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All's fair in love and weed

Summary:

Robin is trying pot with their crush, Gamzee Makara, in honor of 420. But things will not go the way they thought....

Notes:

Written in a fanfic session by myself, getSkrunk, benkybot and Jesse.

Work Text:

Today Robin was visiting her clown buddy and long time crush Gamzee. Gamzee was a tall lanky troll with messy curly hair, long horns and juggalo makeup.
Today was a very special day: it was 420. And so, today Gamzee and Robin would try weed together. Gamzee opened the door.

"WhAt'S uP mY sIsTeR yOu ReAdY tO gEt MoThErFuCkInG hIgH :o)"

"yeah totally!"

They set up on the couch, and Gamzee had ordered a pizza and made a pie for them to share. They sat facing each other. Gamzee lit up the bong and took the first hit, then blew the smoke into Robin's face with a sultry look.

"yOuR tUrN, sIsTeR", he said as he handed them the bong.

Benky blushed and took a hit.

Taking said hit, Robin began to splutter. In classic unresearched fanfic fashion, the drugs immediately began to take effect.

“Yooo holy shit this is gas” said Robin, coughing into her hand.

Robin looked at her hand and it was…

“Uh..G. .Gamzee..” said Robin shakily, showing their hand, now covered in blood.

“WoAh… tHatT’s NoT sUpPoSeD tO hApPeN mY sIsTeR, lEt Me SeE tHaT.” Gamzee took the bong (or whatever it was im too lazy to check sorry).

He took a biggg wifff of it, smacking his lips together like that one guy in the ice cream taste testing video.

“Oh, I'm SoRrY sIs, I aCcIdEnTaLlY gAvE yOu mY sUpEr FeNtAnYl BeNaDrYl BlEnD(tM),” Gamzee said calmly.

Robin’s jaw dropped as the fentanyl began to take hold, causing her to fall to the floor, convulsing in pain and terror.

"Oh DaMn, tHaT dOeSn'T lOoK gOoD", Gamzee said as he watched Robin bleed out and die.

There was only one thing for it, he could only save his friend and potential true love forever by administering his special weapon. He leaned forward and gave her... true love's kiss, except like it was also a shotgun, he like breathed some pure weed smoke into her mouth and she suddenly came back from the dead like stoner jesus.

She looked into his beautiful red red eyes, having just made out with her crush, and pulled him close and kissed him again, and again, and again. She couldn't believe this was happening!
After a long time of kissing they just sat down on the couch, smiling dopily at each other like a bunch of dopes that were high

Robin and Gamzee began to stare longingly into each other's eyes, and they both knew this was the time to take clothes of and do the gross stuff, when suddenly, a strange tall figure burst into the room.

"HOW COULD YOU!?!??" they screeched, it was...

Slenderman entering through the window like some kind of creep! His expression was, well he didn't have a face, but if he did he would be looking furious and heartbroken.
"Slendy? What are you doing here! I thought I was never going to see you again!" shouted Robin as they suddenly burst into tears from the weed making them totally unstable emotionally.

"WhAt? WhO iS tHiS? iS tHaT tHe fUcKiNg eX yOu tOlD mE aBoUt. WhAt Is hE dOiNg At OuR aWeSoMe WeEd N sEx GeT tOgEtHeR" Interjected Gamzee before Slenderman could answer Robin's question.

"That's right, I was robin's first boyfriend and I am coming to get her back again after I left for 4 years to rizz up some underage girls in my forest! I realized she was my true love and there is nothing you can do to stop me!"

As the tall man said this he crawled over to Robin (because he's so tall) to pick them up and console them,,, WITH SEX OF COURSE!
The two lovers reunited had sex in front of Gamzee as he had to watch on.
During this Robin told him "I'm sorry, my Slendy is simply so much taller than you and im leaving you forever for him because he's taller" while still sobbing uncontrollably.

At these words Gamzee crumpled onto his knees and let out a long sad HOOOOOONNNNKKKK.

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