Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The success of Yeji’s Sunday is hanging on a knife-edge. Quite literally. She holds her breath as she makes the first cut into the freshly (and somehow successfully) rolled kimbap. She’s not the only one who’s stressed. Momo is hovering next to her, doing her best to not appear too concerned (which is fair because Yeji maybe cut herself just yesterday attempting the same thing).

“Remember. Don’t press down too hard just, yeah, back and forth like that. Nice!”

Yeji cringes at the volume of Momo’s voice but manages to not mess up. Great, now she just has to do that like eight more times. And then again to the second roll. Easy. Or it might be if Sana and Mina weren’t both leaning on the kitchen pass-through and watching her.

“Never thought I’d see The Rizzler herself making a romantic picnic for a girl,” Sana coos, “What a world.”

Yeji doesn’t need to look up to know that she’s wearing a shit-eating grin. Teasing each other about girls is nothing new, and Yeji doesn’t usually mind the gentle ribbing, but now is not the time. Instead of gracing her roommate with a response, she takes a fortifying breath and starts on the next slice. Momo remains silent and tense at her side, somehow even more focused than she is.

“I think it’s sweet,” Mina chides, smacking Sana on the shoulder, “You’re doing great, Yeji.”

Yeji smiles at the encouragement, though she’s worried it comes off as more of a grimace with how focused she is. Momo lets out a sigh of relief at the second successful slice. Yeji would be offended if she was less self-aware. The girl has every reason to be stressed. After all, she’s the one who so tenderly applied the Neosporin and Hello Kitty bandaid to Yeji’s palm when she sliced into it during their last practice run (and is also the one who spent most of her free time for the past two weeks coaching her in the culinary arts).

“Do you think Ryujin is gonna date you if you end up giving her food poisoning?” Sana asks, quite helpfully.

The next slice comes out crooked and a bit too thick, but the kimbap (and her hands) remain otherwise intact, so Yeji grits her teeth and keeps going.

“Remember to breathe,” Momo whispers.

“Like when you workout,” Mina adds, “You don’t want to strain anything.”

It’s hard to tell if Mina is teasing her or genuinely trying to help, but Yeji does try to breathe. She’s not sure if it helps, but, by some miracle, she manages to finish slicing the rest of the kimbap with little to no drama. By the time she starts on the second (and thankfully final) roll, Mina and Sana have finally fallen into conversation with each other instead of watching her quite so intently. They stay nearby, and Yeji honestly appreciates the company now that she doesn’t feel as watched.

She’s all done a few minutes later. The end result isn’t pretty, but it is edible based on the end piece that she and Momo split. Yeji is pretty damn proud of herself to be honest. Like, sure, it would be prettier and taste better if she’d driven into the city to buy some at H Mart, but she made this herself. (With lots of help and emotional support from Momo, but still).

“I still think it’s ridiculous that I had to teach you how to make kimbap when I’m not Korean,” Momo sighs, sagging against the counter.

Yeji closes the tupperware and slides it away from herself before she can accidentally knock it to the ground or do something else tragic.

“You’re my favorite roommate, and I love you forever?” she offers.

Sana gasps, scandalized, and Mina huffs out a laugh. 

Momo grins. “You’re damn right.”

Yeji blows her a kiss as she sidles by her to rummage around in the fridge for her other picnic materials. She sets everything out on the counter and eyes it one last time to make sure she has everything. 

Momo whistles. “Damn. Unsweetened iced tea? Love really changes people, huh?”

“I’m leaving,” Yeji grumbles as she starts shoving stuff into her backpack.

“Just text the group chat if you need us to clear out of the apartment,” Sana says with a lascivious wink.

Okay, that’s it. She needs to get the hell out of here before she kills one of her roommates (not Mina though, Mina is perfect). She closes the apartment door to an assortment of “knock her dead” and “good luck, cutie” and the like. 

The sudden quiet of being alone jacks up her nerves instantly. Being teased by her roommates and focusing all of her energy on cooking made it easy to not linger on the fact that she’s going to ask Ryujin out today. She’s been preparing for and anticipating this day for the past two weeks, but now that it’s here she feels kind of like she’s floating. The walk to the parking lot takes forever and also passes in the blink of an eye. She doesn’t think she’s ever been so nervous. The thought of Ryujin saying no—the thought of ruining their relationship because she wants more—sits heavy in the pit of her stomach. 

She really does think Ryujin likes her, like, spring break wasn’t a fever dream, right? Unfortunately, rational thought only goes so far when it comes to matters of the heart (matters that Yeji had never had to deal with before this academic year). She sets her backpack down in the back seat and buckles it in for good measure. If anything happens to that fucking kimbap she’ll lose her mind.

Ryujin had mentioned off-hand during break that she misses her mom’s kimbap when she’s at school, which is what gave her the idea. It’s maybe not the grandest gesture in the world, but it was the best she could come up with. Yeji gets situated in the car and shoots Ryujin a text to let her know she’ll be there in five.

Somehow, all the time spent under Momo’s tutelage in the kitchen wasn’t the hardest part of the past couple of weeks (except for when she’d had to lie to Ryujin about what she was doing all weekend, she doesn’t know if she’ll ever forgive herself for how crestfallen the girl had looked). No, the hardest part was knowing that she’s finally going to tell Ryujin how she feels and having to think about that every single time they saw each other.

She can’t stop thinking about the way she’d called Ryujin “baby” the other night. She’s never called anyone that before, but it had come out so naturally. It feels weirdly vulnerable, like she told Ryujin she loves her or something. She doesn’t love her—they’re not even dating, that would be insane—but it felt like a confession all the same. (Also, just because Yeji’s never been in love before doesn’t mean she can’t feel it creeping up on her already, slow, inevitable).

She can’t dwell on that anymore though because Fisher is in sight. It’s game time.

“So, what’s the surprise?” Ryujin asks as she buckles into the passenger seat.

