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Hold Me Close

Summary:

Stumbling on a lost child in the forest goes sideways for the party, unfortunately ending in the child's death and traumatising Tav, Gale steals them away for a moment of comfort and kindness. Emotions are high but ever the gentleman Gale is there to provide all the comfort and a shoulder to cry on that Tav needs.

Notes:

Back again, honestly after writing the first fic I had this horrible trauma idea that I simply couldn't get out my head, surely that makes me sick but I felt it was a fic I could write for out sweet and kind wizard.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It had all happened so quickly, a stray child found wandering the forest, one minute they were chatting away hopeful of recruiting the party to assist them back to their village, as quickly as their gleeful smile in the party's agreement to help them, it was quickly wiped away by the explosion that threw Tav backwards, the ringing in her ears blocking out the seeming chaos that began around her. The only sensation felt being Astarion grabbing her under arms to drag her backwards to safer ground, looking around blankly at the ensuing battle. Desperate to try climbing to her feet despite her body's refusal to stand, she urged herself to rise. On shaky legs she drew her longsword ready to aid the party in the slaughter of whatever force had exploded the innocent child right in front of her.

 

"Tav stay down! You're too injured!" She heard Shadowheart shout towards her, ignoring the Cleric's protests she began swinging at the vicious goblins that had begun their attack on the unsuspecting party. Knowing that she couldn't dissuade Tav from aiding them, a quick healing spell thrown her way to at least try reprieve some of the damaged she had sustained in the blast, Tav simply seeing red swinging with vigour at the evil beings. What sick monster slaughters an innocent child, how could they do this to their mother and father, a slaughtered child to bury caused simply for the sake of sating a murderous urge.

 

A hand grabbing at Tav's arm as she continued to lodge her sword into the goblin in front of her's corpse over and over, reducing the body to a pile of bloody mush and bones, she didn't realise she was screaming as she swung until the hand grabbing at her brought her back to the stark reality the party had found themself in. one more swing to lodge her sword in what would have been the goblin's skull, she took a minute to rejoin the land of consciousness, looking around at the dead bodies of slain goblins strewn around the forest clearing. A gaze to the side revealed the exact spot where the child she had been talking to not even 10 minutes ago had stood, their body much like the goblin in front of her reduced to a pile of mush, there was nothing left of the child to return to their village, no body, no bones, no belongings, nothing left to bury.

 

"Tav? You with us?" Came Gale's soothing voice, talking to her like a timid child, she hadn't realised until looking down at herself that she was covered head to toe in the child's blood and body. Her expression must have been that of dissociation, looking at her party they seemed reluctant to approach her. Dislodging her sword from the goblin mush she sheathed her weapon, ready to leave this area behind, "Let's... let's head back to camp." came her simple reply, without concern for if her party was following her, she started in the direction of camp.

 

Upon return to camp, she seated herself in her tent, unwilling to move herself to remove any of her armour, unwilling to wash the child's blood from her skin, only able to think, would things have ended differently for the child had they not stumbled upon them? Would the child have been able to safely evade their death had she not been there? Was it all a trap set by the goblins... had they noticed the child and waited for an unsuspecting victim to approach them to give them the opportunity to not only traumatise but kill? So wrapped up in her own thoughts she failed to notice Gale now crouched down in front of her, seemingly trying to speak with her.

"Tav? Are you in need of some assistance?" Came Gale's timid proposition, seemingly the only one of the party brave enough to approach their bloodied and traumatised leader, she had seen so much bloodshed in her life why now was she seemingly unable to function? Gazing up at him she didn't realise her eyes were slowly filling with tears, the wizard giving her a soft smile, almost pity at her current state. She was supposed to be their strong leader and here she was ready to cry covered in blood because she couldn't handle a little bit of death, how pathetic.

 

Silently he reached out, offering a hand to the broken woman, prepared to take on the challenge in front of him. Looking at the lifeline in front of her she took his hand. Standing silently, letting herself be led away from camp into the surrounding forest, she didn't pay much attention to where he was taking her, simply glad to get away from the stifling stares at camp. Only when they stopped did she look up, he had led her further up the stream to a small clearing, a man made path leading into the water in front of them. She finally took a moment to look the man over, he had brought all the supplies needed for her to bathe, soap, oils, makeshift towels, she didn't deserve this man’s kindness.

 

"Let's get you cleaned up." Gale gave her a soft smile, assessing him now she found that his smile was not pity but simply a soft smile, she didn't deserve softness, she got an innocent child killed, it was her fault, "I can hear you overthinking from here, let's get you sorted first and then we can worry about the horrible thoughts afterwards." it wasn't quite a demand but he wasn't giving her any room to object.

 

Her armour suddenly felt heavier, ready to drag her to the ground her silent looking asking for aid in removing the weight from her body, with soft hands and gentle touches he began helping unlatch the offending armour from her body. Reduced to her underclothes she couldn't find it in her to feel embarrassment or shame from her undressed state, he was here to help her not to judge her. Placing the items she needed to clean herself down closer to the entrance to the stream he gave her the opportunity to tell him to leave, give her the privacy she deserved, but she couldn’t trust herself alone, not with the thoughts racing through her mind.

