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After Celina had moved in. Lucy had had to spend an ungodly amount of time with Nolan in the mornings before roll call, and his incessant need to tell everyone about his adventures in baby making with Bailey.
Two weeks had never dragged by slower.
So, when she was immediately pulled into Grey’s office as soon as she’d walked out of the locker room that morning, she had never felt so relieved.
Leaving Celina to hear all about last nights bulletin on her own.
“Morning sir.” She smiled, a smile that still held so much pain, and rigidity, but it was a smile, nonetheless.
No one needed to know she was still struggling. Much less Sergeant Grey.
“Morning Officer Chen, sorry for the abrupt start to your shift, I know you’ve been riding patrol on your own but after last nights shift, dispatch is still backed up with calls, mostly domestic, so I would prefer if you didn’t ride alone. Which is why I’m pairing you up with Sergeant Bradford.”
The minute Grey said Tim’s name, her smile dropped so quickly.
“With all due respect sir, I’m more than capable of handling myself. I’d prefer to ride alone.”
Wade looked over at Lucy from where he was sat at his desk, and he watched her straighten up.
“I’m not worried about you not handling yourself Lucy, but I already have four officers who have had to go to the hospital for domestic call related injuries. So, it’s non-negotiable. Sorry.”
Lucy fought the urge to roll her eyes.
She’d gone two weeks without so much as passing Tim in the hallway, and now she had to sit with him in a shop for an entire shift.
Brilliant.
She couldn’t argue with Grey any further, without him getting suspicious that she wasn’t handling things, so she plastered that smile back on her face.
“Does Sergeant Bradford know about this arrangement?”
And then Lucy heard him clear his throat behind her.
Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
“If Officer Chen would prefer, I could ask Smitty sir? He’s been talking about wanting to get out on patrol.”
Lucy turned around and shot Tim a glare that she was certain would go right through him.
Tim’s smirk quickly disappeared, and Lucy turned back to Sergeant Grey.
“This arrangement is fine sir. Thank you.” She walked right past Tim as she left Grey’s office and made a beeline for the break room.
Tugging at the collar of her shirt, trying to figure out why her chest suddenly felt so tight. This was not how she wanted to spend the rest of the day.
Why did Tim suddenly think things were okay between them?
Lucy grabbed a water from the fridge and leant against the kitchenette counter facing the door.
Knowing that Tim would appear in the doorway.
In 3…2…1
“I can ask Grey to put you with someone else if this is going to be an issue for you.” Tim stayed by the door, and Lucy scoffed.
“And who do you propose that I ride with? Smitty? Because that was a low blow, Sergeant. Everyone else is paired up already so clearly, I’ve drawn the short straw here.” Lucy paid attention to the lid of her water bottle in her hands instead of Tim.
“Smitty? I’m confused. Please Lucy, can we talk?” Tim pressed, stepping further into the break room.
“I’m glad you’re confused. And no, I’m not in the mood. I don’t want to talk about this. You know Smitty was making bets on our breakup? Do you know how humiliating that was? Between you and your ex-wife having a secret child and me cheating on you with Aaron amongst many other ridiculous tall tales, I’ve heard quite enough of that betting pool and I don’t want to add anymore fuel to that fire when I barely managed to put it out. So, excuse me if I don’t have anything to say about us inside these walls. And as for riding with you, I’m going to have to suck it up.”
Lucy screwed the lid on her bottle and then walked past Tim. Not giving him a chance to get a word in.
Getting the war bags ready and trying to figure out how she was going to compartmentalise everything for the next 12 hours, was messing with her head.
She should have called in sick.
Or maybe a miracle would happen, and the world would end right before she got to the garage.
But, of course, that would be too easy, because she made it to the garage and the world was still spinning.
So, she loaded up the shop and then sat in the passenger seat, the only thing she was glad about was getting to have a break from driving.
“Listen-” Tim started to speak when he got in the driver's seat, but he didn’t get very far.
“No personal talk in the shop.” Lucy snapped, if she even wanted to survive this shift. Tim was going to have to be professional and so was she.
Without a single word, Tim drove out of the garage and Lucy focused on the screen in front of her, seeing the huge list of domestic calls that they had to run through, she hoped that for once she could just have an easy shift…
Easy? Riding with your ex for 12 hours…oh Lucy.
“The first one is at 4021 Cochran Avenue. Husband made the call; the wife has a list of priors for domestic violence from a previous relationship.”
Lucy reached over to adjust the screen just as Tim went to turn the air conditioning on, and their fingertips brushed against each other’s.
And all Lucy felt was the static of an electric shock as she pulled her hand away.
Lucy spent the rest of the drive looking out the window, her fingers twisting her earring around over and over.
A nervous habit she never had been able to shake.
When they pulled up, Lucy undid her seatbelt and then just as she was about to get out of the car Tim’s hand on her shoulder made her stop.
“What?” She asked, shrugging his hand off.
“The front door is open, and the blind is hanging down, right window. I know you don’t need protecting but can you please let me take the lead on this one?” Tim watched Lucy’s face soften for a moment and he knew that she wasn’t going to argue with him on this one.
“Fine, but I’m not going to hang back. This is the reason why Grey paired us up, so don’t expect me to let you do all the work.” Lucy got out of the shop, making sure that everything was in order on her duty belt.
Even though it was, and there wasn’t any reason why it wouldn’t be. She always checked before going into a call, whether they were prepared for that they would find or if they were going to go in completely blind like right now.
Tim walked into the house first, and Lucy stayed at his six. Even though they weren’t talking, and their relationship was in dire need of some serious attention, Tim knew that he would always be able to count on Lucy having his six. Just as he would always have hers.
From day one he’d made that promise to himself.
“LAPD! Come out with your hands up, and leave any weapons on the floor.” Tim called out.
And Lucy took the opportunity to clear the rooms to the left of the house. Glad that it was a condo, so there wasn’t an upstairs.
“Clear!”
“Clear!”
Tim moved into the kitchen noticing the huge mess, and he watched Lucy move into the kitchen too.
“There are three rooms down the hall, for all we know they left the house, but I don’t think so.” Lucy kept a tight grip on her gun as she walked forward.
