Chapter Text

Were you told what is real and beautiful? Were you told to subscribe to lies? Do you feel like you’re lost, delusional? All your time is monetised. Capture all your tears: There’s a currency in your cries. They are listening close to all your fears. Your emotions weaponized. I can see it in your eyes! Bring a tithe to the altar of success. You will not be demonised. Is there anywhere left where I can rest? Is there ever a private life? I’m expected to show you all my best, and it’s leaving me paralysed. Maybe one day we will be reborn. Or is this humanity’s final form? Into the mirror, we are tired and worn: Must I fight for more?

— Caleb Hyles (Idolise)

34. Idolise

“There. He was there.” He muttered, so suddenly tired. 

“Shit.” He heard Zack mutter as her grip tightened. 

“What did he do?” Tifa asked gently. 

“Wants us to follow.” Cloud told her.

“Then hell no.” Zack was spewing, angrily. 

“What about the Gi?” Red was asking, worriedly. “What if us not going in there, offends them more, and they take it out on the people above?!” He demanded.

Zack was at a loss as to what to do. He looked from Cloud, wrapped up in Tifa’s arms, back down to Red. 

“Wait—What—but how?” He asked, starkly. 

Cloud knew what was going on. 

He could hear them all now. 

If they didn’t go in, and either the Gi or Sephiroth took it out on the people above them?

That would be on him. 

Again.

He tapped her side, and she reluctantly let him move. One of her hands raced to grab his. 

Cloud looked to Zack, who looked five seconds away from pacing like he usually did. 

“Zack.” He called. Zack paused, then looked at him, visibly upset. “We need to go in.” He stated.

Cloud wasn’t the only one to see the vehement nonverbal ‘no’ the man did in a second. 

“No, Cloud, really—” Zack protested protectively. 

He shook his head. “He’ll burn them.” He muttered softly.

Everyone stared. 

“He can’t do it again. And I can’t just stand by and watch it happen all over again.” Cloud announced. 

“Run, Cloud. Run.”

“Bring them back!”

While everyone stared at Cloud, he stared at Zack. Imploringly. 

Then Zack burst out verbally in anger, and threw his hands down. 

“Don’t you think he knows that?! That he wants you to go down there?!” Zack asked, heatedly, pointing to the cave, incredulously. 

“Zack.” Cloud said again.

Zack growled, and pointed to him, stepping towards him. 

“This!” He gripped. Cloud stared at him imploringly. “You! Argh! Fine! I get it!” He yelled, throwing his hands up. “But you’re not going five steps away from me, you got it, Cloud? Seriously! I can’t see you hurt again, I won’t have it!” He demanded heatedly.

They were forcibly reminded that this version of Zack had watched his friend slowly die in front of him over the course of a year, without being able to do anything about it to help. That trauma had left heavy scars.

Cloud nodded. 

But Zack was not done. 

“And if you can’t speak? I don’t care what we’re doing, you damn well sign if you see him. Do anything to get our attention. And Tifa?” He looked at her. “Don’t let his hand go. I don’t care if we’re fighting. Stay with him. Throw magic from the sidelines for all I care.” He growled. 

Defensive and protective. 

Tifa nodded and tightened her grip on his hand.

Cloud nodded, knowing that was the only way they would be going to follow the Gi.

He knew the second Zack stomped closer, that he would take the Buster sword, and he allowed him to do so.

With Zack this protective? Yeah. He caused this.

“You stay close.” Zack gripped in worry.

Cloud nodded.

Then Zack went in first.

The longer they stayed in the caves? The longer, each one of them was put further and further on edge. And more and more confused.

It got a little easier when a miss throw of a potion landed on a Gi, and laid it out flat.

Suddenly they were a little easier to deal with. 

But with everything Nattak was saying? Didn’t add up. 

“This makes no sense.” Zack was muttering in confusion.

He knew a little more about it than they did, apparently. 

By the time it boiled over, he had snapped protectively with dealing with both Cloud and Aerith in this place. He stared up at Nattak, pure confusion and frustration over his face. 

“What is it you do not understand, Life Stream Spector?” Nattak was questioning. 

“The materia you forged, it won’t give you the salvation you want.” Zack answered. He would worry over the nickname later.

The Gi’s head went to one side. “It is what we forged it for.” He demanded. 

Zack shook his head and paced nervously. 

“Nu-huh. The only thing it’s good for is summoning an entity larger than the moon to crash into Gaia. That won’t give you peace. It’ll give you a dead planet that’ll eventually whither and crumble. You will be forced into the existence you have right now, for all eternity without nothing but the stars and no Life stream to fade into. It’ll be gone. Either faded, or it’ll leave Gaia behind to crumble.” Zack explained heatedly. 

That was, apparently, news not just to them but to Nattak as well.

“Then there is no salvation.” Nattak stated. 

“Ah!” Zack pointed at him. “I didn’t say that! If we eliminate the ability for your materia to summon meteor, there’s another option.” He added, ruffling his hair as he tried to think.

“You would offer us an alternative?” Nattak asked, clearly incredulous. 

“Hey, the Promised Land actually sucks, I guarantee it. But if you wanna go there, I’m not stopping you.” Zack stated easily. 

