Work Text:
Aventurine started his day like any other. He woke up, showered, got dressed, ate, brushed his teeth, and then finally leave to head to work. That’s how it was supposed to go. Most days were not like this, as much as he wished it was. He got all this done but never in a timely manner. It hurt to get up in the morning but that’s what he would do. He would get up and do what he needed and then go to sleep again.
One day, he thought he felt better. He had gotten closer to Ratio over the coming weeks and found himself waking up happy. What great things would happen that day? Though Ratio had always seemed to barely tolerate the other, but Aventurine couldn’t help but find those eyes beautiful. The way they would shine in harsh sunlight, it was almost ethereal. His hair was also beautiful and was adorn with that shimmering golden laurel. Aventurine also loved his mannerisms, like the way he would make sure his things were properly dusted and work area clean.
Ratio may say he despises Aventurine's presence, but there was always an underlying sense of care behind his words. The way he would point out a mistake with Aventurine’s work, it never felt condescending, it always felt genuine. He showed compassion in a way unfamiliar to Aventurine.
It was why Aventurine was crying in front of the bathroom sink one day. Ratio was perfect, even if he would say there is no such thing, he was the closest thing. He was so different from Aventurine, he was always on time, he never needed to try. Aventurine struggled to keep his position as Stoneheart while Ratio got to live it easy. He never had to try, been gifted with endless talent since birth. Aventurine? He had to get his hands dirty to get where he was and he was still far from where he wanted to be. Why was he even trying anymore?
Aventurine most morning couldn’t look in the mirror. What stared back at him in the morning was horrifying. Thankfully most nights he could appreciate the reflection, but it was still morning. He was crying, how pathetic. He was supposed to be a Stoneheart with a heart of stone, but here he was, crying, all because the man too good for him won’t love him back, what a tragedy.
Suddenly he started coughing, a natural thing to happen next. He heaved until it came out, flower petals and the blood from his lungs. His sister spoke of this, hanahaki, a sign of his upcoming death. Soon flowers will overtake his lungs until he can no longer breathe then he will just simply die. It is slow and painful, but in some cases, is better than the alternative. This was one of those cases. He will have to hide this so no one intervenes. He would need to hide it from Ratio that day, they would need to work together on… something, he can’t remember.
Aventurine gave himself a smile in the mirror to make sure he could still fake one. It was the one thing he was good at, he could even fool the great Veritas Ratio. The better he felt about that smile the better he could fake his happiness. It used to be easier, back from before the pain of his illness started. He actually thought he was happy for the most part but Aventurine doesn’t quite understand the feeling. Was he ever happy? Maybe the feeling with Ratio was the emotion he was looking for, but he wasn’t quite sure.
That day wouldn’t be too bad. Hanahaki would ease around the one the victim loved, so Aventurine should be fine. Of course he would need to convince himself that he still had hope for a future, but he did that everyday, why would this day be any different. He would be okay for another day. He didn’t even want that.
~~~
Aventurine attempted to hum a song he had heard that morning on his commute to Ratio's office. It was delightful. If the song wasn’t beautiful then maybe he didn’t have a clue what others deem as beautiful. He did know that Ratio was beautiful, that much was clear. He often heard many others comment on that. It just goes to show how many options Ratio had if he so desired to find love. What kind of boyfriend would he be? Aventurine stopped that thought where it stood, he will never get the answer to that.
He was close to Ratio's office when he suddenly started coughing. This was not good, he was in public, people would see him. Ratio might see him. Aventurine had to find a private place to deal with this problem, but when he tried to move, a sharp pain stabbed through his lungs. He gasped for breath while still trying to stand. He was kneeling on the ground and grabbing at the wall to keep from completely collapsing to the floor.
Blood and flowers made their way from his lungs out onto his hands. The blood got all over his work clothes. Why wasn’t anything working? His eyes started to fill with tears. It was not the time to start pitting himself. He needed to stand again. He needed to get far away from this place. Instead he fell closer to the ground.
His thoughts were interrupted by another presence, “What on—Aventurine what is going on?” Aventurine looked up to see non-other, his beautiful eyes, “What happened? Why—“ Ratio must have realized how useless it was to ask all these needless questions and held Aventurine's jaw up to keep him looking at the other, “Listen, we are going to get you some help, you’re going to be okay,” Ratio reassured him in an ineffective way. Aventurine almost wanted to retort that that's the last thing he would want.
