Chapter Text
She couldn’t remember much. She remembered waiting for…someone, remembered that no one that she expected came back for her. Pain, that was something still burned into her mind, along with the idea she had to seal off the wound. They had commended her quick thinking on that one, actually. 845 had told them she was more useful alive then dead, which she appreciated, and 3673 was more than willing to ‘train’ her once she got back on her two feet.
She didn’t remember much before that.
She was angry though, she knew that. Overwhelmingly angry at someone or more than one person. She must have been left for dead, at least that's what they told her as they reconstructed an arm for her. They were nice like that, keeping her alive and giving her new technology to play with. The ear piece she had apparently in her ear had been crushed deep, and the surgery to get all the metal parts out of her ear canal was enough to make her swear them off for the time being. She took the chip they offered instead, even if 845 tried to tell her not to.
They wouldn’t abandon her, they promised. Couldn’t, now that she had some kind of tracker inside of her head. She took that as a guarantee rather than a threat. And all she had to do was play their stupid little games. Collect people like her, let them decide their fates. Play dress up, make the public excited to see her.
She could do that. She was a good actress, she had been pretending to be fine for however long she was in recovery.
“You okay?” 3673 asked as he adjusted his laces. She was sure he had a name, 845 had one too, but she couldn’t be bothered to learn it. Why should she, when everyone else saw them as numbers anyway? “It’s your first time in a press conference.”
“You should’ve seen Bdubs’ first one.” 845 butted in, nudging 3673 shoulders as soon as she saw his glare. “Froze on stage, couldn’t answer a single question.”
Did they think 06 was going to freeze up? “I’ll be fine.” The two of them shared a look, something that made 06’s blood boil everytime it happened. They were in love, they could read each other's minds, big whoop. The least they could do was keep her in the conversation too, since both of them were so involved in keeping her alive after they got their paycheck for finding her body. She connected her arm to the right socket, feeling each individual joint light up before saying anything else. “I have you two to fill in the blanks anyway. If 3673 doesn’t freeze up again.”
Her comment earned another round of protesting as they made their way to the side of the stage, 3673 yelling about how he was the best at publicity until someone made him shut up with a quick zap to his chip. 845 looked pissed at the interruption but didn’t say anything, just offered her hand for 3673 to grab on to.
06 kind of felt like she was going to throw up.
845 was holding her other hand out too, staring directly out and not making eye-contact. 06 eyed the hand, her own twitching to reach out. It would be easy, it would probably feel nice to take the support 845 was offering.
She kept her hands pinned to her side.
“I won’t keep you guys waiting any longer!” The man on stage was loud, annoyingly charismatic in a way 06 wanted to hit his smile off his face. “Please welcome to the stage the city's longest running hero duo, the ones everyone wants to be, ZombieCleo and BDoubleO100!”
The cheers were loud, far too loud for 06’s brain to handle. It was like several guns went off at the same time, the sound enough to make her crouch and cover her ears with a hiss. 3673 glanced in her direction, faux concern falling on his face that only made 06 more angry. She didn’t need concern, she didn’t need help, she didn’t need-
A quick zap to her spinal cord made her cry out, luckily covered by the overwhelming cheers as 845 said something to the host. 06 shakily got back up, shaking out her hands as the residual sparks continued to make her skin burst with an uncomfortable tingle. “But we have something far more exciting than just little ol’ me.” 3673 was clearly cueing 06 up, she needed to get it together.
“Oh?” The host led the crowd into another cheer, a sly smile on his face that clearly made 845 uncomfortable. “Is what the tabloids say true? Is Cleo and BdoubleO finally making it official?”
06 raised her eyebrows at that, at the cheers and flustered look 3673 was suddenly sporting. Were the two of them not dating? “We have officially been partners for years now, Martyn.” 845 said, something warning in her voice. “Other than that, I have no idea what you would be alluding to.”
The crowd was yelling, screaming. “Well, if its not that,” 06 was starting to understand 845’s distaste for the host now. “What are we all here for?”
3673’s smile grew more genuine now that they were back on subject, and 845 sent a subtle thumbs up in 06’s direction. 06 tried to push down the giddy feeling that came with that, instead rolling her shoulder back and making sure she looked relaxed. She could do this. She had to do this.
“We would like to introduce our newest member of our team. She’s strong as hell, a great protector and an even better fighter. Do you guys want to meet her?” 3673 asked, leaving space for the crowd to go crazy again before talking again. “Alright, alright! Without further ado,” The lights turned darker, the mood shifting into something like anticipation. 06 swore she could smell smoke. “Scarlet Witch!”
……
Ren had to admit, the four of them did well for themselves.
The house was small, foundation cracking at the edges, but it was still standing. It had a cute porch that looked new, a wreath that sent a pang of nostalgia and anger at the faded shade of pink down Ren’s spine.
