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Lol, don’t think so highly of yourselves

Summary:

Alex asks for Morgan’s hand in marriage and that’s all. I swear <3

Notes:

It’s a server prompt from *looks at smudged writing on hand* *can read it bc Dyslexic* Helli. Saw their thoughts there and had to.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:


                  Alex was buzzing with excitement. Oh, this will be so good. After five years of fake marriage, that’s not fake in Alex’s heart of hearts, and a whole child, albeit the child is an insectoid war machine that is the epicenter of its hive mind, Alex thought up this idea. To keep up looks, which were totally just looks, Morgan figured that they should step the fake dating up to engagement as Diego kept pestering Morgan about proposing and his own parents kept pestering him as well, thus, Morgan, as chivalrous as they are, decided to go ask his parent for permission to marry him. Tonight. Which is how this idea had sprung into Alex’s mind. God Morgan is so smart. He dressed himself up so nice. Granted, he always looks nice. Only the best for himself and more importantly, Morgan.

                  Thus, he now stands on the doorstep of the Sterling household, rubbing his hands together like some mainstream loser villain. He immediately stopped. Alex was extremely giddy. He had disguise himself with his special glasses and toned down the aura of evil just to get past their external security. He knocked. When Alex began hearing footfalls approaching the door, he removed his glasses and hung them on his shirt collar.

                  He did not expect Diego to open the door. Oh right. It’s family dinner night. The two stared at each other for quite a long time. Thirty seconds, at least.

                  “What.” She stated. “The fuck.” Alex gasped dramatically, hands over his mouth, looking like scorned. Diego sent him an annoyed look.

                  “You know, Morgan will not be happy that you’re here.” She said.

                  “I come in peace.” Alex pulled a white handkerchief out of his breast pocket and waved it around pitifully. Diego was thoroughly unimpressed and definitely did not believe him. Alex heard Ms. Sterling call out to Diego.

                  “Diego, who is at the door, you’ve been there for a while.” She didn’t really sound too concerned, more annoyed than anything. It made Alexs’ eye twitch. He decided to push past Diego in a dramatic flair.

                  “Hey! Wait!” Diego scrambled to regain balance and then keep up with Alex as he strode towards thee dining room. This house is so damn stuffy. He heard chairs moving when Diego yelled out to him, but Alex was faster than them, entering the room just as they were all on their feet.

                  “Ah ah, sit.” He forced them all back into their chairs, even frisbee boy. Of course he’s here… where’s ducky?

                  “How dare you!” Mr. Sterling yelled. Diego finally came to Alex’s side.

                  “What the fuck, Alex?” Diego gave him a shove. Alex didn’t budge as he strode towards Morgan’s parents, grabbing an empty chair. He assumes it’s Diego’s.

                  Chad, for once, is dead silent. Good on him! Finally learning! Dave finally spoke.

                  “Alex, seriously? What did they do this time to piss you off?” Alex stopped mid way through positioning his chair next to Mr. Sterling and looked at Dave with shock.

                  “Oh my me! You said your first bad word! Everyone clap for frisbee boy!!” Alex started clapping; no one else did.

                  “Wow, tough crowd.” He rolled his eyes. Diego sighed from behind him.  “Anyways! Back to me!” He grabbed Ms. Sterling ps chair and moved it to be next to her husband, making her yelp. It pleased Alex to no end hearing a shocked response from her.

                  Diego mumbled under her breath “when is it never about you.” And moved around to stand next to Dave, arms crossed and glaring at Alex. He felt a small chill down his spine feeling her glare on him. God, why is she so scary.

                 “Foul villain, how dare you break into this house! Toying with us like we’re some kind of dolls!” Ms. Sterling exclaimed angrily. Alex rose a brow, “if I recall properly, the door was opened for me. That’s hardly breaking and entering. Okay! Now it’s my turn!” Alex cleared his throat, getting into character as he sat in his chair, legs crossed. “Mr & Ms. Sterling.” He began, pretending to be anxious and docile. “I’ve come here today to ask of you a very important question. One that I’m sure will be answered with difficulty.” He put on his best pleading look, placing a hand over his heart and taking Mr. Sterlings hand. He tried yank away, but Alex held tighter, making the man wince.

