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“Dylan!”
Dylan turned around, still a little groggy from waking up at five in the goddamn morning. Sometimes he wondered how life would be if he weren’t acting, what would he be doing? He always wondered about stuff like this. If he took the other choice, would he still be standing here right now? Even if the choice was as simple as making coffee? Does his actions have different paths, and when he thinks actions he means all actions. Usually, this is the moment where he goes into an existential crisis. He softly shook the thoughts away from his mind, and looked to where the enthusiastic voice came from.
“Hey Wes, what d’ya need?” He smiled; always ready to talk to Wes. He adored all of his friends in this movie, especially Thomas. His smile because more soft as he thought about his best friend.
“Why you lookin’ so in love, Dyl?” Wes smirked.
Dylan whipped his head at Wes and started turning pink. He looked like a kid who got caught snooping at their presents. He looked down and cleared his throat before looking back at Wes.
“Thinking of you, babe.” Dylan replied half-smoothly as he put on that stupid little grin every girl adored.
Instead of Wes blushing and dying right there like a normal fangirl would, he looked at Dylan with a blank look before playfully rolling his eyes.
“Alright, so do you know what scenes we’re shooting today?”
“…Maybe…” Dylan sheepishly said.
“Godhelpyou, anyway! We’re doing Newts Death Scene today. Just givin’ you a heads up. See you then, Dyl!” Wes ran over to some of the other crew, probably to go talk to them about the movie. Wes hasn’t taken a day off since the beginning, always thinking about the movie. It was sweet, in a way.
Dylan thought over Wes’ words until it hit him. We have to film Thomas shooting Newt in the head. We have to film me pretending to shoot Thomas in the head. He swallowed hard because his throat was too dry. He’s been dreading this moment, and now it was finally here. Three movies mean three scenes of Newt and Thomas. The first one, the scene where they almost kissed. The second one, the scene where they had a heart-felt moment, which didn’t make it into the movie. And finally the third one, the final moment between the duos. The scene that will leave you (and Dylan) with heartache.
Dylan frowned. He had a weird feeling that today would be a hard day to get through. He always had days like this, and he didn’t know how to deal with them. There was already a knot forming in his heart, a need to cry, and the air seemed to thin. Usually on days like this, he would go to Thomas. Thomas’ presence helped him through everything, and almost all the time Thomas knew that Dylan was having a bad day. So on days like this, Thomas could immediately read him and he would bring Dylan into his arms and just hold him. Dylan always buried his head into Thomas’ warm chest while Thomas would gently place his chin on top of Dylan’s head. They helped each other. It’s always been this way.
But today didn’t seem like the right time to go to Thomas. Even though it didn’t make sense, in a way he knew that spending time with Thomas make it even harder for him to do the scene. So instead, no matter how much he wanted to talk to his best friend (potential crush) he went to Ki Hong instead. Ki Hong would always be there for him, he even knew about Dylan’s interest in Thomas (he also knew about Thomas’ interest in Dylan but no matter how much he wanted to get them together, he promised both of them that he wouldn’t tell a soul.) Dylan found Ki Hong in his hotel room, and he quickly turned the knob, entering the door and softly sitting on the bed next to Ki Hong. Ki Hong looked at his in a curios stare, as he knew something wasn’t sitting right with Dylan today. Ki Hong turned his body and put his head on the palm of his head, ready to talk.
“What’s up?” He said with a smile that hid his eyes.
Dylan looked at him with thankfulness in his eyes as he copied Ki Hong’s posture before taking a big breath.
“We’re shooting ‘Newts Death Scene’ today and I don’t know...” Dylan slightly lost confidence half way through. Before he could get another word out, Ki Hong got up and quietly shut the door and locked it. He knew Dylan was being serious about this. He knew when a moment was going to happen.
“Sorry, I know a moment when I see one,” Ki Hong winked as Dylan made a fake gagging sound. “Continue.”
“Okay, well, I don’t really know how to feel? Yeah... feel.” Dylan looked up in a confused manner, though it just made him look like a puppy.
“What’re you confused about?” Ki Hong leaned towards Dylan.