“We know we’re here for the allegations against the wife but if the husband is hiding watch out, because he may be relying on his fight or flight. I’ll take the right; you take the left and then we’ll tackle the room at the end of the hall together?” Tim’s whispered tone sent shivers down Lucy’s spine.
Knowing that he was right, and they had no idea what they’d be walking into.
“Be careful.” Lucy spoke out loud, and once she realised, she hadn’t just said that in her head she cringed inwardly.
Not because she hadn’t meant it, of course she meant it. There wasn’t a universe where she would want Tim to get hurt. No matter what they were going through.
“You too.” He replied, trying not to let her words spark hope in his chest.
Lucy pushed down the door handle, and she barely registered Tim’s call of ‘clear’ because she was face to face with the wife who not only had a weapon, but she had the upper hand.
And she barrelled into Lucy getting one mistimed punch in before knocking her off her feet and she slammed her head against the ground.
The woman had thrown the kitchen knife, and was now trying to get her gun, and Lucy kept a tight grip on it, ignoring the dizziness from the way her head had hit the floor, and not even reacting to the sting of the woman’s nails against her cheek.
But it was all over when Tim tackled the woman and Lucy stayed laying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling watching the stars invade her vision.
Her chest rising and falling rapidly as she came to her senses and began to feel the pain in her cheek and with her lip and head.
She turned her head to see Tim handcuffing the woman, just as the bedroom door at the end opened and the husband walked out carrying a young girl.
“Tim…Tim!” She got his attention and pointed at the husband who he clearly hadn’t noticed.
Tim’s heart was pulling him towards helping Lucy, but when he looked up and saw the husband, with bruises all over, and a young girl of maybe 6 or 7 years of age he knew he had to make sure they were okay first.
“Are you okay?” Tim turned around for a second, looking at Lucy’s split lip, and the small blood trails on her cheek from the scratch marks. She seemed a little out of it but not seriously injured.
“Yes. I’m fine, go and handle the situation Tim.” Lucy tried to be forceful, but she couldn’t, she was just glad that Tim nodded and turned to walk down the hall.
“Sir, do you have any weapons?” Tim approached as cautiously as possible, but he kept his gun safely in his holster, so he didn’t scare the young girl too much.
“No, I don’t. Are you going to arrest my wife?” He kept glancing at the woman on the floor all whilst shielding who Tim presumed was his daughter from the scene.
“Yes, I understand that this is a distressing situation, and I can see that you have your daughter with you? So, if you would feel more comfortable and safer, you can go back in the bedroom for the moment?” Tim’s hand was already reaching for his radio to call for back up, and potentially an RA for Lucy.
“Thank you, Officer, yes this is my daughter Lucy, but she’s from my previous marriage. So, she has no relation to my wife.” The man stepped back into the bedroom.
“Okay, give me a minute to call for back up and check on my colleague and then I’ll be with you to discuss the procedure. Have you sustained any serious injuries sir?”
“No, just a few bruises. Nothing serious.” The husband walked back into the bedroom and Tim pulled out his radio.
“Dispatch, this is 7-Adam-19 requesting back up for transport of a suspect to the station. Stand by for whether or not I need an RA at this location.” He holstered his radio and then walked back over to Lucy, glad that the wife seemed to have accepted her fate and wasn’t struggling with her restraints anymore.
Tim knelt down beside Lucy and gently tapped her cheek.
“Mhmm? Is the husband okay? The little girl?” Lucy groaned when she tried to sit up, and Tim gently pushed her back down.
“The husband and daughter are fine. Back up is on the way. Did you hit your head? Are you in a lot of pain? Because I will call an RA Lucy.”
Lucy scowled, but she let her tense expression fall when she saw Tim’s genuinely worried face.
“I hit my head but not hard. I’m in a little bit of pain but not enough to call an RA or warrant a hospital visit. I’m more uncomfortable laid on the floor so if you wouldn’t mind Sergeant Bradford, I could use a hand.” Lucy extended her hand, and Tim gently took it, letting his other hand rest on the small of her back to help her stand up properly.
And Lucy kept hold of his hand as she steadied herself and she didn’t let go until the room stopped spinning.
“You take the wife away from this hallway, I’m just going to clean up the mess she made,” Lucy gestured to her lip and cheek, “and then I’ll go and sit with the husband and his daughter.”
“Fine but if you feel nauseous or you start to not feel good radio me. I mean it Lucy.”
Lucy nodded then sidestepped past Tim and the wife and went into the bathroom.
Cleaning her lip and her cheek, so she didn’t look quite so alarming. And then she redid her bun which had been pulled out and checked that she hadn’t actually sustained any actual damage to her head.
Thankfully she hadn’t, but she had a feeling she’d be sore tomorrow.
Once she felt a little bit more put together, she moved into the back bedroom, knocking on the open door to make her presence known.
“Hi, my name’s Officer Lucy Chen. Is it okay if I come in and sit with you?” She directed her question to the husband but offered a gentle smile to the young girl when she turned to look at her.
She whispered something to her dad, and Lucy waited wondering if she was going to say something.
“Sorry, she’s a little shy. But she says she likes your name, and that it’s pretty. Her name’s Lucy too. And I’m Gerry.”
Lucy smiled, “is it okay if I sit down?”
She gestured to the vanity stool, and when Gerry nodded Lucy took a seat.
“Well, hi Lucy, I think we both have a pretty great name, don’t you?” The little girl smiled at her, and Lucy smiled back.
“So, Gerry, I’m not sure how much my partner told you, but we’ll take your wife to the station and hold her until we can get you to the station to give a statement, if you want to press charges. Is there anyone who can watch Lucy whilst you get things sorted out?”
Lucy kept her knee from bouncing up and down as she tried to settle the anxiety she was feeling.
“My mom can, and I do want to press charges. I’ve let her get away with this for far too long…and my priority needs to be Lucy now. Is there a likelihood that she can get out of the charges? I’ve reported her a few times, and I’ve been to the hospital before for injuries. She’s never laid a hand on Lucy, but I’m scared she will one day. Normally she sweet talks the officers, but she’s never done anything this drastic.”