Yeji manages to keep a neutral expression as she takes an extra moment to adjust her already perfectly adjusted seat.

“No surprise. Just been a while since we went on a drive.”

Ryujin narrows her eyes in scrutiny, corners of her mouth turning down. What had Jisu said again? Does she make too much eye contact or not enough when she’s lying? It’s definitely more suspicious to not look at someone, right? Yeah, that seems right. Yeji stares Ryujin down with what she can only pray is a straight face until she finally looks away, her frown deepening. Nailed it. Maybe.

“Do you mind if I put on some music?” 

Ryujin shrugs. “It’s your car.”

Yeji plugs her phone into the aux, puts on the playlist she made, and finally pulls away from Fisher. The silence between them is uncharacteristically awkward, but she’s not really sure what to say to break it. Luckily, Ryujin catches on to her first little surprise soon enough, which definitely eases the tension. The playlist she put on is full of the bands that Ryujin likes—The Smiths, Inhaler, The Kooks, Franz Ferdinand—and Yeji’s been putting it together since break. 

Yeji loves music, and she loves that it was something they bonded over from the start. Finding the overlap in their music tastes as they were getting to first know each other was great, but it’s been even nicer to discover new stuff through their relationship.

Ryujin is wearing a curious expression now. She looks like she can’t decide if she’s pleased or even more suspicious, face scrunched up in that cute Ryujin way. Yeji wishes she could kiss her nose. She sighs.

Ryujin eyes her. “What?”

Yeji mulls over her response for a second and decides, fuck it. The whole point of today is for her to be honest with Ryujin, so why not start now?

“It just sucks that I can’t kiss you right now,” she admits, “You’re so cute, it’s driving me crazy.”

And Ryujin is cute today (she always is). She’s wearing distressed jeans and an oversized navy blue waffle knit shirt. It makes her look extra soft and like she should be Yeji’s girlfriend now. She doesn’t say that part out loud, that’s maybe a bit too honest for this point in the afternoon. It’s silent for a few seconds save for the music and the rhythmic click click click of the right blinker.

Finally, so quietly Yeji can barely hear it, Ryujin mutters, “You can just kiss me later then. So impatient.”

Yeji laughs out loud, both at Ryujin’s embarrassed pout and at how excited she is to do just that.

“I knew it!” Ryujin exclaims as they pull into the grassy parking lot, “What’s with you and acting like you’re kidnapping me whenever we come here?”

Yeji laughs at the excited outburst. She puts the car in park and kills the engine. 

“Have we finally moved past the serial killer bit?” she asks, “Because I could definitely work that in.”

“I think we’re past it,” Ryujin chuckles.

“Roger that.”

After (very carefully) grabbing her backpack and putting it on, Yeji meets Ryujin at the side of the car. She looks like she’s about to say something, but Yeji leans in before she gets the chance. Her lips are warm, and she melts into the kiss so quickly that it makes Yeji feel giddy (and a bit turned on). Ryujin gently pushes her away by the shoulder a second later.

“What was that for?” She’s smiling.

Yeji shrugs. “You said I could kiss you later. Let’s go.”

She grabs Ryujin’s hand and is thrilled when she twines their fingers together without seeming to give it a second thought. The way their palms press together tamps down her nerves even more than the easy banter from a moment ago. She was feeling scared shitless earlier, but the longer they’re together, the more relaxed she feels. Being with Ryujin is just so easy. Even in the beginning, when Yeji was overwhelmed by the novelty of having an honest to god crush, it was easy. 

Ryujin is just so…Ryujin. She’s grounded and calm, endlessly meticulous and intentional with how she interacts with the world and treats others (except for when she’s frustrated or competitive, but that’s just charming in its own way). What’s the point of being anxious when Ryujin’s grip on her hand tightens as she gasps at the sight that opens up before them?

The flower field is different at this time of year, with spring blooms just starting to take over after the winter. There are whites and soft blues, some purples too. It’s also nice how alive it feels despite how early it is in the season, the grass is growing in, and the trees are a youthful green. It’s sunny too, and Yeji can already tell she’s going to shed her flannel eventually. She tugs Ryujin’s hand gently and leads her to the same tree they sat under during fall break.

“You should see it later in the spring,” she says, “You wouldn’t believe how beautiful it is.”

Ryujin looks up at her with a smile so bright it kind of takes Yeji’s breath away. The sun is dancing in her eyes, and they’re so brown and so beautiful that it’s practically impossible to not fall into them (and into her).

“Promise to bring me back?”

Yeji smiles back. The answer to that is as easy as breathing. 

“Promise.”

They set out the blanket together, and Yeji begins to lay out her attempt at a picnic once they’re settled in. Ryujin watches, eyebrows raised as she takes out a couple of bags of chips, two cups, and the unsweetened iced tea. Next is an assortment of citrus—clementines, oranges, tangerines, even a tangelo. 

She couldn’t even keep track of how many of the suckers Ryujin went through this winter, but she can’t for the life of her remember what they were. They all kind of seem the same to her, but she doesn’t want to say that out loud.

“I forgot which one you like,” she explains, feeling sheepish.

“It’s, uh, it’s tangerines.” Ryujin’s voice is quiet. “But they’re all good. Thanks, Yeji.”

Yeji grins, relieved. “Awesome.”

Okay, moment of truth. She takes out the homemade kimbap, opens it, and lets out a relieved sigh when she sees that it’s still intact (or at least as intact as it had been when she packed it). Ryujin perks up as she peers into the container. What was all that she was saying earlier about not being nervous? Whatever it was, she might have to take it back. Kissing Ryujin, holding her hand, and making her laugh are all things that give Yeji butterflies, but they’re the good kind. The kind she’s used to. 

