“So you're telling me, you walked into a weird little store, grabbed a strange looking necklace and now there's three of you?” Oikawa squeaked, trying to pry Iwaizumi’s(or, well, one of the three Iwaizumi’s) hands off his thigh. He was extremely red-faced and exhausted. Not to mention, so confused that he was almost certain this was some weird dream. Or maybe a fantasy? Only his kinkiest dreams would have three Iwaizumi Hajimes in front of him.

*

Oikawa had come home from the grocery store to find his boyfriend on their couch, looking more agitated than usual. “What’s wrong, Iwachan?” he had asked in a quiet voice, sliding into the sofa next to Iwaizumi and offering a comforting hand on his shoulder. Iwaizumi had looked up, his face switching from irritation to something softer. But before he could speak, Oikawa felt hands snaking around his middle as he was pulled backwards into a strong, very familiar embrace. Oikawa looked back to see…Iwaizumi holding onto him from behind, his chin hooked to Oikawa's shoulder. This Iwaizumi had smirked at him and Oikawa almost passed out. He looked between the two Iwaizumis, wondering how long he had been sleeping and if he really wanted to wake up.

“Hi, beautiful.” the Iwaizumi behind him whispered into his ear and Oikawa felt his vision fading to black.

He woke up on the sofa, a very anxious and worried Iwaizumi looming over him.

“Iwachan?” he squeaked, reaching out to take Iwaizumi's hand in his. “Iwachan, I had the weirdest dream. There were two of you and-”

“Not a dream, Tooru.” Iwaizumi said, softly. His features contorted into one of extreme worry and melancholy. Oikawa had seen that face on Iwaizumi on occasions when he was exceedingly stressed. The last time he had looked at Oikawa like that was when he had asked Oikawa to move in with him, 2 years after his move back from Argentina.

“Not a dream?" Oikawa repeated, sitting up straight.

“No, dumbass. It's not a dream.” Oikawa jumped at the sudden rough voice coming from the other side of the room. He leaped up from the sofa to his feet as he took in the scene: facing the sofa, leaning on the opposite wall was…Iwaizumi? He looked extremely annoyed. A stark contrast to the anxious and fidgety Iwaizumi still sitting on the sofa.

“You all need to stop stressing out my Tooru.” Said a softer voice and a hand touched Oikawa's waist, pulling him towards a hard chest. Oikawa yelped as he looked up into… Iwaizumi's face? But this Iwaizumi…looked different. He had an unbearably fond look on his face and his eyes seemed to be blind to anything in the world that wasn't Oikawa. In this strange and unbelievable situation,(possibly a dream) this Iwaizumi was the one that bothered Oikawa the MOST.

The Iwaizumi leaning on the wall stirred. He'd walked over to where Oikawa was in the arms of the other(?) Iwaizumi and wrenched the two apart.

“Stop doing that.” Grumpy Iwaizumi gritted out to the overly touchy Iwaizumi.

“Doing what?” Touchy Iwaizumi challenged.

“Stop touching him.” Grumpy Iwaizumi demanded.

“He is quite literally my boyfriend.” Touchy Iwaizumi said, poking the other Iwaizumi in the chest.

“No, he isn't. That's my boyfriend.” Grumpy Iwaizumi said, grabbing the other Iwaizumi's hand and twisting it.

“Guys!” Six pairs of eyes in the room turned to the Iwaizumi still on the sofa. He still looked jittery and affected. “Wouldn’t it be better if we explained all this to Oikawa first? He looks about ready to pass out.”

*

“When you say it like that, I sound stupid.” Anxious Iwaizumi said from next to Oikawa.

“We don’t have time to debate on that right now, Iwachan. There’s three of you. I think this strange necklace split you into your three most prominent personalities.” Oikawa said, holding onto touchy Iwaizumi’s hand as it was creeping up his shorts again.

“How the hell do you know that’s what happened?” Grumpy Iwaizumi grumbled. He was still leaning against the opposite wall, while the two other Iwaizumis accompanied Oikawa on the couch.

