen gaping and Buck staring at the ambulance, torn between hoping Eddie’s hearing was back to normal, and seriously hoping he hadn’t heard the other Sentinel’s sneering opinion.

“What the hell was that?” Hen said in disbelief. “Who the hell does she think she is?”

“An angry Sentinel whose hearing is probably just fine,” Buck warned. “So maybe don’t provoke her, okay? The last thing Eddie needs right now is to get into a territorial pissing match with someone that out of control.”

Hen was still huffing with outrage, but she narrowed her eyes at Buck’s words and gazed after Bosko, who had passed right by the ambulance and appeared to be leaving the scene entirely.

“She did seem out of control,” Hen said slowly. She looked around at the busy site and they both moved out of the way as two stretchers were carried towards more waiting units. “And where’s her Guide?”

Buck shrugged, not caring. “I’ll check on Eddie, it looks like we’re close to wrapping up here anyway, I’m guessing Cap will prefer Eddie take it easy for a while.”

Hen straightened her shoulders. “I’ll go make sure that’s what he prefers.” She sighed then and looked at Buck. “You okay? That bitch didn’t hold back.”

Buck shrugged again. “It’s nothing I haven’t heard before,” he said wryly.

Hen grimaced sympathetically. “Well for what it’s worth she was well out of order. You’re all the partner Eddie needs, Buck.”

Buck smiled and watched her head off, allowing himself a moment to close his eyes and breathe. He wasn’t going to pretend to himself that the sneering from another Sentinel hadn’t stung, but in the end it just wasn’t something he could care about. Taking care of Eddie right now was all that mattered.

Maybe Buck wasn’t everything that Eddie needed in the field, but he was all Eddie had. Most importantly - he was all Eddie wanted.

9-1-1

The film credits rolled and Buck pressed the button on the hand control, blanking the TV screen. He glanced down at the still form between them.

“Is he asleep?” Buck whispered. “Or faking?”

Eddie chuckled and dropped a kiss on Chris’s curly head. “He’s fast asleep. He gave up trying the whole fake sleep a long time ago.”

“Ah, the children of Sentinels don’t get away with anything,” Buck chuckled. “I’ll put him to bed.”

“I can manage,” Eddie protested as Buck easily lifted Chris and let him snuffle and snuggle against his broad shoulder. “I’m fine, Buck.”

Buck patted Chris’s back and eyed his partner. “Tell your knees that,” he said in unimpressed tones.

He bore Chris away while Eddie climbed to his feet and tidied up, slipping the disc out of the player, switching everything off, and carrying the remnants of their evening cocoa into the kitchen. He winced as he walked, admitting to himself Buck was right about that much at least. His knees were stiff and sore, and had already bloomed a riot of colourful bruises.

“I can wash up,” Buck said behind him as Eddie swished the mugs around the pan of soapy water, and laid them on the draining board.

Eddie sighed and turned, accepting the hand towel Buck tossed at him and wiping his hands dry.

“Buck, I’m okay,” he said again. “A bit stiff, a bit bruised. But okay.”

Buck leaned back against the fridge with a small groan. “I know,” he said. “I need to stop hovering. I can see you’re okay, Hen wouldn’t have cleared you for work if you weren’t okay. I was just… worried, that’s all.”

“It must have been scary,” Eddie said sympathetically. “Seeing me go down like that. But it’s nothing that hasn’t happened before, love, okay? It’s just a part of life as an urban Sentinel. You did your job as my partner, you supported and protected me until I regained my senses. It’s fine.”

“I know,” Buck admitted. “I just worry that one day something’s going to happen that I can’t help you with.”

“Because you’re not a Guide,” Eddie said. “But, Buck, even if I had a Guide, and they worked the job with me, and they were right there by my side, nothing would have been different. I still would have been running wide open listening for those survivors. I still would have gone down.”

Eddie reached out and Buck gladly took his hand, let Eddie draw him closer, leaned against him. “But one day I’m not going to be enough,” Buck said quietly. “Something’s going to happen that I can’t help you with.”

“Then you call the Guild for help,” Eddie said. “You think I don’t know you and Cap have their Help Line number on speed dial?”

“Hen and Chim too,” Buck admitted, and Eddie chuckled.

“Of course they do. My team has my back.”

“And you’d be okay with that?” Buck said, looking into his eyes. “Calling the Guild?”

“Not really,” Eddie admitted. “But they’re there to help, remember? And you have my medical proxy, so no one on that end could shut you out.”

“They wouldn’t want to try,” Buck said fiercely.

“They’re not the bad guys, love,” Eddie reminded him. “You can trust the Guild to do what’s best in a medical situation. Doesn’t mean you won’t be part of every decision every step of the way. Just as I would for you as your medical proxy.”

“But you do trust them?” Buck probed. “Even after Cameron? Even after El Paso?”

“I trust the Guild,” Eddie said firmly. “But the Guild is made up of people like any other organisation, and sometimes people suck. That’s why you have final say on everything.”

Buck nodded and Eddie kissed his cheek. “It’s good to discuss this stuff,” Eddie said. “Especially if it sets your mind at rest. But can we put today behind us and just go to bed?”

“It’s 9.30,” Buck pointed out.

“I said bed, not sleep,” Eddie murmured, kissing Buck’s cheek again, this time lingering there, lips stroking, tongue tip darting out to taste.

“I guess we could fill in some time before sleep,” Buck whispered back, tilting his head to give Eddie access to his throat.

“And I was thinking,” Eddie said slowly, drawing Buck out of the kitchen and switching the light off behind them. “With my poor knees in the state they’re in, I might just have to lay back and let you do all the work.”

“I think I can manage that,” Buck mused, allowing himself to be led.

“In fact, I think you should be in charge, I’ll just let you do anything you want to me.” Eddie felt the shiver go through Buck at his words and savoured the warm spread of excitement in his belly.

Buck closed the bedroom door behind him, twisted the lock, and stood leaning back against it as Eddie pulled the covers back and turned to face him in the darkness. “Anything I want?” Buck said.

The husky tone sent a shiver through Eddie’s spine now. “Anything,” he promised, and let himself be engulfed by muscular arms and silenced by questing lips as he was borne back on the bed.

9-1-1

Buck left the bed just as the sun was rising, kissing a sleepy Eddie and quietly getting dressed. Eddie lay and watched him, luxuriating in the feel of well used muscles and the scent of their lovemaking surrounding him.

“I can’t wait until you’re finally moved in,” Eddie said as Buck sat on the side of the bed to pull on his trainers.

“Not long now,” Buck promised. “But even if I were already living here, I’d still have to get up and drive Maddie to work. I’ll be glad when her car is back on the road.”

“Or she figures out that Uber is a thing,” Eddie muttered, but quietly enough that Buck didn’t hear him. He knew why Maddie was clinging to Buck at the moment and he didn’t begrudge her that. Much. She was coming back from an horrific trauma, not just being kidnapped and stabbed, but having to kill her own husband in self defence.

Just thinking of it made Eddie feel guilty for resenting Maddie’s frequent calls on Buck’s time these days. He tried not to be too possessive of Buck, he tried every day to give him his space and freedom and not make his own unfair demands on his time.

But it was hard not to be a tiny bit resentful that he was laying in an empty bed on one of their rare mornings off. Finally he sighed and pulled back the covers. Might as well get up and get Chris’s lunch ready. Maybe he’d cook something special for their breakfast.

He missed Buck already.

9-1-1

Eddie sensed his mother the moment he opened his front door and he paused in surprise, automatically cataloguing her position, her scent, her heartbeat. She was half a block away, inside her cooling car. She wasn’t making any move towards his home.

“Dad?” Chris said from behind him, and with a start Eddie made up his mind and preceded his son from the house. “What’s wrong?” Chris said, looking out into their tiny front yard and then down the street.

“Nothing, just checking the weather,” Eddie said. “Let’s get you to school, little man.”

Senses on full alert Eddie loaded Chris into the truck, his mind racing. As expected his mother started her car a moment after he did, and with a quick glance in his rear view mirror, Eddie drove the truck out of the neighbourhood and towards Durand.

Of course she’d follow him, Eddie thought grimly. She knew better than to confront him in his own home, his personal territory. That was so typical of his mother, she was a master of manipulation, and her powerful Guide empathy always seemed to leave everyone else one step behind.

Eddie kissed his son goodbye and watched him join his friends in the school courtyard, already chatting away as he turned to wave one last time and disappear inside.

With his gut tightening in anticipation Eddie openly turned to stare at his mother’s car, idling down the street, then climbed back into his truck and sped in the opposite direction from home.

Eddie had a full day planned, shopping, a service on his truck booked, and then he and Buck were taking Chris to his weekly horse riding lesson after they picked him up from school.

He wanted his mother long gone before that.

As he drove he connected his phone to the dash through Bluetooth and pressed the number for Durand.

“Good morning, Mrs Baker,” he said genially to the receptionist. “It’s Eddie Diaz here, Christopher Diaz’s father.”

“Good morning, Mr Diaz,” Mrs Baker said. “How may I help you today?”

“I’m sorry to disturb you in the morning when everything is so busy, Mrs Baker, but I’m having some issues with my parents over custody of Christopher. You have a copy of my custody report as Chris’s only parent on file, but I just wanted to make sure it’s on the record that under no circumstances is anyone but myself, Carla his home nurse, or my fiancée Evan Buckley to pick Chris up from school.”

“Ah, Mr Diaz, I’m looking up Chris’s record now… Yes, here it is. Those are the names I have here. I assure you the staff at Durand rigorously check the records before we release any child into unfamiliar hands. And if a custody agreement is changed or updated, the staff are informed.”

“Thank you, Mrs Baker,” Eddie said as he parked in a spot at a local park. “You set my mind at rest.”

He ended the call and sat for a while, looking out at the morning sunlight glistening on the grass. It was early and mostly there were just a few people walking their dogs, a group doing tai chi, some elderly people exercising. Eddie secured his truck and strolled to a nearby bench, wishing he’d grabbed himself a coffee at a drive thru so he had something to do with his hands.

He didn’t need to turn around to sense his mother pull her sleek car next to his truck, and climb out in a waft of her signature scent. He tracked the click of her heels as she followed the path he had just walked, and stopped a dozen feet away.

“Mom,” he said.

“Eddie.” Her voice was warm and full of emotion, but Eddie wasn’t convinced. One of the reasons his mother was so successful as a Gifted counsellor was her ability to project emotions as well as read them. It could make it difficult to read her, a lesson he’d learned as a child but which had nevertheless still blindsided him when she’d tried to keep him from his son. “You look good,” she said.

“Why are you here, Mom?”

“I thought it was time we ended this ridiculous breach between us. We miss you.”

“You made your choice,” Eddie said evenly.

“Mistakes were made,” his mother said, and Eddie smiled grimly. That was typical of his mom as well. Not that she had made a mistake, just general mistakes had been made.

Eddie met her gaze, reading the traces of anxiety and sincerity she was projecting. “What mistakes did I make, Mom? Other than trusting you and Pop?”

“Oh, Eddie,” she sighed, carefully approaching him and sitting at the other end of the bench with a weary sigh.

Eddie was vividly reminded of his meeting with Ana Flores a few months before. How he had deliberately kept his distance from the Guide, even as he’d felt the pull of compatibility with his senses. Now it was his mother subtly projecting at him, tugging at his senses, and just as with Ana Flores, it left him cold.

“What do you want me to say, Eddie? Your father and I mishandled the entire situation. We honestly thought we were doing the right thing. You have to admit, you were in a terrible state when you came home, you weren’t ready to deal with a disabled child.”

Sincerity and sympathy rang in her voice but Eddie only rolled his eyes.

“Knock it off, Mom, please. I haven’t fallen for that since I was 12 years old. Do you think I developed amnesia in the last two years? Drop the act.”

Helena huffed but slowly pulled back the emotion she was projecting. Now all Eddie felt was impatience, anxiety, and oddly, guilt.

“Thank you,” Eddie said politely, processing all this. Guilt? From his mother? Unexpected. “Now, why are you here?”