The vulnerability (and genuine risk) of cooking for her is something new. Something that reminds Yeji of why she maybe shouldn’t be feeling so calm. Sure, she doesn’t have an exact plan of how she’s going to get to the whole “I really like you” portion of the afternoon, but she knows what she wants to say and she knows that they’re not getting back in that car until she says it. And none of that is going to happen if they just sit here in silence while Ryujin peels a tangerine with alarming dexterity and speed. 

“You said you miss your mom’s kimbap, so I thought…” Yeji trails off, feeling incredibly shy. “I made it myself, believe it or not.”

Ryujin stares at her for a few long seconds, down to the kimbap, back up at her. Yeji is finding it impossible to read into her expression (only partly because of the half a tangerine she’s currently chewing).

Eventually she swallows, chuckles, and says, “Trying to sweep me off my feet, Hwang?”

“Is it working?” Yeji means to inject levity into her voice, but the words come out hushed and dead serious.

Ryujin stills, eyes widening. She stops peeling her second tangerine part way through and just stares at her in silence. Yeji expected this next moment to be hard. It’s months in the making, after all. Months of crushing and falling and overthinking and Ryujin Ryujin Ryujin. But, now that she’s staring into those doe eyes, she feels ready. She feels more than ready to be honest. It’s easy to push away her nerves once more when this moment feels inevitable.  

“You know I’ve had a crush on you since the first week of school?” she starts, “Like, I saw you in Figure Drawing and couldn’t believe how pretty you were. And then it just got worse after we actually started talking. You’re probably the coolest girl I’ve ever known. You’re smart, and cute, and sexy, and so creative… I could keep going with the compliments if you want, but…”

Yeji takes a shaky breath. She’s feeling perhaps calmer than she should, but she still needs to steel herself for this next part. It really had been a little crush at first, but it’s grown into something much more important, much more serious. She can’t fuck this up. 

“…I was kind of hoping to save them for when we’re dating. If you’ll give me a chance?”

Ryujin continues to stare, still holding her forgotten tangerine. The only sign that she’s taken in anything that Yeji just said is the dusting of pink that reaches from her cheeks to the tips of her ears.

“Yeji are you…” Her voice is low, hesitant. “Is this you asking me out?”

Maybe it’s because of how she’s blushing, maybe it’s because of how genuine the question is, no sign of her snark left, maybe it’s just because Yeji is so fucking ready for this moment. Whatever the cause, Yeji feels bold.

“Do you want me to try it a different way?” she teases, “I can improv it.”

“No, no.” Ryujin’s voice is small. “Don’t do that. This is fine.”

“Okay, so… Is that a yes?”

It sounds like a yes, but Yeji is really going to need Ryujin to be more explicit with her answer. Being rejected would be devastating, but being politely rejected and not even realizing it at first would be even worse. Ryujin starts toying with the ring on her pointer finger as the silence stretches between them a beat too long. Oh god. 

To be honest, Yeji hadn’t really prepared herself for being turned down. Spring break made her feel so confident, and Jisu had assured her she wasn’t reading into things incorrectly. Yeji is one more second of strained silence away from freaking out, but then—

“Why me?”

Yeji thinks for a moment that she imagined the question. Ryujin is an understated and humble person, but she’s never seemed truly insecure. Or, when she is insecure, it’s mostly when she feels that she hasn’t done enough, not that she herself isn’t enough.

“Have you met you?” Yeji finally asks, and then in an attempt to lighten the mood, “You trying to run through my store of compliments early?”

Ryujin smiles, but it’s muted, unsure. “Maybe I am.”

Yeji reaches out to grab Ryujin’s hand. She realizes a second too late that the physical contact might not be welcome since she’s the direct cause of her discomfort. Luckily, Ryujin barely reacts, just switching from fidgeting with her own fingers to fidgeting with Yeji’s instead. That’s good. She’s still a bit freaked out that she asked Ryujin out and hasn’t received a “yes” yet, but that’s not as important to her as answering this question. Her answer genuinely boils down to, “how could it be anyone but you,” but that feels like a cop-out. Ryujin’s question seems sincere, so she deserves a sincere answer. 

“I guess it’s like…I wasn’t really avoiding relationships for any big, deep reason. I’ve just never liked anyone in a real way. It felt more important to focus on soccer and school and my friends instead of looking for something I didn’t need. I don’t hook up with girls who I don’t vibe with or like as people, but it’s never been like…” She trails off, feeling suddenly self-conscious.

She wishes she had some beautiful, well-articulated speech to drop and wow Ryujin—a window into her soul, into her true character and all of her romantic and sexual motivations—but she doesn’t really. Maybe the reasons she fell for Ryujin are too complex to distill, maybe they’re too simple. Maybe she’ll have an epiphany five years from now, and she can roll over in their bed in their apartment and finally tell Ryujin the answer to that question she asked her back when they were kids.

Ryujin squeezes her hand. She’s looking at her intently now, no longer avoiding eye contact. She looks scared, but also hopeful (or maybe Yeji is just projecting because that’s sure as hell how she feels). Whether or not she’s reading her correctly, she feels grounded by the touch and by those warm eyes. She only has one more thing to say.

“You’re my dream girl.”

Ryujin still doesn’t say anything, but Yeji is too focused on how flushed she is to worry about that. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen her this red before. It’s maybe the most adorable thing she’s ever seen. 

Scratch that, the most adorable thing she’s ever seen is the way Ryujin scoots close and buries her face into the collar of her flannel. Yeji’s heart jumps up into her throat and stays there. She wraps a careful arm around Ryujin’s shoulders and squeezes. They sit like that for a few seconds before Ryujin shifts around a bit. Yeji looks down to find the girl looking up at her, cheek squished against her collarbone, lips set in a pout. 

“Of course I wanna date you,” she mutters, “I’ve liked you since Halloween.”

Oh.

“You said you didn’t want anything serious,” Yeji replies in disbelief. 

“I lied.”

