Archive of Our Own ^beta

Sitting in the far-too familiar stall of Ichiraku, Sakura stares at the pools of fat and oil in her ramen broth and ruminates. 

She’s flanked by Kakashi on one side, food already sneakily eaten and not-really reading his porn books and the other side is Naruto who’s completely forgotten her presence and just talking at an only slightly engaged Sasuke but he’s smiling all the same. So it’s fine.

She’s staring into her bowl of ramen, being ignored by the two people who are supposed to be her teammates and a nonchalant sensei. 

They truly are back to the way they are.

Except they aren’t. They aren’t because instead of forcefully integrating herself into a conversation she will never be on the same wavelength as she just sits and stares at her fatty ramen. Instead of worrying about how her hair looks or how much she weighs, she’s worrying about if a patient of hers is crashing, she’s worrying about how much chakra she can input in a new doton jutsu she wants to test. 

Instead of having all of her twelve naive years behind her, Sakura has a war, a chakra-eating Goddess, millions of dead shinobi and a painfully low level of self-worth. 

Sakura is twenty, being ignored by the two people she’s supposed to equate to and the man she trained with her bleeding, ragged hands to get even a nod of approval from. Instead of denial, she accepts. 

Sakura is twenty and nothing has changed from the painfully out of league twelve year old she used to be.

-

It goes something like this; the three original members of team seven bar their sensei are gathered in the rusty kunai with essentially every Jounin and more celebrating the inauguration of their once-sensei. Sakura has a bottle of sake, Sasuke is pretending he’s drinking whatever beer Naruto gave him and Naruto is on a strict cleanse because he can’t handle his alcohol, making moon eyes at Sasuke’s beer or maybe just Sasuke.

It’s not really something to be surprised at, Naruto and Sasuke that is. It’s a truth universally acknowledged that they are in love with each other. There is a love, a dynamic and a total devotion that is so vast it cannot be challenged. They don’t label it, so the people closest to them don’t either. In fact they don’t even address it, they just nod and smile or sometimes don’t even react when another brings it up. 

It’s definitely not for her sake because A) they don’t care and B) Sakura is an elite-nin, she knows how to hide her feelings. The ignorant twelve and sixteen year old girl has truly died out. 

Naruto sighs, a sense of longing in his tone. “Now he’s Hokage, we won't be able to be a team again.”

Sakura feels her stomach clench. 

Sasuke rolls his eyes, “That’s what you’re thinking of? You have an exorbitant amount of research to do and books to study. It's not as if you have time to go on missions anyway.”

Sakura’s eyes begin to get a little hazy, too tired to burn the alcohol off.

Naruto shrugs, taking a gulp of his alcohol free cider, “Yeah but it’s like- like the principle of it. Now we are officially too busy to be a team. Work as a team and take missions as a team.”

Sakura has been too busy since the war ended. She's a hospital director. She has the lives of everyone in Konoha to be aware of, she’s been busier in the past seven months than Naruto has been in his entire life. They couldn’t have even taken team missions if they demanded her to because she’s been busy, she doesn’t even remember them asking so she isn’t sure why he’s whining.

“Whatever, we can still hangout-”

And it’s as if any control she had left with her sobriety as she unintentionally interrupts, “We never really were a team .” 

She feels the way the boys pause, almost like someone splashed their faces with ice water. Did they forget she was here?

Sakura’s feeling a little too drunk and a lot too loose-lipped to filter her words though, so she continues.

“Us, you, me. All of us. Not a team. More like a toxic rival dynamic, the token cannon fodder and a sensei who didn’t really care. Four separate people paraded as a team but nothing about it was united.” 

She doesn’t dare to look at the boys as she says this, their eyes are so expressive.

She shrugs and finishes her bottle, “You two have this weird connection that is beyond the cosmos and can never be broken, you both also had a connection with Kakashi even before you knew him. One of you is the son of his dead sensei and the other is the brother of his ex-teammate. I was this pink girl who brought nothing. Not really a team.”

She waits, wondering if they’ll respond. But alas, nothing. Are they still even there? Listening to her?

“A team doesn’t hurt and antagonise the other two simply because they were able to do something or complete a skill. A team doesn’t leave the village. A team doesn’t desert the village and leave their teammate open on a very public bench. A team doesn’t leave for two years without so much as an ask of what their remaining teammate will be doing. That-”

She swiftly points towards where team Gai is mingling,

“-that right there is a team. Lee knows exactly how Neji cares for his hair, visits my office to see if he can offer further support for Neji from his injuries in the war and makes it a point to not coddle him. Neji knows what type, brand and specialised make of weapon Tenten likes down to her individual senbon, knows what her favourite foods are on her period and could probably write an essay on how to encourage her when she feels down. Tenten used to wake up at 5am everyday to visit Lee when he was pushing himself too hard till he got that he is a human and needs sleep as well, has about five spare jumpsuits to his exact tailoring and has been helping him build his alcohol tolerance-” she lets out a sardonic, pained laugh “-and don’t even get me started on how they work with Gai-sensei. But you know the kicker, the hilarious thing is that they are an exact replica of our cliche types: Traumatised, icy and arrogant clan kid, ignorant, naive and too loud powerhouse, self-conscious, inadequate nobody-girl and a powerful and talented sensei. Yet they figured it out. They are a team. What we, team seven, are is a glorified madhouse of individualists with our varying complexes who think the foundation of teamwork is not killing each other.”

She decides she’s had enough. A cathartic rant and a bottle of sake is all she needed. Frankly, she also doesn’t want to deal with the fallout of said rant.

Standing up, brushing her skirt and finally choosing to look at Sasuke and Naruto she sees, well, she’s not sure what she sees. Sasuke’s eyes are cloudy with subtle revelation and even an audacious hint of regret and Naruto- Naruto looks like she just stomped on his heart. She has no idea where Kakashi is but she hopes from his porn reading place wherever that is, he heard it.

Eye’s hooded, face stony and very close to laughing maniacally out of pure exhaustion Sakura says a final thing.

“There is a team but it isn’t something I'm a part of. In this equation- the Naruto, Sasuke, Kakashi equation, I am the mediator. The one people go to when they remember I'm there. Team seven was never a team but a defence plan put together when they needed the bait and shield for the last Uchiha and the Jinchuuriki. That may have changed nowadays because I made sure it did but as far as our relationships, dynamics and trust goes it’s akin to a tiny piece of thread, holding together weights it cannot bare.” and Sakura- Sakura walks away, blissfully drunk and feeling freer than she ever has.

-

The next morning, when she is deplorably sober, Sakura thinks mere teammates would not affect her this much. Kakashi was her sensei but she still tolerates him and his issues. He was her teammate and yet it does not feel like her emotions are taking a blade to her pumping heart at every diminishing interaction with him. 

Sakura is not in love with Kakashi.

-

She’s sitting doing paperwork with Kakashi, both would rather do anything else but are still glad to do it in the company of the other.

Sakura isn’t too sure about Kakashi. At one desperate point when she felt neglected as a teen she sought a paternal figure in him but he wasn’t and isn’t emotionally available to be that, at one moment after seeing him bare and shirtless she considered sexual interest and at many points all she can think of when she looks at him is this sense of resentment she still hasn’t be able to quell. So, she settles for silent bonding sharing the mutual detestation of paperwork and occasional dinners together. 

“Naruto and Sasuke are avoiding you.” 

Sakura raises an eyebrow because she knows he knows she’s avoiding them also.

“Oh? Did they tell you that?” she drawls, sarcastic and so clearly uncaring.

Kakashi doesn’t respond initially, scratching the side of his head with the end of the pen.

He winces, “Kind of. Not really. They didn’t so much as tell me straight, more so it was painfully obvious?”

Sakura’s face falls flat, “I see.”

“They also told me about your-”

“My wake-up call?” She interrupts.

Kakashi gives a sharp laugh, not really amused but also not serious. 

Because well, Kakashi is a genius. He can also read someone scarily well for a man who has some of the worst emotional regulation and avoidance issues she’s ever seen. 

She knows he knows she secretly still holds ire for his basic neglect as genin sensei, for her. As said though, horrible issues with avoidance so he still hasn’t grasped how to broach that topic with her. He will though, she’s just not sure when. All she knows is that she will not be the one to initiate it.

Sakura drops her pen, pinches the bridge of her nose in an action that is all too Sasuke

“I want to officially remove myself from team seven.”

