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cherry shoota.

Summary:

“I know they offered the job to me. The Pentagon one. But—” He breaks off and Gale lets him figure it out, dragging his fingertips up and down John’s back as it ripples with his breathing.

“I don’t want it. I want to stay here.”

“Mmhmm,” is the unsurprised reply and John feels cut wide open. “And what are you going to do here, darling?”

John turns so that his face is tucked into the firm column of Gale’s neck, breathing him in. As he speaks his lips dust the skin there, sending Buck’s body shivering.

“Take care of you,” John says finally, immensely vulnerable.

 

bucky & his mouth.

Notes:

all i could think about was thank god for lykke li.

it goes without saying that the fanfic i write for this fandom is based on the show characters, not any real life events.

enjoy.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Something’s changed in him.

John wakes in the middle of the road, the surrounding area dark and barely lit by the glow of a yellow moon. He’s shivering and clutching his arms, his pupils blown so wide that his eyes resemble black discs.

Something unpleasant burns through him, tremors wracking his body as his nails dig into his palms.

He turns around to see Gale walking toward him with his hands held out, pale palms up as if to appease him. He can’t speak and his head is heavy and being pulled toward the moon, his white throat gleaming.

John bites back the urge to cry, frustration simmering along the length of his fingers. He’s been sleepwalking increasingly, the end destinations getting more dangerous.

As he tries to step forward, toward Gale, he takes a step back instead. The ground beneath his feet is too soft to be pavement and when he looks down he resists the urge to scream.

Common blue violets are strewn below, the petals soaked through with blood. As the red sludge pools out around him, his eyes fall on the lone body of a fawn, its young eyes staring out into nothing. The tears start coming now and he feels his fear surge, the blood and petals growing thicker until Gale can’t get any closer.

He turns away in horror only to be met with the smooth face of his mother. She holds him by the hand, her mouth twisted in distaste. Behind her is Curt’s mangled face, the silhouette of his body almost monstrous as he moves to John’s other side.

“Did I do this? Did I kill it?”

His questions go unanswered as they exchange a fleeting look. John cries harder now.  He turns to face Gale again, pressing his fingers into the deep pockets of his eyes.

“I just want to go to sleep,” he moans. “I’m so tired but I can’t stop the walking. And now I’m killing things, Buck.”

“John, you need to breathe,” is all Gale says before he pulls him into a hug. “Come on, baby.”

“Even if you did kill it,” he continues, pressing the words into his skin, “what’s that have to do with my love?”

There’s a sigh and then John pulls away, looking up at the other man from underneath his thick lashes. He gently touches Gale, pushing the gold curls back to see his face. His eyes are white, scarred by burns that speak of bombs.

He goes to wrench away but he slips, his lithe body falling into the spread of blue violets. The petals go flying, blood spinning off of them like diamonds.

 


 

He wakes with a start, body trembling. He feels sick and weak. His throat works as he slowly comes back to himself.

Beside him Gale is still sleeping, his eyelids moving beneath that thin skin. The dreams are getting worse now, more vivid. He still hasn’t breathed a word about them to anyone.

He knows this is normal. The support group says so. The other men—dead or alive—say so. Still, he feels like every waking moment is a hallucination. He slips out of bed and the coolness of the floor slides through him, soothing the raw, wet heat of his heart.

They went back to South Dakota after everything. Though John had relentlessly teased Gale about his home, there was something incredibly grounding about the rolling green hills just outside their window. He opens the door and steps onto the polished wood of their porch, sitting heavily on the steps while he attempts to blink away what’s left of his sleep.

The moon is still high but the sky is lighting up anyway, pushing it steadily out of view. Across from the gravel driveway of their cabin is a pack of bison, their large bodies swollen and slow. John has the irrational urge to get up and go lie down on one of their backs.

He thinks of how it would feel, alleviating the weight of carrying his own body without worrying about the end destination. It was just a steady journey with the consistent flex of muscle beneath his weary bones. His legs twitch as if to go, but they’re stopped by the heavy drop of a kiss on the back of his neck.

“Baby?” Gale asks, voice raspy with exhaustion.

“I didn’t mean to wake you, Buck,” John answers. “‘M sorry.”

“Always apologizing,” Gale murmurs. “‘S fine. You didn’t do anything. Just couldn’t feel you, baby. It felt wrong. My body without yours.”

That sends a flood of warmth down the river of John’s spine. It licks at the crease of his hips. Someone loves him enough to feel wrong without him.

They’re not married. He loves his husband.

He leans back and lifts his face to the early morning. His fingers clench. He can feel the confession building in his throat but what comes out surprises both of them.

“I think I want to stay home.”

“Hmm?” Gale says, not fully following.

“I know they offered the job to me. The Pentagon one. But—” He breaks off and Gale lets him figure it out, dragging his fingertips up and down John’s back as it ripples with his breathing.

“I don’t want it. I want to stay here.”

“Mmhmm,” is the unsurprised reply and John feels cut wide open. “And what are you going to do here, darling?”

John turns so that his face is tucked into the firm column of Gale’s neck, breathing him in. As he speaks his lips dust the skin there, sending Buck’s body shivering.

“Take care of you,” John says finally, immensely vulnerable. “I’m tired of moving, Buck. My body’s aching and I think that being in the middle of it will really fuck me up.”

“You wanna heal,” Gale says and John pulls away, his eyes glassy.

“‘M not a woman.”

“I never said you were,” Gale rebuttals, his voice leaving no room for argument. “Healing, not wanting to be sick—that has nothing to do with being a woman, Bucky. Wanting to take care of me changes nothing about you being a man.”