The gate clinked as Ren closed the latch, taking a few deep breaths in and out before talking up the worn out path. He had to keep reminding himself that he volunteered to do this, that he willingly put himself in the line of fire. Tango was probably the better choice to send, but due to the sensitive subject, Ren offered to go instead. Bad idea? Yeah, but it was better than sending Scar.
At least, that’s what Ren would say if anyone asked him.
There were selfish reasons too, he wouldn’t deny that. Pipe dreams, mostly, but they were there. To see Etho again after all this time would be…
Interesting. Ren didn’t think any farther than that.
The curtains shifted as Ren walked closer, a clear sign someone was waiting close to the front door and knew about his arrival. It took another few deep breaths to make himself knock, and even then it was pretty weak. Still, Ren knew whoever was watching him could hear it. It was just a matter of if they were going to answer or not.
Ren wouldn’t blame them if they didn’t answer.
The door creaked open, a sharp smile too feral to be anything but threatening welcomed him. It took Ren a moment to realize he was staring, the wolf ears twitching with irritation the longer Ren’s eyes stayed trained on them. “Hey.” Ren managed to croak out, tearing his eyes off of the ears and instead catching the sight of razor sharp teeth. “It’s been a while.”
Joel raised an eyebrow, the familiarity and boiling rage clear in every subtle movement he made. He leaned against the door frame, blocking any view Ren might have had to the inside of the house. “You look like garbage.” Joel finally said, eyes flicking Ren’s person up and down while his tongue traced his teeth. A mockery of a smile. “Old as shit too. Is your hair graying?”
“Nice to see you, too.” Ren grumbled, the resulting laugh reminiscent of a hyena than anything human. “Happens when you’re not gifted with regen like some people.” In the back of his mind, Ren wondered if he was graying. He hadn’t really looked at himself in a mirror for a long while, it was quick glances to make sure he looked presentable before heading out for the day. Anything longer invited deeper thoughts than he wanted. “Grian home?” Ren asked next, once he realized Joel was just going to let them sit in awkward silence.
“Why do you want to know?”
“Wanted to know how likely my odds were that you were going to let me in.”
There was a flash of heat, something almost exasperated crossing Joel’s face as he seemed to consider Ren more fully. It was uncomfortable to just stand there and let Joel stare, but it would be worse if Ren tried to clear the air. The air was not something to be cleared, not anymore. Honestly, this conversation was already going far better than he expected, though Ren wasn’t stupid enough to think that it would be going as well if any of the other three came to the door. Finally, Joel clicked his tongue, turning around and leaving the door open for Ren to follow. “You’re lucky he’s out.”
Ren walked in, the door closing behind him feeling more like a death sentence than he thought it should.
……
For all of Joel’s mocking about Ren showing his age, Joel wasn’t as young as he used to be either. Ren watched as he moved around the kitchen, cursing under his breath while trying to find another cup for Ren. He was more stiff, his neck was bothering him if the way he continued to rub his shoulder was an indicator. He was covered in tattoos as well, animals and foliage covering any skin Ren could see other than Joel’s face. He had to wonder if his legs were covered as well, or if it was just his top half.
Honestly, Ren was trying to distract himself from looking at the other person in the kitchen.
Lizzie looked older too, more tired than Ren remembered her being. Her hair was pink still, even brighter than before, but the roots were growing out longer than she probably liked. Fingernails tapped along the surface of the table, the force enough to make the vase full of dying roses sitting in the middle rattle. She matched the beat of the clock placed on the wall, each tap echoed by a click of the hand moving along. “Lemonade or water?” Joel finally asked, clearly not caring how uncomfortable this situation was for Ren in the slightest. Ren didn’t expect him to.
“Water is fine, thanks.” There was a low noise that should’ve been a hum but was more of a growl, but Ren considered that an agreement of some sort. Lizzie’s shoulders finally relaxed, turning in her chair to look for something in a bag slung over the back of it. “Lizzie, I know you probably don’t-”
Lizzie let out a tiny, victorious noise as she found what she was looking for, but Ren was more concerned about how much the noise hurt to hear. It was a quick stab in the air, something to prick his eardrum to make it bleed. Joel’s shoulders had tensed at the sound, which was better than the full body flinch Ren couldn’t contain. A flash of irritation crossed Lizzie’s face at his reaction, but she quickly looked down at the object before Ren could figure out if it was at him or at her voice. She was writing something, Joel joining them at the table with three cups of water.
You look old as shit.
Ren looked up from the notepad, listening to the resulting laughter from Joel with a tired smile on his face. Even Lizzie let out a tiny snort, though it felt like it was bouncing around in Ren’s mind for a moment. “You know, your boyfriend said the same thing.”
“Husband.”