There’s an even longer pause from Kakashi at this. She thinks maybe she said it randomly but well- they were talking about Naruto and Sasuke anyway so it doesn’t really matter. In all honesty, she is of the opinion that Kakashi shouldn’t be all too shocked. 

Finally, he glances up “Do you? This is from you, not your very influential emotions?” 

Sakura has been ruminating the moment Sasuke was released that team seven wasn’t much of a team with her so why should she still be involved.

She just curtly nods her head, choosing to ignore the blatant dig at the fact she wears her heart on her sleeve.

Slowly nodding in response, they both watch as he steadily reaches out a tentative hand like a man reaching out to test if the bath water is too hot and places his hand ( his big, heavy and comforting hand ) on her small one. It feels like it means something, she’s not sure, probably not. 

“I’m sorry, Sakura…someday we’ll talk more.” 

She knows he’s not talking about Naruto or Sasuke at that moment.

It’s hard to keep the tears from dropping but she manages, she copes. As she always has.

-

At their core, shinobi are atrocious teenage school girls and adore gossip. Especially now that they are in peace times, shinobi and the drama queens that they are, crave it. So it isn’t surprising that everyone Chunin or above knows about her soon-to-be official departure from team seven. It kind of feels how one does when they are making a speech and everyone is staring into the speaker, like they are reading their soul.

Sakura unlocks the door of her apartment, sets down her groceries, pauses her movements and slowly reaches into her pouch, striking the Kunai with all her might and chakra. Just about missing Sasuke’s eye, a few little black hairs fall as they stare where blade meets wall.

Sakura’s tired eyes look into Sasuke even more tired ones.

“Why are you here?” She questions, uncaring for his breaking and entering.

Sasuke says nothing, just walks up to her and starts unpacking her groceries. 

She stares, baffled at his unwelcome display of domesticity. 

“What- what are you doing?”

Sasuke just looks up, a raised brow and very much not impressed facial expression.

“Putting away groceries.”

“Yeah no, I can see that. I mean why.” 

“Because you are a part of our team. Of Naruto and I.”

Sakura takes a breath of impatience and overwhelming emotions that are about to bubble out of her tightly kept pot.

“Sasuke, I don’t need this. Say your piece and go .”

He keeps putting away the damn groceries.

Sasuke is as stubborn as she is, possibly even more so, so she knows there’s no stopping him. Which leads her to instead throw her hands up in irritation and go to her room. If he’s going to willingly do her chores she refuses to be there for it.

Twenty minutes later she returns, hoping to see him gone.

Instead there is a pot of freshly steeped tea and a waiting Sasuke at her table. 

He motions for her to sit and Sakura is so fed up she doesn’t even have the energy to fight.

They sit in an awkward silence, Sakura focusing on the intricate patterns of her tea set. It’s the one nice, porcelain tea set she owns, a gift from Neji of all people. He said it was because of how she had assisted him with many ANBU missions and he appreciates her competence but they both know it’s because he wouldn’t be alive without her. War and all.

Sakura is studying the teacup while Sasuke happily sips away, apparently waiting for her to begin speaking even though he is the one who invited himself into her apartment with pleasure. Asshole. 

Still rejecting the act of meeting his eyes, Sakura swishes her teacup lightly, distracting herself in the whirls of the tea when she speaks, voice low and with a pain behind it neither can identify, “Why are you here, Sasuke? I don’t want to argue with you.”

She doesn’t see his instinctive reaction, what with her making goo-goo eyes at the teacup but she feels an uncomfortable chill go through her as long, pale and oddly bony fingers very lightly make contact with her smaller and mauled ones. She still doesn’t look up though.

Sasuke huffs but doesn’t remove his hands where his fingertips touch her protruding knuckles, “I never begged you for a hypocrite, Sakura”.

Sakura rips her hand from Sasuke’s at his declaration unsure if she wants to gut him or slap him. She is thrown completely off balance because that was not what she was expecting him to say.

Succumbing to the desire to look, she peers up at him behind red-rimmed eyelids and dark eye-bags, “I’m sorry, what? ” 

Sasuke is unmoving, looking as stoic as he always had when it came to her, “Don’t play dumb, Sakura.” 

God, he says her name too much. Why does he always say her name with such decadence, so much weight and abundance?

His voice never matches his face, though. She has never ever let it show but Sakura has always envied the ease at which Naruto can raise a facial reaction out of Sasuke - even if it’s anger or disgust it’s something.

“In what way, in what fucking way am I a hypocrite, Sasuke?” she implores.

Sasuke runs his tongue against the front of his teeth and Sakura traces the movement because even staring at the hidden movement of his tongue is better than returning to looking at those obsidian eyes. 

He stretches and clenches his fist repeatedly from where it rests against her table while the other one sits on his thigh. Initially, following his release and then almost immediate departure from Konoha via redemption, Sasuke declined the prosthetic arm. Alas, as soon as he had returned he then made it a point to demand the arm. Odd man.

“You…you preach the notion of speaking out. Talking about one's feelings, the toxicity of bottling everything up and yet, like the raging hypocrite you apparently are, have been keeping these extremely toxic thoughts and pathetically low perceptions of yourself silent. To the point you chose the team's abolition over simply ‘talking it out’. Where is the communication there, Sakura?” he finishes in a condescending drawl. 

“That- that is different. This is different.” she stammers out. 

He raises a defined, dark brow, “Is it, truly?” and Sakura thickly swallows, unable to further her defence.

She can tell why Sasuke chose to come here and say this. He has the combination of necessary bluntness and careful tactness to call her out. Where Sakura would’ve ignored or reacted unfairly with Kakashi, Sakura has always trembled when it comes to Sasuke. Or, where Naruto wouldn’t have quite had the precise phrasing needed to carry the point across, Sasuke has accumulated the training over the years to be able to choose his words carefully but not diplomatically when he wasn’t being a rabid and impulsive idiot. 

Her eyes flicker to the corners of her apartment in a foolish attempt to gather her thoughts, “Yes. Yes it is. Because where yours and Naruto’s lack of communication always finds a way to lead to mass devastation for all participating and observing parties, my lack of communication hasn’t so much as caused a ripple of wrongness. I may have been drunk when I was talking about our team the other week but I was far from incorrect.” 

Having found a little shred of resolve when facing the Uchiha, Sakura again meets Sasuke’s stony eyes only to find a flicker of… amusement, perhaps…no- no it’s irony? 

Either Sasuke isn’t taking any of this seriously or he has been driven to a level of instability where he finds odd rapture in conflict.

His head tilts to the left, in a feline manner, “Did you know Sakura, that Naruto and I thought you were too busy for us? Overworking yourself? That we would’ve gotten in your way, when we first noticed your abhorrence for anything team seven”. 

Sakura’s brows furrow and her mouth contorts, “Uh… what ?” 

“Since I got back, everytime we have a meal together it looks like you’re being held against your own will. When Naruto first suggested, dared, to subtly imply a mission as a trio, he was very much upset at the speed at which you declined that ever furthering. I’m not sure if you’re aware, Sakura but you are very expressive and the grimace you gave was something you would give your worst enemy. Not your teammates. Ahh- forgive me. Ex-teammates. As you so clearly desire.” 

Sakura kind of feels like her throat is closing up. This may be the most Sasuke has said to her in a peaceful way, ever. 

Except there’s nothing peaceful at the expertly veiled betrayal in his eyes but even she got a glimpse of it at his ending sentence. 

“What’s your point, Sasuke?” 

His fingers tap in a rhythm on the table. 

“My point, Sakura, is that so quickly you accepted the inevitable dismissal of our team. At the first sight of what you think is poor teamwork, of us not caring for you in the way teammates ‘should’, whatever that means, you never even attempted to discuss that with us. You never even thought to figure it out, to improve teamwork. You just gave up. Gave up on us. I would’ve expected this from Kakashi but not you. Never you, Sakura.” he says, his voice hardening as he continues. The manner in which he spits ‘teammates’ one would think he detested the word, despised the usage of it. 

(because he doesn’t think of her as just a teammate) 

Sakura thinks she would’ve preferred Naruto to say all this. She can take his tears and betrayed anger over…whatever it is Sasuke’s doing. Or maybe Sasuke being honest about his emotions regarding something is so rare and to the extent he’s doing also, that Sakura is thrown off. 

“I would’ve understood your morbid acceptance if this revelation came a few years ago. What with Naruto being obsessed with me and me obsessed with revenge and sorts. But you think this at a time where we are actually at our healthiest, at least in the court-mandated therapists opinions.” 

Sakura heaves a sigh, not fond of this teacher-like reprimand she is being given right now, particularly as she is trying her best to resist strangling Sasuke. 