“That’s what usually happens in the movies and shows.” Oikawa waved his hand dismissively. “Iwachan, stop being a perv!” He directed in a tough tone at the Iwaizumi who kept trying to wrestle Oikawa into his lap. “Okay, we have to assign different names to the three of you. It’s confusing enough as it is.”

“And then what?” Grumpy Iwaizumi asked, moving over to the couch and planting himself between Oikawa and touchy Iwaizumi.

“Well, then we go back to the creepy store and see if we can find the necklace to fuse all of you back together. Obviously.” Oikawa rolled his eyes.

“Why are you so calm with all of this?” Anxious Iwaizumi asked.

“I’m still convinced this is a dream. And dealing with so many of you is tiring me out too much to react. Okay so. You’re still behaving the most like Iwachan. Like a jerk. ” Oikawa says, pointing at grumpy Iwaizumi. “So you’ll be Iwachan. And you-” he points at touchy Iwaizumi who just grins at him, “will be Hajime. And you will be Haji-chan. Because Iwachan is taken. Right. Let’s go then.”  Oikawa stood up.

“Wait wait wait. Why is he Hajime?” Iwachan said, pointing at Hajime next to him.

Oikawa turned red again. “Because that’s what I call you when…when we-we’re-”

“When we’re making love?” Hajime offered with a sly smile and Oikawa squeaked.

“You disgust me.” Iwachan said at Hajime, hitting his arm.

“It’s not my fault he likes me the most. ” Hajime said, sticking out his tongue.

“I absolutely hate this, can we please get going?” Oikawa said, walking towards the door.

“Oikawa, we can’t just walk to the store like this.” Haji-chan called after him. Oikawa paused and turned around.

“Why not?” Oikawa asked, placing his hand on his hip.

“There are three exactly identical people.” Haji-chan pointed out. “That will raise some questioning glances along the way.”

Oikawa considered him. “I don’t think that’s a big deal. But still let’s get you into some disguise.”

30 minutes later, Oikawa and the three Iwaizumis headed out. Oikawa had Hajime clinging to his arm as he absolutely insisted he had to appear as Oikawa’s boyfriend or else he wouldn't go. Iwachan had pasted on a fake mustache, Haji-chan was wearing a pair of glasses and a purple wig. Hajime had picked Oikawa’s favorite shirt and paired it with a pair of gray joggers. They looked like an odd family, trudging through the crowd of people all busy on their way.

“Hajime, please.” Oikawa whimpered, once again wrenching Hajime’s hands away from his ass. “We’re in public .”

“Can’t help it, Tooru. You look delectable in my hoodie.” Hajime said, pecking Oikawa on the cheek. A hand separated them and pushed Hajime away from him.

“You’re being so embarrassing right now.” Iwachan said in a grumpy tone. “Stop bothering him.”

“You’re just jealous because it’s not you touching him.” Hajime countered, pushing past Iwachan to snake his arm back around Oikawa.

Oikawa sighed. “You’re both getting on my nerves.” he said, pushing Hajime away from him. He stopped walking and pulled Haji-chan towards him. “You two walk behind me and Haji-chan. Haji-chan is the least annoying Iwachan right now.”

Both Iwaizumis seemed offended at being replaced by another Iwaizumi but complied with Oikawa’s demands.

Haji-chan was blushing crimson when Oikawa took his hand and started walking forward.

“Why are you being shy?” Oikawa asked, incredulous.

“N-nothing.” Haji-chan said, trying to look away to hide his face. That made Oikawa giggle.

“What? What’s wrong, Iwachan?” Oikawa said, grabbing Haji-chan’s chin and turned him to face him.

Haji-chan turned even redder and just smiled shyly. Oikawa giggled again.

“Oh my god, you are sooo cute, Iwachan!” he said, pulling at Iwaizumi’s cheeks.

“I thought I was Iwachan?” Grumpy Iwaizumi said, pulling Oikawa away from the other Iwaizumi. Oikawa laughed even harder.