This was not what he wanted but his brain was only processing that Ratio was in front of him, that beautiful man, “Ratio…” Aventurine called out under his staggering breath.
“Don’t talk, come on we need to move you,”
Aventurine could only reach forward to grab at Ratio. He just couldn’t think of anything else that could soothe his pain. He didn’t even want Ratio's help, but he was here now. Maybe it would be okay. Maybe he could let himself feel this one thing once. Ratio slowly started to standing while holding firmly onto Aventurine to help hoist him up on his feet. Aventurine's whole body felt heavy and immovable but Ratio held on.
Aventurine finally got up on two feet. His breath had finally stabilized by that point and was now aware of what had just happened. He looked down at his bloody hands then to Ratio's shirt that Aventurine had got all bloody from grabbing onto it, “Sorry about that,”
“Sorry!?! That’s what you have to say!?!”
Aventurine tried to keep his composure, but it was becoming a real struggle at this point, “I-I'll buy you a new one, several if that’s what it takes,” he would spend a fortune just to escape this situation.
Ratio looked taken aback by what Aventurine had just said, “Buy me a new—idiot, I’m not concerned about the shirt, I'm concerned about you!” Aventurine really wasn’t expected that sort of reaction from the often calm scholar, “I walk back to my office only to watch you coughing up blood and collapsed in the middle of the hallway, you owe me and explanation!” His voice was harsh and demanding.
Aventurine took a step back in slight shock. He had expected some sort of reaction if Ratio were to see him coughing up blood but this seemed extreme, in a way it scared him, “I'm fine, you’re making a big deal over nothing, I promise,” he tried to reassure Ratio.
This did not prove successful. Ratio had a furious look in this eyes and a slight tilt of the head, “Excuse me? What do you mean this is nothing?” Ratio clearly had a lot of frustration but let out a long sigh, “We can talk about this later, we need to clean you up and take to a hospital,” He grabbed Aventurine arm with no regard for whether it was too harsh.
Hospital. That was the last place he wanted to go. They would most definitely do x-rays on his lungs and then the disease would be revealed for what it is, lung flowers. Aventurine hadn’t ever heard of hanahaki in non-avgins so maybe there was still hope that they wouldn’t know the cause. Aventurine knew Ratio would still demand answers, he's been very vocal about that just moments ago.
A sudden cough shot up, much less violent than the last. Ratio immediately stopped to turn to Aventurine, who was trying not to finish coughing up the petal that is lodged into his throat. If Ratio saw the petal, what would he say? Would he belittle Aventurine and assume all this was some joke? Or worse, would he get more concerned? Ratio was already staring at him as if the other was dying. He was dying but Ratio didn’t know that.
Ratio hissed, “Don’t hold it in,” He was clearly not expecting a petal and so Aventurine kept calm,
“I’m not,” in attempt to say something Aventurine involuntarily coughed up the darn petal. He quickly grabbed it and hid it behind him and hoped Ratio didn’t notice it.
Ratio was unamused, “What in the name of the Aeons are you hiding?” He didn’t even wait for an answer before dragging him the rest of the way to the bathroom.
Mirrors. Mirrors everywhere. It was still morning. He tried not to look at his reflection as Ratio whipped up the blood on him. Aventurine knew he looked like a mess so he didn’t bother looking over. Ratio was surprisingly gentle despite how mad he was and still is. As if it was a physical injury that needed to be cared for gently as to not harm the other. Aventurine could not stand this man.
“Hands,” Ratio demanded, “Including the one you’ve been hiding,” Aventurine sighed and showed the flower petal in his hand to the other. Ratio looked at Aventurine, “Can you tell me where the petal came from?” He asked in a softer voice than before.
Aventurine looked away from Ratio. The way he looked at Aventurine made him think he had a chance at life. Aventurine never had a chance so it was disheartening to see Ratio look at him that way, “I don’t know,” he just simply lied, like he always did.
Ratio didn’t say anything throughout the rest of the blood cleaning. It wasn’t perfect, couldn’t be with the clothes. These clothes were one of a few things he treasured. He just had to coughed up a mess and ruin his nicest outfit. It wasn’t like he couldn’t get more it was just he had had these for so long and now he could never wear them again,
“I'll buy you new ones,”
Aventurine looked up at Ratio, confused he asked, “What?”
