Work Text:
r/relationship_advice
@HanguangJun
I noticed that my coworker’s boyfriend seems more interested in me than in her. How should I bring this up?
It is as the title suggests. I (a 25-year-old man) work in an office, and my coworker (a 25-year-old woman) brought a plus-one (also a 25-year-old man) to our work holiday party. He spent the whole night insistently staying at my side and barely spoke to her at all. Clearly they are not compatible as a couple, but how should I tell her?
[167 replies]
@fakelove: was he introduced as her boyfriend? maybe he was just a friend tagging along
↳ @HanguangJun: I work in a corporate office, so our holiday parties are very formal affairs. I’ve never seen anyone bring a plus-one who wasn’t a significant other to one of these events.
@thetruthuntold: OP, there is so much info missing from your post it seems like you’re being intentionally vague. How do you know they’re “not compatible,” as you say, and what are your intentions in telling her this?
↳ @HanguangJun: She is a nice coworker. It would be unfortunate for her to date someone who doesn’t care about her. As I said, he was following me around all night and making suggestive comments.
↳ @lifegoeson: what kind of suggestive comments??
↳ @HanguangJun: It would be inappropriate to repeat them.
↳ @thetruthuntold: So they were inappropriate comments?
↳ @HanguangJun: You could interpret them that way, yes.
↳ @lifegoeson: op maybe you just have a dirty mind lol
@moonchild: This seems drastic after meeting him once — couples don’t have to spend every second together at an event. Maybe the guy just wanted to make a new friend
@spinebreaker: I feel like you just have a crush on this guy and want an excuse to break them up
↳ @HanguangJun: How I feel about him is irrelevant. I am thinking about her feelings.
↳ @spinebreaker: OP you wanna fuck this guy so bad lol
@likecrazy: pick me behavior
@smoothlikebutter: What is your end goal? Why would you need to bring it up?
↳ @HanguangJun: The end goal is to prevent all of us from continuing to be in an unideal situation.
↳ @likecrazy: the end goal is clearly to steal your coworker’s boyfriend lmao
@yesorno: Are you really here asking for advice on how to have an affair with your coworker’s bf? Get a grip my guy
@rainydays: There’s nothing for you to do. You’re not in this relationship, and it would be inappropriate for you to insert yourself. This is one of those times where you just have to keep your thoughts to yourself and move on
@jamaisvu: there’s no way you can say you’re more compatible with this person after knowing them for, what, a few hours?
↳ @houseofcards: You can if you’re delusional like OP!
↳ @HanguangJun: I didn’t say we were more compatible. I merely said he was not showing any interest in my coworker, and I am concerned for her. It has nothing to do with me.
@theastronaut: Lol do you really think there’s a way you can approach this without causing a fuckton of workplace drama? Be serious
↳ @HanguangJun: I am being serious, and I would like to avoid drama, which is why I asked for advice.
↳ @theastronaut: The advice is don’t do it!!
@hopeworld: finally an easy question on reddit. you DON’T bring it up
@nottoday: You should definitely sleep with him. And then tell her after. That way she knows for sure they’re not compatible!
@sofaraway: I wanna be this delulu it seems peaceful
r/relationship_advice
@HanguangJun
Update: My coworker’s boyfriend showed up to the office when she was not there and proceeded to spend the entire afternoon at my desk. Should I talk to her?
This is an update to my previous post. As the title describes, my coworker’s boyfriend pulled up a chair next to my desk and would not leave despite my repeated requests for him to. My coworker is at a conference this whole week, so there was no reason for him to be here. I believe this is an excessive amount of interest for him to be showing in someone other than his girlfriend, so I am seeking advice on how to discuss this matter with her despite suggestions to the contrary on my prior post.
[103 replies]
@yesorno: Hang on now, this guy might be crazier than you! Hanging out in a corporate office in his downtime?
@moonchild: That’s definitely a little weird. Does he work in the same building, or is there any other reason for him to be in the area? I’d still err on the side of assuming he wants to be your friend, unless he has made any overt romantic gestures
↳ @HanguangJun: No, he does not work nearby. He said he was in the area visiting his sister, but she does not work or live around here either, as far as I am aware. As for romantic gestures, I find his behavior difficult to read.