“I told you,” his mother said. “This rift has gone on long enough. We want to mend fences, Eddie.”

“You tried to keep me from my son.”

“And that was a mistake,” Helena said, and this time the sincerity was real, albeit reluctant. “We should have found a way to support you without trying to permanently separate you from Christopher.”

“How about not trying to separate me from Chris at all?” Eddie said, his voice rough despite his control. “I needed him.”

“And what about what Chris needed?” Helena said sharply.

“Chris needed his father.” Eddie balled his hands into fists. “He still does. I hope you didn’t come here to tell me you’re going to start all that again?”

Helena waved her hand dismissively. “Credit me with some sense, Eddie. I don’t repeat the same mistakes twice.”

“Then why are you here, Mom? What do you want?”

“We’ve been hearing stories through the Guild,” Helena said. “Mostly positive,” she added hastily. “Your father is very proud of the job you’re doing in the LAFD. He misses you so much, Eddie. He misses his son.”

“He should have thought of that before helping you take my son,” Eddie said, but he couldn’t help the sharp ache that cut through him at the thought of his father. There had always been issues between them, perhaps the most damaging were Ramon’s ambitions for his son that pushed him to ignore what Eddie really wanted.

But the bond between father and son had also been strong. Ramon had been his role model when he was very young, his ideal. And by the time Eddie was old enough to understand that a good Sentinel didn’t necessarily make a good father, he’d had other issues.

“We both regret everything that happened. Can’t we put it behind us and move on?” There was that impatience in Helena’s tone again. Of course there was, in her mind she’d made what passed for an apology, of course she wanted to draw a line under it now it suited her.

“It’s not that easy for me, Mom,” Eddie said, keeping his eyes on her face. “I trusted you to look after Christopher, and you did,” Eddie said, raising his hand to forestall her indignant protest. “You and Dad both stepped up when Shanon left, and I will always be grateful for that. But when I needed you the most you betrayed my trust, you betrayed me.”

“We really thought Chris was better off with us,” his mother said, and Eddie narrowed his eyes, wondering if she was projecting again. But no, this was his mother being honest, her sincerity clear. And there was that guilt again.

Taken by surprise Eddie turned on the bench to stare at her. “Is that the closest I’m going to get to an apology?”

Helena drew in a sharp breath, her lips tight. Then she suddenly slumped, sighed, and met his gaze. “I am sorry, Eddie. While it’s true I genuinely thought you needed a lot more time and counselling before having sole responsibility of Chris, especially at that time, we should have shared those concerns with you instead of trying to cut you out of his life.”

“So why did you?” Eddie asked, not even trying to hide his pain. “Do you know how much it hurt, telling me I was a stranger to my own child, and that he was better off without me?”

“I know,” Helena said, looking away. “I’m an empath, Eddie, of course I knew. And I knew then that I’d made a terrible mistake, but… I couldn’t let it go. I couldn’t let him go.” Helena tugged a tissue from her purse and dabbed at her eyes. “He was my baby, I’d been taking care of him for so long. Walking the floor with him at night, taking him to the doctor and to physical therapy. Sitting in the waiting room while he had his surgery.”

“I know all that, Mom. And I would have understood that you wanted to stay close to him. But he’s not your baby, he’s my baby. You had no right to keep him.”

“Look at it from my point of view,” she said, almost pleading. “You came home so hurt, so alone. And you started talking about taking Chris away, across the country, away from his family. Away from us. I didn’t want to lose him. And I’d convinced myself that we were his parents now, your dad and I. I know it was wrong, and God knows we’ve paid for it. Does he even remember us? After all this time?”

Eddie just shook his head, unwilling to share anything about Chris with his mother. He was starting to believe she sincerely regretted her actions, but was that because she knew she’d been wrong, or because she’d failed in her attempt to keep Chris?

“He’s so tall now,” Helena said wistfully. “He looks happy.”

“You say you didn’t want to lose him. Instead you lost us both.” Eddie pushed his remembered pain away and continued briskly. “So you’ve been keeping track of me  through the Guild? I can imagine what sort of rumours you’ve been hearing.”

Helena tightened her lips again, but she nodded, allowing him to change the subject. “Your father was keeping an eye on your career, without interfering,” she added quickly. “He was surprised at your choice of fire station, but he respected your right to choose the direction of your career.”

“Gracious of him,” Eddie murmured.

“Don’t be petty,” Helena said. “We left you alone, didn’t we? Gave all of us time to heal. I admit I was disappointed that you didn’t contact us at some point and reopen communication, but we respected you enough to wait until you were ready.”

“You’d have waited a long time,” Eddie said. “Some things you can’t come back from, Mom. Some things I can’t forgive. Forcing me to fight for my son through legal channels is one of them. Frankly I wanted you arrested for kidnapping, but my lawyer talked me into getting a court order forcing you to surrender Chris to me.”

“You made your point with the six armed deputies,” Helena said dryly.

“They were the judge’s idea,” Eddie shot back. “He took one look at my service record and seemed to think I was on the edge of a feral episode. In fact,” Eddie said with a humourless smile. “I’d never been more focused or in control. I always was on point when I had a mission.”

“That’s all water under the bridge,” Helena said firmly. “How can we move on if you won’t let it go?”

Eddie raised his eyebrows and didn’t bother asking her why on earth she thought he wanted to move on. “Can we get to the point, please?” he said impatiently. “I work long shifts and I like to get as much possible done on my days off when Chris is at school.”

Helena nodded curtly. “Fine, I’ll get to the point. We were told you rejected a near perfect match, and while that doesn’t surprise me,” she said, grimacing. “The fact that you rejected that match to indulge in a serious relationship with a mundane does.”

“I don’t know why.” Eddie studied her, trying to get a read on her emotions. She’d stopped projecting when he’d asked , but now the openness she’d displayed earlier was gone, Helena had deliberately slammed her shields back into place. He wasn’t getting anything at all from her now. “You’ve always known my position on a Guide. That I’d bond for love or not at all.”

“Eddie, please,” Helena said tartly. “I’m the last person in the world you should try to fool, although I note that your shielding has dramatically improved.”

“Self defence,” Eddie murmured.

“You were determined from the day you emerged not to fall in love with a Guide. You refused Guide searches, you didn’t give any of the matches your father introduced you to a real chance. Don’t try and pretend now that you weren’t prejudiced against Guides.”

“I have no issue with Guides,” Eddie said. “I’ve just always known I didn’t want to bond with one. But I’m not a martyr, Mom, if I had met a Guide and fallen in love with them, I wouldn’t have cut off my nose to spite my face.” Eddie shrugged. “I won’t pretend though that I’m not happy I never met a Guide I could fall in love with. My mind’s my own,” Eddie said, voice cooling. “I don’t want anyone in there but me. That’s a lesson I learnt at your knee, Mom.”

Helena’s cheeks paled, and for a moment her shields slipped. Eddie felt her grief, that guilt again, but also a thread of anger. She hadn’t appreciated that implication. Helena chuckled, but it was hard and forced. “Is that the way we’re remembering it?” she said.

“It’s the way it is. So is that everything then?” Eddie said. “You’re not happy I’m going to marry a mundane? Noted. Good bye.”

“Marry!” Helena exclaimed. “Are you joking?”

“I wouldn’t joke about my future husband,” Eddie said. “You and Dad aren’t invited to the wedding by the way.” Eddie stood and tucked his hands into his pockets. “I appreciate the apology, it actually means quite a lot to me. For the first time I can see that maybe some day I can forgive you both for your betrayal.”

Helena stood up and faced him, hands clutching her purse tightly.

“But not today,” Eddie finished and turned to walk away.

“No, Eddie, stop,” Helena ordered.

Eddie paused and looked over his shoulder.

“We need to talk about this,” Helena said desperately. “This is serious, Eddie, this is your life we’re talking about here.”

Eddie turned to face her. “Exactly, Mom. My life. You and Dad forfeited the right to comment on my life three years ago.”

“But marrying a mundane, Eddie,” Helena said anxiously. “That’s a step too far, it’s crazy. If you want to indulge in a relationship outside the community, that’s fine. But tying yourself to someone not Gifted? Why would you limit yourself in such a way?”

Eddie sighed, rubbing at the bridge of his nose wearily. Now his mother was projecting again, forcefully, and Eddie wondered for a moment if she was even aware she was doing it. He was bombarded with concern, desperation, love, all twisted into a blunt instrument and hammering on his shields. He just stood for long moments while she got control of herself, speculating that if he was a sensitive who could see auras, his mother’s empathy would be a raging storm around her.

Slowly she pulled it back, the force ebbing and dying to a dull kind of numbness.

“Finished?” Eddie said politely.

“I… I didn’t mean that,” Helena said, rubbing at her eyes. “You just surprised me, that’s all. I knew you were determined to turn your back on everything your father and I gave you, but I didn’t know you’d go to such spiteful lengths as these.” She shook her head. “You’re determined to throw everything away, aren’t you?”

“I’m happy, Mom,” Eddie said simply. “Happier than I’ve ever been in my life.”

“What does it say about you that you’re only happy when you’re rejecting your birthright?”

“Really, Mom? I’m still a Sentinel, but what you could never seem to grasp is that I’m a man who happens to be a Sentinel, not the other way around. I’m not a slave to my senses. They exist to serve me, I don’t exist as some vehicle to serve them. I use my gift when it suits me, and the rest of the time I do my job and live my life.”

Helena was shaking her head. “You can’t separate yourself from your gift that way.”

“I’m not separate from my gift, I just won’t sacrifice a single thing to it. And I won’t give up a single part of myself because some Gifted in the community can’t accept that I am rejecting their established way of life. I found my own way. Why do so many of you feel threatened by that?”

Helena frowned, her anger apparent. “I’m not threatened,” she ground out. “I just don’t understand you. Why can’t you just be…” She broke off, flushing.

“Normal?” Eddie finished gently.

Helena shook her head vehemently. “I didn’t say that.”

“Yes, you did. Like I said, Mom. Some things you don’t come back from.”

Eddie turned and walked away, a deliberately casual pace.

“Does your mundane lover know he’s just a weapon you’re using to hurt your family?” Helena shouted after him.

“You could ask him yourself, except at this rate you’re never going to get to meet him,” Eddie called back over his shoulder. Then he stopped and without turning he dropped his own shields, letting his mother see his strength, his determination, his utter, lethal seriousness. “Not if you know what’s good for you,” he said coldly.

Then he kept on walking.

This time his mother didn’t call after him. She let him go.

9-1-1

“Stop psychoanalysing me,” Eddie ordered.

“I didn’t say anything,” Buck said.

“My mother is not the reason I never wanted a Guide.”

“I didn’t say she was,” Buck said. “Although if she was I wouldn’t blame you.”

“Hi, Dad, Buck!” Chris called, raising a hand and waving as he rode by on the circular track, an instructor leading the horse in an easy walk.

“Looking good, buddy!” Buck called back.

“Keep both hands on the saddle horn!” Eddie ordered.

“I’m from Texas!” Chris shouted back and his instructor grinned, murmured something, and Chris put both hands back on the child sized saddle horn.

“Whose idea was this?” Eddie muttered sitting back down on the bench.

“He’s having a great time,” Buck said, patting his hand. “So how did you leave it? With your mother?”

“She asked me if my mundane lover knows he’s just a way for me to act out and spite her.”

“Does he?” Buck asked, then nudged Eddie’s shoulder when he glared at him. “Sorry, I am taking you seriously, I can see she upset you. But Eddie, spite? Does she know you at all?”

Eddie sighed. “She knows the world revolves around her and Dad and their place in the Guild, that’s what she knows.”

“Do you think that your attitude towards bonding might have something to do with her though?” Buck asked reasonably. “Not all of it, obviously. But growing up watching her… manipulate people with her gift. You can’t tell me that didn’t affect you.”

Eddie caught at Buck’s hand and held it, feeling his turbulent emotions settle a little at the familiar touch. “I hate the thought that she had that much influence over me,” he grumbled.

