Chapter Text
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Please.
Please don't wake up alone.
Please.
Will had just kept repeating it over and over again as he fell asleep. Curled up against Jay's side was the comfiest place in existence. He was almost certain of it. The only thing that could possibly be better was if Jay was more relaxed. If he held him tighter or let his fingers run through his hair. But Will had laid there with his heartbeat beneath his ear and as he drifted off, he swore he had heard Jay humming a soft, little tune. Like he had been trying to comfort him. To help him.
I like Will.
He'd said it so simply. But it was like how Jay had told him 'congratulations' back at the arena. It felt real. Had he felt the same way about how Will had told him that he liked Jay? He didn't have that gift of making each word have so much intent like Jay did. Had he heard him anyway? Did he understand that he liked the guy that handed him a bag of M&Ms with a shy smile on his face?
They weren't touching. Will couldn't feel him but he was too scared to open his eyes to see if Jay was on the other side of the bed. All he had to do was roll over and look but…
He didn't want to be alone.
He wanted Jay to be there. They were in his hotel room and they hadn't made any agreement about staying the night. Jay could have slipped away before the sun even rose. They weren't really dating and he didn't have to stay but Will had woken up to Disney Princess Jay once before. Was it too much to ask to have it happen again? He probably shouldn't even still be here. Will had a flight to catch but maybe he could figure out how to stay longer. Give himself the chance to linger just in case it let him have a little bit more time with Jay. Maybe Don would help him with the logistics, even if he didn't tell him why he wanted to stay even one more day.
But first, he had to open his eyes and look.
Empty.
The blankets were pushed back and there was a small dent in the pillow. But Jay wasn't there.
He was gone.
Will tried to hold the whimper back but when he reached out just enough to feel that the sheet was cold, he couldn't contain it. How long ago had he left? Had he disappeared as soon as he had fallen asleep? The last time, Jay had been grumbly and cute and Will had been looking forward to - hoping for - seeing it again. Be close and share sleepy warmth.
He liked Jay.
Will wanted to be his boyfriend. His real boyfriend. And he wasn't even here. It didn't feel right. It didn't match the way Jay gently bumped their noses together or how warm his eyes would be when he said his name. But it did fit his guarded kisses and those touches that didn't linger. His hand stayed in that empty space, unable to move it yet.
"Will?"
He rolled over toward the sound of Jay's voice, halfway certain that he had sleepily imagined it.
"Huh?"
But he hadn't.
With a confused look on his face, Jay was standing beside the hotel room window - the curtain pulled back just a sliver. His Disney Princess Hair was pulled up into a messy bun that Will just wanted to make messier and his spare pair of Batman jimjams hung low on his hips. They were apparently just a little bit too big on Jay and maybe he needed to lend him clothes more often. Because he was shirtless and in his jimjams and here.
The blankets and the sheets were absolutely in his way because he wanted to be next to Jay right now. Be close. Touch him. Maybe even kiss him. Delight and relief were washing over him and Will couldn't move fast enough. But the bed wasn't cooperating with his scramble and as soon as he sat up, he started to fall forward.
And into Jay's arms.
With a grunt, they both fell the short rest of the way to the floor. It only took a second for Will to realize that he was sort of in Jay's lap but in his defense, Jay's hands were still against his skin - keeping him steady.
"Are you all right?"
His quiet voice was concerned but there was amusement in his eyes and in the way he was biting his lip to keep from laughing. And Will wanted to hear that laugh as much as he wanted everything else.
"Yeah. You're here."
Maybe there was too much wonder in that but Will didn't know how to say it any differently.
"I couldn't sleep but I didn't want to…" His words trailed off but Will - for once - understood anyway. Jay hadn't wanted to leave. "Sorry."
"No sorries needed, bruv." How could there be when he was here and Jay's hands were still keeping him close? "Are you all right? Did I snore too much? Kick you in the shins too many times or something? Am I a blanket thief? If you were cold, you coulda just snuggled with me. I'd like that, you know?"
Whatever had kept him awake was something that Will wanted to fix. Needed to fix. But Jay just shook his head.
"I'm fine."
It didn't sound like a deflection or like Jay was lying to him but he was awful at reading people's tells, even this close up. There was something wretched about it, though. Like being 'fine' was a bad thing. It didn't make any sense. But Austin's disappointed expression from last night flashed through his head and Will thought he might have figured it out. Jay had lost and he was okay. He had failed and he was fine. And maybe part of him thought that that was a bad thing.
"You sure? You can throw the desk chair if you need to. I'll even pay for damages."
Once again, Jay stifled a chuckle but his smile was real as those words had been. A little crooked and affectionate. For him. But after a moment, his face contorted as if there was something that he was holding back. Will leaned forward so their foreheads were resting against one another and let his hands drift upwards from Jay's arms until he was cupping his face as gently as he could. Jay's eyes slowly closed but Will had no idea what to say. How to comfort him. How to tell him that it was okay to change.