A wave of surprise washed over Ren at the clarification, looking at Joel who seemed slightly embarrassed at the way he instantly corrected Ren. “Oh?” Ren couldn’t help the smile that spread on his face at the resulting bobble-head type nod he got from Lizzie, or the flustered glare he got from Joel. “Congratulations. I’m surprised you could find someone with authority-”
“Authority doesn't mean shit. Get two rings, slide them on, you’re married.”
Ren held out his hands in defense, the smile on his face still feeling oddly real considering their past history. “I’ll remember that then, for when…” Joel’s smile seemed to turn more threatening the longer Ren continued to stay on this topic. Besides, it was going into risky territory anyway. “So,” Ren clapped his hands together, trying to squish the suffocating air in between them as he forced the conversation forward. “You two are married, that's a change. Along with the…” Ren gestured to Joel’s head, watching as his ears twitched at the mention. “Cub has been good. Tango too. He actually met someone, if you’d believe that. One of the rescues, the one with the wings that were so yellow-”
Lizzie slammed the pad in front of him, fingers tense around the wire spiral. Joel’s own shoulders were tense, jaw too, leading Ren to push down his questions and instead look down to read what Lizzie wrote to him.
If you’re here for small chat, I'm going to ask you to leave. Now. Before I actually ask you.
A quick glance up had Ren pulling back, Lizzie’s smile mimicking Joel’s in just how threatening it was. “Right.” Ren agreed, clearing his throat while looking up at the ceiling. “We were just…wondering if Gem was camping out here with you?” His voice cracked at the end of the question, a flash of true emotion breaking through that had Lizzie and Joel sharing a look.
It had been over three months since Cub had a sighting on her. Ren wasn’t really- well, Gem didn’t want to see Ren- which he respected. The two of them worked on separate sides of the community, basically as far away as Gem could get from him. Ren could still remember the way she screamed at him the entire way home from the breakout, and could repeat the words over and over in the mirror.
There was another reason to avoid mirrors, Ren guessed.
She was there for Tango, Gem made sure Ren and Scar knew that. As soon as they pulled into Cubs ranch, she made it clear that if Tango was leaving, she would too. She was adamant to stick with him, to be there for him now that Pearl was gone, but Ren could see the way she was breaking open. She stayed, but eventually, she needed an escape.
So, she tracked the rest of Pink Blood down.
Pink Blood left as soon as they could, along with Joel. No one was surprised by Joel’s decision, though Scar seemed to be a little surprised Etho allowed him to come. After all, Lizzie and Grian were still incapacitated, it would’ve been easy to tell him to go to hell. Ren wasn’t surprised. He had seen the look Etho had in his eyes when he agreed, he knew the real reason.
Both groups were losing someone then, even if it wasn’t in the same way as Pearl was.
Etho was always a fan of equality.
So Gem tracked them down, told Tango and Cub and left. She was gone for over two weeks, but eventually she returned with a real smile. It had turned into a split custody situation almost, especially now that Tango had someone else to lean on with Jimmy. Scar never stopped her, not that Ren thought he could, and eventually the rest of the community got used to Gem’s disappearing act.
But it had never been this long of a disappearing act.
Ren didn’t know she was gone, if he was being honest. Gem made sure Ren was always as far away as he could be from her at all times. Ren had accepted that. Ren could go through the rest of his life without ever talking to Gem again, and he could live with himself. Ren had done what he thought was right in the moment, and even if she would never see it like how he saw it, at least she was alive to be made at him.
So, it was a little bit of a shock when Scar and Cub approached him to go ask about her.
It made sense, objectively. They didn’t want Tango to go while he was a nervous wreck already, and out of the other two, Ren would cause the least amount of animosity. Well, would cause the least amount of animosity for three out of the four people he was going to see.
“Gem hasn’t been by in..four months, probably.” Joel’s voice shook Ren out of his memories, another concerned look shared between the couple. “Has she not been with you guys?”
Shaking his head, Ren’s frown grew deeper. “No, we haven’t seen her in around three months. Apparently.” Ren cringed at his addition, and at the way Joel’s eyebrow shot up at that. “It’s not a secret she hasn’t talked to me in a while.”
“I wouldn’t either, if you pulled what you did on me.”
Ren’s fingers gripped just a bit tighter on the table, his argument pushed down his throat. “Save a life, become a villain.” Ren mumbled under his breath anyway, watching the quick surprise that flashed on Lizzie’s face at the comment as he cleared his throat. “Do you know where she might be if she’s not here or at Cubs?”
Another shared look, Ren was getting pretty tired of those. Marriage apparently gave the couple mind reading abilities, who knew? Lizzie began writing on her notepad again, pulling it close to her face like she needed to focus on it more than she had been. “There is another place she could be.” Joel finally responded over the sound of Lizzie’s pencil. “I don’t know how…welcomed you’d be though.”
“You say that like I’ve had such a warm welcome here.”
