Chapter Text
"Do you want to go on a date? I'm free on Thursdays thanks to a patient who became a monthly."
Yunho rubs his face all over and ruffles his hair. Sometimes he hates San so much. He hears Wooyoung in the background chattering about something. Probably playing. The usual. He's the one who talks for his toys after all.
"I already found out what I hate about myself. What's next?"
"Are you going to pay me for the call? This could go on for a long time."
"San" he growls irritated and San laughs. "Just... answer me."
"Only if you tell me how you feel-"
"That I'm dying and I could start crying right now, locked in my glass office and risk everyone seeing me being a pathetic and sad Alpha. What do I do now!?" he insists in a desperate tone and San whistles.
"Okay... okay, I didn't expect... that, but it's good you know? Get things off your chest, off your mind, let it flow," the psychiatrist informs with a cheerful and proud tone. "Next step: what do you need to feel better?"
"Mingi."
"That's a dependent response. What will make you feel better, you and only you." Yunho doesn't quite understand the difference. "Listen: bonds are important, true, but if one of the two is bad, both of you feel worse and vice versa. As with all relationships, you must love yourself before loving someone else. That's why I ask you: What do you need to feel better?"
Yunho shivers and hesitates.
"Not... hate me?"
"Indeed. Very well. And what would relieve you. What would help that."
"Apologize to Mingi for what I did to him."
"Good. To be honest: I don't think you're in the best condition to go ask for forgiveness, it could end up a bit disastrous. If you want, if you're comfortable: we can do a session the three of us. So you both talk to each other and-"
"No. Nono, I-I don't want to... ruin whatever- His life already exists without me. What if there's someone else?" The concern came out of nowhere and Yunho hates it. He wants to be with Mingi, even more so with a year behind him. What if he's already over him? What if he already has someone?
What if he's already happy...
He doesn't want to show up and ruin whatever happiness he has, make him feel like he owes him something, that he made him wait all this time.
Does that make sense?
No. It's stupid. JUST GO!
"You can't run away from the problem. Although of course, it all depends on you. Whatever it is, try to make peace with yourself and then- Woo, please don't talk so hard if I'm on the phone, okay...? Thanks." San laughs softly and Yunho groans impatiently. "And then make peace with what causes you so much pain beyond yourself... Did you understand? I can prescribe you some medication to sleep or maybe, take away the anxiety that you surely suffer right now."
"Please."
Yunho can say that he is a little calmer by taking medication. He doesn't have as many panics out of nowhere and with situations that seemed normal to him before. Making peace with himself is not easy having a strong and even terrifying idea of Alphas who are not "gamma," however, he gives himself the opportunity by reminding himself of the good things he has done.
The reason why he has so many friends since he can remember, people around him who love him.
He is not destructive. Not even when he loves too strongly.
Which he does towards Mingi.
Yunho doesn't dare look for him. It embarrasses him and it bothers him to think that he's already happy with someone else. He wants to see him happy. He doesn't want to ruin his life in any way. Again.
Yunho frequents a dog café. There are Samoyeds everywhere. He likes the scent in the air. It seems familiar to him for some reason and the dogs, because of their silly smile and gentle attitude, remind him of Mingi in a tender way. It's silly, but it makes Yunho happy. It makes him feel at peace with his surroundings and with himself.
It felt like some kind of twist of fate telling him: stop delaying what you want when he noticed Mingi leaving the same café. A part of him, the cowardly and scared one, demanded that they leave. That they pretend not to have seen him.
"Mingi?"
While everything else just wants to rush in and try to grab the one who would be able to make him completely happy.
┈ ⋞ ⟨ ✷ ⟩ ⋟ ┈
He drags his existence out of bed and even when he showers, he feels no energy from anything at all. He drags his whole being again, this time to the dining room, with the impression that something is calling him there. Finally he sits at the table and between the swelling of his face, wet hair and the towel, he finds a perfect, multi-course breakfast. His stomach growls and he gives a childish grumble.
"Did you sleep badly?"
Yunho looks up, Mingi leaves a few more plates on the table and arranges a few things in the kitchen.
"I don't think so" Yunho stammers before yawning. "Thanks for the food."
Mingi comes up behind the Alpha, finishes drying his hair and leaves the towel on an empty chair. He takes a place in front of Yunho and waits for him to start eating.
"Are you sure you're okay and can get to work like this?" Mingi asks with a laugh and Yunho leans to the side, barely avoiding the plates of food.
"Nooo... I want to stay here and not work... I better stay, Jongho and Hongjoong can handle it perfectly."
Mingi laughs, covering his smile and trying not to move the table too much. Yunho laughs back, staring at him. It makes him very happy to see Mingi like that.
And he knows he'll be able to see him every day from now on.
With one condition.
"Yunieeeee" Wooyoung peeks out from his room and Yunho turns around immediately. "If you're not going to work, can we go to the movies? I want to go to the movies. There's a Spi-"
"Spiderman! Change of plans, I'll take you to the movies."
Wooyoung gives a squeal of excitement, jumping in place and letting Woyeong know. Mingi laughs through his nose, finding it adorable that Yunho is a Spiderman fan. Also, help him to be very close with Wooyoung.
And that is where the only condition lies to continue being so happy with Mingi: to have his own aspirations and joys without being afraid to share it with him. To live it with him. While Hongjoong and Jongho were drowning in paperwork, Mingi, Yunho and Wooyoung enjoyed their day at the cinema, having dinner and walking through the park.