"I'm happy, Will."
And it sounded like it terrified him. Like he would rather endure a hundred chops from Minoru Suzuki than be something other than miserably devastated after an important loss. Had he woken up in the middle of the night after beating himself up in his dreams? Will had to teach him that it was okay to cuddle with him. He would have understood being woken up because Jay's brain was being cruel. It was almost painfully easy to imagine Jay doing his slightly awkward best to soothe him if their positions had been reversed.
Happy.
Will was glad that he was happy but he wanted to make him happier. Selfishly be more of it. And just like last night, their lips were touching before his brain could tell him all of the reasons why it was probably a bad idea.
Except he could feel Jay's happiness in his kiss.
It was lighter and softer and sweeter and Will wanted so many more of them. One of Jay's hands stayed on his side but the other drifted upwards until it was ever-so-carefully grazing that little junction between his shoulder and his neck. How did such a simple touch feel so good? It felt affectionate. Climbing even a bit further onto Jay's lap was absolutely not the right move but… more.
Will wanted more.
Yet the things he wanted more of were small. More kissing and more touching. He wanted to hold Jay's hand and wake up next to him. What would Jay's fingers in his hair feel like? What would it be like to travel together? There had been those tour bus rides back in Japan - when they were both younger and not the people they were now. But this was different. They were different.
This kiss was different.
Jay wasn't kissing him from behind a pane of glass. Will could feel him. His happiness and his softness. His own heart was beating with joy, even if that didn't make any sense. Yet Jay wasn't quite letting go - every touch of their lips was tentative - and Will knew that there was more to know here too.
"Will…"
The first noise Jay had ever made while they kissed and it was his own name murmured against his lips.
"Jay…" And maybe a bit of his heart's joy was there in Jay's too because his eyes were shining. "... happiness tastes good on you."
And that was nowhere near as eloquent as anything Jay might be able to say and for a second, he was a bit distracted by the idea of Jay openly flirting with him. But even Will's mind couldn't wander too much when Jay reached up. His thumb brushed along his cheek just once and he couldn't stop himself from shivering. But he wished he could have.
Because that confusion was back on Jay's face - like he had no idea if that reaction was good or bad. How was that possible?
"Don't stop there, bruv. I know my face ain't that pretty to look at but…"
He was well-aware that he wasn't that handsome - he did own a mirror - but before he could even finish his sentence, Jay was bumping their noses against one another again. That was their thing now, wasn't it? That was their way of being all reassuring. They had a Couple Thing. Even though they weren't actually dating and weren't actually boyfriends. Except Will wanted to be and Jay had stayed so maybe he might want to be too someday.
Neither of them moved.
They just stayed close together like that and this was just as good as waking up in bed with Disney Princess Jay. Careful hands twitched against his back like Jay was trying to decide if it was okay to hug him and Will wasn't sure if there was anything he had ever wanted more. There probably was but he couldn't remember what it was right now. Being in Jay's arms while they were like this and not cuddling in bed would undoubtedly feel just as good and he wanted it.
So of course, a phone beeped four times in a row.
It wasn't his but Jay made a little disgruntled noise as he leaned back and the idea that he was annoyed at the intrusion was everything.
"Gonna give whoever it is the Blade Runner?"
But Jay just shook his head a little.
"No… I like Austin and Colten too much for that."
He said it like it was a deep, dark secret and maybe for him, it was.
"You sure it's them?"
"Who else would it be?"
That sort of made sense but there was also something so sad about it. Maybe he needed to fight past his dyslexia more and text Jay more when he was back in England. Maybe he wouldn't mind if he just sent him pictures instead. Just… reach out to him. Make him change that assumption. But his face was so guarded now. Will supposed he was thinking about revealing a weakness or something else strategic and he didn't want him to think like that around him. He wanted to be safe for Jay.
"What do you lot have planned for today? Did you find an all-you-can-eat donut place or something? Because that would be brilliant."
A tiny smile lit up his face as his eyes softened and Will felt as brilliant as an endless supply of chocolate sprinkle donuts would be.
"Unfortunately, no. This afternoon is miniature golf."
"I am aces at mini golf. I'm gonna wipe the floor with all of you."
Maybe that was inviting himself along and maybe he was going to change his flight home. But it couldn't possibly matter when Jay was smiling as sweetly as that. Like Will had made him happier.
"I wasn't sure what your plans were but if you'd like…"
"It'd be a bit awkward if your boyfriend wasn't there."
"My boys would certainly have questions."
The expression on Jay's face said that they already asked him more questions than he was comfortable with. Did they ask him about when they had started dating? Or why didn't they live together? And yet, Jay had yet to tell them that it was all a lie. That had to mean something, didn't it?
"So let's show them how good of boyfriends we are."
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