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Can we even plan for this?

Summary:

Chrissy learns that she's pregnant, and she and Eddie try to figure out what they're going to do.

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Chrissy knew the answer long before she had it confirmed. She took the test because she needed that confirmation, but it didn't surprise her.

She was pregnant.

Her last two periods had been irregular, and this month's hadn't come at all. She didn't experience any morning sickness, thank god, but she'd been eating more than usual and felt tired at odd times of the day. It might sound superstitious, but she'd felt that it was true in her heart before she worked up the courage to buy a pregnancy test. She'd had to go out of town to get it, and thankfully, Tina hadn't asked her any questions about why she suddenly had a burning desire to go to the city. It had been difficult to sneak away from her to buy the test at the drug store, but she'd managed it without Tina noticing anything amiss. She was Chrissy's friend, but... well, she didn't know about Eddie. And since she didn't know about Eddie, she would assume the father was Jason, and if the father was Jason, then Tina didn't need to keep the information to herself.

She read the information package in the test one more time, just to be sure. She knew that she wasn't wrong, already knew with one hundred percent certainty that she was pregnant, but the truth was that she was stalling. If she kept looking at the package and the results and the liquid, then she didn't have to think of a plan or how she was going to tell Eddie.

She wasn't worried about his reaction, per se. She knew that he would stick with her no matter what, but this didn't fit in with the plans they'd made. They'd agreed to move to Los Angeles right after they graduated. She'd gotten accepted to UCLA for college, and Eddie figured that there were plenty of food service jobs in a city (and a decent metal scene, he'd added with a grin). But how was a baby supposed to fit in with that? She'd have to stay home to take care of the baby, and it's not like she'd be able to go with him to any clubs or concerts because-- and this was a sneaking suspicion she had-- babies and metal music didn't mesh.

Chrissy heard a bump and jolted, disposing of everything as quickly as she could. No one knocked on the bathroom door, but her heart raced like she'd had a brush with death.

She shoved all the evidence deep in the trash can and checked her reflection before she left the bathroom. She couldn't walk out looking a mess. She was back in Hawkins; someone would talk, and even if they didn't tell Jason, her mother would catch wind of it.

Her mind started running the second she walked out of the bathroom. A baby. She was going to have a baby. Eddie would make a great dad, she was sure of it. She wasn't sure about her own skills as a mother given her personal experiences with her own, but she figured a good place to start would be to think of what her mother would do in her place, then do the exact opposite.

They could still move to LA (and likely would), but she would have to put off college. Or... not go. She wouldn't have the time for it, would she? Even after she gave birth, there would be a baby, and then a toddler, and then school would start, and she'd need to be available for that. there was never going to be a four year chunk of its life where it could stand to not have her around. The thought made her tear up, but she forced them away before they could spill, taking measure breaths and keeping her head high; she couldn't let anyone see that she had a problem. Image was everything-- especially right now, when her life could come crashing around her if people paid too close attention.

There was no point in worrying about college right now. She had more important things to do first, like telling Eddie. God, she didn't know how she was going to tell him. Blurt it out as soon as she saw him? Work her way up to it slowly so that he knew what she was going to say before the words left her mouth? She didn't know how to approach this. She'd never had to think so hard about how to tell Eddie something, before. He had a complete lack of judgment, and she'd always enjoyed taking advantage of that, bitching about her period (back when she was still getting it) or her mother or her math teacher. No matter what she wanted to complain about, he was happy to listen, and not once did he tell her that she was being stupid or that she should look on the positive side instead of focusing on the negative. He listened. He encouraged her, he supported her, and she tried really hard to remind herself of that, because Eddie's support wouldn't disappear when she needed it most. This... concerned him a little more heavily than some cramping in her abdomen. This was something he was going to have a definite opinion on.

Chrissy couldn't wait. She needed to see him. This was big news; she couldn't keep it from him even if she wanted to-- and she had no interest in trying. Maybe the smarter thing to do would be wait until they were at school and could sneak away together, but that was two days away. She couldn't keep this to herself for two days. She was going to have to risk going to his place, because there was no way she would last until Monday.

Eddie usually didn't have plans on Saturday, so she was going to walk to his place and hope he was there. There was only one payphone in Hawkins, and it was in the opposite direction of where his trailer was. She could always ask him to pick her up-- she knew that he would in a second-- but that would be even more conspicuous than her walking to the trailer park by herself. It was a bit of a walk, but hopefully it would give her the time to calm down.

The walk did not help her calm down. In fact, Chrissy was practically in tears by the time she knocked on his door.