“You’re jealous of yourself?” he gasped, holding his stomach which had begun hurting. “You’re both jealous of yourself.” Oikawa said, looking between Iwachan and Hajime, who both had frowns on their faces.

“We’re wasting time.” Iwachan said, grabbing Oikawa’s hand and dragging him forward. Oikawa went, giggling all the way.

“Can you be a bit more gentle with him?” Hajime said, trying to grab Oikawa’s other hand.

“Yes, thank you, Hajime. Stop being such a brute, Iwachan.” Oikawa said, stopping Iwachan and taking his hand away so he could hold hands with Hajime instead. The reactions were instantaneous and gold. Hajime lit up like a christmas tree, his eyes sparkling and Iwachan frowned deeper, looking straight ahead as he marched on.

Oikawa hung back with Hajime and raised his hand to place a kiss on it. Hajime looked ready to float. “It’s so strange seeing you this expressive for so long, Hajime.” Oikawa said quietly to the Iwaizumi next to him. “Usually moments like these are…fleeting.”

Hajime looked at him guiltily. “I can’t always be like this. Because of them mostly.” he pointed at the other Iwaizumis. “But know that I’m always present somewhere.”

Oikawa laughed. “It’s weird to hear you talk like that. But I don’t think I could handle a flirty Iwachan all the time. Not good for my heart.”

“Well, I do have that effect on people.” Hajime said, rubbing his nose. It made Oikawa snort and hit him lightly on the arm.

“I hate both of you right now.” Iwachan said from in front of them.

“The store’s just around the corner.” Haji-chan said.

*

“What a weird little store, Iwachan.” Oikawa commented, looking around the small store filled with shelves upon shelves of trinkets. “Why did you come in here in the first place?”

“I wanted to get you a gift.” Hajime said, standing behind Oikawa and snaking his arms around his waist. He rested his chin on Oikawa’s shoulder and inhaled his scent. “You smell good.”

Oikawa blushed, breaking away from Iwaizumi’s embrace and walked around the store, surveying the items. “All these objects look like they could be props in movie sets.”

“Because they are.” Said a strange voice and all 3 Iwaizumis moved to shield Oikawa from whoever had just spoken. They moved to see an old woman, wearing a shiny robe and a purple turban walk in from behind a curtain. “These are all movie props.” She said in a quiet voice. She looked over at the three Iwaizumis and smiled. “Triplets? Interesting. Would you three be interested in being cast for a movie?”

“No. We’re here looking for a necklace.” Iwachan said, moving closer to the old woman. “It had a purple gem locket? And the chain was silver. It was around there, somewhere.” Iwaizumi said, pointing to the back of the store.

The woman shrugged. “The store has a lot of items, son. Feel free to look around and pick anything you like. I’ll give you the items for free if you agree to that casting call.” The woman winked and walked back behind her curtain.

“So she clearly has no idea about the magic gem stone.” Oikawa said, walking over to where Iwaizumi had pointed and looking through the shelves.

“Careful, idiot. Don’t touch any of that stuff.” Iwachan said, walking over and holding Oikawa’s hand away from the shelves.

“Right, we don’t want three Oikawas here too now, do we?” Oikawa joked, brushing his finger along Iwaizumi’s chin as he retrieved his hand. He was delighted when Iwaizumi’s cheeks reddened and he looked away.

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind.” Hajime said from behind them and Oikawa laughed.

“I think the necklace was here.” Haji-chan said, walking over and surveying the boxes. “Odd…no lockets or necklaces here. Just rings.”

The group went over to join Haji-chan in his surveillance. There was no necklace in sight.

“Iwachan, are you sure this is where you saw the necklace?” Oikawa asked, placing his hands on his hips.

Iwaizumi frowned. “Yeah. I picked up the necklace, touched the stone and two other versions of me just…appeared?”

“We all had a bit of a freakout as you can imagine.” Hajime added, standing next to Oikawa and linking their hands together. “We were about to get in a fight but somehow knew our…my? Personality got split. Then we put the locket on this shelf and just walked back home.”