"Stay." It came out so meekly, almost a whisper as if she didn't trust her own voice in that moment. The tears that had gathered in her eyes were threatening to spill if left to her own devices. With seemingly no concern of undressing himself Gale began removing his robes, allowing himself the same vulnerable state that Tav found herself in.

 

Both dressed down to their underwear, she considered wetting her underwear for the sake of decency but remembering their stark lack of clothing and money to purchase anymore she began removing her underwear, this seemed to break the wizard slightly as she noticed him turn himself away from her to grant her at least a little privacy. She found this endearing, doing all this for her but still being ever the gentleman, giving herself little time to consider the situation she moved herself towards the stream wading into the water, feeling the gentle sting of the slight coldness to the liquid, it wasn't a hot inn bath but it was better than nothing.

 

Slowly she heard him join her in the stream, a gentle hand touching her back to alert her of his closeness. "I can wash your hair for you, if you'd like?" he propositioned, she couldn’t think of anything better as running a hand through her hair matted with dirt and blood, she nodded slightly feeling herself unable to form words at the man's kindness, "I need you to use your voice dear, let me hear you." came Gale's soft voice, she felt herself almost melting at his urge to hear her verbal consent to touching her, "Yes, that would be nice." her quiet reply to the wizard's request. A hand coming to gently pull her body backwards to wet her hair, this moment of gentle intimacy sent a shockwave through her body, not used to such kindness she felt her tears finally ready to spill as his hand raked through her rats nest of hair maybe she could mistake them for rivets of water running down her face from the gentle splash on her head.

 

Gazing down at her closed eyes he noticed the slow fall of tears, all he wanted to do was scoop her up and take her away from this place, back to his tower in Waterdeep and protect her from whatever evil threatened this world, but of course he knew that impossible given their current situation... maybe once all this was over he could take her home, give her somewhere comfortable and safe to reside. He let himself get lost in thoughts of maybe's as he lathered the soap he had brought with him through her hair, smelling the flowery scent it released as he cleaned all the dirt and grime from her knotted locks, allowing himself to get lost in the domesticity of the situation he currently found himself in. Rinsing her hair clean of the suds he helped her back into a standing position in the water, gazing at the water running down her back, waiting for her to turn, to let him see her. If she would.

 

Turning towards the wizard's soft expression finally broke her completely, the tears were no longer small drops she could hide, it was ugly, ugly ugly ugly.

Through the thick tears gathering in her eyes she could make out the wizard reaching out to envelope her in a tight hug, she allowed herself to sob, guttural and loud into his shoulder grasping at any skin she could get her hands on almost clawing at him as if in a moment’s notice he'd vanish into thin air as if she had imagined the whole thing. "I'm here Tav, I'm right here" he soothed with a hand holding her heavy head closer to his body, allowing her the moment to just simply let go of all the emotions she was feeling. He felt her body shake as the sobs wracked her body, giving her soothing comfort in his hushed words.

 

Pulling away, her face red and swollen with the released emotion gazing at the man stood in front of her holding her feeble body close, he gave her one of those smiles reaching a hand up to swipe away the few tears that remained. "Feeling better?" he whispered as if speaking any louder than a hush would shatter her into a million pieces, giving her a reassuring squeeze he began helping her to clean the rest of the muck from her seemingly tonne weight body, as if he let go she would simply sink to the rocky base of the water. Once satisfied with the job he had done his hand grasping hers to lead her back towards dry land where he wrapped her in one of the towels he had hung on a nearby tree before gently lowering her to sit on the bank before wrapping himself up to sit beside her.

 

Leaning into his warm body Tav forced her walls to stay down, he'd seen it all now there was no point in trying to hide it, a head leant on top of her own relaxed her at least he didn't think she was any weaker for showing her emotions. "I understand you want to blame yourself for what happened out there, but I promise you Tav none of what happened is your fault, everyone has their fate in this world and unfortunately it was always destined to happen no matter how differently you may try to think." of course he was the rational of the two, his words piercing through the loathing she felt for herself, maybe if she listened to him her brain would actually believe the words he was telling her.

 

A shiver making its way through her body reminded her that she was currently sat at the bay of a river with nothing but a towel covering her modesty and keeping what little body heat she had in her, rising to his feet Gale moved to collect their clothing looking over her weakened state he decided dressing himself first would be the smart decision before aiding Tav in re clothing. Slowly to avoid startling her he began helping her back into her clothing, foregoing her armour helping her rise to her feet. Linked arms as he carried her armour back towards camp, Tav clutched to his arm like a lifeline unwilling to let go, this given comfort being something she refused to let escape her.

 

Back to her tent, armour hung back up on its rack, Tav tucked into her bedroll with a pleading look in her eye, begging him not to leave her. Climbing into the rather tight bedroll, entangling his limbs with her own allowing himself the comfort of tucking her into his side, guarding her from the world, her protector for the night, a gentle kiss to the crown of her head as the exhaustion of the day finally caught up to her, smiling down at the yawning woman beside him he gently whispered.

 

"I'm here."

Notes:

Thank you so much for reading! Honestly getting back into this writing business is doing wonders, having something to come home to from work that isn't just rotting playing Baldur's Gate but instead writing about it is refreshing.

Reviewed/Reposted 23/04/2024

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