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My Heart Is Yours (I Saw Sparks)

Summary:

"Looking back, Viv doesn’t know how she didn’t immediately catch on to what was happening. She was aware at a subconscious level, of course, that those butterflies in her stomach weren’t a regular occasion, that sporting a permanently sappy grin wasn’t like her at all.

Uncharacteristically, she didn’t bother over-analysing or dissecting or scrutinising her own behaviour. She just let herself fall into it, for once, maybe because she knew she’d be caught safely in the end by a certain shorter blond with the cheekiest grin and the brightest blue eyes."

Or, Viv's reflections on her relationship with Beth, looking at their past, present and future.

Notes:

Well, first work for me. Genuinely really nervous about posting this, this has actually been half done for months now. I'm just a bit of a scaredy-cat and procrastinator.

It had to be these two honestly, I love them to bits and I find I can write about them easier than any other couple.

I'm not really sure about this to be honest, I've re-read it so many times it feels like gibberish at this point, but I thought I'd put it out there in any case. Hopefully some of you like it.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

If anyone were to ask Viv to describe herself, she’d begin with calling herself introspective, and a (somewhat excessively) deep thinker. She gets lost in her own head quite a lot, often alarmingly so, and takes the time to meticulously plan out what to say, or how to act. She’s a perfectionist in every sense of the word, always aiming to appear poised and calm in all that she did. She also despises attention on her, and despite that she’s been thrust into the limelight from such a young age, she’s never really gotten comfortable with that, not even in informal settings.

Which is why, it baffles even her sometimes, how she and Beth fit so well. Beth’s literally nothing like her. She’s louder, more exuberant and openly expressive in a potentially boisterous way. She’s the life of the party, who thrives in the spotlight, and finds comfort in company in a way Viv doesn’t think she ever could. She’s also confident, charming and adored in a way Viv used to envy slightly, now she’s just in awe. Of her girlfriend. Of the woman she calls her own. Of the love of her life. 

It’s a bold statement to make, and Viv knows that herself of two years ago wouldn’t have been able to say it. But being with Beth, loving her and being loved by her, has opened up Viv’s world entirely. Socially, of course, helping her feel re-integrated into the team when she was feeling least connected, but she also means emotionally. She’s made her feel like it’s normal to feel overwhelmed, it’s alright to ask help and to rely on someone else for once. It’s okay to not be okay, that’s the mantra which Beth’s repeated to her on numerous occasions; patiently, unfailingly and lovingly. She remembers the first time Beth comforted her.

       ———————————————

Mid-December, 2021

Viv had officially lasted two weeks now, since the break-up with Lisa, with no incidents at training. At home, she was a mess. In fact, for the first time since she’d left home probably, her house was an absolute mess. She hadn’t done laundry, the dishes were piling up, her bed had been unmade for days - she’d slept on the couch, not ready to sleep in the same bed, not ready to face all those memories. She was either crying or sleeping, not much else.

Training, however, was a different story. She’d managed to put it at the very back of her mind when with the girls, having only told them four days ago, and even amongst the pitying looks and the sympathetic gazes, she had not cracked. She kept her mask up, showed no smile or frown, went through the motions of the day. Only when she was home did she even remind herself she had emotions. She was convinced it was the only way to deal with it.

She’d now successfully avoided Lotte and Katie’s well-meaning, but slightly overbearing questions about opening up for days, and she thought she could get through just one last week before the winter break, and she’ll be all alone in her feelings. Then she could process, or figure out how to move on or whatever the fuck people did after losing their partner of seven years. 

It worked almost perfectly until the last half-hour after their final game of the calendar year, just as she finished her post-game shower. She’d been purposefully staying outside for longer, talking to the set-piece coach about trying to get on the end of more headers long after the girls trooped inside for warmth. She only entered when they were all nearly done with their showers and sitting for Jonas’ post-game talk.

Just as she finished changing after practically everyone had left, she heard a voice from behind her, and jumped.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you,” Beth smiled sheepishly, “thought you knew I was here.”

