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“There you go…” Catherine mumbled sadly, laying the little bouquet of flowers that she had purchased from the florist in Hebden Bridge down on her daughter’s grave. It wasn’t any particular occasion - just a really shit Wednesday that had got progressively worse as the day had gone on, and she had felt the need to come and visit. It wasn’t that it made her feel better - at times it made her feel worse - it was more that she needed reminding of why she kept getting up in the morning and putting herself through the endless crap that came with being her.
She sat down, leaning against the cold granite of the headstone and buried her face in her hands. A cold wind rippled through the trees, ruffling her hair and creeping underneath her uniform. She hadn’t even made it back to the station before having to give into the urge to come up to Heptonstall, so she was still in full regalia, and knew that she would make quite a sight if anyone came up at that particular moment. Still, the graveyard was usually quiet and peaceful - another reason that it was an attractive idea.
She had just just taken a deep breath, allowing her shoulders to relax, when a scream echoed through the tranquil atmosphere from the direction of the church, quickly followed by another. Years of needing to react quickly had Catherine instantly scrambling up from her seated position, sprinting past the headstones and out through the gate, across the tiny lane and back into the church yard.
“Somebody help me!” came another cry, a woman, it sounded like, and Catherine pushed herself even faster. If someone was in trouble then she needed to get there - she knew what could happen in deserted places like this, not all people willing to respect the sanctity of the religious site. People were wankers, a fact that she knew all too well, and she would be damned if anyone suffered needlessly on her patch if she could be there to prevent it.
Catherine rounded the church, heading for the shaded section to the side where branches overhung the path that circled the building, and skidded to a stop. There, pressed against the rough stones of the church wall, was a small brunette woman in vicar’s garb, her eyes wide and terrified as she faced off with a dog.
“Help me…” she pleaded, shooting Catherine a quick glance and then looking back at the dog. Catherine looked down at the creature, a little perplexed. It didn’t seem like an aggressive sort - it was a large golden retriever, sitting on the path and facing the woman with a playful expression. It was panting, and wasn’t making any kind of movements towards her at all.
“Don’t you worry, love, it doesn’t look like it’s going to attack you,” Catherine said bracingly, nodding and smiling at her as she moved to the dog’s side. Rather than running away or growling at her, the dog started to wag its tail and even looked quite happy to see her. “Now, you, what are you doing here?” she hummed, crouching down and ruffling the soft fur between her ears. The dog’s tongue shot out and licked her hand, and she smiled before gently taking hold of its collar.
“It came out of nowhere…” the vicar gasped, seeing that Catherine had hold of it now and taking a step away from the wall. “I was just making my rounds and it appeared out of nowhere…” She swallowed, pressing her hand to her forehead. “I… I’m scared of dogs.”
“I did wonder,” Catherine said drily, shooting her a little smile. “I wouldn’t bother about this one, she looks soft as butter.” As if to make her point the dog licked her hand a few more times, her tail windmilling so fast that it was a blur. “Where did you come from, eh?” she asked it, giving it another stroke. “Can’t have you wandering about with no supervision…” She was just checking for a tag when another voice echoed towards them, grabbing her attention.
“Ruth? RUTH! That f-f-f-bloody dog,” came an enraged mutter, and another woman rounded the corner of the church, looking a little startled to see a police officer and a vicar attending to the creature. “Shit! I mean… sorry… I…”
“Is this your dog?” Catherine asked sternly, but her question was answered when the dog quickly ran towards the new arrival, jumping up and putting her paws on her chest. “She was loose in the church yard… She has given our poor vicar here a right fright.” She gestured towards the vicar, who still looked rather pale and was still keeping her distance.
“I’m so sorry, sergeant,” the other woman apologised, looking mortified. “My wife and I… we were just on a walk and she spotted a rabbit, buggered off after it. It’s not like her, though…” She grabbed the dog’s collar and scolded her, still looking like she’d rather be anywhere but here. “Sorry. And sorry, vicar…”
“That’s quite alright…” the vicar hummed, giving herself a little shake and taking a few steps towards Catherine. “I had a guardian angel right here, coming to my aid. I’m Jane, by the way - Jane Oliver. The new vicar.” Catherine looked at her curiously. Her accent wasn’t from around these parts - she thought she caught a couple of intonations that could even have suggested London. That was something she would have to learn more about. As she turned to look at her she felt her breath hitch in her chest… Jane had the most beautiful eyes that she had ever seen, a clear green-blue that gleamed in the late afternoon sunlight.