“Why wouldn’t you just…bring the locket with you, Iwachan?” Oikawa asked, avoiding the way his stomach was fluttering because Hajime had started peppering each of his fingers with kisses.

“I just got split into three. Couldn’t really think straight.” Iwachan said, hitting Hajime on the head to stop him.

“Well the gem isn’t here.” Haji-chan said. “We might have to search the whole store.”

“I’m afraid you can’t do that, gentlemen.” The old woman was back. “See, it's already 7 pm. So I’m closing for the day. Please leave.”

“Wait, this is urgent. Please help us look for the gem stone.” Oikawa said.

“Sorry lads. I hate sitting around here all day long as it is. I need to catch the last bus back home. Please leave before I call the police.”

*

“I can’t believe you got split into three by a gemstone.” Oikawa said, sitting on their couch as Iwachan paced in front of him. Haji-chan was lying down on the carpet, staring up at their ceiling. Hajime had gone to the kitchen on Oikawa’s request to make them all dinner.

“It’s weirder that the gem stone is gone. And that the lady has no idea her store has magical artifacts.” Iwaizumi said, continuing his pacing.

Oikawa sighed and stood up, walking over to Iwaizumi. He enveloped Iwaizumi in a tight hug and felt his muscles relax. “We’ll go back tomorrow morning. Early. As soon as the store opens, we’ll search the whole place. Don’t worry, Iwachan. We’ll fix this.”

Iwaizumi relaxed against him, returning the hug, a little tighter than he usually does.

“This is weird and confusing.” he said in a pouty voice. Oikawa snorted.

“Weird and confusing for you? I’m the one dealing with three boyfriends. One of them can’t keep his hands off me while the other is jealous of himself.” Oikawa remarked.

Iwaizumi held onto him tighter. “I don’t like sharing you, Tooru.” he said right into Oikawa’s ear. Oikawa felt his breath catch and something warm pool in his stomach. He looked right into Iwaizumi’s eyes and could see the frustration and confusion in them. Their faces were inches apart and Oikawa was focusing fully on Iwaizumi’s lips, wanting to close the distance between them.

“It’s time for dinner.” A monotone voice said, pushing a book between their faces. Oikawa felt dazed, looking at Haji-chan, who had a bored look on his face as he pushed the two apart. Oikawa couldn’t help but giggle.

“You too, Haji-chan?” He said, doubling over in a fit of laughter as Iwachan grumbled and walked towards the kitchen. “I can’t believe you cockblocked yourself.” Oikawa said, clutching onto Haji-chan’s shoulder for support. Haji-chan just pouted, waving Oikawa off. Oikawa softened.

“You are soooo adorable, Haji-chan.” He said, squishing Iwaizumi’s cheeks between his hands. Iwaizumi smiled a shy smile and Oikawa felt like he was about to pass out. Iwaizumi removed Oikawa’s hands from his cheeks and held on, pulling him towards the dining area.

“C’mon, Tooru. Dinner.” he said in a soft voice that turned Oikawa’s insides to mush.

“Yes, Iwachan.”

*

Dinner was a mess. Not taste-wise. Iwaizumi was a great cook. All versions of them were. The food was good. But it was weird having four people instead of just two. Hajime kept trying to feed Oikawa from his spoon, Iwachan kept snatching away the food and Haji-chan just poked his plate, looking uninterested. Oikawa felt like he was handling a kindergarten class.

“Iwachans can we please please eat. We all need to sleep early so we can get up early and search the shop tomorrow morning.”

The Iwaizumis stopped and each returned to their own plates.

“Where do we all sleep?” Iwachan asked suddenly. The whole table had stopped moving.

“The bedroom, obviously.” Oikawa said.

“You idiot, our bed is only made for two people. Two of us need to sleep in the guest room.” Iwachan said. “Okay, so Oikawa takes our bedroom. I sleep on the couch and the two other Iwaizumis can take the guest room bed.”

