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Cross my Heart and Hope to Die

Chapter 5

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Diluc looks up when he hears the door downstairs open and then close. He shifts a little on the bed and sighs when pain shoots up his back. 

Today is not a good day. 

Sometimes, the pain is but a lingering in the back of his mind. Such days are rare, and Kaeya insists he takes the day off to spend it with him. They head down towards the lake around noon, Kaeya carrying a basket of packed lunch and Diluc taking each step carefully, and they simply enjoy the greenery and quiet. For dinner, Diluc helps Kaeya with the food, because he knows how to make things even though his body currently does not allow him to work with knives or the stove stable enough to be safe, and they end the day together in bed, cocooned in blankets, and Diluc wishing that a similar day will come again soon. 

Oftentimes, it is a constant throbbing he can mostly ignore if he has something he can focus on hard enough. On those days, Diluc picks a book and spends the day in bed or on the couch because the words can blur his mind from the pain. Kaeya prepares him lunch before heading out for the day and makes him dinner when he returns. Diluc is able to sit at the dining table and they enjoy the food together. Those are the common days, the ones Diluc has come to acknowledge as his new normal.    

And, sometimes, he feels as though claws are permanently dug into his back. He feels as though his spine cracking with each movement he makes and his shoulders are being weighed down by limbs he no longer has. On such days, Diluc cannot do anything. He cannot get out of bed, and on the worst days, he cannot feed himself. He cannot even sit up straighter in bed without help, and even then it hurts and feels not worth the effort. Those days feel the longest. Kaeya tries not to leave his side, and when he has to, he leaves as late as possible and returns as soon as he can. 

Today is a pain day. Diluc had known this from the moment he opened his eyes that morning. His limbs felt heavy and he had struggled to even lift his head. Kaeya noticed the moment Diluc woke up and he had spent most of the day bringing food and water to his mouth. It had somewhat settled by evening, however, and Kaeya had popped out to the stores while Diluc mindlessly flipped through a book in bed. 

There is a knock on the door of his room but it opens before Diluc can react. Kaeya sticks his head in. “Hey.”

Diluc rolls his eyes. He bookmarks the page in his book and puts it to the side. “What’s the point of knocking if you’re just going to enter?”

Kaeya laughs as he steps all the way in. “Compromise,” he says. “You want me to knock. I just want to walk in.”

Diluc chuckles. “Right.”

Kaeya appears to consider sitting on the bed but then seems to think better of it. He grabs a nearby chair and drags it over instead. “How’re you feeling?”

Diluc considers lying. In the end, he thinks better of it too. “Not very good,” he admits. “I wanted to greet you at the door.”

Kaeya smiles and reaches out. Diluc immediately presses his cheek into the soft palm that comes up to cup it. “It’s just one of those days,” he says gently. “You’ll feel better tomorrow.”

Diluc nods. 

A month ago, Kaeya had given up his own wings to save Diluc’s life. Diluc had been unconscious for a week before he had woken up in Kaeya’s bed and Kaeya refused to elaborate on what had happened after he had lost consciousness. 

“You gave them up for me,” Kaeya had said, “so it’s only fair I did the same for you.”

They had settled into some sort of routine, but Diluc does not know what happens now. He does not know if this painful life will continue until the day he dies. Perhaps he is dying still, ever so slowly, and things will only get worse from here. Perhaps Kaeya will be left to take care of him forever and will get sick of it one day, and Diluc will wake up to an empty bed and empty house and will never see Kaeya again.

Kaeya pulls back his hand and fetches a glass of water from the bedside table. He holds it up for Diluc and he obediently tips his head back to take a sip. “Thank you.”

Kaeya nods, but he does not look away even as he places the glass back onto the bedside table. “You’re thinking, again.”

Diluc wonders what it is that always gives him away. “It’s nothing.”

“Nothing you think about is nothing,” Kaeya tells him. “You’re worrying.”

Diluc cannot help the bittersweet smile that blooms on his face. “I…I was just wondering how long this was going to last.” He does not know what he is referring to, really. The pain? Kaeya’s care and love? 

Kaeya rolls his eyes. “It’s no use thinking about things we won’t ever know,” he says. “All we can do is take it slowly, one day at a time.” He plants his hand on Diluc’s head again and strokes his cheek with a thumb. “It’ll get better.” 

Diluc closes his eyes and nods; it is all he can do.

He cannot see it, but he feels it when Kaeya leans in. There are lips on his forehead, and he opens his eyes just in time for them to land again, this time briefly on his lips. “You’re going to be okay,” Kaeya whispers, just like he had in the moment before he had given up his wings for him. “I’ll be with you, till the day you’re better and beyond. Forever, I promise.”

Diluc does not know what will happen from hereon, but there is one thing he does know. He closes his eyes and leans forward again, and this time Kaeya meets him halfway with a deeper kiss. 

Kaeya means his promises, this Diluc can be sure of.

Notes:

1) So yeah Diluc's okay. Not fully, but he is. Kaeya will take care of him.

2) I'm currently working on a dark KaeLuc fic, hopefully it's out before I die of old age.

3) Thank you all so much for reading! I had a lot of fun with this fic, I love this ship.

Notes:

1) THANK YOU SO AGAIN TO FIANI FOR THE LOVELY IDEA AND THE ART AND ALL THE HELP!!!! Stalk'em here!

2) So like, I like hurting Diluc. I just do.

3) Fic will be posted in snippets! Next one will be up soon.

4) Thank you for reading!