Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Do you want another drink, babe?”

“Yes, please,” Jeonghan replies to his boyfriend. Joshua kisses his temple before standing up from the booth their group is at. The club is dimly lit with loud music that can be heard from every corner of the building.

“Does anyone else want another?” Joshua directs his question to their friends. A few respond as Seungcheol starts chugging the last of his drink.

“Me!” Seungcheol exclaims after he slams his glass on the table, startling poor Soonyoung who was dozing off next to him. They had only been there for thirty minutes and yet Soonyoung had already managed to get himself wasted.

Jeonghan rolls his eyes and scoffs at the obnoxious behavior. Though he knew Seungcheol had already been looking at him, waiting for his reaction. He must be delighted to see he got what he wanted. Bastard.

“Got something to say, princess?” Seungcheol grins, condescension written all over his face. Jeonghan immediately narrows his eyes and briefly scrunches his nose, further entertaining the man sitting across from him.

“Maybe you should cut down on the drinking. A drunk asshole’s not a good look on you,” Jeonghan retorts.

Before Seungcheol can reply, Joshua cuts him off.

“Okayyyyyy, I’m gonna be right back.”

“Yah! Joshua! You’re gonna leave us with these two maniacs?” Mingyu says in exasperation and points back and forth between the “maniacs” in question. Joshua’s already rushing away, preventing himself from hearing any more of Mingyu’s complaints.

Sitting in their booth were Mingyu, Soonyoung, Chan, Minghao, and of course the aforementioned trio. Joshua and Jeonghan have been in a relationship for six months now, which means that Jeonghan has officially joined their group outings (and sometimes he will invite his own friends to come along). They’ve all warmed up to Jeonghan at this point…except for Joshua’s closest friend, Seungcheol. Right from the get-go when Joshua first introduced his new boyfriend to him, there was this tension between them. They pretended to play nice for a month until everything unraveled and they started openly expressing their distaste for each other.

When Joshua has asked, Jeonghan can’t ever offer a legitimate explanation as to why he hates the other. He figures it’s the same with Seungcheol. Only being able to boil it down to “I just don’t like him.”

Jeonghan knows that it must make Joshua pretty upset that the most important people to him don’t get along, but his boyfriend has somewhat gotten over it as time progresses. Or at least he’s tried to since it doesn’t seem like they’ll reconcile whatever they have going on anytime soon.

After Joshua comes back with their drinks, they finish them off as fast as they can so that they can get on the dance floor. Seungcheol and Jeonghan don’t share another word. Everyone splits off pretty fast once they feel intoxicated enough.

Jeonghan likes to observe. Still not able to completely let his guard down around them.

He sees Chan and Soonyoung hanging back at the bar. They always use each other as wingmen to pick up girls. They’re usually pretty successful but it’s mostly because they’re both hot and not because they’re particularly good at flirting, nor especially charming when they’re drunk off their asses.

Minghao and Mingyu are lazily grinding up against each other. Not so much for their own pleasure but more so to gain the attention of someone around them. Recently, Mingyu has been hooking up with some of Jeonghan’s friends so he’s been pretty sexually satisfied. For that reason, he’s not necessarily looking for someone to go home with tonight. As any good friend would, he’s just helping Minghao with piquing someone’s interest. Because everyone loves watching pretty men feel each other up, right?

Seungcheol was surveying the crowd from the side. This is how it always went for him. He’d start off by seeing if any girls caught his eye and then make his move. He likes being the one to approach them as it gives him a sense of power.

Jeonghan knows this very well.

He also knows when Seungcheol’s intense gaze falls on him.

The hairs on the back of Jeonghan’s neck stand up, but he keeps his cool. He continues as he is. Seungcheol can watch all he wants.

Joshua’s got his chest pressed to Jeonghan’s back, intimately close in the middle of a bunch of sweaty bodies. Jeonghan’s rolling his hips back into Joshua’s and guiding his hands to feel up his torso. Jeonghan’s wearing a sheer, white button-up that’s tucked into his tight jeans. Throughout the night, fewer and fewer buttons are actually fastened. Anyone could look at him and easily see his pale chest and pink nipples on full display. The club lights are reflecting off his skin, glistening in sweat from dancing. Jeonghan’s long, black hair is also a bit sweaty. He runs his hand through it to get it out of his face, though his sensual movements make it fall back around his face.

Joshua seems stiff, clearly showing signs of embarrassment in his face and body language. Jeonghan knows he can get a little shy in situations like this. His boyfriend’s just pliantly letting him maneuver his hands up and down his body. Yet Jeonghan pays him no mind and continues moving along to the rhythm of the loud club music.

Jeonghan gets a bit daring and locks eyes with Seungcheol. The music seems relatively drowned out now. They both hold eye contact, neither of them looking away. Their gazes are burning into each other. There’s something unspoken in their eyes every time they meet. It’s almost suffocating.

Jeonghan decides to be the one to break eye contact when he detaches his hand from Joshua’s to instead put it in his boyfriend’s hair. He leans back onto the broad shoulder and tilts his head up towards Joshua’s. Jeonghan throws one last glance at Seungcheol before tugging his boyfriend’s head down by his hair and smashing their lips together. The force with which Jeonghan uses sparks the kiss to become very passionate and tongue-heavy, Joshua instantly melting into it.

Before it can get any more heated, they part with a string of saliva connecting their lips. Joshua watches Jeonghan turn his head forward, following his gaze to find Seungcheol turning over his shoulder and walking off somewhere.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan have been sharing heated glances the whole night. Even from across the dance floor. It’s not unusual considering their feelings of disdain for each other, so their friends don"t think of it as anything more than that. Petty hatred.

“Are you okay, baby?”

Jeonghan gets snapped back into reality at the sound of a familiar voice, bringing his attention back to the man up against him.

“Yeah, sorry, I just zoned out for a second there. I think I’m a little sleepy.” Jeonghan leans his head back against Joshua’s shoulder, stretching his body out in an arch.

Joshua snuggly wraps his arms around his small waist. “Do you wanna get out of here soon?” He presses his lips against Jeonghan’s neck, letting them rest there. The man in question hums in response. “I think Seungcheol’s leaving soon too. I just saw him head off somewhere but he wasn’t with a girl. Surprisingly.” Joshua chuckles and then smiles down at Jeonghan. “I’ll go pay our tab and say goodbye to my friends. Then we can head back to mine, okay?”

Jeonghan smiles back at him “Okay. I’m gonna go to the bathroom first though. I’ll meet you at the front.”

“Sure thing.” Joshua cups Jeonghan’s cheek and kisses him before they go their separate ways.

There are two unisex bathrooms in the club they’re at. One is near the bar that everyone uses, and the other is behind the DJ’s stage that only regulars know about. Jeonghan heads to the latter since it provides the most privacy.

When he walks in, he takes a second to see if any of the stalls are occupied. Once the door closes, the outside music is almost completely drowned out. There are four stalls in the bathroom and Jeonghan can see that the one farthest away from the door has someone inside. Jeonghan goes into the stall next to them.

Jeonghan pulls out his phone from his pocket and uses the camera to check his appearance. He pulls out a tube of lip gloss and reapplies it before smacking his lips together and ruffling his hair a bit. The person in the stall next to him opens the door and walks over to start washing their hands. Jeonghan unbuttons another button on his shirt, revealing more skin, before also walking out of the stall.

There stands Seungcheol at the sink washing his hands. They make eye contact in the mirror and Jeonghan gets stuck in place for a second.

“Looking for someone?” Seungcheol smirks at him in the mirror.

Jeonghan flushes red. “No,” he sneers.

Jeonghan calmly walks up to the sink next to him and starts washing his own hands. They stand there in silence, the only noise that can be heard is running water and the faint sound of music. Seungcheol turns the sink off and after he dries his hands, he returns to the mirror to fix his hair.

Jeonghan turns the sink off and goes to dry his hands too. He finds himself moving at a snail"s pace, waiting in anticipation for something to happen. After he very delicately and precisely pats his hands down with a paper towel, he moves to dispose of it in the trash can when he gets pulled back by his wrist. The force of it causes him to drop the crumpled paper towel and fall back against a sturdy chest. Jeonghan only gets a second to regain his balance before Seungcheol is dragging him back into the stall he was just occupying. Once inside, Seungcheol slams the door shut and locks it.

Jeonghan isn’t even able to say anything because he gets pushed up against the stall wall with Seungcheol’s lips overpowering his. Seungcheol wraps a hand around Jeonghan’s neck and roughly shoves his tongue past his lips. Jeonghan feels his nerves light on fire from the constraint around his neck. He desperately claws at Seungcheol’s back and tries his best to reciprocate the kiss despite his lack of breath. Seungcheol gets spurred on by the little gasps and whines he’s making and pushes his knee between Jeonghan’s thighs, rubbing it up against the growing stiffness in his pants. Seungcheol pulls back from the kiss, watching Jeonghan moan and buck his hips down against his muscular thigh.

“Miss me, princess?” Seungcheol speaks in a gruff tone. He looks completely composed and not even a little bit sweaty despite being at a stuffy club for hours. Seungcheol tilts his head playfully, earrings clinking from the motion when Jeonghan looks up into his eyes. He loosens his grip around his neck to let him talk.

“Never,” Jeonghan pants. His blush is traveling from his face down to his neck and chest. The sheer, white button-up has shifted out of place, revealing his nipples and one of his shoulders. The cool bathroom air making his nipples hard.

Seungcheol uses the hand around his neck to tilt Jeonghan’s head to the side and leans in. “Aww, that’s a shame,” he whispers in his ear. Seungcheol begins to leave delicate kisses on his neck, listening to Jeonghan’s whimpers up close. “‘Cuz your dick says otherwise,” Seungcheol smirks against flushed skin and presses his knee up even harder.

He can probably feel the distinct bulge in Jeonghan’s pants, still desperately bucking against Seungcheol’s thigh for relief.

“Stop,” Jeonghan whines and turns his head to the side so that he won’t have to look at Seungcheol’s smug face. But Seungcheol uses his other hand to grip Jeonghan’s jaw and turn his head back to face him. Their eye contact is fiery, expressing things they can’t say out loud. Jeonghan can’t help but shiver from the hungry stare directed right at him. Seungcheol has this glint in his eyes that could bring him to his knees, but he resists. Jeonghan’s sticky lip gloss was smeared around his lips, as well as on Seungcheol’s.