Viv waved her off. “No worries.” She continued packing up her bag, only turning head when she felt Beth’s gaze on her. She raised her eyebrows. “Something wrong?”

“No, no, nothing’s wrong. I just, I wanted to ask you if you’d like to come over now? To my flat?”

Viv turned around fully, confused. “No offence, but why?”

Beth looked at her openly. “Well, I’d just like to talk.” 

She then raised her hands, “And before you say it, not Katie, nor Lotte or anyone else in the team put me up to this. It’s just me.” Beth softened a little. “Look, I know what it feels like right now, and how important it is to just let it out. You don’t have to, of course, but I just thought if anyone could understand, it’s me.”

Viv hesitated. Her forget-about-everything-don’t-talk-to-anyone plan was working so far. Plus, she and Beth had never really been close enough to be the sharing type of friends - they were essentially just teammates that were civil. She’d always thought Beth was a little too loud for her, to be very honest, and that they wouldn’t really mix. But she looked up at the blonde, and saw understanding in her expression. Not pity, not condolence, just compassion and understanding. So she nodded. “I’ll drive my car over to yours.”

Fifteen minutes later, clutching the steering wheel, and bouncing her leg up and down, Viv reconsidered. She was almost about to drive away again, send Beth a message saying she had some meeting, but Beth pulled up in her car and beckoned to her. So she sighed, mentally prepared herself for some more avoidance strategies and walked up with her into the house.

“Would you like some tea? Coffee?” Beth asked, already in the kitchen.

“Coffee’s good, thanks.”

Ten minutes later, Viv was seated tentatively on Beth’s couch holding a steaming cup, a complete contrast to Beth being splayed over her half of the seat. She looked over at Viv.

“This isn’t an interrogation, Vivianne. I just wanted to talk. Doesn’t even have to be about Lisa, but I’ve watched you bottle your emotions for the last week now. We haven’t even got a trademarked “Viv frown” so far,” she paused to make the quotations with her fingers and Viv felt tempted to smile, “which is literally unbelievable. So shoot. I’m not here to pity you or to coddle you by saying ‘everything's going to be okay’ and ‘you’re strong, you’ll get through it’. That’s not what you'd want or need to hear. Just let yourself feel heard, or even seen.”

Suddenly, inexplicably, there were tears in the corners of Viv’s eyes and she was slightly horrified to find that they’d now made their way down her cheeks. Not even a second later, she was being pulled into a warm body, now essentially resting herself on Beth’s shoulder as she just let herself go. She cried for the loss of a seven-year relationship, for her first real love, for her source of comfort, and for the amount of effort it took her to be solid in front of people. She cried at the relief of physical comfort, as an arm wrapped around her torso and held her as she shook and hiccuped. It may have been ten minutes later that Viv finally realised where she was and what she was doing and just as she was about to let her apology slip, Beth cut her off.

“Don’t say sorry, I know you’re going to. You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.” More tenderly, she said, “I know what it feels like right now, Vivianne. I know it’s shit. And I know it’ll take time for it to become less shit, so take that time, talk if you feel like it, but let it out in whatever way you want. You’re allowed to grieve.”

She was crying even harder now, and Beth tugged her back in, rubbing her back soothingly, yet saying nothing until she was cried out many minutes later. 

Viv pulled away to look at her, and for the first time in days, gave a semblance of a smile. “I’ve got snot on your collar.”

Beth snorted. “It’ll wash. And you’re feeling better already, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, tons. Thank you, reall-”

“Don’t be silly, Vivianne. I know we haven’t been the closest but I’ve wanted to remedy that for a while, and help you a little.”

Viv smiled once more. “Well, thank you anyway.”

Beth smiled back. “Would you like to stay and watch a film? I’ve got ‘Notting Hill’ queued up to rewatch, and it’s always better with company.”

“I’d love to.” That was now three smiles in a row, and Viv was filled with some hope now, that things would be okay. And that she’d really made a friend, for once.

