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The car pulls up to Scary’s house, and she doesn’t know how to feel. They did it, didn’t they? They finished it, saved the world. But still, Scary feels lost. She messes with the strap of her bag, which is still full of different weapons and things from the adventure. She’ll hide it under her bed when she gets the chance. She opens the sliding door, looks to Lincoln who’s sitting in the seat next to her. She was the last to be dropped off, Grant is the one driving.
“Be safe,” Lincoln says, smiling at her a little. He looks as exhausted as she feels. She sighs and springs forward to hug him, tightly. He freezes a bit before returning it.
“You too,” She says. “I’ll see you at school on Monday,” She says as she pulls away, a tired grin on her face. He laughs. It’s a stupid joke since Teen High is in shambles, but still, he laughs. She waves as she gets out of the car, starts walking towards her door, alone. Scary had to watch all of her friends returning home with their respective fathers, and it only made it more prominent that she was alone. But before she can get there Grant shouts.
“Wait! Scary!” She turns, almost glares at him. He’s leaning out the window, holding a purple envelope. She walks back over, quickly, snatches it from him. It has Veronica written on it in cursive letters, she flips it around to look at it fully. “Give that to your Mom.”
“What is it?” She asks. Grant sighs.
”Something Terry wanted to give her when he passed.” Scary raises her eyebrows a little, stares at the letter. It has Veronica written on it in cursive letters, she flips it around to look at it fully. “He wrote one for you too, I think he left it at D.A.D.D.I.E.S.” Grant adds on, he doesn’t meet her eyes. “Next time you’re there, check that picture he has of you on his desk.” He says. Scary huffs, flips the envelope back around so she can see Terry’s handwriting. It’s in black pen ink. She runs a thumb down it. “I’m sorry.” Grant says. She huffs, scrunches up her nose and turns back to her house.
“Don’t bother.” She retorts, walking back to her door, she doesn’t open it until she hears the van pull away. She digs her hand into the front pocket of her bag, there’s an empty memory syringe in there, as well as a few of Taylor’s ninja rocks. She finds her house key among them, pulls it out and unlocks the door. She pauses in the doorway for a minute, just staring down an empty hallway. The house has never felt this empty.
“Scary? Honey? Is that you?” Her mom calls from the living room. Scary shuts the door behind her, standing still in the front walk way as her Mom walks to the door, her eyes wide as she takes in Scary’s state. Her ripped up clothes, grown out hair, the blood on her shirt. “Oh my god-” She runs over and takes her daughter into a hug. Scary, for the first time and forever, returns it, squeezes her Mom tight, though trying not to crumple the letter in her hands. “There you are…oh baby.” Scary tries not to cry, but it’s hard. She’s exhausted, and she’s home with her Mom. She pulls away eventually, rubs at her face. “What in the hell happended?” Mom asks gently, her hands sitting on Scary’s shoulders. Scary frowns, she doesn’t meet her eyes.
“A lot, I guess.” She says, brushing hair out of her face. “Uhm..I saw Terry again.” Mom furrows her brow. She flips the envelope around. “He told me to tell you, that he loves you-” Her voice starts to break. She sniffles. “And- uhm, to use the money he has saved, and- and to give this to you.” She hands her the envelope, trying to hide her silent tears. Her Mom looks confused, and she opens the envelope slowly, pulls out a few pieces of paper with hand written words all over them. Scary watches her read it, watches her expression shift into something pained.
Scary watches her Mom cry, and it reminds her of when she was a little kid, extremely little, the only memory she has of her biological father. When he was yelling, when he threw things and stormed out of the house. Scary, or…Terri, walked out of her bedroom, holding her stuffed octopus to her chest. Terri had watched as her Mom cleaned up broken porcelain from the ground, while she tried to stop crying. Mom sobbed silently, and Terri sat behind a wall, hugged her octopus to her chest, and tried not to cry too loud. Mom shuffles the papers as she finishes reading. The envelope falls to the ground, forgotten for the last words of her husband. Scary leans down and takes it, she folds it lightly and tucks it into her pocket. Scary doesn’t really know why she does.
“Oh…” Mom rubs her eyes, folding the papers back. “Scary…” She mumbles, looking to her daughter. Scary couldn’t bear to meet her eyes, she stared at the ground.
“I..I couldn’t do anything.” Scary says. “He died in front of me, I couldn’t help. I’m sorry, Mom.” Scary sniffles, wipes at her face. “I’m really sorry.” Mom hugs her again, holds her to her chest. Scary lets herself cry.
“It’s- oh baby, it’s not your fault.” She mumbles, kissing her on her head. “You did the best you could..you’re just a kid, Scary.” The way she says it makes Scary cry harder, makes her finally process everything. The fact all of this happened. She’s only 15. She barely knew what she was doing. Everything that happened, all the times she thought she was sosmart.
“I hate this.” Scary says, choking on her feelings. “I hate all of this, I just…I didn’t hate him, Mom, I don’t hate you, I don’t- I- I’m so sick of this, of caring so much of hating everything I just-” Scary sobs and her Mom holds her. “I want to play soccer again, I want to have a Dad..I want him back. I want to say I’m sorry.” Mom cries, she strokes Scary’s tangled black hair, her brown roots that match her Mother’s hair is growing in, and the purple on the ends is fading.
“I know…I’m so sorry.” Mom tells her. “He loved you so much, I promise.” Scary balls up the back of her Mom’s shirt in her hands. “I don’t really know- what happened to you, but I- I know you did your best, and that everything is going to be okay now, alright? We’re gonna-” She chokes on her tears, and Scary looks at her, her lip quivering. “We’re gonna be okay, Terri.” Scary couldn't care less what her Mom calls her in this moment, she couldn't care less what else happens to her right now, she just wants everything to stop feeling so bad.
“I..I did a lot of fucked up stuff, Mom.” Scary tugs on the strap of her bag, thinking of where the night cap has been stuffed to the bottom. “I don’t…I don’t think you would’ve been proud.” She stares at the carpet, her dirty boots. “I hurt the people I love.” Scary is shocked that she says it, that she admits that she loves them, Lincoln, Normal, Taylor..even Hermie. She shakes her head. “And…” The visage of Willy in the dream world, yelling at her, the way she was manipulated by him. The way she’d ignored every single warning sign in favor of someone who actually understood how she felt, and she paid for it. She paid for it with everything she is. “I missed you.” Scary says. Her Mom cups her cheeks, looks at her with sad and loving eyes. Scary stared back at her, tears going down her face. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too,” Mom says, she smiles, and it’s weak and sad, and Scary returns it. They’re both crying and things are bad, but Scary’s tired. She can worry about it all later. “I love you so much, my sweet girl,” She brushes the hair out of Scary’s face, the hair she had covering one of her eyes, or so long.
“I..I’m hungry.” Scary says.
“What do you want to eat…we can order takeout too if you’d like.” Scary says, thinking for a second. She bites her lip.
“Could we have baked potatoes?” Her Mom smiles, kisses her forehead.
“Yeah, sure we can.”