Ratio was looking him in eyes while speaking to him. It was just another thing that added to Aventurine's admiration of the scholar, “I said, I’ll buy you new clothes, you seem disappointed to have them ruined,”
Sweet as always that Dr. Ratio. It made so little sense why Ratio would offer to buy him new clothes when he is quite aware that Aventurine isn’t exactly low on credit, it was quite the opposite. Aventurine didn’t know how Ratio was financially but for what it was worth he never seemed to struggle. Who was Aventurine kidding? Ratio would never struggle. Never would that perfect man struggle. Aventurine never responded to Ratio's question, even he isn’t sure why. Maybe it made him feel fuzzy inside to have been asked. It didn’t matter anymore. He wouldn’t need any of his clothes for much longer.
The trip to the nearest hospital was long and painful, even with Ratio there. Ratio made sure to check up constantly on how he was feeling and Aventurine would give a smile in response. It was getting to painful to breathe, let alone talk. He was given some pain medicine but hadn’t helped much. Ratio would constantly tell him that he would be fine but they started to sound less and less like they were directed at Aventurine. It hurt him to see Ratio be so paranoid over the man he barely tolerated. Ratio should be happy about this, but he just can’t, can he.
At one point, Aventurine remembered the little tune he had heard that morning. Ratio asked what the song was but Aventurine didn’t reply. There was no need to. It was just a song he had once heard. Ratio didn’t prod any further. When Aventurine would start to fall asleep, Ratio would tell him to keep his eyes open for just a bit longer.
When they got to the hospital, they had to wait to be admitted. Ratio pointed out how they should have been classified as emergency care when the two walked in with bloodstained clothes. It made sense for that way. Well the staff was not aware Aventurine had coughed up blood. They would moments later when Aventurine started another coughing fit.
Even through all the chaos, Ratio made sure to stick by Aventurine for it all and answering all the questions he could. It was just slightly more bearable with him there. He was the last thing Aventurine remembered before he passed out. The pain had gotten to the point he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer. He could swear he heard soft humming, that of a lullaby. In those moments, the pain seemed insignificant. He wanted to hold onto that feeling for a little longer.
~~~
Aventurine opened his eyes and immediately wished that he hadn’t. He was was still in the hospital but he couldn’t see Ratio anywhere. A part of him was in distress but another was also relieved. Maybe he could continue what he was doing before. Maybe he could convince the people that he was just fine and could be let go.
Aventurine had failed to notice a co-worker, Topaz was currently watching over him at first, her trotter curled up in her lap. She whispered quietly as to not startle the other, “Are you done playing dead, yet?” She asked in genuine concern and Aventurine had never heard that from her, or anyone for that matter, before. Maybe Ratio had sounded concerned but he was harder to pinpoint.
He tried to sit up but a heave in his lungs had stopped him from doing more than just turning to look at the other Stoneheart. Topaz had just a frown to express what she was feeling in this moment, “Don’t push yourself,” it was not a tease or a warning, but an actual advice, “I don’t know what Dr. Ratio would do if he learned you got injured while I was watching over you,” she said all this with the same sympathetic tone, “You scared the living daylights out of everyone, you know that?”
Aventurine didn’t respond. This was the exact reason he stayed quiet for so long. Others would fret over something as unimportant as him. If he had just been a little stronger, he would be in his actual bed. Curiosity clawed at his walls and threatened to surface. He didn’t need to know where Ratio was, he had no right to know just because he was ill. He hoped the scholar had moved on from everything.
Topaz seemed to notice the other's deep in thought, “Dr. Ratio will likely drop by at sometime later into the night, he's been very busy these past few days,” she explained exactly what Aventurine wanted.