"How I’m gonna react to it, I guess. Like, what if I can’t do it? What if I can’t get the words out? What if I make a complete fool out of myself in front of Thomas?” Dylan said worriedly, like a bunch of new thoughts, bad ones, came flooding into his mind like how a burst of cold air freezes your bones.
"You’re not gonna do that, and, hey, even if you mess up the first few times Thomas will understand because that’s acting. He’s messed up, we’ve all messed up lines or movements. He’ll understand.” Ki Hong patted Dylan’s shoulder in reassurance.
Dylan sighed and looked away from Ki Hong, eyes gazing towards the tan carpet. “You think? What if he thinks I’m a fuckin’ lo-”
“Yeah, trust me on this one, he would never think like that towards you.” Ki Hong ended it with a cheeky wink and a smile.
“Why do you say it like that?” Dylan asked, mind filling with a little bit of hope. ‘Maybe he meant it as ‘Thomas is your friend, he wouldn’t judge you.’ Or maybe he meant something else?’ Dylan shook off the hope because he knew nothing like that would ever happen, not in a million years, and looked back to Ki Hong.
Just as Ki Hong was about to answer (without a doubt a complete lie) the door opened, revealing Kaya.
Hey assholes we have to film that scene. So, I just need to take Dylan here...” Kaya’s voice got smaller as she was coming closer to the boys before grabbing Dylan by his shirt.
“Feisty one, aren’t ya?” Dylan said to her as he compliantly followed her. His heart started beating faster each step he took. There was the same feeling again in his heart, like a wave washing by, the feeling throbs then goes away, throbs then goes away, until the throbbing starts getting faster and faster and soon his whole chest area is filled with the feeling. His throat closed up and that was when he knew he was fucked.
"Hey, Dyl!” Thomas said in an excited voice, the complete opposite of how Dylan was feeling. Dylan looked up from the ground to see Thomas there, a huge grin on his face. In return, Dylan shot him (something he will be doing in a certain scene) a weak smile, before it faltered as he heard Wes call for him.
Thomas’ own smile died (something his character will be doing) down as he really looked at Dylan (potential crush). Dylan’s eyes seemed sad, in a way. Empty but still there. In a transition to being completely empty soon. Thomas furrowed his eyebrows, as he looked at Dylan with a worried glace. ‘Was today one of his bad days?’
“Dylan, are you o-“
Before he could finish his sentence, Dylan looked at him with a fake smile before going over to Wes. Thomas instantly knew something was wrong. For now, they had to do a scene.
“Hey, I just wanted to ask you if you’re completely fine with doing this scene today. I noticed that you didn’t have that aura of happiness today as you usually do. Anything I could do for you, buddy?” Wes spoke in a gentle but fast-paced voice. He also used many hand gestures to describe how Dylan’s ‘aura’ looked like.
“Yeah, man, of course. Willing to do anything, you know that.” Dylan spoke with fake confidence as he patted Wes on the back.
“All right then, lets get started.” Wes playfully rubbed his hands today. Dylan laughed, that motion somehow bringing his mood up a tiny bit. He loved them all, so, so much. He couldn’t see a world without them.
--
“Do it before I become one of them!” Thomas screamed his lines.
Dylan messed up twice, so this was the third try for filming this scene. Throughout all of these tries, he kept thinking of Thomas. Thomas Brodie-Sangster, instead of Newt. He should think of Newt, as thinking of a fictional character (who is very, very real in our hearts) would be easier to do. But instead he thought of Thomas, a man who he could not lose. Dylan blinked before delivering his line.
“I...”
“KILL ME!” Thomas’ grip on Dylan tightened before he crumpled on top of Dylan. Dylan’s eyes showed real horror as he heard Newts last words.
"Please, Tommy, please.”
With his actual heart falling into a black abyss, Dylan pretended to shoot the real-but-fake-gun. A part of him expected to hear a real gun shot instead of a click, and that was the moment he realized that if this were real, this scene, then Thomas, the man he loves, would be dead.
"Annnnd scene!” Wes shouted with the help of his microphone. Everybody around them clapped as Thomas got up from Dylan, finding a comfy spot next to the brunet who sat up only a little bit. Thomas looked over at Dylan when he realized the shuddering breath was coming from him, and he immediately knew he was starting to have a panic attack.
