Chapter Text
It had been around two weeks since the accident at the ice-house.
Not much had changed during the period of isolation for Reo, well, nothing dramatic at the very least.
On that day, Reo had stayed at the hospital for several hours, watching over Nagi, as well as his other friends, as he rested peacefully. That day was the first of many in Nagi’s long recovery.
Chigiri looked after Nagi almost full time, considering he was no longer on speaking terms with his parents due to him leaving Legion. Although, with bruised ribs there wasn’t much to look after.
Nagi’s clear instructions were to avoid any strenuous activities whilst in recovery. He found it amusing however, since his day-to-day life consisted of sleeping, playing video games and maybe eating once in a while if he really needed to.
Chigiri’s main job was to make sure Nagi actually looked after himself properly. He would cook him meals for lunch and dinner, as he often didn’t wake up before the early afternoon, so there was no need for breakfast.
Nagi still streamed, and didn’t mention his injuries online, he continued to act as normal during his recovery, though his streams were typically shorter in length, talking had been a bit strenuous for him.
Reo and his friends often visited, though his visits had seemed lackluster as he was never able to stay long.
…
Once Reo had arrived home the night of the accident, his mother hadn’t spoken a word to him, nor did he utter a word to her. Not much has changed in two weeks, his mother still having not spoken a single word to Reo.
Though he assumed, through her silence, that she had not told his father about what had happened, nor what his life had been looking like in recent times.
His father had seemed normal, as normal as he’s ever been, though the direct definition of normal was nothing like Reo’s father.
He would be gone most days, leaving Reo and his mother at home alone, they would ignore each other until his father would return home. They’d have dinner, and then go their separate ways again, his father usually going to the studio to work collaboratively with some of his artists.
Sometimes his mother would join him, or he would take her place.
He knew it was for the best to focus on music during this time.
At least if his mother had said anything, he would likely be in his fathers good-book for having taken music on almost full time before Christmas.
His parents had planned a vacation overseas during the Christmas and new years season, they were interested in recruiting talent from all across the globe, and were excited to expand their family at Corporation with the addition of foreign artists.
Three days before Christmas, both Chigiri and his parents were set to embark on their foreign adventures, though Chigiri was staying far closer to home than his parents.
Reo’s parents had boarded their flight early in the morning, therefore Reo hadn’t been able to give them a proper send off, as he was asleep at home by the time they had left.
On the other hand, Chigiri’s flight was in the evening, giving Reo the freedom to visit his friend during the day before his trip.
He had left his home just before noon, shooting his red-headed friend a text message that he was on his way as he walked to his place.
On his way, he stopped by their favourite bakery once again, purchasing three pastries before setting foot for Chigiri’s once again.
It felt like deja vu, the trek to Chigiri’s building was so familiar, the same route he had taken the night of his party all those weeks ago.
Even the cold breeze that swayed in his face was just the same as he stepped foot into the freezing building, the elevator taking him up to Chigiri’s penthouse.
The redhead greeted him with a giant smile at the door.
There were two big suitcases by the front entrance of his home, packed up and ready to go on their adventure.
Kunigmai was dressed already, drinking coffee at the kitchen counter, whilst Chigiri was still in sleepwear, sweats and an off the shoulder sweater. Though his hair had seemed freshly washed and styled.
The warmth of Chigiri’s home was awfully nostalgic, he felt at peace whenever he had walked in here, as if his troubles were entirely freed from his mind.
“I’m glad you could make it before we go,” Chigiri said, taking Reo by the hand and dragging him further into his home, taken aback, he swiftly pulled his shoes off by the front door.
“Of course, It’s a shame we won’t be able to spend Christmas together though,” Reo had said with a slight laugh. “Make sure to take lots of pictures for us.”
“Don’t worry, we will! Rensuke turns into the biggest tourist when we travel, it’s almost embarrassing,” Chigiri joked, and Kunigami almost spit out his coffee all over the counter. “I like to live in the moment, he takes pictures to look back on out trip, it’s quite endearing I'd say.”
“I’m a big ‘living in the moment’ guy, but then I regret it once I'm back home,” Reo said, a hand rubbing the back of his head as he laughed awkwardly.