It made sense that Ratio would be busy, he left suddenly to worry over a small incident and would likely have work built up. Aventurine could feel the flowers curl in his lungs by this point. He started to shake from the pain that surged through him. Topaz stood up quickly to fumble a trash bin beside the bed,
“Here, try to get it in here,” Topaz just watched as Aventurine coughed up what flowers had bubbled up, “Ratio was right, you do have flowers growing inside your lungs, I thought he was playing some cruel joke,” Ratio would not be the type to make jokes least of all about someone’s physical condition, “Flower vomit,” she said to herself in a way Aventurine couldn’t discern the meaning from. She placed Numby by Aventurine on the bed, “Numby's been very worried about you,”
Aventurine learned that this was shorthand for Topaz expressing her feelings. She was often the most in toon with her emotions out of the people Aventurine knew, but when she felt a strong emotion, she’ll use Numby to express it. It was enduring in a way,
“Jade wishes you well and the Astral Express dropped by with a get better soon card and originally left flowers but took them back when they realized you had been coughing up flowers,” She explained to Aventurine. It was a most likely attempt at cheering Aventurine, “This…is just heartbreaking to watch, you haven’t even spoken since you woke up,” Aventurine only then realized he hadn’t even attempted to smile this whole time. He attempted to smile to try and see if it helped, but Topaz just shook her head, “I think you trying to smile is only making this whole situation worse,”
The two stayed silent for awhile. Topaz was busy on her phone and meanwhile Aventurine was successfully distracted by the little trotter. The only thing that would break the silence was when Aventurine would need to cough up the occasional flower. The whole day Topaz was there it was quite odd to say the least.
Finally, what felt like hours later, Ratio appeared in the hospital room. He didn’t even say hello before quickly rushing Aventurine's side and start inspecting, “How are you feeling? You don’t appear to have a fever,” His hand rested on Aventurine's forehead before going to above his heart and pausing for a moment, “Heartbeat is a little fast at the moment but that’s to be expected, follow the pen,” Pen? Oh, Ratio was holding a pen. He moved it around for a moment before going, “Eyes are slightly unfocused, do you feel any discomfort?” Ratio asked his final question.
Discomfort was an odd word to Aventurine, at the moment. He felt a bit of relief from seeing Ratio, but him getting so close made him fluster up and make him stumble on what to say. It was refreshing to feel that way again, getting nervous around Ratio in a way that wasn’t related to his health, “N-no, I feel fine,” he stuttered the first word like some sort of high schooler. At least he thinks that’s a good description.
Ratio looked unconvinced by Aventurine's word and he scrambled to clarify, “I mean, I feel fine in the sense where it’s manageable, I don’t mean to lie,” Aventurine spoke quickly and began to start coughing.
Ratio backs off a little, “No need to freak out, it’s fine,”
Topaz spoke up from the other side of the room and began teasing the others, “Aw, you two are so cute, but can I go now? I have another matter to attend to at the moment,”
“Ah, yes, like I said, you are free to go whenever I am back,” Ratio explained again to Topaz. Though the interaction was brief, Aventurine got a pretty good understanding of what was happening. He didn’t quite like it but he would just have to improvise. It was just his luck.
Why wouldn’t Ratio let him die? Aventurine was in so much pain everyday but Ratio kept giving him hope, giving him a reason to keep going. Aventurine had already come to the conclusion that it would be quite selfish to die but he didn’t want to live anymore. He didn’t want to wake up just to repeat the same thing over and over until fate decides he can die. What was the whole point? If Ratio truly cared about him, he would have already left by now, but he kept coming back. Letting Aventurine get used to his company only for it to hurt so much more when he left.
It hurt so badly how much Aventurine wanted Ratio to like him in the way Aventurine like Ratio. He knew he wasn’t good enough for that but he wanted to badly to be loved. He wanted to wake up happy because Ratio was there. It was so unfair. Why did he have to fall in love with the other.
Ratio stayed in the room for the rest of the night, mainly reading through many of the books he brought along. The books seemed to to be on different illnesses throughout the galaxy that could be deemed similar to Aventurine's. Ratio had instructed Aventurine to sleep and get rest and for the most part Aventurine did somewhat follow that advice but would often wake up throughout the night to hack up flowers and blood. Ratio would often stop reading to look over at Aventurine. It felt worse to be stared at while suffering than suffering alone. At least then he wouldn’t have others stare at him failure so directly.
Morning eventually came around, and though Ratio insisted he needed more rest, Aventurine could find it in him to get anymore sleep and sun being out didn’t help with that. Aventurine tried to convince Ratio to get some rest but he was also unconvinced. Aventurine was worried about Ratio after what seemed like an entire night of reading but he also just wanted Ratio to let his guard down so he can properly escape without being noticed but Ratio was apparently incapable of sleeping. At least there was one thing Ratio didn’t excel at, now if only Aventurine was any better.
