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Happier Ever After

Summary:

During a mishap on a mission, Akutagawa is struck by an ability that turns him into a dragon. As the Port Mafia asks the Agency for help, Atsushi learns only he can understand his now transformed partner in the new Double Black. It thus becomes his duty to help Akutagawa undo the change.

But Atsushi should know by now that in fairy tales, nothing ever truly stays the same.

Written for BSDopoly 2024.

Notes:

Good day, humans of AO3. I'm back with another BSDopoly one shot. Note that I fully intend to slow down after this.

Really, I'm just determined to get a GOOD ROLL. NO ANGST *threatens bot with knife* NO TROPES I AM SUPER NOT FOND OF BECAUSE OF THE NONCON ELEMENTS *brandishes knife* JUST ONE. Ahem. More on that in the endnote, but for now, know that the only prompt I used was "someone gets turned into an animal."

Quick stylistic note: I put Dragon Aku’s speech into single quotes since Atsushi is the only one who can understand him. I figured this worked better than italics.

Let's begin, shall we?

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It’s rare to have more than one Port Mafia member at the Agency at a time, and it’s practically unheard of to have two. But about twenty minutes ago, Haruno transferred a call to Fukuzawa’s office, and a few minutes after, he emerged from his office.

“Mori-sensei is on his way with four members of the Port Mafia for our assistance in what he calls a ‘dire emergency.’”

Atsushi perks up as Yosano asks, “What kind of emergency could he possibly have?”

“He wouldn’t say.”

Atsushi’s stomach sinks. He’s anxiously hoping one of those members isn’t Akutagawa. He’s the last person Atsushi wants to see on a day that has already started off on the wrong foot. His alarm clock didn’t go off, he didn’t eat breakfast because he was almost late to work, and now, he’s starting to get woefully hungry. He even contemplates stealing something from Ranpo’s stash of snacks.

“Don’t even think about it,” Ranpo calls before he can formulate a plan.

With a woeful sigh, Atsushi leaves for the convenience store. Fortunately, he doesn’t forget his wallet. Better still, he’s able to get a piece of melon bread with whipped cream and eat it in peace before returning to the chaos. He even drinks some milk tea.

Atsushi was right: he does feel a little better after getting sustenance.

The elevator opens to pandemonium: drawn swords, defensive stances, a furious Yosano… apparently, he was away longer than he thought. Worse still, negotiations have already gone south.

He’d turn right around and leave if he wasn’t so devoted to the ADA. For everything they’ve given him—a home, a job, the very clothes on his back—he strides forward as the elevator closes behind him.

As he nears, he sees Mori, flanked by Kouyou and Chuuya. Gin is there, too. The Port Mafia boss is speaking. When he gets close enough, he can actually hear the words. “—I’ve said, we are not here to attack. That would be foolish, given we’ve asked the ADA for assistance and cooperation.”

“What else could you need three other people for, huh?” Ranpo demands. “Besides, you said you were bringing four!”

“We fucking did bring four,” Chuuya retorts. “And if you assholes would put your fucking weapons away—”

Atsushi walks past them with his hackles raised. It’s possible this is some ploy to capture him after all.

If it is, they do a god awful job. He makes it all the way to Kyouka before turning around, and not a single effort is made to harm or kidnap him. “President,” he says. “They let me walk all the way here without firing a single bullet. Don’t you think that means something?”

“That’s because we’re not here, for you,” Kouyou retorts. Her sword slips back into its sheath, a clear gesture of cooperation. “And if the circumstances were different, I’d dismember you for taking Kyouka-chan from me. However…” She slips her hands into her sleeves. “It’s as Ougai-dono says. We are here for assistance. Nothing more.”

After a moment of tense silence, Dazai announces, “It must deeply wound your pride to ask us for anything. Unfortunately, I don’t see the benefit of helping you.”

“We will make it worth your while,” Mori states. “I understand the Agency has fallen on hard times financially. I will see to it that debt is paid.”

Atsushi peers at Fukuzawa, who, after a brief moment of consideration, lowers his sword.

“President—” Tanizaki begins. Naomi holds one of his arms.

“Very well, Mori-sensei. I will hear your request, but if I detect the slightest bit of threat on you or your colleagues’ behalf, I will—”

“Yes, yes, decapitate or impale.” Mori smiles. “You’re quite protective of the agency, Fukuzawa-dono. What you fail to understand is that I am equally protective of the Port Mafia. So, this one time, I am swallowing my pride and setting aside our feud for one of our members’ sakes.”

“Out with it, then,” Ranpo retorts. “You’re boring me.”

Mori chuckles. “Such spirit.” He shrugs. “Akutagawa-kun has gotten a little… too close to his namesake. After an unfortunate blunder—and I’ll add not his, either—”

Gin lowers her head slightly.

“He’s been… changed.”

“Changed,” Fukuzawa echoes. “Changed how, exactly?”

“He’s a dragon.”

“A dragon?” Kunikida echoes.

Atsushi peers at Kyouka, who tips her head.