“Come on, she’s your mother. Good, bad, or indifferent, anyone who says their mother didn’t have a huge part in forming their personality is fooling themselves,” Buck said wryly. “Look at me. I’ve spent my life trying to unlearn the lessons I learnt at my mother’s knee.” He lifted their linked hands and laid a kiss on the back of Eddie’s hand. “Some of them I’m still unlearning, thanks to you.”

Eddie felt the warmth of Buck’s love wash over him and the churning in his gut that had roiled in his belly since the moment he’d sensed his mother’s presence that morning finally disappeared.

“Maybe she did influence me a bit,” Eddie admitted. “My father certainly did. He dedicated his life to being a Sentinel first, and a father second. I needed him – we needed him at home – but the Guild came first. And I’m not talking about working to support his family, I’d be the last one to stand in judgment on a parent who’s absent because they’re doing their job. But it always seemed as if everything else came before us.”

“So what you learned from your father was to be a man first, and a Sentinel second.”

“And what I learned from my mother was…” Eddie trailed off, not sure how to put it into words.

“That you didn’t want anyone or anything manipulating you. Not even your own gift.”

Eddie turned to Buck in surprise and met his understanding gaze. “Huh,” Eddie said. “I don’t know that I would have put it like that, but… yeah. That sums it up.” He huffed a rueful laugh and squeezed Buck’s hand again.

“Did you mean what you told her though? That one day you might forgive them?”

“I don’t know, Buck. It’s not just about forgiveness though, it’s about trust. How do I ever trust them again?”

“And trust is everything,” Buck sighed.

“The thing is, I don’t doubt they love me, it just feels like their love has all these strings attached. And I either toe their line or I’m… abnormal. That’s a toxic kind of love.”

“Is that better or worse than not being loved at all?” Buck mused.

“I don’t know that either, but I do know one thing. No matter what was going on between my parents and I, if I’d been kidnapped and stabbed by an ex, they would have been on the next flight to LA.”

“Yeah, kinds says it all, doesn’t it?” Buck said bitterly. “I don’t like to see my children in hospital, Evan’, he said in a mocking voice. “Well guess what, Mom, it’s not about you. It’s about your kid who needs you. You’re a parent, for once in your life act like it.”

“Maybe you should have said that to her. You might have felt better.”

“I doubt it,” Buck shrugged. “They’re not worth it. I gave up on them a long time ago.”

“You and Maddie both deserved better,” Eddie said firmly. “So did I. We all have better now though.”

“And look at it this way,” Buck said, nodding towards Chris making his final circuit of the field on his patient horse. “Knowing exactly how not to treat your kid makes you a better parent than either of ours could ever be. Chris will never have to wonder if he’s loved, he will always know that we accept him for exactly who he is.”

Eddie smiled, feeling the warmth of Buck’s love resonating in his words. “And that’s worth everything,” he said.

9-1-1

Eddie felt the Sentinel coming as soon as her four wheel drive pulled into the fire station car park. Absently he catalogued her movements as she briskly jumped out of her truck, locked it behind her, and strode into his fire house. He recognised her the moment he caught sight of her, he’d watched her stomp past the ambulance the week before at the gas explosion site. If his senses hadn’t still been fluctuating he’d have catalogued her scent at the time as well, and identified her as soon as she exited her vehicle. He did so now.

“Sentinel Bosko.” Eddie greeted her with a nod as she paused a dozen feet away from him.

“Sentinel Diaz.” Bosko nodded back. Her gaze darted around the station, taking in the busy garage floor, the other firefighters going about their duties, the shadowed loft area above.

“Can I help you?” Eddie said politely.

“You’re who I came to see,” Bosko said stiffly. “You and your… partner. I wanted to speak to you both.”

Eddie leaned back against the engine and surveyed her curiously. She radiated discomfort, determination, and something harder to identify. Was it grief? Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you think you said enough to Buck already?”

Lena huffed with resignation. “He told you.”

“No, actually,” Eddie corrected. “I heard the whole thing. I tend to recover pretty quickly from a sensory overload, and that one was fairly minor compared to a possible hit during combat.”

“True that,” Lena muttered. She narrowed her eyes. “I’m surprised you didn’t confront me at the time. The stories I’ve heard about your… relationship with the mundane are that you’re pretty territorial over him.”

“If I’d thought he was in danger I’d have knocked you on your ass,” Eddie said coolly. “But Buck can take care of himself, he doesn’t need me rushing to his rescue like he’s some damsel in distress.”

“Knock me on my ass, eh?” Bosko said and smirked. “You think you could take me, Diaz?”

“In your current condition, hell yes.” Eddie shook his head. “You’re a mess, Bosko.”

She stiffened, her fists clenching, and Eddie braced himself, all his senses on full alert. But within moments she regained control and her shoulders slumped. “Yeah,” she said gruffly. “I am. Truth is I wasn’t off duty the other day, I’d been stood down pending a psychiatric review.” She grimaced. “Which will mean six weeks of Guild counselling minimum.”

“You have my sympathies,” Eddie said evenly. “Why did you want to see us?”

Bosko set her jaw and then snorted. “I’m not afraid to call a spade a spade,” she said curtly. “And I’ll say what I think and political correctness be damned. But… I had no call to sound off to your partner the way I did. Fact is I’ve been hearing stories about you and your mundane partner for months, and it’s been bugging the hell out of me.”

“Why?”

Lena looked away, and now everything else she projected was gone, drowned in her grief. “I lost my Guide three years ago in Afghanistan,” she said bluntly. Her voice was hollow, her eyes when she looked back at Eddie were blank.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie said quietly.

Bosko shrugged as if irritated by the whole subject, but the scent of her grief was palpable now. “I was career military, you know? Born into a Marine family, figured I’d die in one.” She shook her head. “But I never counted on losing the other half of me first.”

“You left the service?”

“The service left me,” Bosko said, and now fury splashed over the grief. “Fuckers in the Gifted Division didn’t even wait a month to start throwing new Guides at me. Like Marty was some broken piece of ordnance I’d left behind in the desert that could just be replaced. I didn’t… handle it well.” She laughed mirthlessly. “Frankly in the circumstances I was lucky to get an honourable discharge.”

“I can’t say I would have reacted any better,” Eddie said roughly. He knew very well what the thought of losing Buck did to him.

Bosko looked at him, reluctant curiosity on her face. “It’s true then, what they say? You treat that mundane like a Guide?”

“I treat Buck,” Eddie said, stressing the name. “Like the man I love. The man I’m going to marry.”

Bosko’s eyes widened. “Right.” She whistled. “That’d do it.”

“I’ll pass your apology along,” Eddie said.

“You don’t want me to apologise to him in person?” Bosko said with a smirk.

“No,” Eddie said. He didn’t want Bosko anywhere near Buck. From what he could see she couldn’t get help fast enough. She was all over the place, and right now he considered her a danger to herself and others. In fact if he’d been close enough to her the other day to see what a fucking mess she was, he would have been in her face and between her and Buck without a second thought.

“I don’t blame you a bit,” Bosko said. And she nodded and walked away, her back stiff.

Eddie thought about it for about five seconds before heading upstairs to Bobby. He found the Captain in the kitchen, flicking through a folder full of plastic coated recipes.

“Hey, Eddie.  I’m doing pasta tonight, any preferences?”

“Your carbonara is pure indulgence,” Eddie said.

Bobby grinned. “Carbonara it is.”

“Make enough for leftovers,” Eddie said quickly. “Cap? There’s something I need your advice about.”

Bobby closed the folder, studying Eddie’s face. “My office,” he said, and led the way.

Cap listened as Eddie outlined his concerns, then sat back in his chair, nodding thoughtfully. “You don’t think Guild counselling will be enough.”

“I’m not sure she’ll make it to Guild counselling,” Eddie said bluntly. “I don’t know what kind of support system she has at the 136, but I’ve got to wonder if they’re relying too heavily on the Guild to get her through this. I can’t believe that if you had a mundane firefighter who’d lost a life partner and was now suffering with violent mood swings, that you would simply put them in the hands of a therapist and walk away. You’d be there, backing them up, making sure they had every tool they needed to get through this.”

“I hope I would,” Cap said. “I appreciate you understand that much about the kind of leader I try to be.”

“But she’s a Sentinel. It may be that her Captain is a little less sure of what she needs or how far he can go. It could also be that as a mundane he’s just not seeing what a Gifted would see. And what I see is a Sentinel in a spiral. She’s tough as nails and she’s held it together this long after the loss of her Guide. But I think she’s hit a wall, and…”

“And you think she’s a danger to herself and others.”

“She could be. But if I had to guess I’d say more of a danger to herself at this point.”

“Captain of the 136 is Ronnie Cooper,” Cap said. “He’s a good man, much respected by his team and  pretty hands-on with his people. I’ll reach out to him,  let him know our concerns. You okay with me telling him what you’ve told me?”

“Yes.” Eddie hesitated. “In the military I’ve dealt with Gifted who lose their bonded in battle. You can tell which ones will come back from that loss, and which ones you put on suicide watch. I don’t know if Bosko is the kind to kill herself, but the fact that she’s roaming around off duty looking for disasters to volunteer at tells me maybe she’s looking for another way out and doesn’t even realise it.”

Cap’s eyes widened. “I’ll get on it straight away.”

Eddie stood. “Thanks, Cap.”

“You did the right thing coming to me with this, Eddie.”

“I guess we’ll see.”

9-1-1

Buck heard Eddie out, chewing a little on his thumbnail, the way he did when he was deep in thought. As was their habit, Eddie gently guided Buck’s hand away from his mouth and held it, while Buck blinked and smiled ruefully.

“Caught me again.” He tilted his head, smile turning quizzical. “Why didn’t you say that you’d heard what Bosko said?”

“Why didn’t you tell me what Bosko said?” Eddie countered. The station was mostly sleeping, 18 hours into a 24 hour shift. They were offline except in the case of emergencies, and Eddie and Buck were taking advantage of the privacy to cuddle up together on the couch, the TV playing quietly in the background.

“Touché,” Buck said. “Because it wasn’t important, I guess. And because I didn’t want to upset you.” He thought about it for a moment. “But thank you. For not running out and rescuing me.”

“I respect that you can handle yourself, Buck, you know that. What I heard was some fool shooting their mouth off. Nothing we both haven’t heard before, one way or another.”

“With your senses you probably hear a lot more of that than I do,” Buck said shrewdly.

Eddie shrugged, not denying this fact. “But respect aside, if I’d been operating at 100% and realised what a mess she was? I’d have been out there standing between you, no matter how it looked.”

Buck peered up at Eddie’s face in the dim light. “She was out of control, Hen and I both spotted that.” Buck huffed a laugh. “Couldn’t miss it. But you really think she’s spiralling?”

Eddie sought for words. “It’s hard to describe sometimes, how I read emotions. It’s not like Guides do it, they’re literally getting empathic impressions from people.The really talented ones can pick up stuff that’s so subtle, it’s almost unbelievable. But for me, it’s more… experience. Instinct. When all my senses are engaged it’s like my brain is getting a bunch of information all at once. Scent, sight, sound. So quickly my brain is processing it before I could form the words to describe it. And with experience, all those impressions can add up to conclusions. I don’t even think about it anymore. Strong stuff like anger, greed, grief, lust… the older I get the easier it is to read.”

Buck listened with fascination. “That’s amazing,” he murmured. “But if you think about it, people who aren’t Gifted do that as well, we just don’t have the sensory tools you do, so maybe we’re not always as accurate or as quick. But most people can read a room, sense an atmosphere, figure out the mood of someone they know by a facial expression or tone of voice.”

“I guess so,” Eddie agreed. “In Bosko’s case it’s mostly experience. I’ve dealt with Gifted who’ve lost their Sentinel or Guide. Even if she hadn’t told me, I would have figured it out.”

Buck frowned. “But I don’t understand why she told you. What’s that got to do with her being irritated by us? You don’t even have a Guide, so it’s not like she envies your bond.”

