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Killer wandered into the living room, yawning a bit. What he hadn't expected was to see Dust already awake, along with Horror and Nightmare sitting there already. “Hey…? What's going on?” Nightmare hesitated. Nightmare never hesitated. “We are having a meeting. Take a seat.” Killer sat down, looking confused. ¨Why didn't you wake me up?¨ Horror sat down next to him. “…I told them to let you sleep. You needed it.” Killer studied him suspiciously. “Okay…..where’s Criss-Cross?”¨ If they were having a meeting, then Cross should be there too. Horror looked away and Dust pulled down his hood. “That's what this meeting is about. Cross…will not be attending this meeting. Or any future meetings, for that matter.” Nightmare´s tone was unsettling, making Killer feel uneasy.
“Okay, what the hell are you talking about? Where’s Cross?” Something was wrong, Killer could feel it. None of them were looking him in the eyes. “This isn't funny, guys. Is he hurt? Or is it April Fool’s Day or some shit.” Dust wordlessly handed him an envelope with his name on it in Cross’s handwriting. It was unopened as he flipped it over. “What is this?” Nightmare’s tentacles thrashed unhappily behind him. “I do not know where Cross is. Only that I am unable to contact him. He left this letter on the table but I have not read the contents. Open it.” Unable to contact him? That could mean a lot of things, none of them good.
He opened the letter with shaking hands, a cold wave of fear washing over him. It read:
“Killer,
I’ve never been a good writer, so I’ll keep this short. I can't work for Nightmare anymore.” Fuck. “I don't agree with his cause, and I can't keep doing this. Killer, you are the person I regret hurting the most with this. I still love you, that's not why I'm leaving. I love you more than anything I ever have in my entire life. I can't tell you where I am, but I'm safe, and I hope you stay safe too. Tell the others I'm sorry, please. Once all of this is over, maybe we could go eat at that place you wanted to go to if you forgive me if you're open to it? Stars, I'm sorry, Killer.
-Always yours, Cross.”
Killer felt himself shaking, tears coming to his eyes unbidden. How dare he leave like that and still have the audacity to say he loved him? Anger bubbled up in his chest, pushing hurt down into the pit of his stomach. The letter crumpled in his grasp. “Killer, what- what does it say?¨ He looked up at the others. Worry was clear on Horror and Dust´s faces, but Nightmare looked grim, like he had guessed the contents of the letter. Killer took a shuddering breath. “He…Cross is a traitor. He betrayed us.” Dust's face hardened and Horror´s eye went wide. ¨Killer, I-¨ He turned around, pulling a knife out of his pocket and gripping the handle tightly. “Let’s rip the Stars to fucking shreds.” Nobody said anything to him, nor about the obvious tears falling from his eyes. Nightmare opened a portal, and the others followed him into whatever AU was about to face their wrath.
Dream doubled over in agony as he was filled with an overwhelming amount of Negativity, his body curling in on itself. What was going on? Swap had rushed to his side, helping him stand up. ¨Ink…what AU is that?¨ Ink opened a portal to the AU. ¨It's an Underswap variant, let's go.¨ They rushed through the portal, unsheathing their weapons. Dream and Swap froze at the sight that was before them, Ink just sighing. All that remained of the residents was the dust and blood coating every surface.
A broken scream rang out, spurring Dream into action. If he could save just one…! He was met with Killer wrenching his knife out of the dusting Asgore´s heart, grinning maniacally. “Killer, what- what are you doing?” Killer turned to face him, the smile looking unnaturally cheery on his face. “Hiya, Dreamy! Where's your dog?” Dream was taken aback, face twisting into confusion. “Dog? What are you talking about?”