“What the fuck am I supposed to think, Sasuke? I get it. You and Naruto are trying for each other, for yourselves, whatever it is, I’m happy for you. Truly happy. But since we were twelve I haven’t been a consideration and now, when I have finally made my peace with that and I'm taking action to remove myself from the situation, you and i’m assuming Naruto, decline that? No, no you don’t get to do that.” And she realises her voice is rising at the end by the very telling headache oncoming. 

She abruptly stands, chair screeching as it’s pushed back and slams both of her hands on the table, leaning towards Sasuke, “I am finally standing up for myself. I have sat back and been unimportant towards this team for so long, an inconsequential tool there for your healing. I am barely managing to work on my relationship with Kakashi but not even I have the mental capability to integrate myself into the absolute and utter confusion that is yours and Naruto’s dynamic. And that is something not even you can deny, what with the fact you two are soulmates transcending stars and Godhood, Sasuke. I am not so strong I will even attempt to worm my way into that. We are not a team, we were never a team and it shouldn’t have to default to me to fix it. Now-” and unwilling to give Sasuke a chance to even react, marches towards her bedroom, 

“-I am going to sleep because yes, I have been overworking myself because I am the head of an entire fucking department. Not that you and Naruto have noticed but I have been too busy for a meagre team , for a mission for years now. Before you went on a little redemption trip, before Naruto decided to actually study to be the Kage and before Kakashi even became the Kage. So, kindly, get the fuck out.” and out of fear, exhaustion or dramatics doesn’t even glance back at Sasuke as she slams the door. 

Back in the quaint living room Sakura has designed for herself, still reeling in the tension from Sakura’s exit, Sasuke slowly finishes his tea. 

-

As Sakura lies, in pain, in the not-so-comfy bed of her own hospital she contemplates her own idiocy.

It was honestly so, so stupid on her part. The mission wasn’t even worthy of being S-rank but without the constant threat of global destruction, what used to be considered an average S-rank if barely even heard of anymore and usually designated as SSS-rank. 

So Sakura had been on a glorified A-rank with Neji, her favourite ANBU partner and their target while not being an official shinobi seemed to have been familiar with the use of senbon’s and what is a commonly known fact amongst Shinobi is that when a nin messes with senbon, they mess with poison. But the target hadn’t been registered as a nin so Sakura had been impulsive, dismissive and a fucking idiot. 

When the senbon had actually nicked her on the thigh Sakura was a little impressed with this not-shinobi shinobi, when said area of the thigh had started to ache Sakura hadn’t given it much thought as it resembled standard muscle pain and when Sakura was one moment jumping along trees to the next collapsing against a branch in scorching agony she realised she had fucked up. 

So here Sakura lies, kind of hating herself because she was taken down by a not-even-official-shinobi shinobi from her pure unassuming inadequacy. 

Her eyes are closed because she can feel the presence of three familiar chakra signatures in her room and she doesn’t want to deal with them right now. Also Neji’s here.

Unfortunately they are all elite, highly skilled nin so the moment she even twitches they are aware she is awake. 

To be honest Sakura is the most competent shinobi there is so she actually dealt with most of the poison herself, while on the field, with Neji there as transport and mild emotional support so at this point it’s primarily chakra exhaustion and recovering from her chakra pathways being broiled, which really fucking hurts. 

So, Sakura very slowly opens her eyes and quickly makes it a point to locate the blank dojutsu of the Byakugan instead of black, purple or blue eyes.

She winces at Neji’s expression, “Hey.”

Neji crosses his arms, upset very obvious on his face, “That was stupid. But you know that so I won’t lecture you but you aren’t stupid and are unimaginably thorough when it comes to even the slightest twitch in your own body so I want you to sort your shit out before our next mission because I will not work with a stupid partner and as I said, you aren’t stupid.” and at that and making sure she’s actually okay he turns to leave but not without a patronising pat on the cheek and a mutter of, “Don’t be stupid next time, as I will be very upset if you die.” and Sakura just rolls her eyes, sort of regretting the day she and Hyuuga Neji became close friends and watches him leave. 

This now just leaves her unfortunately lucid in a room with her errant ex-sensei and the two boys she really doesn’t want to be near. 

But she isn’t prepared for Naruto to randomly ask, “Since when were you and Neji so close?” ask is a nicety as it’s more of an insistence.

Even Sasuke and Kakashi seem to be a little taken aback by the question, well, as taken-aback as the both of them let show but they both turn to Naruto after he asks.

Sakura deadpans, not caring about the invasive question and weirdly offended tone used, “Circumstance. We’re partners, Naruto and get on very well because we think, react and act very similarly in the field. We are also both partial to the same foods and hobbies. Satisfied?” 

Naruto’s eyes narrow and he seems very much unsatisfied but Sakura doesn’t really care so instead of acknowledging the boys, she just closes her eyes in an act of mild petulance. 

Naruto scoffs, “Mature.” 

“I know Uzumaki Naruto is not about to give me grief regarding maturity.” She snaps back. 

There’s no response, naturally. 

But, her eyes open again at Kakashi’s soft call of her name. 

He’s sitting closest to her, the chair he’s in directly aligned with her head and she unintentionally tenses when instead of giving her the typical annoying head pat he very, very gently strokes the front of her head. It is most bizarre and extremely welcome. Sakura is touch-starved and they both know it. 

Their eyes meet as Kakashi continues to pet her like she’s Pakkun, “Sakura-chan. Your Hokage probably wouldn’t make it if something were to happen to his most precious, most favourite student. Especially something entirely unbefitting like dying because the information on your mission wasn’t as specific and you make a presumptuous error that is, as Neji-kun put it, stupid.” He soothingly tells her.

If this were under normal circumstances where Sakura didn’t almost die and lose her legs she would make a very snide retort at being compared to anything even similar to the word stupid but alas she was in fact, stupid but most importantly this is the most emotive and from-the-heart Kakashi has been in his life regarding how he feels about her so Sakura doesn’t ruin the moment and thankfully the Blonde and Black haired doofuses don’t either. 

At her nod of eventual compliance and acceptance of this very small attempt at communication, Kakashi stands up and pointedly pokes her cheek, fond of the way her baby fat is still there for Kakashi to exploit. “After your fantastical heart-to-heart that’s about to happen with the boys, Hokage-sensei-sama will come and visit you okay? Feel better, Sakura-chan.” he says. 

Before he can amble away and go avoid meeting and reading his porn Sakura, in all her academic genius, decides to respond, “Stop chronically avoiding your problems, you can put off confrontation but you can’t put off death. Talk it out or seek help please, sensei.” Ignoring Sasuke’s sardonic snort at ‘talk it out’. 

Sakura swallows, “I think I'm high on morphine.” but she can’t find any regret but the brutally honest words that a few years ago would’ve sent Kakashi to Kumo in anger and fear of confrontation. 

Kakashi gives her an eye crinkle, “Yes I think you are. But you’re right. Hopefully you won’t remember this tomorrow though. Sensei will have a deep, emotional and tearful conversation with you eventually, neh? But he has his own stuff to deal with first.” and poofs away, leaves and all. 

Now she’s left with the two idiots who are technically still her teammates because she hasn’t signed the paperwork to officially dissolve the team yet. 

Attempting to shrink and morph with the bed proves useless as she gets an incredulous look from Naruto and a sort-of glare from Sasuke.

She sighs, the exhaustion evident, “Can we just not? Naruto I'm sure you want to have it all out and dramatically profess your inner thoughts but I'm feeling annoyingly blunt currently and do not have the self-preservation instincts active right now to prevent myself from saying something that I will undoubtedly regret. And Sasuke, I’m not even sure what’s happening with you right now after your odd breaking and entering act the other day. So, can we just not?” she pleads and she’s not even lying or melodramatic, she’s actually far too unwell to deal with emotions and stupid teammates. 

Naruto rolls his eyes, “I have actually grown up you know and i’m not stupid. I may be a little rash with my words but I have eyes and I can see that you aren’t in the state to deal with that.” and rolls his eyes even deeper at the smirk Sasuke gives him, even if it is accompanied with a light blush. 

At this frankly unwelcome sight Sakura groans deep and a little rudely, “If you are going to kiss or give each the mildly disturbing fond look you two give each other can you leave? I do not need this when I nearly died and the closest thing I have to a distraught lover is my inept ex-teacher and whatever the fuck you two have going on.” 

