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Caroline woke up to the sound of cupboard doors slamming and the smell of food cooking from downstairs, she smiled to herself as she rolled onto her back, sitting up slightly to make herself more comfortable. This was her first Mother’s Day since living at the farm with Gillian, the love of her life, they’d ended up confessing their feelings for one another after one too many glasses of wine at Caroline’s house about 9 months ago, and a touch had led to a kiss, which had led to them encased in each others arms in bed whispering words of love to one another, and they’d never looked back, in fact they’d only ever got stronger. Gillian had already promised Caroline that her and Flora were going to do something special for her, but she had no idea what, all Gillian had told her was she could stay in bed as long as she wanted.
She turned over to check the time: 10am, it wasn’t often she could stay in bed this late, she usually had to be up early to go into work, and Flora was usually awake early at the weekend, so she decided to take this opportunity to read her book in peace. Caroline had managed about 2 chapters of her book, which was a lot more than she usually managed to read before being disturbed, when she heard Flora and Gillian coming up the stairs whispering to each other. Caroline adored just how much Flora loved Gillian, and how much Gillian loved Flora, they were always getting into mischief together, and Gillian always said yes to doing things, like going to soft play, that she knew Caroline wouldn’t enjoy, so Flora could still have fun. Gillian nudged the bedroom door open with her foot, both her and Flora were carrying a tray.
“Good Morning.” Caroline said happily as they both walked into the bedroom, still both in their pyjamas. “What’s all this?” She asked as she took Flora’s tray from her and put it towards the bottom of the bed, so she could climb under the duvet next to Caroline. Gillian followed suit and placed her tray next to Flora’s and climbed under the duvet next to Flora.
“It’s for you, breakfast in bed” Flora replied, settling herself next to Caroline, and leaning over to give her a hug. “Happy Mother’s Day, Mummy!” Caroline pulled her closer and kissed her forehead.
“Thank you, this looks lovely!” Caroline smiled as she looked at everything Flora and Gillian had put together, there were all her favourite foods that she only ever ate on special occasions, pancakes, pastries, small cakes, and for balance, bowls of fruit, as well as a pot of tea, and some orange juice. “Oh Gillian, thank you for helping Flora with all this, it’s perfect.” Caroline leant over to kiss Gillian, she really couldn’t believe how lucky she’d got.
They all ate the food in a comfortable silence, and by the time they’d finished, all that was left were the crumbs from the pastries.
“We’ve got your presents downstairs too, but we didn’t think there’d be enough room on the bed so you can have them when you get up.” Flora explained to Caroline, still snuggled up to her side.
“I’ve got presents as well as all this?” Caroline asked, she would’ve been more than happy with just the breakfast in bed.
“Yep, I saved my pocket money up, and Auntie Gillian…” Gillian quickly shushed Flora before she could say anything else.
“Oh Flora, you didn’t have to do that, thank you.” Caroline had become slightly tearful at the fact her daughter was so thoughtful, she really did love her more and more every day.
“Flora why don’t you go and get dressed whilst Mummy gets ready, then we can give her the presents?” Gillian suggested. Flora nodded in response and made her way to her own bedroom.
Caroline eyed Gillian suspiciously, “What did Flora mean, when she said ‘and Auntie Gillian’? What’ve you done?”
“Oh, well, might’ve put in a few extra shifts at the supermarket to help her pay for the stuff.” Gillian mumbled, as she fiddled with the edge of the bedsheet nervously, one of the gifts had been particularly expensive, but both Flora and Gillian were adamant Caroline deserved it.
“Gillian you didn’t have to do that.” She replied softly.
Gillian shuffled closer to Caroline and gazed at her lovingly, before leaning in and kissing her tenderly.
“I did, because…” Gillian kissed her again, “you” another kiss “deserve” another kiss “it.” She ended the sentence with a longer, more passionate kiss.
Caroline knew Gillian wouldn’t take no for an answer, so she gave in not bothering to argue back.
Gillian put her head on Caroline’s chest and sighed contentedly whilst Caroline planted gentle kisses on her crown. They lay in contented silence for a few minutes, Gillian tracing small shapes on her girlfriend’s side. Caroline was the first to break the silence, with something that had been playing on her mind all morning.
“Gillian?” She hummed in response, so Caroline shifted slightly and held one of her hands in her own. “I hope you don’t think that I take what you do for Flora for granted because I don’t, you’re just as much of an influence on her, as I am, and today is about you, just as much as it’s about me, I couldn’t have done any of this without you, and I’m a better mother to her because of it, so thank you.” She gently kissed Gillian’s hand, she really had meant every word she said, she loved the bond the two of them had created, and she was enjoying seeing parts of Gillian shine through in Flora’s personality too.