There were loud protests from Oikawa and Hajime.

“You know I can’t sleep without Iwachan in the bed.” Oikawa said with a pout.

“I am absolutely sleeping on the same bed as Tooru.” Hajime said.

“You are not .” Iwachan protested. “You can barely keep your hands off Oikawa in public. You are not sharing a bed with my boyfriend.”

“What, you’re scared we’ll have sex without you? He’s my boyfriend too!” Hajime said loudly.

“There’s an easy solution to this.” Haji-chan said and everyone turned to look at him. “I take the bed with Oikawa, then he can sleep properly and you two can sort yourselves out.”

“Why do you get to sleep with Tooru?”

“Absolutely not -”

“How do we know you won’t try something-”

“I think he should sleep alone -”

“Iwachan!” They all looked at Oikawa, who had turned a miserable look on his face. “Maybe I should decide who to sleep with?”

“I think that’s fair. Who do you pick, Tooru?” Hajime asked, fluttering his eyelashes.

“Haji-chan. Out of all three of you, he seems the most put-together and rational. And I know he won’t touch me at all so you two can relax.” Oikawa said, holding Haji-chan’s hand over the table.

“Why do you sound so disappointed?” Iwachan asked, eyeing Haji-chan seriously.

“Are you actually trying to intimidate me? I’m you ! It’s not gonna work!” Haji-chan said, raising his eyebrows at Iwachan, who rolled his eyes.

After dinner, everyone rushed around to get their bedtime routines done, Iwaizumi pulling out two more toothbrushes as he refused to share dental products with himself.

“Okay, I will kiss each one of you goodnight.” Oikawa declared.

“That won’t be needed.” Iwaizumi said, holding back Hajime who was trying to sprint at Oikawa.

“Hush, Iwachan. I get to kiss you goodnight three times. I can’t pass up this opportunity.” Oikawa said, walking over to Haji-chan and grabbing his face between his hands.

“You can literally kiss me as many times as you want, even when I’m one person, shittykawa.” Iwachan said.

“Yes, but the reactions will be sooo different.” Oikawa said with mischief. He leaned down and pressed his lips to Haji-chan, who stiffened. Oikawa withdrew and laughed at his face. Haji-chan’s eyes were screwed shut and his cheeks were a bright pink. The brightest shade Oikawa had ever seen on Iwaizumi.

“See, Haji-chan is sooo flustered. But you-” Oikawa walked over to Iwachan, who turned his face away, a frown in place. Oikawa turned him by the chin to face him and smirked when Iwachan refused to meet his eyes. “You’re so stubborn, Iwachan.” he said, kissing Iwaizumi on the mouth. He felt Iwaizumi reciprocate ever so slightly, pressing his lips back against Oikawa’s and smiling into the kiss.

He walked over to Hajime last, who looked at him like he had just won the lottery. “I’m actually scared of trying this on you.” Oikawa said. But before he moved, Hajime grabbed his hand and pulled Oikawa against his chest. He dipped him low and kissed him, square on the mouth. Oikawa felt his breath hitch and his brain fogging over as he kissed back. He was brought back to reality by strong arms grabbing him and dragging him backwards.

“No tongue.” Iwachan said, dragging Oikawa at least a foot away from Hajime. Haji-chan was holding back Hajime and thwacking him over the head.

“It’s time for bed.” Haji-chan said, grabbing Oikawa’s hand and dragging him upstairs to their bedroom.

“See you tomorrow, my love.” Hajime said, waving goodbye to Oikawa, then getting hit around the head by Iwachan. Oikawa giggled.

*

“This is so weird.” Oikawa said, hugging Haji-chan from the back, who was facing the other way.

“Well, yes. Getting split into three versions of yourself isn’t something that happens everyday.” Haji-chan remarked.

“No, not that. I mean that is weird. But I was talking about this .”

“This? What?”

“You, Iwachan. We’re in bed and I’m holding you but you’re turned away. That never happens unless we’re fighting.” Oikawa’s voice was pouty.