       ———————————————

Viv distinctly remembers what followed that one encounter. She spent the next couple of months really getting to know Beth, beyond the surface-level and immaterial understanding of their playing styles. She first helped her through a lot of her post-break-up angst, claiming she’d gone through the same with Daan and didn’t want Viv to repeat her mistakes, but they soon became fast friends beyond that.

The person she began to unearth was very evidently a gem, Viv learned that quickly, through that time they spent. Beth began making it her life’s mission to uncover a smile on Viv’s “eternally grumpy” face, as she called it, relying on the silliest of pranks, stupidest of jokes, and of course, their now trademarked banter. She was the breath of fresh air Viv couldn’t admit she needed, and kept her afloat at a time where Viv felt herself closest to rock bottom.

       ———————————————

Early February, 2022

It was a combination of freezing, rainy, and just about everything wrong with the British weather one February morning, and yet, Viv wasn’t sulking in her widely-renowned hate for the cold. No. Instead there was an honest to god grin on her face, as she chuckled along, eyes on Beth as they often were these days. She’d just dumped a bottle of cold water on Jordan, who let out a shriek and chased a fleeing Beth around the ground. 

Viv had no idea how they managed to muster the energy to remain so active when it was nine in the morning, hours of practice to go, and the weather was absolutely fucking freezing, but that was Beth for you. Bubbly, cheerful, and brightening up everyone around her as well, Viv just didn’t bother to notice before. Now that she did…well. 

She was so lost in her staring that she hadn’t registered Katie’s presence till she bumped her hip, and Viv was so out of it that she fell back flat on her arse. The first thing she registered was a distinct cackle that she definitely didn’t think was adorable, coupled with her own reddened cheeks and Katie doubling over with laughter.

“Wh- oh, shut up, the lot of ye,” Viv grumbled, embarrassed beyond words. “T’was a surprise, didn’t know she was there and-”

“Got distracted, did ya?” Katie’s eyebrows wiggled and no, she wasn’t ready to deal with those implications, so a mortified groan later, she was back on her feet.

“GOAT on the football pitch, good at a lot of things, but not keeping balance, hm?” Beth smirked from ten feet away where her and Jordan were still giggling.

If possible, Viv grew even more flustered, and just shook her head in a pathetic response, pretending - by rolling her eyes - as if she was unbothered and pinched Katie in the ribs.

“Payback, somewhat?” Katie shot her a look which Viv promptly ignored as she walked as fast as her lanky limbs allowed her, towards the pitch. She was pointedly not letting them see the flush covering her face. She wouldn’t give Katie that satisfaction.

The rain was beginning to pelt down now, and Viv was frozen to her bones. To make matters worse, she’d conveniently forgotten her jacket at the gym, so she had no protection besides the thin training hoodie and her shirt. As they all continued the walk back towards the grounds, there was nothing she could do to hide her chattering teeth and reddened ears.

A voice came up from behind her. “Hiya Vivianne, weather’s lovely today, isn’t it?” 

Of course, Beth being the proudly northern lass that she is, claims she’s immune to this southern cold. She’d said to Viv last week, ‘Child’s play, this. Y’should join me up in Whitby once, go dipping in the sea in December. That’s something.’ She definitely remembered the ‘y’should join me’ part of it all too well.

Shaking out of her reverie, she rolled her eyes. “Hilarious Beth, I’m fucking frozen already.”

Beth giggled, shaking her head. “Forgot your jacket, I assume.”

Viv scowled. “Evidently so.”

“Here, take mine,” and before Viv could even react, she was encased in Beth’s ‘9’-crested puffer jacket. Beth continued, “I don’t need it anyway, ‘m a proper northern-”

Viv cut her off, “lass, yes, you told me last week.”

“Someone’s been paying attention?”

“Were you underestimating me?”

“Well, after that fall, anything was possible.”

“Hey! Rude.” Viv pouted, and Beth laughed.

“I’m sorry, it’s just hard to take you seriously after that, and the fact that my jacket comes up to your stomach.”