“I- I don’t know what to say, I love Flora just as much as I love Raff and Calamity, she’s a credit to you Caz.” She replied tearfully, Caroline wiped the tears from Gillian’s face, before she carried on. “I just hoped I wasn’t stepping on anyone’s toes, I didn’t want to try and replace Kate, but I felt honoured when you allowed me to be a part of Flora’s life in that way.” Caroline was just about to interrupt before Gillian stopped her. “I just want to say, I know some of my choices are questionable, but I hope you know, I will always, always keep her safe.” Gillian was sure Caroline already knew that, but she just felt she needed to add it, especially now that they’d both decided Flora was old enough to start helping with odd jobs around the farm.
Caroline gave Gillian a wobbly smile, as though she was about to cry any second, and leant over to brush a stray piece of hair from her face.
“Of course I know you’ll keep her safe, I wouldn’t be letting her out around the farm if I had any doubts about that.” She reassured Gillian, then cleared her throat and shifted slightly, and she pulled the duvet tighter around herself. Gillian knew from Caroline’s body language that the tone of the conversation was changing to a difficult subject for her.
“And as for replacing Kate, I know you’d never do that, I still miss her every single day, and I do wish that she was here to watch Flora grow up, and sometimes I look at Flora and all I can see is Kate, she would’ve loved Flora so much.” A stray tear slid down Caroline’s cheek, which she quickly wiped away. Gillian just pulled Caroline close, and allowed her to cry. She had learnt that the best way to help Caroline through her emotions surrounding the situation with Kate, was just to support her, and reassure her that she understood that Kate was still part of Caroline.
Gillian had held her closely, and whispered words of reassurance until she had stopped crying. It was usually on days like this where Caroline had a moment or two where she spoke to Gillian about Kate, and she appreciated the fact that she could comfortably do this with her.
Clearing her throat in the most Caroline like way, Flora stood with her hands on her hips in the doorway of the bedroom.
“Why are you two still in bed? Come on hurry up.” She glared at both women seriously.
“Excuse me, Miss Bossy, we’ve been talking, we’ll be ready in 10 minutes.” Gillian replied, already removing the duvet.
“I’ll wait downstairs but I’ll be back if you’re not ready in 10 minutes.” She turned round and ran downstairs. Gillian turned to Caroline and giggled.
“Headmistress in the making there.” She shot another smile at Caroline and gave her another quick kiss. “Come on best do as we’re told.”
They both quickly got ready, before heading downstairs. Caroline was met by Flora at the bottom of the stairs, holding her hand out, Caroline took it and followed Flora’s lead to the kitchen, where there was 3 gifts neatly laid out on the table, along with a card.
Caroline sat down and opened her presents, she was incredibly pleased with them all, there had been two presents from Flora which she had paid for herself, one was a slate picture, which had a photo of Caroline, Gillian, and Flora printed on it, and the other was a box of Caroline’s favourite, rather expensive, chocolates. She knew Flora would’ve had to save up for weeks to afford both these gifts, and she was so grateful. The final gift, was a silver necklace, with two small interlocking hearts, with a small engraving on the back of each, one heart had “Kate” and the other heart had “Flora” engraved onto it. As soon as Caroline saw it she had to stifle a sob. Gillian squeezed her shoulder and kissed her temple.
“Do you like it?” Gillian questioned warily, her and Flora had spent hours choosing the perfect one, so she felt she had to check that Caroline definitely liked it.
“Like it? I love it, will you both help me put it on?” Caroline still had tears in her eyes, she knew she’d treasure this gift forever. As Flora stood up to help Gillian put the necklace on, Caroline grabbed Flora, hugged her and kissed her head.
“Thank you, Flora, I love all these gifts, they really are so thoughtful.” Flora just grinned at her, she was pleased her efforts had paid off.
——————————————-
All three of them had spent the rest of the day going for a meal at Caroline’s favourite restaurant, and then coming back home and watching one of Caroline’s favourite films, which Gillian claimed she hated, but Caroline was convinced she loved it.
Once the film had finished Gillian had gone to the loo, leaving Flora and Caroline sleepily snuggled up under a blanket on the sofa.
“Mummy? Are you and Auntie Gillian going to get married then?” Flora asked innocently. This question had surprised Caroline, she’d obviously thought about marrying Gillian, but never actually broached the topic with her.