He tilts Bucky’s chin up so he can stare into those dark planets framed by flowering lashes.

“There is nothing effeminate about listening to yourself and choosing what’s best for you. Do you think I’m less of a man for breaking it off with Marge and choosing you?”

“What?” John blinks and straightens up, alarmed. “No. No, Buck, you know I’d never think that.”

“Then why is this different?”

There’s a weighted silence and the sun is beginning to clear the trees now, setting the world alight. Everything’s gold, even Gale’s sharp blue eyes.

“Because I want to do the whole thing,” John tells him quietly. “I want to keep the house for you and cook meals. I want a damn garden and cows ‘cause we can’t have kids.”

“But when I’m looking at you, I just see a man. My man.” Gale’s hands tighten on the bridge of John’s thighs. “Do you disagree?”

John looks away and then,

“No suh.”

Gale smiles at the slip of his informal English.

“And even if you did feel a little like a woman, what’s that got to do with my love?”

The phrase sends John’s head flying back in his direction, their eyes locking. Gale keeps his gaze steady, leaving space for him to tell him about what he already knows.

“Come to bed, baby. We have so much time now.”

“Yessuh,” John pushes out, no longer interested in falling asleep.

He can tell that Gale has observed the change in his body language and the air seems to buzz. John slowly shifts so that he’s on his knees, his legs spread so that his thighs are wide and he’s gazing up like a devotee.

“Mmm,” Gale says, his eyebrow-raising. “You really want to serve me.”

Bucky nods, uncaring of his desperation. He needs it. He needs Gale’s thick, heavy cock in his mouth even if it’s just to keep it warm. They both are aware of the fact that they’re outside, but it’s six am on a Saturday. Anyone who sees is at fault for being curious this early in the morning.

A thumb comes to press at his bottom lip, Bucky sighing softly so that it can pop into the wet cavern of his mouth.

“You wanna cream on me, darling?” Gale asks and John closes his eyes, submitting to the haze in his head.

“Yessuh,” he gets out and Gale laughs.

The motions of sliding his sleep pants down are fluid and well-practiced, and John shuffles forward so that he can settle his hands on Gale’s thighs. The hair there is fine and golden, and Bucky mouths at the tensed muscle.

“Get a move on.”

John smiles at the thinly-veiled urgency in Buck’s voice and exhales through his nose with amusement, adjusting his head so that he can lap lazily at the outline of Gale’s cock.

Fuck, John.”

Bucky trembles with the desire to make him feel good, bringing a hand up to slide those grey boxers down. Gale’s cock pops out, the tip weeping and pink, and Bucky feels his throat tighten. He wastes no time and takes Gale down to the root, eager to punish himself.

Choking just slightly, he looks up at Buck for guidance. Gale’s eyes soften and he reaches a calloused hand down to pop open Bucky’s jaw, always understanding. No one knew him as this man knew him.

Gale rocks lazily back and forth, building a rhythm that’s more about his pleasure than the man’s before him.

“C’mon, honey. You can take it,” he mutters, moving a little faster.

John knows he looks ruined: eyes glassy, lashes covered in crystalline tears, and mouth dripping with spit. His throat burns and he can hear how wet he is around Gale’s cock. He lets him take his mouth as roughly as he wants, bracing himself against his thighs. He ruts against the wood of the porch to stimulate himself, whimpering and moaning like a well-paid whore.

Gale treats him like there’s no love when he holds him. He’s gonna cum.

He slips off with a wet schleck and dips lower to take one of Gale’s balls into his mouth, nose tucked close so that he can smell the musk of him. He rolls it around his mouth and grazes his teeth gently, a hand working at the cock he’s neglecting.

Goddamn, sweetheart. Lick at me just like that. So good f’me.”

The words arc through him. All John wants is Buck’s approval. He’s always wanted to be good for him.

He thinks of their conversation earlier, of how he emphasized his lack of femininity. He had a brief vision of how’d he look if he was a girl, his eyes just as wet but smeared with black mascara and his lips slathered with ruined lip tint.

Tears under my makeup, he thinks.

“I’m gonna shoot, baby.”

John blinks back into the present.

“Where do you want it?”

Bucky doesn’t answer for a minute, still coming back to himself. That same firm hand squeezes his cheeks, hard. His lips pout out and Gale slaps at them with the head of his cock, face perfectly disinterested.

“I’m not gonna ask again.”

John smiles and he knows he looks like a fucking fool, but he doesn’t care.

“Wanna swallow you. Want you down my throat.”

“Good girl,” Gale says, cautious but gazing knowingly into those dark eyes.

Bucky gasps and Gale uses that to slot himself back in, balls slapping at those pink swollen lips.

“What a pretty fucking face,” Buck says, voice low and invitingly deep.

Please,” Bucky says past the cock in his mouth, his throat aching. “Buck, please.”

“I’m gonna give it to you,” Gale assures him, a hand around his throat. “It’s coming, honey.”

All he gets is a soft groan of ‘Jesus’ before bitter warmth is pouring into his mouth. His hips work to ride out his own orgasm, coming untouched.

Gale pulls out gently and bends to pull him into his arms, knees bending so that he doesn’t strain his back as he carries him.

“Love you,” John mumbles, feeling like his heart is smeared all over his face.

“Love you more, baby.” Gale shifts so that he can kiss him all over his face. “Got you beat there.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I need someone safe and consistent.

Yourself.

Notes:

thank you so so much for reading. please feel free to leave comments, i respond to every single one i get.

love you.

this fic has been converted for free using aoyeet.