Gerry cradled his daughter closer to him.
And all Lucy could feel was empathy and compassion towards him. She knew far too often how many times husbands and boyfriends didn’t speak out about situations like these.
“Well alongside the charges of domestic violence and abuse, she’ll have assaulting an officer to her charge list. So, she’ll face repercussions for both of those crimes. And we have support at the station for you, and I can recommend a good lawyer who will be able to see you and your daughter through this process.” Lucy stood up just as Tim came walking back down the hall.
“Thank you, officer Chen, I really appreciate it.”
“Thanks Officer Lucy.” Little Lucy’s voice called out to her, and she smiled.
“You’re welcome sweetheart,” she waved before she stepped out into the hall with Tim.
“The wife is on her way to the station, what’s the situation with the husband?” He rested his hands on his duty belt and waited for Lucy’s response.
“He wants to press charges and I just explained the general procedure to him. His mom can look after his daughter. Do you mind finishing up? I really need to go and get some air.” Lucy didn’t feel sick, but she was a little dizzy and it was extremely warm and stuffy in the house.
“Go ahead, I’ll be right behind you.”
Lucy nodded and walked out of the hallway, and she didn’t stop until she’d reached the shop, opening the passenger side door and getting inside.
Gently sipping her water from earlier.
Maybe five minutes or so later, Lucy watched Tim walk out of the house, closing the door behind him.
And she shook off the tiredness and got out of the shop, “all sorted?”
“Yeah, all sorted. Will you let me take you to the hospital or are you going to be stubborn?” Tim raised his eyebrows, and Lucy just rolled her eyes.
“No. I’m fine, now can we please get back to it? If you’re going to keep babying me, then I’ll ask to ride with someone else.”
And Tim watched her build her walls back up right in front of him.
Just when he thought they were getting somewhere.
“Fine. Let’s get going so we can try and make a dent in this list.” Tim returned the cold shoulder, and went to get in the shop, even though he felt instant regret.
He didn’t want things to be like this, but Lucy wasn’t going to budge, and he didn’t know what else he could do.
He wanted to talk.
And she did not.
Lucy had barely put her seatbelt on when the radio crackled to life.
“This is dispatch, 7-Adam-19 can you respond to an ongoing domestic dispute call, we’ve bumped it up to the top of your list, and the address has been sent to your box.”
Tim looked over at Lucy, who was looking at him, bloody lip and cuts on her cheek, and he desperately wanted to decline but he knew that Lucy would dispute his request.
So, he reached for the radio, “this is 7-Adam-19, attach us to the call. We’re code 4 at 4021 Cochran Avenue.”
Lucy looked out the window and closed her eyes for a second, fighting the urge to rest her forehead against the cool glass of the window.
When they eventually arrived at the apartment complex where the call had come from, Lucy toyed with sitting this one out. Her head was pounding, and she was regretting her decision to not get checked out, but she finished the last of her water and got out of the shop.
“Stairs or elevator?” Tim questioned, and Lucy threw him a look over her shoulder, silently communicating with him.
Elevator it was then.
Lucy reached forward to press the button at the same time as Tim, and she dropped her hand before they could even touch for a second, her heart was racing, and she didn’t know how much more close contact she could handle with Tim today.
They were barely two hours into their shift, and she had already been floored by a borderline psychotic woman, punched and scratched, and she was certain she had come close to having a concussion, and she’d lost count the amount of awkward contact she’d had with Tim outside of the necessary physical contact.
End of shift could not come soon enough.
“What floor?” Lucy questioned when they got in, moving to the button panel. Trying not to focus on just how damn small the elevator actually was.
Even years later, she still couldn’t handle small spaces. No amount of therapy was going to change that.
“Fourth, I think.” Tim could see how tense Lucy’s shoulders were and he was fighting every instinct to reach out and let her know he was there.
Lucy pressed the button and then stepped back, making sure she wasn’t standing too close to Tim, hoping that this call wouldn’t end in any more trouble.
She focused on the numbers changing as they passed each floor, and then she felt the elevator jolt a little more violently when they reached the fourth floor.
And immediately she started to panic without even realising.
Lucy pressed the open-door button and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Until she was certain they were stuck, and that’s when her brain went into overdrive, but she stepped back, “you try, I might be having bad luck today.”
It was better than nothing and Lucy needed to move, because she was already getting warm, and her chest was getting tighter.
As soon as Tim pressed the open-door button, and nothing happened, he immediately turned to look at Lucy who was staring right at him. He hoped that his face didn’t give away how anxious he was feeling as he turned back to the button panel and tried again.
Lucy hated confined spaces. She had done since Caleb. And despite the fact that they weren’t together, Tim could still feel the weight on his chest, as if he was still able to feel Lucy’s emotions too.
“I think we are stuck.” He finally spoke, confirming her suspicions, keeping his voice as level as possible so he didn’t panic Lucy any further.
“So, press the assistance button.” Lucy replied, with a sharper tone than she intended. But the elevator was already small, and the longer she stared at the metal walls surrounding them the more she could feel them closing in.
You’re not in that barrel Lucy.
You’re safe.
It’s just a faulty elevator.
It’s just a bad shift, not the end of the world.
Just breathe.
Tim watched on from his corner as Lucy closed her eyes and he knew that her steady resolve was unravelling.
Yet there was nothing he could do. He couldn’t reach out and hold her hand and ground her.
He’d lost that privilege over a month ago now.
And he hadn’t even had the courage to fix things.
Despite the therapy he had thrown himself into.
Despite the fact that he was healing.
He still wasn’t the man that Lucy deserved.
“Are you going to press that assistance button Sergeant Bradford?” Lucy opened her eyes, pressing herself against the corner of the elevator as she watched Tim.
Tim pushed it in.
And when it didn’t even click, he let out a loud huff.
“It’s broken. Look, our radios aren’t going to work in here, you know that. So, we just have to wait twenty minutes or so and when we miss the half hour check in, they’ll send someone out to look for us.”
Tim laid out the situation knowing that Lucy would be able to think clearer if she had a plan to go over in her head.
