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As far as I’m concerned, the morning is the most important part of the day. What happens and what you feel in the morning, first thing when you wake up through till nearly lunch, that’s what sets the tone for the day. It took me a long time to realise that because, when I lived with Medusa, I only had one kind of morning. My morning would start with Medusa kicking me or Ragnarok pulling at my hair or something, so I never got any real sleep. They always wanted something from me.
Back then it would only get more miserable after I woke up. I only got breakfast if I’d done everything perfectly the day before...I can’t ever remember eating breakfast while I was there. The entire place was cold and it made you freeze to take your clothes of and wash, and Ragnarok would always make stupid comments about my body and make me cry.
Then I’d get dressed and go to Medusa, who would look at me like I was the worst thing she’d ever seen, then she’d make me do things that were horrible and I didn’t know how to cope with.
There were never any good days.
Then I came to Shibusen. After I came to Shibusen, good days started to happen to me. Not at first. I mean, at first, I didn’t know how to deal with anything. I felt like I couldn’t even trust Ragnarok any more, and it’s hard when you don’t trust someone who lives inside your body. For a while I didn’t know if I could trust Maka, even though it was all because of her that I was in Shibusen. But, then, I started to realise that everyone was my friend. Shibusen was a nice place to wake up, even Ragnarok didn’t bother me so much then, and everything was warm and nice. I got breakfast every day and then, when I’d eaten, I got to see the people who were my friends. They were good morning and good days, though Medusa found a way to ruin it.
Warm water and food didn’t seem to matter once Medusa started to ruin everything for me.
But then it ended and I came back and the good mornings started again. For a long time, I couldn’t imagine a better morning. I even started to forget the bad mornings. It seemed, when I had those good mornings, everything went right. Ragnarok got better, we learned to talk to each other then, even though he did still bully me. I had friends, people loved me. I didn’t think life got any better.
Then it did.
I feel like this story should go down again before it goes up, that I should have to make more bad mornings to pay for the wonderful mornings I have now, but I don’t. It was all so sudden. I’d had a normal, good morning, nothing unusual, then the next morning I woke up in Maka’s arms, lying on her bed.
I’ve had a lot of mornings like it since but none were as good as that first morning. I was a little scared at first when I woke up in her arms, I didn’t know how to cope, but Maka was wonderful. Maka is always wonderful. Maka kissed me softly and stroked my hair and told me that it was ok because she loved me. I was warm and loved and nobody made fun of me. I washed in Maka’s bathroom, using soap that smelled like Maka. I ate a breakfast Maka made for me at Maka’s dinner table and it was the most delicious breakfast I’d ever eaten. And all through it Maka would come over and hug me and kiss me.
I’d never dreamed a morning like that could happen to someone like me.
Since that first morning, most of my mornings have been the best kind of mornings. I mean, I spent a few more nights in my bed at Shibusen, but though I knew it was better than Medusa it seemed like a bad way to start the day when I could be waking up with Maka. Of course, I didn’t know how to deal with wanting to sleep in Maka’s bed, but Ragnarok bullied me until I said something, and I’ve not slept alone since so they’ve all been amazing mornings.
I feel like I’ve cheated somehow, to be this happy. Surely, there has to be a catch. But, then, maybe there isn’t. Maybe all those bad mornings were enough, maybe I’m allowed to relax and enjoy myself now.
I hope so, I wouldn’t know how to cope if I lost Maka now, I think going back to mornings without Maka would be even worse than the mornings before I met Maka.