She waited.

No one answered.

Chrissy wiped at her cheeks as a few tears spilled over, then checked their drive. Wayne's truck wasn't there, and neither was Eddie's van. That wasn't quite what she wanted to see, letting out a quiet sob. Still, it wasn't all bad. Wayne had made a copy of the key for her when he realized how serious her and Eddie were, so she pulled it out and let herself in, locking the door again behind her.

Once she was surrounded by the familiar comforts of home, she perched on the edge of Wayne's recliner and broke down.

A baby. Her and Eddie were going to have a baby. They didn't have the money for a pregnancy, let alone taking care of a baby once it came out of her. Her parents would cut all ties to her for having a baby out of wedlock, she was sure-- and especially a baby that came from someone they didn't approve of and (as far as they knew) she wasn't dating. Wayne was wonderful, no question about it, but he didn't make enough to pay for everything they'd need. She had no doubt that he would let her move in and have the baby there if necessary, but he didn't have much space to begin with, and if she moved in, she knew it would step on his toes. Wayne could tell her all day long that he was fine with her staying, but she knew that she would be in the way-- to say nothing about a baby that would spend half its time screaming and crying.

Wayne and Eddie would both be supportive, but that wouldn't change the fact that she was making their lives more difficult. That's not what she wanted. She'd gotten used to the fact that she took up space, but this would be going over the line for her. There was taking up space because she was a person that deserved to be happy, and then there was this.

When she ran out of tears, she turned on the radio. Eddie must've been the last one to use it, because it sounded out with loud guitar.

With the stress of the day and all the crying she did, she fell into a fitful nap on the recliner. She woke up with a gentle shake to her shoulder, and Eddie hovering above her, looking concerned.

"You okay?" he asked. He had every reason to be worried. Chrissy didn't show up to his trailer without warning; they either had plans or she called first. Eddie had friends and a business that meant she couldn't count on him always being at home. She always made sure he knew to expect her before she showed up, and it was rare for her to arrive on her own, anyways. She didn't have a car or a bike, and none of her friends knew that she spent time here. Chrissy also didn't sleep in the middle of the day. Despite her recent, random bouts of fatigue, she had always powered through it. On top of all that, it was also obvious she'd been crying. She hadn't bothered to clean off her makeup before curling in Wayne's recliner, and she was sure it had run.

"I'm scared," Chrissy said, the words tumbling out as if there was much more to it than two little words. In a way, it made her feel better to say it. She was scared. She was terrified of everything this news would do to her life, and to the lives of the people around her.

"What happened?" Eddie asked, immediately alert. He was perched up on the balls of his feet like he was going to run off and kick someone's ass to make her feel better.

The thought brought a faint smile to her face.

"Sweetheart," he added, when it had been several seconds and she still hadn't answered, "what's going on?"

And suddenly, she knew that she didn't need to work up to it. All she had to do was say it, and they would deal with it together, like they'd dealt with every other bump in the road. With his ringed fingers clasped around her hand, that's all it felt like: a bump in the road. He would be just as scared as she was, but it didn't feel half as terrifying anymore. "I'm pregnant," she whispered, easily heard in the quiet of the trailer. The radio was off, she realized. Eddie must have turned it off when he came home and found her here.

"You're- that doesn't make any sense. I mean, we used a condom. Every single time, we- are you sure? Is it stupid if I ask if you're sure? You didn't say 'I think I'm pregnant', you said 'I'm pregnant'. Of course you're sure, you wouldn't have told me unless you were- this is weird. This is so fucking weird, I kind of didn't think you were capable of becoming pregnant. Obviously I knew you could be, and I know that what we were doing could hypothetically result in a child, but condoms. Again, condoms, we used them.”

Chrissy held his hand and waited for him to be done. He needed to get this out. He needed to freak out as much as she had when she got the news, because if he'd been there and tried to stop her, it only would've made it worse.

"Shit. I mean, not shit, not like that-- I swear I didn't mean it like that, but what are we doing? We said we'd get out of here and be happy, and people who get pregnant in high school don't get happy, they get force married and pop out two more kids and refuse to get divorced. I don't want that to be us, I want us to be happy. We promised each other happy, I remember that happening, even if you tricked me into agreeing to it."

"I tricked you?" Chrissy interrupted.

"I'm glad we're in agreement on that," he said, flashing her a grin that quickly morphed into him biting his lip worriedly. He pressed a kiss to the hand of hers that he was holding, then let it go and slowly stood. "Have you uh- have you told anyone else?"

