Chapter Text
When Mia's' best friend Colin looked up at her, she could not help but notice that he looked startled by someone or something he saw through the window. Mia silently questioned him as Colin looked up at her. “What is it, are you okay?”
Colin gave her a look that said, “I don’t want to talk about it,” and shook his head. Colin was a meta, one of the strongest people she knew, and if he was scared, then something really, really wrong. This made her feel chilled to the bone. Maybe it was connected to Damian and Maya's weird behavior, Mia wondered to herself.
She was thrilled about seeing them, especially after so long without seeing them! Not that she wasn't glad to see them because she was, it's just that… They had been acting weird like if somebody died, Mia quickly shoved that thought out of her mind because she knew she'd have a breakdown if she thought about that
Mia Mizoguchi was never fond of dying.
“I didn't see anything, it was like swimming with your eyes closed except you couldn't feel the water,” Rose shrugged in response to Mia's question about one of Rose's deaths on Lazarus Island. “But everybody's afterlife is different, for example Damian's brother Jason he went to heaven when he died, and then he came back, I suppose that saints don't remember the afterlife and yet sinners do.”
A few nights later, Maps had finally worked up the courage to ask Damian, “Hey Hollywood?” while he was sketching in the team's safe house's couch following a mission. In response, Damian grunted. He detested the nickname, but had long since given up on trying to get Mia to stop calling him that. With a question on her lips, Maps let out a breath and said, “I was wondering what you'd like for your birthday.”
Mia wanted to know what Damian had gone through in the afterlife, but she had lost her chance and had backed out. Whatever it was, it wasn't good.
She experienced a shiver down her spine as she considered what he might have experienced. She'd gotten a chill in her spine thinking about what he could've seen, a bad feeling, her gut telling her something bad happened and that was the same feeling she was getting now
Mia was interrupted by a hand gently shaking her arm. “Hey Mai, are you okay?” Mia looked up and gave him a quick once over; his shoulders were stiff, and he was exhausted, but he otherwise appeared--well, not fine, but alive.
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine, it’s just” Mia sighed, “Like school?..” It wasn’t a lie exactly she was unfamously known for relying on other things or people for a sense of belonging or a sense of validation, it was a really hard talk with the school counselor a talk she later regretted having said talk because her parents found out
She didn’t even know why she had this irrational fear of her parents finding out what she’s doing. Because it isn’t like she’s doing anything wrong, but it’s more so that she’s afraid of doing something that would make her receive her parents disapproval.
Clearly, she also had a tendency to overthink things, she just now realized that Damian was talking and she’d tuned him out
“— so, do you think it’s a good idea?” Damian asked
“Yes” she said sheepishly
Damian looked at her and sighed, “You zoned out, didn’t you?”
“Yeah I’m sorry” Mia sat up a bit straighter, finishing her pizza slice, “It’s fine don’t worry about it” Damian smiled, his smile was a bit forced
Mia’s Brain went, “Huh, wonder what that’s about”
“How’s Bruce?” Mia said narrowing her eyes when Damian stiffened, was it a shitty move?, yes it was, did she know Damian’s relationship with his dad was horrid? Yes she did, but Damian couldn’t say anything to Mia because she knew Damian was a master at deflecting questions
Damian clenched his jaw and spoke “He’s fine” he said joyfulness forced into his voice, they were interrupted out of their staring contest by a loud: “COLIN WILKES DON’T DO THAT SHIT EVER AGAIN” Damian and Mia turned their focus on a now very pissed off Maya and a laughing Colin
As Damian de-escalated the situation, Mia saw Iris recording the whole thing while Suren tries to cover his laugh
And Mia can’t help but smile, these people who have zero self-preservation, who can be mean, and sometimes dumb they’re her friends her found family
So when they had paid the food and left, Mia pretended as though she didn’t see Maya’s forced smile. She pretended as if she didn’t see the way Colin looked a bit worried. She pretended she didn’t see the way Damian looked tired, happy but tired.
So Mia pretended, she acted as though when she was in the park she didn’t see the worried glances Maya and Damian exchanged and later that evening when they all were leaving
She said goodbye as if it was just another day, she hugged Maya and Iris, Mia gave Suren a sisterly peck on the cheek. She hugged Damian a little tighter and told him to call if anything happened, the else in the middle of the sentence went unspoken but heard nonetheless.
Then she got in the car, and she let Colin drive to Gotham, once there they said their goodbyes, and everything was “fine”
Mia knew it was Shitty of her to not tell her friends her observations, she knew she was selfish to just want things to be happy a while longer
She didn’t want to come to the reality that things were in fact not fine, Mia knew her friends had gone through hell and back (It was much more true than she would’ve liked on Damian’s case)
She felt horribly guilty about wanting to preserve this “happiness” her friends had
It wasn't happiness that her friends or her had, it was the simple fact that for the first time in a long time they weren't currently risking their life, and that was all fine except it wasn't because it meant that they had to worry about things like college and what you were going to be for the rest of your life, that it wasn't happiness well it was partly but it was a sense of edge of: we've never gone this far without there being some kind of threat SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN this peace is going to come crashing down one moment or another
It's just a matter of time