Work Text:
[EX'S & OH'S]
It was a nice day at the mall. Everyone was shopping for whatever they wanted, and Helltaker and his family were among those people. Helltaker was on the hunt for tools, Pandemonica was on the lookout for top-notch coffee makers, Modeus was perusing the bookstore to add to her collection, the Cerberuses were on a mission for candy and toys, Malina was exploring the gaming store, Zdrada was browsing at Hot Topic, Azazel, Justice, and Judgement were checking out the sports store, Lucifer was indulging in a wine store, in search of the most finest wines suited for a queen, and Angela was at the food court as she was hungrier than a motherfucker. Overall, the family were doing their own thing and were chilling.
Out of everyone, Malina was enjoying herself the most; her favorite video game store was having a massive sale, so she was buying whatever the hell she could get her hands on, and she bought a lot of stuff, which was putting it as lightly as possible. The Sour Demon was having a good day.
Malina smiled adorably, wagging her tail back and forth akin to a dog. "I can't wait to play these," she said. "All I need is Rokita, and I'm straight."
"Mally?"
Instantly, Malina perked up at the name 'Mally'. Mally was Malina's nickname, but even then, she strongly hated it. Honestly, she hated nicknames because the names people gave her were butt-fucking stupid. There was only one person she allowed to call herself Mally. Malina turned around and came face-to-face with a muscular woman with dark-brown hair that reached her neck. From the look on Malina's face, she knew the woman.
"J-Jodie?" Malina asked, wide-eyed. "What are you doing here?"
The woman, regarded as Jodie, though her actual name was Jodin Thurston, grinned. "I was buying a game when I spotted you," she said, looking down at Malina's large bags of games before chuckling. "You certainly had a fun time shopping. Nice to see you haven't lost your love for gaming."
"The same could be said for you," Malina said, gesturing to Jodin's bag, which had a game and a few figures and cards. "You haven't changed."
Jodin grinned. "Not one bit, Mally," she admitted. "But you on the other hand? You've changed a lot, and that's putting it as lightly as possible. babycakes." Jodin playfully poked Malina's cheeks. "For instance, you've gotten a lot prettier. Honestly, I wish the same could be applied to me."
"Stop that, you clown," a blushing Malina gently swatted Jodin's hand away from her cheek. "You know I hate it when you get all touchy-feely."
Jodin shrugged her shoulders. "Just showing my love, honey," she said casually. "We're exes, but that doesn't mean we can't be pals." Jodin and Malina were once in a romantic relationship, but events led to their breakup. Thankfully, they were able to maintain a healthy friendship and continue to stay in touch. "Enough about me, what about you? What has the Sour Demon been up to these days? You still have that janitor job?"
"Well..." Malina began, rubbing her arm. "I'm actually-"
"MONSTER HUNTER!"
Out of nowhere, Angela slides between Jodin and Malina. Jodin was taken aback by the unexpected presence of the younger girl, whereas Malina was annoyed, rolling her red eyes. In the Sour Demon's mind, she knew the villainous Satanist was going to do something incredibly embarrassing.
"You keep your hands off Malina if you know what's good for you!" Jodin arched an eyebrow, while Malina facepalmed. "I've heard all about you!"
Jodin, confused, looked to Malina, then looked to Angela. "You know this kid?" she asked. "She's extremely protective of you, like really protective."
"She's-"
"Angela, the dark student of Lucifer Morningstar! The Queen of Hell, the Prince of Darkness, the Icon of Sin, the-GAH!"
Malina bonked Angela hard on the head. "Will you shut up and stop embarrassing me?!" Malina liked Angel...mostly, but the damn brat could get on her nerves at times, especially when they started glazing Lucifer, who wasn't even appealing in her opinion. "Jodie, this is Angela, a gaming buddy."
"Uh..." Jodie scratched her head. The woman wasn't sure how to react to Angela appropriately, but the best she could do was be nice. "Nice to me-"
"Don't try to be friendly with me, monster hunter!" Angela growled ferally, rudely slapping Jodin's hand away. "I know what you're trying to do!"