“Nice to meet you,” the other woman grinned nervously, and gestured down at the dog. “This is Ruth, bloody trouble maker. And I’m Gillian… I’ve got a farm up Ripponden way. We’ve been visiting Hebden for the day, just fancied a stroll…” She winced, shooting another anxious glance at Catherine. “Didn’t mean for her to get away. I’m sorry…”
“Vicar, do you want to make a complaint?” Catherine asked sternly, trying not to show that she was more than a little amused by the situation. It was clear that this dog was as soppy as anything - she was now dancing around the path chasing her tail, and how Jane could have been scared of her, she didn’t know. Still, she knew fear, and how irrational it could be at times. “I’m afraid it’s against the law to allow your animal to act in a way that may intimidate others, Ms Greenwood.” She noted the flash of surprise on her face, and offered her a small smile. “Yes, I know who you are. I had the misfortune of having your ex on my squad for a while. Waste of bloody space.”
“You’re telling me,” Gillian gave back, rolling her eyes. She looked nervously to Jane, grabbing hold of Ruth’s collar and biting her lip. “Did… did you want to complain then, vicar? It won’t happen again, I promise…”
“Oh, no, not at all,” Jane said quickly, shaking her head as she cast a glance at Catherine. Interestingly it seemed that Jane was taken aback by her appearance, and there was a flash of something in her eyes that Catherine couldn’t quite comprehend. It was probably the uniform - she knew that it intimidated a lot of people, even members of the clergy, so she wasn’t surprised. The smaller woman shook herself before carrying on. “She didn’t do anything. She just surprised me, that was all… And I’ve always been a bit scared of dogs.
Catherine smirked at her. A bit scared seemed to be an understatement - she had screamed loud enough to have her come running, after all, and she still looked rather pale. “If you’re sure, vicar, we can leave it there - this time,” she said graciously, casting a stern look in Gillian’s direction. “But I would thank you to make sure you keep your dog under control next time, Ms Greenwood - lest something worse happen than encountering a vicar.”
“It’s Greenwood-Dawson, now,” Gillian smiled tightly, giving them both a little nod. “Thank you… and sorry, again.” Before either of them could change their minds she turned on her heel and made a swift exit, holding onto Ruth’s collar still and scolding her as she went.
“Are you alright, vicar?” Catherine asked, turning to the smaller woman by her side and offering her a gentle smile. She really was very pretty, not that that was a good thing to be thinking about a member of the clergy. “Looks like that gave you quite a fright.”
“It did, rather… call me Jane, though, sergeant,” she insisted, grinning at her in response. “And I’m fine, thanks. It just took me by surprise, that was all. How did you get here so fast?”
“Oh, I…” Catherine’s smile froze, and she shifted her weight to her other foot, feeling a little uncomfortable. “I… I was just visiting a grave. And If I can call you Jane, then you can call me Catherine. Catherine Cawood.”
“Oh…” Jane’s eyes widened, and it was clear that she recognised the name. How that would be possible Catherine didn’t know - there were hundreds of graves in the churchyard, not to mention the separate gravesite, so to remember one name out of so many was rather impressive. “Well… it’s nice to meet you, Catherine, Catherine Cawood. Do you fancy some tea?”
The sparkle in the smaller woman’s eyes was what did it for Catherine. She had been poised to refuse, to say that she had to get back to work or home or something, but there was something about her… something that she couldn’t quite put into words. “Well, I wouldn’t say no, love… it’s getting a bit chilly, isn’t it?”
“That it is,” Jane nodded, inclining her head towards the front of the church. “Shall we, then?” Catherine nodded, tucking her thumbs into the sleeves of her fluorescent vest. As she followed her she surreptitiously ran her eyes down her body… She was petite, wearing a pair of closely fitting black trousers and a grey shirt with the obligatory clerical collar, and rather interestingly a pair of clumpy DMs on her feet. She wouldn't have thought that a vicar would wear such a thing, but she supposed that it took allsorts.
“Have you been up here long, then?” Catherine asked, curious. She had known the last vicar and had avoided him like the plague. He was ancient and rather lecherous, and whenever they had interacted he had spent most of their conversation ogling her chest. “I hadn't realised the last fella had left, although I can't say I'm sad that he has.”
“Bit of a twat, wasn't he?” Jane chuckled, holding open the door and ushering her inside. Catherine's eyebrows disappeared under her fringe, a little taken aback by the vicar swearing. “And yes, I swear, if that's what that look on your face is about. No fucking blasphemy, though - that I draw the line at.”