She shook her head. "As soon as I found out, I came here."

"Right." Eddie ran a hand through his hair, and Chrissy got to her feet.

She grimaced at the pain in her back. How Wayne could fall asleep in that chair on a regular basis, she had no idea. She stretched, hoping to alleviate the pain, but as she bent backwards, it made her stomach stick out. She straightened suddenly, heart thumping.

A frown furrowed Eddie's brow. "You okay?"

She was going to get bigger. She was going to gain weight. It was another two months to graduation. What were the chances she was early on enough that it wouldn't be noticeable? The fear that had disappeared at Eddie's presence returned. "I'm really scared," she said, and he wrapped her up in a hug. Between one breath and the next, his arms were around her, her face pressed against his chest. She breathed out shakily and raised her arms to hug him back. Eddie gave the best hugs. He was always willing to hold her for as long as she wanted. Thankfully, no more tears were forthcoming. "We agreed to hide our relationship until we left here, but it's two months before graduation."

Eddie's mouth twisted. "How far along are you?"

"I don't know. I took a test that I found in a drug store, it's not like I went to a doctor."

"Shit, yeah, that makes sense," he said tiredly. He leaned down and put his face against the top of her head. He breathed in for a moment, then pressed a kiss to her hair. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know," she said, shaking her head. She didn't pull away from Eddie's chest at all, so her face rubbed against his t-shirt as she moved. When she settled again, she inhaled deeply. Strictly speaking, Eddie didn't smell good , but he smelled like himself, and that meant more to her than any perfume in the world. "I haven't had time to plan. I've barely been able to think since that test read positive. What do you want to do?"

"Uh, no, don't ask me that question. Bad idea. Not happening. Crit fail, Cunningham, better luck next time."

Chrissy chuckled, then pulled back enough to look up at him. Her arms hung around him loosely. "I'm serious Eddie. What do you think?"

"What do I think about what? Which part? There's, like, a lot of parts to have thoughts about."

"Any of it." She shrugged. "All of it." 

"Mm, see, we're back to you rolling a crit fail."

"I'm serious," she said, and he shifted his weight awkwardly. There wasn't much space for him to move, but what little space he did have, he used. Their conversations didn't often verge into serious, but when they did, it took Eddie some time to get used to it; he was so used to joking all the time that the change was counter-intuitive to him.

"It's, uh, I'm happy about it, I think. I've thought we'd have kids someday, but that was a way in the future 'someday', not in the next year 'someday'. I'm worried about you. I could do anything and no one at school would blink an eye, but you've got cheer and... Jason to worry about." He hesitated before saying Jason's name. Generally, they didn't talk about him. Chrissy was, officially speaking, cheating on Carver by being with Eddie. It was a touchy topic for both of them. "Hiding us is one thing," he continued. "Hiding this would be... Bigger. You could be in danger if it gets out." 

Chrissy had thought about that, a quick flash of there and gone, while getting to the trailer with all the other thoughts rushing around. Honestly, she was more worried about her parents than she was Jason. He knew that it wasn't his kid. He'd call her names maybe, but he wouldn't want to stay with her after that. "I'm more worried about you if it gets out." Jason might hate her, but he was far more likely to beat the shit out of Eddie. 

"I'll be fine," Eddie said dismissively. He never worried about himself as much as she did. He always said that he'd be fine, that nothing could get him the way it could get her. Chrissy wasn't half as convinced, but she let it go for now. He chewed on his lip for a moment, then said, "I think we should stick to the plan. Skate through senior year as best we can. Get out of here as soon as we have our diplomas, and don't look back." 

"Except to call Wayne," Chrissy added.

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Of course except to call Wayne." 

"Okay," Chrissy said with a small smile. "We'll follow the first part of the plan. What then?" 

"Jesus, Chrissy, I know I'm the DM usually, but that doesn't mean I plan literally everything," he said with a roll of his eyes that he wished was more carefree than it looked. 

"Eddie," she said. 

His hands met behind her back and twisted one of his rings nervously. He tried to pretend he wasn't nervous, but she knew better. "You wanted to go to college. I still want for you to go to college. I'm not- I don't want to tell you to do anything, but how the hell are you going to go to college if you're pregnant?" 

"I... I don't know," she said, heart sinking. She wanted a kid. She also wanted to go to college. "We'll figure it out." 

Eddie looked like he wanted to argue for a second, but then he held her tighter. "Okay." 

It wasn't solving the situation, it was sticking a pin in it. But Chrissy couldn't try to solve everything right now. For the moment, solving the next two months was more than enough.