Joel’s eyes almost had a pitying look in them as Lizzie tore the paper out of the pad, sliding it across the table. “I’m gonna tell you now, I recommend you take that, go back to your little community, and let Scar or Tango handle this.”
On the paper was a crude version of an address, directions telling Ren to turn at a ‘larger rock than normal’ and make sure his brights were off or he’d get jumped. “I don’t understand-”
There was the sound of a car door slamming closed, all three heads turning towards the front door. “You need to leave.” Joel’s voice was panicked, eyes darting to Lizzie who was already scrambling to hide any evidence there was a third person with them. “You can go out the backdoor.”
Ren didn’t have a chance to ask them what was wrong, or say goodbye to Lizzie, since Joel was already tugging him out of his chair and pulling him further into the house. Shoving at his shoulders, Joel hurried him through the backdoor, closing it as soft as he could before letting out a long breath. “We got a back gate, you’ll have to jump it but-”
“Are you and Lizzie safe, Joel?” Ren interrupted Joel’s panicked attempt to get him to leave, watching his chest move in and out like it was hard to breathe.
It was hard to watch the multiple emotions that flashed on Joel’s face after Ren asked, the knowing look that screamed he knew Ren was being genuine, the inherent distrust that came with Ren being who he was. “It’s been a few years, Ren.” Joel finally mumbled, ears flicking like he could hear something Ren couldn’t. “We’re safe. Grian can just be…a loose canon, sometimes.”
Hearing Joel admit that was refreshing, if Ren was honest with himself. It was nice to hear that Joel knew just how dangerous his living situation was. He didn’t say that though, just nodded, sticking his hands in his pockets to check to see if the directions were still there from where he stuffed it in the panic. “I mean, it was easier before that massive radiation wave hit this area.” Joel continued, glancing out of the corner of his eyes like he was checking to see if anyone else was coming outside. “Lizzie obviously got hit the hardest, but it didn’t leave any of us unscathed.” Joel offered a sarcastic wave of his hand around his head, several dots connecting in Ren’s head that made his heart hurt. The radiation must have sent Lizzie’s ability into overdrive, which was why she could no longer talk without it hurting everyone around her.
“I’m so sorry dude-”
“I don’t need sympathy.” Joel cut off his apology, something sharp in his voice that had Ren taking a step back. “We’re fine. All three of us are making it just fine.”
Three of them?
Confusion must have shown on Ren’s face at that statement, since Joel’s misplaced anger quickly morphed into something like pity. “Ren, Etho hasn’t lived with us for…four years? Something like that.”
Four years. That meant-
“He left after the wave. Couldn’t take all the…everything anymore.” Joel continued, oblivious to the internal struggle Ren was having.
“Do you…” It really wasn’t Ren’s business, whatever Etho was doing or where he ended up. Etho didn’t want anything to do with Ren. It should be like Gem, where Ren was only here for her because Scar asked him to, because the community would be worse off without her. No personal reasoning behind the visit other than that. That’s how Ren should be with Etho. “Do you know where he went?”
Sadly, Ren was always going to be at least a little bit in love with Etho, and that meant knowing where he was. The fact he thought Etho was safe with Joel, Lizzie and Grian and wasn’t made Ren’s gut clench even though it wasn’t his place to be worried. Joel was clearly pitying him now, the shake of his head making Ren’s stomach turn even more. “Where do you think that address leads, Ren?” Joel patted Ren’s shoulder twice, more of a painful reminder of the past than anything comforting. “Do yourself a favor, get Tango or Scar to go. Don’t do this to yourself.”
Nodding once, Ren’s grip on the paper grew tighter at the knowing look Joel gave him. “He’s not the same, Ren.” Joel let out an empty laugh at his own comment, shaking his head before turning away. “Do what you want, I don’t know why I’m trying to help you. Just…” Joel gripped onto the door frame turning back to look at him one more time. “It’s good to see you alive.”
“Thanks, Joel. I’m glad you’re alive as well. Lizzie and Grian too.”
Joel’s grip grew, the chipped paint flaking down to the ground. “Sure, Ren. Get off my property.” Ren only made it a few steps into the backyard before Joel was calling out to him, desperation leaking into his voice that had Ren’s chest hurting. “When you find Gem, send her our way, okay? We…Lizzie misses her.”
When he found Gem. Not if, when.
“I’ll pass on the message. That Lizzie misses her.” Ren called back, letting out a laugh at the resulting grumbles Joel let out. “I’m sure she’ll be excited to see you guys again.”
More excited than seeing Ren, that was for sure.
……
Ren was getting really tired of squeaky gates. Joel’s, Cub’s, whoever owned this gate, all of them could use some WD40. It creaked loudly as soon as Ren pushed it open, which definitely gave away the fact he was there. The building he ended up at was some kind of warehouse, the sign up front weathered away. The lights were on though, and Ren had to wonder whether whoever lived here had some kind of generator to keep everything running.