Killer disappeared, reappearing behind Dream and pressing the blade against his throat. “Where’s Cross? He left to join you guys, right?” Dream blinked. “Cross left? But I thought… he's not with us, Killer.” Killer stepped away, sighing a bit. “Whatever. My job here is done.” He shortcut away, leaving Dream confused. He'd always thought Cross was…really loyal to Nightmare and the others. He sighed, shaking his head. A whole Positive AU dusted in minutes…
Killer appeared by the others. “Are you done Killer?” Nightmare asked softly. Killer’s face fell. “He wasn't with the Stars.” Nightmare hummed thoughtfully. “I see. I suppose it is much less of an issue if he isn't fighting against us. Let us go back, then.” Killer clenched his fists and walked through the portal without another word.
In a few days, Cross turned up at Dream’s door, asking to join the Stars. Dream didn’t know how to refuse.
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With Cross’s help, the “Bad Sanses” struggled to fight the Stars off. Every battle ended with someone hurt and a retreat. But this time, something was different. The Stars were way too powerful.
Killer coughed, Cross pinning him to the floor. Killer stared into Cross´s cold expression with a bitter grin. He took a quick glance at his surroundings. The others wouldn't be able to help him, the Stars had them on the defense. He looked back up at Cross. “You’re gonna kill me now, huh?” He let his SOUL drift right in front of Cross’s chest, where it sang for Cross’s own SOUL.
“Go ahead. At least it's you.” Cross stared at him with a bewildered expression. He held the SOUL gently, feeling the intent of acceptance, love, longing, hurt. Killer could feel Cross's own emotions, hating that it held no malice.
“What are you doing? Kill me already.” Killer demanded, his voice breaking softly.
Cross froze before shaking his head. “I can’t… I can't. I’m not going to kill you.”
Killer blinked in confusion, eyebrows furrowing. “Why not? You have me pinned. I can’t escape. You know that if you kill me, the Stars win. You know Dust and Horror. We all broke because you just left, what do you think would happen if one of us died?” His SOUL stirred in Cross’s hands restlessly. Cross looked at the softly beating thing and brought it to his teeth, kissing it gently and making Killer shiver.
“What…are you doing?” Killer said weakly, looking at Cross with a faded eyelight. Cross watched his expression sadly. “I love you, Killer.”
He bristled, face twisting in rage. “How can you say that? You left, Cross. You broke up with me.” Cross looked confused. “No? I didn’t? I thought I put in my letter that I wasn’t breaking up with you.” Killer blinked in confusion. He guessed the letter hadn’t said outright that Cross was breaking up with him, but he’d assumed that they weren’t together anymore since they were on opposite sides.
Cross watched his expression quietly, realization shining in his eyes. “Oh. Oh, no, Killer… I hurt you worse than I thought.” He sighed. “I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore, but I still love you.” Killer felt so small. He swallowed back the lump in his throat. “..Okay.” He took a shaky breath. “Okay. But..I can’t tell the others we’re still together. They’ll think I’ll betray them too. And you can’t expect me to leave Nightmare, cause if you do, it’s better if we break up.”
Cross’s expression lit up. “You..still want to be with me?” He asked quietly, sounding hopeful, but a little unsure. Killer smiled weakly. “I..I really don’t think I can make it on my own. I want to have a chance, for us to have a chance.” Cross let out a relieved sigh, letting Killer’s SOUL go.
“I think I have to go, but..do you maybe wanna meet up in Outertale? Tomorrow?” Cross said with a shyness he hadn’t had since the beginning of their relationship. Killer gave him a half smile. “..I’ll see if I can get away.” Cross smiled at him, but let it fall from his face as he turned around and went to the others. Killer sat up and clutched his chest. He was going to need some time to process what had just happened.
The others didn’t even know that Killer had been seconds away from death, and Killer didn’t really want to mention it to them, lest he have to explain how he got away. He went straight to his room when they got back, hugging his pillow and staring at the wall. Everything just had to be confusing. He wanted so badly to hate Cross, but he couldn’t make himself, even after he left.
He wanted him to be there right then. It was nice to know that he was still loved, but..he was all the way over there, and he was there. He felt alone, despite everything. He sighed into his stained pillow. All these people who care about him, and yet he had no idea why.
