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"Just trust me, you'll be fine."
"You'll be fine."
"I'll take care of you. You'll be fine."
Giorno Giovanna must have repeated those reassuring phrases to Leone Abbacchio at least a million times in the span of a week. A responsible adult would have found it humorous that the younger man was comforting the older man rather than the other way around if they had been listening to their interactions. Giorno Giovanna thought the words of affirmation were vain and off-putting to Leone, and that he was talking to a wall most of the time. However, by the end of the week, he came to the conclusion that it was all worthwhile when Leone let Giorno's touch linger on his skin.
Leone Abbacchio and Bruno Buccellati were obsessed with one another. Buccellati's desire to spend all of his spare time with Abbacchio was evident. Abbacchio's religious wear of his engagement ring made it known that he was already called for by the capo. "Might as well put him on a leash too." As the capo displayed Abbacchio around his arm, Giorno pondered in his mind. Though he never really said it aloud.
Though Abbacchio's and Buccellati's disagreements were inevitably so severe that they resulted in physical confrontation behind closed doors, they were still in love and vowed to seal their lives together with marriage by the end of autumn.
Giorno Giovanna was convinced Abbacchio was fine with the capo physically abusing him. Given that he consistently returned to his abuser following the initial apologies, he might even conclude that the older man enjoyed it. For his immense desire to be loved, Leone Abbacchio endured abuse; nonetheless, it did not prevent him from crying to Giorno about it.
Giorno Giovanna and Leone Abbacchio weren't friends, nor were they close. Their relationship was more frail now that the silver-haired man knew what the younger man with golden hair and emerald eyes felt for him. Out of respect for his partner and their engagement, Abbacchio knew he ought to stay away from the younger man, but he couldn't. It was difficult when the younger boy made Abbacchio's feelings feel like a priority, and soon Abbacchio started to vent when he was drunk.
The attention and feeling that he wasn't as undesirable and difficult to love as Buccellati at times made him feel pleased Leone Abbacchio. He enjoyed sipping wine on the balcony of his luxurious hotel room with the minor, implying how he wished someone else would accompany him instead of the blond. Abbacchio knew his words were harsh. If someone else had told the older man that, he would have left and held the grudge, but Giorno didn't seem very affected by his words. A part of Abbacchio was intrigued by how much it would take to push the younger man away.
Leone Abbacchio liked making comments such as wanting to kill himself by jumping off the balcony after fights with the capo to hear Giorno's reassuring phrases. Leone Abbacchio was always too drunk, and Giorno Giovanna never drank past a cup, but at the end of the day, Abbacchio was the responsible adult. A responsible adult who only sought to vent to the only person from the group who didn't worship nor owe his life to Buccellati. A responsible adult who only sought compliments and reassurance while drunk out of his mind only for disgust and embarrassment filled him once the intoxication faded.
Bruno Buccellati was not someone who could be fooled. He had a deep understanding of his partner, and when Leone stopped running back to him after arguments, he started suspecting infidelity. He would corner Leone in his bedroom, trying to get him to confess, but the taller man never did. Emotionally cheating and physically cheating were not the same.
____
It was night already, and Abbacchio hid from the capo's jealousy in Giorno's hotel room. The younger man had ordered a pizza and opened a bottle of wine in an attempt to bring comfort to the older man.
Giorno sat beside Abbacchio on the couch and kissed away the purple bruises on Abbacchio's left cheek and jaw. His lips pressed softly as the bruises healed with the power of his stand.
Abbacchio moved his face away as Giorno's lips remained against his skin, and the uncomfortable silence made it clear to Giorno that he could never fill Buccellati's shoes.
No.
Giorno knew he could fill Buccellati's shoes and more but Abbacchio would not let him. Abbacchio would not let him unless he got drunk enough.
"He hit me so hard. I saw stars."
Giorno withheld his reassurance, as withholding loving words always made Abbacchio more vulnerable and insecure. The older man looked up from his pizza and turned to Giorno who remained sitting beside him on his bedroom's couch with a calm expression.
Giorno encouraged Abbacchio's destructive tendencies by serving him more wine as the older man returned to being silent due to how upset he was about the capo's aggressive behavior.
Giorno almost felt sorry for him, but the older man could leave Buccellati if he really did not enjoy being hit.
By the time Abbacchio washed down the fourth cup of wine, Giorno decided to kiss him on the lips.