Well, Ren guessed that Etho lived with someone. He could be roughing it on his own, but Ren didn’t think he would if he had another option.
“He’s not the same, Ren.”
Joel’s words bounced around his head as he walked up to what he assumed was the front door, at least when the building was still operating as normal. It was such a large place, would Etho even be able to hear him if he knocked?
Luckily, or unluckily depending on how Ren looked at it, the door swung open right as he raised his fist to knock. The person was about his height, huge bull horns making him look even larger. The nose ring really sold the whole look, along with the glare that accompanied it. “We’re not taking any more jobs right now.”
Oh, this very intimidating man thought Ren was coming here for help. Well, he was, but not in whatever way he thought Ren was. “Ah, actually, I’m not here to… hire you.” Ren tried putting on his most award winning smile. The man continued to look angry. “Um. I’m actually looking for someone-”
“What, haven’t found Jesus yet?”
There was a snicker from behind the bull-hybrid(?), another hybrid peaking around him with a mean smile on his face. “Who’s this?”
Ren couldn’t help but take a step back as the bull shifted to make room for the new guy, his massive wings covering up the rest of the doorway. “Haven’t asked, didn’t care either.” The bull-hybrid said, earning another snort before the bird offered a condescending sympathetic look. “What’s your name?”
“Uh,” Ren was starting to think he should’ve listened to Joel when he told him to ask someone else to go. Tango seemed like he would be able to talk with these guys a lot better than he was. “I don’t know if I feel comfortable telling you that.”
“Oh, Beef, he doesn’t feel comfortable telling us.” Ren took another step back as the two men laughed. “Well sweetheart, you’re on our turf.” The man’s smile dropped. “Name. Now. Or I let Beef skewer you like a kabob.”
Right.
“Ren.” Beef’s eyebrows shot up at Ren’s admission, the bird man’s eyes narrowing. “I’m looking for Eth-”
“LADDERS!” Ren flitched as Beef yelled, eyes never leaving Ren. “YOU GOT A VISITOR!”
There was no reply, no one moved to let Ren in. “You’ll have to forgive us, we didn’t know you were the infamous Ren.” The bird man said, the new smile on his face even more threatening than before. “I’m Skizz. You’d do well to remember that.”
Ren nodded, but before he could say anything else, there was a new voice entering the conversation. “Beef, if you scream at me one more time I swear I will choke you in your sleep-”
Etho.
Ren didn’t realize he was holding his breath until he had to let it go, Etho pushing past Skizz’s wings before freezing in his step. Multiple emotions crossed his face, even with the mask, before his expression shuttered into complete neutrality. “Hi.” Ren finally offered, voice choking on the single word and on the way Etho’s eyes immediately narrowed.
“I thought you said you wouldn’t use your ability.”
“I’m not.”
“Flirting is the number one way your ability works, Ren.”
“I’m not flirting!” Ren immediately went to clarify, the memory panging uncomfortably in his chest.
It was clear Etho was thinking the same thing, since a tiny wiry smile sliced across his face. “I’m well acquainted with how your powers work, Ren.”
Ouch.
The word change from abilities to powers wasn’t lost on Ren, but pushed aside, especially since Etho seemed about five seconds away from calling his attack dogs on him. It was a scary sight, two massive men with threatening qualities on either side of a man Ren knew could kick his ass. “You look old as shit. How many years has it been?” Etho’s voice had a cruel edge to it, digging right where he knew it would hurt. “Four?”
“Six.” Ren corrected, biting his lip as soon as he spoke. Skizz’s wings had fluffed up a bit like he was irritated that Ren was even talking. Etho had probably told these two everything, which meant none of the people in front of Ren were especially happy to see him. Ren was used to it, recently. “Joel said the same thing.”
Something flashed on Etho’s face at the name drop, but it quickly cleared before Ren could read into it. “So, you’re doing house visits? Got to be honest, I didn’t leave you my address for a reason-”
“Gem is missing. We haven’t seen her, Joel hasn’t seen her, he suggested I come here.” Ren cut Etho off with the explanation, figuring it would be better to get answers and leave before any of them could get more aggressive. Ren got what he wanted, confirmation that Etho was alive and well. Wanting anything more would be greedy, and Ren didn’t want to be greedy.
Being greedy was what led them to this mess in the first place.
Etho was clearly chewing on the side of his cheek, considering what Ren said silently. While Joel had shown that time had passed, Etho was still at what felt like the pinnacle of health, no wrinkle or scar in sight. Regen was kind, at least that what the scientists said back in the lab. Ren thought it was kind of sad, that your soul would age but your body would never tell the story. “Let him in.” Etho mumbled, turning around and missing the way all three of the other men’s mouths dropped. “I might have an idea where she ended up.”