↳ @moonchild: Is he very flirty and touchy? Does he talk about his girlfriend at all? Has he asked you to hang out one-on-one outside of your workplace?
↳ @HanguangJun: He does not talk about his girlfriend. He asked me to do an escape room with him, but I declined as it seemed inappropriate. He was quite touchy at the holiday event, but that may be because he was drinking. He was less so at the office.
↳ @nottoday: Escape rooms are kinda sexy maybe he is obsessed w you after all
@smoothlikebutter: This is getting messy. You may need to prepare yourself for a potential workplace conflict with your colleague if this continues.
↳ @HanguangJun: That is what I’m hoping to avoid.
↳ @smoothlikebutter: Can you just tell the guy you don’t want to hang out with him anymore?
↳ @HanguangJun: He does not follow instructions well.
@silverspoon: Send your coworker an anonymous letter made from magazine clippings saying her boyfriend is unfaithful
↳ @nottoday: Based lol
@fakelove: has either of them ever explicitly told you they’re dating? I’m still skeptical about this
↳ @HanguangJun: No. But he has made clear references to it.
↳ @fakelove: INFO: what do you consider a “clear reference”?
↳ @HanguangJun: For example, he said they’ve been living together for two years.
↳ @fakelove: okay that’s pretty definitive then. sorry dude I hope you’re prepared for your workplace to become a little tense
@spinebreaker: Did you ask him to leave in a serious way or were you being flirty about it?
↳ @HanguangJun: I am told I say everything in a serious way, so I imagine this would be the same.
↳ @spinebreaker: Idk I still get a vibe that you have a thing for this guy and want their relationship to end
↳ @HanguangJun: I do want it to end if it’s not serving either party well.
↳ @spinebreaker: That’s some corporate-speak bullshit if I’ve ever heard it
@lifegoeson: I think you have to just bite the bullet and tell her you’ve noticed some concerning behavior with her boyfriend. What she does with the info is up to her
@sofaraway: I was pretty skeptical of you, OP, but I do think spending time at your place of work without her there is crossing a line. You should just be honest and hopefully she handles it with grace
@theastronaut: I still say stay out of it. Not worth the hassle
@yettocome: info: is this guy cute?
↳ @HanguangJun: I’m not sure how it’s relevant, but he is attractive, yes.
↳ @spinebreaker: You’re doomed
@hopeworld: could he just be really aggressive about making friends? sure, coming to your office is a little strange, but if we take him at face value, he really might’ve just been in the area and wanted to kill some time
r/relationship_advice
@demonicgrandmaster
how do i seduce someone who can’t take a hint??????
my roommate works with the hottest guy i’ve ever seen. i tried to get her to set us up but she refused bc she’s a bad friend! unfortunately he is extremely dense, rather like a brick wall, and no matter what i say he doesn’t seem to understand that i’m flirting with him. i’ve never been in a serious relationship before, so i’m not sure how to get to that point, but right now i’m stuck on even getting him to understand that flirting is occurring! please give me advice or i will die sad and desperate and alone
[68 replies]
@micdrop: Well, you definitely sound sad and desperate! Info: What do you consider “flirting” and how long have you known this man?
↳ @demonicgrandmaster: like four days and idk just the normal flirting stuff! making fun of him, drawing inappropriate things in his work notebook, telling him he looks sexy in a tie??
↳ @burningup: INFO: are you 12?
↳ @demonicgrandmaster: close, i’m 25
↳ @micdrop: OP, since the inappropriate and juvenile behavior isn’t working, you should probably just try being direct and asking him on a date.
@staygold: are you spending time together one-on-one? where is this flirting taking place?
↳ @demonicgrandmaster: yes but usually in a setting with other people around, like his office
↳ @staygold: don’t bother him at work! have you tried asking him to hang out somewhere else?