Viv nudged her. “It’s not my fault you’re tiny.”

Beth nudged back. “Am not.”

“Are too.”

Another voice came up behind them, which Viv recognised as Jordan’s distinct northern accent. “S’okay Viv, you’re apparently not the only one.”

One look behind yielded a blushing Leah, donning an ‘8’ marked jacket that’s even shorter on her than Beth’s on Viv. It was a high-fiving Jordan and Beth that laughed and an embarrassed Viv and Leah who exchanged a fond glance at the two. Viv pointedly did not focus on the more meaningful parallels between the two pairs.

       ———————————————

Looking back, Viv doesn’t know how she didn’t immediately catch on to what was happening. She was aware at a subconscious level, of course, that those butterflies in her stomach weren’t a regular occasion, that sporting a permanently sappy grin wasn’t like her at all. But for once, she didn’t bother over-analysing or dissecting or scrutinising her own behaviour. She just let herself fall into it, for once, maybe because she knew she’d be caught safely in the end by a certain smaller blond with the cheekiest grin and the brightest blue eyes.

       ———————————————

March 2022

At last, spring had settled in a bit, and the weather was somewhat bearable. Over the last couple of months, Beth and Viv’s...friendship had only blossomed further. It wasn’t uncommon for them to spend at least three or four days a week together, before training, after, staying over at each other's houses and going out for coffee.

Viv was freshly showered, just putting away her bags and finishing changing, when Beth walked over.

“You don’t have anything to do today,” she said, leaning on the lockers.

Viv raised an eyebrow. “Is that a question?”

“Not exactly. I know the answer,” Beth grinned cheekily, “we’re going out.”

Viv frowned a little in confusion, “Coffee again? It’s a bit late for that now, isn’t it?”

“Okay, two things. Firstly, it’s never too late for coffee-”

Viv snorted. “Of course you’d say that, you’re the definition of an energiser bunny.”

Beth glared at her pointedly. “ Secondly, no, we’re going for dinner. There’s this Asian place in Covent Garden that Jen’s been going on about, and we’re going to go see what the fuss is about.”

Viv was pretty sure her face displayed all her shock. For all that they went for coffee or movies at each other’s flats, they’d never really done something formal, something that could be termed an “outing” together. She didn’t quite know what to do about the butterflies suddenly swirling in her stomach. 

After a lack of response, Beth continued, “C’mon then. You love sushi and Jen did mention their sweet ‘n sour chicken is absolutely banging.”

Then it hit her. “Hold on, you’ve really planned this.”

And for the first time, Viv saw Beth go slightly shy. “Well, yeah, ‘course I did. We’ve got no practice tomorrow, and I drove you here this morning, so I’m taking you there and dropping you home. It’s a win-win.” She then frowned just slightly. “Do you not want to go? Because that’s fi-”

Viv scrambled to make up. “No, no, I do, I really do. I just- thank you, Beth.”

Beth softened, and smiled sweetly. “Don’t need to thank me, Vivi, it’s nothing. Besides,” Beth adds, “it’s selfish too - I’m craving that sushi just as much.”

She then picked up Viv’s bag in one swift motion, slung it around her shoulder along with her own, and took Viv’s hand to tug her towards the door. “C’mon then, let’s be off. Bye lovies, see you’s next week!” 

Viv barely had seconds to turn back around and wave at her teammates before Beth practically hauled her out with all her enthusiasm, but it was still enough that she didn’t miss Katie’s smirk and Lotte’s grin. She frantically tried to rid herself of the flush on her cheeks, but it didn’t help that Beth’s hand in her own felt more right than most things had in a while.

Once they were in the car and settled, Beth handed Viv the aux as she started the vehicle.

“Go on then, you know you want to.”

Viv grinned. “I’m getting full licence?”

“Mhm, now don’t be abusing that power, Vivianne,” Beth was faux-solemn, “it’s a great responsibility.”

“I won’t disappoint.”