Sasuke tries to flick her nose, “We are your distraught lovers, though.” Sakura reaches to break the finger, which Sasuke only just dodges her grasp, “Nothing about you and I or Naruto and I is even close to lovers, let alone the distraught type.” 

Naruto viscerally reacts to this, seemingly upset with what she said. Which part of it she’s not sure but Sasuke gives him this look so Naruto reluctantly keeps his mouth shut. 

Sakura gives them both a onceover, “Why are you still here?” and at her question Naruto actually brightens up and begins disjointedly nodding with glee.

Sasuke looks at her again and she’s a little too morphine’d up to stop the thumb of his coming to (far-too) intimately brush the sensitive and delicate skin under her eye, “In light of your…incident, the recovery needed and your lack of ability to care for yourself we are forcing you to come live with us. Don’t fight us, it’s happening. Kakashi agrees and is enforcing it while you're on temporary leave.” 

She’s too tired to fight right now, she will later, oh absolutely she will but for now she just rolls on her side, back facing the boys and not so discreetly mumbles, “Why did my teammates have to be the inconsistent traumatised ones? Why couldn’t I get the lazy and kind one’s like the piggy?” to which Naruto responds, just as sarcastically, “Why did we have to have the emotional, smart-ass teammate ? Was one ex missing-nin not enough?” and makes it a point to look at Sasuke as he says that. 

Sasuke doesn’t even flinch, “There isn’t even enough time in the day to recite all of your issues.”

Sakura prays the poison has a delayed reaction and just takes her out.

-

Staying with Naruto and Sasuke, in their apartment, in their space, is unnaturally easy. When she pictured playing patient in their home she thought they’d ditch her on a futon and then forget she existed. They don’t do that. They do the opposite, actually. It’s disproportionate to the caring she actually needs, they are making a bigger deal out of her incident than they need to but Sakura coincidentally fails to mention this. It’s nice. Nice to be the centre of attention for once and Sakura doesn’t want it to end. 

Naruto and Sasuke don’t really have a nurturing bone in their body which means they’ve learnt how to play Doctor. She’s not sure as to when. 

Firstly, Sasuke leaves a bell- a fucking bell for her to merrily dingle when she needs someone. Which is ridiculous because she can walk and she can function, just at a slower and more dreary pace than before. What’s even more ridiculous is that it was Sasuke who put the bell there. Sasuke do-not-bother-or-look-at-me-ever Uchiha. 

Secondly, Naruto has learnt to cook and Sakura is floored. Prior to the war, Sakura only ever saw Naruto voluntarily eat Noodles and Sodium but Naruto has learnt to cook. Healthy food. It’s not great, is very imbalanced in flavour and he only overcooked or undercooked it but the fact he is cooking healthy food, the type of food Sakura nourishes her body with is what gets her. 

“When did you learn to cook with vegetables?” She questions, still reeling from the shock of it. 

Naruto laughs sheepishly and scratches the back of his neck, “Well you said I needed to eat healthier if I wanted to prevent any issues from happening when I'm older. So, I learnt- am learning.” He amends, looking at the not-so-pretty plate of fried rice and veggies. 

Sakura’s eyes widened, “You listened?” She asks, incredulously.

She’s stunned when instead of whining about how he always listens or to stop being shocked by him, Naruto’s blushing face mellows, replaced with an extremely unfamiliar melancholy on his face, an emotion that shouldn’t be on Naruto’s face. Ever.

“Of course I listened, Sakura.” He replies, dauntingly soft voice and despondent tone.

She doesn’t respond, visibly swallowing at the sudden bout of guilt that fills her stomach.

Thirdly, they establish this- routine, of sorts. For all they are trying to play the gratifying Doctor role, they have their lives and their issues and isms but for the few points in the day they attempt to come together, it’s unnerving and toes the edge of so blatantly uncanny Sakura questions if she’s in an alternate timeline. 

Sakura has cultivated herself to be an early bird; early hospital shifts, the general put-together aura she likes to give off, oh, and the PTSD nightmares from the war. So, she can’t help it that she automatically wakes up at least an hour before either of the boys do. At first she stayed in her room, biding her time but eventually she got too antsy from the overall relaxation she’s been doing in recovery but also the nervous energy that won’t dwell. Meaning she’s up and out by six AM, at first Sasuke had coming rushing into the kitchen - oddly cute pyjamas in disarray, with his katana raised before pausing at the realisation someone hadn’t made the mistake of breaking into the last apartment anyone would ever want to break into and it was just Sakura. After this however, when Sakura was in the kitchen sipping on her morning tea she was randomly joined by Naruto. She’s not sure how or why but Naruto has enough energy that she guesses he can actually transform himself into an earlier riser. Just like that. 

After that and after Sasuke eventually hobbles out of his lair of doom (his room), they sit amicably. Usually, Naruto and Sasuke discuss amongst themselves and Sakura fades away into her brain. Sakura has learnt all of their habits from the moment they were genin to now, so while the boys go about their lives, Sakura is comfortable to simply observe. 

While on forced bed-rest and relaxation, she doesn’t really go outside of the apartment lest she be ‘knocked over like a frail twig by an extra strong gust of wind’ as Kakashi so eloquently put it, so she basically marinates in Naruto and Sasuke’s home. She’s found things to do and luckily she’s loved enough to garner the occasional visit. Ino was away when the incident first happened but Kami knows the hell she raised at Sakura when she got back, while Naruto and Sasuke watched on, one is amusement the other is obvious ire for the banshee-like screeching. 

Neji and Shikamaru also visited, the three of them had been dubbed the ‘nerd-trio’, usually with a variant of strategy games and a batch of her most favourite sweets. 

Sai visited to teach her to paint, now that she finally had the time. She didn’t let anyone see except Sai. 

The first painting she completed was a replica of team 7’s genin photo but she ended up tearing it to shreds, she’s not sure why.

And of course, Kakashi visited. However, she thinks he only really came when he also conveniently had work or a meeting he didn’t want to attend. She still appreciated the company.

During the day, Naruto and Sasuke would make themselves scarce in an abnormal show of human understanding, probably aware she would feel smothered had they stayed there, surrounding her for too long. However, by approximately seven PM they would magically return, sometimes with takeout but they mostly cooked. Sakura tried not to hover like an over-doting mother, trying to correct the oil usage or wasted sauces. 

It was all terribly…homely. 

And the worst part was Sakura was getting used to it. 

Honestly, she’d prefer the overt disregard for her person because at least with that she wouldn’t feel a false sense of stability as a person in their home, in their dynamic- which would never happen. 

Sakura anticipated when she could leave, for the sake of her weakweakweak heart. 

-

They ambush her when she really should expect it but doesn’t because she’s been off her game lately. As they know. 

It is the unspoken last day of her stay, well according to her but they probably got the message when she very clearly told them, “I’m leaving in two days.” to which they just…nodded a little too in sync to be natural. She’s completely healed bar feeling a little lethargic, if anything the last two days were overkill but you can’t blame a girl in love wanting to hold the last few bits of the sensation that they loved her back. 

In a show of niceness they don’t deserve, she’s taken to doing the dishes and simple house chores around the house because she wasn’t raised by animals and despite her complicated feelings regarding the two will still show her manners and gratitude. Even if they don’t deserve it. 

Sasuke had called her a ‘good little housewife’ and if she wasn’t out of her mind she would’ve committed murder but she’d blanched at the use of wife and scurried away, much to the boy's confusion. 

It’s when she’s doing the dishes that they get her. They ambush her like she’s an actual fucking target, happily able to temporarily forget her previously mangled state. 

One moment she’s wiping her hands dry from the suds and soapy water and the next millisecond there are terrifyingly strong arms wrapping around her middle and she feels the telltale disorienting state of Sasuke’s unfairly fast shunshin and she’s being swung downwards on what she assumes is Sasuke’s bed. Sasuke is beneath her and with that ludicrous speed he wraps his feet around her calves and genuinely fucking spreads her legs as a blur of black and yellow falls from above her and firmly grasps her wrists and pushes them either side of Sasuke and herself till she is completely restrained in a sandwich of pure and utter man. 

She is so shocked, so astounded she doesn’t even fight it at first. They also clearly fear for their lives at the threat of her chakra-enhanced strength but are even more dazed than her when instead of destroying the entire apartment block she just…accepts it like a docile little kitten. 

None of them are sure if this means her instincts took a hit along with her pride after the senbon incident or if Sakura just inherently trusts them. Which is a rather off-putting thought for herself. 