Lucy bit down on the inside of her cheek, but she fought the urge to push past Tim and press the button herself, she wanted to stay as far away from him as possible.
Well, to the best degree that she could in a 4ft by 5ft confined space.
So, she sunk down to the floor and leant her head back against the cool metal of the back of the elevator.
Tim gave her a confused look, and she shot back with a slight scowl.
“What? Backup will be a while, I’m not standing up for the whole duration, we can’t solve crime in an elevator and it’s not as if anyone is going to be able to join us, but if you want to get leg cramp be my guest.” She was still feeling a little bit dizzy which was primarily the reason she’d sat down, but she wasn’t about to tell Tim that.
Her health was none of his concern anymore.
She pulled her phone out of her pocket and rolled her eyes seeing that she had no service, even though she didn’t know what she was expecting in this shitty elevator.
Tim was pacing back and forth, and the more Lucy felt his movements and kept catching him out of the corner of her eye the more agitated she got.
“Will you sit down…please! You’re making me nervous and dizzy.” Even shoving her head in between her legs wasn’t helping.
“Sorry.” Tim sat down in the opposite corner to Lucy, by the button panel just in case by some miracle the assistance button started to work.
He kept trying not to look at Lucy, but the more worked up she was getting the more helpless he became.
The more he wanted to move across the floor and sit beside her. Fighting the muscle memory that was screaming at him to comfort her.
“I suppose you’re not in the mood for small talk?” He merely opened up a line of communication, but it was almost as if Lucy hadn’t heard him because she didn’t respond.
On top of being stuck in an elevator, Tim still wasn’t convinced that Lucy was completely okay after their first call.
“I’m not in the mood for anything Tim. Don’t take it personally.” Lucy leant her head to the side and watched Tim’s gaze find her.
“I wish we weren’t stuck in here, but maybe it’s a good thing? Maybe we can take this time to talk…”
If looks could kill…
Tim would be dead.
“And you came to that conclusion how? Firstly, it’s not a good thing. I’m glad you’re enjoying this but I’m certainly not. And secondly, out of all the time, and all the opportunities you had to approach me, you’ve decided that we should hash out our feelings over our broken relationship in an elevator? A broken down one at that. God, I wouldn’t be surprised if you planned this…” Lucy mumbled the last part, but they were too close to one another for her words to get lost in the air.
“Yes Lucy, I planned this. I took your one phobia, the one part of your deep-rooted trauma that I know you won’t ever be able to recover from, and I’m using it against you? Do you honestly think that low of me?” This time it was Tim’s turn to scoff at the ridiculousness of Lucy’s words.
Lucy stood up, and tugged her hair out of her bun, raking her hands through the wavy, slightly knotted strands.
Doing exactly what she’d asked Tim not to do. As she started pacing back and forth.
“I don’t know Tim! You walked away from me, from us. You betrayed my trust, and you broke my heart. Right now, I wouldn’t put anything past you. I thought we meant more than that, I’m not saying that I don’t understand why you walked away…but you never gave me a chance to say what I wanted to say. There are two people in this relationship and it’s like you forgot that.”
Nothing was going to calm her down and she knew that.
Tim couldn’t help and she sure as hell couldn’t help herself. The only thing that would help was getting the hell out of this elevator.
“So why don’t we talk? Now. No interruptions, just us two.” Tim was grasping at the final bit of patience he had as he watched Lucy pace. But he couldn’t ask her to stop in the way she had because he knew that she wasn’t coping with being trapped in here and if pacing helped then so be it.
“I can barely breathe Tim, every time I close my eyes, I’m back in that barrel…so please, please can we just table this conversation for when we’re not trapped in here.” Lucy hoped that Tim would at least listen to her and drop it for now.
This wasn’t the time or the place.
Tim stood up, brushing his sweaty palms against the back of his pants, and he folded his arms as he leant against the corner of the elevator. Lucy was still pacing. And he couldn’t do a single thing to quiet her racing mind.
“Will you at least sit down again? You’re only going to work yourself up even more if you keep pacing.”
Tim was talking sense, but she didn’t want to listen. At all.
“I’ll pass. If we don’t get out of here soon, I’m going to lose it.” Lucy had to tuck her hands behind her head to stop from pinching at her skin so she could feel something other than the complete and utter overwhelming panic.
Just as Lucy reached her breaking point, far too anxious from pacing back and forth, she lurched forward to move Tim out of the way and press the assistance button herself.
Her phone buzzed but she ignored it, figuring that it couldn’t be that important if they had no service. But she didn’t quite register that Tim’s phone had buzzed at the exact same time.
“Lucy. Just stop for a second.” Tim tried to get her to at least focus on him as he looked down at the alert displayed on his phone.
“No, I’m good thanks.” She shrugged him off with no regard for what he had to say.
Before she could press it more than three times, the ground underneath her feet started shaking, and she thought that maybe someone had gotten the elevator to work.
Until the cold realisation washed over her.
The buzz of her phone had been an alert.
Informing them that they were about to be hit with an earthquake.
And then the elevator groaned, and Tim’s hands were around her waist as he pulled her into him.
“Don’t argue. Just stay in this corner with me. I’ve got you.”
Lucy stiffened but she let Tim hold her, and she buried her head into his shoulder, holding on for dear life when the elevator dropped.
Letting out a strangled scream in response, which only made Tim hold her tighter.
It started shaking violently and it would drop a little more every few seconds and all Lucy could do was grip Tim’s jacket in her hands, and let him shield her, keeping them tucked into the corner.
The whole thing lasted for about three minutes.
It didn’t drop too far, but Lucy could feel the panic completely engulf her even after the earthquake was over.
“Luce, hey. It’s over. Come on, sit down.” Tim could feel Lucy’s chest heaving against his own, and he knew that she’d zoned out. She was still holding onto him, and she’d grabbed his arm at some point, and she was digging her nails into his skin through his jacket.
When Lucy finally came out of the trance, realising she was trapped in Tim’s arms she stepped back, until her back hit the other side of the elevator almost immediately.
And then she was panicking again.
Tim wanted to move closer to her, but Lucy shook her head.
