Work Text:
Eren wished it would snow.
If it snowed, if there was a storm, maybe he wouldn’t have to visit his parents. As it was, he was already leaving it to the last possible minute. He was leaving for the four hour train journey at eleven on Christmas Eve, his parents had insisted that he be there for lunch at four. Armin had already left two days ago to see his granddad do Eren wa alone.
He had nothing against his parents, it was just that they almost looked down on him. His father, Grisha, was very distant and very rarely interacted with Eren beyond greetings. His mother, Carla, was kind and gentle but sort of posh. Both believed in traditional families and values which Eren couldn’t really agree on. The lived comfortably in a large house in Cambridge due to Grisha’s work as an on call doctor for rich families and Carla’s background money.
They approved of sending their son to the best university so he could become a doctor or a lawyer or even a politician so he could make some of his own money so when (at around 28) he got married he could make lots of babies and his wife could look after them.
What they did not approve of was their bisexual son running off to London to become a marine biologist (and if that fails join the army) and put himself through university on a scholarship while paying for his rent by having a roommate (even if it was his childhood best friend) and working in a Costa.
Eren didn’t really care. His parents still seemed to try. They didn’t disown him, they still loved him, still lent him money if needed, still called or skyped him once in a while. Even if between those things Carla would ask about grandchildren and Grisha would try to get him to come to work with his. If they both invited their friends children over to meet him then leave them alone together- as if that would immediately make them fall in love. Even if they did tut at his choices in companions, Grisha had left the call completely when Eren introduced him to his only ever boyfriend. The only one they had almost liked was Historia, who’s father was an Earle but like Eren, she had left that.
The only good thing would be seeing his adopted sister Mikasa. Eren’s mother had became infertile a few years after Eren was born and Eren had asked his parents why he didn’t have a sibling like other kids do. Later, when one of Grisha’s oldest clients had died Eren had convinced his parents to adopt their half-Asian child. Mikasa thinks she would have died if Eren hadn’t protected her from the ‘mean people who wanted to take her away’ so in turn she became very protective of Eren. She helped him beat up the bullies that hurt their best friend, Armin. She already headed up to see their parents a few days ago. Mikasa also lived in London, but the busy part, not the slightly-run-down-but-overall-slightly-cheaper part of London where Eren and Armin lived. She ran a gym, which their parents didn’t agree with either but it was okay because she was at least her own bass (Eren also thinks they accept it because at least she’s straight).
Eren sighed, pulling his over-night bag over his shoulder, it contained clothes for tomorrow and presents. Candles for mum, book for dad, new boxing gloves for sister. He left the flat and walked the two streets to the train station. At least he’s only there for a day. He got his parents to agree to letting him leave Christmas late afternoon by saying he had to work on Boxing day.
The train station was dirty, the floor wasn’t clean, it had mud and leaves all over it. Several layers of it in fact. You could see fingerprints on most surfaces and even through Eren wasn’t a clean freak he would never buy anything from the few shops inside the station.
It wasn’t a main station either, so Eren would have to switch trains twice to get to the station nearest his parents house. He pushed his (online ordered) ticket through the slot and walked through the turnstile. He stood near the front of the platform and waited for the train. As Eren surveyed his surroundings he noticed a few things. Firstly, they had switched out the usual chandelier for a giant bauble, which was incredible cheesy and very cheap-looking. Second, there were numerous couples making out under dying mistletoe. Finally, there were a strange group of people talking quietly to themselves in the corner but staring straight at him. Eren looked back and he made eye contact with the shortest one. He had short, black hair with an undercut and was wearing a smart shirt. His eyes were piercing. The intense grey seemed to ore into Eren's soul and as he looked he felt something beginning to open up in his brain but before anything became solid, his train stopped next to him. Eren ripped his eyes away and boarded his train.
He brooded for the whole journey. What was that? Who was he? Why did Eren fell like he knew him? He thought so hard it gave him a headache and he almost missed his first exchange stop.
He was greeted by his mother giving him hugs and kisses. His dad reluctantly patted his back until Mikasa tackled him. She complained about how she didn’t see enough of him and demanded to know what his school was like.
Eren talked to her as he sat up in his childhood bedroom. The room was large with royal blue walls, a while ceiling and light wooden floor. There was a bed under the window, the kind which had drawers under it. At the foot of the bed was a large box which contained toys and sports equipment. There was a tall wardrobe against the wall opposite the foot of the bed and a chest of draws next to. There was three shelves along the wall above and to the side of the chest which were filled with books, tiny statues, one trophy (for a swimming tournament; Eren had always loved water), a few cards, general bits and pieces and an old, raggly, dark brown teddy with blue eyes (which had lived there since Eren’s birth). On the wall behind the door was a desk and a large, comfy looking office chair. It had four drawers, two on each side of the chair. The top two held writing equipment, notepads, paper etc and the bottom two contained all of Eren’s old school books (should he ever require them again) as well as various certificates and letters he had received from the school. All the furniture was white except the office chair which was deep blue and even though Eren hadn’t stepped in it for at least seven months it was immaculate. There wasn’t any dust on the furniture and the floor was sparkling clean. ‘Even he would be proud of this’ Eren thought before he realised who was he?
Once Eren had checked his room was fine and had filled Mikasa in on everything that he had done (as well as pestered some information out of her) the sibling duo headed downstairs.