After a moment of stunned silence Catherine broke into laughter as she followed her towards a little office. Even though they had just met she found that she liked her already, and wanted to know more about what had brought her to this neck of the woods.
“I think that description fits,” she replied with a grin. “What made him finally piss off?”
“Think he pissed the Bishop off one too many times drinking the communion wine,” Jane laughed, pushing her way into the office. “Make yourself comfortable, I'll go and make the tea. How do you have it?”
“Milk and one,” Cathrine replied affably, and watched as the vicar took her leave once again. As soon as the door swung shut behind her she turned, surveying the room with a practised eye to see what she could learn about her. The office was a scene of organised chaos, papers and books stacked haphazardly on nearly every surface. There were some dirty mugs dotted around as well as some evidence of food, some vestments hanging on a peg on the wall and a soft cardigan draped over a comfortable looking office chair. Overall the scene was lived in and comfortable, and Catherine immediately felt right at home.
She turned her attention to a small shelf littered with photo frames, Jane pictured in nearly all of them at various ages. Whatever age, though, she never lost the little sparkle in her eyes that was visible even in print. She was just leaning in to look a little closer when Jane herself barrelled through the door, a large tea tray clutched in her hands, and Catherine spun around, trying not to let it look like she had been being nosy. “Did you want a hand with that?” she asked, taking a couple of steps forwards and holding out her hands. It was a ridiculous size and dwarfed the brunette’s small frame, the teacups rattling ominously, and Jane passed it over with a grateful grin.
“Sorry. Always manage to shove too much on there, bloody nightmare,” she laughed, scurrying over to her desk and pushing aside piles of paper to make room. “And that photo you were looking at - that was Cambodia, if you’re interested. Did a bit of missionary work over there.”
Catherine flushed a little, knowing that she had been caught looking. Still, it was only to be expected - she was a police officer, after all. It was part of the job description to poke around. “That sounds like an interesting trip,” she commented, setting the tray down carefully and then sitting in the chair opposite the one that Jane was just sliding into. “Never travelled that far, myself. Maybe when I retire.”
“That sounds like a plan,” Jane hummed, and reached over to pick up the teapot. “Sorry about all this, should I have just made you a mug? Would you have preferred that?” She looked adorably anxious, and Catherine found herself grinning at her once again. There was something about her that she couldn’t put her finger on, something almost enticing, and she had to consciously try not to look at her lips.
“Tea is fine any way it comes,” she replied, taking the china cup from her hand and adding a splash of milk and a spoonful of sugar. “Especially if it’s made for me by someone else - always tastes better that way, I think.”
“I know what you mean,” Jane smiled, finishing off her own tea and then gesturing to the plate of biscuits. It was almost comical to see - Catherine could only conclude that she had been trying to impress her. There was what looked to be almost a whole packet of HobNobs, some bourbons, shortbread, fig rolls and even some digestives, more than two of them could ever hope to consume in one sitting. “Please, help yourself. Least I can do, given that you saved me.”
“Does it still count as saving you when there was no real threat to begin with?” Catherine teased, raising her eyebrow at the other woman who blushed. “Don’t mind if I do, though, I didn’t get my dinner break today…”
“Did you not?” Jane asked, settling back in her chair with a HobNob, Catherine’s biscuit of choice. “Do you get a lot of crime around these parts? I’m sure people reckon you wouldn’t, but there’s wankers everywhere, isn’t there?”
“That there are,” Catherine agreed, taking a sip. It was perfect - strong and sweet, just how she liked it. Words that she wondered whether could be applied to the maker of the tea in question. “Plenty to keep me busy, I’m afraid. Rather too much today, which is why I’m up here…” She sighed, bracing herself for the inevitable questions.
“We all have places that help us find some peace, even if it can be really fucking elusive,” Jane reasoned, and Catherine nodded gratefully. “If it helps you here, then why not? I’m only sorry that I ruined it by screaming about a dog…”
“Don’t worry, it's kinda in the job description to rescue damsels in distress,” Catherine gave back with a little smirk, trying to keep the flirty note out of her tone but not quite succeeding. “And I didn’t mind. It was nice, actually, for a bit of distraction.”
“Good,” Jane nodded, nibbling her biscuit. “And you truly were a knight in shining armour… or shining… fluorescent…” she gestured at Catherine’s vest, screwing up her face. “Whatever that is. It’s like a bloody beacon, that thing.”