Oh, right. Yeah. He’s actually been there and back?

“But yeah. Even if we can’t give you the black materia, because meteor, how’s the alternative of not having it versus what would happen be any better?” Zack asked.

He was going somewhere with this. He just needed to get there without pissing the undead off. 

Cloud wasn’t sure if he could do that or not. 

“There would be no difference.” Nattak surmised. 

Everyone blinked in surprise that he needed no further promptings. 

Huh. Okay.

“Okay, so you agree summoning meteor would be bad-bad for all of us?” Zack started, Nattak nodded. “Are you still connected to it?” He asked.

Nattak blinked, but nodded. “We are connected to it. We can feel its malcontent.” He answered. 

That statement was a little worrying?

“Okay, but why not summon it yourself?” Zack asked in confusion. 

“We can only will its destruction, this far away.” Nattak hissed. 

Zack froze. “Wait, you can?” Nattak nodded, unsettled. “But would you if I told you someone is going to try to summon meteor?” He asked, urgently. 

That was Sephiroth’s end goal? 

Nice to know. Would have been nice to know in advance as well. 

Cloud could figure, from what was unsaid, that it was this meteor that destroyed Midgar, had been summoned by Sephiroth. And would have led to the two outcomes had it not been stopped. 

“They would use it?” Nattak asked. 

Zack nodded. “I have seen many a time space where they do. Not pretty.” He grumbled. 

Nattak blinked, and suddenly looked as if he understood the man in front of him had not been lying about there being only two alternatives for the black materia.

Either it was not used — they stayed the same.

Either they, or someone else, used it — everything somehow got worse. 

“What can you surmise for an alternative for our peace if the black materia was destroyed?” Nattak asked. 

Cloud saw the surprise on Zack’s face.

“Uh, sure?” Zack muttered, blinked then looked at Aerith, and lit up. “Aerith! Gimme for a sec!” He pointed to his hair. 

Aerith blinked, but nodded. 

Then transferred to Zack’s hand was a white, glittering piece of materia. 

“This is…?” Nattak questioned curiously. 

“Technically salvation?” Zack questioned. “Once used, it heals the Life stream. Of all impurities alive and dead. Used on you, directly, and if you don’t fight it working, it’ll easily purify your existence quickly.” Zack offered. 

“You can guarantee this?” Nattak immediately asked. 

Zack nodded. Nattak blinked in confusion. “The Cetra would do this?” He asked, looking from Zack to Aerith. 

Incredulous and shocked. 

Aerith stepped forward. 

“I had planned on using it in the first place, I’d just need to embed your people into the prayer as well, specifically.” Aerith offered. 

Nattak nodded. “Then it shall be done.” He answered. 

“Kinda need to make sure the black one goes first, though.” Zack muttered. 

Nattak nodded, and went silent. 

The surrounding echoes became silent.

Cloud felt the air change crawl up his back negatively.

Then the claws were digging holes, and the growling grew sharp teeth that lashed out as if in immediate response. 

Then all he could feel was angered pain racing up his spine, and the mako pooling into his eyes.

He wasn’t sure if he yelped out in pain, or if he even could respond to Tifa’s hand in his to tell her something was so wrong inside him, even if he didn’t know what.

But he was sure his free hand went to grasp his head, he keened over, and he clenched his eyes shut.

Nothing.

Nothing helped!

Zack saw the exact moment Nattak went about destroying the black materia. 

It showed on Cloud’s face in an instant. He heard the grunt of pain a second before his friend bent over. He saw the eye change in a second, and was bolting over, throwing the white materia easily back to Aerith. 

“No, no, no, no, no.” He couldn’t help but panic as he raced to hold Cloud’s head. “Don’t you dare!” He hissed. 

Everyone by now, aside from the very distracted Gi, figured something was wrong. 

Without Tifa’s yelp of pain from him clamping down on her hand, it was Zack bolting and Cloud reacting. 

“What’s going on?” Tifa was screeching louder than everyone else. 

“Let go of his hand, he’ll break it!” Zack hissed in panic. 

Zack saw she did, but instantly held his wrist instead.

Good girl. 

“Open your damn eyes, Cloud.” He grumbled as he tried to forcibly make him.

Cloud didn’t respond to him trying, or that he even heard him in the first place. 

He barely got him to open one eye, he only needed a second to confirm they changed in panic. Zack looked at Tifa hurriedly. “You got one of those potion thingies?” He asked urgently.

Zack noted Tifa was already hauling the bottle out of her pocket, easily, with one hand. She’s had practice with this.

“We can’t touch it.” Tifa blurted out in panic. 

Zack shrugged, and tugged his gloves off. 

“I really don’t care right now!” Zack hissed. 

He held out his hand, and she reluctantly poured it into his palm, then he was slapping Cloud across the face with it. 

His hand tingled painfully. 

But he did not care, not when he could feel Cloud violently trembling in his hold once more.

Not again. 

He couldn’t go through this again. 

Zack knew Cloud was fighting this if he could. This take-over. He felt him try to move to his hand movements across his face.

Cloud was still in there somewhere. 