Eddie shook his head. “You’re right, and I’ve racked my brains trying to figure that out. Maybe it’s because her senses are failing without her Guide, and it bugs her that I manage my senses without having a Guide?” He snorted. “Who knows?”

“I remember when we were getting to know each other, you told me that some Sentinels want a Guide, and some need a Guide. Maybe it’s not just grief for her lost bond, maybe she’s the type that needs a Guide to function? And without that, she’s falling apart?”

Eddie shivered. “A thought that scares the hell out of me,” he confessed.

Buck snuggled closer. “That’s not something you ever have to worry about,” he murmured. “You’ve made your own way in life, and made your own decisions.”

Eddie turned and pressed a kiss on Buck’s cheek, the most he’d allow himself when they were at work. He breathed in Buck’s clean scent, easily reading love and contentment and joy. Eddie threw off his pensive mood, tugged the throw a little higher, and closed his eyes.

He had made his own choices, and they’d led him here, to this place, to this man. To the love of his life and a future with his own little family. He knew very well how lucky he was. And he knew exactly how far he’d go to keep hold of that.

9-1-1

Eddie, spotted Buck’s jeep as he pulled up to the kerb, and instantly extended his senses as he shut the truck down and climbed out. The driver side door was open, but Buck was nowhere in sight. Their front door was still closed, and pacing around Buck’s jeep Eddie could clearly hear the house was ringing with silence.

Eddie stopped short at the front of the jeep, something in him turning ice cold at the sight of Buck’s key ring sprawled on the driveway, the L.A. Zoo keychain Chris had bought him for his birthday clearly visible.

Eddie ran to the front door and unlocked it, stepping inside and casting all his senses wide. No, no one had been inside since they’d left this morning, the air was undisturbed, Buck wasn’t laying unconscious somewhere inside.

A car was pulling up to the kerb in front of his and gratefully Eddie turned, hoping against hope that it was Buck, that there’d been some mix up.

But it wasn’t Buck emerging from the driver or passenger door. It was his parents. Eddie’s worry and fear combined with the memory of his parents conspiring to steal his son away from him, and sudden rage engulfed him like a flame.

“Eddie?”

Eddie flew at his father, grabbed him by his lapels and bore him back against his car. “Where is he?” he yelled into his father’s shocked face. “Where is Buck? What have you done with him?”

“Eddie, let him go!” Helena gasped out.

“Mijo,” Ramon said, his hands coming up to Eddie’s fists still clenched in his jacket. Ramon gently laid his hands over his son’s, meeting his enraged gaze with calm, whiskey brown eyes that were the mirror of his own. “Edmundo,” Ramon said softly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, son. I don’t know where Buck is.”

Helena laid her hand on Eddie’s shoulder too, her shields gone, radiating her honest emotions. “He’s telling you the truth, Eddie. We don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Eddie clenched his fists tighter for a moment and then let go, shoving himself away. He lifted his hands to his head and clutched his skull, fighting for control, battling the terror.

Ramon stayed were he was, watching his son closely. “We just got here, son, we don’t know what’s happened.”

“Tell us, Eddie,” Helena pleaded. “What’s happened to Buck?”

“I don’t know!” Eddie almost howled. He flung his arm out. “His jeep is here, the door is open, his keys are on the ground. He’s just… gone.”

“Maybe you need to call the police?” Helena said hesitantly.

“Not yet.” Ramon circled Eddie and looked him in the eyes, careful to keep a distance between them. “First we do what we were trained for. You just found this, yes? Just before we got here?”

Eddie nodded blankly. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Yes you do,” Ramon said sharply. “You pull yourself together and you think. You use your brain and your senses and you figure this out.”

“There’s nothing here,” Eddie exploded. “All I scent is Buck, his car, his keys.”

“Is there blood?”

Eddie jerked in shock. “What?” Involuntarily Eddie’s senses flared to life. “No,” he said quickly. “No blood.” Eddie stepped around the jeep and gazed at the keys, the open door, the worn and stained old concrete driveway, small weeds struggling through the cracks. Eddie crouched. “These could be scuff marks,” he said.

“I don’t know Buck,” Ramon said, crouching next to him, running sensitive fingers over the tiny weeds, bruised and broken. The barest trace of fresh marks in the worn surface of the concrete. “So I can’t tell his scent from another. But someone else was here, Eddie. If he was taken then someone else was here.”

“He wouldn’t go without a fight,” Eddie said, straightening. He was focused now, his mind racing ahead. He always worked better when he had a mission.

“At gunpoint?” Helena ventured.

Eddie and Ramon shook their heads at the same time. “I could smell a weapon at fifty paces,” Eddie said. He closed his eyes, teeth clenched in frustration. His eyes flew open and he stared at his father in an agony of frustration. “I’m not a cop, Dad! I’m not trained for this!”

“No, you’re a medic. And I scent something that doesn’t belong. Concentrate, Eddie. Close your eyes again.”

Eddie watched his father reach out and take his mother’s hand, saw them both close their eyes, tilt their heads, retreat into their senses. Ramon into the Sentinel’s five senses honed by a lifetime of experience, Helena into the Guide’s sixth, still a mystery to many, labelled as empathy. Finally Eddie closed his own eyes and focused.

“It’s chemical,” Ramon murmured. “Tiny traces.” He and Eddie dropped back into a crouch at the same instant. “A minute drop fell, so small. Maybe a syringe…”

“Ketamine!” Eddie shouted. He stood, opened his eyes, stared around. “Someone surprised him, stuck him with a needle. Drugged him.” Pain clenched at his chest and he lifted his fist, pressed it to his heart. “Oh, Buck.”

“Helena?” Ramon said.

Eddie turned to look at his mother, who still had her eyes closed, her small hand wrapped in her Sentinel’s. “Mom?”

“I feel his surprise,” she murmured. “His shock as he went down. Then nothing.”

“And his attacker?” Ramon said, his voice whisper soft. Eddie suppressed the urge to question her, he just looked back and forward between them. He had so rarely seen his parents together like this as a bonded pair.

Helena winced. “Desperation,” she whispered harshly. “Pain, so much pain.” A tear trickled out of the corner of her eye. “Oh, the grief, Ramon. The grief.”  Her knees buckled and Ramon caught her, as realisation exploded across Eddie’s mind.

“Bosko,” he said. “Bosko took Buck.”

“Now it’s time to call the police,” Ramon said.

9-1-1

Buck woke up with a raging thirst and a pain in his head. He blinked bleary eyes and grabbed the side of the bed as he straightened, feeling the rough weave of stiff cloth under his fingers. He focused on it, still blinking. It looked like an old army blanket, a faded khaki colour. It was thrown over a narrow cot, and he had been placed on top of it.

Buck knew he had been put there because he had no memory of coming to this place, let alone laying down. It was a disturbing, disorienting feeling, waking up somewhere he didn’t know.

In his youth he’d awakened in a lot of strange beds, but he’d never been one to drink to excess, so he’d never woken wondering where he was and how he’d gotten there. Mostly he’d woken wondering how quickly he could get up and make his escape from the stranger’s bed he’d spent the night in.

The room swam into focus now, a small wooden cabin by the look of it, rough hewn wooden walls, another camp bed, two folding chairs, a folding table, and… nothing. No rugs on the floor, no curtains on the windows, of which there were two, one each side of the door. No signs of life in this little wooden world but him.

Outside came the dull thunk of sound that had stirred him from his unconsciousness. Now Buck  recognised it as the sound of an axe chopping wood. Through the windows he could see blue sky and trees, across one pane of dull glass he even saw a bird flying. The sound of an axe chopping wood should have been a comforting, homely kind of sound.

In these circumstances it sent a chill of horror down Buck’s spine.

On the folding table was a commercial brand of bottled water, and the thirst was so great Buck was on his feet and reaching for it before he thought twice. He swiftly drew his hand back as his brain caught up with his needs. Someone had stabbed him in the neck with a syringe, questing fingers easily found the lump. Someone had drugged him. Buck wouldn’t be drinking anything his kidnapper left behind.

Outside the axe thunked again.

Buck sidled to the window, eyes darting around looking for some kind of weapon. He’d taken a self defence course once, years before he’d come to LA, after a close call on a deserted highway that he’d taken care never to tell anyone in his life about. ‘Anything can be a weapon,’ the instructor had said, and Buck eyed the legs of the folding table speculatively.

At the window he peered out, eyes adjusting to the light after the gloom inside, and he let out a huff of shocked breath at the sight. It was Lena Bosko, Sentinel, standing wide legged by a stump, leaning over and placing a log on the surface, lining up the axe, and bringing it down, splitting the log with one clean blow.

Buck abandoned his plans for a weapon. Nothing in this place could match a Sentinel with an axe.

Bosko stopped, wiped her forehead, and without looking around called over her shoulder. “You really should drink some water. I promise I didn’t tamper with it.”

Buck swallowed around the dryness of his throat, remembering everything Eddie had told him about the Sentinel. She was spiralling, Eddie said. More than likely having sensory issues. Suffering from depression. Possibly suicidal. A danger to herself and others.

Taking one last deep breath Buck opened the door and emerged into the late afternoon light.

For the first time Buck wondered how long he’d been out. He’d finished his shift at 8am, driven by his old apartment to do one last walk through before handing over the keys, then driven straight to Eddie’s. To his new home with Eddie. Was this even the same day? Eddie must be beside himself with worry. And Chris, he was so little. Would he understand why Buck wasn’t there? And where the hell was he?

“Your head clearing?” Bosko said, thunking the axe one last time into the stump, where it stayed handle out, and turning to face him. Buck eyed the axe as he cautiously circled the small clearing. Woods surrounded them, light and sunny, and in the distance the glimmer of water. A lake maybe?

“Bosko,” Buck said, and cleared his throat when his voice came out ragged. “What have you done?”

Bosko stripped off the work gloves she was wearing and tossed them on the stump next to the axe. “Sorry to take you down like that. I’m not a backstabber by nature. But I needed to get you away from Diaz, I couldn’t risk a fight with him. She grimaced. “Because he’s right. Right now I’m such a mess I doubt I could take him down.” She stared at Buck. “That’s why you’re here.”

Despite the late afternoon light flooding the clearing, Buck felt a cold chill at the look she gave him.

“Where is here?” Buck said, hoping to keep her talking until Eddie found him. Did Eddie even know he was missing yet?

Bosko looked around her. “This was my dad’s place. He was a Marine, away a lot of the time. When he came home we’d come here, just him and me. Go fishing, commune with nature. He was killed in combat when I was 15.”

“I’m sorry,” Buck said, eyeing the trees around the clearing.

“Please don’t try it, Buckley,” Bosko said. “We both know I could run you down without breaking a sweat. I may not be at my best, but even damaged I could track you with my eyes closed.”

“I’m not running,” Buck said. “I’m wondering when Eddie will get here.”

Bosko chuckled. “If they figure out I’m the one that took you, probably not long. It’s no secret this is my bolt hole when I need solitude. But do you think they’ll connect me to you?”

Buck shook his head. “I can’t imagine why they would. Because there is no connection between us, Bosko. What are you doing?”

“I’ve been watching you,” Bosko said, voice abrupt. “Since we met. I’ve been careful. Far enough away your Sentinel couldn’t sense me.”

“Eddie’s not my Sentinel, Lena,” Buck said, keeping his voice calm. “He’s my fiancé.”

“I’ve seen how you are with him,” Lena continued, as if Buck hadn’t spoken. “I watched you with him in the field. You know just when to stay close, and when to give him his space. You watch him, you know when he’s using his senses. Do you realise the rest of your team look to you? Take their cues from you about what he’s sensing?”

Now Lena looked at him as if she was finally seeing him. Buck tried to read her face but it was blank and far away, like someone lost in a waking dream.

“Sometimes you just touch him in the small of his back,” Lena said. “And I see him relax. How do you know, mundane? How do you know when he needs grounding?”