Oh. Well, if she’d known that before then this whole thing probably would’ve happened a lot sooner. Not that Ryujin’s to blame. It’s on both of them. Or neither of them? She doesn’t really care at this point because it’s happening now. 

Yeji is thinking and feeling so many things at once that it’s impossible for it to gel into anything coherent. She might be ecstatic, she might be panicked, she might be the most at peace she’s ever felt. She’s not really sure. What she is sure of is the fact that she has to kiss Ryujin. Now. 

So she does. 

Ryujin’s cheek is warm on her palm, her lips are soft, the sigh she lets out is softer. She tastes like tangerines and sunshine and Ryujin. Yeji holds her even closer with the arm that’s wrapped around her shoulders, strokes a thumb across her cheekbone, parts her lips to deepen the kiss. Kissing Ryujin has been one of her favorite things to do since their first back in December, but that’s easily topped by kissing Ryujin when she’s hers. Yeji pulls away (barely, just a centimeter or two), and gazes down at Ryujin whose eyes are fluttering open, dazed. 

“Are you mine?” 

She hopes it’s not too much too fast. It might be, but they’ve been doing this dance for so long it feels like it wouldn’t hurt to make up for lost time. Some people don’t like that kind of thing though, think it’s possessive or corny or whatever. Maybe she’s possessive, maybe she’s corny, maybe she’s whatever. She just needs the answer to be—

“I’m yours.”

When their lips meet again, there’s a hunger, a need, thrumming heavy in Yeji’s chest. She lays Ryujin down on the blanket as their lips work against each other. Soon enough, she’s leaning over her, lips trailing down her neck. Ryujin’s hand is on her nape, her hips pressing up against her thigh as Yeji bites down on the perfect spot where her neck slopes to her shoulder. She would live in that pocket of warmth and softness and cinnamon if she could. She sucks at the delicate skin, almost heady with how much she wants to paint it with perfect bruises. 

“Wait,” Ryujin gasps, placing a hand on her shoulder to make her stop, “I’m all out of concealer. No hickies today.”

Yeji pushes herself up, leans her weight on her elbow, and gazes down at Ryujin. She tries to break away from the haze of arousal that’s already settled over her, but it’s hard. Especially when Ryujin is looking up at her with hooded eyes, cheeks pink and chest rising and falling with a hypnotic rhythm. 

“I’ll take you to the mall on the way home. They have a Sephora.”

Ryujin is quiet for a moment, and then, “…Fine.”

Yeji returns to Ryujin’s neck with gusto, biting down hard enough to draw out a hissed swear before soothing the skin with kitten licks and the gentle brush of her lips. She does it a few more times, unable to think about anything other than the trust Ryujin has in her, anything other than how much she wants to make Ryujin feel good for as long as she’ll have her. 

Eventually, Ryujin pats her head with a breathless laugh. Yeji looks up to find her smiling a fond smile.

“Get up here.”

Yeji listens, sliding herself up on the blanket so they’re face to face once more. Ryujin is still smiling at her. She brushes Yeji’s hair behind her ear with a lingering touch before that same hand is pulling her in until they’re nose to nose. Ryujin nuzzles against her, and Yeji giggles. 

“You’re an animal,” Ryujin sighs, “Is this what being your girlfriend is gonna be like?”

If Yeji was happy before, hearing Ryujin refer to herself as her girlfriend has pushed her to some as yet undiscovered plane of existence. She wants with so much voracity that it catches her off guard. Instead of acting on that fire, she tries to match Ryujin’s slower pace. She reaches for the hand that’s been resting on her waist and intertwines their fingers. She pulls away a bit, so Ryujin can see her face, and winks. 

“Only one way to find out I guess.”

Ryujin brings their joint hands up to eye level and studies Yeji’s palm with a curious hum. She strokes her thumb across the Hello Kitty bandaid. 

“What’s this?”

Yeji’s brain has the decency to take a break from its happy spiral to feel embarrassed. She settles in more comfortably next to Ryujin on the blanket, pushing her backpack out of the way with her foot as she stretches out on her back with a grunt. 

“I cut myself while I was practicing in the kitchen the other day.”

A pause. Then, “You practiced?”

Yeji sighs, admits, “Almost every day for two weeks.”

Ryujin just looks at her and looks at her and looks at her. Yeji can’t quite read her expression, and she’s a bit too distracted by how pretty her eyes are in the sunlight to even try. She holds eye contact as she waits for her to say something back. She’s happy to follow Ryujin’s lead, as much as her hands are itching with the need to strip her bare, to give her everything she has and more.

And then Ryujin is straddling her, and Yeji’s hands are on her hips, and Ryujin is leaning down until her black hair falls in a curtain around them. 

And her voice is so so soft as she says, “You’re sweet,” and leans in. 

Yeji loses herself in the kiss in an instant. She’s overwhelmed with the familiar smell of Ryujin’s shampoo, the plushness of her lips, the warmth of her body hovering over her own. All she wants to do is make Ryujin see stars, but the girl seems to have other plans. A bold hand finds its way to the waistband of her cargo pants, and Yeji can feel the curve of that perfect smile pressed against her lips.

She plays with the waistband, slips a finger under it to scratch at the skin, and Yeji’s entire body lights up. She cups Ryujin’s jaw, deepens the kiss, sighs against her. Sure, she’d had her own plans for how this was going to play out, but she isn’t the type to question it when a pretty girl is seconds away from unbuttoning her pants. 

Except then Ryujin sits up, settling all pretty on top of her. Yeji feels a bit winded. It’s not from the interrupted kiss or the suddenly removed promise of Ryujin’s wandering hands. It’s not from the weight of her body. It’s from the weight of her eyes. She’s looking down at Yeji like she’s seeing her for the first time. The wonder there, the awe, makes a new heat crawl up Yeji’s neck to her cheeks.

“So handsome,” Ryujin says, her voice scratchy and low.

