Work Text:
There was so much that Smith no longer knew about himself.
All he knew was his motivation: Be Brave, inspire that same bravery in others, and hopefully, manage to save the world.
But he worried.
Now that he was part Death Drive, would he find the call of death irresistible if he managed to achieve his goal of victory? It seemed to Smith as though the Death Drives may have differing motivations, but the end goal was always the same: Victory in death.
Lewis Smith did not want to die.
He also didn’t want to think about the merging of his soul with that of Cunus.
Something strange was running through his veins—or rather, his hydraulic systems-- and although he couldn’t identify the fullest extent of it, he could put a name to at least some part of this overwhelming sensation, and how it was warping his feelings for a certain important individual…
...Lust.
Overpowering, all-consuming lust.
He knew he had lost control of it during his debriefing with the military upper brass, and the flush of embarrassment he felt when thinking back on those moments was enough to rival the heat in his struts that his thermal regulation systems only barely kept at bay.
He feared losing control of it, the parts of him that were parts of Cunus.
Would he ultimately harm Isami, in a moment of intense passion? Would the heat of battle finally surpass the capacity of his thermal regulation and fill him with the same vibrant energy that had animated Cunus in her most intense moments?
It was as though he were an animal, fighting off some kind of base instinct.
Smith detested the feeling, as much as it felt entirely natural to him in his new form; It was more difficult than he wanted to admit, to even identify when Cunus’ traits were shining through perhaps a little more strongly than his own.
He would never harm Isami. Even if in the end, achieving victory and saving the world might mean coming to an end befitting a Death Drive, it was the only thing keeping him going; Isami was his anchor to humanity, not just his own past.
As a result, he found himself lingering in the hangar, long after everyone else had debriefed and departed for the evening.
Isami had suffered minor injuries and was in the clinic; Bravern simply couldn’t fit in the building to accompany him.
It made Smith’s heart—Bravern’s primary fuel pump-- seem to tighten in his chest.
And something tightened elsewhere, as well.
Smith had no clue what his anatomy might be, in his current state of being as Bravern.
It seemed odd at first, that the Death Drives would even have comparable anatomy in any way, but evidently the Death Drives were just as “alive” as organic beings, and as a result, had some similar parts.
Or Smith guessed, anyway.
He refused to explore himself; Partly out of fear of strengthening Cunus’ traits in Bravern by giving in to the urges she represents within him, and partly out of the knowledge that if his “explosion of passion” may be in any way similar to Cunus’, well, he didn’t exactly want to find a way to climax, only for that climax to eradicate the military shipyard in a violent display of multicoloured orgasmic light.
But it was getting harder and harder to ignore the perpetual warmth inside of him.
The warmth that strengthened tenfold when Isami piloted him, surging energy through his fuel lines and mechanical joint systems, flooding his processor with a feeling of invincibility, of perfect unity, a true harmony with his pilot that rivaled even the greatest passion.
Pathos, Cunus had called it.
She had been right.
And Smith—Bravern-- had found it more and more difficult to dissipate all of that heat following yet another battle, yet another victory, that much closer to his goal, that much closer to climax--
--In the empty hangar, Smith came to a conclusion:
It would drive him mad, to ignore this heat for any longer. He had to get over his fear of his new existence as Bravern, what being half Death Drive might imply for him or for anyone else.
He was no longer Lewis Smith. He is Bravern-- Time to act like it!
Sighing, he closed his eyes—Shuttered his optics, and sat down against the wall of the hangar, leaning his helm back against the wall.
Once upon a time, the rivets holding the wall panels together would have tugged at his clothes and felt painful against his skin; He could barely feel them at all in his new form.
Bravern took a deep breath, filling his ventilation systems with fresh, cool air.
He needed a clear processor for this.
If Superbia could meditate, so could he.
Bravern focused on only the physical sensations; The first time he had become Bravern, it had given him a panic attack, the difference between his organic systems and his mechanical ones had thrown him off severely.
But now, it was almost natural to him; Smith may have struggled, but Bravern did not.
Bringing in the cool air helped balance his systems briefly, but as soon as he breathed out, the heat came back, intensified by contrast.