“You’re such a brat.” Iwaizumi said, turning around in his embrace and holding Oikawa. “Better?”

Oikawa flashed a smile into the darkness. “Hmmm much better, Iwachan.” he shuffled closer to Iwaizumi, resting his chin on Iwa’s head.

“I’m not Iwachan, remember? I’m Haji-chan.” Iwaizumi said in a small voice.

“You’re all Iwachan.” Oikawa said, his voice shaking with laughter. “I just needed you all to respond to different names.”

“Hmm…you’re occasionally smart.” Iwaizumi remarked, pulling Oikawa closer.

“Hey! I’m always smart.” Oikawa scoffed.

“Mhm. so Mr. Smarty-pants. What’s your plan on melding the three of us back together?” Iwaizumi asked, drawing slow circles on Oikawa’s back.

“Well for now we just find the gem? I guess. It’s all too strange so I still think it’s a dream.”

“What if…we’re stuck like this forever?”

“Three Iwachans? Forever? That sounds terrible.”

“Would it really be that bad?”

“Yes, it will. First of all, if we want to go out on dates, I’ll have to plan three different dates with three different Iwachans. And the other Iwachans would get upset when I’m out with one Iwachan. And I don’t even want to think about what would happen in our sex lives.”

Iwaizumi snorted. “We can all pretend to be in a polycule?”

“And how are we supposed to explain to our friends and family that there are suddenly two extra Iwachans, hmm? And a polycule won’t work with us, Iwachan. You can’t share me. Even with yourself.”

“You sound so smug over this. Would you be okay if there were three Oikawas all being too handsy over me?”

Oikawa was silent for a bit as he imagined Iwaizumi getting swarmed by three Oikawas. It was a funny thought. Iwaizumi getting more annoyed than usual at his obnoxious self. But then there would be the Oikawa who can’t keep himself off Iwaizumi. He would cling to him, try to devour him. And Oikawa would have a third person pov. And Iwaizumi would like it because it’s still Oikawa. He shook his head. The thought had stirred up something ugly and desperate in him, clawing at his stomach wall.

“No. I wouldn’t like that at all.” he said finally, grabbing Iwaizumi tighter.

“If you hold me any tighter, I might suffocate and die.” Iwaizumi said. Oikawa snorted.

“One down, two to go, eh Iwachan?”

Oikawa giggled as Iwaizumi smacked him on the back. “Go to sleep, idiot.”

And so he did.

*

Oikawa woke up in a strong and firm embrace. He shuffled closer to Iwaizumi, breathing in his refreshing scent and feeling dizzy. Iwaizumi smells good. He always smells so good. Even last night when-

Oikawa’s eyes split open as he remembered the bizarre events from yesterday. He reached blindly behind him to find his phone and looked at the screen to check the time. 9 AM. They had to get to the store. He started shaking Haji-chan softly.

“Haji-chan…hey. Wake up. We have to go to the store.”

Iwaizumi grumbled and held him closer. Oikawa suddenly realized they were both…naked? That’s odd. He remembered them both going to bed with a respectable number of clothing items still on. He lifted the blanket to check and…yup. Stark naked. Did Haji-chan…?

“Haji-chan, wake up. The store. We have to go.”

“What store, idiot. It’s too early for shopping right now.” Iwaizumi said in a sleepy voice, embracing Oikawa again and reaching back to cup his bare ass. Oikawa yelped.

“My my, Haji-chan. I didn’t expect you to be so bold.” Oikawa commented, shifting closer to Iwaizumi. “I don’t think Hajime and Iwachan would appreciate this though.”

Iwaizumi opened one of his eyes to squint at Oikawa. “What the fuck are you talking about, stupid?”

“Iwachan? Is that you? Did we switch rooms during the night?”

Iwaizumi opened both his eyes now, his face morphing into a serious expression. “Is this some kind of prank? Oikawa have you finally gone delirious?”