“Are you sure you want that? I’ve known since I first saw you walk in what your plans were for tonight,” Seungcheol asserts and quickly swipes his tongue up his neck. Jeonghan gasps and grips Seungcheol’s wrist in reaction. “It was pretty obvious with the way you were looking at me,” Seungcheol snickers in a patronizing manner. He removes the hand that was on Jeonghan’s jaw and instead uses it to unbutton his own jeans.

“You don’t even try hiding your arrogance.” Jeonghan tries his best to sound unaffected. Though it’s all for naught when he sees Seungcheol pull his half hard dick out of his pants and gets visibly eager. Seungcheol laughs and tightens his grip on Jeonghan’s neck.

“Why would I bother when I have you in my control like this?” Seungcheol starts slowly stroking himself. “Now touch me.”

Jeonghan doesn’t need to be told twice. Even though he hates seeing Seungcheol get what he wants, Jeonghan wants to get fucked as soon as possible. He just needs to get Seungcheol hard enough to finally feel him inside.

Jeonghan starts stroking his hand up and down. He takes delight in watching Seungcheol’s body relax at the pleasurable sensation. Seungcheol removes his hand from Jeonghan’s neck and uses it to start flicking one of his nipples. Seungcheol leans down and sucks on the other one, making Jeonghan’s strokes falter.

“Keep going,” Seungcheol grunts around his nipple.

Jeonghan tries his best to continue his hand movements but it"s becoming too dry in his hands.

Seungcheol detaches his mouth from the reddening chest. “Can you make it wetter?”

“Give me the lube then,” Jeonghan says, stopping his hand movements.

“I didn’t bring any lube. Use your spit,” Seungcheol remarks and goes back to attacking Jeonghan’s chest with his tongue. Seungcheol likes how messy Jeonghan gets when he has to use saliva for an easier slide.

Seungcheol also likes how much Jeonghan hates getting messy.

Jeonghan starts whimpering from pleasure but comes to his senses and pulls Seungcheol’s head away from his body. “No lube?! How’re we gonna do this then?” he exclaims.

“Hey, hey, calm down. It wouldn’t be the first time we’ve gotten by without it,” Seungcheol leers as he very lightly drags his fingers down Jeonghan’s torso. And he’s right. Sometimes desires are so strong and hasty that it’s impossible to plan accordingly.

Jeonghan scowls and doesn’t respond. He’s embarrassed but reasons with himself to just deal with it. He gathers as much spit as he can before letting it drip on his hand and fingers. Jeonghan cringes from the dirty feeling but keeps going until his hand is wet enough. Some saliva slides down his mouth onto his chin, so Seungcheol licks it off and then pushes his tongue into Jeonghan’s mouth, feeding it back to him. They both moan from the indecency of their actions.

Jeonghan starts stroking Seungcheol’s dick again, except now the slide is much better. Seungcheol parts from the kiss so that he can groan from the feeling. He just barely thrusts up into his hand.

“You’re so messy, aren’t you, slut? Drooling all over yourself just to get me off. How nice of you,” Seungcheol says as he brushes some of Jeonghan’s hair out of his face. Jeonghan hardens even more at the name but refuses to respond because of the humiliation he feels.

He sees Seungcheol get entranced by the visual of Jeonghan’s fingers around his cock. Though he must feel close because he then slaps Jeonghan’s hand away and forces him to turn around before slamming his front into the wall, Jeonghan’s hands bracing against it.

“That’s enough,” Seungcheol growls in his ear.

Seungcheol undoes Jeonghan’s pants before pulling them down to his knees. Jeonghan obediently lets him, he’s too turned on to be difficult at this point. There’s some rustling behind him so he looks back to see Seungcheol pulling a small packet of lube and a condom out of his pocket.

“You do have lube, you asshole!” Jeonghan accuses. Seungcheol fucking tricked him.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Seungcheol shrugs and smiles snarkily at a disgruntled Jeonghan.

He can only scoff in response. “Whatever. Just make it quick this time,” Jeonghan says and turns his head back to face the wall.

“Who are you to boss me around when you’ve been begging for me the whole night?” Seungcheol lubes up his fingers and immediately pushes three into Jeonghan’s clenching hole.

He knows that he’d stretched himself out beforehand, confirming it when Jeonghan opens up so easily for him, arching his back from the feeling of finally having something inside him. He grinds back against the thick fingers, hoping for them to touch his prostate. But he should know by now that Seungcheol only gives him what he wants at the very end. Definitely a bastard.

When Jeonghan is open enough, Seungcheol finally slides the condom on and lubes himself up. He doesn’t even give a warning when he slips inside, Jeonghan immediately welcoming him inside his tight heat. Jeonghan moans out, high pitched and broken. Seungcheol bites down on Jeonghan’s shoulder to mask his groan as best as possible. It causes Jeonghan to cry out even louder.

Seungcheol grabs onto Jeonghan’s hands that were pressed against the wall and pulls them behind his back. He lays one wrist over the other and holds them down against Jeonghan’s lower back with one hand. Seungcheol starts rapidly thrusting as fast as he can, pulling Jeonghan down onto his dick from the grip he has on his wrists.

Jeonghan lets out a little gasp at each thrust. And he’s so tight around Seungcheol’s dick that he can just barely hear Seungcheol moan out as well. He can’t help it though because Seungcheol is aiming directly for his prostate now. The stimulation and stretch of his hole are making Jeonghan get teary eyed. His cheek is pressed against the wall but Seungcheol sneaks his hand under his chin and thrusts four fingers in his mouth to shut him up. With the grip he has on Jeonghan’s lower jaw, Seungcheol pulls him back by the head so that he’s draped against Seungcheol’s chest.

“I know I’m making you feel good but can you shut up? You don’t want anyone else to know how much of a whore you are for my cock, do you? Or maybe you would because you like being exposed to anyone that will give you a glance. Isn’t that right?” Seungcheol whispers hotly in Jeonghan’s ear, inducing goosebumps to form on his skin.

Seungcheol licks away the sweat that’s sliding down the back of his neck. Jeonghan hasn’t been able to touch his poor dick once, miserably straining between his thighs.

“Answer me, slut,” Seungcheol grunts and removes his fingers from Jeonghan’s mouth.

“Ye– ahhh, y-yes yes, yesss. I like it so–hngg so so much,” Jeonghan cries. He no longer has control over his body or his words. He can only just stand there and take what Seungcheol gives him. Jeonghan feels Seungcheol smirk against his neck.

“That’s why you were basically half naked out on the dance floor, right? For attention. I know you did that just for me though. Wanted me to see your pretty chest. Wanted me to see you grinding against him.”

Jeonghan clenches down at the mention of “him.” Always nameless when they play like this.

“He can’t handle your whore self, can he? He must be ashamed to have such a slut for a boyfriend, always demanding the attention of everyone around you. That’s how you rope in everyone, isn"t it?” Seungcheol chuckles and continues on. “Worked on me and I’m supposed to be straight. Men can’t help but view you as a sex object, but that’s how you like it, right slut?” Seungcheol slides one hand down Jeonghan’s chest and grabs onto his neglected dick.

Jeonghan full on cries, tears rolling down his cheeks and neck. He can’t even do anything to wipe the tears away, hands still being held down behind his back. He’s completely at Seungcheol’s mercy right now, and he’s so close.

“I–I’m gonna come. Please please please,” Jeonghan croaks through his sobs.

“Just a little bit more. Don’t fucking think about coming without my permission,” Seungcheol rasps, clearly very close too. He speeds up his thrusts and his strokes on Jeonghan’s cock.

It’s only a short while until Seungcheol’s thrusts start faltering.

“Come,” Seungcheol whispers.

Jeonghan wails and shakes as he reaches his peak. His cum spurts out onto the stall wall and drips down his dick. He goes completely limp in Seungcheol’s arms as he continues jacking Jeonghan off through his orgasm. Seungcheol almost instantly follows suit when he feels Jeonghan clench around him. He comes into the condom, riding out his orgasm with Jeonghan’s noises directly in his ear.

They spend a few minutes recollecting themselves. Seungcheol puts the used condom in the little box where feminine products go while Jeonghan is cleaning his cum up with toilet paper.

“Did you get a new perfume?” Seungcheol suddenly asks.

“What? Uh, yeah?” Jeonghan speaks in an unsure tone, confused by the random question.

“Smells nice. I like it.” Seungcheol nods as he pulls his pants up.

“You are so weird,” Jeonghan sighs and opens the stall door. They both walk out but stop in their tracks when they see their messy reflections in the large bathroom mirror. Seungcheol starts laughing first and then Jeonghan joins in. When they finally compose themselves, they both walk over to the mirror to fix themselves up.

Seungcheol finishes pretty fast but decides to jump up on the sink counter to take a seat, and pulls out his phone.

“Thank god no one walked in,” Jeonghan speaks up while trying to fix his smudged eye makeup.

“Oh. Someone did walk in,” Seungcheol says while casually scrolling on his phone.

“What?!”

“Yeah, but I guess you were too dick-notized to notice. It’s okay though. I think they walked out right after they heard you crying for me,” Seungcheol laughs playfully.

“I was not crying,” Jeonghan insists.

“Oh yeah, wanna bet? Should I film us next time and show you?”

“There won’t be a next time.” Jeonghan shakes his head and begins buttoning his shirt up.

“Yeah, okay. Like I haven’t heard that before.” Seungcheol slides off the sink counter.

“I mean it.” Jeonghan looks him directly in the eyes.

“Then why do you always come with your ass fully prepped?” He challenges.

“Goodbye, Seungcheol.” Jeonghan turns away towards the door.

“Bye, Jeonghannie.” Seungcheol waves even though Jeonghan’s not looking at him.

“Don’t act familiar with me,” Jeonghan sneers and turns his head back.

“Oh, my apologies, Jeonghan-ssi.”