↳ @demonicgrandmaster: i tried asking him to an escape room but he declined so i don’t really know where to go from here
↳ @staygold: okay I think you should give up lol
↳ @piedpiper: Did you specify it was a date? If not, that can be your last-ditch effort. But if he says no again, leave this man alone
@smoothlikebutter: How do you know he’s even interested?
↳ @demonicgrandmaster: idk! how does anyone know that! i’ll just kms if he isn’t
↳ @smoothlikebutter: Does he seem happy around you? Does he give you a lot of attention?
↳ @demonicgrandmaster: his face is about as expressive as a rock. how would i know if he’s happy about anything?! he is generally pretty attentive except i showed up at his office yesterday so he was kinda distracted by work
↳ @smoothlikebutter: Why are you showing up at his office? Did he invite you?
↳ @demonicgrandmaster: why would i need an invitation? it’s not like i’m a vampire
↳ @smoothlikebutter: You’re beyond help I fear
↳ @demonicgrandmaster: you sound like my brother
@myuniverse: why doesn’t your friend want to set you guys up? maybe you’re the problem
↳ @demonicgrandmaster: idk maybe she’s homophobic!! we can’t be sure!
↳ @myuniverse: something makes me not believe you lol
↳ @demonicgrandmaster: well!
@baddecisions: I went to OP’s profile and this is their last post in r/AmITheAsshole: AITA for moving all my brother’s furniture several inches to the left so he’d stub his toes
↳ @silverspoon: So, either a troll or a legend
↳ @demonicgrandmaster: well! i wanted to know if i was the asshole in that situation!
@sowhat: if you’re giving obvious signals and he’s not picking them up, he’s probably just not into you
@permissiontodance: Try getting a boombox and standing outside his window
@magicshop: These things can be subjective. Not everyone understands flirting the same way, so just be straightforward and tell him you’re interested.
@letgo: If you’re flirting with him AT his place of work, no wonder he’s not responsive. There’s a time and a place for that kinda thing and you’re obviously crossing some professional boundaries
@setmefree: this is a tale as old as time. he doesn’t like you dude just move on
r/AmITheAsshole
@demonicgrandmaster
AITA for asking my roommate’s coworker on a date?
ok i’ve posted about this before here but things took a bit of a turn. my roommate’s coworker is super hot but he didn’t seem to get any of my flirting so i just bit the bullet and asked him out and he looked at me like i murdered his whole family?! my brother says it’s prob bc i did something wrong but i don’t know what! am i an asshole for asking him on a date??
edit: since u all keep ASKING, it was a perfectly normal date suggestion! i asked if he wanted to play mini-golf!! romantically!!! do u think he just really hates mini-golf for some reason? should i have suggested regular golf?
VERDICT: YTA (You’re the Asshole)
[97 comments]
@spinebreaker: So, to recap this situation from your previous post and comments, you have been repeatedly showing up uninvited in an office you don’t work in to bother this man while he’s trying to work, and now you’ve asked him out explicitly and he said no...what more do you need to know? YTA!
@letgo: Context? Did you ask him out at his workplace or in a neutral setting?
↳ @demonicgrandmaster: ya at his work bc that’s the only place i can interact w him unless he agrees to date me!!
↳ @letgo: Okay well it’s weird to hang around at someone’s job let alone make romantic advances there, so YTA.
↳ @demonicgrandmaster: what would u have me do instead?! follow him home and ask them there?! i’m not INSANE
↳ @magicshop: At least you understand some boundaries lol
@setmefree: seems like you’re harassing this poor guy and in fact YOU’RE the one who can’t take a hint. he gave you an answer, now leave him be. YTA
@myuniverse: so much info missing here once again. I imagine he wouldn’t have had such an extreme negative reaction for no reason. clearly you made him uncomfortable, so yeah you’re the asshole
@sowhat: what on earth did you say to him??
↳ @demonicgrandmaster: idk i honestly blacked out a bit but it was something like “hey i like you do you want to go play mini-golf together” and he just stared at me so i added “like a date” and then he looked horrified
↳ @sowhat: LOL he does not want to date you I’m sorry. I hesitate to call you an asshole without knowing more about the situation, but you’ll become the asshole if you keep pursuing this
@micdrop: I suspect there’s more going on here. Has he rejected your advances before and you’ve just ignored it?