It was true, Reo did travel a lot, especially in his youth. Though his memories weren’t as favourable as he grew older, some destinations a mere fact that he had visited, with no memories to encase the joy.
He used to own a digital camera, his parents had gifted it to him when he was ten, and he had used it to take pictures on his trips for about two years, until the SD card was full.
Unfortunately, he lost the SD card before he could even look back on any of the photos he had taken. Nonetheless, twelve year-old Mikage Reo was devastated.
“Well, next time I hope there’s no regrets, take those pictures,” Kunigami chuckled as he sipped on the final drops of his coffee, placing the mug into the sink, washing it out.
“If there is a next time, I haven’t travelled in a while, my parents just left for a two week holiday to Europe without me this morning,” Reo said, his expression changing to a disapproving one, he shook his head sarcastically.
Both the boys muttered a laugh at Reo’s sarcasm.
“Next time we plan a trip, we’re all going,” Chigiri declared, passing on the pastries Reo had brought to his boyfriend.
The three stood in a melancholy silence as they chowed down on their pastries, just as they had done all those weeks ago.
Chigiri was the first to finish, throwing the wrapper into the trash and washing his hands in the kitchen sink.
“Oh Reo! Would you mind checking up on Nagi every once in a while?” He asked, the water running had awfully distorted his voice, his request unclear.
“Huh?” Reo managed, his mouth full.
He turned the knob and the flowing water had disappeared. He wiped his hands in a paper towel as he spoke.
“Nagi - can you check up on him while we’re gone?” Chigiri repeated and Reo nodded his head through his bites. “I’ll leave you my keycard.”
“Yeah, no worries, is there any reason though?” Reo had asked, scrunching up the wrapper to his pastry, holding it in his clenched fist.
“He doesn’t look after himself, especially not after his injury,” Kunigami had interrupted, after finishing his own pastry. “Just a visit every once and again.”
Reo furrowed his eyebrows and smirked slightly, taken aback by their comments.
“He’s not a baby, I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Reo replied nonchalantly, shifting his weight to his other leg.
The opposing two boys simply gave each other a look, their eyes meeting as if speaking a hundred words, though they hadn’t opened their mouths once.
“Listen, Reo, I’ve known Nagi for a long time,” Chigiri began, leaning against the entrance way of his kitchen. “He’s not the type to care for himself, he thinks everything is too hard.”
Reo nodded slowly as Chigiri continued.
“When he started at Hakuho, he was so quiet, and disconnected, the school board had called his parents to discuss his lack of interest in school,” Chigiri said, his eyebrows furrowed slightly as he stared at the floor. “They thought he was depressed, it was a whole thing.”
Hakuho? Nagi had gone to his school?
At this point it wasn’t surprising, considering he was living in the same building as Chigiri. Reo was at a point where his luck had clearly outdone him.
“What I’m saying is, he needs a little encouragement, someone to talk to,” Chigiri spoke, looking up at Reo with a small smile. “Plus, he’s taken quite a liking to you, which is rare for him.”
Reo had flushed at Chigiri’s finalising statement, his hand flying to his cheek to hide the burning from his friends.
Kunigami chuckled as he passed by Chigiri, who was grinning ear to ear.
“You’re still the same as back then, always so flustered,” Chigiri teased.
“I could say so many things right now- you’re lucky I have self restraint,” Reo responded, the tip of his ears glowing a bright red as he turned away from Chigiri, who laughed at the purple-haired boy's antics.
The boys had enjoyed each other's company for a few hours, talking and rediscovering memories from highschool, sharing some of their core memories throughout their friendship.
Reo had had a great time with his old friends, it had felt as though they hadn’t spent all those years apart. Though their time together had passed faster than expected.
The three boys said their goodbyes, and promptly made their way to the airport. Reo waved them goodbye at the front of the building as they drove away in their uber, a flyaway of dirt arose from under the tires as they gradually faded away.
The boy had waited until the car was out of eyesight to head back inside the building. It was chilly, and he had barely any layers on, certainly not enough to be outside at this time of year.
The building was delightfully heated as Reo made his way back into the elevator, stopping on Nagi’s floor of the building. He hoped the boy wasn’t asleep despite just breaking evening time.