Jeonghan finally walks out of the bathroom, leaving Seungcheol by himself. He searches through the club for Joshua and finds him talking to Mingyu at the booth that the group was previously using. Joshua’s eyes keep searching the crowd, clearly looking for him. When their eyes finally meet, Joshua lights up and says goodbye to Mingyu before walking over to him. He greets Jeonghan with a kiss and grabs his hand.

“Sorry for taking so long. I couldn’t find you and then I got caught up talking with Mingyu” Joshua apologizes.

Jeonghan feels his heartstrings get tugged on by guilt. “It’s okay. The line to the bathroom was really long. Let’s go now.” Jeonghan smiles and tugs him towards the door.

“Okay, baby. I didn’t get to say bye to Seungcheol but I’ll see him soon so it’s okay.” Joshua walks with him to the entrance.

“Aw, that’s a shame,” Jeonghan sighs.

***

“Can you not look at my ice cream like that?”

Jeonghan gets snapped out of his daydream. He finds Seokmin looking at him with a disturbed look in his eye as if fearing Jeonghan will take his ice cream from him. They’re sitting on Jeonghan’s couch at his apartment. It’s a few days after he went to the club with Joshua and his friends.

“Okay, there’s no need to overreact.” Jeonghan waves off his best friend"s suspicion towards him.

“Just being safe. I know how greedy you are,” Seokmin giggles and eats another spoonful. Jeonghan just shoots him a glare.

“Like you’re one to talk. What were you up to last night?” Jeonghan raises his eyebrow, observing the hickeys on Seokmin’s neck. Seokmin beams and reaches a hand up to brush against the dark blemishes, as if recounting the events that led to them making an appearance on his neck.

“Mingyu came over again. Ughhhh, we really like him, hyung,” Seokmin pouts and slouches in his seat. The “we” he’s referring to is him and his boyfriend, Wonwoo, who also happens to be Jeonghan’s other best friend. Seokmin and Wonwoo are in an open relationship and Joshua’s friend, Mingyu, seems to have wedged his way into both of their hearts.

Seokmin and Wonwoo have lived together for two years now, and have been a couple for even longer. Though it wasn’t until last year that they decided to change to an open relationship. They trust and love each other more than anything so they were both more than okay with it. They’ve agreed to not bring any of their flings into their home, but Mingyu seems to be an exception.

They first met when Jeonghan and Joshua decided to introduce all of their friends to each other. The couple instantly took a liking to him which Mingyu very much reciprocated. Sometimes he’ll hook up with just Wonwoo, other times with just Seokmin, but they mostly spend intimate moments with all three of them together.

“Well, what’s stopping you guys from telling him you want more from him?” Jeonghan inquires. When Seokmin and Wonwoo first told their little friend group about their open relationship, Jeonghan was worried. But he’s learned over time that it’s made them much happier and their relationship a lot stronger.

“Sometimes we feel like he isn’t into the whole polyamory thing,” Seokmin frowns, looking genuinely distressed.

“I think he just needs more time. It’s probably hard for him to get used to it, but he’ll come around. I can tell he likes you guys a lot.” Jeonghan tries his best to give reassurance to his best friend.

“Thanks, Jeonghan hyung.” Seokmin reaches over to pull Jeonghan into a quick hug. “How’re you and Joshua?”

Jeonghan instantly freezes at the question. “Uhh, we’re good, I–I guess,” he stutters. Seokmin side eyes him.

“You fucked Seungcheol again, didn’t you?” Seokmin shakes his head after he says it, disappointed in his friend. Jeonghan doesn’t even have to respond to know he’s right, very clearly seeing the guilt written all over his face.

“Okay, I know you’re mad at me, but…he was getting on my nerves again! And then all of a sudden I was following him into the bathroom.” Jeonghan’s face heats up, ashamed.

“God, you’re such a masochist. All he has to do is get under your skin just a bit and then you’re on your knees. If Joshua isn’t enough for you then just break up with him. You don’t need to keep putting yourself in this situation.” Seokmin tries to talk some sense into Jeonghan, even though he knows he’s way in over his head.

The first time Jeonghan told Seokmin that he cheated on his boyfriend, he was absolutely appalled. And not just with anyone, but with Joshua’s best friend of several years. Like they even have a copy of each other’s house keys! And since Joshua was the first actually good guy Jeonghan had ever been with, Seokmin was doubly surprised to find out he’d ruin it so fast. Precisely because the last guy he had a thing with left him high and dry. Jeonghan was crushed when he left him for a woman and insisted that he wasn’t into men. Jeonghan wouldn’t even tell them who it was because the guy wanted to keep them a secret. So Seokmin thought that he would really try and make his relationship with Joshua last. But they had only been a month in before Jeonghan hooked up with Seungcheol, which has continued on until now. Though they usually space it out quite a bit, like once every month and a half when Jeonghan feels especially down on himself. But the last time they fucked was only two weeks ago, a new record for them. Out of their small friend group of themselves, Wonwoo, and Seungkwan, Seokmin is the only one who knows what’s going on.

“But I feel bad for letting something like sex make me grow apart from him.” Jeonghan hides his face in his hands, eyes starting to water.

“Joshua’s a great guy but you don’t have to force yourself to be satisfied with him. I know he’s the first one to truly care about you, but he deserves the same respect, don’t you think? Sex may not be important to him but it’s important to you and that’s completely okay. But you need to be fair to each other,” Seokmin says as softly as he can while affectionately rubbing his back.

“But I’m scared to be alone.”

“You’ll find someone.”

***

“Hey, Shua hyung! Buy us another round of drinks!” Chan raises his glass towards the taller man sitting across from him.

“I think you overestimate my paycheck, Chan-ah,” Joshua sighs, begetting everyone to laugh.

Their friends have gathered together once again but at a different club. And this time, Jeonghan’s friends have joined them. They’ve somehow managed to fit ten men inside a cramped club booth, but they’re making it work. Seokmin is sitting on Mingyu’s lap, who’s cuddling up against Wonwoo’s side. Smiles on all of their faces. Jeonghan feels warm by watching his friends be in such a free and happy relationship.

Jeonghan’s having a conversation with Seungkwan when he feels someone kick him under the table. He immediately darts his gaze over to Seungcheol, knowing that he must be the culprit. To his surprise, Seungcheol’s not even looking at him. And instead, Minghao, who’s sitting next to Seungcheol, coyly apologizes for accidentally kicking him. Jeonghan feels a little silly for jumping to conclusions like that. He’s just been really on edge as of late and he can’t seem to put into words why exactly. Jeonghan easily accepts the apology after realizing it wasn’t who he thought it was. Seungcheol looks over at him with concerned eyes that make Jeonghan’s heart seize just a twinge, but he refuses to look back at him.

The night continues on with the group drinking and talking. This time they seem more interested in hanging out than dancing. But they’ll probably filter onto the dance floor later on. Everyone is sharing fun conversations, but Jeonghan is starting to feel suffocated. A lot has been going on for him recently and he doesn’t really have the energy to be around so many people right now. But he doesn’t want to bring the mood down or worry Joshua and his friends.

“But can someone seriously get more drinks right now?” Chan raises his voice so that the whole table can hear him. Everyone agrees that they need more alcohol.

“I can go.” Jeonghan raises his hand, immediately jumping at the opportunity to get some space.

“The queue for drinks is really long right now though, hyung,” Wonwoo interjects.

“It’s fine. I’ll just wait at the bar,” Jeonghan waves him off.

“Are you sure? I’ll go with you,” Joshua volunteers, not wanting his boyfriend to go alone.

“No, it’s okay. I need to take a breather for a sec,” Jeonghan says, trying to give him a soothing smile.

“Okay, whatever you need, baby. I’ll keep my eyes on you though,” Joshua relents. He knows by now that Jeonghan needs to be alone sometimes.

“Thanks, babe.” Jeonghan gives him a kiss on the cheek before scooting over Seungkwan and heading towards the bar. He can finally breathe when he takes a seat on a barstool. One of the girls working there lets him know that she’ll be with him in fifteen minutes. Just enough time for him to gather his bearings.

He’s only sitting there on his phone for five minutes before someone sits directly next to him. The bartender tells them that she’ll be right with them soon.

“No, it’s okay. I’m with him,” the familiar voice speaks. Jeonghan refuses to even lift his head and look because he does not feel like talking to Seungcheol right now. Another minute of silence passes. “What? You’re not gonna thank me for accompanying you?”

“Thank you so much, Seungcheol,” Jeonghan says, completely monotone. Any other time he would have replied with something much snarkier, but he can’t garner the energy. Jeonghan still hasn’t looked up at him.

“Wow that’s probably the kindest you’ve been to me and you didn’t even mean it,” Seungcheol jests.

“You know that’s not true. Now leave me alone before I get you kicked out of here for harassing me.” Jeonghan finally looks at him but with a very displeased face.

“There’s the Jeonghan I know. But seriously, what’s up? Why"re you like this?”

“There’s no reason for me to tell you.” Jeonghan rolls his eyes.

“That may be true but there’s also no reason for you to not tell me,” Seungcheol says with humor in his voice, grinning like an idiot. Jeonghan just looks at him and pauses.

“I could think of a few.”

“Aww, come onnnnn. I just wanna know if you’re okay or not. You’ve been making weird faces tonight and it’s freaking me out.” Seungcheol raises his eyebrows and widens his eyes like he’s actually scared. Jeonghan can’t help but laugh at his stupidity. “Woah, was that a smile? For me? How generous!”

“Shut up. Why"re you even here?”

“To talk to you, obviously.”

“If I tell you, will you leave?” Jeonghan sighs.

“Hmmm, I’ll think about it.” Seungcheol taps his chin with his index finger. Jeonghan doesn’t look the least bit pleased with his little act. “Whaaaat? Can’t I be a little mysterious? Gotta keep you on your toes,” Seungcheol chuckles. Jeonghan laughs too but tries to conceal it.

“Whatever. I just feel like nothing in my life is the way I want it to be and it’s too late to fix it. And I feel like I’m drowning all alone.” Jeonghan loses the self-assurance he usually has in his voice. He’s always been quick to play along with Seungcheol’s games, but not this time.

“You’re not alone though. Why don’t you talk about this stuff with Joshua or your friends?”

“I just can’t bring myself to tell them sometimes. I would feel like a bother.”

“You’re telling me just fine though.”