So, here they are. Sakura is spread like a starfish, Sasuke is beneath her and breathing on her neck so close that it’s faintly overstimulating and Naruto is above her, hyperventilating from the thrill of whatever the fuck they just did to her, his eyes are wild and she honestly has to give him a onceover to make sure it isn’t Kurama. 

If it were anyone else, she’d feel like prey which would end in possibly the entirety of Konoha facing destruction, not just the apartment block. 

They all take a moment to calm down and as Sakura goes to open her mouth to demand what the fuck they are doing, Naruto rushedly starts, “Wait. Please don’t speak yet. Let Sasuke and I go first. Well mostly me because Sasuke couldn’t verbalise his emotions on his own even if you held a kunai to his throat.” 

She can physically feel Sasuke’s eye roll. 

And, like the competent and very mature adult Sakura is, instead of being a normal person and nodding Sakura takes it upon herself to, with an absolute lack of filter, yell “When the fuck did you two get so big?!”. 

Naruto reels back from the unexpected screech of a question, taking a second to process and then promptly bursts out laughing and she can feel the vibrations of a very small chuckle from Sasuke. She’s not even sure how Naruto roped him into this. 

His smile is bright and big and she suddenly feels less mortified, “Comes with the job, Sakura-chan. You're really muscley yourself, you know. I can physically feel your abs.” and Sakura does not want to think about abs because she is crushed between two of the most built men she knows. 

‘I need to get out of here.’ She internally panics because, well, Sakura is still a woman. 

They all calm down at her unintentional breaking of the heavy atmosphere. She feels Naruto’s wrists loosen a little and Sasuke’s legs don’t drop but they reduce in tension. 

Sakura feels herself mollified though, at the cool expression Naruto adopts. 

“Sakura…” he starts, voice hesitant and glances behind her at Sasuke, seeking reassurance most likely.

“...we’re sorry.” they both mutter and oh Kami , Sakura is not ready for this.

Naruto takes a deep breath.

“We know that…we haven’t been the most present teammates or attentive towards you through the years and while that may have been excusable before Sasuke left, it isn’t now. I- I just, what we don’t understand is why you wouldn’t say anything? I don’t know what Sasuke said when he barged into your place a while ago even though I fucking told him not to but the Bastard does as he so desires and I imagine he confronted you but we just want to know why you, someone who always tells us what’s wrong with her wouldn’t when it was as big as this. When you went behind our backs to disestablish our team .” He finishes, eerily calm with none of that mechanical anger that usually comes out when Naruto’s frustrated. 

Sasuke hasn’t said anything, just making noncommittal noises of agreement, she imagines he filled his quota of emotive discussions when he broke into her home. 

Sakura can tell Naruto is itching to say more but he’s attempting patience so she can answer which she truly does appreciate, even if she’s still mildly upset with this ambush tactic they’ve chosen. Although, it is fitting for them, what with their lack of development in the emotions aspect. 

Sakura feels her stomach clenching and her heart feels like it’s sending the beats up into her throat. Her eyes aren’t fully open, unable to bear the loud expression of Naruto’s, “I realised my place in this team, this dynamic and you and Sasuke’s lives and I decided to let it all out instead of constantly tolerating it.” and averts her eyes from Naruto’s sapphire ones.

And yet, it isn’t Naruto who responds, “When did you have this…realisation?” Sasuke mumbles from behind, just loud enough for the both of them to hear. She feels her neck and core muscles start to ache because she hasn’t relaxed yet after being seized and she’s dangerously close to collapsing on Sasuke altogether.

“I mean there wasn’t one time, there were so many times now that I look back but I truly felt that way at one of our many Ichiraku lunches.” she tells them, a little ambiguous. In all honesty, if Sakura were any more lucid and any more stubborn than she’d be a lot more ominous with her answers but tonight all she feels is a rampant exhaustion, she just wants this interrogation to be done with. So, for tonight she will be as honest as she lets herself be, it will probably do them all good anyway. 

Naruto’s jaw literally drops, “ What? ...I mean what? How and why and what?”

Sakura jolts at his disbelief, now actually angry with him. 

Fuck the calm aura she was going for.

“What do you mean ‘what’?” She hisses, venom in her voice. “I’m not fucking Kakashi, I actually care when i’m being visibly left out. As soon as Sasuke got back from his vacation- sorry redemption journey, you two resorted to your cute little- little fucking sanctuary of domesticity and there I was again just fucking forgotten. Again. At first, I gave you two the space you wanted to fulfil your fantasies of a loving family but when you started pledging teamwork and dedication I was done . We are, never were and cannot be a team.” and now she doesn’t give a fuck about niceties or embarrassment and has no issue in letting her body fall against Sasuke built and sturdy one. If they kidnapped her, they could deal with the consequences and her exhaustion.

Giving into the urge to clench her fists, Sakura continues while Naruto is still processing, “There are too many stupid fucking emotions associated with every one here and the only one happy to ignore it is Kakashi because that’s how he copes. Chronic avoidance, as I mentioned under the influence of morphine. Anyway, I took a page out of his book. I don’t matter to you. I never mattered. You care for me Naruto because your heart's too big and has enough space for the entire global population but that’s not enough. I am your teammate or I am nothing. That’s my fucking ultimatum. I am not disposable and when I saw that I was, that I was a glorified filler, I left. I don’t owe you an explanation because as I explained that night in the bar, we aren’t a team and we never were. And I am tired, I do not want to be the one to pioneer some dead end team-bonding as a trio when it’s clear to everyone that team seven is you, Sasuke and occasionally Kakashi. And that’s fine , so let me leave.” She’s 90% sure she’s split the skin of her palms at this point but honestly she’d welcome any pain to distract from this mess. 

She can’t even escape because she’s completely healed from the mission incident but she shouldn’t really use chakra. 

Naruto is left agape, probably not expecting the blurt of words she’d let out but she’d just been so angry, so betrayed they even have to have this conversation that when she started it wouldn’t stop. Sasuke hasn’t slackened in shock like Naruto so she assumes he’s taking this a little better. Or he doesn’t care. 

“...what kind of logic…” she hears him mumble but doesn’t respond to it, aware he’s collecting his thoughts.

“I- Sakura- I mean…fuckin’ hell. Where did any of that even come from? As I said, the bastard and I have been unfair in our disregard before the war but everything , everything we did after that was for your sake. I realise it was definitely the wrong move now, how can you even think that about yourself?” he says, his voice reduced to mesh between speaking and whispering. 

“Pathetically low perceptions of yourself.” 

They both turn to Sasuke at his contribution, as a prompt for him to continue. Well, Sakura just awkwardly shifts her head to the side.

“When I came over that night. Your low perceptions of self are affecting how you view yourself in this…relationship.” he pauses on the final word, aware of the invisible bridge they cross by addressing it. 

Teammates were tossed in the trash about two abandonments ago and they all still ended up here. Together, kind of. 

Naruto looks like he’s reached an epiphany and Sakura hopes the blood on her palms doesn’t drip onto Sasuke’s sheets. Naruto, a little overwhelmed by this emotional clusterfuck drops his cushiony ass onto Sakura’s thighs. 

A moment.

Then, Naruto narrows his eyes into slits and using fucking chakra jabs Sakura’s stomach three times while enunciating, “That’s. Not. Fair.” 

“What the fuck? Naruto get off, stop that.” Sakura scolds, a little winded. 

“Since Sasuke got back you have avoided us and dodged our questions and looked so depressed at the thought of doing anything together, all because of what? Your self-doubt? Sasuke and I didn’t include you, we didn't talk to you because we thought you were annoyed with us. You always tell us everything, Sakura or you at least tell someone. You don’t bottle up, Sakura, you can’t do that. If you do- you behave all-” he waves his hands around, frantic, “-all this! ”

At some point Sasuke had taken over for Naruto in restraining her hands because Naruto desperately needs his hands to emphasise what he says. 

He leans over her again but this time Naruto clasps both hands on her cheeks, as softly as the personification of a ball of energy can, “Sakura, you have to go easy on us, okay? Sasuke and I aren’t like you or like Ino or even like that lazy-ass, Shikamaru. I can talk down a terrorising shinobi anyday, easy and the Bastard can tell someone four hundred ways he wants to kill them but we don’t do our own feelings well, at all. It took me nearly killing Sasuke just for me to get it through to him that I love him. That’s what it’s like with us, okay? You need to tell us.” 

Sakura is so, so confused, “What.”

Naruto’s palms almost seem to warm her cheeks with his energy, “We love you. Like in love, love.” and nods his head up and down like an overeager puppy. 

