Chapter Text
Furinkan High School girl's gym teacher Kino Makoto had a secret. It wasn't that she knew about Jusenkyo curses and the weird supernatural stuff in Nerima; those were open secrets of the ward. It was also most of the reason she was there in the first place.
No, her secret was that she was one of the Sailor Senshi. But being a defender of love and justice didn't pay the bills since they hadn't been smarter about trademarks and intellectual property as ignorant teenagers.
They'd had their day(s), stopped the bad guys, and quietly let history move on. For now...
While she wasn't the most sensitive to spiritual phenomena, there were some things you couldn't help but notice.
Like being metaphorically hit in the face with a baseball bat of demonic energy.
Once she'd literally picked herself up off the floor, Mako dumped her entire purse on her desk to get at her cell phone. She flipped the lid and jabbed her thumb into the very non-standard '∀' button.
"C'monc'monc'mon," she hissed at it. "Pick up already!"
"Hey, Kino-san, what's-" someone asked from the doorway.
That also reminded her that it was a shared office space. "Uh, important private call, sorry!"
"Well, why-"
She didn't let him finish, closing the door on the man with a few more rushed apologies.
"-Mako-chan? Are you there?!" came the shouted voice from her phone.
"Sorry, sorry, another teacher walked in. I've got an 'all hands on deck' demonic situation out here," she said quietly, in case of eavesdropping coworkers.
"Did your student finally do something evil?"
"No, Usagi-chan, it's not Saotome, even if chaos hangs on her like white on rice," she said.
"She's right," Rei agreed. "I barely have to focus on Nerima, and I can feel it. It's not trying to hide itself, but it's also not... flaunting? If something that feels like a singularity of demonic power could be casual..."
"That is a very apt description," Ami whispered. "The Mercury computer is unable to chart the upper limit of the energy."
As if speaking of it had garnered its attention, the power pulsed.
"That's... less than ideal," Makoto said. "Any idea what could be so powerful?"
'Paging Mizuno-sensei' came over in the background of Ami's voice. "I can only speculate. But it's an uncomfortably short list..."
"What should we do?"
"What we always do," Usagi said. "Investigate, confront, mitigate. We'll go together; everyone transform and meet at the school!"
Hild replaced several of her golden power limiters, simple-looking jewelry as far as the mortals were concerned, and smiled at the glorious chaos brewing. She'd have to send the little blue mortal a gift basket; it had been decades since she'd had such fun.
Granted, she'd had to do a little bit of work for it, too. It wasn't like her dearly loved, but frustratingly ungrateful daughter had arranged everything for her, so Hild had picked up the slack. It was nothing to give some people a sense of urgency or make others feel their worries soothed.
Speaking of ungrateful daughters... "Urd-chan, hiii~!" she waved to her offspring. "I adore what you've done with the place."
"Mother?! Not again," Urd grumbled. "Why am I not sur- no, you know what, you leave these mortals alone!"
"Moi?" she asked, gesturing to herself with a finger.
Her daughter stomped her feet angrily. "Yes, you, don't play innocent! And why are you still a pipsqueak?!"
Still so immature after all these centuries... Hild sighed wistfully. What a demoness you would have made! "I'm just watching the fun! It's not like anyone is picking a fight with sweet lil ol' me."
"Sweet my foot, you old hag," Urd grumbled quietly.
Not quietly enough. Thunder rumbled through the clear sky as dark clouds began to gather. "What was that, daughter-dear?" she demanded, her eyebrow twitching.
"You heard me, you-"
"Halt, demon!"
She actually did halt, pausing in the delightful banter with her daughter to look around.
Ten girls, well women she supposed by their developed bodies... even if the mortals did live such fractional lives... stood atop the house glaring directly at her.
Now, why would they... Oh! The planetary demigods, come to smite evil, how delightful! It was about time they arrived! She waved extra excitedly at them. "Hi, Princess Serenity and friends!"
She touched a finger to her lips thoughtfully. "Or was it 'queen' yet?"
It was their turn to pause.
"Uh, hi?" the blonde, twin-tailed Sailor Moon replied.
"Love what you girls did with that upstart Galaxia!" Hild complimented. "You'll be happy to know she and her allies are receiving their due punishments. Betrayal and planetary genocides, tsk tsk!"
"Thank you?" the ponytailed brunette, Jupiter, said hesitantly.
"Oh, it's my pleasure, well and truly!" she giggled innocently. "So what brings you here? Certainly, it can't be lil ol' me~?"
"She's the unfathomable demonic power," Mercury whispered to her group.
Hild beamed. "Thank you, Mer-chan, you're so sweet!"
"Ur, I, what?" she stammered.
"Wait, she is? This cute little girl?" Moon asked. "Is she possessed?"
"Nope!" Hild answered. "One hundred percent 'pure,' teehee, grade-A demon. Now, as polite and complimentary as you have been, I really can't let you spoil my show!"
"Then we'll banish you and put an end to your evil, er, evil-doer!" Moon declared.