“Well, you’re just Seungcheol.”

“Ouch,” Seungcheol inhales sharply.

Jeonghan scoffs at him. “Like you actually care what I think about you.” Jeonghan stares at him with a deadpan look.

“Why do you always just assume everything about the people around you?” Seungcheol says with furrowed eyebrows.

Before Jeonghan can ask what he means, they get interrupted by Joshua who wraps his arm around his shoulder.

“How’s it going, guys?” Joshua smiles at the both of them, clearly unaware of the moment they were just having.

“Fine.”

“Great.”

Jeonghan and Seungcheol speak at the same time. Joshua chuckles.

“I’m happy to see you two getting along.” Joshua pulls Jeonghan close to his side, seeming genuinely delighted at the sight of them treating each other nicely. “I have to go help Soonyoung catch a taxi home. He drank too much. Take care of Jeonghan while I’m gone, Seungcheol-ah.” Joshua pats Seungcheol on the back before he leaves.

“Sure,” Seungcheol sorely smiles at his best friend.

They don’t speak for a while once Joshua leaves. The mood from their earlier conversation has left, and they sit next to each other in silence.

“Do you wanna hook up?”

Seungcheol looks caught off guard from Jeonghan’s proposition but easily pulls himself together. “Okay.”

Jeonghan gets up and Seungcheol follows behind him. He must be surprised because they just fucked last week in that club’s bathroom, but he also doesn’t seem very opposed. They end up in a spacious storage closet that"s close to the back exit. There’s a lot of clutter in there and the light is pretty dim but they make it work.

As soon as Seungcheol shuts the door behind them, Jeonghan is pulling him into a hungry kiss. Usually, Seungcheol is the one to start things off but he lets Jeonghan take the lead. Well, for now at least. Jeonghan is pushing off the black denim jacket Seungcheol was wearing and tosses it on the ground.

“Hey, that was expensive,” Seungcheol parts from the kiss to chastise him.

“You can afford it,” Jeonghan pants and pulls Seungcheol by his hair back onto his lips. Seungcheol comfortably falls back into the kiss and reaches his hands around to grope Jeonghan’s ass. He moans and slides his hands under Seungcheol’s shirt to touch his abs, feeling him flex under Jeonghan’s hands. They’re typically not all touchy quite like this, the both of them prefer to just get to the good part and fuck. But they’re still enjoying themselves nonetheless.

Seungcheol begins unbuttoning Jeonghan’s tight blouse while mouthing at his collarbones. Jeonghan knows that Seungcheol’s always had a thing for his neck and collarbones. Once his top is halfway open, Seungcheol unfastens Jeonghan’s pants. He shoves his hands underneath his pants and underwear and starts rubbing over Jeonghan’s dry hole.

Jeonghan is about to tell him that he didn’t stretch out his ass this time but gets interrupted.

“I wanna eat you out.”

“What?” Jeonghan gasps. “You’ve never wanted to before.” And it’s true, Seungcheol has never performed any sort of oral sex on him. He would only touch him down there with his hands and dick. Jeonghan knows that Seungcheol’s never done that stuff with a guy before, so he’s never expected it from him. No matter how much Jeonghan hates him, he’d never pressure Seungcheol to do something he wasn’t comfortable with.

“Well now I do, so do you want me to or not?” Seungcheol says matter of factly, looking into Jeonghan’s eyes.

“Yes, please,” Jeonghan whimpers and nods. He bends over a cabinet, naked ass out in the open. Seungcheol gets on his knees and starts fondling Jeonghan’s ass, just taking the sight in. Jeonghan begins to feel embarrassed so he shakes his ass, trying to get Seungcheol to do something. “We don’t have a lot of ti–ahhhhh, Seungcheol.”

Seungcheol licks a stripe directly over Jeonghan’s now twitching hole, successfully cutting him off in his nagging. Jeonghan’s grip on the metal cabinet tightens when Seungcheol starts sucking on his rim. The large hands gripping onto his ass cheeks spread him open so that Seungcheol can get deeper. Jeonghan is freely letting his moans and whines out into the open, knowing that it’s unlikely for someone to pass by the door. But it’s not like the threat of being heard has stopped him from being loud before.

“Ahhhhh– Seungcheol, so good. So so good. Keep going keep going. Pleaseeee,” he moans.

Seungcheol licks into his hole, trying to thrust his tongue as deep as he can. Jeonghan can feel Seungcheol’s drool slide down his perineum and onto his balls. Jeonghan reaches his hand back and grips onto Seungcheol’s hair, trying to push his face into his ass as best he can. Seungcheol doesn’t fight it and keeps licking and sucking, driven to please by Jeonghan’s needy noises.

Seungcheol’s surprisingly skillful at this but, honestly, it’s not very surprising to Jeonghan considering this man makes him feel like he’s gonna pass out every time they rendezvous like this. Speaking of which, it’s weird not having Seungcheol’s voice in his ear, degrading him. Jeonghan truthfully likes when he’s spoken to like that, so he supposes that’s the only downside to Seungcheol giving him oral.

Jeonghan pulls on Seungcheol’s hair, causing him to groan directly into his hole. Jeonghan lets his head hang limply from the pleasurable vibration. His untouched dick occasionally brushes against the cold metal, making him flinch.

“I’m gonna come,” Jeonghan mewls and grinds back onto Seungcheol’s tongue. All Seungcheol has to do to get him there is smack down onto his ass with a heavy hand, and Jeonghan’s coming untouched onto the cabinet. Seungcheol gets up from the floor and strokes his lower back, Jeonghan shaking under his touch.

“Can I fuck your thighs?” Seungcheol asks. Jeonghan can see him trying his best to find some relief for his aching dick by palming down onto it. It seems like Jeonghan can’t speak because he just nods and positions his legs together. “Wait, I don"t have lube.” Jeonghan snaps his head back to give him a dirty look. “Just kidding.” Seungcheol grins arrogantly, clearly satisfied with the reaction he got.

Seungcheol rubs lube in between Jeonghan’s thighs and situates himself behind his pliant body. Once he lubes himself up, he slides into the warm squeeze. Seungcheol exhales, finally getting the relief he’d been deprived of since they stumbled into this storage room. He starts rapidly thrusting, solely trying to get himself off. The force of Seungcheol’s thrusts makes Jeonghan’s body rock back and forth on top of the cabinet. Seungcheol has a tight grip on Jeonghan’s hips, pulling his body back against him every time he thrusts. He’ll occasionally brush against Jeonghan’s sensitive balls and then grumble at him.

“Look at me,” Seungcheol demands.

Jeonghan slowly turns his head back to face the man fucking his thighs. He’s got this smug look on his face, sweat running down his neck, seemingly tired from the energy he’s expending. But it’s not like Jeonghan appears any better. He knows he probably looks so unbelievably fucked out and he’s not even getting off right now. The only times he lets Seungcheol possess any sort of claim on him is during moments like this. Seungcheol watches as his lips part sensually, eyelashes fluttering shut.

Seungcheol comes right then and there. It shoots out onto Jeonghan’s thighs, trickling down his legs. Jeonghan squirms from how filthy he feels.

“Holy fuck, that’s so hot,” Seungcheol heaves, dick twitching in interest.

“But you got me all messy,” Jeonghan complains and picks up a nearby roll of paper towels to start wiping himself down.

“Yeah, that’s why it’s hot. My cum is literally dripping down your thighs,” Seungcheol says like it’s obvious, also tidying himself up and fastening his pants.

“Stop being gross.” Jeonghan has a disgusted look on his face. Truth be told, he’d be into it if they were in any other context and setting.

“Come on, you’re totally into everything I give you.” Seungcheol talks with such sureness in his voice, and it drives Jeonghan fucking crazy.

“No, I’m not,” Jeonghan mutters, furiously pulling his pants up.

“Yes, you are. No one fucks you like I do.” Seungcheol winks. Jeonghan is about to respond but hesitates and stares down at his feet. “See? You can’t even deny it. Must be why you wanted to hook up again after only like a week. You want me so bad,” he teases. Jeonghan doesn’t respond to him, just continuing to look down at his feet.

Seungcheol’s about to keep talking when Jeonghan begins to make little hiccup noises. He just watches Jeonghan at first, not understanding what he’s doing until he starts crying. Jeonghan brings his hands up to try and cover his face, sobs racking his body with tears streaming down and everything.

“Woah, are you okay?”

“Just get out of here, Seungcheol! I just can’t talk about it, okay?” Jeonghan shakes his head and avoids eye contact. He tries to distract himself from getting too angry by buttoning up his shirt, wiping some tears as he goes.

“Is this about what you were saying at the bar?”

“It’s about everything!”

They both just stand there looking at each other after Jeonghan’s outburst. Seungcheol looks shocked but Jeonghan’s even more so, not expecting to have raised his voice like that. He begins to curl back in on himself, tears flowing from his eyes again but his breathing picks up this time. Jeonghan reaches out for the wall to stabilize himself and almost trips on Seungcheol’s jacket that was still on the ground.

Seungcheol rushes to hold onto Jeonghan so that he doesn’t fall. The comforting physical contact makes Jeonghan crumble from the inside as he breaks down in Seungcheol’s arms. He can’t control himself anymore so he just decides to let it all out. Seungcheol still looks confused by what’s going on but he tries his best to console Jeonghan nonetheless.

“Hey, hey. You’re okay. Everything’s okay,” Seungcheol says in his softest voice.

Jeonghan doesn’t even know how long he spends standing there being held by Seungcheol. He would have never imagined that he’d be comforted by Choi Seungcheol while crying in his arms. With his help, Jeonghan eventually starts to calm down. His breathing finally mellows out and his tears stop cascading down his red cheeks. Jeonghan tries to wipe the remaining wetness off his face but groans when he sees smudged makeup on his hands.

“I just know I look fucking disgusting,” Jeonghan exhales in annoyance.

“Hey, don’t say that. Only a little bit.”

That gets a giggle out of Jeonghan, triggering Seungcheol’s own chuckle. Jeonghan looks around the cluttered room for water and spots some unopened bottles, using one to wet a few paper towels. Jeonghan uses his phone as a mirror and starts wiping away the smudged parts. Seungcheol patiently watches him. Jeonghan’s about to throw the paper towel in the trash bin when Seungcheol stops his hand.