Ratio was very upset the entire morning. He was less patient when trying to get Aventurine to eat and even less when Aventurine refused to talk about his condition, “You know what’s affecting you, why won’t you tell me?” Ratio had only assumed Aventurine had knowledge on his condition but he took the lack of denial on that front a sign he was correct, “If you tell me about the condition and what causes it, we can more easily come up with a cure to get rid of it,”
Aventurine still refused to answer any of Ratio's questions. He knew not only the cause but the cure as-well. He also knew what would happen if the cure didn’t work. He would still die and the other would have the full knowledge of his feelings. If he had told Ratio that the only way he could survive was for him to return his feelings, what would happen if he lied? What if he said he did reciprocate when in actuality he didn’t? It wouldn’t cure him unless the feeling were genuine and if they weren't it could make it worse. Now Aventurine would die and the other would have failed just because they didn’t return Aventurine's stupid feelings. Aventurine just wished he could convince Ratio to accept that he will die and stop fighting him on this.
Topaz eventually returned in the evening holding a duffel bag. She placed it on one of the visitors chairs before speaking to the other two in the room, “Okay, Ratio, I’ve returned for my day shift of watching Aventurine dying,” it was a sort of joke Aventurine and Topaz had for each other, but Ratio didn’t seem to like it and referred to glaring at the woman,
“Need I remind you, that you are a whole system hour late,” That Ratio, such a stickler for time. Aventurine would need to restrain from purposely being late to their meetings for that face Ratio would give. It was so adorable.
Topaz was normally on time for many things but she quickly retorted, “And you were a whole two system hours late yesterday, I had already told you that I have things I need to do, you are lucky you get me for half a day,”
Aventurine plucked the strength to add, “I think Topaz has you beat here, Ratio,” it made a bit more sense why the previous day felt quite slow with Ratio's arrival. Even though Topaz never explicitly mentioned when Ratio would return, there was still a feeling of lateness. Though, he wished Ratio would get some time to rest and not babysitting Aventurine the entire time.
Ratio swiftly turned to the gambler, “And you can be quiet, if you’re not going say anything useful then you best be quiet,” Aventurine couldn't help the genuine smile that crept onto his face at that. It was so much better to watch Ratio snap back at one of Aventurine's jokes than to watch him needlessly worry over the other. Ratio turned away from Aventurine after that smile.
Topaz clearly tried to contain a laugh, “I feel the need to repeat what I had said last, you two are both adorable,” she remarked. Aventurine had to try to hide his embarrassment but was glad Ratio was looking away.
Ratio sighed, “Well if we’re done here, I have thing I need to do,” he didn’t even wait for a response before making his exit out the room. Ratio was probably annoyed by the delay in his plans and probably wanted to get straight to it.
Topaz had waited a moment after Ratio's departure to speak to Aventurine, “I'm not going to tell Ratio, but I have to ask,” She grabbed a book from her bag before approaching Aventurine's side, “Is this it?” She asked while presenting the book.
Aventurine remained motionless upon reading the title. Hanahaki, the book, seemed to be a children’s book which was ironic because Aventurine was sure the contents would be too morbid to show to children. It had outlines of flowers on the cover and a red background. Aventurine had never seen this book before but here it was.
Topaz began explaining, “This is a book I found when looking for a book to read to Numby, It brought intrigue for me since the author mentions in the back that it was based on an Avgin disease story that they had learned about on a whim. When I heard you were coughing up flowers, I looked into the validity of this book. The disease is considered fictional because there have been no reported cases and the paper I found never mentioned flowers but mentioned the imagery of flowers in Avgin depictions,” Topaz looked Aventurine in the eye with a dead stare before finally finishing with a question, “It’s Ratio, isn’t it?”
Aventurine felt cold shocks flow through him. He had tried to hide everything so well up until this point but still the truth was still revealed in the end. All Aventurine could do was try and deflect, “What kind of children’s book has someone puking up flowers and blood? I would be quite mad if I was a parent and my child came crying about bloody flowers, can’t imagine it did well in sales,”
Topaz was predictively upset at Aventurine dodge to answer but couldn’t help but explain, “Well blood is never mentioned and the character inflicted was only mildly discomforted by the flowers, but you still haven’t answered the question!” She pushed.