……
Ren’s hands were shaking. His whole body felt like it was shaking, actually, but his hands were definitely showing his nerves the most. The fact Etho had let him in was enough to make him feel faint, and the fact he had immediately led him to his bedroom and pushed Skizz and Beef out almost made him pass out. Etho got the door closed with a slam, hitting against it until he was sure that his friends were out of ear shot.
Then he stared.
Ren really didn’t know what to do, so he sat on the edge of Etho’s bed and let him. Etho’s eyes slowly raked down and up, seemingly taking in every change Ren had during the six years, every scar and blemish. “I hate you.” Etho finally broke the silence with that, a simple statement that only held the truth. Still, it was aimed to kill, and it landed right where Etho wanted. Ren clenched his jaw tighter, Etho’s eyes flicking to the motion before it went back to his face as a whole. “Gem hates you too. Grian, Joel and Lizzie all really, really dislike you.”
“I am well aware of everyone’s feelings toward me-”
“So why are you putting yourself in the line of fire?” Etho asked, barreling over Ren’s own words with his own. “Why not send Tango?”
“You know how Tango and Gem are, we didn’t want to-”
“Is Tango still too sensitive?” Anger actually flared up at Etho’s question, at the way fake sympathy leaked into his voice in a taunting way. Etho’s eyes had lit up at Ren’s reaction, a fire flickering in them that had Ren struggling to keep his cool. “Still can’t do things for himself, has to send his big brothers to do the dirty work? And yet,” Etho stepped further into the room, once again looking Ren up and down with something close to disgust. “He would probably be handling this far better than you are. When did you get so scared, Ren?”
He had always been scared. The question wasn’t meant to be answered, Ren knew, especially since Etho knew the answer anyway. Ren was scared enough to break promises, to ruin his relationships with his friends to keep them safe. He was scared enough to lose one friend in order to save two, even if he was the only one who saw it like that. Etho had cornered him by this point, silent, cruel amusement shining in his eyes as Ren leaned back on his elbows in order to look Etho in the eyes. “I’m here because Scar and Cub asked me too.” Ren’s voice shook as Etho’s head slowly tilted to the side, hand coming up to wrap around his chin. Etho studied his face more carefully while Ren held his breath. “Gem and I don’t talk, but Scar wanted me to-”
“I didn’t ask for a whole story, Ren. I want to know when you got too scared to make your own decisions? What about what you want?”
“Grian’s problems are my problems, Ren. Team comes first.”
“What about what you want? Doesn’t that matter?”
Another callback, another way the two of them had changed roles. Etho’s fingers felt rough on Ren’s skin, but all he did was blink up at him and let him grip onto his chin tighter. “I want to find Gem. Because it will make more people happy, which will make me happy.”
Another round of silence, more emotions passing on Etho’s face. He was chewing on the side of his cheek again. “Depending on other people’s happiness for your own will only ruin you further.” Etho finally said, voice void of emotion. He chucked Ren’s face to the side, standing up straight and stepping away to give Ren some breathing room. “I haven’t seen Gem in…two months. Told me she was heading back to your community after her visit. If she didn’t end up there…” Etho popped his lips together, walking over to a cluttered desk and turning the chair around. He sat down backwards, leaning his arms on the backrest as he continued to study Ren. “She probably got caught. Not much we can do about that.”
… What?
“What?” Ren echoed his thoughts.
Rolling his eyes, Etho leaned further in the chair, making it balance on two legs for a moment before letting it clunk to the ground again. “Got caught. The wall? What’s behind it?” Ren must have had a blank look in his eyes, since Etho let out a mean, short laugh at his expression. “Dumb as rocks, just how you like em’.” He whispered to himself, like it was some kind of inside joke Ren wasn’t a part of. Etho cleared his throat, rolling up his sleeve to show off his wrist. “The wall. The one that was really close to the lab? Past that is a huge city. Like, I’m talking about hundreds of thousands of people there.”
Ren couldn’t help the way his mouth dropped at the number. On Etho’s wrist was some kind of symbol, something pointed at his pulse point but rounded at the bottom. “They have…a weird look on life, the people stuck in there. No one gets in, no one gets out.” Etho continued, letting his wrist drop. “At least, no one hears about people getting out.”
“...what does this have to do with Gem?” Ren slowly asked, watching something like irritation flash on Etho’s face at the interruption.
“I’m getting there.” He snapped, Ren holding out his hands in defense. “There are two teams that work for the Wall. The Heroes,” Etho’s voice oozed toxicity at the word, clearly not a fan of that group. “And us.”
“You work for the wall?” Ren couldn’t help the question, or how surprised it sounded.
Etho shrugged, but his nose wrinkled like he wasn’t happy about his choice either. “Better than the alternative.” Etho reached up, tugging his mask down and immediately shutting off Ren’s full frontal cortex with that one action. A mean smile flashed on Etho’s face as Ren’s eyes immediately fell on his lips like he knew what he was doing. “Heroes live inside the walls, do all the publicity and bullshit stuff like that, and we,” Etho shook his wrist around for a moment. “Do the dirty work. Track the civilians down that think they can escape, make sure they don’t make it five miles outwards.”