“You missed some.” Seungcheol takes the paper towel from his hands. He hovers his hand over Jeonghan’s face and looks him in the eye as if asking permission. Jeonghan nods and Seungcheol carefully brushes it around his lips.

They’re suddenly standing really close.

Jeonghan’s trying to avoid eye contact because why the fuck does Seungcheol look so handsome in this dim lighting? He’s being so gentle as he tries to clean up the smeared lip stain. Jeonghan, very regrettably, glimpses back at Seungcheol’s focused face.

Seungcheol looks back at him and halts his movements. Neither of them make an effort to move from their positions. Just looking into each other’s eyes. Waiting for the other person to move first. Jeonghan feels completely drawn in by Seungcheol’s intense expression. Their eyes are flickering down to each other’s lips and Jeonghan wants to lean in.

All of a sudden, Jeonghan’s phone dings, and they’re broken out of their trance. Jeonghan flinches and rushes to grab his phone, seeing that he’s got a text.

“They’re asking where we are– hey!”

Jeonghan stops what he was saying when Seungcheol grabs his phone and starts tapping away. Jeonghan tries to take his phone back but Seungcheol just leans in every possible direction to avoid him. He eventually hands it back over to a frazzled Jeonghan.

“Here. If you need to talk or wanna come over sometime, I’m here. We don’t have to do anything,” Seungcheol says genuinely, picking his jacket up off the floor. Jeonghan looks down to see that Seungcheol had put his contact information in and sent himself a text so that he also had Jeonghan’s number. He wants to say something but Seungcheol’s already walking out and holding the door open for him.

They don’t say much as they grab drinks from the bar and head back to the booth.

“Damn you guys sure took your sweet ass time in getting us drinks. I’m nearly sober at this point!” Chan speaks in his usual boisterous tone.

“No, you’re not,” Minghao sighs, shaking his head at his younger friend.

“Yeah, I’m not,” Chan hiccups and cackles.

They sit down with their friends after making up some excuse. Joshua pulls his boyfriend into his side while Jeonghan tries to dismiss the suspicious look that Seokmin shoots his way.

***

Weeks have passed since Jeonghan and Seungcheol last saw each other. No one has scheduled any sort of group hangout because they’ve all been pretty busy lately. And Jeonghan has yet to text Seungcheol. He’s just way too nervous.

Jeonghan didn’t notice it at first but he’s started to grow distant from Joshua. So if he were to reach out to Seungcheol, then Jeonghan feels like it would solidify their separation in his head.

When Jeonghan and Seungcheol would hook up, Jeonghan would then always make an effort to shower Joshua in affection the following days. As if he were making it up to his unknowing boyfriend. But that was before Seungcheol started to make Jeonghan’s heart feel weird. Now that there’s some level of feelings involved, Jeonghan has a hard time even looking Joshua in the eye. They have been spending less time together because of their jobs, but when they are together Jeonghan hardly touches or talks to his boyfriend now. Joshua has been asking him what’s wrong, but Jeonghan only gives vague responses in return.

Despite the fact that they have been together for almost seven months now, Jeonghan still doesn’t like talking about himself much. Joshua knows this and respects him, but Jeonghan can see he’s frustrated when it gets in the way of their quality time together.

Throughout their relationship, Jeonghan had intentionally put an emotional block between him and Joshua because he has always felt insecure about being vulnerable in front of people. Even Seokmin. Jeonghan just doesn’t feel comfortable asking them for help. He was raised in a household where he had to hide his emotions so he has always kept his problems to himself. And now that he’s struggling mentally and in his private life, Jeonghan feels trapped.

He"s never talked about personal things like this with Seungcheol besides that time at the bar and when he embarrassingly cried in his arms. But for some reason, he feels a strong urge to. Maybe it’s because there’s something raw about their relationship in which they don’t necessarily care about the other person’s opinion. They don’t hold much back when they talk to each other because there’s no reason to. But in Jeonghan’s relationships with his friends, there’s something in the back of his head that tells him he can’t be real with them. That he would inconvenience them if he talked too much about himself.

But for some reason, he feels like he can be real with Seungcheol. Partly because he doesn’t give a fuck about inconveniencing him, at least not anymore.

Jeonghan can’t help but stare at the contact Seungcheol made for himself. He understands that if they are to talk, then Jeonghan should be the one to reach out first, considering it was Seungcheol who gave him the open invitation. He smiles at the text that Seungcheol sent to himself that read “warning: yoon jeonghan.”

Without being able to make a decision, he texts Seokmin.

To: Seokminnie
i need advice

Jeonghan didn’t tell Seokmin about what happened with him and Seungcheol the last time they had a group hangout. Seokmin cornered him the day after but Jeonghan managed to stay strong and avoid his questions as much as he possibly could. But now that he feels so lost, Jeonghan figures he might as well come clean to him.

He’s thinking about how to approach the subject when he gets a text from the object of his confusion and frustration.

From: Seungcheol
hey how do u feel?
just making sure ur alive

Jeonghan instantly throws himself back against his pillows and groans. It would be so much easier if Seungcheol didn’t show any care for him. He tries to calm the butterflies in his stomach and think of a nonchalant response.

To: Seungcheol
lucky for u i am

From: Seungcheol
hmmmm i don’t know abt that

To: Seungcheol
why did u text me then
miss me?

From: Seungcheol
smth like that
didn’t hear from you
figured you’d be trapped in ur head rn

Despite the obvious playful tone of their conversation, Jeonghan can tell that Seungcheol is being sincere right now. He decides to just go for it.

To: Seungcheol
smth like that
is ur offer to talk still there

From: Seungcheol
i suppose i can make some time for u
wanna come over tomorrow night?

To: Seungcheol
i’ll see u then

Jeonghan can’t stop the smile that appears on his face. He feels like he’s getting whiplash from the fast rate at which their relationship is changing. Jeonghan’s not even planning on getting physical, he just needs to vent. He still feels unbelievably guilty about not even just talking to Seungcheol, but also going to his house. Jeonghan never would have imagined that the little thing they have going on would have gone this far.

A few minutes later, Jeonghan gets another text.

From: Seokminnie
what is it? do u wanna call?

To: Seokminnie
nvm i already did the stupid thing

***

“Is this about Seungcheol?” Seokmin exhales, his eyebrows furrowed pensively.

“I– what? How did you..?” Jeonghan’s eyes widen, rubbing his arm anxiously.

“Lucky guess. What happened now?” Seokmin rolls his eyes and mentally prepares himself to listen to whatever mess Jeonghan has found himself in again.

They were at Seokmin’s house this time, and Wonwoo was at the gym with Mingyu and Soonyoung so they were alone. They opened a bottle of wine because Jeonghan insisted they drink. Seokmin obviously doesn’t mind but he knows they’re only drinking because it will give Jeonghan some confidence to talk.

Jeonghan downs the rest of his glass and abruptly sets it down on the coffee table.

“I went to Seungcheol’s place last night,” he blurts out. Seokmin’s eyes widen impossibly big, clearly not expecting to hear that.

“Wait hold the fuck up. When did you–? How did you–? Why did you–? I’m so–? What?!” Seokmin yelps, totally at a loss for words.

Jeonghan brings his legs up onto the couch and huddles himself into a ball. “Can we do one question at a time please?” Jeonghan whines. Saying that alone was hard enough, and now he has to explain himself? He was already regretting opening his mouth.

“Gimme a minute to process first.” Seokmin makes a show of setting his glass down and using his fingers to rub at his temples. After a short time, he sighs and looks at Jeonghan with a serious expression. “Okay. What led you to go to his house?”

“I kind of just felt like talking to him…?” Jeonghan starts picking at his sweatpants, trying his best to avoid Seokmin’s intense stare.

“Uhuh. And why is that?” Seokmin nods, sounding like he’s Jeonghan’s therapist right now.

“Umm, to vent,” Jeonghan says quietly, licking his dry lips.

“Why him though?” Seokmin furrows his brows again, letting his calm, collected facade drop.

He probably can’t imagine why Jeonghan would want to talk to someone who’s constantly giving him a hard time and is the reason why his relationship with Joshua is ruined forever.

“I don’t have anything to prove to him, I guess. Sometimes it’s easier talking to a stranger, y’know?” Jeonghan shyly rubs at his neck. He tries to say it in a way where it doesn’t sound like he’s doubting his friendship with his friends. Seokmin thankfully doesn’t take it that way, knowing how Jeonghan has a hard time opening up.

“Is he really a stranger at this point?” Seokmin laughs in disbelief. “Did you fuck?”

“No!” Jeonghan exclaims. The speed at which he responded makes Seokmin raise a brow, not believing him at all. “I swear we didn’t. Like didn’t even touch at all,” Jeonghan defends himself.

“Okay, then what’d you guys do?” Seokmin asks suspiciously, still not believing him.

“I came over and then we sat on his couch the whole time. We just stayed on opposite sides and talked.” Jeonghan bashfully looks down and smiles when recounting the memory. “It was really nice actually. We weren’t mean to each other or anything. We genuinely just had a little heart to heart. I only stayed for a couple of hours then went immediately home. I slept really well last night for the first time in a while,” Jeonghan assures, trying to prove his innocence.

“What did you guys talk about?” Seokmin probes, seemingly convinced that Jeonghan is telling the truth now.

“Just what was going on in our lives,” Jeonghan says in a casual tone. And it’s true. While it did lift a weight off Jeonghan’s chest, they didn’t get too deep. Literally and figuratively.

“Are you guys friends now or something?”

“It’s not like that.”

“It must be another reason then.” Seokmin raises his eyebrows again and leans forward, inspecting his expression.

Jeonghan literally feels himself start sweating from nerves.

“Don’t tell me you fucking like him,” Seokmin says in frustration, but he knows he cracked the code when the man in question flushes completely red. “Oh my god, Yoon Jeonghan!” Seokmin exclaims.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen, okay?!” Jeonghan exclaims too.

“Yeah, no shit! What are you guys gonna do now?! Leave Joshua completely helpless so you guys can fuck off and date each other?” Seokmin is talking with wild hand gestures, his words not being enough to fully articulate his surprise. Jeonghan doesn’t respond for a second so Seokmin finally looks at him with clear eyes, seeing him clearly on the verge of tears.