Leone Abbacchio was known for making a spectacle of himself whenever he drank. In the time Giorno had spent with the gang, he'd seen Abbacchio spam Buccellati with phone calls and bang at the capo's hotel room door. The tall man's body acted clingy, and his smokey eyes revealed insecurity and jealousy. Whether they were at conflict or in their honeymoon phase, the capo would always open his door for Abbacchio, and from outside the door, the older man's violet eyes scanned Buccellati's room while whoever was on suicide watch attempted to guide the inebriated man away so the capo could get on with his work.
Giorno Giovanna had concluded that when Abbacchio was intoxicated, he showed his true nature. Leone would reciprocate Giorno's affection, if the older man had any sort of feelings for him.
Abbacchio's first reaction was to shove Giorno aside. His anxious gaze darted across the younger man's bedroom, fearing that someone else would be hiding around the corner, waiting to confirm Buccellati's suspicions about Leone's infidelity.
The taller man staggered to his feet, about to leave, but Giorno moved faster than he did. With a strong grip on Abbacchio's arms, he restrained him while the inebriated man stumbled to maintain his balance. "No, Leone. Don't leave."
Giorno Giovanna got on top of Leone Abbacchio and kissed his neck while the older man lay motionless on the couch, overcome with dread. Every time the younger man tried to plant a kiss on his lips, Abbacchio would turn his face away. He refused to reciprocate Giorno's eager affection, despite his body betraying him.
"Leone, you don't have to be afraid of him. You'll be fine without him." Giorno's kisses ceased and his emerald eyes looked down at him. The fixated eye contact from the younger man consumed Abbacchio with guilt. It was as if the younger man truly loved him.
Abbacchio's mind wandered as Giorno pinned his wrists to the sides to stop the older man from resisting. He thought back to the night Narancia had knocked on Buccellati's bedroom door the week before, informing them that Giorno was crying.
Abbacchio just wanted a bit of attention, not to have the fucking kid fall in love with him. Abbacchio wasn't attracted to children. As a former police officer, he assisted in the rescue of kidnapped and trafficked youth. Alongside social workers and psychologists, he protected children from abusers in a number of court proceedings. But as the younger man held his jaw in place and hungrily kissed his lips, smearing his black lipstick, the older man froze under Giorno's touch.
Leone Abbacchio believed that emotionally cheating wasn't cheating, but now, by having the younger man kiss his lips, Abbacchio had cheated on Buccellati.
Giorno had reassured him so many times but his words didn't bring him any comfort nor made him feel safe. Abbacchio couldn't feel protected by a literal child.
Leone Abbacchio closed his eyes momentarily yet nothing could diminish the sickness that was surfacing up his stomach. "I don't feel well." He expressed moving his face away from Giorno. "I hope you know that this has nothing to do with you, Giorno." Abbacchio was going to be physically sick. How dare he emotionally mislead a child just because he had arguments with Buccellati. If anyone was in the wrong, it was Abbacchio. Even in his drunken state of mind, he could tell just how bad the consequences of finding comfort in Giorno after arguments with Buccellati were.
Leone Abbacchio could still be redeemed for all his wrongdoings. He just had to end whatever he had with Giorno. However, he was too drunk to form his thoughts into words. All his body and soul begged him to do was run to the upper floor and get in bed with Buccellati. Bruno Buccellati was the only man Leone Abbacchio wanted to be physically and emotionally intimate with.
The hotel room of Bruno Buccellati was on the floor above Giorno's, and Abbacchio was afraid the capo would use his stand to zip down and discover him like that while Giorno was holding him down.
Abbacchio was convinced the capo would never accept that Giorno was forcing him to stay in the position against his will.
Adults abuse children, not the other way around.
Giorno heard the older man sobbing as he broke off their kisses. Though Abbacchio's body responded positively to his weight, the older man's pale foundation was stained with tears and traces of mascara and eyeliner.
It was Abbacchio's moment to shove Giorno off and stand to his feet. In silence, Giorno watched from the couch as Abbacchio noticed his smeared black lipstick on one of his large wall mirrors. He immediately cleaned the lipsticks and then carefully reapplied some. The taller man looked well for Buccellati, even in these kinds of situations.
As Giorno watched Abbacchio walk towards the door, his silence vanished. "Are you truly returning to him?" His only wish was to stay with Abbacchio for a single night. He wanted to be close to the long-haired man, even if they did nothing. He was curious to find out if the other felt at least half as much as Giorno did for him, since if so, it would have been worth it to provide the older man constant consolation and attention.
"I don't think you understand the severity of the situation." Abbacchio spoke more to himself than to the younger man, who remained seated on the couch. It was Leone who didn't think through the consequences of his actions. He was so love-starved that he allowed some kid who barely met Italy's age of consent to shower him with loving phrases whenever things turned sour with Buccellati. "He's our capo." His hand trembled as he reached the doorknob. A capo who had quite a temper when provoked, and Leone was good at provoking people.
