Chapter Text
“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”
―Friedrich Nietzsche
“Remember, Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”
—Stephen King
Mike Hanlon. Searching for the Truth. Never Give Up.
1
Mike sits in his room, the stale heat of Derry’s summer air making sweat stick uncomfortably to his skin. The sun has barely risen above the horizon, but the day is already sweltering. It’s gonna be a scorcher, Mike thinks.
Mike and Leroy recently finished the final touches on a new desk to replace Mike’s old one, but the red oak has already disappeared beneath a mountain of newspapers, books, and handwritten notes. Still, Mike knows exactly where everything is. He spends no time rifling through papers to uncover what he wants. He tucks a piece of paper into his pocket: a list of questions he’d written out the night before.
A calendar hangs behind Mike’s bed, with wilted corners and pages bloated from humidity. Mike’s neat block handwriting fills each square, denoting interviews, work deliveries, and the occasional birthday. He checks the date out of habit, but Mike knows which day of the month it is all too well.
Mike’s close friend Bill Denbrough has been missing for three years. It’s hardly an anniversary, but the day is important because it reminds Mike of his mission and gives him a reason to keep pushing forward. Mike knows that Bill is still alive. He doesn’t know how he knows—but he knows. And if Mike’s father taught him anything, it’s to trust his gut.
The Hanlon family are no strangers to the burden of injustice, and there’s something about being a part of a subjugated history that makes you more aware of your surroundings. Sharper. Shrewder. Especially when you live in a corrupt town. And Leroy told Mike when he was only seven years old: This is an evil fucking town, boy. There ain’t nothing wrong with keeping your eyes straight ahead, but don’t you ever forget to watch your six.
Mike never doubted his grandfather, but that didn’t keep him from praying that nothing would happen to his friends when he got wind of another disappearance. But as sure as night follows day, the thing he feared most came to be. One of the Losers went missing.
There are gaps in Mike’s memory—holes that don’t belong in his ability to recall information. He’ll snatch at fleeting memories like a drowning sailor reaching for a lifeline, but he never quite makes contact. Mike had visited the doctor shortly after Bill vanished, but he walked out of the clinic with a clean bill of health. No dissociative amnesia or neurological disorders, not even a disturbance. Yet, Mike is sure that there’s something of great importance he can’t remember. It’s as if he can’t cast his mind back far enough to recall its magnificence.
But Mike does remember how each of his and Bill’s friends started to leave Derry with Godspeed following Bill’s disappearance. It was an unusual occurrence, almost as if something was driving them out of town. Hit the road, Jack, and don’t ya come back no more! Mike doesn’t believe that’s pure coincidence, and he’ll pull out all the stops to find the truth if that’s what it takes.
A scribbled note is etched next to today’s date, but Mike ignores it. He’s been waiting for this day for too long to forget what’s on the agenda. He moves away from his childhood bed and walks over to an antique armoire that once belonged to his mother. The doors groan as he pulls them apart, sounding ominous in the otherwise quiet of the room. Mike chooses a clean dress shirt and leaves the wardrobe open. By the time he returns home, he’ll want another change of clothes.
Mike doesn’t make a habit out of dressing up. Growing up on a farm teaches you that disaster can strike at any moment, and you best be ready for it when it does. Since once ruining his good church pants and facing his mother’s wrath, Mike has always dressed for the job. But Mike has an important interview today. He’s spent many hours interviewing Derry’s residents, and while some have offered more information than others, Mike thinks this respondent might finally give him some traction on Bill’s case.
In just shy of an hour, Mike will meet the man who saved his father from the fire at the Black Spot. Mr. Dick Hallorann. Mike has reminded himself to keep his head up, and if this discussion meets another dead end, not to be disappointed. He’ll go back to the drawing board and accept the part-time position at the Derry library. Books have proven surprisingly helpful in these types of situations. Ben had taught him that.
Christ, Mike misses his friends. But someone needs to crack this case, and the only thing Derry police know how to crack is nuts. Mike knows that despite this, he needs to be careful. Leroy can be a bit old-fashioned in his thinking, but Mike has experienced enough harassment simply for the color of his skin to disregard his grandfather’s words of caution. Some folks in Derry don’t care how good your intentions are, son. You having brown skin is all the reason they need to suspect you of bein’ up to no good.
2
Mike thinks of Henry Bowers as he goes outside and into the sun’s blistering heat. Henry had been one crazy son of a gun, the nastiest piece of work he’d ever met. But Mike doesn’t believe for a second that Henry is the one who murdered the missing kids.
Mike shields his eyes and looks up into the sky, squinting. Several turkey vultures circle the outskirts of the field, looking for prey. Mike pities whatever creature is on the menu for today. As Mike stares at the horizon, the world seems to stretch on forever. It’s almost intimidating, daunting, reminding Mike of all the things he has yet to explore—and all the places he never will. Suddenly, Mike feels the overwhelming weight of responsibility on his shoulders. It’s as if he’s sinking, drowning in the what-ifs and have-nots, wondering if this is all for naught. Then, a strange cloud in the shape of a turtle catches his eye, and Mike feels like everything will be all right.
Mike is still determining where Bill is, and he has no way of knowing his condition, but one thing he knows for certain. Mike will only stop looking once he finds him.