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chances not taken

Summary:

Real is the promise between them: In the future, when you become sect leader, I'll be your subordinate.

It won't matter so much, who Wei Wuxian looks at or who looks at him, when they're proper adults in their own right; no matter who those other people are, Wei Wuxian will be Jiang Cheng's subordinate. He'll be Jiang Cheng's.

Had Wei Wuxian been an omega, things would've been easier. Jiang Cheng could've held him still, then, could've cemented Wei Wuxian's place by his side with comparatively little scandal, and made sure he'd stay exactly where Jiang Cheng wanted him.

Unfortunately they're both alphas, and as they grow older (and grow apart!) Jiang Cheng fails to keep him.

Notes:

prequel fic written for saha!

I don't know how much this is dependent on the fic it's written for to understand what's up, but regardless I definitely reccommend you go read saha's initial fanfic if you're in the mood for some wonderful badwrong nonconsensual Chengxian!

This fic does not have noncon in it, but it DOES have Jiang Cheng (with varying degrees of self-awareness) making his way towards a mindset where that initial fic happens. So... Choose not to warn, not no warnings apply :')

Enjoy!

(saha especially! I hope!)

Work Text:

There had been a time when they were children, before either of them had presented, that Jiang Cheng thought that maybe the way that he and Wei Wuxian fit into each other's lives would one day be obvious.

He'd lost his dogs the day that Wei Wuxian came, and then he'd gained a not-actually-not-really-brother and playmate, and maybe in the future he'd be able to shorten all of that down to just mate, and that would... That would be easier. It would take away the uncertainty and the strangeness and the hushed conversation they all nevertheless felt the tension of. If Wei Wuxian could just present as an omega, he could be Jiang Cheng's omega, and then no one would have to wonder anymore. Even his mother couldn't speak badly of Wei Wuxian anymore, if he was Jiang-furen. Maybe. Maybe...

He'd spent a lot of time thinking about maybes, back then. A child's thoughts about a grown-up world.

 


 

As he grows older, Jiang Cheng tries to stop thinking about maybes and hold fast to the things that are real.

Real is the Jiang clan, strong and steady. Real is all his shidis and shimeis and shijies and shixiongs too, his teachers and the servants and everything he can expect from them and everything he owes to them. Real is the pressure to become good enough to give them all of it, and real is the disappointment from his father when he cannot.

Real is Wei Wuxian's infuriating brilliance and blinding smile as he's talking someone into doing something they should not once again. Real is his bare skin, warmed by the sun, and the trails of watermelon juice dripping down his chin. So many people watch him, for his talent or his skill or his inability to be quiet or for his penchant for getting into constant trouble. He demands attention, no matter where they are, and Jiang Cheng - Jiang Cheng is little better than all those other people. Wei Wuxian shines, and Jiang Cheng has to force his eyes away or they'd be stuck there forever.

Real is the promise between them: In the future, when you become sect leader, I'll be your subordinate.

It won't matter so much, who Wei Wuxian looks at or who looks at him, when they're proper adults in their own right; no matter who those other people are, Wei Wuxian will be Jiang Cheng's subordinate. He'll be Jiang Cheng's.

 


 

Wei Wuxian stays behind to play the hero, and Jiang Cheng walks for days on end alongside people he can hardly stand just to get help, the whole time scared half to death he won't get there in time. He makes it. He brings Wei Wuxian home. Within days Wei Wuxian is awake and aware and making a joke out of the situation again, asking about Lan Wangji far sooner than Jiang Cheng would've liked him to, and then when they actually get the chance to speak almost alone, Wei Wuxian lifts his arm to scratch his neck, and Jiang Cheng sees it.

"What's that?" he demands, too blunt, too sharp, and with an discomfiting stirring in his stomach. Wei Wuxian blinks at him like he has no idea what Jiang Cheng is talking about and Jiang Cheng is enraged almost to the point of shouting before Wei Wuxian follows the line of his gaze down to his arm and holds it up in the air.

"This?" he asks.

