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On the night after each of his children are born, Ramon dreams of their future spouse just as he'd once dreamed of his own future wife.
And Eddie, his beautiful boy, is going to marry a man with a bright smile and a bruise over one eye.
Ramon is not okay with that at first, but, by the time his son is old enough to walk and interrogate the world, he has accepted what will be. But he also knows the world will not be kind to his son who will love a man and so he does everything he can to ensure his son is strong, manly, and good.
Growing up Eddie shows no signs of his inclination, but this does not worry Ramon or Helena. They have prepared. They have a variety of cross-stitched flags hidden away for whatever identity Eddie eventually comes to them with--gay, bi, queer, or even demisexual.
So. Shannon is a surprise.
After Eddie meets Shannon, every hope and wish Ramon and Helena had for their son seems to diminish. They try to like Eddie's wife, but when Ramon looks at her, all he can see is a barrier between his son and happiness.
When they learn Chris, amazing Chris, has CP, Helena whispers in bed one night if Ramon thinks it is a sign. She immediately apologizes for the thought and never says anything to anyone else, but sometimes when their eyes meet during Eddie's long absence, he knows what she is thinking.
Then Eddie returns and Shannon leaves and Eddie decides to relocate his entire life with barely a plan and it seems like everything was falling to pieces.
They just want him to be happy.
But then their son reaches out again. He is smiling again. After each call, Helena frets, wondering if she should apologize, but fearing re-opening the wound if she speaks up again.
Then they meet Buck. On Zoom first and Ramon loses his words for a second finally seeing the man he dreamed of nearly three decades prior. Helena keeps poking his arm in excitement while trying to sound normal. God only knows what Buck thinks.
And then Eddie says he'll be visiting due to work. Buck will be coming along, too. Helena gets out her old cross-stitch flags and fans them across the dining room table. "Which one, do you think? Should we frame it somewhere he can see?"
But. Eddie brings no announcements. He and Buck are friends. Not even dating. Ramon and Helena both keep looking for signs, but find none. When Eddie notices the framed pride flag on the mantle, he only says he hadn't realized his mom had gotten back into cross-stitching. He doesn't even notice it is a pride flag.
After he leaves, Ramon sinks down on the couch next to Helena and asks, "Where did we go wrong?"
When Eddie says he's dating again, they get their hopes up, only to be disappointed once more.
"Ana?" Ramon spits with disgust. "Why are all these women wrecking my boy's future?"
"He said Christopher needs a mother. Why does he think Christopher needs a mother? Did we teach him that?"
They look at each other in horror. Had they done this somehow?
"We will fix it," Ramon promises.
They start by letting Eddie know they love him and are proud of him. No matter what. Ramon makes a point of mentioning one of his friends has a lesbian daughter and how happy they all were she was getting married soon. Helena asks after Buck. Ramon asks after Buck.
They both wonder if Eddie even notices their fascination with Buck, or if he's just happy for the chance to wax poetic on his 'best friend' and spit spite toward Buck's girlfriends: Abby, Ali, Taylor, Natalia.
"He sounds very important to you," Helena says, faintly, after a particularly long tangent on Buck.
"Of course he is," Eddie responds, not even seeming to realize what he's saying. Then he tells them about his will.
They can tell he's braced for anger, but this? This finally makes sense.
"Sounds like a good decision," Ramon says.
"We know you've always done your best for Chris," Helena adds, hoping again that her words lessen the sting of the ones she said years before in frustrated anger.
"Thanks," Eddie says, but he looks confused. "Is everything all right?"
"Of course," they tell him.
When Pepa calls crowing about setting Eddie up with Marisol, Ramon wants to break something.
"I'm sure he doesn't need your help," he tells his sister. He refuses to out his son before he is ready, at least not to anyone other than Helena, but she's his mother and Ramon's wife; she's the exception.
Then finally they get a call.
"What's wrong, mijo?" Ramon asks after Eddie's attempts at conversation start and wither for a full ten minutes.
"Nothing. I don't know why I called."
"Is everything all right with Marisol?"
"Oh, fine. Or, not fine. We just broke up."
"Good," Ramon says before he can stop himself. Then, into Eddie's stunned silence he adds, "She was not right for you."
Eddie barks a short, humorless laugh at that. "Is anyone?" Then, while Ramon is trying to formulate a response that is more than just soothing words, Eddie blurts out, "Buck's bi."
Ramon pumps his fist, glad they're on the phone and not Zoom. Helena sees him and rushes over. "Is that Eddie?" she asks. "Did he--?"
He places his fingers over her lips to quiet her and shakes his head. 'Buck,' he mouths.
