Chapter Text
The pair entered the citizenship and immigration office on their lunch break, Eddie already scowling at the length of the queue.
Richie let out a small whistle. “I wish Patty were here now.”
Eddie looked at him quizzically but said nothing.
40 minutes passed and Eddie was physically vibrating by the time they reached the front of the queue.
He slapped a folder on the desk and said, “I need you to file this fiancee visa for me, please.”
The man at the desk nodded and opened the file in front of him. A second later he spoke.
“Mr Kaspbrak?”
“Yes?”
“Please, come with me.”
He led the pair to a room, where Richie immediately sat. “I have a bad feeling about this.”
Eddie just looked at his phone. They had so much fucking work to do, he didn’t have time to fight with immigration lawyers.
A knock at the door interrupted their thoughts.
“Hi, hello,” a man said. “I’m Mr Gilbertson. You must be Richard, and you must be-”
“Edward.” Interrupted Eddie.
“Edward,” Mr Gilbertson smiled. “Sorry about the wait, it’s a crazy day today.”
“Oh, of course, of course. We understand. And I can’t tell you how much we appreciate you seeing us on such short notice.” Eddie smiled at the man.
Richie wondered if Mr Gilbertson could see how irate he was, if he could see how Eddie’s smile didn’t reach his eyes, like a shark.
Gilbertson didn’t seem to notice, too engrossed in the file. He vocalised as he read. “O-kaaaaay. Buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buhhhh. So, I have one question for you.”
The pair nodded.
“Are you both committing fraud to avoid deportation so he can keep his position as editor in chief at Colden Books?”
“That’s ridiculous.” Richie said.
“Where did you hear that?” Said Eddie, at the same time.
“We had a phone tip this afternoon from a man named-”
“Would it be Bob Spaulding?” Eddie interrupted. “I’m so sorry. Bob is a disgruntled former employee. I fired him today and he must have tipped you off to get back at me. I can only apologise. We know you’re incredibly busy. If you just tell us the next step we will be out of your hair and on our way.”
“Mr Kaspbrak, please.”
He motioned for Eddie to take a seat next to Richie.
“Let me explain to you the process that’s about to unfold. Step one will be a scheduled interview. I’ll put you each in a room, and I’ll ask you every little question that a real couple would know about each other. Step two, I dig deeper, I look at your phone records, I talk to your neighbours, I interview your coworkers. If your answers don’t match up at every point, you,” he pointed at Eddie, “will be deported indefinitely. And you,” he said, turning to Richie, “will have committed a felony punishable by a fine of $250,000 and a stay of five years in federal prison.”
Richie tried not to gulp visibly.
“So, Richard. You want to talk to me?”
Richie pursed his lips and shook his head.
“No?” said Gilbertson.
Richie nodded. Then shook his head again. Then looked at Eddie, lost. Eddie just shook his head.
“Uh, the truth is.” He paused and cleared his throat. “Mr Gilbertson, the truth is, Eddie and I are just two people, who weren’t supposed to fall in love. But did.”
He looked at Eddie then, and saw Eddie looking right back at him, smiling softly.
“We couldn’t tell anyone we work with because of a big promotion I have coming up.”
“A promotion?” Gilbertson asked.
“Yeah, Edward and I thought it would be inappropriate for me to be promoted to editor while we were knocking boots.”
Gilbertson cleared his throat. “So, have the two of you told your parents about your secret love?”
“Impossible. My parents are dead.” Eddie deadpanned. “No brothers or sisters either.”
“Are your parents dead?” Gilbertson asked Richie.
“No, they are very much alive. I haven’t told them on account of them being from rural Maine and because my fiance is a man.” Richie smiled mockingly.
“Well, we were gonna tell them this weekend. Maggie’s 60th birthday, and the whole family’s coming together. We thought it would be a nice surprise.”
Richie blinked, trying not to look shocked.
“And uh, where is this party taking place?”