Normally such a thing would be a bad idea to say to Herself, but she'd also poked the sleeping magical girl bear expecting it... Hild shrugged. "So sweet, I really do like you, if only my daughter was so loving..."
"Eh?" the Senshi and her daughter all sputtered.
"Nevermind! So, you wish for a battle? I'd love to!" with a flash of lightning that took out the section of wall she'd been sitting on, Hild resumed her full voluptuous form once more.
She floated down to the ground below and waved them on. Catching sight of a few lingering eyes, she even struck a sensual pose. Hild let out a dignified laugh at the blushing faces among her opponents. "Don't keep me waiting, girls, let's have fun~!"
All of the Senshi hopped off of the roof of the house to face the demoness, angling themselves in such a way that her powers wouldn't destroy the house if she missed them. As if Hild couldn't just wipe it from existence on a whim.
But she had to commend them for being mindful of their surroundings while executing their ill-chosen plan to confront her. It was nice to see some professionalism in mortals for a change.
The black skirted one with green hair, Pluto if she recalled correctly, kept her eyes on a swivel around all of the other building conflicts as well.
"Pu?!" Urd shouted, and Hild glanced over at her daughter.
A nickname for one of them? How... scandalous!
Maybe she'd get that one a gift basket, too!
Hild watched as Sailor Pluto mentally stumbled and glanced over at Urd, hiding a snicker behind her hand. At least that one had some curious power encircling her, why it was almost...
Temporal? Ohohoho, could it be?
"Urd, what are you doing here? What the he-"
Her daughter coughed and gestured in her direction, and she waved again.
"Oh, hell," Pluto sighed.
"Why didn't you say anything, Urd-chan?" she asked her daughter... excessively loud. "I like this one! I approve!"
Pluto and Urd sputtered violently, and she started cackling. The rest of the Senshi looked at them like they'd all lost their minds.
"It's not like that!" they shouted.
"When this is all over, why don't you swing by for dinner? I'd love to get to know my future daughter-in-law!"
Urd turned violently red and started spouting rapid-fire threats and insults at divine speed in... two... three... four hundred languages. She hadn't seen her baby so upset in quite some time.
This was turning out to be the best day. Everyone was getting a gift basket!
Many things could unsettled Saotome Genma, but as a lifelong martial artist, few things truly frightened him anymore. The appearance of a powerful demon? Not enjoyable.
"What is going on here, husband?!"
But that demanding voice sent fear through him.
"N-n-nodoka!" It was too late to dive into the pond; she'd seen him. Maybe he could get away-
No, the goddess had promised. He couldn't flee. Didn't need to. Couldn't abandon his daughter; she was too engaged to extricate from the fight. Not that it had stopped him before...
"Where is my son, Genma?" she demanded.
He'd still been staring at Ranma and Kuno fighting while planning their getaway. Nodoka followed his gaze.
"Demons?!" she shrieked.
"No! That's Ranma and some idiot from school!" he answered... hoping Belldandy would honor her promise better than he'd done most of his own.
The shrieking continued. "It's true! That girl... you let my manly son become a demon...!"
She drew her sword and went for Ranma. Genma threw himself in between. "No! We're trying to get things resolved!"
"Oh, I'll be resolving some things of my own, husband!" she growled, taking a swing at him. "Starting with you selling my son repeatedly!"
He dodged frantically, leading her away from the space goat melee. "Everything I did was so we could survive on the road!"
"YOU SOLD MY SON FOR FOOD!"
He leapt over a slash that would have taken off at least one leg. "No-chan, you don't know what it's like-"
"Don't you 'No-chan' me, Genma!" she shouted over him, trying to split his skull as he rolled away. "And how would I know when you were gone for over a decade with barely a postcard?!"
At least she's not focusing on Ranma, you best appreciate this girl! he grumbled.
Kě Lún rested atop her staff and stared at the devastation wrought upon the Tendo home. So many concurrent fights, such powerful abilities, roiling supernatural essences of Great and Terrible potency...
"Hibiki, you enemy of women!" Mūsu shouted from her side, leaping to attack the lost boy in his flight from Akane.
"Mousse, I don't need your help!" the girl protested.
She turned her attention to 'son-in-law,' and her fight with another like her. Kě Lún briefly wondered if they would wind up as a viable species at this rate... and what the odds of getting a few for the tribe would be.
"Do not fear my blade, for its righteousness is not to harm you, but prove myself!" the red one said. "I burn with passion, my Blue Iris!"
That sounded like... well, then.
Shanpū leapt from the wall, hearing those poetics, and joined the battle on Ranma's side. "Hands off this one's wife, you demented, red-skinned pretender!"
She looked over at Kuonji Ukyo, the other fiancee who had accompanied them. "Would you like to get involved?"
"Torn between pancaking the pig and going after that red hussy," she admitted.
The elder nodded in understanding. Vengeance and fighting beside loved ones were powerful draws. And there was plenty of opportunity to join in either, for the moment at least.
She shrugged. "I can say that son-in-law probably doesn't need the he-"
"Accept my love!"