"I won't respond to him for long." Giorno's words made Leone turn back to look at him. "I've told you that I have a dream." If fear of Buccellati was the only reason Abbacchio refused to return Giorno's affection, the blond could fix that. He could save Leone. He could take care of Leone. Giorno was sure that if Leone gave him a chance, he wouldn't even be suicidal anymore.
"This again?" With a quick roll of his eyes, Leone transported Giorno back to his childhood home. His mother's eyes rolled over at the sound of his voice, her expression being critical and displeased. "Giorno, get real. We have no idea what the boss looks like. How on earth are you going to beat someone you don't know?"
Giorno straightened his clothes as he got up. Although he was aware of Abbacchio's inebriation, the taller man's comments and tone were vicious. He loathed feeling like the undesired and neglected child he used to be to his parents. "If you want to continue getting beat, then go back to him." Giorno's expression and voice remained calm and composed. "Maybe one day he'll hit you so hard that he'll beat you at killing yourself."
Giorno's bedroom was abruptly opened then closed as Leone Abbacchio checked his face one more time in the mirror before hurried out. The temptation to follow him was strong in Giorno. He envisioned, instead, Abbacchio storming up the hotel stairs and banging on Buccellati's bedroom door. Due to his intense desire for Abbacchio, the other man would always open his door right away. Once their disagreement was resolved, they would keep Giorno up all night listening to their passionate sounds.
Unable to take the images in his mind, Giorno rushed out of his hotel room and made his way down the stairs to the hotel bar past the lobby.
____
Giorno Giovanna sat in front of Narancia Ghirga and Mista Guido as he drank his feelings away. The other men gossiped about rumors within the mafia and who was fucking who, and Giorno had to look away to prevent the men in front of him from noticing that something was wrong.
"Don't be upset over some whore, Giorno." Mista must have noticed his heart break. "You'll be fine without her. Trust me."
His emerald eyes hopelessly searched the sea of people at the bar. The consoling effect of Mista's words was fleeting, but he was thankful to be comforted for once. Giorno couldn't help but wonder if Leone Abbacchio felt as hopeless and miserable as Giorno currently did whenever the blond tried to reassure him. He unconsciously made a table napkin into a red rose using his stand as he thought about what he could have said or done to keep Abbacchio in his room.
He thought for a long time, but he was unable to come up with anything. Bruno Buccellati had Leone Abbacchio's undying devotion.
The beautiful tall man was just a whore looking for attention, using Giorno as a means of self-gratification. Giorno Giovanna's presence had served as Leone Abbacchio's justification for not taking his own life, as he had repeatedly threatened to do. Giorno Giovanna was certain that Leone Abbacchio was only looking for a reaction.
No wonder Buccellati would hit him.
"That girl has huge tits! I call dips on her!!" Narancia's words woke him from his thoughts. "You can have her short friend, Giorno."
Giorno Giovanna briefly glanced at the direction Narancia enthusiastically pointed at before looking away. No matter how beautiful the women at the bar were, they weren't Abbacchio. Even if the man came downstairs wrapped in the capo's arm, Giorno still wanted to see him. He feared he had eyes for no one else.
"OH MY GOD!"
Giorno was startled out of his reverie by an American tourist's loud scream, and soon he was surrounded by people running toward the windows and out the hotel in an attempt to get a glimpse of what was outside in the pitch-black darkness.
"SOMEONE JUMPED FROM THE FIFTH FLOOR!"
"Fuck!" Mista's smile vanished completely, and his eyes lost their humorous gleam. He dropped the alcohol bottle. "That's the floor, right? Where Abbacchio's room is. Who was on suicide watch this week?"
"Not me! Buccellati assigned me to suicide watch last week!" Narancia jumped to his feet and started sprinting towards the group of people, his terrified voice growing more frantic.
Mista trailed fast after Narancia, and Giorno silently pushed himself behind.
The blond pricked his fingers against the thorns of the rose, trying to center himself. Did Abbacchio finally do it? Did he bully Abbacchio into suicide just because the older man didn't want him?
Stepping outdoors toward the crowd of people, Giorno Giovanna inhaled deeply as he felt the chill of the night brushing on his face. He distinctly recalled that, upon his arrival, Bruno Buccellati had revealed to him that the capo's lover experienced severe depressive episodes, which occasionally resulted in the man attempting suicide.
I can fix this. I can heal his wounds. I can bring him back. Desperately, Giorno comforted himself, as he thought he heard Narancia's sobbing somewhere in the crowd.