All Yeji can do is lie there and watch as Ryujin reaches down to brush her hair back from her face. She tucks it behind her ear, traces a finger across the corner of her jaw. Yeji can feel the tenderness spilling from Ryujin’s gaze, from her touch, in a way it never has before. It’s always been there, there’s never been a moment in the physical side of their relationship where Yeji has doubted the want, the affection, but something feels decidedly different now.

Yeji lets her head fall to the side in surrender, eyes sliding shut. She feels pliant under the steadiness of Ryujin’s attention. Maybe it’s the sun’s warmth and the sound of the birds, the gentle hush of the wind. Maybe it’s Ryujin’s warmth and the sound of her breath hitching as her finger ghosts across the tendon of her neck. 

Yeji tightens her hold on Ryujin’s hips but doesn’t otherwise move. She’s more than content to see where Ryujin’s touch leads, trusts her with her body and her heart in a way that would scare her if she didn’t feel so at peace.

Ryujin’s hands make their way down her torso to settle on her waist for a moment before they slip under the loose fabric of her t-shirt. The shock of her touch startles Yeji out of her near trance. She blinks up at Ryujin as she jolts back to earth.

“Your hands are cold,” she pouts.

Ryujin snorts out a laugh. “Sorry, sorry. Let me warm them up.”

She makes good on that, flattening her hands on Yeji’s stomach and sapping her warmth with a cheeky grin. Yeji squirms under her, which just makes Ryujin laugh again. Her eyes are shining, whisker dimples out in full force.

“You’re such a baby,” she teases.

Yeji pinches her side, causing her to jolt with a yelp. She sticks out her tongue.

“Takes one to know one!”

Ryujin rolls her eyes, lips quirked up into a half smile. Instead of continuing the banter, she starts massaging gentle circles into Yeji’s stomach with her now-warm hands. Yeji lets out a low hum at the pleasant sensation. Ryujin braces herself up on the blanket with one hand, leaving the other on Yeji’s waist as she leans back in to capture her lips once more. Yeji slips her hands under Ryujin’s shirt and sweater, presses fingers into her back to urge her closer. They make out for a few blissful seconds before Ryujin pulls away again. This time she stays close enough that their noses brush against each other. And then…

“Can I touch you?” in that low rasp.

“You can do whatever you want to me,” Yeji whispers back.

Ryujin evaluates her for a moment with hooded eyes before shifting to lie down on top of her and nuzzling into her neck. Yeji wraps her arms more tightly around her, enjoying, as always, how perfectly she fits in her arms. She considers letting Ryujin know that her nose is even colder than her hands were, but then Ryujin is nudging her head to the side and trailing her lips down her neck.

The first sting of teeth sends an instant zing of arousal through Yeji’s body. She holds onto Ryujin even tighter as she sucks at the sensitive skin at the base of her throat. Ryujin has only marked her a couple of times over the past two months, and it’s always been fleeting. The scrape of teeth, the barest suction, before she moves along. Today though, she’s thorough, methodical (as she is with all things). Yeji hisses out at the jolt of pleasure, letting her hand drift down to grab Ryujin’s ass to urge her on. 

Ryujin takes her time, and Yeji lets her. Well, she lets her until it gets unbearable. She wishes she was the type to let Ryujin do as she pleases for as long as she pleases, but the heat gathering in her lower belly has reached a fever pitch, and she’s starting to feel crazy. She can’t help the way she pulls Ryujin even closer, pressing her hips up to chase for any semblance of relief. Ryujin finally detaches from her neck with a chuckle. 

Her breath is hot as she murmurs, “So patient.”

Yeji nods, not even caring that she seems desperate. Because she is. She can’t remember the last time she was this desperate to be touched. She also doesn’t miss the weight of Ryujin's words. She feels the hidden meaning as Ryujin shifts to lie next to her.

So patient with me. So patient for us.

Yeji thinks about saying she would wait forever, but that’s decidedly not true at this moment. Instead, she uses one hand to pull Ryujin in for a heated kiss and the other to grab her wrist and urge her to finish what she started.

“Are you sure?” Ryujin asks, even as she unbuttons Yeji’s pants, “We’re outside, anyone could—”

“Want you,” Yeji interrupts, already breathless, “Please, Jinnie.”

Yeji isn’t sure which one of them moans louder at the first press of Ryujin’s fingers. She is sure that it won’t take her very long to come undone. She’s already so overwhelmed by everything about the moment, by the months of waiting and wanting and not quite having. She’s overwhelmed by what she wants to do next, when they’re back behind the safety of a closed door. Overwhelmed by the thought of Ryujin laid out beneath her, so trusting, so good, so—

Yeji comes crashing over the edge with a gasp of Ryujin’s name. And then Ryujin is peppering her face with feather-light kisses, murmuring sweet words, rubbing soothing circles into her side with a steady hand. Yeji flips over onto her side and gathers Ryujin up in her arms, squeezes her until she squeals and smacks her on the shoulder. She feels giddy, light, like she’s exactly where she’s supposed to be. 

They do eventually get back to their picnic. Yeji thinks the kimbap is a bit too salty, but Ryujin eats it like it’s the best she’s ever had.

There’s nothing quite as satisfying as the feeling of a good, clean kick. Except for maybe the feeling of the ball being received by one Shin Yuna. Yeji watches as Doyeon manages to tap the ball with the tip of her finger, sending it just shy of the goal. Nothing wrong with seeing her goalie in top form before a game either.

It’s a perfect day in late March, and the Wolves are just about done warming up for a casual offseason scrimmage with WGU. The sun is shining, both teams are in high spirits, and Yeji couldn’t feel better. She’s been staying active, playing a pickup game here and there with the girls, and thinking about soccer plenty, but it hasn’t really been enough.