“You never could.” And even though Beth’s eyes were on the road in front of her, her left hand reached out to cradle Viv’s knee for just a minute. It sent lightning bolts through Viv’s body, and still reassured her simultaneously. And then it was gone. “Come on now, get on with it. I don’t do well with silence.”

They were back. Viv rolled her eyes, “I’m well aware, thanks,” and began playing music immediately to cut off Beth’s response. 

Viv being Viv, immediately had Taylor Swift playing, and Beth’s eyebrows jumped in delight. She looked over to Viv, eyes shining. “Hey, I know this one!” 

And without a moment’s hesitation, she began singing in a manner that could only be identified as atrocious, and even as Viv said so out loud, she felt she couldn’t mean it. Because sitting beside Beth, having her take her out, being as considerate and sweet as she was, Viv couldn’t ever associate that word with her. Beth was lovely, pure, and everything good in this world. 

So, she joined in, letting her ever-conscious persona go for a bit and just enjoying herself.

Dinner was as amazing as Viv hoped. They never ran out of conversation, managing to stay away from Arsenal, and Beth spent a good fifteen minutes on her and Katie’s latest collective prank on Kim.

“Honestly, sometimes I don’t know how Kim tolerates you lot,” Viv joked.

Beth stuck her tongue out at her, and replied, “I’ll have you know, Kim has repeatedly said I’m a rather loveable individual.”

Viv found herself chuckling, and the fond, “she wouldn’t have been wrong,” slips out her mouth without a second thought. 

She stiffened immediately, looking down at her food and cursing herself but when she looked back up, Beth had a noticeable blush and she was smiling softly.

“So are you, yeah? No forgetting.”

Viv being Viv, immediately went shy again, not knowing quite what to say.

Beth reached for her hand, and entangled it with her own for the second time that day. “You need to remember that sometimes, Vivianne, when you get caught up in that head of yours. You’re really quite easy to love, and I know so many people who value you for who you are.”

Viv didn’t know where this continued bravado came from, but she blurted, “Do you?”

She was tempted to take back her question in that millisecond before Beth answered, not hesitating. “Without a doubt.” 

And for once, there was not even a hint of teasing in her blue eyes, or a playful grin on her face. There was a seriousness and dedication that created a foreign, but not unwelcome, sense of warmth in Viv’s chest. 

Beth then cleared her throat, went to scratch the back of her neck which Viv recognised as a nervous tic, and resumed her teasing. “By the way, however skilled you are with your feet, your hand-eye coordination is severely lacking.”

Viv was confused until Beth pointed out that her white shirt was now stained orange, thanks to the piece of chicken that somehow ended up in her lap.

The embarrassed groan she let out, and the “for fuck’s sake” that followed was almost drowned out by Beth’s clear, loud laugh and she continued giggling, all bright and beautiful. for minutes to come. The corners of her eyes crinkled in fond amusement, and Viv found out that she couldn’t really care about the stain or the wasted piece of food, not if it made Beth look like the most stunning girl in the world.

On the way back though, there was a sort of a silence that wasn’t really there before. It was still comfortable, as it had been with Beth for the last month or so, but there was just a hint of tension that had never really dissipated from dinner.

Viv turned on the music again, just so she wouldn’t wind up thinking, because she didn’t want to. She knew what she’s going to do, she knew what she wanted to do for once, and she had a good idea that it'd be reciprocated. 

Soon enough, Beth pulled up just outside of Viv’s building. “Well, this is you.”

“Mhm. I- uh,” Viv stopped and started again, this time looking Beth in the eye. “Thank you, so, so, much for this. I appreciate this more than you could know.”

Beth laughed, but gently this time. “Stop thanking me so much Vivianne, I loved tonight.”

“Still. You should know.”

The eye contact had grown steadily more intense and she could see Beth’s eyes sparkle. They kept up the staring and Viv felt herself move closer and closer, she saw Beth move towards her too, and she didn’t bother with the thoughts. She shut up that nagging voice at the back of her head that spewed nonsense.

'It’s not too early.

‘She does want me’

And finally, ‘Yes, she is worth the risk.’