He knocked on the door, despite having a keycard. He wouldn’t have even imagined practically breaking into his friend's home - considering he’d never been inside.
The purple-haired heir waited patiently on the other side of the door, pondering whether or not he should text Nagi to see if he was even home.
He raised his hand to knock once more, but just before his knuckles hit the door's surface, it opened slightly.
He saw Nagi’s beady eyes poke through the small gap he had made in the door, his eyebrows raised slightly and his gaze softened upon seeing Reo, who offered a polite smile. Nagi swung the door open fully, revealing himself dressed in none other than sweatpants and a hoodie.
“Reo,” the white-haired boy started, his mouth standing open though no words came out.
“Sorry for the intrusion, is now a bad time?” Reo asked in a chuckle, and Nagi simply threw his head behind him, scanning his home frantically.
“I wasn’t expecting anyone,” Nagi admitted, as he moved to the side of the door so Reo could enter. Reo stepped in, and promptly slid his shoes off before the white-haired boy closed the door behind them. “Sorry for the mess.”
Reo scanned the large living room for the ‘mess’ Nagi was talking about. There were clothes piled on the chair of his dining table, the sole chair which was accompanied by a tiny table.
The couch had some pillows which were out of place, but it wasn’t anywhere near messy.
If Reo was being honest, he had expected Nagi to be far messier than this.
“What mess? You should see my bedroom at home,” Reo laughed as he picked up two pillows and stood them straight up onto the couch.
Nagi hummed in response, and Reo looked up at him, his head turned slightly.
“What’s up?” Reo asked, his tone conveyed his genuine confusion, the white hair boy had seemed oddly uncomfortable.
“I’m kinda in the middle of a stream,” Nagi replied, and Reo’s mouth opened to form an ‘O.’ “It’s fine though, I can end it now.”
Reo shook his head.
“No! I mean, you can if you want to but don’t end it just cause I’m here, I showed up unannounced anyway,” Reo panicked through his words and Nagi smiled slightly at his overreaction.
“Twenty minutes, and then how about we order some dinner? Are you hungry?” Nagi asked, as he walked towards the entryway of his bedroom, he leaned his body against the doorframe.
“Dinner sounds good,” Reo said, taking a seat on the couch, the boy in front of him simply nodded and slid the closing door behind him, leaving it with a sliver of space open.
It was a few moments before he heard muffled sounds on the other end of the door, seemingly Nagi had resumed his stream where he left off.
Reo certainly wasn’t one to eavesdrop, but Nagi had left the door slightly open that his voice peered through unwillingly.
“I’m gonna have to end the stream earlier today,” Nagi announced. He had heard immense typing and clicking as if he were fixing his software. “I have a guest over.”
There was silence for a moment before he heard a grunt of annoyance from his friend.
“It is not my girlfriend, what’s wrong with you guys,” Nagi said, his tone slightly disgusted as he resumed his game. “Why are you guys ordering dinner? How did you even hear that?”
…
“I was unmuted? Of course I was.”
“Why am I so secretive today? I’m not being secretive, I just have a life guys.” Nagi said, his tone obviously irritated, though Reo chuckled at his last remark.
“Girlfriend reveal? Firstly, ‘he’ is not my girlfriend, plus he’s camera-shy-” Nagi was cut off by Reo’s laughter in the living room, he tried to cover his mouth but Nagi called out.
“What are you laughing at?” His voice echoed through the door, though his tone was no louder than his typical speaking level.
“Nothing!” Reo called out, cupping his hands against his mouth to make his voice louder than usual.
“Hilarious, “ he had heard Nagi say as he continued to click and type his way through the game.
Reo had stood from his seat on the couch and opened the door slightly to Nagi’s room, peeking in to make sure his webcam wasn’t on (it was not).
Nagi noticed his presence, though he continued to play out the game until he had eventually killed the final player, ranking first place.
Nagi had closed down the game quickly and all that was left was his blank desktop.
He stopped to read a few more messages out in chat before finalising the stream.
“Boyfriend reveal? Did you hear that one?” Nagi had said, quieter this time, and Reo simply giggled in response, though his cheeks had forged a red tint.
“He’s not denying it- You guys aren’t gonna believe me either way so I’m not even gonna bother defending myself,” Nagi retaliated, pressing a single button and muting his microphone on his stream.