“At Richard’s parents house.”
“Where is that located again?”
Richie prepared to take over from Eddie’s scrambling, but he continued with ease.
“Derry. In Maine, near the Rines Forest.”
“You’re gonna go to Maine this weekend?”
They both nodded.
Gilbertson sighed and closed the folder. “Fine. I see how this is gonna go. I will see you both at 11 o’clock on Monday morning for your scheduled interview and your answers better match up on every account.”
He handed Richie a post it note with their appointment on and Eddie’s phone rang.
“I’m gonna enjoy this one. Gonna be fun, I’ll be checking up on you!” Gilbertson called after them as they left his office, Eddie first to take his call, Richie second, throwing Gilbertson a wave on his way out.
Richie was in a daze. He knew he had talked about his hometown with Eddie, but he didn’t think Eddie would have remembered. Maine maybe, but not the town, not the geographical feature it was closest to. People tended to tune Richie out, to let him talk at them rather than to them. Richie always thought Eddie did the same. Richie thought wrong.
“Hey,” Eddie said, snapping him out of his thoughts. “You wanna get some lunch?”
“So what’s the plan?” Richie asked around a mouthful of bagel.
“We will go up there, we will pretend we are boyfriends, we will tell your parents we’re engaged. Uh, use the miles for the tickets. We can fly first class, you deserve that. Oh, and please confirm the vegan meal cause last time they actually gave it to a vegan, and they forced me to eat this clammy, warm, creamy salad thing, which was upsetting to say the least. Are you getting this?”
Richie just looked at him. “I’m sorry, were you not in that room?”
Eddie looked right back. “What. What? Oh! The thing you said about being promoted? Genius, he completely fell for it.”
“I was serious. I’m looking at a $250,000 fine and five years in jail. That changes things.”
“Promote you to editor?” Eddie dabbed the corners of his mouth with a napkin, mulling it over. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah. Deal.” He took a bite out of his bagel as Richie gawped at him.
“I expected way more pushback on that.”
Eddie shrugged. “You’re good at your job. Your taste is questionable but it’s good to have variety in a publishing house. I trust you. If I can make it happen, I will. I promise.”
“You getting soppy on me, Kaspbrak? Are you feeling okay there?”
“Yeah yeah whatever, don’t make me change my mind.”
“I have another condition.” Richie said suddenly, his eyes lighting up. “Ask me nicely.”
“Ask you nicely, what?”
“Ask me nicely to marry you, Edward.”
Eddie shook his head. “What does that mean?”
“You heard me. On your knee.”
Eddie contemplated it for a moment. He knew Richie was being a shit. He knew Richie was trying to see how far he could push him. Sighing, he wiped his hands, unclasped a chain from around his neck, and got down on one knee before Richie right there in the deli.
“Does this work for you?” Eddie asked, looking up at Richie.
He swallowed. “Oh, I like this. Yeah.”
“Great, will you marry me?”
“No. Say it like you mean it.”
Eddie sighed again and fiddled with the chain some more, removing a thick gold band.
“Richard?”
“Yes, Eddie, my love?”
“Sweet Richard?”
“I’m listening,” teased Richie, fluttering his eyelashes.
“Knowing you has been the best three years of my life. Every coffee, every weekend away, every midnight bodega snack run has filled me with happiness the likes of which I’ve never known. I would be honoured if you would pretty please with cherries on top, marry me.”
Keeping eye contact, Eddie held up his father’s wedding ring and let out a shaky breath.
Reign it in Kaspbrak, that was too sincere. Stupid, stupid, stupi-
Richie sniffed wetly. “Well I don’t appreciate the sarcasm, but yes I will marry you,” he grinned, offering Eddie his hand to slip the ring on.
Eddie laughed. He thought I was joking. I can live with that.
Richie pulled him into a bear hug, and a few tourists clapped for them. The rest of the deli ignored them completely.
Never change, New York.