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Warm.
Dazai woke up slowly, noticing he was warm. Usually it’d be cold, too cold, but he was used to it. He was used to the cold, the aching cold that was there, everywhere.
Today however, was warm. Warm that was off putting, the kind of warm that’s too comforting that he knew something was a bit… wrong.
But it wasn’t.
Nothing was wrong.
Dazai noticed arms tightly but not too tight wrapped around his waist. As he looked down, he also saw a kind of orange hue of hair.
Oh, Chuuya.
Dazai nearly forgot what happened yesterday.
…
He remembered it was past midnight, judging by the sky outside of his window. His knees close to his chest, as he carried a knife and began to slit everywhere, from arms to his waist and to his thighs.
Then pain started to creep up everywhere. It was painful. He hated pain, he really, really, hated pain.
But he deserved it, he was too tired and lazy to care at this point anyway.
He saw his skin slowly oozing out blood. Everywhere he looked, more blood and blood started to seep from him to the floor.
From the sight, he felt… tears. Tears? Crying? Dazai Osamu, crying? This wasn’t him, he never cried. The Dazai Osamu from the Armed Detective Agency never cried.
But he did anyway.
His wounds stinged from his tears, every single part of him hurt. It was continuous pain all over.
He continued crying, but then turned into sobs then eventually heart wrenching screams that he doesn’t think he can ever replicate again.
It was okay, he deserved it. It was fine.
However he knew well deep down that it wasn’t fine, it never was.
He suddenly felt a wave of numbness and his eyes closing on its own.
Suddenly, the color orange was displayed in his head.
Orange…?
…Why’d he think of the color orange?
He couldn’t lie, it was comforting, thinking about the color orange.
It’s warm, vibrant, bright, and always catching his eye no matter where he looks. The color reminds Dazai of the sun.
It was weird, however.
Orange is a weird color.
But Dazai likes the color orange.
Whatever, he didn’t care about it anymore. At least he’d finally die, though. As he’s always wanted to as a young child.
Oh.
Dazai hears his door being busted open and someone holding him.
Goddamnit, someone found him. He’d never forgive them if he ever found out who this person was.
He wanted to die, he definitely didn’t want to be in this world anymore. Dazai had enough, he was done.
He became a good man, like what Odasaku told him to do before Dazai left the Port Mafia. But now, he really can’t do it anymore. He doesn’t want to try.
But with this person in the way, with this person saving Dazai, he has to try again, to live again.
He’d rather try to kill himself. He’s running out of ideas on his next suicidal plan.
Dazai can’t think of ideas to try and die.
It was like he was rejected from death itself.
He immediately screams in pain as he tries to get away from this person.
“Dazai?! Dazai! Shit, shit. Don’t die on me, okay?! Fuck. Wait, let me get the first aid kit. I swear to god. Please be okay…” Chuuya curses and lets go of him.
Dazai looks at him, “Orange.” He lets out.
Chuuya looks visibly confused, noticing Dazai had a smile on his face. He was also terrified, considering the fact that Dazai had a pool of blood on him and was on the verge of dying from blood loss.
Dazai feels himself about to pass out.
Chuuya leaves and comes back to him with the first aid kit and notices Dazai passed out.
“Oh fuck.” Chuuya curses again.
Chuuya quickly bandages up his body and carries him to his bed.
Chuuya sighs as he notices Dazai’s weight has become slightly lighter than he last carried him.
…
After recollecting his memories, Dazai tried getting up but was met with only pain aching all over.
“Don’t get up. Your scars will open again. I don’t wanna bandage you up again.” Chuuya sheepishly says.
Dazai, who wasn’t in the mood to talk, sank back into bed.
Chuuya replied after, “I called your agency friends and told them you needed a week of break.”
Dazai cuddles chuuya in response to that, as a thank you.
“Yeah, you should thank me.” Chuuya laughs.
Moments pass and Chuuya immediately realizes something.
“Oh, I forgot to ask, but before I was going to get a first aid kit but you said—”
“Orange?” Dazai lets go of him and asks.
Chuuya pauses, but responds with, “Yeah…”
“You’re the color orange. You’re like the sun, Chuuya.”
Dazai looks down below to look at him for a response, but is met with a flustered and shocked Chuuya.
“Awww, little Chuuya is flustered now with that compliment huh~???” Dazai teases.
Chuuya retorts, “Huh?! No! Of course not! Also, don’t call me by that nickname again, shitty Dazai.”
“Oh ho ho~ Chuuya’s on his tsundere side of him now? I see, I see.” Dazai laughs.
“Ugh, why you…!” Chuuya snaps and pushes him off the bed.
With the loud thump sound, Dazai immediately cried, “Ow! Chuuya! I can’t believe Chuuya injured an already injured man! How could you?!”
Chuuya widen his eyes in the sudden realization.
Dazai stays quiet but responds, “Chuuya. Did you forget—”
“No! I did not.”
Chuuya sits there for a while and says, “…Sorry.”
He then goes down the bed and helps Dazai get on the bed again. Chuuya gets a glimpse of Dazai's bandages and realizes they’re bleeding again.
“Shit, I think I reopened your wounds.”
Dazai laughs in response, but Chuuya sighs and grabs the first aid kid again.
Dazai remembers what he said about never forgiving whoever found him.
Now that he found out that someone was Chuuya, he regrets it.
Dazai probably wouldn’t forgive himself for this ever again.