Her body is always grateful for the recovery of the offseason, but she gets so restless that it can kind of explode out of her. The other day Jisu literally kicked her out of her room and made her run a lap around the building because she was fidgeting so much. Yeji was annoyed at the time, but it had honestly helped (not that she would ever admit that out loud to her friend).

So yeah, Yeji is feeling awesome today. It also doesn’t hurt that Ryujin is up in the stands chatting with Mina’s girlfriend, Chaeyoung. They’d recognized each other from some art class right away and started talking the second Yeji and Mina had gone off to get ready.

Doyeon calls Yuna over to the goal to chat with her about something, and Yeji takes the opportunity to glance up at the stands. The smile that comes to her face is instant. Ryujin is locked in conversation with Chaeyoung. She’s tucked into one of her oversized denim shirts, legs crossed up under her. Her elbow is resting on her knee, chin on her fist, as she nods at whatever Chaeyoung is saying. She’s so casually attractive that it feels a bit unbelievable. They’ve been official for two days, and Yeji is still in shock about the whole thing. She doesn’t think she’s stopped smiling once in the past forty-eight hours.

“You wanna receive this time?” Yuna’s bright voice snaps her attention back to the field.

Yeji runs her fingers through her ponytail as she adjusts to Yuna’s presence. When did she and Doyeon stop talking? God, it’s a good thing she never gets distracted during a game because she’s all over the place right now.

“I always wanna receive for you, baby Shin,” she answers with exaggerated sincerity.

Yuna laughs her bubbly laugh, but then she gives Yeji an odd look. Before Yeji can ask what’s wrong, Yuna’s face splits into an uncharacteristically sly grin.

“So,” she draws out the syllable, “You and Ryu, huh? How’s that going?”

Okay, so she and Ryujin hadn’t exactly been hiding their whole friends with benefits, fuckbuddies, mutual pining, whatever the hell you want to call it situation. Nevertheless, she’s definitely caught off guard by the question. She honestly shouldn’t be. If anyone (aside from sweet, perfect, beautiful Jisu who’s been putting up with her for the past six months) would have an idea that there’s something going on between them it would be their one and only true mutual friend after all.

She’s not quite sure what to say. They’ve been too focused on kissing and giggling and cuddling and all that other gay stuff to decide on how they want to tell their friends about everything, and Yeji doesn’t want to take that conversation away from Ryujin if it’s one she wants to have with her childhood friend. She also knows that she’s incapable of lying, so that’s off the table too. A vague answer seems like the best call.

“Good,” she finally admits, “Why?”

Yuna’s eyes widen, and her smile shifts to her usual delighted one. She zips her lips and throws away the key with a charming wink before jogging away to continue their warmup.

When Yeji looks back up to the stands, Ryujin is already looking at her. Even from the field, Yeji can recognize the relaxed smile she’s wearing. She gives a little wave, and Yeji responds with a two-fingered salute before getting her eyes back on the ball. There’ll be plenty of time for Ryujin later. It’s game time.

Yeji strolls through the familiar halls of the athletics center as she makes her way to Coach Choi’s office. She’s riding the high of a 3-0 game and a combined congratulations and goodnight kiss from Ryujin. 

She’s a bit bummed they’re not spending the night together, but Ryujin has film club tonight, and Coach Choi had asked Yeji to head to his office after she was done in the locker room. She tells herself it’s for the best. After this, she’ll get some homework done for the first time since Friday (oops) and then fall asleep before midnight (also for the first time since Friday). Figuring out the whole school/girlfriend/life balance thing would probably be good at some point, but it’s early days. She’ll worry about that later. Right now, she’s too curious about what her coach would want to talk one-on-one about to linger on anything else. 

Yeji knocks on the door and enters the room after Coach Choi’s booming voice tells her to “come on in.” He’s leaning back in his desk chair, hands behind his head, and decked out—as always—in his SoCo jacket. Yeji slips into a chair after he motions for her to. 

“What’s up, Coach?”

He smiles his fatherly smile at her, and it immediately puts her at ease. Coach Choi is one of the nicest dudes she knows, but he can be a hardass when he needs to be. Yeji respects that about him. Jihyo is like that too. It’s part of what makes her such a good captain. 

“You played great today, Yeji.”

She grins. “Thanks, Coach.”

“In fact,” he continues, “this past season was your best yet. You’ve always been a dynamo, but your game sense has really improved since your freshman year.”

Yeji picks at a loose thread on her sweats, unsure of what to say. Coach Choi is pretty good with positive reinforcement, but he’s never called her to his office just to compliment her. Yeji is a confident person and a confident player. She knows he’s right, knows that junior year was her best season yet, but she still feels shy in the face of such frank praise. 

“Your chemistry with the team is great too. Especially with the underclassmen. I know Jihyo thinks of you as the freshman whisperer.” He laughs, but his eyes are evaluating. 

Yeji laughs too, feeling a bit faint. This (decidedly one-sided) conversation feels like it’s leading somewhere inevitable, but she also feels like she’s imagining the whole thing.

“Thanks, Coach,” she says again. 

Coach Choi rests his elbows on the desk and leans forward. His eyes are warm, but Yeji still feels trapped in his gaze. 

“I’d like you to be captain next year, Yeji. I think you’re just what the Wolves need to carry this momentum into the next season. What do you say?”

Yeji floats all the way home. The reality of what just happened doesn’t really hit her until she’s been standing under the hot spray of the shower for a good few minutes. 

“Holy shit,” she whispers to herself as she grabs her body wash, “Holy shit.”

She’s as shocked as she is honored that Coach Choi would offer her the captaincy for her senior year. Yeji is confident on the field, knows she makes good plays and has the athleticism and practice under her belt needed to execute. She’s confident in the locker room too, keeping morale up and helping Jihyo wrangle the players when it’s needed. That doesn’t necessarily mean she should be captain. 

Yeji goes through the motions. She washes up, changes into some basketball shorts and her eager beaver tee, and sits on the edge of her bed. After a few minutes of staring at the wall in a daze, she calls Jihyo. 