Sakura feels absolutely ill at that, “What?” she repeats, completely thrown. 

This is so far from where she expected this to happen, she’s not even sure if they are talking about the same thing anymore. She starts squirming again, now disturbed and alarmed by her own confusion.

In an attempt to soothe, Sasuke rubs rough thumbs on the pulse of her wrists, “What the idiot is poorly trying to articulate after what I said is Naruto and I aren’t normal. You called us inconsistent and traumatised so you should know this but because of your frankly atrocious levels of self-love or self-appreciation it doesn’t work well with us. You complete us, Sakura. And not in the way where you simply fill a missing piece but in the way where the past few months have been torturous for us because you haven’t been here, haven’t been present. You always speak about your problems. So, when you so clearly had problems with us- or with the team, we didn’t know what to do. We gave you space because that’s usually what Naruto and I like when we are upset with each other or else we get into near-death fights.We gave you space but to you that felt like we were excluding you, that we don’t care for you the way we do. Do you understand?” he attempts to explain. He feels like he’s been talking for hours but every second is worth it, so they don’t have to deal with anymore of this fucking girl and her annoying issues that she refused to tell them about. 

Sakura is so, so bewildered by what’s happening and what they are explaining. She understands what they are saying but it is unmistakably illogical. 

She shakes her head, mindful of her hair in Sasuke’s face, “No. No, no, no- it doesn’t work like that. When we were twelve you two only had eyes for each other which I get, I get that. Rivals and budding soulmate-ship and all but now, at our age and after everything there is no Sakura in this dynamic. I have said this so many times. You are soulmates, you are literally connected through Gods, you two are lock and key and you fit. I don’t. I am talking about romantic love here, dedicated and passionate fucking love. The type of love you two hold for each other, not me.” her chest is heaving now, they are all too hot, too overwhelmed and too angry at each other’s senselessness. 

At her argument two things happen.

Naruto draws his hands back a few inches and lightly slaps Sakura’s cheeks till they are a little red from exertion. 

Sasuke drops her wrists, grips her waist and his fingers dig . 

“Fuck soulmates!” Naruto actually growls, not dissimilar from a feral dog. 

“Goddamnit, Sakura! Were you listening to me at all? Or is everything I'm saying being protected by your thick forehead and not entering your brain? This is such a Goddamn mess. I am not denying the bastard and I have been narrow-minded when it came to you and your presence in our relationship but Sasuke followed Orochimaru and I followed Jiraiya, the two pervs, we aren’t exactly the pinnacle of logic. But we, Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke, love you like actual fucking love. Like the love we have for each other except we also have that love for you. What aren’t you getting?” he declares like they are in a fucking movie- it is profound, fierce and it is too much, far, far too much.

Sakura cannot fucking breathe .

Naruto’s eyes widen in unadulterated panic as he spots the trinkles of liquid falling from her eyes. 

“Oh fuck- oh, oh ohhhh fuck- i’m sorry, we’re sorry Sakura-chan. We’re sorry, please don’t cry. Oh fuck-” and starts physically wiping the tears from her eyes, no doubt reddening her skin. Sasuke doesn’t react to that degree, aware that crying for Sakura is as natural as breathing and not something she can control in highly emotionally vulnerable situations like this. 

-

They all took a little bit to calm down, while still keeping Sakura trapped. 

She takes a breath, ready to finish whatever this is before the small tendrils of hope flowing through her body get bigger, “You say all this Naruto, you declare this. You say that the past year has been your lack of thinking, your lack of emotional aptitude but I just can’t believe it. Can’t believe that this is a thing in which I am included to the same level as you two. That this is a mutually requited love for all. Not just Naruto and Sasuke and I'm only partially there.” 

Naruto feels his heart shatter at the honesty in her voice, her genuine belief that she is not a being that cannot be loved, cannot be considered amongst them.

Naruto meets Sasuke’s eyes and he can feel the helplessness radiating off him. 

Sakura is a creature of emotion, is a creature of actions and promises. Where Naruto and Sasuke understand each other through fighting, through their thought processes and through their shared history and trauma- this is an aspect of human understanding so far beyond what they know of each other. This is about something so fragile and sensitive as Sakura’s heart. 

In all honesty, Sakura has every right to be so doubtful that they are here and willing for her to be a part of this dynamic. To freely love and be loved by both of them. They were- they are both so emotionally constipated, their preferred method of dramatic metaphors and intense fights doesn’t work here. 

From Sakura’s perspective, she has constantly been dismissed by the two of them, dismissed in different ways at the various points of their lives but the last straw was their idiotic way of thinking she needed space. To Sakura, they will never be able to value her as they value the other and she can’t deal with that. She needs reassurance, needs to feel loved to match how much love she can give. She can’t just accept the type of love Naruto and Sasuke show each other because they understand each other, cosmically and not even acknowledging how one would feel left out based on that alone, Sakura doesn’t have that same mindset and she doesn’t just get things. And even that small thing, even the fact she feels she isn’t on the same wavelength is just another factor as to how she doesn’t believe they love her. 

From the boy's perspective, Sakura’s self-doubt has only gone as far as her shinobi abilities. They weren’t aware, didn’t conclude that that pure sense of inadequacy, the very negative feelings she has about herself would spread like a jam towards how she saw herself in every aspect of their ‘team’. As a shinobi, as a teammate, as a friend and as a lover. They only just realise she views herself as subpar in all aspects and they are so emotionally unaware they don’t know how to disprove that. Before and during the war, Naruto was so focused on saving Sasuke and Sasuke was so focused on his skewed goals that they believed Sakura to be fine. They believed her to trust them and herself and her place. And she did, back then because she also could see that they simply had priorities and she wasn’t one but after the war and after Sasuke’s redemption trip is when the self-doubt reached a point of no-return. 

To Naruto and Sasuke there are two types of people. 

The mentally unhealthy and the mentally healthy. They are the former, Sakura is the latter. But, what they realise is no one is completely and totally mentally healthy and that Sakura had suffered years of neglect and lack of validation from almost all authoritative figures and almost all romantic and platonic figures her whole life, she doesn’t even believe herself capable of being loved in the capacity they do for each other. But Naruto and Sasuke don’t know how to explain that they do love her, fervently and everlasting. So, they come full circle. 

Sasuke’s hands are still resting on the curvature of her waist, Sakura is resting her entire body-weight on Sasuke and Naruto is still sitting on Sakura. And as Sasuke looks into Naruto’s sapphire eyes, he has an idea. A good one? Debatable. 

Making the hand sign, he unseals a fluffy and navy blanket. Reaching up towards Naruto, he lightly guides the blonde down to lie on top of Sakura who’s on top of Sasuke so he’s bearing all their weight. 

Trying to balance his weight in a way that won’t hurt Sakura, Naruto staggers out, “Uhh…what are you doing?” while Sakura’s brows pinch in bemusement.

Very slowly, treating Sakura like one does a scared cat, Sasuke traces her hips with his hands till he feels her shiver from the sensitivity of her sides, “You get unbelievably cold, all the time, have done since we were Genin. It’s kind of sad. I carry a blanket in my wrist seal because of this but haven’t been able to show you because you never stay long enough. Naruto also carries one because I made him. The idiot also noticed that your sides are sensitive, that you don’t like when people you’re unfamiliar with move you by your hips because to receive that sensation from someone you don’t know is unsettling.” He looks at Naruto to take-over and at the glint of Naruto’s eyes he gets what Sasuke is doing.

Because the thing that sticks with Sakura is that she doesn’t think they care, doesn’t think they notice her, value her. One of the first things she mentioned, all those nights ago at the bar, was that a relationship that actually valued all that wanted to be valued, noticed the little things. While team Gai is glaringly different from their team, the fact that at the time they showed more love for each other than team seven, who were actually in love with each other (in their own fucked up ways) was a cause for genuine concern. 

Sakura has always noticed the boys; she watches her words around Sasuke because she hates when anything triggers a flashback or panic attack in the man, she shopped for the plumpest and freshest cherry tomatoes and always leaves them out for a snack because he prefers snacking on whole cherry tomatoes as opposed to regular tomatoes slices due to the mess and she knows that Sasuke still has issues gaining back certain skills with his arm so she took it upon herself to go through all his clothes and belongings and make sure the Uchiwa was on all. For Naruto, Sakura has always made it a point to care for his health in the more hidden, medical ways - she always stocks his cupboards with basic first-aid that he can never be bothered to buy, she was the one who showed him a healthier and more nutritional way to make homemade ramen beyond the instant crap he has and she always keeps spares of her own things such as beauty items or cleaning supplies or even novelty gifts in case Naruto takes an interest or finds himself unsure of what to get so he can just take hers. Even with Kakashi, Sakura makes it a point to go around to his apartment, even when she was a teen, to stock the dogs food, clean his place or even organise his literature. And despite his insolence and her poorly hidden remaining bitterness, Sakura is doing her damn best to make sure not only do they improve their relationship but that eventually it will flourish because she doesn’t know the extent but Sakura knows Kakashi has been through hell and back, just like her boys and she will accommodate as much as she can.

