Chapter Text
Es had admittedly started to fear Prisoner No.10, Kotoko Yuzuriha after their last interrogation. Maybe not fear Kotoko exactly, but fearing her influence on themself. Not only was she right about a lot of things that hit Es way too close to home, Es knew she was careful and counculative with her manipulation towards Es. Bringing up topics like power and control had Kotoko knowing she hit a nerve, and Es was pretty sure she liked doing it too, through her chuckles and laughs.
Es also feared Kotoko was trying to gain control of the prison through Es to run it the way she wanted it, and that led Es to come to the conclusion that they needed to be arms length away from her: literally and physically.
Yes, it was awkward when Es marched into Kotoko Yuzuriha’s cell door after opening it, and sticking their arm out when they got close to Kotoko to make sure they were an arms length apart, so Kotoko couldn’t comfort them like she had done last time. Recalling all the kind things Kotoko said to Es during that moment made them feel sick. It made Es feel nice in the moment, but now it only leaves a pit in their stomach.
Despite their disdain for Kotoko, Es knew they should at least take some of Kotoko’s advice: not getting attached to any of the prisoners, even if deep down they’ve known they’ve failed since the news of Fuuta Kajiyama and Mahiru Shiina’s injuries.
Milgram is Es’s burden to carry, not anyone else’s.
“I’m surprised to see you here, although I doubt I should be after that announcement last night,” Kotoko quickly started the conversation, and Es could already tell she was going to try and preach her theory of crime and punishment, “And you’ve seem to have been chatting with all the other prisoners previous to myself.”
“That’s just how the order goes,” Es affirmed, and for the first time, they immediately reached into the pocket of their shorts and grabbed their pen as well, and flipped to a blank page. This conversation needed to be separated, since Es wanted to take note of Kotoko’s thoughts on Milgram, if they came up, which they likely would, knowing how Kotoko loved to preach about her feelings on evil and the way she thought the prison should be run. Es wanted to pick and choose which of her values on Milgram would be potentially useful to them.
“So is this an interrogation? Something to do with the announcement?” Kotoko questioned, and Es felt a bit of doubt at her ability to be patient, although they both knew planning attacks took a lot of time and calculation. That’s why her murder succeeded, and her attacks on the guilty prisoners half failed.
“I was instructed to come ask you about any funeral arrangements or any sort of will you have if you are voted guilty in the third trial, and perish for your sin,” Es cut to the chase, hoping this would make this conversation much shorter and not go into a manipulative rant on Kotoko’s part.
“That’s easy, but I doubt you’re going to like what I have to say,” Kotoko responded, stealing Es’s words from their previous encounter. It gave Es a hit of déjà-vu, although it wasn’t a phenomenon and after about a second of reasoning, Es concluded they were a hundred percent sure they had just said those exact words to Mikoto.
“Tell me. Your will doesn’t care about what I like and what I don’t like,” Es countered, switching the pen into their left hand for good measure, looking like they were about to write.
“If you really do choose to get rid of me, I want you to carry on my legacy outside of Milgram. If you think you’re strong enough to guide this prison without me, you would be strong enough to administer justice outside of this prison too, right?” Kotoko said, her tone of voice intently mocking and malicious.
Es almost asked what’s with the rude tone before they truly processed her words.
The room fell silent, and Es stopped writing with the words ‘administer justice’. They looked up intently at Kotoko, who just stared back down at them as if they were a speck of dirt.
After about a minute of intense staring passed and Es put their pen back in the pocket of their shorts, Es spoke up, “You do realize I do not have to carry out your will, correct? That I might just disagree with your methods?”
Kotoko chuckled and immediately fired back with a bit of mean spirit, “But isn’t that just what you’re doing now? You’re judging everyone’s crimes and by the third trial, whoever you choose will be dead. You’re telling me you disagree with the method you have so blindly followed all this time?”
“I did not know about this until last night,” Es shot back, acutely aware of the fact their voice was rising in volume, “And…”
Es didn’t know what else to say. They were so fine with this method Jackalope told them about, but now that someone’s hitting them in the face with it, it feels wrong. How unfair is it to give someone a death sentence just because you thought what they did was wrong? Kotoko did what Milgram ultimately wanted, just earlier than expected, and she was painted as a villain, yet as Es will do the same, when Milgram wants them to, they’re painted as the hero?
“And what?” Kotoko snarled back at Es, “You can’t do it, can you? I told you that your bonds with the prisoners would be your downfall, but you don’t listen to me.”
“Because I don’t have to,” Es pointed with conviction, and touched the skin and bones above Kotoko’s heart, “I don’t have to listen to you. This is not your prison, this is my prison.”
Es retracted their hand, and stepped up closer to Kotoko.