“He’s my partner,” Buck said, trying to contain his fear. How could he reach this woman, when she seemed to barely be present half the time? “We’ve worked together for more than a year. That’s what a partnership is like, if it’s a good one. You learn to read each other. He knows me as well as I know him.”

Bosko stepped closer, and while Buck was glad to see her leaving the axe behind, he fought the urge to turn and run as she paced towards him. “Diaz is a Sentinel,” she said and now her voice was low and menacing. “A Sentinel needs a Guide.” She stopped a few feet away from him and stared into his eyes. “So how is it he only has you?”

“I just told you,” Buck began, hoping she couldn’t see the fear in his eyes.

“No!” Bosko said, slashing her hand through the air. Buck clenched his fists, bracing himself.  He wondered if this was how prey felt when being stared down by a predator. He felt as if any moment Bosko would go for his throat.

“That’s mundane talk!” she hissed. “He’s my partner he’s my lover,” she said in a sing song voice. “Bullshit! He’s a Sentinel! He hears heartbeats a block away! He smells fear like sweat from your pores! He can hit a target the best mundane sharpshooter in the world would struggle to see! Everyone was talking about him, he stopped your station from being poisoned, he stopped your firehouse from being bombed!” Bosko leapt forward, physically crowding Buck so his hands came up and he was forced to fall back a step. “How did he do that without a Guide?” she spat.

“I don’t know!” Buck yelled. Terror was a block of ice in his chest. She was so close he didn’t need enhanced senses to smell her sweat, hear her heaving breaths, see the madness in her eyes. “I only know what he tells me, and he says he doesn’t want a Guide!”

Bosko lifted her fist as if to strike him and Buck raised his fists even further to protect his face. He was no fighter, he was the first to admit it. But he wasn’t going to cower here if she attacked him, he’d fight back with the few skills he had.

Get her down, if you can, then run. Find a stick, a rock, a stone. Anything can be a weapon. Go for her eyes, her throat. Throw dirt in her face. Use your fingers like claws if that’s all you have.

Everything he remembered from that long ago self defence course came back to him. Buck knew he wouldn’t stand a chance in a fair match, so he’d fight as dirty as he had to if that was the only way to survive until Eddie found him.

Bosko froze with her fist raised, blinking as if she was peering through a fog. Her eyes darted from Buck’s face to his fists, to her own fist, and back to his face again. Then they widened, she shook her head and stepped back.

Almost panting with adrenaline and terror, Buck watched as she shook her head again, raised her hand to her eyes. “No,” she gasped out. “I didn’t bring you here to hurt you. I need you. I need you to do for me what you do for him. You’re mine now, and I have to protect you.”

“Who… who’ll protect me from you?” Buck managed, his voice shaking. Were her senses failing, like Eddie said? Her eyes had seemed to blur, she was still shaking her head like a swimmer with water in their ears. He risked a glance behind him, eyes tracing a path that could lead out to a road. Was this his chance to run?

Buck almost yelped as a hand like a claw caught his wrist. “Don’t run,” Bosko growled, her flushed face close to his. “If you run I can’t fight my instincts, and I’ll break you.” She grimaced and seemed to force her next words out. “I need you to bond with me the way you bond with him.”

And then to Buck’s horror she grabbed the back of his head and tried to force her lips on his.

Instinctively he brought both hands up and broke her grip with his wrists, striking her hands out and away from his face. Then, almost mindlessly now, he slammed his forehead into her face, hearing the crunch of broken cartilage as he hit her nose, feeling the spray of hot blood against his cheek as she reeled backwards.

Now Buck ran. Not behind him but forward, springing into a leap over her flailing legs as she hit the ground and rolled. His long legs ate up the ground, his eyes desperately sought the way through the dry tangle of trees and underbrush. In the distance the evening sun glinted off the water, and without a thought past escape, Buck made for the lake.

Buck was a runner. He was built to run. From the time he’d learned to walk, he’d run. It had always been speed for him, so quickly his little pumping legs had found bike pedals and skateboards and anything with an engine that went fast. Back then he’d run from cold silences and judgmental stares, and words that stung worse than a slap or a blow. Now he ran for his life, hearing the howl of rage behind him even over the sawing panting of his breath.

She’d said she’d break him if he ran, but if the alternative was whatever violation she’d had in mind when she’d tried that violent parody of a kiss – Buck would choose to fight until he was broken.

Eddie, he thought. Please find me, Eddie. I love you so much. I thought I knew what love was until you showed me anything I’d felt before was shallow and weak. Forgive me for not waiting for you, for not enduring whatever I had to until I could get back to you. But I couldn’t, love, I couldn’t. I’m yours, Eddie, I’ll never belong to anyone but you.

There were the crashing sounds behind him of someone falling into the brittle dry brush and spitting curses, and the parts of Buck’s mind not frozen with terror and flight knew then that Eddie had been right. Bosko’s senses must be failing her. If she’d been at her best she’d have surely run him to ground by now. Ahead of him was the lake shore and before he even skidded to a halt Buck’s eyes were desperately scanning the ground ahead.

With a cry of triumph that felt almost feral in his throat Buck pounced on a branch, thick as his wrist, as long as his arm.

Anything can be a weapon. Any object that allows you to strike or thrust at an opponent from a distance. Primary targets head and neck, collar bone, solar plexus, elbows, knees, kidney and groin. Thrust at face, throat, ribs.

Holding the stick in two hands like a swordsman wielding a broadsword, Buck braced himself, his back to the water, as Bosko emerged full force through the trees. Buck had one glimpse of her face covered in blood and dirt, her eyes red rimmed and swollen, her teeth bared in a snarl, before she was on him.

He struck.

9-1-1

The police cruiser pulled up behind a dusty four wheel drive, and Athena was out of the car with her hand held out as the 118 Captain’s vehicle and ambulance pulled up behind her. Behind them was a blue SUV and before that car had even stopped the front passenger door was flung open and Eddie was running.

“Eddie don’t you dare!” Athena ordered, her tone low. “Dammit,” she swore as Eddie’s father pushed out of the backseat and ran after his son. “I will shoot you,” Athena threatened, still trying to keep her voice low.

“It wouldn’t make any difference,” Helena said, climbing out of the car with a sigh. “Eddie is in full protector mode for his lover, and Ramon is in full protector mode for his son. They’ll run until they’re done hunting, or they’re dead.”

“I knew I should have handcuffed them,” Athena muttered. Bobby was next to her now and Hen and Chim were hovering by the ambulance. “You stay here until the area is cleared,” Athena ordered her husband. Then she signalled to the other two officers with her and took off after the Sentinels at a run.

Hen and Chim exchanged glances. “Are we waiting, Cap?”

“I’m not,” Helena said, and took off down the path.

9-1-1

Eddie ran, throwing his senses out before him. He could see the old wooden cabin ahead but already knew it was empty.

“Blood,” Ramon called.

Eddie swerved around the hard packed area, slowing, turning swiftly, gathering information. Blood, but not Buck’s. A spray on the dusty ground, signs of struggle. And foot prints crushing the grass… Eddie’s head lifted and turned towards the glimmer of water in the distance just as Athena and the other officers came toward the cabin at a run.

“Eddie, stop, for gods sake we don’t even know if she’s armed!” Athena ordered, but Eddie was off again, slowing just long enough to lever the axe out of the stump and bear it one handed through the woods.

“You,” Athena said, pointing at Ramon. “You better stop that boy from killing Bosko, or I will be putting him in handcuffs before the day is done.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Ramon said, and set off at a steady lope after his son.

Eddie tuned them all out, Buck was thirty metres ahead, and with his blood running cold Eddie heard the sounds of struggle, grunts of pain, and then, chillingly, just groans and panting breaths. The fight was over, but who had triumphed?

Through the trees he saw Buck on his knees, holding himself up with one hand braced in the dirt. Bosko stood over him, swaying, her hair a tangle of twigs and blood. She was reaching for Buck’s head and Eddie knew, recognised, felt to his soul that she was planning to snap Buck’s neck.

A sound filled his ears and Eddie dimly recognised it was his own voice screaming, Bosko paused, her head wavering as she turned towards him. She raised a hand, took a stumbling step backwards at the sight of him - but Eddie was already swinging the axe in both hands. A moment before he could strike he was taken down at the knees from behind.

A shot rang out and but Eddie’s eyes were still fixed on Buck even as the axe flew from his hands, even as he struggled to throw off his father’s weight. Dimly he saw Bosko clutch her shoulder and topple backwards, blood spraying from the gunshot wound.

“Buck,” Eddie gasped and his father rolled off him and let him scramble away.

“Go,” Ramon said and Eddie was already crawling across the bloody ground.

Eddie rose to his knees in front of Buck, who was reaching for him even as his strength seemed to fail and he toppled forward.

“Buck, Buck,” Eddie said, and he was crying, sobbing as he clutched his wounded love close.

“Eddie,” Buck mumbled through swollen lips. “I knew you’d come.” And then to Eddie’s horror Buck went limp in his arms.

“Medic!” Eddie yelled over his shoulder, frantically listening to Buck’s heartbeat, sensitive fingers feeling his neck and the back of his head as he held him with one arm.

“We’re here, Eddie,” Hen panted, and suddenly she and Chim were beside him on the churned up ground, reaching for Buck.

For a moment Eddie clutched him tighter, unwilling to let him go even for a second, but his training overrode his instincts and he let them carefully take Buck from his hands and lay him back in the grass.

“Son,” Ramon said gently, taking his shoulders. “Give them room. We’ll stay right here by his side, but give them room to work.”

Eddie straightened and turned into his father’s embrace, letting strong, familiar arms engulf him, forcing himself to hold his father so he wouldn’t rip Hen and Chim away from Buck and clutch him close again.

“Papi,” he breathed.

“You did good, Eddie. You did just fine.”

“Chim, I’ve called for another ambulance, but I need one of you over here.” Athena’s voice was urgent, she was crouching next to Bosko, her hands pressing the wounded shoulder. Bosko was stirring and Eddie tried to twist from his father’s hands, a growl in his throat.

“No you do not!” Athena shouted, holding up one bloody hand. “I swear to god if you make a move for her or that axe I will shoot you too! Sentinel Diaz, get control of yourself right now!”

Ramon clutched him tighter but Eddie was already frozen in his arms. It wasn’t Athena’s command that stopped him, but his father’s words, hissed Sentinel soft in his ear. “They will separate you from Buck if you fight them now. Buck needs you, protect Buck.” And finally, voice even lower. “She’ll wait.”

Eddie met his father’s eyes, saw the promise and determination in them, and nodded.

“I’m fine,” Eddie said to Athena. “I’m in control.”

“You better be,” Athena said, her hard voice telling him he wasn’t forgiven for basically ignoring everything she’d said to him all day.

9-1-1

 Buck jerked awake in the back of the ambulance as Chim gently cleaned a gash on his splinted arm. “Eddie,” he gasped.

Eddie leaned into Buck’s field of vision and laid a hand on his leg, squeezing gently. “I’m here.”

Buck blinked and focused. “I knew you’d come,” he said hoarsely.

“Is your throat dry, Buck?” Chim said. He had a squeeze bottle of water and held it to Buck’s mouth when he nodded. Buck sipped and moistened his lips, sighing gratefully, and then wincing.

“Are my ribs broken?” he said, lifting one hand as if to press against his chest. Eddie caught it, careful of the IV line taped on the back.

“Could be just bruised,” Chim said, finishing up with the gash. “How do they feel?”

“Hurts,” Buck said and closed his eyes. Then they flew open and he tried to sit up. “Bosko!” he gasped. “She tried to kill me! She tried…”

“It’s okay,” Eddie said quickly, helping Chim gently press Buck back down. “She won’t be hurting anyone ever again.”

Buck focused on Eddie and his hand caught Eddie’s arm. “Did you kill her?” he asked urgently, and Eddie heard Chim draw in a surprised breath.

Eddie carefully slid Buck’s hand until it was holding his. “No,” he said, gazing into Buck’s eyes. “Athena had to shoot her to put her down, but she’s not dead.”