                “Cooperate or lose the hand.” Alex broke character for a moment to growl at him. He then looked at Ms. Sterling. “Hold his hand.” She glared at him, stubbornly not moving. Alex realized where Morgan got their stubbornness from. Her glare wasn’t even a fraction as scary as Diego, though.

                “Mom, just entertain him so he’ll leave.”  Diego said with annoyance that was solely directed at Alex. Her mother gasped.

                “Diego! Do not entertain-” Diego cut Mr. Sterling off, irritated.

                “I’m not! But I am hungry and if I could shove that brick wall of a pathetic whiny bastard back out the door I would! So please, for the love of god, play along. Ducky will wake up from his nap soon as well. So, if he sees Alex then Alex definitely won’t leave for a while.” Her entire family stared in shock. Diego speaking of Alex that way, in Alex’s presence much less, would be a death sentence for anyone.

                 Alex turned so fast to look at her, feelings actually a little hurt. “I’m not whiny!” He proved her point right then and she sent him a pointed look. Alex huffed and turned back to the Sterling parents snatching Ms. Sterlings hand and putting it on top of her husbands, clasping his fingers over both their hand. Alex cleared his throat again, starting from the beginning. It was clear the parents nor Chad realized this was an act. Diego and Dave sure did though. It was touching they’d let him be dramatic, not like they had a choice.

               “Mr & Ms. Sterling.” Alex started, putting on his humble docile character. “I come to you today with a very important question, one that I know will be somewhat difficult to answer for you.” Alex took a dramatic deep breath. “After spending many years loving and caring and being with your child-” Mr and Ms. Sterling looked horrified as they immediately looked at Chad silently looking to see if he was also as shocked. He was. Diego? Not so much shocked like them but shocked because Alex was asking them permission to propose.She knew this had to be some kind of prank. Morgan would never want Alex to ask them, and Alex has no respect for them.

                Alex cleared his throat, gaining the Sterling parent’s attention again. They looked at him horrified.

              “Your child means so much to me, they are the love of my life, so I am here now to ask of you… I want your permission to marry Morgan.” He feigns anxiety as he holds their hands staring at them. Even makes his hands a bit sweaty just for the act. Mr & Ms. Sterling stare at him in horrified shock. The entire room is so silent that they could’ve all heard a pin drop. Then their reactions finally came.

               “ABSOLUTELY NOT!” Ms. Sterling shrieked, yanking her hand away from Alex’s hold. Alex was trying so hard not to laugh.

              “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? HOW DARE YOU ASK SUCH A RIDICULOUS QUESTION!” Mr. Sterling yelled. Alex released all of them from their sitting hold. All three Sterlings stood immediately.

             “You nefarious villain! You have truly put Morgan under your villainous mind control!” Chad said.

             “YOU THINK WE WOULD LET OUR CHILD MARRY THE LIKES OF YOU?!” Ms. Sterling was in a rage.

             “AS IF WE WOULD LET YOU TARNISH OUR NAME!” Mr. Sterling was readying for a fight, in his rage grabbing Alex by the collar. Alex couldn’t hold it in anymore. He began giggling then laughing and then cackling batting Mr. Sterlings hands off his collar and doubled over, cackling so hard tears came to his eyes. They all froze.

            “Oh my god…” Diego pinched the bridge of her nose. She would’ve thought this was a fever dream if she didn’t know Alex well enough.

            “WHEEWWW oh my me, haven’t laughed that hard since yesterday when Morgan told me that dad joke.” He straightened up wiping the tears from his eye. “Wow-we, man the looks on your faces.”

            “What the hell are you laughing for?!” Mr. Sterling demanded. Alex stopped laughing abruptly as he stood up, grinning dangerously.

            “As if I need your permission to marry Morgan. Truly, did you really think I’d ever ask you two pathetic excuses of parents to marry my sweet Morgan?” Alex’s turned on his evil aura, amping it up to the max. Every single person in the room tensed.

             Alex leaned in close to the Sterling parents. “I don’t need your permission for anything that has to do with Morgan. They’re mine.” With that, Alex strode past the Sterling parents, shoving them out of his way as he walked out of the house with a dramatic flair…


 

Notes:

Alex is so silly.

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