And with that, Viv didn’t waste any more time. She simply closed her eyes, raised her eternally-cold palm to Beth’s comfortingly-warm cheek, cupped her face and brought her lips to hers. 

It was like magic. Beth didn’t waste a single second, as if she knew, as if she was waiting for this to happen, and with that, Viv didn’t hold back. She let her body take over, pulling Beth closer and wrapping an arm around her waist.

Eventually, they separated for air as she felt Beth’s smile on her lips, and pulled away to join their foreheads. Beth lifted her head to drop one, two, three softer kisses on Viv’s lips, and pulled back further to grin at her, cheeks flushed to match Viv’s, looking as dishevelled and content as Viv felt.

“Well, if you really did want to thank me, that was one way of doing it.”

Viv breathed out a chuckle. “Sure, that’s what this was. I assume that was okay, then."

“Oh you numpty, I’ve been waiting for you to do that,” Beth said, looking at her with genuine fondness as Viv felt her heart soar.

Viv raised a teasing eyebrow. “Oh? Fancy yourself a bit of a princess, do you?”

Beth played along happily, reverting back to their banter. “If anyone’s the princess, it’s you. I’ve got your bags, I always drive, and I picked up dinner, didn’t I?”

“Hey now, that’s only because you were too stubborn to let me.”

“Alright, fair enough.” Beth’s laugh tapered off. 

She continued, “I was waiting for this for a reason though.” Viv looked at her intently, intrigued. “I wanted to show you it’s okay to take what you want, to be upfront. Especially with me.” She tucked a loose strand of Viv’s hair around her ear. “You don’t be afraid to be who you are and do what you want, Vivi. Not here, not anywhere. Just, don’t hesitate.” 

Beth caressed the side of her face. “And remember that I’m proud of you, for everything. We may not have uh-” she looked down for a second, “been this close for too long but the last three months, I’ve really seen you as a person, and I’ve seen the way you doubt yourself. I hate seeing that. Because you’re so good, sweetheart, but you don’t care for yourself and love yourself as much as you should. And I just wanted you to take this first step, for you.”

And in that moment, Viv had never felt better about herself. She’d never felt more in control of her own life, never felt more secure than in the presence of Beth. She didn’t worry about what they were, who they’d be, what this meant, but just that she had Beth, and Beth had her. And she was safe, and understood, and cared for.

Beth was watching her with a gentle smile, as if she knew what Viv was thinking about, and that was when Viv knew she wasn’t expecting a response. So Viv just leaned back in to join their lips, this time more intensely. They spent many minutes just like that, lost in each other, and by the time Viv actually left the car, both their lips were swollen and shining, cheeks flushed, but never happier. 

It was a cool spring evening in March 2022, when Viv’s world righted itself again, feeling more whole than she’d ever felt before.

       ———————————————

So much happens after that. Viv meets June just two weeks after that kiss, and the whispered 'You’re good for my Bethy’ plays in her head every few days, as does Beth’s statement about nobody meeting her mum even remotely that soon. It played as she signed her Arsenal contract extension too.

They play the friendly, after which Viv finally has the guts to say those three words she didn’t think she could ever say to anyone again, forget six months after Lisa. Beth wins the EUROs while Viv gets Covid and has quite possibly the worst tournament ever, and she doesn’t really mind in the end. Not if it means Beth receives the credit she’s been deserving for years, and that she’s got the player of the tournament and golden boot on her (what swiftly becomes their) mantle as she moves into Viv’s flat. They go on holiday with their families, Lars and Ben become quick friends, and their parents adore each other. Proper “honeymoon” bliss, in reference to the jabs their teammates keep making about them being a married couple.

Things, of course, derail significantly a few months later. June’s health deteriorates significantly, and Viv can’t bear to watch what it does to Beth (and herself too). And then shit really hits the fan. First Beth’s ACL betrays her, and Viv’s follows suit three weeks later. Her surgery’s the night before June eventually passes on, and the immediate heartbreak of not being able to be there for Beth, coupled with her own grief of losing June, is too much to deal with on top of the physical pain.