Dylan’s breath got deeper, a need to breath when there was no air, and his head got hazy as he looked down at the ground. Everybody had their eyes wide open, their impulse not knowing what to do until Ki Hong (literally) jumped in front of Dylan before taking him in his arms, rocking them back and forth as he whispered calming words.
“You did it, Dyl. You did the scene. I need you to breath for me, in and out okay buddy? Like this,” Dylan moved his head to where he could see Ki Hong. Ki Hongs voice was the only thing he could hear. Dylan copied Ki Hong, breathing in and out slowly. “Look at you, you’re doing great. Now, as much as I would love to cuddle my friends, I think you need to cuddle someone else.”
Ki Hong slightly pushed Dylan away from him, pushing him towards Thomas who was still sitting there in shock. He felt so sad knowing he wasn’t there for him today. He needed Dylan as close as possible. Thomas immediately opened his arms as Dylan crawled into them, putting his head on Thomas’ chest as he wrapped his arms around the blonds’ middle. Thomas, in return, put his arms around Dylan’s back as he buried his face into the brunets’ soft hair. He gently started swaying.
Everybody around them stood shocked about Dylan’s panic attack, but they didn’t leave. That was a good choice for Dylan because he needed all of the comfort he could get, especially from the man who was holding him.
“You okay, love?” Thomas whispered into the soft hair.
Dylan slightly nodded as he buried further into Thomas, hiding his face because of the blush that was consuming his face. He felt slightly better when he realized that everything was done, that this scene was in the past. Thomas is still here.
Dylan cleared his throat before moving away from Thomas so he could speak. They were only a few inches apart but both Dylan and Thomas were completely fine with that.
“Sorry, I...” Dylan trailed off as he sheepishly looked down again.
“It’s okay, Dyl.” Thomas said with a smile as he reached out to put his hand on top of Dylan’s.
“Well, long story short, I kept thinking of you, Thomas, instead of Newt. I- I thought of how it would be like if that scene was real, if I actually lost you. I don’t think I would be able to handle that.” Dylan stuttered out as tears started to well up. He felt stupid, whiney. He only hoped this wouldn’t change anything between them.
Thomas looked at him with a sad expression. His heart broke when he heard Dylan’s words. He let out a tiny breath before using two fingers to tilt the sad brunets’ head up.
Dylan looked at him with big, sad eyes as he waited for the saying. We’re not friends anymore, you’re weird, I’m disgusted, Go away. These were the words he expected to hear. What he didn’t expect was soft lips to come crashing onto his. He let out a squeak before it turned into a sigh of pleasure. He kissed back almost instantly and he grew desperate as he pushed Thomas down to the ground. He got on top of him as he initiated the kiss this time, a deep but gentle kiss. A kiss where you could feel the love, even if you weren’t the one kissing, but only observing.
That’s what everyone around them saw. As all of the girls awed and all of the guys smirked and threw very suggestive comments at the boys in love, they could all feel the love between the two. The most heard comment was Ki Hongs, “Fucking finally!” It was like a cheesy love story. Hell, it is a cheesy love story.
“W- What?” Dylan asked as he gasped for breath while looking down at Thomas, who looked like he was in heaven.
“I- I like you. A lot, actually, a bloody lot.” Thomas stuttered, his face turning a pink hue.
Dylan suddenly gained confidence as he grinned and kissed the blonds’ nose. Thomas scrunched up his nose.
“I like you too. A lot.” Dylan said with a wink as he leaned down to rest on Thomas’ chest. He nosed the pale neck and pecked the skin before cuddling his new boyfriend.
Thomas shuddered when he felt the neck kiss but laughed, as Dylan was being a total softy.
"Sorry about the panic attack, everyone. I don’t know what happened.” Dylan felt the need to reassure that everything was okay, amazing in fact.
“I love you. Have for a long time, actually.” Thomas whispered as he tightened his grip on his lover.
“Are we upgrading?” Dylan laughed as he looked up, chin on Thomas’ chest.
"Yeah, mate.”
Dylan giggled (and it was very manly) as he softly shook his head before delivering his line.
“I love you too.”