Aventurine could still play dumb, “What is Ratio? No need to be endlessly vague and I must ask what this disease in question is, I’ve never heard of it,” he had no idea how he was going to go about getting himself out of this but he started by remaining calm and stalling.
Topaz looked at Aventurine annoyed, “The one you love, is it Ratio? The paper clearly points out that unrequited love could fester until a clock of sorts for the end of the Avgin's life is revealed and the Avgin in question would have a set amount of time to get the other to love them back or die. So I ask again, is it Ratio?”
Aventurine was quite mad himself. Why was Topaz so pushy to get him to admit it? Wasn’t she so great and figured everything out? Why would she need Aventurine's acknowledgment? To rub in that she had figured out Aventurine’s secret? Aventurine deflected again, “And didn’t you say the disease was fictional? Just a fairytale used to scare children. I'm sure it’s why Ratio hasn’t come to that conclusion, it’s fake,”
“Then I’ll tell Ratio about the disease, since it’s fake, it will have no consequences if he learns of the fictional disease, would it now?”
Aventurine panicked. Topaz had saw right through his bluff and was ready to bother Ratio over something so minor, “Why are you so certain it’s Ratio?” He couldn’t refute the illness and now he needed to know how Topaz was aware of the other variable of this whole situation.
Topaz sighed, “I’ve seen how you looked at him in the past and these past days have only cemented the fact, you smiled genuinely for the first time in a long while and finally spoke when Ratio returned yesterday,” she stated it as a simple fact, “And you never once told him about the disease, which could just be you wanting to keep a secret crush but you know he’ll insist you tell him who it is,”
Aventurine let out a sigh of defeat but didn’t say anything. What would be the point? The secret is out and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He had another coughing fit after everything and Topaz tried to comfort Aventurine through it but it didn’t quite help. The pain was agonizing at this point. He used up all that strength to fight back Topaz but now he had none to give to endure the vines wrapping around his lungs. The flowers were coming in blooms and it meant the end would be soon. Soon he can finally rest for good.
Once Aventurine was finished, Topaz continued to talk, “You have to tell Ratio how you feel, if not for yourself then for the other’s in your life. Me, Jade, the Astal Express, and especially the man himself,” she proposes the idea like Aventurine would expect. Anyone would likely suggest that if they had any sense of empathy. Topaz was no exception to that.
Aventurine never answered and so it went on. The day was the same as the previous, Topaz would be on her phone, while Aventurine was distracted by Numby. Aventurine also read the children’s story and found it sweet, not how it would happen on Sigonia, but it was sweet. He thought about what Topaz had asked of him for most of the day. Ratio would most certainly reject him and Aventurine would be left alone again. Now that Topaz knew, how would she react to it, she already agreed not to tell Ratio about the condition but what if Topaz react poorly to Ratio's rejection? Aventurine didn’t want that for either of them.
When Ratio had finally returned, he was actually rather early. He began talking as soon as he entered the room, “I have troubling news,” Both Aventurine and Topaz look at the man speak, “There is a way to remove the flowers, but it is extremely difficult and dangerous,” Aventurine felt his heart sink, “I learned of a surgery that can cure him but it has a high mortality rate,” Ratio explained.
Topaz immediately perked up, “Then we need to do it, it may be a risk we need to take,” she was immediately into the decision, “With Aventurine's luck it’s bound to work!” She reasoned. It was good reason but Aventurine couldn’t let this happen,
“No absolutely not!” Aventurine spoke with the strength he could muster. These flowers were not just flowers that happened to grow in his lungs, they were formed of his emotions, to remove them unnaturally would be to rip his emotions out. The book even follows this line of reason as-well, why would Topaz agree to this?
Topaz shot a look to Aventurine, “Why would you disagree to this? Is this not the perfect outcome?” She asked with clear anger. Anger that Aventurine wasn’t going with the supposedly easier solution.
Aventurine immediately retorted back, “You know exactly why!” He spoke aloud without thinking about who might else hear them,
“Know what?” Ratio picked up on this slight error. Aventurine froze when he realized the error himself. Ratio whipped around to look at Topaz, “What do you know that I don’t?” He snapped in a tone Aventurine had only heard one other time from him.
Topaz stumbled back a bit, “I—“
Ratio cut her off, “You know what’s affecting him,” he put it together swiftly, “How long have you known? Why didn’t you tell me as soon as you learned?”
