Chapter Text
Stay with me
Everything felt in slow motion.
Izuku sat in the corner of the bed, specifically the one closer to the window, and waited. He could feel every breath he took, and hear every movement, which came down the house. Izuku stayed still. He could feel his tears rolling down his cheeks, but he didn't make any sound.
Finally, he heard Inko going to her room. She went up the stairs slowly and as silently as she could, as if she was trying not to wake up someone. That's when Izuku moved his head for the first time and looked at his All Might clock.
1 am
“I spent almost 4 hours here?” Izuku asked himself. He hadn't noticed at all. Maybe, he thought, it was all the training in UA that helped him develop more concentration over an extended time.
Not because he was terrified; he was fine.
But when he heard her mother pause, his breathing accelerated. His gaze was entirely looking to the front door; his hands were grabbing his blanket.
Not even when he finally listened to Inko's door latch closing.
His body wanted to scream. Izuku knew that was not a common reaction. It was just an argument, but it was the first time his mother screamed at him and not apologised afterwards, the first time she slammed the kitchen counter. But most importantly it was the first time he'd seen Inko Midoriya, the woman who had nothing but fondness in her eyes, looking at him as they did.
As if having dreams was a mistake
As if wanting to be a hero despite being quirkless was a mistake.
He remembered how she apologised, apologised when he asked her if he could be a hero. She didn't say that he couldn’t, but today he understood something.
“She didn't want me to be a hero, never.”
Izuku grabbed his phone and his black headphones and jumped through the window.
Izuku ran.
He ran and ran and ran. Izuku ran as fast as he could without even looking where he was going. He didn’t want to see the streets, if he did, Izuku would remember any sort of memory that involved bruises and cuts and laughing. And that would be too much to handle at the moment.
At some point, he stopped to breathe. As he settled onto the bench, he noticed that the sky was a deep shade of black, the only illumination coming from the faint glimmer of the moon. There weren’t any lights on the street.
He stared at his feet, and now that he was recovering his senses, were starting to hurt. His muscles were also starting to tense up, probably due to the cold weather. Izuku forgot to bring his sweater, after all.
But he needed to continue running because if he stopped long enough, his thoughts would crush him. It's been a while since he felt like this. He'd been so used to the care and comfort of 2A, of their sweet and encouraging words, that he almost forgot what reality looked like.
The universe was just kind enough to remind him of his place.
“No,” he said, almost flinching at his own voice. “I don't want to feel like this again, please… just not again.”
Izuku tried to stand upright, but almost immediately collapsed on his knees.
“You quirkless freak!”
“Leave me alone!”
He sobbed. Izuku saw in his vision being filled with black dots, but he couldn’t care less.
“I haven't beaten you up in so long, have I?”
“I said leave me alone!”
A shout shocked him out of his thoughts. Izuku tried to see if he saw anyone near him, but he didn't. When the shout came back again, he felt a buzzing sound in his hands.
“Huh?”
Why was he on a call with Kacchan?
He put his phone on speaker, not trusting his hand to hold the phone to his ear without crashing to the floor.
“...Nerd, answer me!” Izuku heard Kacchan say, was that a tremble in his voice? “Look, if this is a shitty prank you can stop it now! It's fucking 2:30 AM. We're literally streets away from each other, if you miss me, which I could understand since I'm amazing, talk to me in the morning, not at midnight! Did you hear me?”
“If you did,” he continued, “then say so now. If you don’t answer right now I'm going to–”
“K‐Kacchan?” Izuku finally replied. Izuku was totally taken aback by how much it hurt to talk. Izuku actually doubted Kacchan would have been able to hear it since it came too quiet and incomprehensibly.
There was silence. The shorter thought the explosive boy hung up until he heard him whisper.
“Izuku?” Kacchan said, with a softness he'd never heard coming from him. “Where are you? Are you safe? Do you need me to call Mr. Aizawa?”