Lunch was fine, it was just the four of them eating a small roast lunch. Carla asked Eren about any girlfriends while Grisha asked how money was going. Eren asked them what they had been doing and both parents badgered Mikasa about her relationship status. Mikasa finally let out that he had been on one date with a guy which she was going to follow up after Christmas. Carla looked positively delighted and suggested some baby names. Mikasa and Eren did the washing and drying up while Carla and Grisha went to the living room. They set down to watch The Snowman together while also making Eren Skype with one of their friend’s daughters. Eren thought she was pretty, sure but far too polite for Eren to not feel like a terrible person around.
Christmas had no such affairs. The whole family piled into the dining area and ate a huge meal that Carla (with Eren’s help) cooked. Grandparents, uncles and cousins all asked Eren all the questions he hated. All the ones he had to throw his parents off of yesterday with a few subtle remarks about visiting gay bars and not liking the people they tried to set him up with.
He left at six and got a taxi to the train station. He got through to the last part of his journey without much disturbance. He was feeling so relieved he couldn’t even be bothered to scan the people around him or cringe at the state of the train as he boarded the last one, only an hour and a half to go, he thought warily. The train was quite filled but Eren had found a corner and was staring out the window.
About forty minutes in, the short man from Christmas Eve sat down next to him. Eren jerked out of his lazy thoughts and looked at the man. Eren drew in a sharp breath as bright green met steely grey eyes. Eren subconsciously placed a hand on the man’s neck, thumb brushing his ear.
As Eren looked his brain stuttered into motion, throwing him images and bits of information. Of a place surrounded by walls, tormented by monsters. Support from his friends, he had more of them then, a whole training squadron. Some of those friends dying. Armin almost. Eren watches things from a much higher point of view. He’s as tall as the titans, and he can win against them . He feels a splurge of happiness and leans closer to the man, who’s hand is now on his waist. In the back of his mind he wonders why he didn’t remember this with Mikasa or his parents, or Armin? He chalked it up to having known them forever. He views a courtroom, Mikasa raging somewhere to his left. He can see the man, and dear god his kick hurts. Eren can see wings, one blue and one white. He can see beyond the walls and he feels free. All the people around him, all the forest green cloaks and the emblem of his heart, all of them support him. And Eren can remember. He can remember some fearing him. He wasn’t to kill the titans, but what if he’s really one too? And he remembers the best people. They told him he wasn’t a monster. Mikasa, Armin, Connie, all the rest Even Jean. Hange when she was gentle. Even though she ran his experiments.
And when he was an inch from giving up. The second time he was captured, when he discovered the Coordinate. When he realised he wasn’t just any one of these monsters, but perhaps the worst of them. Even after the beast titan had turned Connie’s village into them. Even after he met Historia’s father. Eren would have someone better still. Who Eren knew was stronger than he so Eren didn’t have to be. Nobody he had to convince he was fine, not that he could go on, yes I can do that. Someone who was told to protect Eren but would have anyway. The man- Levi- would hold him, despite him being a superior., they were in private. Even if he had a cleanliness thing, Eren was fine. And Eren could cry or scream or practise or rant and Levi, because he knew Eren to the core, in time would do the same. So sometime around the one year of being a titan mark, when they knew the basements contents and were using them, when Eren hesitantly pressed his lips to Levi’s after a sparing match, Levi didn’t pull away. Instead he pulled closer and after when Eren collapsed into a fit of giggles, Levi just pulled him up and held him close.
Levi would love and protect Eren, wanting nothing in return but Eren’s love and determination (and for Eren to keep his hands clean). He would help Eren to carry one despite everything. The two sat barely two inches between their noses on the train.
So when they had won, every titan killed. When they had re-invented boats to check the whole planet. When Eren, who was humanities last hope and the Scouting Legion had become heroes. Armin, Hange, Levi, Erwin, Jean, all those that had survived. When they had conquered and not one titan stood of the earth. Even shifters eradicated (except Annie’s crystal). When the people could tear down the walls and kill the titans within and Eren and Levi thought they could go and make a home, possibly by the sea. Only then did they not see it coming.
For a few months the people had celebrated, they expanded and began to build bigger homes had someone realised. Not every titan was gone. Eren lived. Mikasa had cried for two days. Erwin, Armin and Levi had spent weeks arguing that Eren had helped, Eren wasn’t a threat, but the whole population wanted him dead. Overall, Levi had lost. When there was nothing they could do, even Levi had cried. Eren had sat there and held him, having already gotten ready for this fate. It was all coming back. He was a monster. Everyone had told him that wasn’t the case but Eren didn’t need it.
Eren viewed his fate through Levi’s eyes. Eren had asked Levi to do it. Eren reasoned that he wouldn’t want someone he didn’t know to do it, that Levi loved him, that he knew he wasn’t a monster, but it was for humanity.
On bullet to the head and Eren stopped recognising the images. They were Levi’s memories. Levi had never really been happy after that. He mingled around Mikasa and Hange, watching as the people grew and adapted, never joining in. Most of the Survey Corps either quit or became part of the garrison, which were more like officials to make sure laws were up-holded. Police. After all, there was no need for them any more. Queen Historia had made sure they lived well, Levi lived on a small pension in a small house on the outside of the city. He had a vegetable patch and was okay. He died of sickness in his sixties, his only wish to see Eren’s smile again.
Eren grinned on the train and pushed his lips to Levi’s it was short and sweet but they kept just staring, breathing each others air as they remembered their old lives and thought of how lucky they were. ‘I missed you’ thinks Eren, not wanting to break the silence but he thinks Levi gets the point and kisses him again.