“That’s the point,” Catherine laughed, shaking her head at her. “Still. Glad I was there, and glad I could help. And thanks for the tea.”
“Any time…” Jane gave back with a heartstopping grin, and Catherine again felt her heart skip a beat. Why was she having such a reaction to this woman? She had only just met her, yet she felt drawn to her, like they had known each other in a past life, or something. She didn’t even believe in all that jazz, and she gave herself a little shake, tuning in again when Jane started speaking. “If you fancy coming back… Well, I haven't had a chance to make many friends around these parts, yet. I came straight from London, I don’t know anyone here, so it’s been a bit…”
“Lonely?” Catherine finished, and the brunette nodded with a shy smile. “Don’t worry. I know how that feels… You can be lonely even if you’re surrounded by people, I think.” It was one of the facts of life that she knew all too well. She had felt a strange kind of disconnect for such a long time now from everything that was happening in her life, and it was utterly exhausting. She was usually able to find some respite when she spent time with her sister, although there were times when she was so caught up in the ridiculousness of her own life - as well as dating the hairy twit that worked in the local shop - that she was increasingly starting to feel like they were walking two different paths.
“Definitely lonely,” Jane said softly, letting her cup rest on her knees. Their eyes met, and something seemed to pass between them… something that was a shared understanding, a recognition of pain in the other that they didn’t understand, but could empathise with nonetheless. Catherine found herself drowning in her eyes, her heart starting to beat faster despite herself. This was crazy…
“Well…” She shifted on her chair, feeling rather nervous as butterflies fluttered in her stomach. Butterflies?! She was Catherine bloody Cawood, not some blushing school girl, but the vicar was making her feel like she was back to being an awkward teenager. “If you ever want to… you know… be lonely together?” She offered her a hopeful smile. It was a bold suggestion given that they had only just met, but she couldn’t help herself from making it anyway.
“I think I’d like that,” Jane murmured, seeming just as entranced by her. She reached for another biscuit, her hand shaking. “I suppose it’s worth you getting to know the local community anyway, isn’t it? What with your position?”
“Well, yes, but….” Catherine shifted again, not wanting her to think that the only reason she was suggesting it was because she was trying to figure her out, or to prime her to be enlisted in times of crisis - even though the church could play a vital role at times. “That wouldn’t be the only reason. It would be nice to get to know you… And I could show you around a bit, if you like? If you don’t know the local area very well… It’s always a bit intimidating, moving somewhere new.”
“That would be wonderful,” Jane agreed, and extended her hand over the desk with a little smile. Catherine reached out to take it, their fingers sliding against each other as she held onto her for a moment. “I’m glad I met you today, Catherine… You have no idea how glad.”
Catherine offered her a lopsided smile, barely having stopped herself from gasping at the touch of her hand. Even the slightest brush of her skin had been enough to have bolts of electricity shooting through her, and she wondered who this woman was to have affected her in such a way.
The next hour or so passed companionably as they chatted, Jane filling her in on how she had ended up living in the sleepy village of Heptonstall after the hustle and bustle of London, and Catherine explaining briefly some of what had occurred in her own life. They established that they were both single, of a similar age and both had a love for Abba and other music from that time period, although Catherine would have denied it if she had been asked directly by anyone else. As they chatted Catherine found herself losing track of the time, lost in the gentle inflections in her voice, the flutter of her eyelashes on the skin of her cheek when she blinked, the little dimple that appeared as she smiled. She was utterly entrancing, and Catherine had to stop herself from imagining what it might be like to kiss her. They had only just met!
Still, after quite some time had passed she looked down at her watch, wincing when she realised that she probably should have been home some time ago. Clare was watching Ryan, but she was likely to miss dinner if she carried on much longer, and she knew that it would make her sister worry.
“I better go,” she eventually said reluctantly, popping her cup back on the tray as neatly as she could manage. They had worked through quite a lot of the biscuits but there were still some left, and she grinned at them before looking at Jane. “Left you some of those for your supper, at least.”
“I think I might need something a bit more substantial than biscuits before I do the evening service,” Jane laughed, standing up at the same time that she did and walking her towards the door. “Thanks for this, Catherine… I don't think I realised how much I needed a chance to talk to someone like minded. Someone who wasn’t fixated in asking me when I’m going to organise the next fundraiser or when I can baptise their baby. The church secretary keeps trying to set me up with her son, as well.” She wrinkled her nose, and Catherine laughed as she took a few steps towards the door. She didn’t want to - every step was a huge effort, and she would much rather have stayed with her to learn even more.