“No, no. Stay there, I don’t want you. I want to get out of here…we’re trapped in here. Fuck…fuck.”
Every time she breathed in, she forgot to breathe out, and the more she panicked the more lightheaded she got.
Her heart was pounding as she struggled to remove her jacket and undo the buttons on her shirt. Trying to eliminate the feeling of suffocation.
“Let me help, please.” Tim took a tentative step forward but when Lucy recoiled from him, he stopped.
Seeing her chest rise and fall so rapidly, her hand clutching at the fabric of her t-shirt, and knowing he was helpless in this situation…it broke him inside.
“I. Want. To. Get. Out. Of. Here.” Lucy pushed out through gritted teeth, not even having the emotional capacity to feel embarrassed about how quickly she’d lost her cool demeanour.
It wasn’t as if she’d ever been stuck in an elevator before.
The worst place had been that walk-in freezer, but she’d been distracted then.
Her and Tim hadn’t even been together to have consequently broken up.
There wasn’t nearly as much weighing on her mind.
“Lucy, Lucy listen…” and then that didn’t work Tim had to raise his voice to stop Lucy from pacing frantically, “Officer Chen,” and when he addressed her formally, she stopped in her tracks.
Progress.
“Come here. Come here to me, and we’ll work through this together. Put everything else aside for now, please Lu, and let me be there for you.” Tim sunk down onto the floor, and he held out his hand, watching Lucy’s chest still heaving.
She didn’t want to say no. She wanted to let Tim help her, but she didn’t want to let herself get comfortable again, she couldn’t sit in his arms and let him hold her and then get out of this elevator and have them be back to square one.
But when the stars invaded her vision and the unmistakable urge to throw up started to rise, she walked over to Tim.
“Okay…okay.” She whispered, choking back a sob.
Her legs almost gave way and she nearly fell to the floor, but Tim steadied her, and she let him help her sit down so she had her back to him, and she was sat in between his legs.
His chest was pressed against her back, and she could feel his heartbeat, and when she felt his hands on her thighs, she took hold of them, as tightly as possible.
“We’ve worked through a panic attack hundreds of times Lu; I know you’ve got this.” Tim gently let his chin rest on Lucy’s shoulder so he could talk quietly in her ear.
Her head was bowed, but she could hear everything that Tim was saying. And she kept her gaze focused on one point on the floor knowing that if she didn’t her head would start spinning again.
“What if, what if the elevator keeps falling? Or there’s an aftershock? What if-” all her progress of calming down was gone when she let herself get carried away again, but when she felt Tim move his right hand and lay it on her chest she tried to stop panicking, and she laid her hand right on top of his.
“We’re safe. We’ll be fine, it’s okay. Can you focus on breathing slowly, in and out. Would it help if you breathed with me, or would that just be too much?”
Tim took his time; he didn’t want to rush Lucy.
From past experiences, and Tim wished there weren’t so many, she would only properly be able to calm down when she felt safe enough. When she knew that she had full control.
“I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere. You tell me if you need space-”
A sharp breath in.
“No! No, don’t move…don’t leave me alone.”
Lucy clung onto Tim’s hand as if he’d just uttered some magic words and he was about to disappear leaving her in the elevator all alone.
“Hey, hey. I can’t leave, and even if I could I wouldn’t. I know this isn’t the time or the place and I know you don’t want to talk about this Lucy but I’m not leaving you, ever again. And I’m not just saying that, but I’ll prove it to you over and over again even after we’re out of this damn elevator. I will never leave you again.” Tim felt Lucy stiffen in his arms for a brief moment, but then she leaned back, letting her head lay on his chest he tentatively moved a strand of hair away from her temple and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.
Lucy didn’t know what to say, so she didn’t say anything. But she hoped at some point she’d find the words to say something.
Calming down after that, took a while but eventually Tim could feel Lucy’s heart beating at a normal rhythm.
And when she shifted out of his arms and sat beside him, he didn’t say anything, he couldn’t blame her.
It was getting hotter in here and Tim had shed his jacket and was working on undoing his shirt buttons.
Tim made it to be 2 hours almost since they’d been stuck in the elevator, but he knew that even if they’d been found to miss their check in, the earthquake would have pulled resources every which way. He just hoped that it wouldn’t be too much longer.
He wanted out just as much as Lucy, and he wasn’t confident that the oxygen levels were going to be enough for them to be stuck in the elevator for longer than 4/5 hours.
Especially with Lucy’s panicking.
Lucy let her hand sit beside Tim’s, she was far too hot and bothered to stay in his arms the way she had been, and it wasn’t fair for her to smother him.
Their hands touching would have to do.
Their hands touching, was less physical contact to miss…when this was all over.
After their hands lingered beside each other for a little too long, Lucy finally put some distance between them.
Her breathing began to quicken again, and she still couldn’t picture the walls not closing in on them, on her, but at least she wasn’t gasping for air anymore. She had Tim to thank for that.
The only thought that seeped in though, was about how much oxygen they did have left in the elevator. And she consciously tried to slow her breathing to a steadier pace.
Tim watched Lucy move away from him out of the corner of his eye, but he didn’t say anything, he didn’t dare disturb the heavy blanket of silence that had filled the atmosphere.
He didn’t know if he even had the right words to convey how sorry he was. How he still cared. How important Lucy had been to him, how she still was.
Lucy didn’t have to believe a single thing he’d said up to now, or anything he said next. He had a lot of work to do to build up that trust with her again.
He wanted to though.
But as he rooted around in his pocket, he pulled out his notepad and the ridiculously small pen it came with.
And he wrote something down.
Sliding the folded piece of paper over to Lucy. Their fingers brushing, just barely, before he took his hand back.
Lucy looked from the note, to Tim, and she was glad that in the dim light he could hardly see the look of confusion mixed with disdain on her face.
Her patience was running low, but she hated that she was taking it all out on Tim, but he was literally the only person she could take it out on.
She opened up the piece of paper and read the messy scrawl of Tim’s handwriting.
“Are we seven years old? Passing notes in class and risking getting caught by the teacher? This hardly seems like an appropriate use of our time Tim.” Lucy huffed, putting up her guard again, pushing the unfolded paper back over to Tim.