Sakura has a heart of gold in a different way than Naruto’s and has always held her teammates' best interest at heart, even when she was a whiny, shallow and pathetic twelve year old. 

In recent months, she has admittedly let herself get sloppy, let her selfishness win and let the discontentment become apparent but after everything the boys have been allowed to do, she’s allowed to mess up as well. 

Naruto gets as close as he can until he thinks she’ll actually be disconcerted and affirms, “You have always been there for me but I have always been there for you also, even when you didn’t know. I would’ve dropped everything during sage training if you really needed me too, I would have chased you to the ends of the earth if you left, I would’ve begged to the Raikage like I did for the bastard if I needed to, for you. It seems I'm only good with my words when I'm trying to communicate with people mentally worse off than I am but when it comes to functioning relationships…I fall a little flat…” he trails off and instead of speaking words he can’t even spring together, he chooses to act. Naruto slowly, oh so slowly, moves his head to the crook of Sakura’s neck, which is resting just at the top of Sasuke’s sternum and starts leaving barely-there subtle kisses along the scope of her neck towards her clavicle, if anything they are more just touches of his lips to her skin then actual kisses before coming to a stop and simply resting there.

He starts speaking against, voice matching the calmed atmosphere, “...doubt yourself, doubt us all you want but then at least let us be there like you’ve been all these years for us. So we can show you our love when you feel doubt.” 

Sasuke grunts in rough agreement, still stroking her waist and hips and tracing the muscle and little scars littering that area of her body. “We can attempt to show you. That everything is returned but you have to be patient and have to explain a lot to us without jumping to assumptions which I know will be hard especially the last bit but if we want this to work in the slightest it will take multiple aspects of… compromise .” Sakura giggles at the end of it, tears starting to fall again, “Uchiha Sasuke? Compromise?” and Naruto huffs in amusement.

Sasuke pinches her side but even he feels so much lighter, like when you’ve had a bad year and then Spring comes and everything is afresh and you get to try again and give life a go. 

Reluctantly but unable to refrain anymore, Sakura brings her hands to melt in the back of Naruto’s hair. Musing it up, stroking his head and bringing him into an all encompassing hug while she lightly turns her own head to meet the crook of Sasuke’s neck. 

Freezing at the act of another person initiating the affection Sasuke takes a minute before steadily relaxing into it and while one hand rests on her hip, the other comes up and around to rest on the back of Naruto’s thigh.

It feels drastic, like they went from 100 to 0 but it also makes perfect sense for the complexity that is team seven. They are not connected in a way where unnecessary words are needed, they have said what they need to for now and more can come later.

Sakura, aware they are all about to drift asleep from the come down after the emotional rollercoaster, says her final piece, “I’ll try. You’re right that all of us could’ve handled this better, could’ve communicated this better but tomorrow we will have an actual and coherent conversation about details and boundaries and- and reassurance but I will try.”

Naruto just squeezes her, too weak to resist the temptation of sleep anymore so Sasuke takes it upon himself to whisper on behalf of both, “That’s all we can ask. We realise in comparison to you, the idiot and I have far more to work on to get even a semblance of a healthy relationship but that’s tomorrow's problem. For now, sleep.” and his mismatched eyes meet her jade ones. 

Naruto while not emotionally mature, has always been free with his affections for both of them, has always found no issue is acting as he so wants to when it comes to intimacy so both Sasuke and Sakura know out of the three of them for the hard and emotional conversations, for the honesty regarding feelings for one another it will be most difficult for them. Sakura knows her history, knows how easily she threw around saying ‘i love you’ when it came to Sasuke but so much of that was superficial compared to real and true things that she feels now and it is so much harder now. 

Sensing the slowly building complications arising in her mind, Sasuke inclines towards her and so softly and quietly whispers a final, “Don’t overthink it. Just sleep.” and Sakura stills as he moves inches closer to plant an extremely gentle, slight kiss on her upper lip. It is the most open and heart-wrenching affection anyone has ever shown her that Sakura can’t help the last few tears that gracefully roll down her cheeks. She gazes as Sasuke gives her a minute twitch of the lips and closes his eyes.

Thankfully, she is too tired for her hyperactive brain to keep going so as she joins her boys in sleep the only thing she can think of feeling in the moment is immeasurable and smothering relief.

-

The first thing Sakura does when she sees Kakashi in his office, far too late than he should be here, post heart-to-heart with her boys is grab him by the sleeve and force him home. 

It’s safe to say he follows like a limp noodle.

She doesn’t say anything as she shunshin’s them back to the apartment he refuses to let go of. 

“Mah, mah Sakura-chan. This place has been mine for far too long now, I couldn’t simply give it up in light of my new celebrity status.” He dawdled when she’d questioned why he doesn’t take permanent residence in the Hokage suit. 

“So you CAN form an emotional attachment to things?” she retorted, dryly.

When they get into his place, it’s past midnight and there is no activity beyond the night ANBU guards who know that Sakura is one of very few people permitted to do as she so pleases with Kakashi. She hasn’t yet tested the limits of what they will allow her to do. 

Taking off her outer layers till she’s clad in her bindings and a pair of boyshorts, she grabs an old shirt of Kakashi’s and looks at him before demanding, “Strip, change and get in bed.” Neither of them care about lots of exposed skin, far too scared of emotional vulnerability to ever care about something as trivial as nakedness. The only thing that stays hidden is Kakashi’s face. 

Sakura inviting herself into his safe space though? This is uncharted territory. So, when she looks back at him when he doesn’t move, she can tell this is no longer his ‘play the fool’ persona he typically displays but ‘distrusting shinobi’ Kakashi. 

He tilts his head to the side like she’s his enemy and she supposes, in this situation, she kind of is. She breached domain and now he must assess his next course of action. 

“ Mah , Sakura. What exactly are you attempting to do?” 

She sighs and turns to give him one last glance and her face deadpans, eyes drooping to replicate Kakashi himself, “Emotional intimacy, Sensei. Come on now.” and enters his bedroom, patiently waiting for him to process and then follow. 

Moments later when Kakashi has lost all his shinobi clothes and instead just has a lycra sleeveless turtle-neck vest on, a staple from his ANBU days, black sweats and his mask, he gives her a dry look. 

Sakura doesn’t so much as twitch when she lifts the cover to the opposite of the bed she’s welcomed herself into, “Come on Sensei, let’s cuddle.”

He surveys her like he does a newly purchased Kunai when he’s stocking up; looking for flaws as even the slightest weight difference can make or break a fight. 

Since the war and since the unvoiced ‘let’s work on our relationship’ thing Kakashi and Sakura have had going on, this is the very first time Sakura is taking the initiative. Previously she believed, as he was the one to fuck-up in the first place all those years ago that Kakashi should be the only one making the big steps- making the amends. 

What Sakura has learnt from entering an extremely fragile and layered relationship with Naruto and Sasuke (which she hasn’t even told Kakashi about yet) is that you cannot treat these types of people like how Sakura would expect to be treated. Sasuke, Naruto, Kakashi, Neji…there are steps and there are ways of getting closer and more intimate with the other that you have to plan and gamble with. 

When making a big move; for Sakura it takes a few days, it takes her boys about years or it takes them seconds with no accosting to boundaries. You can picture who is who. 

Kakashi falls in the takes years sector. So, Sakura is taking the initiative. 

Sensing nothing but budding honesty and loose hope in Sakura’s orbs, Kakashi breaches the bridge. 

He cuddles. 

They are facing each other, a failed mentor and a successful student and Kakashi hasn’t felt the desperate call to escape, avoid and fucking run yet. Well he does but no more than he usually does, which is a very good sign. 

He slowly wills his heart to stop rapidly palpitating at the vulnerability of everything, he’s very glad the curtains are closed and the seals are up so no sneaking ANBU guards get a look at Hatake Kakashi being exposed. 

“Any reason for this new, daring step, Sakura? I don’t mean to hurt your feelings but I think you’re moving too fast and I'm just not ready for you to move in with me yet.” he drones, forcing the sarcasm and false-sense of casualness to relax the both of them. 