"Yes," Jiang Cheng grits out. The marks are even clearer when held to the light - a perfect, unmistakable imprint of teeth.

Wei Wuxian laughs.

"Lan Zhan bit me!" he exclaims, like it's funny. "Can you believe that, Jiang Cheng? We were just talking, and then out of nowhere, his teeth were in my arm! So undignified...!"

Perhaps it should be funny. It certainly is unexpected, for someone like Lan Wangji to do such a thing - not even to an omega, but to another alpha - but looking at it, hearing Wei Wuxian so giddy, Jiang Cheng doesn't find it funny at all.

With the poor shape Wei Wuxian had been in when Jiang Cheng had finally made it back to that cave it might be days still until his body is well enough to divert energy to healing that bite mark. That makes sense. Even with the delay, Wei Wuxian's cultivation is strong enough it's unlikely it'll heal poorly enough to scar, and while some alphas might throw a fit at the mere thought of having another alpha's teeth on them for longer than a few minutes, Wei Wuxian is clearly not one of them. He doesn't seem to care at all.

As always, Jiang Cheng cares far too much. He sees Wei Wuxian laugh about it and he wishes darkly, fervently, that he could've just left Lan Wangji behind like he should have, and focused on Jiang Cheng and the Jiang sect like he was supposed to. He looks at that mark and his own teeth begin to itch.

"Bandage it up or something," he snaps, instead of examining that thought any further. There is one thing, at least, that he can say with complete and utter honesty: "I don't want to fucking look at it."

 


 

Jiang Cheng is an old hand at being angry with Wei Wuxian. He has, after all, learnt from the best.

Even his mother might not have reached the levels of fury with her least favourite sect disciple that Jiang Cheng is currently hitting on a daily basis.

Wei Wuxian has always been prone to shirk his responsibilities - especially those he thought were uninteresting, or unnecessary, or simply just one way or the other beneath him - and it's been many years since it was a noteworthy occurence for him to indulge in alcohol, but recently he's been taking things too far.

That, too, is not exactly unusual. Who would Wei Wuxian be if he never took things to far? It's normal, expected, nothing out of the ordinary for him to push the boundaries of any situation he finds himself in, and still Jiang Cheng is so horrendously angry with him for doing it now that he can hardly look at him without almost exploding.

What's the point of having a second-in command who won't share in any of the intricacies of running the sect?

What's the point of having a head disciple who won't head the disciples?

What's the point of having someone like Wei Wuxian who just-

Jiang Cheng wants to grab him and force him to the ground. Hold him still. Keep him there until he fucking explains, until Jiang Cheng's managed to scrape away the dismissals and jokes and stupid fucking excuses and find the core of them, whatever it is - but he is sect leader, now. There are a million things to do each day and the person meant to be taking some of the burden off his shoulders is doing nothing but adding to it instead.

When you become sect leader, I'll be your subordinate.

He's sect leader now, just like they'd said he would be. And instead of upholding his part of the deal, Wei Wuxian is...

He can't think about it without wanting to do things he'll never be able to take back, so he tries his best not to think of it. He immerses himself in the running of his sect and the navigating of a political landscape he never imagined being this involved in this young and tries not to lean too hard on his sister for guidance and watches as every item he manages to check off from his to-do list is somehow replaced by three more. He writes letters and instructs disciples and shouts at more people than he cares to admit.

He keeps himself busier than ever, and still he cannot fill his mind enough to keep the thought out: Wei Wuxian's skin marred by teeth, and how much better it would've been, had they just been Jiang Cheng's.

 


 

Wei Wuxian is gone.

Jiang Yanli is dead.

Wei Wuxian is gone.

He'd said he had it under control, he'd sworn he'd be able to handle it, and then he-

.

.

Jiang Cheng should've bitten him when he had the chance. He shouldn't have let go so easily. He should've caught him, should've kept him in Lotus Pier where he belonged, should've held him down like he's wanted to for so long, and-

.

.

Jiang Cheng should never have allowed him to leave.

It's not a mistake he'll ever be making again.