“I don’t know what to do,” Jeonghan whispers, afraid that he’ll entirely break down if he talks any louder.

Seokmin realizes his mistake and instantly cozies himself right next to him so that he can wrap him in his embrace. “Oh, Jeonghan hyung…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m just worried for you.” Seokmin slowly raises his hand up to wipe at Jeonghan’s tears.

The both of them just stay there in each other’s arms. The only sound being the soft music that Seokmin started playing when they first sat down together. Jeonghan starts rustling and clears his throat.

“I really did like Joshua. I just realized too late that he wasn’t what I wanted,” he says brokenly.

“But you like Seungcheol now?” Seokmin softly asks. Jeonghan gives a little nod. “Oh, hyung. How’re you gonna get out of this mess?”

***

“Ugh, you again?”

“Says the one who begged me to come over again,” Jeonghan laughs and walks past Seungcheol who has just opened the door for him.

“Yeah, I think you imagined that,” Seungcheol huffs playfully and shuts his apartment door.

Seungcheol invited Jeonghan to come over to his place again, and after how pleasant the last time was, Jeonghan easily accepted. It had left him feeling a lot lighter than before. It’s been ten days since then and they’ve been frequently texting each other. They’re still maintaining this kind of lighthearted, teasing atmosphere between them without getting too deep. Neither one of them wanted to risk getting overly personal and involved. They honestly haven’t changed much about the way they talk to each other, it’s just that the tone and intention of their words have changed.

And they’ve yet to mention the elephant in the room being the fact that they’re both betraying Joshua.

They’ve moved to Seungcheol’s couch once again, but this time with beers. Seungcheol has a medium sized apartment that’s surprisingly well decorated. Jeonghan and Seungcheol didn’t necessarily have a reason for meeting up again, since Jeonghan has been feeling better. Though perhaps it was because they haven’t had an opportunity to see each other at a friend get-together, considering everyone has still been pretty busy.

Seungcheol had texted him out of the blue about coming over and Jeonghan agreed, not needing a reason to see Seungcheol again.

Things are going well. They are just talking, feeling a little bit buzzed from the alcohol.

“So why"d you agree to come over again?” Seungcheol asks as he takes another sip of his beer.

“Oh, y’know, had nothing better to do,” Jeonghan says, leaning back against the couch cushion. He’s trying to ignore the fact that Joshua texted him a couple of times since he’s been there, asking if he could come over to Jeonghan’s place. Jeonghan just replied with a short “sorry i’m rlly tired tonight.” He’s holding his phone close to his person so that Seungcheol won’t see his screen if he gets another text.

“You were so eager when you agreed so I assumed you were waiting for my call. Are you pent up or something?” Seungcheol smirks, leaning forward ever so slightly. They both understand the double entendre behind his words.

“And what do you mean by that?” Jeonghan asks meekly, but still leaning forward as well. The two men subtly inching closer together.

“You know what I mean,” Seungcheol says huskily, his breath now close enough to hit Jeonghan’s lips when he speaks. Jeonghan lets his eyes fall shut in anticipation when he suddenly feels a cold splash on his torso.

Jeonghan’s eyes shoot open to see that Seungcheol had spilled his beer on him.

“Shit! I’m sorry.” Seungcheol gets up and rushes to the kitchen to get some paper towels. Jeonghan also gets up, frowning at the strong smell. Seungcheol returns and starts dabbing at the material of his shirt.

“I feel sticky,” Jeonghan groans, displeased that he didn’t end up kissing Seungcheol.

“That seems to be a pattern when you’re with me.” Seungcheol winks at a now flustered Jeonghan. He just huffs and looks away.

“I need to change clothes.”

“Sure. You can borrow some of mine.” Seungcheol grabs Jeonghan’s hand and walks them to his bedroom. When they get inside, Seungcheol starts rifling through one of his drawers. Once finding a suitable shirt, he turns around just as Jeonghan takes his dirty shirt off. Seungcheol greedily lets his eyes run over the bare skin, making Jeonghan cover himself with his arms in embarrassment. His slender figure being shown off with his low rise jeans. “Sorry, I don’t have any you can wear.”

Jeonghan gives him a blank stare. “You’re literally holding a shirt right now.”

Seungcheol shoves it back in his drawer and then slams it shut. “No I’m not. Here, let me wipe you down.” Seungcheol grabs a fresh towel off a stack of folded laundry he has yet to put away. He walks over to Jeonghan and gives him a look to move his arms. Jeonghan shyly relents and lets his arms fall at his sides, allowing Seungcheol to delicately brush the towel against his stomach.

Jeonghan feels himself getting a little excited from the soft sensation. It’s like the room is heating up and Jeonghan wants to be burned alive. Seungcheol is looking at him like he’s starving and the only way to stave off his hunger was through Jeonghan.

They only need to look at each other’s faces for a second before they’re smashing their lips together. Hands and tongues immediately start invading the other’s personal space. Jeonghan bites down on Seungcheol’s bottom lip when his ass gets groped by large hands, moaning around it. Jeonghan’s hands travel up under Seungcheol’s shirt to feel his well defined muscles. Jeonghan absolutely loves Seungcheol’s muscles, definitely his type of man.

“Take your shirt off.”

“Say please.”

“Please.”

Jeonghan would much rather gaze at Seungcheol’s sexy body than fight with him right now. Jeonghan whimpers in desire when Seungcheol finally takes his shirt off, throwing it on the ground next to the towel. Seungcheol grabs onto his waist and presses their bodies together, with no gap separating their skin. Seungcheol licks into his mouth again when Jeonghan’s hands begin pulling on his hair. Their tongues are trying to devour the other’s. Jeonghan walks Seungcheol back until his legs hit the end of his bed and separates their mouths so that he can push Seungcheol to sit down.

Seungcheol reaches out to grab back onto Jeonghan and plant him on his lap, but Jeonghan instead slaps his hands away.

“No touching,” Jeonghan commands.

Seungcheol groans in annoyance but listens anyway. Jeonghan unbuttons his jeans and turns around so that his backside is facing Seungcheol. He starts swaying his hips from side to side as he tries to work the tight material down his hips. Once he pushes it down enough, he bends over and pulls his pants past his ass. Jeonghan’s practically thrusting it back into Seungcheol’s face but he’s certain that he doesn’t mind. Seungcheol’s panting at the sight of Jeonghan’s boxer briefs perfectly outlining the shape of his ass.

Jeonghan steps out of his pants and teasingly looks back at Seungcheol over his shoulder. When he sees Seungcheol looking back at him, he briefly pulls his underwear down to flash his ass before pulling it back up. Seungcheol’s head comically snaps down when he sees the pale skin in his peripheral vision, just missing the sight of Jeonghan’s bare ass before it was removed from view.

Jeonghan laughs at the befuddled look on Seungcheol’s face when he whips his head back up to look at him. Jeonghan turns back around to face him.

“You’re being unfair.” Seungcheol complains with a pout.

“Aww I’m sorry, Seungcheol. Now…do you want to touch me or not?” Jeonghan tilts his head to the side, eyes shining with mischief.

“I wanna fucking touch you.” Seungcheol pulls Jeonghan by the arm so that he falls onto his lap, straddling Seungcheol. Jeonghan’s about to protest until he gets shut up by a deep kiss. Seungcheol’s hands go back down to his ass, kneading it harshly. Jeonghan loves the rough treatment, and can’t help but grind down onto Seungcheol’s crotch. They’re both already half hard without having been touched at all. Seungcheol’s pants are a bit coarse against his own soft boxers, but it feels good nonetheless.

As Seungcheol dips one of his hands under the back of Jeonghan’s underwear, the door opens.

“Seungcheol–“ someone says as they open the door, but their breath gets caught in their throat at the sight before them.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan dart their heads back to come face to face with Joshua. Their erections immediately go soft as they scramble away from each other.

Everyone is at a loss for words, not being able to utter an accusation or apology. It’s not like Jeonghan or Seungcheol can use some excuse like “it’s not what it looks like” because it was exactly what it looked like. Joshua looks absolutely crushed, and it’s all their fault. Jeonghan feels his heart break at the same time as Joshua’s, his biggest fear coming true.

“Wh-why did y-you do this to me?” Joshua voice breaks, fighting off oncoming sobs. He doesn’t even wait for a response, deciding he just needs to get out of there right now. Both Jeonghan and Seungcheol call out to him but he rushes out of there as fast as he can.

Jeonghan hurries to put his clothes back on, deciding to just deal with the beer-stained shirt. He feels like everything around him is moving so fast at that moment. He can’t believe that this is happening to him. Jeonghan knew it would all crash and burn eventually but he couldn’t really prepare for it. He goes back to the living room to grab his things and head for the front door when he gets held back by his arm.

“Where’re you going?” Seungcheol asks with his big, round eyes. He seems just as emotionally distressed as Jeonghan, if not more.

“I’m going after him. Now let me go,” Jeonghan grits his teeth and tries to get Seungcheol to release him. He doesn’t though and Jeonghan is forced to stay in place. The last person he wants to be with right now is the man he cheated on his boyfriend with.

“What’re you gonna do?” Seungcheol asks somberly. Jeonghan gets weirded out by how calm his voice is, and yet it looks like he’s struggling to keep a straight face.

“Talk to him.”

“About what?” Seungcheol asks, making Jeonghan scoff.

“About what?! Tell him I’m fucking sorry.”

“Are you?”

“What kind of question is that?! Of course, I am!” Jeonghan yells.

“Do you regret it?” Seungcheol speaks so softly that he nearly whispers. It’s a loaded question and Jeonghan hesitates on answering.

“Yes.”

Seungcheol let’s go of his arm, and Jeonghan’s out of there, not looking back.

***

Jeonghan hasn’t talked to anyone in days. His job allows him to work from home so he hasn’t left his apartment either. He’s just been spending his time in bed, alone in his home.