Jodin was starting to get annoyed, though she managed to hold in her frustration. "What're you talking about?" she asked. "I'm not doing anything."
Angela scoffed. "Liar!" she said. "I know everything about you. You're Jodin Thurston, an infamous monster hunter coming from a long line of monster hunters, the Thurstons." Jodin was surprised by the fact that someone, particularly a much younger girl, recognized her and her profession as a monster hunter. Truthfully, she didn't do much to keep her profession hidden and was rather open about it, but still. "You're going to kill Malina, aren't you? Lure her into a false sense of security by being sweet, then kill her when she least expects it! I won't let you do a damn thing."
"I'm not trying to kill her!" Jodin argued. "I would never do such a thing!"
Angela folded her arms. glaring daggers at Jodin. "Why the hell should I believe you, monster hunter?" she asked, defensively. "It's only a matter of time before you go after Lucifer." Angela deeply cared for Lucifer. Of course, the Queen of Hell was more than capable of defending herself, but that didn't mean she couldn't receive protection when necessary. "It's better to stop a problem before it begins and escalate into something worse."
Angela reached into her pocket and pulled out a pocket knife. Where did she get a pocket knife? Fuck you, that's where.
Anyone in Jodin's shoes would've been scared, but not Jodin. "See, now we're being ridiculous," she said. "I'm not going to hurt Malina or anybody."
"Die, bitch!" Angela screamed.
The teenager tried stabbing Jodin in the neck, but the monster hunter stuck a hand out, halting the knife but also breaking it on contact. Naturally, Angela was shocked, but at the same time she wasn't. The villain-in-training knew Thurstons were powerful, so she'd have to use alternate means.
"Looks like I'll have to bust out the heavy artillery." Angela's hands glowed bright green, the cultist using magic. "Prepare for death by-"
WHAM!
Once again, Malina hit Angela over the head. "Cut it out!" she exclaimed. "Lucifer told you not to use magic unless it's necessary."
"But it is necessary," whined Angela, giving Malina puppy-dog eyes. "That woman is a monster hunter; she's a major threat to us, she's-"
"My best friend, dumbass!" Malina cried out, taking Angela by surprise. "I've known her since we were kids!"
Angela looked like she'd seen a ghost. "You freaking know her?!" she asked, grabbing Malina by the shirt and pulling her close. "So, you're telling me that you're best fucking friends forever with the monster hunter, but somehow you conveniently forgot to mention that little detail? Seriously?!"
Malina pushed Angela away, sternly yet gently. "I didn't think it mattered," she countered. "It's not like you jackasses asked about my life."
"Now that you know that I'm not trying to kill Mally, can you stop freaking out?" Jodin asked, annoyed. "Like I said, I'm not a threat to anyone here."
Angela turned back to Jodin, glaring daggers at the muscular woman. "I still don't trust you, monster hunter," she said. "You're not a problem...yet." Lucifer, and by extension, the rest of the members in her dad's harem, had enemies, so there was no telling whether Jodin would become one, too.
"I swear to god, this kid..." Jodin sighed, facepalming. "I only attack unless I'm given a good reason to-"
"What's going on in here?"
"Ayo! Is that my bitch, Jodie?!"
All eyes were on Helltaker and Zdrada, along with the rest of Helltaker's harem, inside the gaming store. Almost immediately, Jodin's personality takes a turn, and a wide smile forms on her face. Like Malina, she and Zdrada were close friends, having known each other since they were runts.
"Drads!" Jodine exclaimed, waving to Zdrada. "Didn't think I'd see you here!"
Zdrada chuckled, blowing out smoke. "You know me, just fucking around and shit," she said before shifting her focus to Angela. "Hey, Taker Jr."
"Taker Jr?" Jodin tilted her head, confused. "I thought her name was Angela or something?"
"It is," Helltaker confirmed with a small nod, carrying a bag filled with tools. "I still don't know what's going on here. Who are you, exactly?"