Aventurine was quite freaked out by all of Ratio's anger and quickly acted before thinking, “Ratio–“ he called out while standing up only to be cut off by searing pain that engulfed his lungs. Vines tightening and buds blooming all at once. Aventurine got one good look at the other two look over in horror before Aventurine fell hard to the ground.
Both Ratio and Topaz rushed to his sides as Aventurine coughed up all he could from this lungs. Flowers and blood spilled from this throat out to a white floor. He could only hear the muffled noises that were the only sign that the others were speaking. One was more frantic and was supposedly trying to get the other to do something but Aventurine didn’t know what it was. The other was confused by the pestering and got more and more angry at the one.
At some point, Ratio lifted Aventurine's face to say something to him but Aventurine still couldn’t hear him. Ratio looked frantic, with eyes deep with concern and anguish. He looked hopeful for a moment until Aventurine continued to cough and Ratio let go of his jaw. Aventurine looked down to a flower that had landed in his hand. Under the red blood was beautiful purple and red petals and a bright yellow center. A flower that so fondly reminded Aventurine of the stunning man at his side. All his favorite moments with Ratio flooded his mind in an instant.
Aventurine remembered the first time he met the scholar. It was a day he would never forget. It was start of his late habit. Ratio had not shown his cute face, for he was wearing his bust and so it was sadly covered up. Ratio still found a way to be cute by sharply biting back to Aventurine when he would make a joking remark. It was tame for what was to come.
Next he remembered the first time Ratio paused to help him understand something. It made Aventurine's heart swell when, instead of belittling the gambler, Ratio had explained the meaning behind his words. He was patient and willing to listen to any question the Stoneheart had on his mind. Aventurine learned to trust the scholar with his questions and eventually found himself able to ask the simplest questions, one’s that he was sure Ratio would insult him for only to be met with understanding. He knew Aventurine didn’t have much of an education and was fine with explaining anything for him.
Maybe his fondest memory but the time on Penocony. It was agonizing, sure, but despite being instructed to play the role of traitor, Ratio still made sure to walk alongside Aventurine and make sure he was safe by his side. Ratio was probably the only person Aventurine trusted with this role. He knew it would be easy for the other to betray him and go along with a plan like his. Ratio played the part perfectly. He gifted Aventurine a prescription for a tough block in the road. That note had given Aventurine so much hope for the rest of the plan. It made him feel warm and fuzzy inside to read him wish him luck.
After that, it was a bunch of moments throughout the past few months that he spent with Ratio. Each filled Aventurine with so much love but it also caused pain. Every time Ratio would speak, it was like like angels singing but they never sang to him. Every time Ratio moved it was as if it would light would radiate off his very being but Aventurine was always left in its shadows. He remembered the pain of learning he let himself fly to close to that sun, with the first petal from his mouth. He would only struggle from there. Every interaction with the doctor was relieving but left his other moments to bring more and more pain.
He stopped to think about that moment from just days prior. Ratio had found a bloody Aventurine at his office doorstep unable to move. He was quick to run to his side to comfort the other. Ratio spoke to calm Aventurine and made sure he knew he was serious. Ratio was unconcerned with the blood that had gotten on him and more on the blood that had gotten on the ill one. Even going as far as to offer to replace his clothes.
There was underlying emotions in each word and each touch. A care that Aventurine was unused to. Aventurine could always tell that something was going on on Ratio's side. He could never piece it together. Why Ratio would go out of his way to make Aventurine feel so much and was comfortable in any interaction. It didn’t make much sense.
Suddenly, it all made sense. The look Ratio would give when Aventurine would smile. The way he spoke when telling Aventurine something. All the times he cared for what the other was doing and scolding reckless behavior. The whole time from finding Aventurine to even now, his behaviors and tone. The annoyance he would show when Aventurine didn’t tell Ratio what was wrong. It was filled with…
Aventurine finally came back to the present moment to look at Ratio. He noticed how the others eyes had started to fill with tears, “Don’t cry,” Aventurine spoke and smiled, genuinely happy for the first time in a long while, “I love you too,” Aventurine spoke his final words before passing out to the pain for the last time.