The first thing she hears is, “You said yes, right?”

Yeji laughs, caught off guard by the instant response. Leave it to her captain to put her at ease right away.

“Yeah.”

“Good.” Jihyo sounds like she’s smiling. “It’s Coach’s call of course, but I told him it had to be you. Easiest decision ever. You crushed it this year, Yeji.”

Yeji can feel herself blushing, but she also can’t help but agree. She really did crush it this year. 

“Damn, you clean up nice,” Jisu says with a satisfied nod, “Maybe Ryujin isn’t settling after all.”

“Shut up,” Yeji grumbles as she straightens her collar, “You literally don’t even know each other.”

She’d invited Jisu to help her get ready for tonight, not to eat all of her snacks and neg her. She shouldn’t be surprised though, this is par for the course for them. It’s distracting at least. Their usual banter really helps with the nerves. 

“How dare you?” Jisu gasps, overly affronted, “She’s my beloved film club junior.”

“She thinks you’re weird,” Yeji retorts. 

“We’re gonna be besties, just wait.”

Yeji glances over to where Jisu is sitting on her bed and is met with that radiant Jisu smile. She’s no fool, she hears the threat in that promise. Does she want her best friend and her girlfriend to get along? Sure. Does she fear what chaos may come from Jisu and Ryujin combining their little shit powers? Definitely. Does she have any way of escaping that fate? Doesn’t seem like it, no.

Yeji shakes off the slight dread and goes back to looking at herself in the mirror. Jisu is right on one thing at least. She does look good. It’s not often that she dresses up, but today definitely feels like the day to step up her game. It’s her and Ryujin’s first date after all. She has to look nice. 

The first step was finding a shirt with buttons and a collar that wasn’t also a flannel. The one she decided on is light blue with thin white stripes. It’s oversized like most of her clothes, but it looks pretty decent over a plain white t-shirt and paired with jeans (and her white Air Force 1s). It’s not dressy, but Yeji doesn’t really do dressy. It’s a bit nicer than her usual without feeling uncomfortable. Hopefully Ryujin likes it too. 

Now that she’s dressed (with the Jisu stamp of approval), all that’s left is to go pick Ryujin up for dinner. They’re going back to Hana Kitchen for the first time since fall break. Yeji is as excited for the food as she is nostalgic. It’s hard to believe there was a time when they barely knew each other. Hard to believe that only so many months ago she was just kind of forcing herself into Ryujin’s life and hoping it would work. Hell, she’d even thought Ryujin was taken at the start and still wanted to be in her life.  

She’d been so intrigued back then. Intrigued by Ryujin’s beauty, by the glimpse of her talent, her focus, her sharp mind. She could tell Ryujin was amazing before they even knew each other, but she had no idea what she was getting into. 

Yeji flops back onto the bed and sighs. It was easier to get dressed than she anticipated, so now she has time to kill before she grabs Ryujin. There’s no reason to be nervous—they’ve spent so much time alone together up until this point—but the label of “first date” is still a bit intimidating. Yeji’s never been on a first date, like, ever. 

Jisu laughs, holding out the mostly empty Pringles container she’s been working her way through. Yeji rolls up her sleeve before reaching in to grab some chips. 

“You’ll do great, big guy. She’s already crazy about you.”

“Yeah?” 

Jisu reaches out to fix her hair with a tender touch, her eyes and smile both gentle. She pinches Yeji’s cheek before using the same hand to rummage around in the container for crumbs. 

“You tell me.”

Normally when they take her car Yeji will head straight to the parking lot from her dorm and drive over to Fisher to pick Ryujin up. Today is a bit different. Ryujin doesn’t have class on Fridays, and she spent the past few hours holed up in Frost cramming to finish a paper before the weekend. Frost is close enough to the parking lot that they’d decided it would make the most sense for them to just head over to the car together. Yeji texted on her way up campus, and Ryujin had let her know that she’d be waiting at one of the picnic tables near the library.

Soon enough, Yeji is cutting across the quad and making a beeline for Frost. Her heart does a little flip when she finally sees Ryujin. She’s sitting on top of one of the tables, messenger bag on the bench next to her feet. 

Yeji obviously always thinks Ryujin is pretty. Because it’s objectively true. She’s pretty when she wears a touch of makeup, pretty when she doesn’t realize she has charcoal smudged on her cheek, pretty first thing in the morning with dry lips and crusties in her eyes. Pretty, pretty, pretty. She’s definitely pretty now. Her hair is loose today. It’s grown out since they met and falls well past her shoulders now. It’s glossy as ever, framing her face in that perfect way.

She’s wearing blue jeans and a gray cable knit sweater. It’s a simple outfit, and she’s never looked more beautiful. The v-neck of the sweater shows off the straight line of her collarbones, and the soft material hugs her curves just right. Yeji feels safe enough inside her mind to acknowledge the fact that, while Ryujin’s body is…more understated in the chest area, her boobs look really nice in this sweater. Like really nice. She looks soft, feminine, cozy, and handsome all at once. And they’re about to go on a date. And Yeji is gonna kiss her so much on that date.

Looks like she’ll have to wait though because Ryujin is locked in conversation with two other people. It takes Yeji a moment to realize that the two figures standing next to the picnic table are none other than Chaeryeong and Yunjin. She hadn’t expected to see anyone else, and it strikes her then that she has no idea how she’s supposed to act in front of other people.

Luckily, Ryujin notices her and waves her over with a bright smile before she can start thinking too hard about it. Yeji has no idea what Ryujin has or hasn’t told her friends. Jisu knows everything as always, and her roomies are also up to date. She didn’t tell Yuna anything officially, but Yeji can’t imagine her assumptions are too far off the mark. Ryujin’s friends are a blindspot for her though. It’s totally up to her how she wants to spread the news to Chaeryeong, Yunjin, and the others. 