Izuku shook his head. Which question was he even saying no to? He had no clue. The only thing he could manage was an airy “Kacchan?”
“Talk to me nerd,” he tried again.
He sighed before answering.
“Come… please.”
The fact he didn't get sidetracked about something along the lines of ‘only if you want to, if you don't it's okay I'm fine’ made Katsuki not only tense up but also agree without any second thoughts.
“Okay, calm down,” Kacchan replied. “I'm coming. Where are you? At home? If you can't talk, leave your location on, nerd. I need to know where you are.”
There was another pause. When he decided to focus on his surroundings he realised where he was and smiled.
“Takoba Beach”
How did I end up just two steps away from Takoba Beach?
“You're at Takoba beach?”
Izuku nodded.
“But that's too far from–” Katsuki started saying, but stopped halfway through. “Okay, I'm coming. Don't hang up, alright? Just… stay there and count how many stars are in the sky or something. I'll be there in a second.”
“Thank you.”
He heard Katsuki cursing before losing himself in the view. It was… nice. He was all alone, but he could almost visualize himself training with All Might. He tried to concentrate on that image; it was one of the few happy memories he had in his neighbourhood. Every detail of the scenario was vivid in his mind's eye, from the sweat on his forehead to the sound of his own breathing. It was a moment when he felt a sense of purpose, a chance to fulfil his lifelong dream of becoming a hero, as he had always dreamed.
Like he was finally worth a try.
He contemplated the beach, still clean but with a couple of plastic bags here and there, and sat. Izuku didn’t know why he called him. Todoroki, Uraraka or even Shinsou would have been way more logical to call. So why?
Because he’s the only one who has seen him at his worst.
“Izuku…?”
He realised deep down, that it was impossible to fully be apart from each other.
“Hey,”
The green-haired boy blinked again only to find Kacchan kneeling beside him. He had a black sleeveless shirt, and his hair was as messy as his.
“You didn’t take any jacket with you either?” Izuku whispered.
Katsuki sighed.
“I did, shitty nerd. But you were fucking freezing so I helped you wear it.” To prove his point he signed with his finger Izuku’s arms. “Don’t you remember?”
Izuku didn’t but still nodded.
And Katsuki sighed once again.
“Fuck. How much time have you been here, sitting on a damned bench the opposite way from your house?” He asked, frowning with an expression he had only seen a few times in his life.
“Uhm… What time is it right now?”
“You don’t even know that? It’s fucking three in the morning.”
Izuku looked at his hands for a couple of seconds before answering.
“Maybe around two hours or three? I don’t know.” Izuku replied. "I wasn't planning on going out, but suddenly everything became too overwhelming. I stepped outside, but couldn't bear to look where I was going. It's just that since I got here, I...here, I...
“You what?” Katsuki demanded, not unkindly.
Izuku paused.
“It’s been too real… my memories I mean,” Izuku said, clenching his fists. “Now that I have a strong quirk, that everything has changed, that I’m not the defenceless useless deku that I was before. Even now, I just can’t look at the street and not see myself crying on the floor.”
“Oh,”
Katsuki touched Izuku’s face with his palm as if he was going to break at any point. It was at that moment when Izuku realised that he was crying. He hadn’t noticed the tears rolling over his cheek.
“Do you want me to take you home?” Katsuki asked.
Izuku nodded.
“Okay. We should be at Auntie’s house in less than 15 minutes, but I can call her if you want—”
Izuku’s eyes opened. What would he do if his mother realised he jumped out the window at midnight? That would make her feel guilty; she could actually start screaming again. And what would he do all weekend? How could he bear looking at her without feeling like crying?
No.
“No,” Izuku “Not there… take me home.”
Katsuki's eyes widened with surprise, his brows furrowing in confusion as he tried to make sense of Izuku's behaviour. He had expected an explanation for what had just happened, but instead, he found himself met with silence. Izuku was completely lost in thought, his eyes staring off into the distance as if lost in another world. Despite Katsuki's attempts to get his attention, Izuku remained oblivious, lost in his own thoughts.