~~~
Aventurine isn’t sure how long he had been out but he was rather surprised to find himself awake in hospital bed. Like the last time Ratio was nowhere to be seen. Aventurine was filled with more disappointment than previously. He wanted to see the man he loved so dearly. Aventurine also wanted to apologize, as he had made the other worried over something Aventurine could have solved weeks ago. The lack of pain in his lungs was a clear indication of this theory. Though Ratio was not there, Aventurine smiled to himself while thinking about whenever Ratio would return.
Like the last time Aventurine woke up, Topaz was sitting in a chair, though this time she was dozed off. Aventurine would also need to apologize to her as-well. Numby was awake and happened to notice the gambler. He scrambled out of Topaz's lap and up on the bed to welcome Aventurine back to the waking world. This act subsequently woke Topaz up who immediately noticed Aventurine and rushed over,
“Aventurine what the hell? You scared the shit out of me!” She said with worry lacing her words, “I thought you couldn’t hear Ratio and you were just going to die,”
Aventurine tilted his head at the final sentence, “What did Ratio say? I actually couldn’t hear him,” he asked.
Topaz looked at Aventurine with confusion, “He confessed, you didn’t hear it? Then how…”
“I just…figured it out, I realized how he had felt about me in those final moments looking back to all the memories we shared,” Aventurine spoke the truth and was quite happy to do so, “Where is he? I need to apologize to him and confess properly,”
Topaz stifled a chuckle, “Oh right let me text him and he’ll be here in the blink of an eye, just watch,” of course she was over exaggerating, unless Ratio was still in the building then maybe.
The two waited for Ratio and Aventurine got to apologize, “Sorry I scared you back there, I was so caught up in how I felt I never entertained the thought of him liking me back,”
Topaz sighed, “Well it’s all in the past now, all that matters is that you never do that again.” She finished off with a serious tone. Aventurine obviously agreed to this. It was unfair to Topaz to have her worry like that.
Ratio appeared not long after and was even more frantic than the last time, “Are you alright? Are you feeling any discomfort? Do you need anything?” His frantic question were quite adorable. He was so focused on Aventurine's wellbeing that it made his heart swell,
“I need you to come closer,” He tried to contain a smirk as Ratio did just that and Aventurine kissed him on the lips, “I love you, Ratio,”
It was refreshing to see the doctor blush and flustered, “Likewise,” he muttered clearly unused to the open affection. Aventurine was unaware of any past relationships that Ratio had been in and it could very well be that he never had another relationship. Ratio changed the subject swiftly, “Topaz informed me of what had been affecting you, are you sure you are alright?” He asked.
Aventurine cringed back at that news, “Did she now? Well I’m all better now, you don’t need to worry about me anymore,” He smiled to emphasize his point but this time his smile wasn’t forced. He noticed that in this time Topaz had disappeared like before.
Ratio's face softened when seeing Aventurine actually smile again, “I’m sorry you had to go through that pain if I had—“
Aventurine hushed him, “No, none of that, you were more than clear with your feelings I just subconsciously ignored them and proceeded to die in my own self-pity,”
Ratio was less than convinced however, “If I hadn’t waited till your last moments than maybe you wouldn’t have been so close to death,”
“Well I’ll have you know that I actually didn’t hear you, I only just learned about how you attempted to confess when the flowers were coming close to taking over my lungs,” Aventurine admitted, “but I saw the flowers and it reminded me of you and how much you cared about me and how you would look at me, it’s just a coincidence that you confessed in those final moments,” he explained in detail in hopes in that it would convince Ratio to accept that he wasn’t to blame.
Ratio huffed, “Well in that case let me repeat myself,” He declared, “I love you, Aventurine,”
“Kakavasha,”
“Pardon?”
“It’s my name, you may use it as you see fit,” Aventurine had never told anyone else about his name but he felt it was only fitting for his new found lover to use it.
Ratio gave it a try, “Okay then, Kakavasha, I will be sure to put it to good use,” Aventurine could feel that fuzzy feeling bubble up again and Ratio sealed the deal with another kiss.
In a way Aventurine still hurt. His lungs still hurt slightly and his throat was most certainly sore. His smiles were formed of happiness but it took a lot of effort to make it shine. He was unsure what the future had in store but he was sure it would all turn out alright if he had Ratio by this side. Aventurine knew Ratio would listen and help in any way that he could.
Yeah, things were gonna be okay.