Sakura doesn’t joke back or make a sardonic remark of her own but instead reaches out and links her forefinger around his own, “Naruto and Sasuke want me to join their weird established but not really relationship. Like a loving relationship. As a couple, or throuple in this case.”

Kakashi’s eyebrows raise a little but apart from that he shows no other reaction, just keeping his finger linked with hers, a way of keeping her calm,“I see. And is that something you want? Something you actually want, not something you’re forcing yourself to want?” he softly inquires. 

Sakura smiles, eyes gentle and heart melting, her sensei has irrevocably made mistakes along the way. The type of mistakes that are so immense, so extensive, that you cannot even attempt to make peace with them but alas, her dawdling, stingy and impossible sensei cares and he most definitely loves . In his own hermit-style way. 

She gives a little nod, “Yes, I think so. It isn’t the emotions that are confusing, I think I've felt more than platonic love for them for a while now… It’s more so the trust and the faith I have to place in them that concerns me. I’ll spare you the gruesome, sickly details of my insecurities but it’s a lot to place my heart in the hands of the two people who’ve hurt it the most.” she tells him, so blindly trusting him with the thoughts she hasn’t told anyone with such an ease before. 

He nods in reassurance, understanding her worries, “My condolences for your decision and the future that awaits.” he says, playfully, wanting to keep his Kunoichi feeling light. He sobers up though, steeling himself and letting his genuinity bleed into his voice, “I think you can, trust them that is. If you even need my opinion because I know you’ll do what you want anyway. Although, remember Sakura-chan, for you I'll always be happy to have an impromptu late night therapy session.” and takes the next step as he wraps his middle finger around hers in addition. 

She gingerly smiles, “I’ll always want your opinion, sensei. Not right now though, I'm sleepy and I already had a very emotional heart-to-heart with the boys last night. Tears, snot and all. I don’t have it in me for another right now.” 

Kakashi huffs in mirth, “What did Ino say? Or Sai, for that matter? I would love to hear his bluntness about this.” but stops as Sakura's eyebrows crinkle and watches as her eyes follow, a vivid smile blossoming on her face. 

She’s not able to keep the fondness out of her voice, “You’re the first person I told, Kakashi-sensei. Who else but you?” and Kakashi’s breath catches in his throat. 

Before tonight, Kakashi would make unassuming jokes or mocking and slightly cynical comments about Sakura’s place in his life. The most open being what he’d said in her hospital room following the mortifying senbon incident but as opposed to this, Sakura very rarely gave her own affirmation of Kakashi’s place in her life. Most likely because she’d already said so before the war ended but also because now that she’s so much more guarded, she doesn’t want to risk vulnerability when there’s no guarantee for return. And yet, all it took was one unguarded heart to heart with the two she loves for her to be able to state this, uncaring for how unprotected it leaves her heart.

Kakashi can’t quite find the words to respond to that, is never really able to find the right words and so, he acts. Sakura made the first hurdle and he will join her at the next one. He takes the final plunge and fully interlinks all the fingers of his left hand with hers. The fact their hands are hidden under the covers heightens the intimacy and trust of it all. 

Sakura isn’t too sure what she feels for Kakashi. He’s not really open and affectionate enough to be a father, she’s seen far too much of him and all his grossness for her to be sexually attracted to him and he’s just so awful at teaching she only really calls him sensei for the nostalgia of it. She thinks, if she had to categorise her relationship with Kakashi it would be the balance of having ‘a person’, a platonic soulmate in which she can trust with all her secrets and also set the most curious of boundaries with but also having someone she can be human with. Because, when Sakura looks at Kakashi she can’t resist the threads of bitterness and resentment that come to fruition when she’s reminded of their rather rocky past but as she gets closer with him everyday, gets to know Hatake Kakashi, those threads thin and lessen everytime. In the most peculiar and unforeseen ways, Kakashi has become a permanent necessity in Sakura’s life who she can’t imagine going at most three days without seeing. 

With hands linked and the calmest they’ve felt in another's presence since the war, they sleep. 

-

Sakura is panting and her chest is heaving; she’s flushed red from the apple of her cheeks to the tips of her nipples. 

She’s leaning against Naruto’s stunningly built chest as his cocks pressed into the hole of her backside, not moving, simply erect and snug inside. 

He’s tracing her front, light and sneaky fingers trailing up and down her flushed stomach, occasionally brushing and stimulating her nipples- not pinching or prodding them but just brushing them. Unbelievable fucking tease . 

Sasuke is placing featherlight kisses down her stomach and she knows what his goal is and her core clenches in thinly-veiled anticipation. His hair is long, spiky and beautiful; he’s taken to tying it up into a low knot at the back, even though it’s not really long enough for all of it to go into a pony, as it only reaches his shoulders but it is so attractive she quite literally combusts when she so much as glances at him. He’s also being made to wear glasses as a precaution for his eyesight, sharingan and all and it sets her insides fucking ablaze. 

As Sasuke meets her absolutely debauched gaze, he trails his long, long finger through her pussy, glancing as it pulses at even the lightest touch he grants her. 

Enhancing her pleasure, Naruto is now full-on kneading her breasts, icy cold hands bringing a jaw-dropping contrast of sensations. She reaches both hands to grasp the rumpled bed sheets, rolls her head back and arches. 

Sakura had come back from a double at the hospital overstimulated, touchy and just wanting to let-go and of course, her boys were there to help her. 

Naruto had taken one look at her defeated form and ushered her to her a nice cooling shower while he squawked at Sasuke to ‘hurry it up’ with dinner like the diva he is. He’d undressed her, taken her in the shower together and in an act of such love and dedication washed her all over till she came out of the shower flushed but feeling less deathly. Then he had dressed her in some spare clothes of his and Sasuke’s, pushed her towards the sofa with a steaming plate of dinner and let herself eat and simply basque in their presence, not really talking as he and Sasuke discussed any topic endlessly.

They all had their days; the bad, the off, the exceedingly wonderful and the need to simply disappear. Typically, it was Sasuke but Sakura and Naruto had their fair share. A healing evening looked different for everyone but for Sakura it was just the desire to feel loved and appreciated and then a long, uninterrupted night of raw and unfiltered sex. 

Everyone had their ways of letting go and Sakura let go in the enthrals of an orgasm beyond her own control. And Naruto and Sasuke were much too eager to comply and command.

Reaching down to grip Sasuke’s hair as he eats her out, Naruto instead restrains her wrists above her head and beside his own. It sends gleeful thrills down to her core and she clenches as she feels Sasuke fuck her with his tongue and then move to suck on her clit. It’s absolutely exhilarating.

Hours and many orgasms later, the three of them are freshly bathed and satiated and are about to sleep, uncaring that the sun is slowly rising. They are in Sasuke’s room today and naturally the Uchiha invested in expensive and high-quality blackout curtains. The sheets are askew, only covering parts of the three bodies but they are still all a little flushed from their strenuous activities and then the steaming shower so the cool air in the room is welcome.

She’s in the middle, as she prefers to be, due to the heat both the boys radiate. Typically they alternate; Naruto craves affection and Sakura and Naruto make Sasuke go in the middle sometimes because he likes to act like he doesn’t love it (he does).

She’s half laying on her back, half sideways stretched across the two accompanying bodies. Her face is pressed on the hard pecs of Sasuke’s chest, while her lower half is sort of draped on Naruto’s chest and thighs. Naruto has a grip on one of her thighs and he’s absolutely knocked out, he has the ability to nap anytime and anywhere (a taught behaviour from Shikamaru) so he’s always the first to sleep. One of Sakura’s hands is laced securely with Sasuke and they are quietly whispering amongst each other, mindful of the passed-out blonde as they both take much longer to be accepted into the wistful state of sleep. 

But Sasuke gives a fond smile as Sakura sporadically yawns and softly commands, “Go to sleep, you’ve had an exhausting past forty-eight hours.” stroking the back of her hands with his thumb. Nodding in compliance, Sakura doesn’t have even an inch of willingness to fight it any further and softly rests her eyes but not before feeling an adoring kiss placed on her lips, followed by another kiss on the naked skin of her ribs from Naruto who wasn’t as asleep as they thought. 

Surrounded in the blissful atmosphere of her two loves, Sakura knows that regardless of whatever internal and external obstacles they may face, she trusts them and they trust her and that is enough. They defeated the Goddess of chakra together, anything else life throws at them they will conquer it together, as a team.