All she wanted to do was get the hell out of here and go home. Where she was safe. Where she was alone.
Because to her being alone right now was better than being stuck in a confined space, in the unknown, with her ex.
This whole experience had been so overwhelming, and she couldn’t wait for today to be over.
But eventually, she broke. Tim’s words from earlier invading her mind. They were playing over and over on repeat, and she couldn’t ignore them any longer.
“Did you mean what you said…” Lucy mumbled, turned her head to look at Tim. Moving a few strands of her hair that had stuck to her forehead.
“All of it. I know that you probably don’t believe me, and I understand that. It’ll take more than me saying it for it to mean something. But I want it to mean something. Because you mean everything to me. I was fucking stupid for letting you go Lucy; I can’t sit here and pretend that I wouldn’t still have made the choice to walk away because the last thing I wanted was for our relationship to become toxic. But I wish I’d have gone about it differently.”
Lucy knew that Tim was being truthful, she knew that he’d never lie to her, not anymore, not after the shit show they’d both been involved in with Tim lying to her over and over.
She just didn’t have the strength to figure out how to respond properly.
Her head was still pounding, and she knew that the panic attack wouldn’t have helped. But leaning against the wall of the elevator was uncomfortable, she wished she had the courage to ask Tim if she could lean her head on his shoulder.
But putting distance between them was all she could think of doing, to make things as uncomplicated as possible. Which was a stupid excuse.
Tim could see Lucy getting tired, but he was cautious about letting her fall asleep. He still wasn’t convinced she didn’t have a mild concussion.
But he folded up his jacket and gently tapped her knee.
“Here, move your head. That can’t be comfortable.”
Lucy looked at Tim’s folded up jacket, and she lifted her head up, letting him put it in between her head and the elevator wall.
And at least that felt a little bit better, “thanks, and Tim?”
He sat back in the corner, his hand close to touching Lucy’s leg.
“Yeah?” He caught her tired gaze.
“After we get out of this hell hole, if you still want to talk…then I think we should. I might need some time but if you can prove to me that you’re willing to put the work in, that you won’t just up and leave. Maybe there is hope for us.” It was an answer, at least, it was progress no matter how small.
Slow progress was better than no progress.
In the long run, she wondered if maybe they could laugh about this, one day, but Lucy knew that she would have a lot to deal with in the aftermath of this shitty situation.
Laughing about it would take time.
Everything would take time.
Fixing their relationship. Getting back to a good place. She just hoped that after today, they could start.
“That’s all I need. I’ll wait for as long as you need.” Tim watched Lucy close her eyes, and he knew that he wouldn’t stop looking at her, at her chest rising and falling, just to make sure that she was okay.
<*>
—/an hour and a half later/—
Lucy had barely managed to calm herself down again when the entire elevator jolted, and she reached out for Tim’s hand without thinking.
Tim’s jacket that had been cushioning her head as she rested it against the wall of the elevator, fell when she moved.
And only when his hand enveloped hers, did she feel safe.
“That’ll be the firefighters Luce, they’ll be opening the doors. It’s okay.” He spoke softly to reassure her.
But Lucy wouldn’t believe it until she was actually face to face with the LAFD, and she wouldn’t be able to relax until her feet were on solid ground.
Tim had been right, and she watched the doors open a few minutes later, having not quite stopped at the next floor, only half of the opening was visible but at least it was a big enough gap to get them out.
Lucy however did not expect to see Emmett Lang’s face looking at her.
“All good down there lovebirds?”
And that was exactly what Lucy was afraid of. Clearly news of their breakup hadn’t quite spread to the fire department.
“Not the time Emmett.” Lucy grumbled, snatching her hand away from Tim’s as she stood up, her legs shaking as she walked forward, passing her duty belt up.
“So, you’re telling me you didn’t utilise this alone time together? Stuck in an elevator, what an opportunity.” His wink, followed by a smug grin only pissed Lucy off further. It wasn’t his fault, but she had barely managed to quiet her racing mind and now it was all a huge mess and all the mixed-up emotions returned.
“For your information, Lang, we’re not together anymore. So, keep your inappropriate comments to yourself and do your job.” Tim’s sharp tone made Emmett stop completely.
And Lucy let out a shaky breath as she gave Emmett her hands and let him help her out of the elevator.
Seeing Bailey and Sergeant Grey standing off to the side gave her some comfort.
“Lucy I’m sorry-”
She waved him off, taking her duty belt from him, “forget it, it’s fine. Thanks for the rescue. Just get Sergeant Bradford out of there before the whole elevator goes down.”
Lucy walked over to the small seating area and barely managed to make it to one of the chairs before she collapsed.
“How are you doing?” Bailey sunk down into the chair beside her, and Lucy tried her best to keep her emotions in check, but as soon as Bailey gently touched her shoulder she broke down.
And she didn’t fight when Bailey pulled her in for a hug.
“It’s alright you’re safe now.” Bailey whispered wrapping Lucy up in a hug, knowing that being trapped after what she’d been through would have made even the strongest people crack.
Once Tim was out of the elevator, he walked over to Grey, knowing that Lucy would need space.
Even though his heart was split in two hearing her sobs.
“Are you alright son? Sorry it took us a while to get to you, the earthquake caused so much chaos.”
Tim shrugged, “better than Lucy…she freaked out in there after the elevator dropped. I’ve never hated being a confined space as much as I did today. How far did the elevator drop?”
Grey gently squeezed Tim’s shoulder, waving Carmichael over to give him the once over.
“One floor. The earthquake messed with the suspension system, but there was no risk of it falling any further thankfully, now I’m going to clear things up with the LAFD, and check on Lucy, you are going to let Carmichael check you out. No arguments.” Grey meant what he said, and Tim knew better than to dispute his words.
But just before he walked away, he started talking, “Lucy may have a possible concussion from the call we attended before this one. Could you ask Bailey to get her checked out at the hospital? The fluctuating oxygen levels in the elevator and her panic attack wouldn’t have done her any favours.”
