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Frenchie and Izzy had been missing for two days and Stede had been losing his mind for a day and a half.
He knew the decision had been the right one, the sensible one, the one a good pirate captain would take. It still had hurt to give the order to leave port without his men on board.
It was a not-so-friendly port and Frenchie and Izzy had been trying to make a deal with a local merchant when the British had appeared out of nowhere and the risk of staying there like a sitting duck had been too big so to save the ship and the rest of the crew they had had to set sail, hoping to be back soon to pick them up again.
That had been two long days ago and even though Stede had been trying to keep calm, repeating to himself that Frenchie and Izzy were smart and resourceful and that the crew had managed to send them a warning before leaving port, he had started to lose that fight quite soon. He wasn’t the only one that had been worried, though.
Fang had been the most obvious one as he had spent a lot of those two days crying not so quietly around the ship.
Jim, Archie and Roach had spent way too much time sharpening knives and anything pointy enough to cut people to ribbons.
Oluwande had been constantly making rounds, checking everything on the ship, to make sure they were ready to sail or fight, he had simply said.
Buttons had sent Olivia to land for news frequently and had sworn that the bird had seen Frenchie and Izzy and they were still safe.
“They’re hiding, c’ptain, they’re smart and know when to lie low.”
Black Pete, who had been awfully quiet since they left, had simply nodded in agreement and had kept polishing the cannons.
And Lucius, poor Lucius had been so tense that had broken four quills in those two days, but still he kept insisting he was sure their friends were going to be just fine.
Wee John had turned to knitting as if their lives depended on it. With the Swede’s help he had started making scarves, then jackets, then blankets, but Stede guessed it was a good thing that he had something that kept him occupied.
Stede, on the other hand, could only wait and try not to listen to the awful voice in his head that sounded way too much like Badminton’s and that insisted that he was never going to have the chance to hear Frenchie’s songs again. That he was never going to see Izzy smile to him again.
And that last part was particularly heartbreaking because Stede had only seen that once, but oh, hadn’t it been something beautiful. And he had felt the luckiest man in the word that time, because he knew not many had seen such smile. Probably nobody since Ed had left them.
It had been rough at first, for both of them, but things had gotten better with time and one night, after a late conversation about their next stop to restock Stede had made a joke he couldn’t remember now and Izzy had let out a short laugh and had smiled at him before shyly looking away, and Stede had been so surprised that hadn’t said anything when the first mate had said good night and left, but then he had stayed awake in bed for a long time replaying Izzy’s smile in his head.
And now he was spending hours on deck, watching the sea from that protected cove and waiting for news from a seagull while the ugly voice in his head insisted that he was never going to see Frenchie and Izzy again. That they had been found by the British. That Stede had let them die like a coward.
***
The morning of the third day, Olivia brought the news of the British leaving the town and Stede didn’t even question it, he immediately gave the order to go back there. In fact, he didn’t even have time to finish yelling his orders because the crew had already rushed to their posts to get the ship moving.
Some other time it would have hurt his feelings, seeing the crew ignore his authority like that, but at that moment he couldn’t care less. Stede simply went to Pete’s side to help and they sailed as fast as they could.
When they reached the port they had barely had time to dock when two figures came rushing towards the ship, one leaning heavily on the other.
They were alive, was Stede’s only thought and the relief almost brought him to his knees.
The moment Frenchie and Izzy got on board, they set sail again, still no sign of the British but better not to tempt fate, and the crew exploded in a chorus of happy cheers as they surrounded their missed crewmates.
Wee Jon engulfed Frenchie in a tight hug as the others patted Izzy on the back and congratulated him for not dying once again. Stede took a look at his first mate’s tired face and smiled at him. Izzy smiled back, looking relieved and happy and Stede couldn’t stop himself from taking the few steps that separated them and pulling Izzy into a crushing hug.
Izzy gasped in surprise, but he soon relaxed in Stede’s arms, letting out a soft sigh against his neck. Stede could have spent hours like that, but eventually he let go of Izzy and looked at him with worry.
“Are you injured?” he asked. “I saw you limping on your way here.”
“We’re both ok,” Izzy replied. “We spent too much time hidden in a cramped space and my leg wasn’t happy about it, I’ll be fine. A bit of food and water would be great, though. We had to do with scraps these last days.”
“Of course!”
When he turned around Stede realized Frenchie was already being guided towards the galley by the rest of the crew and Izzy started slowly following them.
“Wait, Izzy!” Stede said before he could get too far.
Izzy turned back to look at him questioningly and Stede faltered.
“I’d like to keep talking about what has happened,” he finally said. “I have some refreshments in my cabin, I’m sure you can find something you’d like to eat there or I could ask Roach to bring us something…“
“I’m on it, Captain, don’t worry,” Lucius cheerfully said, appearing suddenly at Stede’s side. “I’ll make sure you get some food and water from the galley soon, it looks like you have a lot to talk about.”
Lowering his voice to barely a whisper the young man added “Don’t chicken out now, Captain” and then he started walking towards the galley after smiling encouragingly at Izzy.
Stede looked at Izzy and waited for an answer and the first mate simply nodded and started limping towards the cabin.
Stede was by his side in a second and without asking if he needed any help, because he knew the answer would always be ‘no’, he put an arm around Izzy’s waist to support him and help him walk. To his surprise, Izzy didn’t flinch, didn’t loudly complain, he simply put his arm around Stede’s shoulders and together they walked slowly towards the cabin.
Once inside the room, once the door closed behind them, Stede stopped to look at Izzy with his arm still around him and realized he didn’t want to let go. The voice inside his head, that now sounded surprisingly like Lucius, started whispering to him. You almost lost him, it said, it was almost too late, don’t be a coward now.
Izzy hadn’t let go either, Stede realized, his arm was still around his shoulder and when he looked at the first mate’s face Stede saw a longing that he was sure was reflected in his own face.
I’m a pirate, Stede thought, and pirates are fearless.
So Stede leaned down and kissed him.
Izzy raised his hand to curl around Stede’s neck and deepened the kiss and neither of them let go for a while.
When a suspiciously long time later Lucius finally knocked on the door and let himself inside with a tray of food from the galley, he found Izzy already asleep, leaning against Stede on the settee.
Closing the book he had been reading, Stede put a finger over his lips to demand silence and Lucius complied, leaving quietly as Stede snuggled back against Izzy with a soft smile on his face.