The next few months, they struggle. Physically, emotionally, but she remains in awe of Beth throughout, for remaining so strong, so positive, when things were so dire.

They miss the big games, cry when Arsenal lift the Conti cup and when they lose to Wolfsburg, when Leah does her ACL and when Laura’s gives out too. They cry some more about the World Cup. They have their spats, their frustrations. But they make it through somehow, and they’re so much better for it. They spend more time at Whitby with Rich, Ben and Liv. They have Lars and Kiki fly in whenever possible. They lean on the girls, the girls lean on them, and they create a family. A sisterhood.

Viv watched Beth’s return with tears in her eyes, Leah and Laura in similar states by either side of her. She didn’t even bother hiding it when she lifted her on the pitch, repeating over and over again, I’m so fucking proud of you, my love .

Beth’s there on the pitch when Viv makes hers, and even when she wants to cry, one look at Beth’s face keeps her grounded. Make this count, lieverd, she’d said to her before.

Viv gets Beth the greatest gift she’d ever received, and they transition seamlessly into dog-parents, doting on the little puppy as much as physically possible. Things still aren’t rosy, Viv’s meniscus continues to hamper her play and she needs to get a third surgery in March ‘24, and once again, she feels irrelevant, useless and like a failure. Beth’s a saint, of course, reminds her of how special she is, how valued she is, believes in her so intensely and wholeheartedly that Viv can’t help but adore her for it.

When Viv starts for Arsenal’s final game of the season at Meadow Park, and they need just the last three points for the title, she scores their fourth and title-winning one. It’s assisted by Beth, the first time they’ve combined for a goal since before their ACLs. It doesn’t matter that Beth’s on the other side of the pitch, she’s still the first to reach her, jumping in her arms and kissing her forehead, no reservations during games for once. Because this meant just about everything. 

The whistle blows, the whole team is in different stages of emotion, crying, laughing, and everything in between. In the midst of all the chaos and the champagne and the dancing on the pitch, Viv pulls Beth into an unafraid kiss, pouring into it every emotion she’s ever felt with and for her. Happiness, sadness, contentment, frustration, and most importantly, love. The girls hoot and holler, they’re both well aware the cameras are going crazy and the fans are practically shrieking, but they don’t pull away till they’re done, till whatever’s needed to be expressed is done.

And now, as Viv sits on their couch, waiting for Beth to emerge from the bedroom so they can go for dinner, it’s the 24th of June, 2024. She’s been running her fingers absent-mindedly over the ring box in her coat pocket, re-imagining all the memories they’ve shared, all the hardships they’ve endured, and she knows it’s time. They’re ready for this step. 

And when Viv finally hears the bedroom door open, she grumbles out a characteristic, “Well, it’s only been a fucking millenium, I think we’ve missed our table.”

Beth enters the living room to retort playfully to her about being too anal and overly precise, but Viv finds that she can’t continue the banter. Her mouth dries, she takes in her girlfriend from head to toe, from the snug red dress to the knowing sparkle in her eyes and the smirk fixed on her lips. 

“Looked your fill?”

“I’d never fully satiated, even if I looked for eternity.” Viv stands.

Beth rolls her eyes. “Right flirt you’ve become, I’ve created a monster.”

“You love it.”

“I love you.”

They’re grinning like the lovesick fools they are, which they’re often teased for, especially by Laura, who’s essentially their adopted kid at this point. 

“I love you too, in case you didn’t know.”

Beth smiles coyly. “You’ve mentioned a couple times.”

“Only a couple?” Viv’s now stood in front of her, her hands on her hips, toying with the material of her dress, her eyes darkening slightly. “That’s not nearly enough, now is it.”

“Hmm, s’pose not,” says Beth, trying not to let on that she’s affected too, but Viv sees right through it. They know each other too well for that.

Beth wraps her arms around Viv’s neck, bringing her down, and them being them, they lose themselves in it. It’s not until the sound of the doorbell that they untangle, somewhat reluctantly.