“I usually put my facecam on to say goodbye, you should probably move so they don’t see you,” Nagi started, his face held a glimpse of worry, which Reo shut down.
“How about I wave from behind you, they won’t see my face that way,” Reo suggested, he was certainly one to feed the delusions of Nagi’s chat in one way or another.
Nagi adjusted his webcam to a downward position, therefore only showing around half of Reo’s body. He wasn’t wearing any overly fancy clothes, so there was little chance anybody would recognise him.
He gave Nagi a thumbs up, and he had unmuted his microphone and turned his webcam on within a few seconds, Reo hid behind his chair as he said his goodbye.
“Well that’s about the end of stream today, I’ll be live tomorrow again at the same time so stop by if you can,” Nagi had said, and Reo moved into frame, waving with two hands, Nagi followed his actions.
His chat had begun to blow up as he said his final goodbye, clicking on the end stream button and after a while, he was disconnected. The white-haired boy sighed in defeat, sinking back into his chair.
“They love to mess with you, don’t they?” Reo joked, taking Nagi's headphones from his head, and giving his hair a gentle ruffle, in an attempt to not mess it up too bad.
Nagi shut his eyes as Reo placed his headphones down on the table, his hand lingering in his snowy locks, a simple ‘mm’ was all he got as a response.
Reo spun Nagi’s chair around and offered him a hand to sit up from his (overly) slouched position, which he took happily. The purple-haired boy dragged his friend up, halsting him to his feet in a quick motion, surprising the white-haired boy.
“You promised me dinner,” Reo joked, nudging his friend as he practically dragged him out of his bedroom, their hands firmly clasped together, their warmth combining.
By the time they managed to get to the kitchen, Nagi had already pulled out his phone to search for food places nearby, he browsed a range, not knowing Reo’s preferences.
“What do you like to eat?” Nagi asked, defeated.
Reo pulled his hand away as he scooched closer to Nagi, they both leaned against the kitchen counter, Reo’s head lingered near Nagi’s chest as he glared closely at the phone screen.
He browsed the suggested options, using his finger to scroll until he came across a simple noodle bar.
“How about this place?” Reo pointed at the suggested listing, Nagi simply peered at the phone with squinted eyes.
“Mizuki’s?” Nagi asked, clicking onto the all too familiar listing, Reo simply nodded. “I eat there with Isagi all the time.”
Reo’s eyebrows raised as he took a second look at the listing, the corners of his mouth raised to form a smile.
“Then you can order something for me, since you know what’s good,” Reo suggested and Nagi instantly shut him down.
“No, you choose something, I don’t know what you like,” Nagi said, quite exasperatedly, his eyes shining at Reo.
Reo watched him for a brief moment, his sheer panic over food made him curious as to how much Nagi actually knew about himself.
“Well, I like fairly plain foods, spice is okay, just not too much, and I’m good with any sauces and dressing as long as they don’t take away from the original taste of the food,” Reo said, listing his preferences on his fingers as Nagi followed along. “I’m not picky, whatever you choose I’ll like it.”
Nagi sighed and tapped on the website, opting for two different bowled meals. He demanded Reo to try both dishes first and to eat whichever he liked more. Reo could only laugh at his utter seriousness at that moment.
After ordering their food, they both took a seat on the couch, Reo sitting with his legs outstretched on the L-shape corner of the sofa, whilst Nagi sat cross legged next to him, switching on the television.
Reo watched as Nagi stared at the changing frames on the screen with his full attention, it was almost cute seeing how focused he was on watching a show.
His lips were slightly parted and his eyes were opened a little wider than his typical look, though Reo had no idea how he could see through his long bangs,
Out of nowhere, his thoughts were cut short as Nagi winced in pain, his hand shooting to his side.
“What’s wrong?” Reo bounced up from his seat, he sat on his knees, inching closer to the boy who offered a sarcastic laugh, shaking his head.
“I’m not supposed to sit up for a long time, they said I slouch too much, it hurts my ribs,” Nagi replied, rubbing gently at his side.
Reo had almost forgotten that’s why he was here, to check in on Nagi because of his injury. He owed it to him, he got hurt because of Reo.