"I would like to know the same thing," Lucifer agreed with her arms folded, standing by Helltaker. The Queen of Hell had little knowledge about Jodin, but it was clear from the start that they were anything but an ordinary mortal. Lucifer had a keen awareness whenever Angela tapped into her magical power; after all, it was actually her power as she granted the young cultist the power to use it. For her pupil to use her power was alarming.
All eyes were on Jodin and she sighed. "I'm-"
"A monster hunter!" Angela intervened.
"Malina's ex-girlfriend," Zdrada smirked, earning surprised looks from her friends. "Why y'all looking at me like that? You've seen lesbos before."
"One at a time, dammit!" Lucifer said, annoyed. "Jesus, why the hell is everything a struggle with you people?"
"I ask myself that every day..." Pandemonica muttered, taking a small sip of her coffee.
Malina facepalmed at the stupidity on display. "For the love of all things...look!" Malina poked Jodin in the cheek. "This is my friend, Jodin Thurston. As Angela said, she's a monster hunter, and as Zdrada said, she's my ex-girlfriend." A few members of Helltaker's harem opened their mouths, but Malina stopped them before they could say anything. "Before any of you nosey bastards say anything, we dated back when we were younger, but things didn't work out, mainly because of her monster-hunting career, which took up a lot of time, so we decided it'd be best if we stayed friends."
"Ah, I get it," said Justice, nodding in understanding. "Career-based breakups are the worst."
"At least they're still friends," Azazel added. "Better to leave with something than nothing."
"We never knew Malina had a sexy phase," said the Cerberuses simultaneously. "We always thought she was straight."
Modeus eyed Jodin up and down. "Makes you wonder what the sex was like," she said shamelessly. "Who was the top and who was the bottom?"
"I'd like it if we didn't talk about our relationship or lack thereof," Jodin said, slightly embarrassed, but not as much as Malina. "Let's change topics."
"Malina said you were a monster hunter," Judgement said, her arms folded. "Care to explain to us what that's all about?"
Jodin scratched the back of her head. "As the title implies, I'm a monster hunter, hailing from a very long line of monster hunters with a famous/infamous legacy that stretches across generations," she explained, earning herself looks of surprise from mostly everyone. Most of the ladies in Helltaker's harem knew monsters existed, but they never met anyone who actually hunted them down. "When a monster comes around causing havoc, I swoop in and kick their ass. I've been a hunter since I was a tyke, but that's a story for another time. Angela, your buddy, knew who I was—not sure how—and became defensive, assuming that I posed a threat to Malina, whom I was conversing with at the time of our meet."
Everyone, minus Jodin, turned to Angela. "What?" Angela said defensively. "Excuse me for trying to protect a friend! I mean, she's a freaking Thurston, for crying out loud; there's no telling what she or the rest of her family would do to us if we made the slightest mistake. I'm helping us."
"Is she always like this?" Jodin asked, turning to Helltaker. "She thinks I'm some kind of menace."
Helltaker could only shrug in response. "I'm sorry, my daughter's very protective of her family," he answered. "I hope she didn't do anything crazy."
"She was good...for the most part." To avoid causing issues, Jodin omitted the portion where the girl tried to stab her. "Definitely an odd one."
"Alright, we wasted enough time here," Lucifer said walking out of the game store for a few others following her. "Come on, family. Let's go home."
"Guess that's my cue to leave," Jodin said to Malina and Zdrada. "If you guys need me, you have my number. We can hang out like the old times."
Malina smiled. "I'd like that," she said. "There's so much for us to talk about."
"Catch you later, nerd." Zdrada gave Jodin a brutish yet friendly nuggy. "Don't be a stranger!"
Malina and Zdrada said their goodbyes before taking their leave. Angela was the only person left. "Shouldn't you be going with everyone else?"
"You may not be an enemy, but I still don't trust you," Angela said. "I'm watching you, Thurston."
Angela began to walk out of the game store only to trip. "You okay," Jodie asked, jokingly.
"S-Shut up!" Angela said, blushing, before running out of the store.
"Fucking hell..." Jodin said, shaking her head. "What a day this has been..."
[END]