With his optics closed, Bravern did not notice his exhalations, visible as small pink glimmering spirals lingering in the air for only a moment.
He raised the sensitivity of his environmental sensors; If anyone were to approach the hangar, he would become aware of that fact in time to at least pretend as though he had been doing anything else other than this.
It was enough to reassure him; It had to be. This heat was untenable, especially with his pilot so far away. Why did organics have to be so frail? And yet, so beautiful.
When he relaxed, Smith could melt away, fully enveloped within the Bravern persona.
And in this state, the parts of him which were Cunus could also rise to the surface, an even balance of human and Death Drive.
To Smith, it was close to feeling like a loss of control, before it became so innate and felt so right that it would have frightened him, if he had still been in the right state of mind for it.
But in this moment, he is not Smith. He is Bravern.
And Bravern, fueled by the same pathos which was so critical to Cunus’s being, raised one arm and placed the flat of his hand against his crotch, over the warm armour there.
It was not human instinct; Not entirely, not with his new components. Smith did not want to know what parts he may or may not have in this form. It was irrelevant to him; The last thing on his mind. Almost.
But Cunus wanted to indulge, and Bravern was the embodiment of the safest possible medium; Driven by alien passion and human bravery, it was impossible for him to not explore himself. What is courage, if not to do what you are afraid of in order to achieve a desired result? And the desire is so, so strong.
Bravern lightly lifted his hips up into his palm, optics remaining tightly closed as his thoughts inevitably wandered to Isami.
Isami, his perfect pilot. The ultimate specimen, the bridge connecting humanity to the spectacular, the mundane among the impossible, the only being capable of joining souls with Bravern.
To be piloted was a unique feeling; Every motion telegraphed in tandem, every thought shared between two minds, every moment safe and predictable even in the most dangerous battles because every strategy and tactic was decided upon by two entities with the same goals and feelings, the same desires, the same desires--!
What would it feel like, to indulge in passion of this kind, with Isami inside of him?
The thought alone increased Bravern’s internal temperature by a startling 23% almost instantly; His vents opened across his frame to release more of that pink, swirling energy, which became smoke-like as it cycled through his body and became infused with something strange and unfamiliar – yet innate, critical, instinctual to this form-- as it vented out to the crisp seaside air.
Pink and green shocks of electricity danced across the surface of his armour, as he could no longer maintain his seated position and elected to lay on the ground, partially hidden by a line up of Titanostriders safely shut down in their docking bays.
Lost to a wave of bliss that seemed to strike out of nowhere, Braven recalled every memory file he had of Isami within him, the unique and intimate feeling of his hands gripping his controls, his feet sliding across the floor as he was shaken about in battle-- But never knocked down, never knocked over.
Steadfast and strong, his Isami would never be defeated, never discouraged, never failed.
His other hand joined the first, rubbing more furiously against the armour plating covering his crotch as he rolled onto his front, his helm nearly scraping the yellow safety paint on the floor.
This was where Daidara-5 used to be parked for maintenance-- This was where he had first seen Isami climb inside his Titanostrider, for their very first joint training mission together.
He felt a wave of horrendous, unreasonable jealousy-- That Titanostrider was no match for Bravern. Surely, piloting Bravern was better in every way. Nothing could beat the two of them together!
Possessed by something from deep within him, Bravern clamoured up off the floor, and in only a few steps, reached the training dummy closet.
When testing out new Titanostrider models, a human size dummy was placed inside, so that the medics could record any injuries to the fake pilot and the engineers could then redesign cockpit protection measures, in the event of direct contact with live munitions in the field.
But right now, Bravern had another use for the dummies entirely.
He grabbed one delicately, using only two fingers so as not to crush it, and opened his own cockpit.
Placing the dummy inside, he could pretend it was Isami-- A poor imitation indeed, but it would work.
It would allow him to release all of this energy, this heat, this overwhelming pathos!
Quickly returning to his hiding spot behind the Titanostriders, Bravern wasted no time in laying flat and resuming his ministrations; This time, with one hand placed over his chest.
Right over where Isami would be.
The dummy’s weight inside of him helped him to pretend; His optics tightly shuttered, enough to almost crease the metal of his faceplate, it only took another few moments of palming at his crotch armour for Bravern to achieve some small measure of relief.