Buck sighed and laid back. “Tell me she’s not going to the same hospital as me,” he said drowsily, eyes fluttering closed.

“She better not be,” Eddie muttered.

“They’re taking her to Presbyterian, we’re going to Mercy,” Chim said. “Maddie is waiting for you, and anyone not already there is on their way there.”

Buck licked his swollen lips again. “Chris,” he said, peering at Eddie through half open eyes.

“He thinks we’re pulling an extra shift,” Eddie reassured him. “Carla’s with him, he’s fine.”

“Good,” Buck slurred, and closed his eyes on a sigh.

Chim eyed Eddie. “You okay?” he asked quietly.

“I’m fine,” Eddie said, focusing on Buck’s heartbeat and breathing.

“You were pretty… intent back there,” Chim said carefully.

Eddie glanced at him and met his friend’s concerned eyes. “I’m fine,” Eddie repeated. He really wasn’t in the mood to chat.

“Ok, but… you know they’re going to separate you in the hospital, right? Even if it’s just to take him to X-ray. Can you cope with that?”

Eddie sighed. “I’m not out of control, Chim, I promise you. I did what I had to do to keep Buck safe, to get him back. And while… Bosko was on the scene I was still on full alert.”

“That’s one word for it,” Chim muttered.

“But I’m not out of control now.” Eddie turned his attention back to Buck, feeling him slip into an exhausted sleep. “I’m fine.”

“He’s fine,” Chim muttered in disbelief, but at least he let it go.

9-1-1

Eddie braced Buck against him as the ER doctor carefully inserted the last stitch in his brow and then quickly tied it off. The area was numbed, but Eddie could see by the way Buck grimaced that there was still enough sensitivity on his bruised face that the stitches stung.

“All over now,” the doctor said briskly, dropping his tweezers and needle onto a tray that a nurse whisked away. “They’ll be coming soon to take you to X-ray, and then we’ll get you set up in a room, okay?”

“I want to go home,” Buck said, leaning against Eddie.

The doctor smiled. “I’m sure you do. But let’s just keep you in until tomorrow, eh? Watch over your poor skull? It took quite a beating.”

“So did the rest of me,” Buck said.

Buck focused on Eddie as the doctor hurried away. “Are you okay?”

Eddie huffed a laugh. “Am I okay? I’m not the one with stitches in my face, Buck.”

Buck grimaced and gingerly tried to explore the wound. Eddie gently took his hand and kissed it. “No, you’re the one who looks hell,” Buck said, curling his fingers around Eddie’s hand with a sigh. “Are you okay?”

“No,” Eddie said. “I’m all stirred up with anger and guilt and relief and a whole bunch of other stuff. Frankly I’m a fucking mess.”

Buck laid his head on Eddie’s shoulder. “Me too,” he whispered. “I was so scared. I thought I’d never see you again.”

“Me too,” Eddie whispered back. “Can you… talk about it? What she did? Why she did it?”

“Her Guide died,” Buck said, closing his eyes. “You know that. I guess everyone’s been trying to help her, but she was freaking out at the thought of another Guide, you know?”

“I’ve seen it before,” Eddie said sombrely.

Buck leaned back and looked Eddie in the eye. “She thinks I’m some kind of a mundane Guide,” he said bluntly, and nodded when Eddie gaped. “She literally said she wanted to bond with me the way I bond with you. I know, it’s crazy.”

“There’s no such thing as a mundane Guide,” Eddie said incredulously. “Even sensitives and latents can’t work as Guides, it just doesn’t work that way. Either someone is a Guide or they’re not.”

“She said she’d been watching us work since the factory explosion,” Buck said, watching Eddie’s face carefully.

Eddie stiffened. “I didn’t sense anything,” he said, trying to recall the work they’d done in the last week.

“She was careful not to let you. She saw us working and thought I was the one keeping you functioning as a Sentinel in the field.”

Eddie shook his head. “I don’t even really use my senses that much in the field,” he said, still shocked. “I mean, I can’t switch them off, they’re there, but unless I’m actively searching for survivors, or substances, or just danger in general, I hardly use my senses when we’re working.”

Buck shrugged and then winced and bit back a groan, resting his bandaged hand on his ribs. “Oh this is gonna suck.”

“For weeks,” Eddie agreed sympathetically. He tilted his head. “They’re coming to take you to X-ray. I’ll go and talk to Maddie and the others while you’re gone. Do you want to see them?”

Buck grimaced again but nodded as an orderly and a nurse arrived. “Maddie will need to see me,” he said quietly as he was freed from various monitors and the orderly started pushing his gurney out. “Take care of her, Eddie, okay? She’ll be really triggered by this. It’s so soon after… Doug.”

“I will,” Eddie called after him, and then just stood as the ER bustled around him, listening to Buck’s heartbeat until he was pushed into a lift and out of his range. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out, reading the message with a slight frown.

“Your mother and I followed Bosko’s ambulance to the hospital. Right now she’s under armed guard, but we’ll stay here until the Guild takes offical custody of her. My contacts tell me that’ll be sooner rather than later. I know we haven’t always had your back, son, but we have it now.”

Something in Eddie relaxed. He was a long way from forgiving or trusting his parents over Chris, but instinctively he trusted his father with this task. If Bosko made a move to escape, his father would be there to stop her.

9-1-1

Eddie emerged from the Emergency Room into the waiting area, already cataloguing the group waiting for him. Maddie and Chim, Hen and Karen, Bobby and Athena. He smelt coffee and heard their quiet conversation as he pushed through the swinging doors.

“Eddie!” Maddie spotted him first and jumped to her feet, rushing towards him. “How is he? Chim said none of his injuries are life threatening?”

Eddie nodded, rubbing at his eyes. “He’s in X-ray now, and they’re keeping him at least 12 hours because he took a few hits to his head.”

Maddie’s already swollen eyes filled with tears and she leaned against Chimney, who had his arm wrapped around her.

“Sit down, Eddie, you look exhausted. “You’ve barely taken a breath in 12 hours, and that was after a 24 hour shift,” Bobby said.

Gratefully Eddie sank down, refusing the offer of a coffee.

“From what I can tell he has at least three fractured ribs, and what I suspect is a distal radius fracture of the right wrist. He had to have two stitches on his right eyebrow, but the rest of his injuries are superficial. He’s swollen and bruised,” Eddie finished, leaning his face in his hands and his elbows on his knees as he registered a soft sob from Maddie.

Eddie felt a careful touch on his back and knew it was a Bobby sitting next to him.

“Bosko is alive and in police custody,” Bobby said quietly. “Once she’s released from the hospital’s care she’ll be sectioned in a secure psychiatric ward, probably under the Guild’s auspices. They have processes for Gifted who suffer mental illness. I thought you’d want to know.”

Eddie nodded his thanks. He didn’t mention that his father had already passed this information along. It was kind of Bobby to understand it would ease Eddie’s mind to know Buck’s kidnapper was safely under lock and key somewhere far away.

“Why did she do it?” Maddie said, and if felt to Eddie as if this was a question she’d already asked a dozen times tonight. “Chim said she was trying to kill him.”

“He couldn’t give her want she wanted,” Eddie said.

Maddie took the seat on his other side and laid a hand on his forearm.

“What did she want?” Maddie asked.

“Him.” Eddie looked up and met her shocked eyes. “She wanted him. She wanted him to give her what she thinks he gives me.”

Maddie shook her head while everyone else sat quietly, listening. “I don’t understand.”

“It seems like some people, Gifted and mundane, think Buck acts as a kind of mundane Guide for me. The Gifted at least should know better, but I’m guessing Bosko hasn’t been thinking clearly for some time.” Eddie looked into Maddie’s confused expression and then up into the reserved faces of Chim, Hen, even Bobby. “You all think that too,” Eddie realised.

“Well, you do seem to rely on him a lot in the field,” Hen said carefully. “He’s always touching you, or you’re touching him.”

“He’s my partner,” Eddie said, wondering if he really was going to be explaining his relationship with Buck their entire lives. “But he’s not my Guide. A Guide has empathic skills they use in a myriad of ways, mostly shields to protect themselves and their Sentinel. There’s a kind of power exchange I can’t even explain, but it’s why bonded pairs are always so much stronger.”

Eddie sighed, looking at the various curious expressions on their faces. How did they not know this?

“It’s simply not possible for Buck or any other mundane to  act as a Guide,” Eddie continued gently. “Buck is a strong, familiar presence I can ground myself on, which makes things easier for me if I’m using my senses on the job. But really anyone on the team could do it. Remember I spoke to all of you about that when I first joined the 118? That I might need to ground myself on any of you in the field? And once Buck and I were partners he was usually the one by my side. But I’ve functioned my entire adult life without a Guide, and if Buck wasn’t here I’d still be functioning.”  Eddie shook his head. “I thought you all understood that.”

“Does Buck understand it?” Maddie said.

“Of course he does.” Eddie sighed. “Buck understands me better than anyone. Any… intimacy you see between is because we are intimate now. Nothing to do with being a Guide and everything to do with the kind of partnership Buck and I have built together.”

“I doubt Bosko was in any state to hear or accept that,” Athena said.

Eddie focused on her and grimaced. “I think I owe you a bunch of apologies,” he said.

Athena eyed him sternly. “Oh you do. But they’ll wait, honey, until you’re not exhausted and stressed.”

“When can we see Buck?” Maddie said, and Eddie relaxed a little at the change of subject. No doubt they’d all have plenty to say about it later between themselves, but Eddie couldn’t find it in him to care.

“When they have him settled in a room, I guess. I don’t know.”

“Why don’t we give Eddie a few minutes of peace,” Bobby suggested. “How about another round of coffee?” Bobby touched Eddie’s shoulder. “Are you sure you don’t want something to drink?”

“I could do with a cookie or a sandwich or something,” Eddie said, because he knew it made Bobby feel better to feed people, and he could smell a vending machine out in the hall. Bobby smiled and patted his shoulder again before heading off with Hen and Chim.

It was odd, Eddie thought. Mostly people didn’t touch him, he was the one who had to reach out. He knew that was out of the respect mundanes were taught from childhood for the Gifted, some of whom could react negatively to touch. But tonight it was if all the usual barriers were down. It felt comforting, but also oddly intrusive.

Eddie closed his eyes for a moment, reaching out with his hearing, but Buck was still on another floor, probably already being X-rayed, and Eddie pulled his senses back, strangely bereft. Maybe he’d exaggerated to Chim a little, claiming to be fine. Maybe he would be a little clingy with Buck for a while. But surely that was understandable after everything that had happened.

Athena sat down next to him and Eddie breathed in her unique scent of deodorant and sweat and the light floral perfumed soap and scent she used. He opened his eyes and shot her a glance. “Hmm?”

“A detective from Major Crimes wants a preliminary statement from Buck,” she murmured. “I asked him to call you in the morning, to see if Buck was up to it. I thought it’d be easier to get it over with here rather than at your home.”

“Thank you,” Eddie said. “Will there be a trial?”

Athena sighed. “At this point, I’d say no. It’ll be up the DA, of course, but in my opinion Bosko isn’t in any fit mental state to make a plea.”

“The Guild will want to keep a lid on the whole thing,” Eddie said grimly. “One bad Gifted reflects on the whole community. You know how that works,” Eddie said.

“Kidnapping and attempted murder won’t just go away though,” Athena said, nodding. She hesitated. “I’m finding I don’t know as much about the Gifted as I thought I did. I’ve honestly never heard of a Sentinel committing a violent crime outside of a feral episode. Is it... unusual?”

“Sentinels are people too,” Eddie said. “Some people think we’re less prone to mental illness than mundanes, but the fact is that latents with mental issues just don’t emerge. Bosko’s issues started when she lost her Guide, and she’s been spiralling ever since. The Guild dropped the ball on aftercare for her, but you can’t force people to accept help if they don’t want it.”

“She saw some kind of parallel between you and her, didn’t she? Because you don’t want a Guide and she was so resistant to even accepting help from another Guide. Bobby explained the situation to me,” she said when Eddie raised a curious brow.

