Chapter Text
After the week of Armin’s lessons, Zakai was bone tired and bored of history. She didn’t want to deal with it anymore. History was boring when it came from a place like the Walls, truly. How did they make it so very boring ? Yet, she did understand more now that she had suffered through the catch up that Armin had her play. Similarly, her combat techniques aided Armin. Zakai sat in the shade, watching everyone else spar even on the day off that Shadis had given them. It only made sense, Zakai rationalized, given that everyone wanted to get into the top ten upon graduation. Zakai didn’t care. Of course, there were a few that were similarly like minded. Zakai suspected those that were fucking off the training were those who planned to get into the Scouts, even despite the brutal death rate. Zakai took note of Sasha and Connie, they always sought out fun above work. Armin was training with Jean, of course he was not winning that round of sparring. Reiner and Bertholdt were together, predictable, and they were training alongside Eren. Annie was probably slacking off just like Zakai was. She had seen Annie doing just that several times now.
Ymir and Christa weren’t doing any of that. Which Zakai learned by seeing the short bubbly blonde approach with the tall brash brunette following. Zakai sighed, rolling her eyes but didn’t immediately reject their company. It was better than other so-called “companionships” she could be forced into. Another glare towards Reiner and Bertholdt made Zakai feel marginally better.
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re rude, Captain’s daughter?” Ymir scoffed.
“It's not rude! It's cute!” Christa argued, “She keeps looking their way!”
“ Glaring their way, maybe.” Ymir remarked.
Zakai scowled, “No.” She stood, face starting to heat up at the subject, “No one has ever spread that rumor.”
Ymir perked an eyebrow, taking in Zakai’s ruffled appearance from laying in the grass and dirt. “They should’ve.” Ymir stated matter-of-factly.
“Drop it, Ymir.” Zakai demanded, staring up at the taller brunette with narrowed blue grey eyes.
Ymir and Zakai kept staring for a few minutes before Ymir whipped around, “Fuck this. Enjoy, Christa. I don’t want to play this stupid game today.” Ymir had walked away from the two before Zakai or Christa, anyone really, could even call her back. Zakai didn’t care enough to do that. She still wasn’t fond of people like Ymir trying to dig under the surface of Zakai’s life. Interesting or not, Zakai didn’t care for it. Not one bit .
“Ymir…” Christa whispered, “What was that about?”
Zakai looked down at the even shorter girl than even her, shrugging, “No idea, maybe a stick got lodged up her ass today?”
Christa’s laugh was soft, an embarrassed giggle. “Maybe Ymir had a point, Zakai! You do seem quite rude today.”
Zakai didn’t comment, only thinking to herself. I didn’t used to be. No, Zakai used to be an overly polite little girl not unlike Christa herself. Well, both not unlike and very unlike at the same time. Zakai’s childhood was… Particular . Zakai looked from where her gaze had drifted, Reiner and Bertholdt again and she swore it was out of hatred, back to Christa. Christa had, in the time Zakai wasn’t paying attention, stepped closer with an excited puppy-like expression decorating her face.
“What?” Zakai grumbled.
Christa nudged Zakai gently, pointing over to Reiner and Bertholdt. “Which one is it, then?” She asked with that bright, curious look in her eyes.
“ What .” Zakai abruptly repeated, her tone shifting into one of surprise.
“You like one of them, right? I mean you were harsh with Bertholdt the other day but maybe you just don’t want people to know?” Christa questioned, rambling a bit, “I didn’t imagine I’d see romance blossoming here!”
The brunette stared at where Christa had pointed, meeting the gaze of Bertholdt’s olive green eyes and quickly looking away as her face quickly reddened in embarrassment. “I do not like Bertholdt!” Zakai exclaimed, her voice coming out a touch squeakier than the normal calm and composed tone Zakai always held. Unless, of course, she was angry and that was typically because of said two cadets. Christa giggled again.
“I don’t! Bertholdt is this gangly, awkward creep!” Zakai insisted, face only reddening further, “Why would I like that!”
“You’re the one who keeps staring!” Christa defended with a smile.
“Out of hatred! Displeasure! Disgust!” The brunette pushed further.
Christa only giggled again, Zakai’s face falling. Surely, Christa was wrong, right? She had to be. Zakai didn’t like him like that . How could she? Bertholdt was there to recapture her. Zakai scowled, more certain than ever that her plan must be put into motion as soon as she possibly could. Zakai sighed, “Why do I even bother trying to convince you of anything, Christa?” Zakai questioned vaguely. Zakai wasn’t nearly as close to Christa as Ymir and no one was close to Zakai. She made sure of that fact, tying it forever to her very heart, forever remaining with no end in sight. Zakai was alone. That's how Zakai liked it.
Bertholdt and Reiner existing in her general space would never stop that.
Christa giggled for a third time, “Nope! Especially not with how much you very clearly seem so fond that you pretend to hate him! Reiner too.”
Zakai scoffed, “If you know what's best for yourself, you’ll avoid Reiner like a plague.”
Christa tilted her head, “Why? He’s like a big brother to us all.” She questioned.
Without the shadow of a doubt, Zakai frowned, I’m sure that’s the delusion that Reiner convinced all of you that reality was.
Zakai didn’t answer Christa’s question, gaze shifting back to Bertholdt, Reiner, and Eren. Eren was truly an innocent party in all her thoughts, just some kid who was going to die the second he joined the Scouting Regiment. Zakai could hardly imagine him surviving the morons who dared risk leaving the safety of the Walls. Well, now even within the Walls was no longer safe. Zakai turned away from Christa, “I’m going for a walk.” She excused herself as Reiner and Bertholdt, now separated from Eren, had begun approaching Christa.
Zakai had no interest in trying to play nice with those
monsters.