“Not interested, eh?” Catherine chuckled, trying to stop herself from doing what she always did and asking too many questions. She had established that she was single, yes, but what her preferences were… Well, that was still a mystery. “If you’re talking about Barb, I hear her son is quite a catch - he’s a Doctor, from what I recall.”
“I wouldn’t care what he did, I still wouldn’t be interested,” Jane confided, wrinkling her nose as she paused by the door. “Wrong… er… gender.” She flushed, and Catherine offered her a reassuring smile.
“Feel you there. I may once have been married, but that was enough to swear me off men for life,” she laughed, and the sudden smile on Jane’s face seemed to shift something between them. Suddenly she was all too aware of how close together they were standing, how Jane’s eyes were still sparkling, and how fast her heart was beating under the many layers of police uniform.
“It’s strange…” Jane murmured, edging a little closer. “I feel somehow like I’ve found a kindred spirit in you… Like I was meant to meet you, or something…”
“Strange, that,” Catherine choked out, her eyes dropping to her lips once again. “Although… I feel the same.” It was a bold admission, and one that was most unlike her - she usually kept her feelings and emotions close to her chest, not wanting to appear weak or feeble in front of anyone else, but with Jane… It was like she was already exposed, like she could see through all the superficial bullshit on the outside and through to who she really was as a person.
“I wish you didn’t have to go…” Jane mumbled, taking another step forwards.
“I wish I didn’t have to go, either,” Catherine replied, and reached out to squeeze her arm. “Thank you… for the tea. And biscuits….”
“Anytime…” Jane looked up at her hopefully with an insecure smile. “You will come back, won’t you? You won’t just… vanish into the ether, never to be seen again?”
Catherine smirked at her, reaching into her pocket for one of the cards that she carried everywhere. Grabbing her pen from her other pocket, she scribbled her personal mobile number across the back and handed it to her. “Text me. Then I’ll have your number, too,” she offered, and Jane nodded. When she reached for the card their fingers brushed once again, and this time both of them audibly gasped, before looking at each other in a kind of wonder.
“What is this?” Jane whispered, their fingers curling together as they drew closer, like some kind of invisible force was compelling them to do so. “Fuck, Catherine, I…”
“I know,” Catherine agreed, her eyes widening as Jane’s hand came to settle on her cheek, stroking her skin with a kind of wonder. As they edged closer and closer Catherine moved her hand to her waist, unable to stop herself from urging her forwards.
When their lips met it was accompanied by a gentle sigh, both of them feeling, oddly, like they’d come home. Jane’s lips were warm and soft against her own, and Catherine soon gave up any sign of restraint and wrapped her arms around her back whilst Jane looped her own around her neck. It went on and on, gentle brushes against each other moving to the slow glide of their tongues against each other, both giving and taking in equal measure. It was like nothing Catherine had ever felt.
“Wow…” Jane mumbled when they parted, looking up at her with a soft smile. “I didn’t expect that today…”
“Neither did I,” Catherine laughed, still rather amazed at herself. This was so unlike her, but somehow it just felt exactly right, like she was exactly where she was meant to be. “But… it’s okay?”
“More than okay,” Jane nodded, pecking her on the lips quickly as if to confirm her point. “Although don’t you think you’re getting to more than first base without taking me on a date first, sergeant.” She grinned, and Catherine couldn’t help laughing again.
“Gladly,” she hummed, excited at just the thought of it. “Now… as much as I want to stay, I’m afraid that I’m needed elsewhere. Will you text me?”
“Try and stop me,” Jane chuckled, releasing her reluctantly and taking a step back. “Well.. I guess I’ve found one dog I actually like, if it’s brought you into my life.”
“I guess you have,” Catherine gave back, already missing the feel of her in her arms. “Although if you need rescuing again I’ll be happy to oblige.”
“I’m glad,” Jane grinned, and Catherine grinned right back at her. She was glad, too - it had been a long time since she had let anyone in, and she felt like Jane might just be one of those people who was able to sneak under all of her carefully erected barriers and see the real her. It was frightening and wonderful in equal measure… and she found that she couldn’t wait.
“Vicar,” she hummed, doffing an imaginary cap.
“Sergeant,” Jane replied, nodding her head respectfully, and with one last smile she turned and took her leave. She knew it wouldn’t be long before she was back - for how could she keep away?
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