“Well, I don’t know. What’s brought this on?” She asked cautiously, and turned to face Flora.
“Well my friend at school was a bridesmaid for someone getting married, and her dress was soooo pretty, so I thought if you and Auntie Gillian got married then I could be your bridesmaid and have a pretty dress” Flora smiled hopefully at her mother. Caroline just pulled her closer, grabbed her hand and rubbed it soothingly. She knew she had to be honest with Flora, because she was very perceptive, but she also knew she had to choose her words carefully.
“Well, marrying Auntie Gillian is something I’ve thought about, and something I would like to do eventually, but, it’s not something we’ve really spoken about, so I can’t really give you a proper answer. But how would you feel if it did happen?” Caroline always made sure she considered Flora’s feelings, and she found she made a lot of her own decisions based on how Flora would feel as a result.
“I’d love it! I love living here, and we’ve been able to do more fun things together since we’ve lived here.” Caroline did always feel guilty that she didn’t like to do some of the fun things that Gillian did, but Flora was right, Caroline had come out of her shell more since living at the farm, and found herself taking part in more and more things that she didn’t used to.
“Well I’m happy that you’re happy here, but I can’t make any promises that it’ll happen, these things just tend to happen in their own time.” She replied carefully, she didn’t want to get Flora’s hopes up, but equally she didn’t want to lie.
Only about a minute after they’d finished their conversation, Gillian came back downstairs, so Caroline knew that she’d have to talk to Gillian tonight, just in case she’d heard anything they’d been saying.
After Flora had gone to bed, Caroline had poured a glass of wine each for herself and Gillian and then they lay on the sofa, encased in each others arms, Caroline twirling a strand of Gillian’s hair round her finger, and Gillian tracing small shapes on Caroline’s arm. Caroline leant over to reach her glass of wine from the table, and took a sip of it.
“Gillian, Flora asked me something earlier, and I want to talk to you about it, I’d rather you hear it from me.” Caroline swallowed nervously, she knew this conversation could go one of two ways, and she’d much rather it not end badly.
“What did she ask?” Gillian asked quietly, she sat up and tucked her legs underneath herself, and grabbed a cushion, so she could properly look at Caroline whilst they were having this conversation, and Caroline did the same.
“Well, it’s a bit delicate, and I don’t know how this is conversation is going to end, but I just need to put it out there.” Caroline was stalling for time, she didn’t know how to ask Gillian about the subject of marriage, they’d never spoken about it before, and she didn’t want to ruin things.
“Come on Caz just spit it out, you know you can tell me anything.” Gillian was growing increasingly nervous, she had no idea what Caroline was on about and it was worrying her.
“Okay, so, she asked if… if we’re going to get married… but I said I didn’t know because we’ve not had a conversation about it, I mean it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just I didn’t want to be too pushy, so…” Caroline couldn’t even finish before Gillian interrupted her.
“Really? That’s what you were so nervous about?” Gillian had a huge grin on her face and she shifted closer to Caroline, cupping her face with her hand, and leaning in to kiss her. “Just to set the record straight, I would love to marry you, but that doesn’t mean we have to do it yet, or ever, if it’s something you’re not comfortable with.” Gillian felt she needed to add this, just in case they weren’t both on the same page.
A huge grin spread across Caroline’s features, and she surged forward and captured Gillian’s lips in a passionate kiss.
Caroline eventually pulled back and grinned at Gillian. “Well, I’d love to marry you too, you’ve no idea how long I’ve wanted to have this conversation with you.”
Grinning, Gillian cupped Caroline’s cheek. “Me too.” She leant forward to kiss Caroline gently. This wasn’t the way Caroline saw the night going, but she hoped what she was about to do was the right thing.
“Well in that case then…” Caroline gazed lovingly at Gillian, slid off the sofa, and knelt on one knee on the floor, taking hold of both of Gillian’s hands as she did so. “Gillian Greenwood, will you marry me?”
“Yes! Of course!” A huge smile spread across Gillian’s face, and she quickly joined Caroline on the floor, and kissed her lovingly.
Once they parted, Caroline rested her forehead on Gillian’s, and breathed a contented sigh. “I love you, Gillian”
“I love you too.” Gillian replied happily, nudging Caroline’s nose with her own. “I think this is quite possibly the happiest I’ve ever been.” She added.
“Me too, I’ve never been happier.” Caroline replied, she just gazed at Gillian lovingly, and she knew that as long as she had Gillian, she’d be the happiest woman alive.