Wait, what?
Etho had said that so casually, like he wasn’t talking about what Ren thought he was talking about. “You…” Ren faded out, voice feeling weak.
Nodding, Etho rolled his shoulder out before looking knowingly at Ren. “If they’re dumb enough to climb a wall protecting them, they get what they get.”
He’s not the same, Ren.
Once again, Joel’s warning came back full force. Etho’s smile dropped, clearly not liking Ren’s reaction to his lifestyle. “It’s not like I’m killing people like us. That’s one thing our crew doesn’t do.”
“You’re still killing people though-”
Ren’s argument got stuck inside his throat, mostly due to the fact Etho’s hand shot out and wrapped around his neck in one fluid motion. Air was barely seeping through his grip, enough for Ren to reach for it and not pass out. “If I wanted comments, I would ask for them. I have no reason not to kill you right now, you should be grateful I’ve let you live this long.”
He should feel scared, Ren realized as Etho continued to watch him gasp for air. Nodding the best he could, Ren closed his eyes as Etho tightened his grip to fully cut off his airway. He should feel panicked at least, have some sort of self-preservation when it comes to situations like this. But it was Etho doing it to him, and maybe Ren thought he deserved it, if it was coming from Etho.
Ren pushed that thought out of his head.
“...Pathetic.” Etho finally bit out, letting Ren go with the same fluid motion from before. “We don’t collect supers, but the heroes I mentioned from before do. In fact, that's they’re whole gig. They come out, film some destroyed areas to claim how much better it is in there than out here, and ‘take down’ some random person with powers to take in to prove how powerful they are. They probably got Gem.”
It was hard to focus on what Etho was telling him when he was suddenly gifted the ability to breathe again. The room was spinning, loud breaths that had to be Ren filling the air. Two Etho’s watched him, both with frustrating neutrality. It took a few minutes for Ren to get his bearings, and when he did, Etho was already talking again. “Gem probably left here, got jumped by the hero team, got taken past the wall.”
He was so casual about it all, like Etho wasn’t talking about one of their closest friends. Ren coughed, then coughed again, trying to clear his throat. “So where do I go from here?” Ren finally managed to get out before coughing again.
“What do you mean?” Etho asked over Ren’s coughing, confusion leaking into his voice. “You go back to Cubs. Tell them Gem is gone for good.”
“Is she?” Ren immediately countered, watching Etho’s mouth tighten before remembering he shouldn’t be looking at his lips so often. “You said these ‘heroes’ take people like us past the wall, do they kill them afterwards?”
Etho paused, more emotions flashing on his face. “I mean,” Etho seemed almost confused with Ren’s line of thinking. “I don’t know. I’ve never been past the wall.”
It was enough for Ren. Standing up, Ren offered a tense smile and nod before standing up to leave. If he could get past the wall, he could find Gem and go from there. Etho had just said his group wouldn’t kill ability-inclined people like them, so it was really just getting past the so-called heroes. It couldn’t be that hard.
Ren didn’t get far before Etho wrapped a hand around his shoulder to stop him, confusion clear on his face once Ren turned around. “What are you doing?” Etho asked, voice harsh and judgemental like Ren was doing something wrong. Maybe he was, maybe anything he did would cause this reaction.
“Going to find Gem.”
“I just told you it was useless.”
“No,” Ren pushed Etho’s hand off his shoulder as gently as he could, ignoring the way Etho’s nails seemed to dig into his skin as soon as Etho realized what he was doing. “You told me you had no idea what happened past the wall.”
Etho glared, hand immediately coming back to grip harder on Ren’s shoulder to keep him in the room. “Same thing. Ren,” Etho’s nails broke skin as soon as Ren tried to get out, forcing him to bite back a hiss. “You can’t make it back over the wall once you get in, especially if you go in as a powered person. Don’t be stupid.”
“I guess we’ll see.”
The low, frustrated noise Ren’s answer pulled out of Etho was new. It sent a shiver down Ren’s spine, something chilling in it that had Ren freezing up. “Ren. You won't make it. These normal people that get over? Years of training, and then they get snipped up by us anyway. Gem isn’t worth it-”
“Does she know you think about her like that?” Froze at Ren’s question, an angry edge finally making its way into his voice. “She adores you, Etho. I mean, she would have to, to keep coming and visiting when you’re-” Ren cut himself off, letting the unsaid words hit Etho before continuing. Etho looked down at the ground. “I can’t go back without her. Tango would flip out on me for not trying to save her-”
“-like you did with Pearl-”
“-like I did with you.” Ren ripped out of Etho’s grasp, hissing again at the pain before backing up when Etho reached for him again. “Like I did with Gem, and will do again for her.” Etho stared at him, hands curled into fists as he slowly rose from the chair. The backwall was a cruel reminder of just how fucked Ren was if Etho went off the handle, especially since Etho was slowly closing the gap. “Why do you care anyway? I thought you’d want me dead.”