He looked over to Nattak. “How much longer!?” He yelled in panic. 

Nattak noted the urgency and nodded. “You are right. Outside forces are causing it to resist. More time is needed.” He answered.

Zack pulled a face.

That was not the answer he wanted, but he went back to forcing Cloud’s eye back open. 

This time, he heard Tifa gasp in panic when it wasn’t Cloud looking back at her.

“Nope.” Zack muttered when Cloud started to resist him being held down. The potion hadn’t helped. He worried that if it had, and this was still the result he got. He clamped his friend down against him with all the strength of being a SOLDIER afforded him. “You’re not taking him.” He growled in simmering rage.

Sephiroth would not get to go through his friend to take out Nattak. He knew if he let Cloud go, he’d find a way to end the procession to destroy the black materia.

And if he needed to hold Cloud down for the entire time it happened, then he damn well would. 

He knew Cloud, and Cloud would want the damn thing destroyed. 

Cloud struggled more in his hold, and instantly Zack summoned a stop magic into his hand and froze him. 

He’d apologise later. 

Tifa screeched in panic when Cloud froze. 

Zack looked at her distraught face. “It’s alright, I just stopped him. It won’t be pretty if he gets loose.” Zack told her.

Tifa nodded mutely in distraught panic. 

“What’s…what’s happening?” She questioned. 

This wasn’t her Cloud. 

Zack jerked his head at Nattak, who was concentrating, thankfully, on what he was doing and not them. 

He noted their friends had come in closer, all looking worried, while Aerith was quickly fixing the materia to hide it away again, looking nervous.

Zack wasn’t sure how to explain what was happening inside Cloud in a way that would make sense. And he wasn’t sure he wanted to explain it with an undead spiritual leader doing them a favour.

He just had to hope that once the black materia was destroyed, Cloud would be able to come back to them. As Cloud.

He tried really hard not to panic more when he felt the time magic wear off. 

There came the struggling again. Zack looked down at his blonde friend, whose head he had trapped on his shoulder, and saw the mute rage vitriol come from not blue eyes.

Red alert. Red alert.

Not Cloud. Very much Not Cloud.

Why was he surrounded by undead people.

Zack needed to thank the fact that Cloud was actually still so sick physically.

If he wasn’t, and at full strength? Zack wasn’t so sure he would be able to hold him down as easily or without continuous use of stop magic.

But he could tell immediately when the connection was cut, and the black materia destroyed in how Cloud slumped into him. 

Zack could almost hear the angered yelling from here.

“It is done.” Nattak announced, sounding as exhausted as Zack felt, he looked to Aerith. “We await salvation, little Cetra.” He told them. 

Then they were out of the cave, and looking back up at Red’s father.

“What was THAT?!” Yuffie was screeching in panic and anger. 

Zack really couldn’t give her strength when he needed to focus on Cloud. The tremors had died down, and he could hear the pained mumbles from his friend. 

He cautiously pulled him away, not trusting he would need to pull him back, or if Cloud could stand on his own two feet. 

Zack watched as Cloud clenched his eyes, then opened them painfully. 

Blue.

Everything in him sighed in relief. 

“Cloud.” He called.

Cloud blinked several more times, painfully scrunching his face and eyes several times before he focused in on Zack in front of him. 

“Zack?” The low, pained comment came. 

Zack immediately knew he had Cloud back, and that it would pain him to speak. Probably even being conscious after that attack was enough. How he was still standing he didn’t know. 

He hurt you? Zack was easy to ask first.

Cloud scrunched his nose up. Yes. 

Still? He asked. 

Cloud shook his head. 

Zack hissed. “Argh! Stop doing things that’ll hurt!” He hissed in worried-annoyance. 

He glared when he snorted in amusement. 

“Zack?” Tifa was asking. 

They look to her. Her eyes immediately looked Cloud up and down, and landed on his eyes. 

Then she slumped in relief. Then the tears came. 

Cloud whined in panic. There was a pained noise that might have been her name.

“Whoa!” Zack panicked, he grabbed her arm and pulled her gently towards Cloud. 

She couldn’t bear his weight, but she could damn well help with the rest. 

Cloud could barely move, but that didn’t stop him from placing his head on hers when she crashed into him.

“Cloud!” Tifa was crying. She didn’t understand. But she knew what she saw. Right in front of her, he had taken him away from her. Again.

She didn’t understand how. But she did feel the slow encroach of his arm at her back, weakly. 

Tifa heard the pained hum in his chest. He couldn’t speak. And she didn’t know how to understand sign, even if he could sign to her. She couldn’t understand. 

She just tightened her grip around his middle, from where she had ducked around Zack’s hands. Tifa had no delusions she was even remotely holding the blonde up. That was all Zack.

Zack could see the worried glances from everyone else as well. 

“Alright,” He sighed. “How ‘bout we get outta here, yeah?” He asked.

Everyone nodded. 

Tifa moved to help move Cloud, and her heart clenched when he whined at her moving. 

“It’s alright. I’m still here.” Tifa state, taking his arm and putting it around her shoulder. 

She saw Zack grin, even if he took all of Cloud’s weight. He let her stay close.