↳ @demonicgrandmaster: the only time i can think of is that i asked if he wanted to do an escape room bc i was just in my escape room era at the time and my friends were sick of them but he said no
↳ @burningup: Wtf is an “escape room era” lol
↳ @micdrop: Well, you’re probably just bad at reading his social cues, so I’m going with a soft YTA. All you can really do now is walk away and forget about it
@fakelove: rejection sucks, but it’s part of life. you should examine your behavior to see if you were doing anything that crossed the line that would make you the asshole, but sometimes people’s reactions aren’t that deep. maybe he was just horrified at the concept of dating, not you specifically
@moonchild: YTA. Take the L my guy
@nottoday: For the sake of the scientific method, you should ask him out to play regular golf and see if that goes any better
@lifegoeson: if u really just asked the question in a normal way and accepted the answer, nta
@permissiontodance: Just gonna assume everyone sucks here
r/relationship_advice
@HanguangJun
UPDATE: My coworker’s boyfriend asked me on a date.
Not to say “I told you so,” but that would be an accurate assessment of the situation. I was correct about my coworker’s boyfriend showing interest in me, because he has now asked me to play mini-golf with him “on a date, in a romantic way.” Those were his words. I said no and removed myself from the situation, because I do not condone infidelity, but I believe I urgently need to discuss this matter with my coworker so she is aware that her boyfriend is unfaithful. How should I approach this situation so as to maintain a peaceful working environment?
[173 comments]
@thetruthuntold: Wow. I won’t lie — I was definitely skeptical of your original post, but it seems you were actually right about him. If your coworker is reasonable, hopefully she will see that this is her boyfriend’s fault, not yours, and keep the drama out of the office. Just be honest and try to distance yourself as much as possible.
@smoothlikebutter: Well, I didn’t see this coming. Good for you for operating with integrity, but you may want to prepare for backlash. Sometimes when people are upset they lash out, even when it’s not your fault. Good luck telling her!
@likecrazy: dramaaaaaa
@rainydays: If you’ve been conducting yourself appropriately, you shouldn’t have anything to worry about in telling her. How she reacts to the information is up to her.
@sofaraway: one of the only redditors who turned out to be less delulu than they first seemed
@theastronaut: I hope you weren’t very close with this coworker, because I don’t know if the relationship with her is salvageable. Hope you can keep it cordial, but...
@jamaisvu: maybe it’s time to find a new job lol
@nottoday: Sorry I know this isn’t the point of the post but how do you play mini-golf romantically? I have to know
↳ @permissiontodance: You wrap your arms around them to show them how to putt
↳ @nottoday: OP is dodging a bullet
r/OfficeDrama
@mianmian
My coworker just told me that my boyfriend asked him out—but I don’t have a boyfriend!
I’m not sure what subreddit to share this in, but I suppose it had potential for office drama (mostly it’s just ridiculous). My roommate has been obsessed with one of my coworkers to the point of begging for an invite to the office holiday party. While I refused to set them up on principle because couples give me the ick, I reluctantly agreed to let him come to the party, even though it was a pretty formal affair so it was a bit awkward to bring a friend. He spent the whole night flirting with my coworker, to no avail, so I assumed it was all a bust and I could finally stop hearing about how dreamy this man is.
Little did I know that my roommate has kept up his campaign! He has been to my office a couple times before—that’s how he saw my coworker in the first place, when he was bringing me my charger I’d left at home—but lately I feel like he’s constantly around, under the guise of dropping off lunch for me or “taking a look around.” I did kinda assume he just wanted to see my coworker again, but I just stayed out of it and minded my business...until today!
The coworker in question approached me in the breakroom, looking very serious (although he always looks very serious, to be fair) and asked to talk. I agreed, and he proceeded to inform me that my boyfriend is adulterous. I started laughing, of course, because I don’t have a boyfriend. I think he thought I had become hysterical at that point, but he continued to explain that my roommate had asked him out on a mini-golf date, and he was very sorry to have to inform me of his infidelity but thought I deserved to know. Imagine his surprise when I told him that I’m not dating anyone, and the “boyfriend” in question is actually my roommate.