Etho stopped mid-step, fingers twitching at his sides. “I don’t care.”
“You’re acting like you care.”
“I don’t.”
“Then it shouldn’t matter if I try to find Gem before I get killed or not.”
The silence was loaded, something like fire burning in Etho’s eyes. Ren was cornered, pinned against the far wall thanks to Etho’s eye-contact. He didn’t think he’d make it if he tried to run, Skizz and Beef would catch him even if Etho didn’t. “I really, really, hate you.” Etho grumbled, shoulders slumping with the complaint before turning back around. Ren could only stare as Etho started walking around the room, grabbing a bag from under his bed and ripping it open. “Gem isn’t even going to appreciate this, not if it’s you.”
“I’m used to that, by this point.” Ren responded immediately, but his voice sounded lost. Etho continued to rip apart his room, stuffing things into the bag haphazardly. “What are you doing?”
Rolling his eyes, Etho glanced up at Ren while trying to zip up the bag. “What does it look like I’m doing?”
“I didn’t invite you.”
The laugh Etho let out was short, mean in its entirety. “You wouldn’t make it a day without me.” That wasn’t what Ren meant, and he had a feeling Etho knew that. Ren didn’t invite Etho because if Ren was going on a suicide mission, he would prefer Etho still alive by the end of it. That, and the fact he didn’t think Etho wanted to be within fifty miles of him.
Etho slung the bag over his shoulder, sleeve rolling up just enough for Ren to get a glimpse of the new tattoo on his wrist before Etho was standing right in front of him. “What?” Etho’s voice was back to the cruel, taunting tone from before, his free hand curling into the fabric of Ren’s shirt to tug him closer. Ren’s breath hitched, heart beating out of time at the proximity. “Are you going to force me to stay?”
Ren didn’t like mirrors. Ren didn’t like seeing himself day to day, because it was a constant reminder of what he had done in his life. But with Etho staring him down, a sick, twisted smile so clearly on his face, Ren wished he had settled his past before coming back to it. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad. Maybe Ren would be able to dodge the knives Etho was throwing instead of letting them cut deep.
“No,” Ren croaked out, voice cracked and broken. Etho’s smile just grew. “I’ll even give you the keys.”
Something flashed on Etho’s face again, the painful reminder that Ren didn’t know how to read his expression anymore before it shuttered off again. Etho’s grip on Ren’s shirt tightened, then relaxed. “I had a feeling you’d say that.” He let go, pulling his mask up again while turning away. “I have to explain where I’m going to Skizz and Beef. Go wait by the front door.” Ren blinked, barely breathing even as Etho walked towards the door. He watched Etho open the door, glancing back to give one more look at Ren. His mouth opened, then closed, jaw tightening slightly before he turned back around. “I’m not a very patient person, Ren. Get your ass out of my room.”
Ren didn’t have anything to say to that, the days traveling and emotions shoved to the side finally coming back full force. Etho was coming with him. It was his worst nightmare, his best daydream. He had made a decision six years ago, one he still considered to be the best thing he could’ve done at that moment, but it had haunted him longer than he wished it had. It still haunted him, if Ren was honest with himself. Pearl was a lingering ghost for all of them, and Ren knew everyone blamed her death on him.
Finding Gem really was the least he could do. He didn’t think he’d be welcomed back home if he didn’t find her.
Etho looked more and more irritated the longer Ren stood there silent, but he was finding it hard to move. Forcing his feet forward, Ren tried to avoid brushing past Etho as he held the door open for him. It didn’t work, the space too small for both of them to fit. Ren could hear the way Etho’s breath hitched, and could see how just the simple touch that wasn’t planned made him jump back. “Sorry.” Ren mumbled, stepping further back to give him room.
Another moment of Etho looking slightly like a fish out of water, mouth opening and closing before he roughly shoved his bag at Ren. He took it, fumbling a bit as Etho waved him off. “Go downstairs. I’ll be fast.”
Etho left him like that, rushing off in a totally different direction. He was clearly in a hurry to get away from Ren, but the moment was so reminiscent of a past Etho, someone so flustered by just a little bit of physical contact it had Ren chuckling a bit to himself. Even when they were so different, they were still the same people underneath. Maybe that was why Ren listened, walking to the front door and waiting for Etho to be ready. He was used to that as well, waiting for Etho.
Ren figured it didn’t matter if he got killed trying to find Gem, because watching Etho come down the stairs a few minutes later, just as perfect as he remembered, he realized Etho coming with him might kill him first.