Viv groans softly, and Beth laughs, smirking. “C’mon, it’s probably Vic coming to take Myle.”

Probably in an effort to tell them they’re taking too long, Myle barks a couple times for good measure.

“Well, thanks for that little reminder, baby girl,” Beth says in her ‘high-frequency dog voice’, as Viv calls it. She goes to open the door, only to find Alessia and Kyra in Vic’s tow.

At her raised eyebrow, Kyra just shrugs. “I wanted more time with the baby.”

Beth snorts. “She’s eight months old, Kyra.”

Kyra frowns. “Still a baby.”

Viv rolls her eyes. “Alright, we’re late. Take the ‘baby’, here’s her bag and all her stuff,” she turns to Vic, “NO feeding her anything sweet, and no extra treats.”

Vic pouts. “What if she-”

“I don’t care if she makes the puppy eyes at you, you’re not to fall for it.” Now addressing Alessia, Viv says, “I’m trusting you to watch over that, okay? Don’t let these two alone with her.”

Alessia smiles sheepishly, “Bold of you to assume I’m not as susceptible.”

Viv chews her lip. “That’s true, you’re the most responsible but somehow an easier target. Myle’s too smart for that.”

“Hey!” comes a protest.

Beth laughs, and suggests, “Call Leah as well then. She’s got enough practice with Bella to withstand it.”

“Okay, you’ve got a solution and we’ve got places to be, so if you lot don’t mind clearing off, that’d be great,” Viv’s only partly joking.

Kyra rolls her eyes and sticks her tongue out. “We got what we wanted anyway, and it certainly wasn’t you, grandma.”

Viv gasps, ready to really get into it until she feels Beth’s hand on her stomach, effectively shutting her up. She gives Viv a warning look, and she backs down almost immediately. 

Vic lets out a cough that sounds suspiciously like “whipped” but Viv lets it pass with nothing more than a glare.

Beth takes her hand, tugging her towards their car, while waving goodbye to them. 

Viv turns around one final time to tell Vic to be cautious with Myle, but instead she catches Vic mouthing the words “ring” and demonstrating an engagement. Viv frantically gestures to stay silent and mouths back, “subtle.”

Vic just forms a heart with her hands, as she and the other two dissolve in giggles and all Viv can do is roll her eyes, flip them off and get into the passenger seat.

Beth starts the car, smiling knowingly. “What’d they do now?”

“Just being immature,” Viv responds grumpily. 

“I swear, sometimes I feel like they’re our kids,” Beth chuckles and shakes her head, but it's fond, of course.

“Yeah, them and Lau. Speaking of, we should probably check in to see if she needs more Kinesiology tape? I was there when the trainers were telling her to buy more, knowing her, she’s probably forgotten.”

Viv pulls her phone out distractedly and messages Laura, and looks up when she feels Beth’s hand reach for hers. 

“You’d be such a good mum, honestly.” She’s looking at her tenderly as they’re stopped at a signal, and Viv feels an inexplicable blush come over her and the compliment prompts her to ask Beth something that’s been on her mind for a while now. 

“You want that for us? Because I definitely do.” Viv asks, slightly hesitantly. They’ve discussed it briefly in the past, a lot earlier.

“Absolutely I do.” Beth turns her body towards Viv, light still red. A few seconds later, once they’re moving again, she adds, “One step at a time though?”

Viv can’t see her face entirely, just her side profile, but it’s enough to notice the sparkle in her eye. 

Viv can’t help her laugh. Of course she’s already caught on.  

“Yeah. One step at a time, my love.”

Notes:

So...yeah. There's definitely no structure to this story whatsoever, and it's me projecting my thoughts on this (ADORABLE) relationship through Viv because I really fucking love Viv. And Beth. I love them both.

I'd also like to give a shout out to a few writers on this platform, on whose works I regularly comment on purely because I love their writing styles and stories, and reading such amazing stories about women's football across the platform has really motivated me to post this.

Hope you guys enjoy!

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