Oikawa shook his head. “Let’s go wake up the others.” he said, pushing himself away from…whichever Iwaizumi was next to him. But Iwaizumi grabbed him and pulled him back.

“What others?” Iwaizumi asked, his voice gruff. “We don’t have any guests over.”

“Are you being daft on purpose? Or did you forget?” Oikawa asked, getting increasingly more agitated. Iwaizumi frowned deeper.

“You’re not making any sense, Tooru. Do you have a fever? Did you have a bad dream?” Iwaizumi touched Oikawa’s forehead.

“I don’t have a fever-Iwachan, don’t you remember last night?” Oikawa asked, removing Iwaizumi’s hand from his forehead. Iwaizumi instead, placed the hand on his waist.

“Last night? I remember.” A smile suddenly tugging at his lips.

Oikawa watched, horrified and confused as Iwaizumi shifted their positions so he was hovering over Oikawa now, caging his head between his hands.

“Do you need a reminder, Tooru?” he asked in a quiet voice, breathing into Oikawa’s ear and robbing his lungs of all air.

Oikawa panicked, pushed Iwaizumi a bit harder than necessary and Iwaizumi landed on the floor with a thud.

“Ow? What the fuck, Oikawa. You could have just said no.” Iwaizumi grumbled, picking himself off the ground and rubbing his backside.

Oikawa yelped, jumping out of bed too and walking over to Iwaizumi. “I’m so sorry, Iwachan! I didn’t mean to push you so hard. I was just- oh my god, you’re naked!” Oikawa turned away, covering his eyes.

“Well so are you.” Iwaizumi said from behind him and Oikawa screamed, grabbing the bedsheet to cover himself.

“Oikawa, seriously. What the fuck is going on? You’re worrying me.” Iwaizumi said, turning Oikawa around and looking at him.

“I-we-did we? Last night? But the others! Iwachan will be so upset.” Oikawa spluttered, gesturing between them.

“Iwachan is upset right now.” Iwaizumi said, his nose scrunched up. “What are you talking about?”

Oikawa didn’t answer, instead he grabbed the nearest hoodie and pulled it on, hurrying downstairs. He ran to the couch and then to the guest room. Empty.

“Where are they?” he asked Iwaizumi, who had followed him downstairs.

“Who? What the fuck, Oikawa?”

“Haji-chan and Iwachan! Where are they?” Oikawa asked, desperately.

Iwaizumi sighed, pinching his nose and shaking his head. “It’s too early for a prank now, Tooru. Let’s take a shower and get something to eat, okay?” Iwaizumi walked towards Oikawa, grabbing him by the shoulder.

“Wait. The store. Let’s go to the store.” Oikawa said, trying to run back upstairs to their bedroom. Iwaizumi held him back.

“What store? Okay we’ll go to the store. But let’s shower first.” Iwaizumi said, sounding tired.

“No time to waste, Iwachan! We can shower later.” Oikawa said, trying to pry Iwaizumi’s hands off him.

“No-uh. You definitely need to shower right now.” Iwaizumi said, picking Oikawa up, fireman style. Oikawa let out an undignified squeal.

“Do I smell that bad, Iwachan?” Oikawa said, wiggling in Iwaizumi’s embrace.

“Yes, you smell of sweat and cum. Now wash it off.” Iwaizumi said as he carried Oikawa across the stairs back to their bedroom. Oikawa fell silent, suddenly aware of how sticky his inner thighs felt. He groaned, burrowing his face into Iwaizumi’s back.

“Oh my god.” He whined.

“Hey, you weren’t complaining last night.” Iwaizumi said, sounding a little offended.

*

After about an hour, Oikawa and Iwaizumi were showered and dressed, Oikawa leading the way to the store. “So you’re saying I touched a gem. And it split me into three people. And now you think the two other Iwaizumis are missing.” Iwaizumi said slowly, following Oikawa.

“You make me sound like I’m insane, Iwachan.” Oikawa said, grabbing Iwaizumi’s hand and turning the corner.

“Oh I don’t think that’s on me, actually.” Iwaizumi mumbled.