His friends have been texting him regularly, either to ask him how he’s doing or give life updates. Even though Jeonghan hasn’t responded, he really appreciates them. However, Seokmin managed to finally get a reply from him last night. Jeonghan’s supposed to go to Seokmin and Wonwoo’s house later to pick up some food Seokmin made for him. His friends are worried about him and know that he hasn’t been eating enough. Seokmin said he was too busy to deliver it to Jeonghan so he had to come over instead.

After Joshua stormed out of Seungcheol’s place, Jeonghan went to talk to him at his house. Joshua wouldn’t open the door for him, so after waiting outside for an hour, he finally went home. He spent the whole time crying, knowing that Joshua could hear him from inside. Jeonghan tried texting and calling him multiple times the following day until Joshua finally responded with, “We’re done. Don’t contact me again.”

Jeonghan saw it coming clear as day but it didn’t make it hurt any less. Even if for some reason Joshua wanted to stay together, he knew they wouldn’t be able to get past this. Jeonghan had feelings for Seungcheol. No matter how hard he tries to push them down, they stay at the forefront of his mind.

Jeonghan’s respecting Joshua’s wishes of not messaging him, but he hates it. He just wants to tell Joshua how sorry he is and thank him for how special he made him feel. No one had ever put as much effort into loving Jeonghan as Joshua did. They had developed a bond, and while they may had been on different pages, it was real.

What makes Jeonghan feel even guiltier is that he can’t stop thinking about Seungcheol right now. He wants to take back the last words that he said to him, but he can’t. And now Seungcheol won’t contact him. To be fair, Jeonghan hasn’t contacted him either…but Seungcheol is always the one to reach out first. He’s always the one to initiate and now that he’s not, Jeonghan’s convinced that it’s over between them.

Jeonghan is part of the reason why Seungcheol and Joshua’s friendship is done for. He knows how special Seungcheol is to Joshua, and now he’ll probably never look at him the same way again.

Jeonghan is walking up to the front door of his friends’ shared house. He knows that Seokmin’s not home right now so he’ll have to face Wonwoo instead. Ever since everyone found out that Jeonghan had been cheating with Seungcheol, he feels like Wonwoo and Seungkwan are a bit put off by him now. They both really liked Joshua and thought he was a good match for him. While they are still texting him regularly, Jeonghan can just tell something shifted.

Jeonghan knocks on the door and doesn’t wait too long before Wonwoo opens it up. He knows he looks like a mess from the surprised face Wonwoo makes when he sees him. Jeonghan hasn’t washed his hair or face in a while, and he’s been wearing the same pair of pajamas for days. Despite spending all his time in bed, he has very prevalent dark circles under his eyes. But Wonwoo’s face quickly turns sympathetic when he pulls him into a hug with a soft “Jeonghannie” falling from his lips.

Jeonghan stiffens at first, not expecting to be welcomed so lovingly by Wonwoo. Even so, Jeonghan melts into his embrace and reciprocates by wrapping his arms around him in return. Isolating himself has really made Jeonghan miss physical affection. Especially when it’s from someone tall and broad like Wonwoo, he feels like he’s being cradled.

“You’re too skinny,” Wonwoo grumbles into his shoulder. Jeonghan huffs out a small laugh for the first time in over a week.

“That’s why I’m here.” Jeonghan rubs his back softly.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

It’s not long before Jeonghan hears movement in the house and looks up to find Mingyu staring at them. Jeonghan feels a chill run down his spine from the icy glare Mingyu’s shooting at him, so he breaks out of the hug. Wonwoo looks back to see where he was looking and looks almost embarrassed to have been caught hugging Jeonghan.

It breaks Jeonghan’s heart just a tad.

“I’m gonna go grab the food now,” Wonwoo smiles awkwardly before walking away towards the kitchen.

That leaves Mingyu and Jeonghan by themselves, and Jeonghan wants to run away. Mingyu’s reaction to him is understandable considering he left his close friend heartbroken and presumably destroyed his relationship with a beloved hyung.

“How’s Joshua?” Jeonghan asks without thinking. He really does want to know but maybe he shouldn’t have asked Mingyu because all he gets is a snarky laugh from him.

“Like you actually give a fuck. Though I’m sure you’d love to know how Seungcheol hyung is since you’re so well acquainted. I don’t know how Wonwoo and Seokmin are friends with such a backstabber,” Mingyu snaps, clearly worked up by the question.

Jeonghan doesn’t respond. He can’t. What could he even say to something like that? He knows it’s true. He doesn’t deserve to know how Joshua is and he doesn’t deserve such loving, loyal friends.

Wonwoo walks back over, completely oblivious to what they just talked about, but he can sense the tension. Wonwoo quickly goes over to give him the food, they say quick goodbyes, and then Jeonghan goes back home. Wonwoo goes back to his lover in the home where he and the love of his life live, and Jeonghan goes back to an empty apartment.

He’s in his kitchen opening up the bag Wonwoo gave him when he gets a text.

From: Seungcheol
can we talk ?

***

Jeonghan did not expect to end up at Seungcheol’s apartment again but here he is. Just like last time Seungcheol asked him to come over, Jeonghan didn’t need any convincing before agreeing. Maybe it’s because he so desperately needs comfort from someone who understands, and the only one who could possibly understand right now is Seungcheol. Plus he may have missed him.

“Thank you for coming over. I know you probably didn’t want to.” Seungcheol rubs at his knees anxiously. Neither of them are looking at the other.

It’s late at night since Seungcheol wasn’t free at any other time. It’s been a few days since he got that text from Seungcheol. They’re sitting on his couch again, the distance between them feels even bigger than normal. Seungcheol also looks like he lost some weight and hasn’t been taking care of himself very well. Though they tried to freshen up before meeting, it’s obvious they’ve been through it the last two weeks.

“No, I wanted to talk too,” Jeonghan assures, rubbing his own hands together anxiously. He can see Seungcheol quickly glance at him in his peripheral vision, most likely startled by Jeonghan’s response.

“So I’m guessing Joshua broke up with you?” Seungcheol says bluntly, wanting to know what happened after that night.

“You didn’t know?” Jeonghan finally looks back up at him. He figures that he would have had a long sit down chat with Joshua considering how long they had been friends.

“No, Joshua won’t talk to me. He only said to not contact him again.” Seungcheol makes a pained smile. Jeonghan just wants to reach out to him but he figures that wouldn’t be very appropriate right now.

“He said the same thing to me,” Jeonghan sympathizes, exhaling forlornly. “Will your friends talk to you?”

Seungcheol just laughs sadly in response, eyes shining with guilt and sadness.

“I’m pretty sure Mingyu and Minghao hate my guts. Only Chan and Soonyoung will talk to me. But I know they’re not happy with me either. I guess part of the reason why I wanted to talk to you is because I don’t have anyone else right now.” Seungcheol looks Jeonghan in the eye and backtracks when he gets embarrassed. “Sorry, that was weird– um, what about your friends?”

“They’re still treating me the same for the most part but I feel too guilty to talk to them about anything. I suppose we’re in the same boat.” Jeonghan feels his own eyes watering. He has never seen Seungcheol like this before and it’s making him feel weird.

“Look, I’m sorry that I made a move on you after you started dating Joshua. I can’t offer a good explanation for why I did that. I don’t know why I would ever do that to him but I just couldn’t stop myself I guess,” Seungcheol says sincerely.

Jeonghan’s tears start delicately cascading down his cheeks. “It’s not like I exactly shut it down either,” Jeonghan tries to smile reassuringly as he wipes a few tears away.

“Did you love him?” Seungcheol suddenly asks, catching Jeonghan off guard but he answers nonetheless.

“No. Even if you and I never happened, I don’t think I ever would have. I did have feelings for him but his feelings were stronger than mine. I’m just–.“ Jeonghan accidentally lets a small sob sneak out and before he knows it, he’s letting out full on sobs. “I feel terrible about hurting him. I just wish I could– wish I could apologize to him–.“ Jeonghan gets cut off when Seungcheol pulls him into his arms.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. Me too. I feel the same,” Seungcheol coos, and starts stroking his head. Jeonghan nuzzles into the firm chest as tries to calm down. He pulls back to look up at Seungcheol with a serious expression.

“Have sex with me.”

Seungcheol opens his mouth in shock before pulling himself together.

“Are– are you sure?”

“Please, Seungcheol.”

They spend the night with soft kisses and passionate, sensual movements. They stayed wrapped in each other’s arms, trying to stay as close as possible. The only words shared were those of praise and pleas for more. Seungcheol kept his eyes on Jeonghan’s face the whole time, not being able to look away and eager to please. Jeonghan was constantly pulling Seungcheol down for deep kisses.

Throughout their relationship, they had never had soft and romantic sex before. It was usually rough and a lot of the time rushed. They felt so attached to the other that, after they both finished, they ended up falling asleep with their bodies entangled. Spending the night together was another new first for them.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan were able to sleep with light hearts, not concerned about anything else other than the person in bed with them.

Jeonghan wakes up in Seungcheol’s bed in the morning. Light shines down on the bed from the open curtains. There’s a slight chill in the room that makes Jeonghan snuggle up into the duvet. His body feels a lot less worn out than it usually does after a night with Seungcheol. Must be because they weren’t rough at all this time. Jeonghan’s heart races when remembering the passionate night they shared. At first, he only wanted it for comfort, but then it became a lot more than that to Jeonghan. And he feels like it meant something to Seungcheol too. He hopes that something will shift between them.

Seungcheol then walks back into the room from the bathroom. He seems to have just taken a shower based on the wet hair and fresh set of pajamas. When he sees that Jeonghan’s awake, he gives him a warm smile with eyes crinkling cutely.

“Good morning,” he says and walks over to the bed to sit down.

“Good morning,” Jeonghan smiles back, feeling flustered.

“How did you sleep?”

“Like a baby.”

“I’m glad.”

Something has been weighing on Jeonghan’s mind ever since the time when they got caught. Jeonghan feels awful about what he said to Seungcheol but it was too awkward between them to bring it up so he figures now is a good time.

“Um, I’m sorry about what I said to you before I left that night.” Jeonghan sits up in the bed but brings the covers up to cover his naked chest. He’s only in his boxer briefs compared to a fully clothed Seungcheol and feels shy.

“It’s okay. It’s not like what we did meant anything,” Seungcheol says humorlessly, turning his head away.

Oh. Okay.