Tim knew Lucy wouldn’t listen to him, but she would listen to Grey.
“I’ll make sure she goes. Don’t worry.” Grey walked over to Lucy and Tim turned to Carmichael, not really paying attention to anything but Lucy.
Her crying echoing through the hallway made his own heart rate go up.
It made him think about how much worse he’d possibly made everything.
On one hand he was glad he’d been there.
On the other, he knew Lucy didn’t feel the same.
Grey couldn’t imagine how many memories being trapped would have brought up, but he was glad Bailey was doing a decent job at comforting Lucy when he walked over.
He sat down slowly and reached out to gently rest his hand on Lucy’s shoulder, “Tim informed me that you might have a concussion from the domestic call you answered earlier, so I’m not taking no for an answer. You’re going to get checked over at the hospital, okay?”
Lucy tried to stop crying, wanting to argue, but she knew it would be futile.
“Okay.” She nodded, moving out of Bailey’s arms, deep down, part of her wished Tim was the one holding her instead.
“Do you want Tim to come?” Bailey questioned.
And Lucy almost said yes. Her eyes were trained on him as he got checked out by Carmichael.
But she looked back at Bailey, “no. I don’t want him to come. Can we go wait in the ambulance I need to get the hell out of this building.”
Bailey nodded, “tell Carmichael I’ll be downstairs.”
Grey watched both women leave, and he stood up, looking at the mess of the elevator.
It had been a long time since any of his officers had gotten trapped in an elevator.
But he couldn’t think of a worse scenario for Tim and Lucy to have been stuck in.
Especially since he knew tensions between them were so high, and clearly, they still were.
All he wanted. Was for both of them to figure things out sooner rather than later, because it was understandably weighing heavily on them both.
And Wade just wanted them both to find some peace.
<*>
Lucy hadn’t wanted to go back to the station after being at the hospital, but she’d left a lot of stuff in her locker and she’d been given a couple of days off to process everything, so it just made sense to go back tonight so she could relax.
At least she didn’t have a concussion, but she still needed to take it easy. Which she wasn’t going to complain about.
Lucy wanted to seek Tim out, that part of her who had believed every single thing he’d said, the part of her that was still in love with him, wanted to take control.
But she couldn’t.
Today had already been too much.
She didn’t mean to play the ridiculous game of hot and cold, but everything was such a mess, and she really just wanted everything to be okay again.
And that would take time. For her.
And patience and healing for Tim.
Lucy thought that she’d at least managed to escape without having to initiate an awkward conversation with Tim, or anyone for that matter, but she’d barely managed to make it ten feet from the exit when she heard him.
“Wait up!” Tim called out to her as she walked out of the station.
And she didn’t turn around.
She had nothing to say to him right now.
Their ordeal today didn’t fix anything, how could it, and Tim was naïve if he thought it would. If he thought spending 3 hours trapped an elevator had that power.
Lucy couldn’t trust that Tim hadn’t just been saying what she wanted to hear. And she hated that they’d ended up at that point.
She had almost made it to her car, but she wasn’t quick enough, and Tim had reached her.
He grabbed her arm, and she yanked it away.
Spinning around to face him.
“Do you mind? I want to go home and forget that today ever happened.” Lucy couldn’t even bring herself to feel bad at the pain on Tim’s face. At least outwardly. But inwardly it broke her heart.
“I thought we could talk?” Tim whispered, but he could feel the hope he’d been given in the elevator slip away.
Lucy shrugged, “why? Because we got stuck in an elevator, went through an earthquake, and had a borderline near death experience. Because I held your hand a few times? That does not erase the past Tim, and I’m not ready to talk about things, I’m sorry.”
Lucy took a step back.
Regretting every single word she said.
But pushing Tim away, was the only way she could think to protect herself.
And this time, as she walked in the direction of her car, she realised that she had just done the exact same thing as he had.
Maybe not on such a large, painful scale.
But she’d left him in that damn parking lot.
And she barely made it out of there before she started to cry.
<*>
—/a couple of hours later/—
Tim had gone through every possible reason as to why turning up the Lucy’s apartment at nearly 9pm at night, after today, was a bad idea.
He’d sat in his truck for half an hour and had almost driven home. So many times.
But there he was, stood in front of her door, a bottle of wine in hand as a sort of peace offering.
Ready to knock, even though he was expecting to get turned away, or maybe Lucy would be asleep already. He wouldn’t blame her.
Still, he knocked.
And he rocked back and forth on his heels as he waited.
So, when Lucy opened the door less than thirty seconds later, he didn’t expect it and he almost dropped the wine.
“Hi…” he tried to smile but he wasn’t sure whether it came out as he’d intended.
“Tim…it’s been a long day. I just want to relax. I told you I need time, I’m sorry for snapping at the station but my head is just all over the place.” Lucy held onto the door, not opening it all the way, knowing that she’d be tempted to invite Tim in.
She was so close...
“Truce? I brought wine. Please can we just be in each other’s company, for tonight. After today I just need to know that you’re okay.” He held up the bottle.
And Lucy caved.
Opening the door fully and walking inside watching Tim walk in behind her and shut the door.
The various candles she’d lit to create a calming atmosphere lit up the apartment, and Lucy didn’t bother turning on any other lights except from the lamps in the corners of the living room.
She looked down, realising she was in Tim’s shirt, and she hoped that he wouldn’t notice.
But after she’d showered and was certain she was just going to crawl into bed, she knew that wearing Tim’s shirt would be the only way she’d be able to sleep.
“Did Smitty really bet on our breakup?” Tim broke the silence with the least heavy question he could think of, as Lucy went to grab some glasses from the cabinet.
And Lucy couldn’t bring herself to get annoyed, she didn’t have the energy anymore. To be upset or angry or try and pick a fight.
“Yes, he had a betting pool going. It’s not funny but you have to laugh, I guess. I swear Grey only keeps him around for comedic relief most days.” Lucy reached over to grab the bottle of wine that Tim had pushed across the island.
He’d sat down on one of the barstools and it almost felt like before, for a split second she wondered if they’d ended up in the past. When this was their apartment and not just hers.
“No Celina tonight?”