Kě Lún was interrupted by a surge of demonic energy as an arc of fire sprang to life below, sliding off of Kuno's wooden sword. Shanpū vaulted over it, barely, and the wave continued on to explode against a tree. She stared at the tree and the lingering demonic energy there for a moment.
"-perhaps you should help Ranma?" she amended.
Ukyo nodded quickly and joined the fray. Kě Lún turned to the tree and the demonic presence hiding inside the branches. "Come out, or I'll come get you," she ordered.
A blonde in leather with red markings on her face appeared. "Foolish mortal, you would challenge a First Class Dem-"
She hadn't let the woman finish, flying across the space and stabbing with her cane.
"Hey!" the demon ducked. "You could at least let me finish!"
Kě Lún didn't.
Ranma wasn't an idiot, she just didn't usually apply herself to pointless things like school. Or whatever that 'rules of acquisition' thing Nabiki used to justify her mercenary ways was.
She was actually pretty smart, even before the transformation, everyone just thought it pertained only to fighting. That was just personal preference, she liked martial arts and fighting.
Just not when it risked blowing up the Tendo house and most of the neighborhood.
She knew her mind had been enhanced with the change. Things were easier to remember, to calculate. But intelligence wasn't wisdom.
She couldn't see a way out of this mess, not without a lot of injuries and property damage.
And everyone blaming her, like always.
Akane, Mousse, and Skuld were chasing and occasionally fighting with Ryoga. Pigboy was only willing to strike Duckboy, but the three of them had no such hangups.
He was going to get his ass beat, eventually.
Craters and holes in walls, not just the property border wall, followed them everywhere they went.
Eventually wouldn't be soon enough, she reckoned.
The big evil demoness and the cheerleaders were more restrained, but with the raw power that wasn't preventing chunks of home, wall, and property from exploding.
...and not just the Tendo home. But at least they seemed to be more... sparring? At least the scantily-clad demoness looked more like Ranma did having a fight with Kuno.
Speaking of the crimson hot- the red jackass... Kuno's new fire powers? Yeah, things were on fire.
"Kuno, you idiot, stop trying to burn down my home!" she shouted, deflecting the flaming sword. Fire washed over her but she didn't get burned.
Interesting. They burn everything except me, huh?
"I shall rebuild you a bigger and better palace, my love, fear not!" she shouted back. Ranma dodged a fireball that left a blackened hole in the yard.
...okay that won't save the house from burning down! Need to get this over with!
Pops was busy fighting with a woman trying to carve him up with a sword, but at least they weren't wrecking the grounds. Ranma wanted her old man to get a beating for everything he'd done, but not be carved into panda steak. Even he didn't deserve to die!
Trying to jump off to aid him resulted in a wave of fire slamming into her, washing over her, and taking out part of the engawa. Soun and Kasumi rushed over with buckets of water to put the fire out.
"Kunoooooooo..." the smoking space goat growled.
"Ranma, get this under control! These are your fiancees!" Soun shouted.
"What part of a second space goat looks like a fiancee to you?!" She shot him a look, and he cringed back.
"Oh my!" Kasumi cried out.
"I accept!" Kuno shouted. "Feel my fiery devotion!"
Ranma took another hit, this one she couldn't dodge because it would hit the house, again, and the two Tendos. The demonic fire tingled, but the sword hurt.
She slapped herself with healing energy, ignoring the glyph appearing, and risked turning back to Soun.
"How about you get off your ass and help, Tendo-san!" she shouted at him.
Screams, shouts, and powers exploding everywhere. His response was lost in the chaos.
"This is all your fault, Ranma; I'll get you for this!" Ryoga shouted as he was chased past.
She jumped to avoid one of Skuld's errant explosives.
Her home was a warzone, the only place she'd had any sense of peace in so long... even with the marriage drama. Destroyed yard, damaged house, burning... everything.
"This is bullshit... try to fix things, everything goes wrong. Do nothing; everything goes wrong."
Kuno overextended a slash, and she slipped in, planting a hoof on her chest with a loud clap. Despite being shoved back and bowling over Ucchan, she didn't seem bothered.
"Goddammit!" She breathed a supremely tired sigh as Kuno climbed back to her hooves. "Why me?! I just wish I had the power to fix all this- mmmf!"
To her surprise, Urd stood at her side, her hand clamped over her mouth, staring with wide eyes, and shaking her head frantically.
Back at the house, Belldandy floated off the ground. A pillar of light erupted from her, driving up into the sky. All of the fighting around them stopped.
The light lasted for several seconds... without blowing a hole in the Tendos' roof, which was a nice surprise given everything else.
Slowly, she lowered back to the ground, and the incandescence faded. "I'm pleased to inform you that your wish has been approved."
"Wish?" Ranma asked.
"Uh oh," Skuld, Urd, and Akane said.
"Dammit, I just Kunoed, didn't I?" she grumbled.
Akane had enough time to nod sadly at her before the beam returned and struck Ranma, and the glowing light consumed her.