Honestly, I think he was more relieved that he can freely date my roommate than he was about avoiding any real office drama. But if they keep flirting in the office, I’m going to be sick. I will be looking into getting my roommate banned from the building.
[72 comments]
@hopeworld: oh my god...have we gotten to the bottom of @HanguangJun’s posts in r/relationship_advice?
↳ @fakelove: no way this is a coincidence, right?
↳ @mianmian: 100% sure that’s my coworker lol. And my roommate posted here
↳ @likecrazy: I can’t believe no one put this together until now
@lifegoeson: this is actually kind of sweet — now you know that your coworker has your back!
@fakelove: wow a rare happy ending on reddit...although maybe not for you haha. hope they’re not too annoying as a couple!
↳ @mianmian: They’re worse than I could’ve possibly imagined
@firstlove: Definitely better than the average office drama! Glad it all worked out
@burningup: The miscommunication trope irl?!
@smoothlikebutter: Wow.
r/relationship_advice
@HanguangJun
Update: My boyfriend is not dating my coworker.
I was mistaken. They’re actually just roommates. Please disregard my previous posts.
[297 comments]
@hopeworld: “my boyfriend” lol I see you OP
@fakelove: I KNEW IT
@thetruthuntold: Damn…does the Reddit community need to repent for calling this man a delusional homewrecker?
↳ @spinebreaker: he held strong to his moral principles but I know he wanted to homewreck at the first chance he got if it wasn’t wrong
↳ @HanguangJun: I wouldn’t have acted upon it.
↳ @spinebreaker: LMAO bro has been fighting his inner demons. happy for you that it worked out
@rainydays: I guess he was right…the guy was more into him than his coworker
@nottoday: shakespeare couldn’t write a love story this good
r/AmITheAsshole
@demonicgrandmaster
UPDATE: HAH SUCKERS I’M NOT THE ASSHOLE AND NOW I’M DATING THE HOTTEST MAN IN THE WORLD
to all my haters who read my previous post and decided i’m the asshole, JUST KNOW he DIDN’T think i’m a creep like u all said! he just thought i was a filthy cheater instead! so there! and mini-golf was a GREAT date idea by the way
[201 comments]
@smoothlikebutter: For anyone confused, there’s a bit of lore involved. To catch up, read HanguangJun’s posts and mianmian’s post.
@micdrop: The moral of the story is that even Reddit villains can find love. Who knew?
@jamaisvu: Gotta be honest, I was not rooting for you. But good for you I guess
@setmefree: I still think you’re the asshole just based on your vibes btw
r/AmITheAsshole
@YunmengBro
AITA for telling my brother that he and his boyfriend disgust me?
They are so gross together I want to gouge my eyes out when I see them. My sister told me to post on here but no way am I in the wrong. If you saw them you’d agree.
VERDICT: YTA
[109 comments]
@setmefree: homophobia? in the year 2024? come on dude. yta
↳ @YunmengBro: I’M NOT HOMOPHOBIC. I would feel this way if he were dating a woman too
↳ @setmefree: sus
↳ @YunmengBro: No it’s not
@moonchild: the fact that you say in your post there’s no way you’re in the wrong tells me that you are, in fact, the asshole
↳ @YunmengBro: How does being right make me an asshole
@micdrop: Info: What about them grosses you out? Do they engage in a lot of PDA?
↳ @YunmengBro: Idk sometimes but even when they don’t I still want to gag
↳ @micdrop: Okay, I’m starting to agree that you’re a homophobe
↳ @YunmengBro: I’M NOT. I'M AN ALLY. JUST NOT TO THEM
@nottoday: Nta bc I think we need more haters in the world
↳ @YunmengBro: I’M NOT A HATER I’M JUST RIGHT
@myuniverse: OP, why even bother posting if you’re going to argue with all the comments?
↳ @YunmengBro: I'm NOT arguing with all the comments