Lucy shook her head, “no she’s staying with a friend for a few days. Which suits me fine because I need some alone time.”
And for the first time in a while, the small talk didn’t feel so awkward, and she made the choice to let her guard down completely.
“Do you think we should have them bet on the goings on in the elevator?” Tim joked, not expecting Lucy to take him seriously or return the same energy he had.
“Did you want something to happen in that elevator?” Lucy threw over her shoulder, her tone nothing short of teasing, as she poured them both a sizeable glass of wine which was much needed after today.
“Well, with the amount of times you called me Sergeant Bradford today…maybe.” Tim watched Lucy’s shoulders tense up, and he wondered if maybe he’d said the wrong thing.
“Listen, that was a little bit inappropriate. I’m sorry-” but he stopped short when Lucy walked towards where he was sat on the barstool, leaving the glasses of wine behind. She stood in front of him for a second, and then she pulled his knees apart gently, before settling in between them.
Guiding his hands to her waist.
“If things were different. If we weren’t in the middle of this mess, if I hadn’t completely freaked out, would you have? Wanted something to happen in the elevator.” Lucy whispered, wanting him to be truthful.
And Tim felt his breath catch in his throat, because he knew what his answer was.
“Yes.” He whispered, feeling Lucy’s body move closer to his.
“I think, just for tonight we can put a pin in everything. If you’re okay with that? Because if today taught me anything, it’s that life’s too short and I don’t want to waste anymore time being mad at you…but I also don’t want to talk about anything else tonight, I just want to be with you.” Lucy settled her hands on Tim’s shoulders, her gaze searching his.
Tomorrow was another day, and they had plenty of time to figure everything out. She wanted to, and so did Tim. That much was true, and she just needed to learn to give Tim the benefit of doubt, to loosen her grip on the past and let everything begin to move forward. If she wanted this to work, she had to trust him.
And of course she wanted this to work. Them to work. She loved him.
The stark reality of what they’d gone through today, made her want to table all of the conversations they needed to have. All that could wait, because right now she just wanted to be close to Tim, to hold him, to feel safe in his arms. To love him.
Lucy had given him permission and that was all he’d needed as he let his guard down too.
“You? Not wanting to argue, are you still a little oxygen deprived?” Tim teased, grinning even when Lucy slapped his chest.
Wrapping his hands around Lucy’s waist even tighter when she started to pull away.
“I do recall…that we’re good at arguing. We’ve proven that point a lot over the last few weeks. I’m just wondering if we’re still good at other things as well?”
And the flashbacks to when they’d first had a similar conversation in this very same spot when things had barely begun, made both of them slip into their own world.
Where, just for tonight, they were together. They were safe, alive, and they were happy in each other’s arms.
Lucy dared to make the first move, her lips connecting with Tim’s, as she cupped the back of his head, letting him stand up and pull her so close, eliminating all distance between them.
Tim was gentle when he returned the kiss, being careful of Lucy’s split lip.
“Oh, come on Bradford, is that all you’ve got?” Lucy mumbled against his lips, tugging his grey jumper off.
Tim gently brushed his thumb against the cut on Lucy’s cheek, “you’re hurt so excuse me for being gentle.”
And for a moment Lucy looked up at Tim and stopped.
“Stop it, because I’m going to just fall straight back in love with you Tim Bradford.” Lucy whispered, trailing her fingers against the bare skin of Tim’s toned stomach and eventually she laid her hand against his chest.
Relaxing at the feeling of his steady heartbeat.
“And who’s to say that isn’t my plan, hmm?” He smiled gently, pulling her back in for a slightly longer drawn-out kiss.
And when Tim gently moved his tongue against her bottom lip, she granted him access, snaking her arms around his back, her heart racing, but for the first time today it was for a good reason.
“You. Are. Never. Leaving. Again. Do you hear me?” Lucy spoke in between planting a series of kisses against Tim’s lips.
“Yes boss,” Tim smirked, gently tugging Lucy’s shirt off, but he didn’t throw it because he’d already clocked that it was his and he knew that it was important to her, even though he hoped after today that they’d get back on track and she wouldn’t need the comfort of his shirt anymore, “I mean it, I promise. I want to fix this, us, and I want you back. For good. Forever.”
And Lucy let herself believe everything he said.
“Good,” Lucy pulled him back in for another kiss and then she almost got caught off guard when Tim hoisted her up, but she managed to wrap her legs around his waist and then she went back to kissing him, leaving a trail of softer kisses along his collarbone, “as much as I’d love to christen the kitchen for the second time…maybe we should take this to the bedroom? Just in case Celina comes home.”
Lucy let her thumb move against Tim’s cheek, leaning forward to kiss him again as he walked them towards her bedroom.
“You’re no fun.” Tim teased, barely remembering to shut the door behind them, fumbling a little at the stark contrast between the lit-up living room and the dim light that was coming from Lucy’s bedroom window.
But he made it to the bed.
“Is that so?” Lucy smirked, climbing onto the bed, watching Tim move closer as she laid back against her pillows.
“Mhmm, but I suppose we can save the fun for another night.” Tim had never felt as hopeful as he did right now, and he had never wanted Lucy as much as he did right now.
Just the mere thought of losing Lucy, made him realise that he wanted to do everything possible to make this work.
“I love you,” Lucy watched Tim gently move to kneel on the bed, trapping her in between his knees as he hovered over her, looking at her with so much love in return, she almost got lost in the sea of blue in his eyes, “I love you and I want us to fix things, and I want tonight to be the first step in the right direction for us.”
Tim nodded, gently reaching out to lace his fingers with Lucy’s, gently kissing her, “I love you too. And I promise you, I’ll keep promising you every day until we’re through it all, that I am never going to leave you again. Doing it the first time was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. To even fathom losing you again…I can’t do that to you or myself. I promise tonight is the first step towards getting us back.”
And that was all Lucy needed to hear.
“Then, show me how much you love me.” Lucy whispered pulling Tim flush against her chest.
So, he did, making a silent promise to Lucy too in that moment as he leaned forward to capture her lips in his, that he would never not show her how much he loved her. For the rest of their lives.