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The date in Outertale the next day went well. Over the next few months, they repaired their ruined relationship, going on secret dates and calling each other at night. They fell asleep on video calls, but Killer still missed the warmth of Cross next to him. Luckily, Nightmare was getting sick of the war, which was going nowhere in either direction, so there were rumours of peace talks.
But, it was getting harder and harder to meet up in secret without people getting suspicious. Killer was sure everyone was catching on, so they met up less. The nights were growing longer and lonelier, and Killer felt himself start to slip again. He knew that needing a relationship for his mental health was far from healthy, but hell, living in a house with murderers wasn’t exactly healthy either.
Horror and Dust were far too caught up in their own complicated love life to care about Killer, and Nightmare was caught up in fighting the Omega Timeline Council, so Killer found it easier to start skipping meals and spend more time in his room. All he did was stare at his phone and at the occasional text from Cross. Killer never texted back, really, but Cross asked him not to, just in case one of their phones were compromised. So, he stared longingly at the texts. “Have a good day!” “Thinking of you.” A picture of two gummy bears that melted together. “Us <3”
One day, Nightmare finally dragged him out of his room to start going to peace talks with him. “You’re my right hand man, right?” He said quietly. Killer smiled at him, but it felt all wrong. He felt like a traitor.
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This time was different. Nightmare had brought everyone along to the neutral timeline, where peace talks had been happening, and had told them to be on their best behaviour. Dream and the rest of the council were there, but so was Swap and Cross. Killer pointedly avoided his gaze, even when Dust and Horror had grimaced at the sight of him. Killer knew Cross’s tells well enough to know he was hurt, even without looking at him.
“Brother.” Dream said softly, his voice sounding happier than usual. “We have agreed to the treaty you drafted. All of us have signed it, all that’s left is you and your men. We will not go into your negative aus without permission, and the neutral aus will stay neutral. In return, you will not go into positive aus without permission. The Omega Timeline will remain open to any soul who wants refuge.” Nightmare looked relieved. “That’s good. I’ll sign the treaty.”
Nightmare picked up a pen and signed his loopy signature on the treaty, amongst the other names. The other three were in shock. The fighting between the Stars and the Bad Sanses was over that easily? Killer numbly signed it, his hand feeling like it was moving on autopilot. Horror and Dust signed it too, and Dream rolled the document up with a smile. Nightmare stuck out his hand, but Dream grabbed it and pulled him into a hug. Nightmare went stiff, but pat his back. Nobody was celebrating. In fact, for such a large event, it was totally quiet.
Nightmare turned back to his men. “So. It..is over. I understand if you would all like to go our separate ways.” Killer went pale. “...You’re leaving us?” Nightmare’s expression furrowed. “Well, I had assumed you wished to leave-” Horror, Dust, and Killer all shook their heads. Nightmare looked relieved, but he tried to hide it. “I see. Well, I suppose not much will change, besides our rivalry with the Stars.” Killer felt his SOUL stop.
“Boss?" He looked at Killer. “Yes?” He felt hope swell in his chest. “...Can we…talk to the Stars now? Since we’re not fighting anymore?” Nightmare looked thoughtful. “Well…I suppose, if you wished, yes. That would not be an issue.” Killer broke into a wide smile and hugged Nightmare quickly, before running to the Stars, who had started to leave.
“Cross!” He shouted, running straight at him. The monochrome soldier turned around, a befuddled look on his face. Killer jumped, opening his arms. Cross panicked, catching him quickly. “Killer, what are you- mmph!” Killer cut him off, kissing him and wrapping his arms around him as tight as he could. Cross kissed him back for a second before pulling away with a happy smile. “Hi.” Killer grinned at him, faded eyelights shining with joy. “Hey. Come here often?” Cross giggled and buried his face in Killer’s neck.
Killer felt right again. Maybe the truce wouldn’t be so bad after all.