Her mouth drops into an oh.
"I'm putting you on speaker. Your mother is here."
He taps the speaker button and places the phone on the table. Helena leans over. "Congratulations to your friend, honey. Do you think he'd like a pride flag? I've got several."
Ramon can see they're abandoning all pretense at subtlety.
"Why would you have pride flags?" Eddie asks, bewildered.
"Just in case," Helena chirps.
"Right." Their son is skeptical. "So if Adriana or Sophia or I--"
"Yes," Ramon cuts in.
"Always," Helena adds.
"That's why we wanted you strong," Ramon adds. "People are not kind."
"I have no idea--thank you?"
"We love you," Helena says. "No matter what."
"No matter who you love, whatever their gender," Ramon continues. "You are ours. Always."
"I--oh, shit, I need to go. Love you!"
"You too."
They do not know how their words send Eddie's mind spinning. They do not see the automatic way he enters the 118 and slowly walks upstairs. Or how, instead of saying 'hello,' he says in an almost dreamlike voice, "I think my parents just gave me the coming out speech?" Because he's practiced that speech before, too, when Chris was younger. He wanted to be ready so he didn't freeze in the moment just in case.
They do not see the double takes his co-workers give him or the presses for information. They do not see how their son's cheeks slowly warm as he processes the phone call more fully. "They told me they loved me whoever I loved. Even if that person is a man."
Nor do they hear Hen ask in a too careful and confused voice, "Did you tell your parents you were queer?"
And their Eddie will laugh and shake his head, because he hadn't. But then, when Buck bounds upstairs with a too-happy smile, a stone will sink in his gut and he will bury his face into hands right then and there because he had. He just hadn't realized.
Ramon and Helena will know none of this until 36 hours later when their boy calls them once more and asks without preamble, "How did you know? I didn't even-- I don't--"
And Ramon hands the phone, still on speaker, to Helena who finally gets to use her years of research and she asks him, "Have you heard of demisexuality? There are many ways to explain, but my favorite is that you have to want someone with your heart before you can want them with your body. You have to share a heart first. Honey, from the first time you mentioned Buck to us, we could tell how much your heart reached for his. And these days, when you talk about him, his love of knowledge, his way with Chris, we see how much of your heart you've already shared."
"I love him, don't I?"
"We're happy for you," Ramon says, but he hates how lost Eddie sounds. Love should make people feel sure and steadfast, not at sea.
That's when Eddie tells them about Tommy.
"Why is Eddie's path so hard?" Helena asks him after they've hung up.
Ramon shakes his head, also wishing he knew.
Eddie calls more often after that. He hasn't told anyone else yet. He says he doesn't know how to tell anyone without it being a confession and he can't confess. He refuses to wreck Buck's happiness.
Their stupid self-sacrificial son.
"You could be his happiness," Ramon argues.
Eddie doesn't listen.
Helena sends two of her flags: a bisexual one for Buck and a demisexual one for Eddie.
She does not know how long Eddie stares at the white, purple, gray, and black flag after he opens the package. How he runs his fingers over the stitches like they burn him until he finally picks it up, clutches it to his chest, and cries because here is actual physical proof of everything his parents have been saying and promising. He hasn't disappointed them. He is loved.
She does not know it takes him two weeks to take the cross-stitched flag with him to work and hang it in his locker. Instead of coming out, he simply re-adjusts. He is demisexual and in love with his best friend. The world keeps turning. Some people notice the flag and he just confirms their questions with a smile and quick word. He doesn't want to talk about it. He just wants to let it be.
Helena and Ramon start calling Buck "your Buck" in phone calls to Eddie. He protests at first, but Ramon says he should have faith.
They're discussing another visit to El Paso when everything changes again. Eddie has them on speaker so he can talk while he cooks.
"Your abuela says you need to bring your Buck home with you this time. She wants to test how well he remembers her pozole recipe," Ramon says.
Helena laughs. "I still cannot believe you never questioned that. Even I had to earn that recipe and your Buck gets it on, what, his second meeting with her?"
"Fifth." The correction does not come from Eddie.
"Buck." That does.
"We will talk later," Helena says. "Love you."
And they hang up even though neither of them wishes to. But if this is the moment that their son finally gets happiness, they aren't going to risk ruining it.
The next hour is nothing but nervous energy. Helena frogs a nearly-finished glove just to keep her hands busy. Ramon cleans.
Their phone chimes with a text. It is from Eddie. And it reads:
'My Buck. Thank you.'
Helena slumps into Ramon and he wraps his arm around her.
Finally.