His words spark something in Jeonghan. Months and months of inner turmoil caused by Seungcheol start flooding his head. He can’t believe Seungcheol said that after everything…but at the same time it’s expected.

“That’s the problem I guess. I’ve never meant anything to you but I still continued to go along with it,” Jeonghan bites down on his bottom lip in frustration, picking at a thread on the duvet.

“Woah, where’s this coming from?” Seungcheol shakes his head in disbelief. The tone of their conversation shifted so fast.

“Figures that you’re still acting like it never happened,” Jeonghan scoffs.

“Acting like what never happened?” Seungcheol furrows his brows.

“Us! You and me! Before Joshua!” Jeonghan suddenly bursts. He feels hurt at Seungcheol’s blatant dismissal of their past. Though Seungcheol finally seems to catch on when he himself scoffs.

“Well sorry if it leaves a sour taste in my mouth based on the way you treated me directly afterward,” Seungcheol retorts, also getting heated.

“Excuse me?! You had a problem with the way I treated you?!” Jeonghan’s eyes widen in anger as he starts shouting.

“Yes! Why did you hate me?”

“You’re seriously asking me why I hated you after the way you treated me?! Okay let me start,” Jeonghan laughs in disbelief and starts counting reasons off on his fingers. “First, you led me on for months. Second, you left me for a woman that you ended up breaking things off with almost immediately after. Third, you said afterward that you weren’t even into men! Then you changed your number–!”

“Me changing my number was totally unrelated,” Seungcheol tries to interject but gets talked over.

“How could you have been the one to get hurt?! What did I do to make you hate me?!” Jeonghan snaps. He then decides to get out of bed and starts putting his clothes back on. He doesn’t want to be in this place anymore. Seungcheol is making him feel hysterical and is bringing back a certain type of heartbreak that he’s had locked away inside himself for a while.

“Well this guy who was really into me shows back up in my life and he’s suddenly dating my best friend?! I thought you were trying to use him to get back at me!” Seungcheol retaliates and gets out of bed too so that they’re both standing in front of each other.

Jeonghan sees red from his words.

“How was I supposed to know that Joshua was your friend?! You refused to tell me anything about your personal life! I was just your dirty little secret so your friends wouldn’t find out you’re gay. You refused to ever go on dates with me because you didn’t want to be seen in public with a man. You wouldn’t even let me tell my friends about us. And you didn’t want me coming to your apartment. I liked you so much but you– but you threw me away like I was any other hookup! And then you tried to act like you weren’t even attracted to me in the first place!” Jeonghan punches Seungcheol’s shoulder but there’s no real power behind it. He just doesn’t know how else to express his anger and sadness.

They had been in an “almost dating” stage for months before Jeonghan ever met Joshua. But that was obviously ended by Seungcheol.

“I had never been interested in a man before, okay?! I thought I was straight! I didn’t know what to do. I felt like I had lost control,” Seungcheol says as he gesticulates wildly.

“So you left me for some girl instead?!” Jeonghan sneers.

“I thought that maybe I had been wrong about being into you!”

“Yeah, you must have been wrong because months later you try to hook up with me again when I have a boyfriend! And I’m assuming the reason you invited me over in the first place was to fuck me! You’re awful!” Jeonghan presses a pointed finger into Seungcheol’s chest, glaring at him as he speaks.

“If I’m so awful then why did you go along with it?! If you hated me so much then why did you reciprocate?!” Seungcheol gives a fake, tight lipped smile. He’s just trying to get under Jeonghan’s nerves at this point.

“You pig. Are you gonna be an asshole your whole life?”

“Are you gonna be a bitch all of yours?”

“Fuck. You.” Jeonghan enunciates and gives him one last dirty look before rushing out of the bedroom. It’s like everything is crashing down all over again. Jeonghan tries to make it out the front door but Seungcheol gets in front of him and blocks it with his body.

“Wait wait wait. Look, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I said that. I didn’t mean it, I swear. I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for leading you on. I’m sorry for hurting you by leaving you for someone I didn’t even like. I’m sorry for acting like the victim when you got with Joshua. I really did invite you over for a truce and for friendship, not to use you for sex. I promise. Can– can we please be friends?” Seungcheol pleads, sounding like he’s actually regretful.

Jeonghan turns away for a bit to take in his apology, thinking it over. It takes a solid two minutes for Jeonghan to say anything.

“Okay.”

“Really?” Seungcheol exhales in relief.

“Yes. I know you were just confused by your sexuality. Do I think you handled it well? No, not at all. But I understand you were scared,” Jeonghan says with a much more level head than when they were yelling at each other just a few minutes ago. He disses Seungcheol but he just takes it, not denying that he screwed up.

“Thank you, Jeonghan-ah,” Seungcheol says with ease.

Jeonghan reveals a small smile because of the name but tries to hide it. He’s happy to finally be on good terms with Seungcheol but knows that things need to change if they don’t want to end up in the same situation.

“No more hooking up though. At least not until you’re serious about me. But don’t expect me to wait on you until you figure it out,” Jeonghan warns. He honestly knows he’s not getting over Seungcheol anytime soon, but it’s important for Seungcheol to know that Jeonghan won’t stay on the sidelines like he did last time.

“Okay. I’ll make it up to you I swear,” Seungcheol promises, and hopefully he means it.

***

Three and a half months pass by and…they’re still friends. Jeonghan from three and a half months ago would have been displeased about the lack of development, but now he’s actually grateful for the time they’ve spent getting closer. They’ve truly started to rely on each other like best friends. When they were “together” before Jeonghan started dating Joshua, they had spent most of their time either flirting or fucking. They had actually learned more about each other through Joshua than they did during that time.

They’ve still kept their agreement to not engage in any sort of sexual acts. It was hard for them because spending more time together meant they got to see new aspects of the other that they hadn’t seen before. It made them feel even more attracted and allured, but they managed.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan also haven’t engaged in any sort of sexual or romantic relations with other people. It’s kind of unspoken that they’re committed to one another.

Things have settled between Jeonghan and his friends. They seem to be happy that he’s pursuing someone who he’s actually infatuated with, and were surprised to find out Seungcheol was his mystery man from all that time ago. They were a bit skeptical after they connected those dots, but they just accepted the fact that Jeonghan wouldn’t be so into this guy for no reason. Mingyu had made things awkward between them but Wonwoo and Seokmin have asked him to stop talking about Jeonghan so negatively.

Jeonghan hasn’t seen Mingyu since that day, and he thinks that he better wait even longer before they can be on neutral terms again.

Joshua has yet to talk to either of them and it will probably stay that way for the time being. It hurt Seungcheol more because they had been friends for years, but he understands. Chan told him that Joshua seems to be doing better. But other than that, Seungcheol’s been talking to his friends way less. The last time they had a deep conversation was when he officially came out to them.

Seungcheol told Jeonghan that he felt like he was going to die but they had of course accepted him, moving their friendship toward a more positive direction. Though they truly are each other’s best friends right now. Jeonghan’s never felt like this with anyone he’s ever been interested in. He just hopes that Seungcheol will commit to him soon.

“Are you cooking tonight or am I?” Jeonghan calls out from the kitchen. They came to Jeonghan’s apartment after buying groceries together. Seungcheol walks out of the living room to stand next to Jeonghan who’s taking food out of the bags.

“Jeonghan,” Seungcheol says earnestly.

“What? Are you saying you want me to cook?” Jeonghan says passively, not really paying attention to Seungcheol’s tone.

“Well, yes. But, no.”

“Huh?” Jeonghan finally looks over with raised eyebrows, not understanding him at all.

“Jeonghan,” Seungcheol tries again.

“What?!” Jeonghan says in exasperation.

“Will you go on a date with me? Like, in a romantic way?” Seungcheol rushes his words so they get all jumbled, but Jeonghan understands him loud and clear. He turns his body to face Seungcheol head on.

“Only if it’s in a romantic way.”

“So, that’s a yes then?”

“Duh! It took you long enough,” Jeonghan giggles and throws himself at Seungcheol, wrapping his arms tight around his neck. Seungcheol wraps his arms around Jeonghan’s waist on instinct, pulling him as close as possible.

“I’m sorry. I was nervous. Can I kiss you?” Seungcheol admits and then asks with big, hopeful eyes.

“In a romantic way?” Jeonghan teases.

“Of course.”

“Then, yes.”

Seungcheol and Jeonghan both lean in until their lips press against each other passionately. It’s been so long since they had done this and Jeonghan has sure missed the feeling a lot. Jeonghan tries to add tongue to the mix but Seungcheol parts from him before they get carried away.

“I like you,” Seungcheol confesses. Jeonghan can’t stop the huuge smile that graces his face. It really feels like everything up to this point has been worth it. Everything that they had been through. Everything.

“I like you too.” Jeonghan hides his face in Seungcheol’s neck, bashfully. “I thought we were gonna be friends forever.”

“Before I was gay–,“ Seungcheol starts. Jeonghan instantly snaps his head away.

“What do you mean ‘before?’” Jeonghan crinkles his brows both in confusion and amusement.

“I mean when I was straight. Before I met you,” Seungcheol explains.

“You didn’t just become gay. I only helped you realize it.” Jeonghan shakes his head at Seungcheol’s silliness. It was simultaneously cute and annoying.

“Okay, well when I was straight–“

“You’ve never been straight!”

“Just let me finish! Before I started liking you…,” Seungcheol slows his words and looks at Jeonghan for confirmation that he"s not saying anything incorrectly. Jeonghan nods, signaling him to proceed. “It was easier figuring out my feelings. I think I was just already thrown off my game when you approached me first. You were so beautiful and you came up to me with so much confidence. But then I ruined it between us and when you got with Joshua, I was so upset for some reason but now I know it was just jealousy. I never actually hated you or anything like that. I totally had the option of not seeing you, but I kept hanging out with Joshua when you were with him because I wanted to be around you. I like you and I want to be with you, Jeonghan,” Seungcheol professes. He sounds like he rehearsed it.

“Thank you, Seungcheol. You don’t know how much that means to me,” Jeonghan admits through teary eyes. He finally found someone who he was willing to give everything, and someone just as willing to give everything to him.

They kiss once again, the beginning of many more.