“I don’t know what she saw when she looked at me,” Eddie said. “Her issue with accepting help from Guides was probably guilt – feeling as if she was betraying her dead Guide maybe? It doesn’t matter now, if she’s not already dormant, she will be soon.”

Athena frowned. “You seem very sure of that. Why? Why would her senses go away because she committed a violent crime? How does that work?”

“Her senses were failing before she took Buck. That’s why she took Buck. I guess you could look at it like her own mind protecting her. She’d become mentally unstable, so her senses retreated, and now she’s gone full blown psychotic, they’ll be completely dormant.” He looked at her frowning face, she clearly wasn’t satisfied with the answer.

“Look, no one know why some people with Gifted genes emerge and some don’t,” Eddie said carefully. “Science has yet to explain half the stuff that Sentinels can do, and frankly mostly glosses over a lot of a Guide’s empathic gifts. The really powerful Gifted, like the Alphas, they’ll talk about the Psionic plane, and how we’re all connected, even stuff like spirit animals and shamans and totems.” Eddie shrugged. “I never really got into all that. But an Alpha would tell you that the Gifted emerge when they’re needed, that the Psionic plane… decides, for want of a better word. By the same token, if a Gifted becomes corrupt, the Psionic plane will cut them off. No one know how or why. Honestly? It’s all a little above my pay grade.”

“Huh,” Athena said. “Well I’m not one to deny something just because I don’t understand it. God works in mysterious ways after all, his wonders to perform.” She gripped his forearm and squeezed gently. “And you are a wonder, Eddie. I know I was mad because you rushed into danger and risked your life, when that’s my job.” She chuckled gently when he smiled. “But if you hadn’t, we would have been too late. I don’t have your vision, but I saw what you did. She was seconds from killing him, and I only thank god your father was there to stop you taking her down with that axe and that I’m an excellent shot.”

“I’m grateful for that too,” Eddie confessed. Then he took a deep breath and sniffed. “Oh, roast beef.”

Bobby was approaching with plastic sealed sandwich packets and bottled water, and suddenly realising he hadn’t eaten all day, Eddie fell on the food.

9-1-1

“I’m tired, but don’t want to sleep,” Buck confessed. He looked around the dimly lit private room and sighed. “I know I’m going to have nightmares.”

“We both will,” Eddie said. “Probably for some time. And you know they’re gonna make us go to therapy.”

Buck groaned. “I’ll only go with you,” he announced. “I’m not sitting in another therapists office alone ever again.”

Eddie had heard the story of the now discredited therapist Buck had seen, and since the last thing he needed was to get enraged about Buck being violated by someone in a position of trust all over again, he shoved it out of his mind.

“It was so bizarre,” Buck said sleepily. “Waking up in that horrible little cabin. I’ve never been so scared,” Buck  broke off and frowned, wincing as the stitches over his right eye pulled. “Yes, I was,” he recalled. “I was that scared once before, Eddie,” Buck said, squeezing Eddie’s hand. “I think it saved my life. Huh.”

“Tell me,” Eddie said. He felt like a sponge, absorbing Buck’s presence, soaking up his words, his breaths, the beat of his heart. Around them the hospital bustled, out there was the world that would be full of questions and decisions, at home his son waited, although hopefully so used to their long shifts he wouldn’t be worried yet.

But right now his entire world was focused on Buck, who needed to talk. Buck who had been kidnapped and beaten and almost murdered today, and would need everything Eddie and those who loved him had to give in the days ahead.

“I was on a highway in the middle of nowhere, and I ran out of gas. I hadn’t been on the road long, I was still getting used to planning ahead. Not my forte back then,” Buck said ruefully.

“How old were you?”

“About 19 I think. Still painfully trusting. I was walking back to the town I’d driven through a while earlier, when a guy in a pickup offered me a ride.”

Eddie stroked Buck’s hand, dreading where this was going.

“Well I knew almost the instant the door closed behind me and he drove off that I’d screwed up. Nothing the guy said or did, I just felt…”

“You’re pretty sensitive when it comes to people,” Eddie said when Buck trailed off.

“He had a thermos and offered me coffee, and I knew if I drank it I was dead. I just knew… So I poured a cup, it was still pretty hot, and then I just flung it in his face.” Buck lifted his free hand and tried to scratch his brow.

“Careful,” Eddie said, untangling the IV.

“Stitches are pulling,” Buck grumbled.

“What did you do next? After the coffee?” Eddie wanted to take Buck’s mind off his injuries, and hopefully coax him to sleep. But he also wanted to hear the rest of the story.

“Shoved him over with all my strength and jammed my foot on the brakes. Long legs,” Buck huffed. “Then I bolted, ran into the trees, kept running until I circled back to the road and ran into town.” Buck’s eyes grew distant and Eddie wondered if he was reliving that old terror, running for his life, wondering any moment if the pickup would appear behind him to run him off the road.

“Did you tell anyone what happened?”

“I almost didn’t,” Buck confessed. “But in the end I went to the Sheriff’s office, wondering if I was going to get charged with assaulting some Good Samaritan who was just trying to give me a lift.”

“But they believed you?”

“Long story short, there’d been a series of bodies found along the highway for the last decade. Raped and murdered, with the last thing in their stomachs drugged coffee. The Sheriff and his deputy heard me out, looked at each other, and called the feds. The murders crossed state lines apparently.”

“Jesus, Buck,” Eddie said, genuinely appalled. “Did they catch the guy?”

“My description of him and his pickup eventually led them to him. I was in another state by then, but the Sheriff had my number in case they needed me to testify. They didn’t. The killer blew his brains out when they went to arrest him.”

“Shame he didn’t do that a decade earlier,” Eddie muttered. He wondered what else had happened to Buck all those years alone and travelling. He vowed then and there to find out, even if just for his own sake. His imagination was already going crazy just thinking about it.

“I never told that story to anyone,” Buck confessed. “Even years later when I’d wake up in a cold sweat dreaming about it. But because that happened to me, I took self defence classes.”

Eddie blinked in surprise. “I didn’t know that either.”

“Not a martial art or anything. One of those personal self defence courses where you learn that anything can be a weapon.” Buck looked at Eddie and half smiled. “That’s why I survived long enough today for you to save me.”

“Then thank god,” Eddie breathed, lifting Buck’s hand and kissing it. His heart was still ice cold with the memory of how close it had been. Some part of him would be forever trapped in that moment with Buck seconds from death and him still so far away. There were future nightmares waiting to happen.

Buck closed his eyes and just lay silently for a while. Eddie wondered if it was easier to recall that long ago terror than it was to talk about what happened today.

“Eddie, promise me something.”

“Anything.”

Buck opened his eyes and looked at him. “Don’t blame yourself for Bosko. Nothing she did is your fault.”

Eddie shook his head. “She targeted you because of me,” he began.

“She targeted me because she’s crazy. If it hadn’t been me god knows who it would have been. Some latent maybe? Or a shrink? She was desperate to get her senses back, and just smart enough to know if she went near the Guild they’d see she was spiralling. None of that is your fault.”

Eddie took a deep breath, then another. “I… I may need you to keep telling me that for a while,” he admitted. “My brain knows you’re right, but some part of me knows that this wouldn’t have happened if…”

“If we hadn’t fallen in love?” Buck finished. “I know that lends an intimacy to what we do when we’re working together, but do you really think we’d be any less partners if we were only friends? Because I don’t.”

Eddie absorbed this, recognising the truth in Buck’s words.

“So how far back do you go? Wishing you’d never picked the 118? Wishing you’d never become a firefighter? How many changes would you need to have made back then so I wouldn’t fall under the notice of a loony Sentinel now? Fuck that noise,” Buck said fiercely.

Eddie couldn’t help laughing, although his eyes were full of tears. “You’re right,” he said. He leaned over and kissed Buck carefully on the left side of his brow. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Buck said, and now his eyelashes fluttered and his eyes closed. “Maybe I can sleep for a while.”

“I’ll be right here,” Eddie vowed. Always, he promised himself.

9-1-1

Some time in the early hours of the morning Buck’s heartbeat increased, stirring Eddie out of the half doze that soldiers throughout history have perfected. So he was already standing and leaning over the bed when Buck jerked awake, a wordless cry on his lips.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Eddie said in the soothing tone he used to rock Christopher back to sleep after a bad dream. He gently stroked the sweaty hair back from Buck’s brow, carefully avoiding the bruises. “I’m here, it’s okay.”

Buck blinked at him in the dim light coming through the half open door, eyes bleary with sleep. “Eddie,” he said weakly, then his eyes filled with tears and he was crying, huge, heartbreaking sobs that shook his frame.

Carefully, mindful of the taped ribs and wrist, Eddie half crawled onto the bed and gathered Buck close, rocking and soothing him as he sobbed. “I’m here,” he said, over and over again. “I’ve got you.”

A nurse appeared at the open door, stopping to take in the situation. Eddie met her eyes in the dim light, saw the sympathy on her face, and just nodded silently to her. She nodded back and withdrew, closing the door behind her until it was only just ajar.

Finally Buck’s tears stopped, the great heaving sobs dying to shuddering breaths, and Eddie freed an arm long enough to reach for a tissue. Carefully he wiped under Buck’s swollen eyes, then kissed each lid as it fluttered closed.

“It’s all over, love,” Eddie murmured. “You’re safe, I promise.”

“I want to go home,” Buck said thickly. “Can’t we go home?”

“I’ll take you home as soon as I can,” Eddie said softly. “And it’s our forever home now, together. You me and Chris.” Buck’s breathing began to even out as Eddie murmured his promises in a whisper soft voice.  “Well hunker down for a while, just the three of us. Build a fort in the lounge room and make popcorn and watch silly movies that make Chris laugh and snort soda through his nose.”

Buck’s lips curled up a little at the edges, and Eddie gently kissed his bruised brow as he drifted off to sleep.

When he was settled Eddie trod carefully out into the bright corridor, crossing to the nurses desk a few paces away. He kept his senses fixed on Buck, his steady heartbeat, his breathing, catching now and again at the pain in his ribs even in slumber.

“He okay now?” The nurse asked softly.

Eddie sighed, rubbing his hand over his face. “For now. He’s got a long road to recovery, and I’m not just talking about physically. But Buck’s strong, he’ll get through it.”

“With you to help him, I’m sure he will,” the nurse said. “You know I thought when I saw him that he was familiar, and then when I saw his birthmark I remembered.”

“You remembered?” If the nurse had been 20 years younger Eddie might have worried he was going to have an awkward conversation with one of Buck’s old girlfriends, as it was the nurse just looked kind and concerned.

“It was a few years ago now, he was on the news over some rescues he made in an amusement park,” she said, and sighed. “I remember thinking then he seemed so young to have such huge responsibilities.”

“Buck is very responsible, but he has a youthful heart,” Eddie said, smiling. “You should see him with my eight year old. They enjoy endless activities together because Buck can find the joy in everything.”

“He’ll need that going forward,” the nurse said. “You look like you could do with a hot drink. We have coffee, tea, or hot chocolate.”

Eddie blinked. “Chocolate?” he said hopefully, and she chuckled and patted his hand.

9-1-1

Buck woke groggy and sore, but insisted on using the small bathroom rather than a bottle. Eddie helped him up and while Buck took care of business, Eddie dampened a face washer with warm water. Buck washed his hands at the small basin and took the cloth, staring at himself in the mirror.

This morning his bruises had taken on a livid colour, the swelling around his mouth was puffy and red, and the stark black stitches on his brow stood out against the red of his familiar birthmark.

Wordlessly Eddie took the washcloth back and gently stroked it over the unmarked areas of Buck’s face, feeling the bristle of morning beard on his chin.

“It’ll heal,” Eddie said softly, and Buck leaned against him with a sigh. Eddie nuzzled his ear and held him until Buck had his fill of gazing at his battered face.