Smith had always been a fairly quiet lover; He wasn’t one for dirty talk, and preferred to focus on any sounds his partner might make in bed.
Cunus, however, was apparently diametrically opposed.
And the combination of their traits, as they were expressed through Bravern, was to mutter uncontrollably to himself while focusing on the dummy’s weight inside of him-- He could pretend it was Isami, it is Isami who feels so perfect within him, who moves with the gentle guidance of his living control panels…
“Ah, Isami, grip them a little tighter, your passion flows through me! I can feel your sweat, your breath’s condensation is so warm and wet, the beat of your heart replaces the one I lost—the one I never had--”
He began to rub into his palm more aggressively, warring with multiple instincts; What survived of Smith within him wanted to buck and grab a component that was no longer there, never existed in this form. What survived of Cunus within him wanted him to focus on that feeling inside of him, push his digits around the side of his pelvic armour, be filled in multiple places at once--
--And face down on the floor, Bravern came, furiously whispering words he wished Isami would be able to hear, as he collapsed in a surge of pink and green tendrils of light and curled smoke, the power sink nearly knocking him offline.
“Bravern!!! What’s wrong? Miyu, his location beacon is in the hangar. Get to him, now!”
Ah.
It appears that Bravern’s desire for Isami to hear his words in the throws of passion accidentally automatically opened his direct comm line to his perfect, beautiful pilot.
Of course; Their connection was inherent, a bond between two souls.
Bravern did not feel shame, but Smith did, and in the post-power surge clarity, his processor was quickly becoming overwhelmed with a very human anxiety. He didn’t want to be found like this!
However, it did not quite win out over the influence of Cunus; Why be ashamed of such wonderful passion? What is there to feel bad about, when it comes to actions inspired by love? Especially in such a public place, where there could be witnesses to this beautiful romantic power, with a power surge strong enough to knock an entire Tower offline? And yet, Bravern was awake! A true victor in the battle to conquer such mighty pathos!
Bravern activated his comms, laughing. A safe medium. Bravern had to always be the safe medium between these two sets of instincts. His entity was a perfect split, a perfect combination. His humanity had to balance his potential for destruction, whether that was in a romantic arena or otherwise.
“Isami! I am merely testing a new Brave Special Move. Do not worry. You are still recovering!”
Bravern could hear the general background noise of a busy clinic over the comm line, but no beeping machinery indicative of the ICU. He could feel some of his struts relax; He had known Isami’s injuries were relatively minor, but still. He would always be worried about his pilot, whenever he wasn’t safely nestled inside.
“Recovering? I’ll be out of here soon, and what do you mean, testing a new move? Next to the Titanostriders?! Some of those need repairing, you’ll damage them even more!” Isami’s voice tapered down to a strained whisper, apparently realising that shouting in a medical environment may not be particularly welcomed by the medical staff.
“The Titanostriders are fine; My testing has concluded for now. I found it to be an incredible success-- Perhaps we can test it together soon!”
“As long as you don’t hold back on me in battle again, yeah, sure. Let’s test it out on the deck though, before you break something! Miyu is on her way down there, just to be sure. I can’t leave you alone for a minute!”
“Nor do I want you to, my Isami!”
“What?! Hey, watch what you’re saying, some people might read into that!”
Oh, if only they would. If only the humans could understand. “Let others believe what they want! They have no concept of the bond between a pilot--”
“Miyu, what’s your ETA?” A crackling sound came over the line, as Miyu’s line was patched in.
“I’m right next door and on my way! Hiiii, Bravern! If you scratched Deidara-3, I’m going to find a way to kick your giant ass! I just repainted it yesterday! The Titanostrider, not your ass!”
Isami heaved a sigh over the line. “Looks like you have other things to worry about, Bravern. See you soon. Don’t get too many dents, she’s a beast with that wrench!”
“Damn right I am!”
The comm line closed with a soft click, melting into static before Bravern closed the line on his end as well.
Ah, Isami would learn to accept Bravern’s own passion someday.
At the moment, it was time for Bravern to return the dummy to it’s rightful closet, before anyone could find it missing…!