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Usagi clutches the pillow closer to her chest as she lies in bed. A soft breeze blows the curtains into the room from the nearby balcony in her guestroom at the Scarlet Palace. Her eyes are shut tightly asking herself for the umpteenth time if she made a mistake coming here. She should have understood the true meaning of the premonitions she had seen prior to her arrival on Kinmoku. Maybe she should have listened to what Serenity was trying to tell her. But she was too stubborn; never imaging something like this would ever be a possibility.
Her cheek is wet. She releases the death grip on the pillow and realizes she was silently crying this entire time. How long has she been crying? It doesn’t matter. She forces herself to sit upright drying her eyes.
She lets out a sigh when she hears a knock on the door. Probably one of the attendants to let her know lunch is ready. Maybe she should eat. She missed breakfast this morning because she refused to get up or accept the food that was brought to her. She clears her throat before answering. “Come in,” her voice is hoarser than she imagined. She reaches for the night table to take a few sips of water. Hearing footsteps she looks up expecting to see Rose. It’s Seiya. She nearly drops the glass. She quickly places it back on the table. Her eyes remain on the floor, she can’t look at him.
“Odango… we need to talk,” Seiya speaks softly, not sure how to approach her after their last conversation.
“…” Usagi bites her tongue.
“I know you’re mad, but—“
“Mad?” Usagi cuts him off, her eyes looking up at him, finally acknowledging his presence. “Why wouldn’t I be angry? You didn’t believe me!” She stares at him in the eyes.
Seiya can see the storm still brewing in her eyes. “What was I supposed to think? Anyone in my position would think the same thing.” He lashes back. He regrets his words as soon as they leave his mouth, a feeling becoming too common. She was still hurt after their argument a few days ago and the recent revelation only made everything worse for her. For both of them.
She stands up, looking up at him. Her voice is quiet. “How could you think so little of me?” Tears fall down her cheeks. She was trying so hard to stop the tears but they just won’t end. “…so little of us?” Her voice is barely above a whisper.
Seiya clenches his fists trying so hard to not close the distance between them and hug her tightly. He learned the other day it will only upset her more. “I’m sorry Odango; I never wanted things to turn out this way. I never meant—“
She cuts him off again. “You meant what you said. After all this time, you still don’t trust me.” Her voice wavers as she can feel another surge of anger coursing through her. “I believed you when you said nothing happened with Shiori-chan, and you couldn’t believe me?” Her hands are clasped tightly together across her chest, trying to keep it together.
“That was something entirely different,” Seiya counters. “Completely different than-“
Usagi cuts him off the final time. “You need to leave.” She snaps at him.
Seiya inhales sharply. He wants to stay and work this out with her. A bright flash catches his eyes when he sees the eight pearl rings on Usagi’s fingers glowing. Given how out of control she was a few days ago, it is better he respects her wishes. “… we can talk... when you’re ready.” He responds dejectedly. He looks at her one more time and notices the eight pointed star on her forehead shining as well. His mere presence is angering her, the last thing he wants to cause.
More than anything he wants to comfort her and tell her everything will be alright but he’s not sure anymore. Instead he withdraws, “I’ll come back another time.”
Usagi nods her head in acknowledgement. She watches his retreating back. She picks up the pillow she clutched so tightly to her chest and threw it at the door after Seiya leaves. She breathes deeply before collapsing to her knees, wailing as the tears refuse to stop.
Her eyes are shut tightly as she wonders how all of this could happen. How did she miss this? How could she misinterpret a premonition so much? She should have questioned more what she had seen. All the questions gnaw at her. Everything fell apart so fast. This wasn’t supposed to happen. The future that she had seen, was it all a lie? Did she imagine it and wished it was a premonition of a happier future?
Seiya can hear her sobs outside of her room as he leans against the door. He hates there is nothing he can do to take away her pain. What happened cannot be undone. Are they really over? She’s angry at him, angry at herself, and the senshi she could have killed the other day when she attacked out of uncontrollable rage. Thank goodness the other senshi where there to stop her. Is this how it starts? What it looks like when Sailor Cosmos loses control?