“There are no trains right now,” he paused, but when he saw Izuku sinking further he quickly replied. “But I can call Aizawa. He’s probably still awake, that Hobo sensei”
Izuku sobbed.
“Thank you”
“Tch, there’s no need to, nerd.” Katsuki pushed Izuku’s head to his chest before slowly taking the phone out of his pocket.
Izuku couldn’t register what was happening. Everything felt too much, but then he was leaning on Kacchan's chest and all the thoughts stopped. He could only hear his breathing, deep and slow, and felt his body relax into his breathing pattern.
“Are you feeling better?” he heard Kacchan say.
Izuku hummed.
“Mr. Aizawa is on his way,” Katsuki said, now that he had Izuku’s attention. “Do you want me to stay? Obviously, I’m not leaving until he is here, but do you want me to come with you?”
Izuku nodded.
“You sure?” When he felt Izuku’s nodding once again he sighed. “Look it’s not that I don’t want to, because honestly, I’m so fucking worried right now, but if it brings you bad memories then no… I don’t want to be the cause of your pain anymore”
“Kacchan?”
Katsuki took a shaky breath and replied:
“Yeah?”
“Stay, please.”
You’re the only proof right now that my thoughts are not real anymore. That I’m Izuku and not a Deku, he left unspoken.
“Fine,” he agreed. “I will. I’m right here.”
It’s cold.
It’s not warm anymore.
Izuku opened his eyes and stood out from… a couch? He hadn’t realised he was back at UA! He, truly, didn’t know how that occurred. At one point he was being held by his childhood friend, wrapping his body with one arm and his head with the other. He remembered a low voice coming from behind them.
And that was it.
He stood up from the couch, gazing at his AllMight blanket that had fallen to the floor. Izuku struggled to pick it up from the floor, but he smiled when it was messy-folded on one corner of the couch.
“… do you think he should stay here for the rest of the weekend, then?”
“Of course. He was fucking scared of going back.”
He stopped and slowly walked to where the voices were coming from.
“... do I look like I really know what the fuck happened?” someone asked, in a way Izuku couldn’t decide if it was laughing or crying.
“All right, he’ll be staying the night here. Based on his reactions, it seems he would prefer to spend the rest of the weekend at UA, but I'll confirm with him tomorrow.” the low voice concluded. “You can stay too if you want to, Bakugou.”
“As if I wanted to stay with the nerd,” the voice –Kacchan, his mind supplied– muttered.
There was a pause.
“Okay! Yeah, fine, I do care” Kacchan yelled. “I don’t want to leave right now, does that make you happy?”
“Don’t shout, you are going to wake him up,” Izuku took a quick look, peeking from the door, and saw Mr Aizawa’s hand on Bakugou's shoulder. “And breathe. I'll come up with something to say to Midoriya's mom and your parents. Just change into your pyjamas and go to bed.ed.”
“But–”
Aizawa frowned.
“No buts,” Mr. Aizawa said. “Just go. I trust you to take him to his room. Call me if anything happens.”
Having said that, Aizawa walked away from Bakugou and left the kitchen. Izuku sighed in relief.
He didn’t see me.
“Izuku?” Katsuki asked. He heard his childhood friend walking to the door. “What are you doing here?”
“I was just walking…”
“Hiding on a corner of the door, which just coincidentally happens to be the room where me and Hobo sensei were talking?”
Izuku paused and shrugged.
“If you say it like that, it does seem a little weird.”
“No shit, Sherlock.” Katsuki smiled, and Izuku couldn’t not smile back. They both stared at each other for a moment. No one said anything, not even when Katsuki grabbed his hand and wrapped his arm by his back; not when he dragged Izuku to his own room and let the green boy hug his waist.
“You’ll be fine,” Katsuki whispered. “Just sleep.”