“Do you want to lay down?” Reo offered, sitting back down with his legs outstretched, he tapped on his lap twice.
“Are you sure? I’m pretty heavy,” Nagi asked, his voice hitched as he moved painfully.
“Nothing I can’t handle,” Reo reassured, and that’s all the convincing Nagi needed before gently flopping onto Reo’s lap, flat on his back, his head resting on the warmth of Reo’s legs.
Nagi stared up at Reo, who moved a few pieces of the white-haired boy’s hair, the strands fell to the side of his face, framing his perfect portrait.
Without his bangs in the way, Reo finally got a full view of Nagi’s face.
His eyebrows were darker than his natural hair, almost grey-ish black colour, which was harmonious with his dark grey eyes. They shined back up at Reo, his long eyelashes fluttering with every blink he took. His cheeks were full, yet he could still easily see how chiseled his jawline was.
Reo’s hand reached to caress the boy's hair, Nagi made no complaint as his fingers slid through his soft locks. Nagi’s hair on the daily had looked unmanaged, though to the touch, he had never felt smoother hair before Nagi.
The boy before him had closed his dull eyes, though to Reo, they shined as bright as the moon.
“Nagi?” Reo had whispered after some time, the boy murmured a response that was too quiet to hear. “You’re really pretty.”
Nagi opened his eyes as if on command, his eyebrows furrowed slightly as he opened his mouth to object.
“You must have low standards,” Nagi responded. “I expected a Mikage to have some sort of class.”
Reo chuckled a laugh as he ruffled the boy's hair with little force, he wiggled in complaint in his lap.
“I’m serious, you have really beautiful features,” Reo retaliated, his voice soft.
“Tell me then,” Nagi replied hastily, the look in his eyes telling Reo he was dead serious.
“Um-” Reo stuttered, staring down at the boy, losing his cool; his face grew pink.
“Well, for starters, you have really clear skin which isn’t very common amongst guys,” Reo started and Nagi signalled for him to continue.
“Your eyes are really big, which is unusual, yet they suit you so well, especially the colour,” Reo continued.
“My eyes are so bland, they’re boring,” Nagi offered his opinion, which Reo shut down.
“That’s not true, they’re shiny and pretty, like the moon,” Reo said, slightly offended. Nagi didn’t offer a backhanded response, meaning Reo could continue.
“Your hair on its own is gorgeous, the colour, the cut, it’s so soft, I don’t think I’ve met anyone with softer hair than yours, it’s unnatural,” Reo laughed as his fingers continued to caress the hair he talked about so delicately.
“Your nose has a perfect slope,” Reo said gently, taking a finger from his free hand to slide down the boy's nose. “No bumps or anything.”
Nagi turned his face away from Reo as his finger moved away.
“And this,” Reo followed the perfect curve of Nagi’s jaw with two fingers. “Your jawline is so strong and prominent, but your cheeks are so full.”
“Is that backhanded?” Nagi asked, his head flipping straight back up to look Reo in the eyes.
“Not at all, just cute I guess,” Reo said, turning away as his cheeks continued to grow darker in shades of pink.
“Then are those your personal preferences?” Nagi had asked, his hand clasping on top of Reo’s in his hair. Reo didn’t even give Nagi’s question a second thought.
“I’d say so, you have what every person dreams of, and if they can’t have it, they want it in their partner,” Reo replied, looking back down at the boy who stared daggers into Reo’s eyes. “What?”
“So, am I your type?” Nagi asked, sitting up slightly, holding himself up on his elbows, not daring to disconnect their eye contact.
Reo was taken aback by his question, he felt as if he was going to choke.
“That’s not what I meant-” Reo pulled his hand away from Nagi, panickingly shaking his hands and head in disagreement.
“Then what else is that supposed to mean?” Nagi had completely sat up at that point, the warmth of his head and body had left Reo all too cold.
“I-” Reo pleaded, his eyes closing in defeat, he sighed promptly before opening his mouth to speak again. “I didn’t really think before I spoke.”
Nagi remained quiet as he stared at Reo, his eyes seemed sad, oh so sad it drove Reo insane.
“Nagi?” Reo asked, his voice ever so quiet as he reached out to place his hand on the other's knee, he didn’t object.