“It’s gone.” Oikawa said in a deadpan voice. He stared straight at a blank space between two buildings. The store was right there. But it’s not anymore.

“Your sanity?” Iwaizumi suggested, throwing an arm around Oikawa’s shoulder. “That’s been gone a long while, love.”

“No, Iwachan. The store. It’s gone. It was right here. But it’s gone. And you’re only one.” Oikawa said, pointing accusingly at Iwaizumi.

“Sorry?” Iwaizumi said, holding up both his hands. “There’s a Udon restaurant right around here. Let’s go get breakfast and then we can take a walk in the nearby park while you digest the loss of two other Iwaizumis.” Iwaizumi steered Oikawa towards the Udon shop which was just opening for the day.

“So,” Iwaizumi started after placing their orders. “Three Iwaizumis, huh?” he asked, trying to get Oikawa’s attention.

“I don’t understand…what’s happening?” Oikawa said, looking up at Iwaizumi with big brown eyes. Iwaizumi sighed.

“Tooru…babe…have you considered…that it may have been a dream?” Iwaizumi said, holding Oikawa’s hand from across the table. “Like last night we went on a drive, ate outside, came home, freshened up and went to bed. We didn’t go to any stores. We did get groceries but that was while we were both outside. And the store you’re worrying about, it’s never been there. It’s always been empty.”

“Oh.” Oikawa said simply, leaning further into his seat. “I guess…maybe. I’m not sure anymore.”

Iwaizumi frowned. “You look so disappointed. Do you want there to be three different Iwaizumis?”

Oikawa looked up at Iwaizumi at his tone. He smiled mischievously. “Would you hate it if there were more Iwachans, Iwachan?” he asked, moving his chair closer to Iwaizumi.

“I mean it would be quite inconvenient. We would have to think up of a good lie for friends and family. But I guess I could get more rest days?”

“What?”

“You know…I’d send a different Iwaizumi off to work each time. And the other me’s could rest. And I would still get the holidays so I’ll be less tired.”

“And you’d be okay leaving me with a different Iwaizumi each time?” Oikawa challenged.

Iwaizumi paused, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. “I mean they’re all still me? I don’t think I’d be that bothered if it were all me.”

Oikawa snorted. “I think you’ll be bothered a great deal, Hajime.” He said smugly as the food arrived.

“Riiiight.” Iwaizumi said, loading up his bowl with Udon and side dishes.

***

“What are you thinking?” Iwaizumi asked as he wrapped himself around Oikawa more snuggly on their couch. The shity sci-fi movie Tooru had picked out still played on full volume but Iwaizumi could tell he wasn’t listening. “Daydreaming about multiple me’s again?”

“Yes, actually.” Oikawa said, turning his head towards Iwaizumi. “It felt so real, Iwachan. I know it makes no sense but…a whole day. And the touches felt real. Even the words.”

“What touches?” Iwaizumi asked, tangling his legs with Oikawa’s.

“Oh you know, hand holding and kissing-all of that.”

“Kissing? You kissed the other mes?”

Oikawa burst out laughing. “Didn’t you say it won’t bother you if it’s you? And you’re so sure it was a dream too.” he continued laughing as Iwaizumi detangled himself from Oikawa, turning off the tv.

“I guess so.” Iwaizumi said, standing up and offering his hand to Tooru.

“Where are we going?” Oikawa asked, taking the hand and letting himself be hauled up.

“To bed. I need to make you forget about all these other Hajime’s.” Iwaizumi said, pulling Oikawa along. Oikawa giggled and let himself be guided back up to their bedroom. Maybe forgetting the whole ordeal would be best for all of them.

***

HEHEHEHE. I had this silly idea in my head for a bit so here’s this dumb fic. If y’all actually wanna know what the whole gem story is mhmhm there might be a part two with Oikawa getting split into three…but only if enough people want it. Well find me on tumblr and twitter on @iwaoiamiright. Keep a look out for my other fics if you’re into those fandoms. Peace ✌