“Whoever’s actually running the show is probably laughing at you in your tracks,” Kotoko argued, “You think you’re something just because you can complete our mutual goal on your own now. Well here’s the truth: you’re nothing. You’re nothing because your own emotions are getting in the way of your ‘justice’.”
Es breathed heavily in their tracks, panting like Mikoto would before John came to front, Kotoko’s words running through their mind.
‘You’re nothing. You’re nothing because your own emotions are getting in the way of your ‘justice’.’
Kotoko stood up straighter, and as she thought she might’ve won in this situation, whereas their last two interrogations usually ended in a draw of ideals and conflict, neither side having enough evidence or moral high ground to back up their argument.
Es stood up straighter and raised their voice with a sense of confidence and assertiveness, “I may be nothing to you, or in the large scale of Milgram, but…”
Kotoko eyed Es for a weak spot, but just as she could point one out, Es lowered their voice and spoke their truth.
“At least I don’t need you.”
Kotoko stepped back, her eyes having widened a bit and the words were taken out of her mouth. She could hit Es with the faults in their emotions or the fact they’re powerless against the system, but the one thing that Kotoko held out hope for immediately died as soon as the words came out of Es’s mouth.
Es really doesn’t need her anymore. Their mutual goal will be fulfilled by Milgram in the end anyway, and that’s all that should matter, right?
Then as Es turned around to walk out of Prisoner No.10, Kotoko Yuzuriha’s prison cell, why did they feel as useless as ever? Why did Kotoko feel disappointed beyond belief, even if her goals were going to be completed?
“Es-kun-” Kotoko called out, “Wait!”
As Es heard their name coming out of Kotoko’s mouth, they knew they both had extreme power complexes, and wanted full control over Milgram, no matter what. Her end goal was to still rid the world of evil, but using Es as a tool in here, so she could get out and expand her progress to end all hellish crimes.
Es hesitantly turned around to meet Kotoko’s eyes, as serious and stern and as filled with conviction as ever, but oddly seeming a bit panicked as her irises moved around a bit unpredictably.
“We both know you have no control over Milgram anymore,” Kotoko started, and as much as Es wanted to shut Kotoko’s mouth with their bare hands right then and there, maybe also to snap her jaw in the process, but against their better judgment, they let Kotoko keep talking, “We can end this, Es-kun. You and I. Just let me be your fangs again, and we can put Milgram to an end.”
Es fully let themself turn around and looked at Kotoko in shock, “Huh..?”
“Just let me be your fangs, and we can end Milgram. You won’t have to worry about the burden of your convictions, and I will take it on. You’ll be able to go back to whatever life you had beforehand, and I’ll continue to serve justice,” Kotoko explained her thoughts and plans.
Es could not deny that they were tempted. It would be nice to see Milgram out of their future and not have to be stuck in the prison for the seventeenth year of their life, and to find out who they really are and what led them to become Milgram’s prison warden,
and to just be a normal teenager.
But isn’t that what Muu Kusunoki had been, too?
Haruka Sakurai had only been their age when he entered the prison.
Amane Momose would be fifteen, the age Es started this job at, once Milgram ended.
Was ending Milgram, and everyone there for it, really worth it?
Yuno Kashiki still had a loving family at home.
Fuuta Kajiyama still needed to finish college and get his degree.
Shidou Kirisaki… he might still have patients if his medical license wasn’t revoked.
Mahiru Shiina still wanted to find the love of her life.
Kazui Mukuhara still had his job, and passions in life.
Mikoto Kayano still was working in or towards his dream job.
Es quickly and definitively decided it was not worth it. Even if they judged that one of them would be taken away from the life they have lived, as to never experience it again, it didn’t mean all of them really deserved that fate, did it? And once again, Es decided it did not.
“I reject your offer, Prisoner No.10, Kotoko Yuzuriha. You seem to think that everyone else’s life here isn’t precious, and that everyone else are just a bunch of filthy murderers, but you don’t know a thing. You seem to think listening to my interrogations with other prisoners, and other prisoner’s conversations gives you the full picture onto their crimes, but it doesn’t. It barely gives you a damn thing,” Es spoke with dignity and assertiveness, the most true confidence they had felt in a long time, “I am the only one who can see what really happened, from people’s own minds, and it’s not fair for you to take away the lives of people who had such complex circumstances behind what they did, so complex that you couldn’t even begin to comprehend them.”
Es was quickly running out of breath, but they still had so much more they wanted to say, so much more they wanted to stick to Kotoko, “You’d be as ‘bad’ as one of your fellow prisoners if we ended Milgram, and I would be too. That’s why I reject your offer, and I’ll see you next once verdicts for this trial are out.”
Es turned on their heel, and this time really walked out of Prisoner No.10, Kotoko Yuzuriha’s prison cell, the best they’ve ever felt, and the most ready they could be to tackle trial 3 of Milgram.