“You make no sense,” Nagi finally managed, his voice came out quieter than usual and his eyes fell down to the purple-haired boy's hand.
“I’m sorry,” Reo said, his eyebrows furrowed as the words flew out of his mouth. “I’m sorry, I probably made you uncomfortable-”
Reo went to move his hand away from Nagi, but he quickly placed his own atop of Reo’s, stopping his touch from disappearing.
He didn’t speak for a little while, his eyes focused on nothing else but where their hands connected, warming up against each other.
Reo did nothing but stare at his friend before him, his heart was hurting simply watching his slight change in expression. His lips were pursed, and his eyebrows were furrowed just the smallest bit, you wouldn't catch it if you were further away.
With little time to react, Nagi’s head had shot up, looking Reo straight in the eyes with those gorgeous, shining irises.
“Reo,” he said, oh so softly.
“Nagi,” was all Reo could respond with, his heart pounding against his chest, as if begging to escape.
…
“I really, really like you,” Nagi said, finally, his expression more serious than he had ever seen. “But all you’re doing is confusing me.”
Reo opened his mouth to speak, but the words he searched so desperately for couldn’t be found.
Nagi’s eyes pleaded for any type of reaction, anything, and Reo couldn’t give him what he wanted.
“I’m sorry, I think I should go,” Reo said, pulling his hand from under Nagi’s, running it through his own purple locks.
He went to stand from his seat on the couch - he felt a hand grab his wrist just as he began to walk away. He turned to face the white-haired boy, his pleading expression, full of desperation, Reo could feel his eyes stinging just looking at Nagi .
“Just tell me now, do you like me or do you not?” Nagi said, his tone displayed his sadness too well, he couldn’t hide it.
Reo stared at him with his eyes wide; growing blurry at the sight of his friend who begged in front of him, his grip was so intense on his arm.
“Even if I did, we could never be together,” Reo finalised, forcing his gaze away from Nagi. He was a horribly liar, he knew that ever since elementary school. Though at this moment, his lie was partially true, in a way.
He did like Nagi, so much so that he could say he loved him. He loved his face, he loved his voice, he loved his silly, antisocial antics. Reo loved Nagi, and yet, despite it all, they would never be able to be in love; peacefully.
His parents would never approve of Nagi, even though he cut all contact with his parents.
His own parents didn’t even know Reo was into guys, let alone The Nagi Seishirou.
…
He pulled his hand away once more, the boy's grip loosened and Reo was able to escape from the torment of his broken heart.
“I’m sorry Nagi, I can’t do this,” Reo said, his back facing towards the white-haired boy, who offered no word in response.
Reo quickly picked up his things, slipped his shoes on, and left through the front entrance without another word leaving his mouth.
He paced through the lobby, his vision blurry. He wiped at his tears with his forearm as he managed his escape from this building of forbidden love.
He was ashamed of himself, in total honesty.
Reo had been the one to initiate such intimate touch, such praise and tender words which forced Nagi’s confession out of him. He was a complete idiot.
It was dark out, the snow had been falling throughout the day and was now at peace. Despite it all, Reo rushed towards home, his deep, hitched breaths blew back into his face with every exhale. His tears froze against his skin, as they continued to fall unwillingly the entire trek home.
Upon his arrival, the house was still, not the presence of even a single person was found. It was awfully fitting for this moment, Reo thought.
His thoughts unaligned, his cheeks bright red, his eyes half closed as tears continued to pour. He was happier than a gold medalist in this moment, for no one was there to see him cry.
He could pour his heart out, let his heart leak out before him with no judgement, no bitter words, no fighting; simply peace.
He was so alone, and yet, that’s all he could ask for at this moment, as he ran to his bedroom as a child would, escaping imaginary creatures in the safety of under the covers.
There, he sobbed into his pillow as it soaked it all up like a sponge.
Reo’s tears were unstoppable, he cried like a baby for his mother, he cried like the little boy he was back in elementary. He cried like the teenager he was once, for not being able to love who he wanted.
He cried as the adult, who wanted nothing more than to have kissed his rival, despite the consequences.
He cried until he fell asleep, his tears finally stilled as the comfort of his bed engulfed him entirely.
His thoughts had paused, and his heart at peace.