Yeji strolls over, very aware of the three sets of eyes that are now on her. Ryujin is smiling at her, Chaeryeong looks confused, and Yunjin…Yeji can’t quite read Yunjin’s expression. The main thing she thinks about when she sees her is that she’s kissed Ryujin before. She knows it’s stupid, knows there’s no reason she should feel so smug about the hickies Ryujin has covered with concealer at this very moment, but here she is thinking and feeling all of these things.

Ryujin is standing up now, slinging her messenger bag over her shoulder. She could go for a relaxed wave to greet the group, or… Yeji glances at Yunjin one more time before she makes up her mind. 

Ryujin goes in for what is most definitely a hug, so Yeji takes the opportunity to lean in for a quick kiss. Okay, so maybe she lingers a little bit, but that’s only because the hardest part about kissing Ryujin is the part where you have to stop kissing her. She finally pulls back, and smiles down at Ryujin who’s just blinking up at her, maybe a bit shocked. 

“Hi, baby.”

Ryujin smiles. “Hi.”

Yeji isn’t really sure what she expected to happen after that. Hopefully she’ll just finally say hi to Chaeryeong and Yunjin and then they’ll be on their merry way. Apparently that’s not quite how it’s going to play out however.  

“I knew it!” Chaeryeong exclaims, “I knew that picture of Yeji you posted was a soft launch.” She punches Ryujin’s arm. “Asshole.”

Ryujin rubs the spot, looking genuinely offended. “What was that for?”

“I’m your best friend,” she pouts, “You should tell me things.”

Ryujin crosses her arms and frowns. “Oh yeah? Like you definitely told me you’ve been hooking up with Yves for months?”

Chaeryeong’s jaw drops, and Yeji tries not to laugh at the exaggerated expression. She’s spent enough time with Chaeryeong to know that the reaction is genuine and also knows it’s not her place to get in between the two right now. Especially since it seems like their argument (is this even an argument? She genuinely can’t tell) is somehow her fault. She’d kissed Ryujin both because she wanted to and because Yunjin was there, but now she’s just left standing awkwardly with Yunjin as they watch the conversation unfold in front of them.

“How did you know?” Chaeryeong hisses.

Ryujin smiles, smug. “You just told me.”

Yeji can’t quite believe she’s seeing Chaeryeong fall for a Ryujin trick that she herself would fall for. It feels out of character, but hey, what does she know? Chaeryeong manages to look twice as shocked and offended as she already had, which doesn’t feel like it should be possible.

Yeji coughs into her fist to stifle a laugh. Neither of the two seems to notice as they stare each other down, but Yunjin glances at her. When their eyes meet Yunjin grins, looking openly entertained by the spectacle. Yeji smiles back despite herself. At least the person who’s spent more time with the two doesn’t seem even a little bit concerned about the sudden sparring match. Yunjin winks at her before approaching Ryujin from behind and slamming her hands down onto her shoulders. Ryujin jumps, and so does Chaeryeong. They both stare at Yunjin with wide eyes, waiting to see why they were interrupted in the middle of their important business.

“Alright, you two,” Yunjin starts, “Something tells me Yeji came here to pick up Ryu for a reason.”

She glances at Yeji, giving her the opening to say, “We don’t wanna miss our reservation, Jinnie.”

Ryujin blinks at her. “Right.”

“Anyway,” Yunjin continues, massaging Ryujin’s shoulders, “Aren’t you guys, like, happy for each other?”

Both girls nod. Yeji doesn’t realize she’s smiling until Ryujin glares at her. She tries to wipe the expression off her face, but it’s no use. Yunjin spins Ryujin around and pushes her towards Yeji. She stumbles forward into her chest, and Yeji catches her with a laugh, presses a kiss into the crown of her head because she can. Ryujin softens against her, hands fisting in her shirt, and it makes her feel all warm and melty inside.

“Yeji and Ryu are gonna go on their date, and you…” Yunjin throws an arm around Chaeryeong’s shoulders, causing her to jump again. “You’re gonna tell me all about what you and Yves have going on. She’s the hot senior from the dance team, right?”

The last thing Yeji sees as she leads Ryujin away is Chaeryeong’s blushing face. Her embarrassment contrasts a comical amount with how unapologetic she is in the bedroom, but that’s neither here nor there.

“You two always like that?” She can’t keep the amusement out of her voice.

Ryujin shrugs, looking sheepish. “Only sometimes.”

Dinner ends up being perfect. The food is good, and the company is better (unsurprising on both counts). Yeji doesn’t even try to keep track of how long they spend at the table just talking and enjoying each other. She honestly can’t remember what she’d been nervous about before. Spending time with Ryujin is still spending time with Ryujin even though it’s technically a date now. The main difference is the way Ryujin holds her hand, playing absently with her fingers, as they wait for their food. The way Yeji feels able to lean over for a quick kiss just because she wants to. The way this feeling of disbelief swoops through her stomach whenever she remembers that Ryujin is her girlfriend now. 

Yeji manages to pay the bill when Ryujin is in the bathroom. When she comes back and realizes what happened, she frowns. 

“I told you we should split it,” she sighs, sliding back into her chair.

“You can just get me back next time.”

Ryujin leans back and twirls a chopstick with dexterous fingers as she stares Yeji down across the table. 

“Who said there’s gonna be a next time?” she challenges, dead serious. 

Yeji likes this game. Always does. She gets up and offers Ryujin her hand, grinning all the while. 

“If you don’t wanna do dinner again, I’ve thought of a few other ways you can pay me back.” She throws in a wink for good measure. 

Ryujin studies her for a few long seconds before finally taking her hand. She ends up practically dragging Yeji out of the restaurant and through the parking lot. While Ryujin may not be the first girl Yeji’s made out with leaning against her car, she sure wouldn’t have any complaints if she ended up being the last.