The police detective showed up early, after Buck and Eddie had pushed away most of a lacklustre breakfast and accepted a mug of tepid instant coffee instead. Buck was impatiently waiting for a doctor to show up so he could be cleared to go home, and Eddie was half asleep and dreaming of getting horizontal between the crisp clean sheets of their bed. Sadly he knew he still had a long day in front of him before that could happen.

“Maybe we can sneak in a Nana nap?” Buck suggested.

“You’ll be tucked up on the couch for the duration anyway,” Eddie said.

Buck grimaced. “Yeah, good luck with that. Chris sounded okay, didn’t he?”

Eddie had called earlier and carefully told Chris that Buck had been hurt at work, but would be home by the time Chris was finished school. Buck had spoken to him briefly as well, and Chris had seemed reassured.

“I don’t like lying to him,” Eddie said guiltily. “But this is just something I’d rather he never found out about.”

“He’s too little to understand, and it would just frighten him,” Buck agreed, shifting painfully. “Damn I hate broken ribs.”

There was a knock on the open door and they both looked up to see a fortyish man in a dark suit waiting politely for permission to enter. “Mr Buckley? I’m Detective Lou Ransome from Major Crimes. May I come in?”

“Of course,” Buck said, sitting a little straighter in the bed. Eddie helped him as he winced, pulling up a couple of pillows for Buck to brace himself against.

“Thank you,”” Ransome said, stepping inside and nodding to Eddie. “Sentinel Diaz. Sergeant Grant told me that you’d be here. Did you want to stay while I take Mr Buckley’s statement?”

Eddie looked at Buck, who nodded. “I’d like Eddie to stay,” Buck said. “Hopefully I’ll be getting out of here soon. And please, call me Buck.”

“Thank you, Buck. I’m sure you can’t wait to get home, and hopefully I won’t keep you long. What I’d like to do this morning is take notes on your recollection of yesterday, while it’s still fresh in your mind. We can write it all up for you to sign at a later date.”

Buck nodded as the detective sat down. Eddie stayed standing next to Buck at the head of the bed, surveying the detective curiously. The man wasn’t Gifted, but he had a strong presence that Eddie had only seen a few times before.

Ransome seemed to read his expression because he suddenly smiled, softening the rather stern lines of his face. “Yes, Sentinel Diaz, I’m latent. Rather strongly latent as it happens. That’s given me close ties to the Gifted community, while still maintaining my distance. Not to put too fine a point on it, I’m usually the one assigned cases that involve the Gifted, one way or another.”

“Does it make a difference to the case?” Buck asked. “That Bosko is a Sentinel?”

“Not under the law,” Ransome said. “There is no protection for the Gifted from kidnapping and attempted first degree murder, for any reason. However her status seems to play into her motives here, and either way the Guild is already involved.” He looked at his watch. “As of this morning a judge is being asked to sign off on Sentinel Bosko being transferred to a Guild facility in San Francisco. I have no doubt that request by the Guild will be approved, considering the LAPD don’t have the facilities to house a mentally ill Sentinel.”

“The media is going to love this,” Eddie muttered.

“Hopefully we can keep most of it under wraps and not feed that particular beast,” Ransome said wryly. “Yet another reason to move Bosko to a facility in another city as quickly as possible.”

“I know it’ll make me feel better,” Buck said fervently.

Ransome opened the leather case he carried and pulled out a clipboard and pen. “Let’s get this over and done with, shall we? Can you outline for me exactly what you remember from yesterday?”

Eddie held Buck’s good hand while his partner went through the details of the day before, listening to it all put in words for the first time. When he reached the part describing Bosko trying to kiss him, Buck’s hand tightened on his and his voice faltered.

“I don’t even want to call it a kiss,” Buck said with a shudder. “It was more like an attack, a violation. There was no desire in her that I could see, just determination and desperation. That’s when I lost control and slammed my forehead into her face.”

Eddie tilted his head as Buck freed his hand and touched the livid bruise on his forehead. “That’s when I got this.”

“And when you broke her nose, according to the doctor’s report I read last night,” Ransome said dryly. He looked down at his notes. “Do you see that as losing control?” he asked curiously. “I’d view it rather as self defence.”

“I was trying to hold on,” Buck said, reaching for Eddie’s hand again. “I knew Eddie would come for me, and I wanted to keep her talking. But when she…” He shuddered again. “I hit her and just ran.” Buck swallowed hard. “She’d pretty much promised me she’d kill me if I did, but the alternative…”

“She was completely out of control at that stage,” Ransome said sympathetically. “Even if you’d submitted to her, we all know she wouldn’t have – literally couldn’t have – gotten what she needed from you. I can’t imagine her rage at that point. Running was your only logical choice.”

“I guess I know that,” Buck confessed. “It just felt like giving up.” He tilted his head and looked at Eddie. “She was going to kill me, wasn’t she?”

Eddie wished he could lie to Buck the way he’d lied to Chris, to protect him from the truth. But he’d never lied to Buck, and he wasn’t going to start now. Besides, Buck was the one carrying the marks of Bosko’s madness, he’d looked into her eyes, he knew the truth.

“Yes,” Eddie said. “She was going to snap your neck.”

Ransome drew in a deep breath. “Sergeant Grant said as much to me, Sentinel Diaz. We’re going to need a statement from you in the next few days as well, if you will. If you’d like to write up your experience of yesterday, you can bring it in to the station when Buck comes in, and we can go over it together.” Ransome clicked his pen. “Shall we continue?”

9-1-1

“I just want a shower and a nap,” Buck said as Eddie unlocked the front door. As they stepped into the small hallway Buck closed his eyes and breathed in. “It’s so good to be home,” he sighed.

“Let’s get that shower,” Eddie said, pulling out his phone and checking the messages. “Everybody wants to see you, but I’m putting them off until tomorrow,” Eddie said. “Unless you want Maddie to come over tonight?”

Buck grimaced and looked guilty. “Is it terrible that I just want us for a little while? Just shut out the world until we can’t avoid it any more?”

Eddie locked the door behind them and walked Buck down the short hall, one hand in the small of this back. “It’s not terrible at all,” he said reassuringly. “It’s exactly what I want as well. They got a quick peek at you last night, they can wait until tomorrow at least until you’re up for a real visit.”

“We’re gonna need to wrap my wrist and arm,” Buck said, making his way into their bedroom. Boxes and suitcases were stacked against the wall, and Buck just stared at them for a few moments, remembering that he’d been heading to his new home to unpack when Bosko had…

Buck jumped when Eddie touched the small of his back gently. “You with me, love?”

Buck shook the memory off. “I really need that shower,” he said, making a face. “Hospital sponge baths just don’t do it. I swear I still have twigs in my hair.”

“I’ll get plastic and some tape for your arm,” Eddie said, dumping the bag of Buck’s painkillers and antibiotics on the bedside table. “Can you get undressed?”

“I can make a start,” Buck said, and carefully sat on the side of the bed. Their bed, now, although technically it had been his bed before he moved out of his apartment. Eddie’s bed had been fine, but Buck’s was a California King, to accommodate his height, and had an unbelievably expensive orthopaedic mattress he’d invested in with some of his savings when he’d moved into his own place for the first time. Eddie loved it, and had joked it was worth marrying Buck to get access to a mattress he could never have justified buying for himself.

“Buck?” Eddie was crouched down in front of him, cling film and tape clutched in his hands, his face concerned. “Love, are you sure you’re okay?”

Buck realised he’d been sitting day dreaming instead of getting undressed. “My head’s kind of all over the place,” Buck confessed. “I’ll be better after a nap.”

Eddie studied his face a moment or two more, then nodded and reached for the buttons on Buck’s shirt. “Let’s get this shower done then.”

Buck thought he should probably protest being undressed like a child, but in truth it was kind of nice to let Eddie fuss around him, and his head really wasn’t in the game. He felt disconnected and a bit vague as Eddie wrapped his arm in plastic and held it securely with tape, and then swiftly shed his own clothes and led Buck into the bathroom.

The shower was pure pleasure, and Buck leaned against the cool tiles as Eddie soaped his hair and wielded the handheld shower to rinse him off. He sighed as Eddie carefully washed him with the soapy washcloth, stroking it over his back, then washing away the sweat and grime the quick wipe down the hospital the night before couldn’t have hoped to reach. Head down Buck watched the suds swirl over his feet and disappear down the drain, wishing he could cast off this weird, floaty feeling as easily.

By the time they were both dried and dressed in loose sweatpants, Buck was more than ready for that nap. He watched Eddie shake out a matching grey sweatshirt, but stopped his hand as he reached to thread Buck’s wounded arm and wrist into the first sleeve.

“Did I hurt you?” Eddie asked anxiously. Buck shook his head. He was looking down at his own chest, seeing for the first time the bruises and scrapes that marred his smooth chest. With his good hand Buck touched a livid bruise right over his heart, fingers trembling.

Eddie laid a gentle hand over the questing digits. “It’ll heal,” Eddie said gently.

“I know,” Buck said. “But what if I don’t?” He frowned at his own words, wishing he could make it clearer, but as always Eddie understood him.

With a sigh Eddie sat next to him on the bed, Buck’s sweatshirt bundled in his lap. “I’m not going to lie to you,” he said sadly. “You’ll never really be the same person you were before the attack.”

Buck blinked away tears  and twisted to look into his lover’s eyes.

“It changes you on a… visceral level, when another human being tries to kill you. When you have to literally fight for your life. I learned that lesson myself on the dark desert sand.” Eddie took another deep breath. “But that’s not to say the changes can’t be positive, Buck. Yesterday you learned just how strong you are, you found out just exactly how hard you would fight to come home to your family.”

Buck felt a tear slide down his cheek and knuckled his eye with his good hand. “I just want to feel normal again,” he said, blinking fiercely.

“You will,” Eddie said. “I promise. It’ll be a… newer normal. We’re all shaped by our experiences, good or bad. But you’re the strongest person I know, Buck. You will come out of this and be yourself again.”

Buck huffed a rueful laugh. “I’m not that strong,” he said. He rubbed his eyes again. “Not when I keep crying like a baby.”

“Tears are cleansing, believe me. It was a relief to me last night when your bad dream started that storm of tears. Far better to let them wash away the fear and anger than let it build up inside you. I’ve seen what happens to people when they suppress their natural feelings and try to just pretend everything is fine. We both saw it yesterday.”

Buck shivered at the memory, and wordlessly let Eddie help him on with the sweatshirt, carefully threading his wounded arm and wrist through a sleeve and smoothing the warm garment over his chest.

“You really think I’m strong?” he said, as Eddie pulled the covers back and helped Buck lift his legs onto the bed.

“I do. In fact, the two people I love most in the world are the two strongest people I know. You and Christopher.”

Buck considered this as Eddie drew the covers up around him.

“Chris,” Eddie continued. “Because that kid has gone through more than any child his age should go through, yet he still greets every day with a sunny smile and a positive attitude.”

Buck smiled gently at the thought and hummed his agreement.

“And you, Buck,” Eddie said, laying his hand on Buck’s shoulder until Buck met his gaze. “You survived an unloving childhood, being on your own since you were a teenager, and building yourself from the ground up with virtually no help from anyone – and yet you still face the world with joy, and curiosity, and boundless love. That takes a strength I admire with all my heart.”

Dimly Buck realised he was crying again, but it was okay, because Eddie was holding him close again too, and the cleansing tears were a gentle rainstorm inside him, taking some of the horror and shock and washing it away.

9-1-1

Later they built that fort made of sheets in the lounge room, and Eddie made popcorn and they watched silly movies until Chris laughed so hard he snorted soda through his nose.

Buck let their healing love and laughter wash over him, helping him put the past behind them, and looking forward to his new life, in his new home, with the family he’d always wanted, but never really believed would be his.

Eddie helped a giggling Chris mop up, and met Buck’s eyes, and there was the steady light of love in that whiskey brown gaze that had shone upon him since long before Buck had even known what it was.

Buck knew Eddie was right. They would get through this and come out the other side stronger. They had each other, and right now that was all they needed. He helped himself to a handful of popcorn, and felt himself heal a little bit more.

The End