“Wait a second—why would you bring a dragon here?” Kunikida roars. “We just fixed the Agency after it was bombed last week! Are you insane?”

“Perfectly sane,” Mori reassures him with a calm smile.

Atsushi somehow doubts that.

“At any rate, since the transformation was inflicted by an ability, we were hoping Dazai-kun might lend us his nullification.”

“Hold on a second,” Yosano demands. “Just who transformed—”

“I already know who did it,” Ranpo cuts in. “You don’t need to ask him anything, Yosano-sensei.”

Her outrage fades, and she lowers her eyes to the floor.

“More importantly, you’ve threatened the safety of the agency by bringing something so dangerous—”

“Kunikida-kun, so oblivious,” Dazai sing-songs. “Look around. Do you see a dragon?”

Kunikida surveys the space, then folds his arms. “So they didn’t bring him…”

“We fucking brought him,” Chuuya states, removing his hat. “He’s just small.”

Nestled among Chuuya’s hair is a lanky, almost snake-like creature. The tips of its horns, along with the edges of its tail and wings, are white, but the rest of its scales are deep black. Its silver eyes remain locked on Chuuya’s scalp, almost as if it’s embarrassed at its appearance.

Immediately, Dazai is in stitches.

“Dazai-san…” Atsushi glances at the creature on Chuuya’s head. It looks even more crestfallen now.

“Oh, my gods… if chibikko is calling you small, it’s true. You’re even more pathetic like this, Akutagawa-kun. Ah, maybe this laughter will finally end my life…”

“Dazai-san, please…”

Fortunately, Kunikida chokes him to silence. Atsushi’s positive view of that comes from the obvious pleasure Dazai gets out of it.

Atsushi sighs. “How long has he been like this?”

“Just since this morning,” Gin murmurs. “Last night, I could barely keep up with everything. We were completely outnumbered. He threw me out of the way of the blow and insisted he was fine, but when he woke up, he was like this…” Gin’s eyes wander, and she eventually drops into a bow. “Since it’s my responsibility, I should be the one to ask: please help my brother.”

Even if he hates Akutagawa, Atsushi feels a bit sorry for him. And Gin. Taking responsibility for shortcomings is a challenge, but being like this…

“Fine, fine. I’ll do it. But only if Kunikida-kun rewards me later.”

“Dazai, for heaven’s sake, don’t say suggestive things like that.”

Atsushi is more concerned about the murderous look that spreads across Chuuya’s face. But Dazai, unfazed by both, simply shrugs.

“Alright. I’ll try, as detestable as it is to touch another man.”

But as soon as he reaches out, Chuuya lurches back. “Hang on a second, shitty mackerel. I got his pride to think about. Akutagawa’s a modest guy. You touch him now, and he turns back, he’s naked.”

“Isn’t that his fault for getting changed in the first place?”

“Dazai-san…” Atsushi sighs again. “Please, just take him into a private room.”

“Oh?” Dazai’s chin digs into his shoulder. “Atsushi-kun, are you worried seeing Akutagawa-kun naked will awaken something in you?”

“I’m not,” Atsushi states, rubbing his arm. “I hate him. I just… feel like I understand his feelings of not wanting to be seen a little. That’s all.”

“Aww… but nudity is such a wonderful way to deepen partnerships—”

“We have a meeting room you could use,” Fukuzawa states. “If you’ll follow me.”

Atsushi watches Chuuya pass. He can’t help but notice Akutagawa’s expression as he does. He looks so tired…

But he pushes the worry from his mind. That’s something he’s not willing to give Akutagawa, especially since most joint missing end with him getting shot. Or impaled. Or dismembered. And eighty percent of the time, it’s Akutagawa doing it.

Fukuzawa soon re-emerges. “Your executive stayed to make sure no harm came to Akutagawa,” he announces.

Two minutes later, Dazai re-emerges arguing with Chuuya. Akutagawa, still a dragon, remains perched on Chuuya’s head.

“Quit fucking complaining.”

“But snakes are disgusting!” Dazai counters. “And I touched it. So gross…”

“He’s a dragon,” Chuuya retorts.

In response to being put down again, Akutagawa definitely sighs.

Dazai gestures to Chuuya. “Well, as you can see, it didn’t work. Akutagawa-kun is still a pathetic little dragon without the lung capacity to breathe fire.”

Atsushi hears Akutagawa’s voice as his tail droops lower. ‘Dazai-san is right. This is perhaps the lowest I’ve been.’

“Huh?” Atsushi blinks. “Akutagawa, did you say something?”

The tiny dragon glares at him. ‘And what would I have to say to you, jinko?’

Atsushi passes him a bland look. “Well, your attitude hasn’t changed, at least.” He rolls his eyes only to find both the Port Mafia and ADA members staring at him. “What?”

Out of nowhere, Gin rushes forward and takes his hands. “You can hear him?”

Akutagawa, clearly displeased, arches upward.

“I… guess so,” Atsushi states.

“Ah… thank heavens. I think the hardest part of this is that no one is able to understand him.” Gin spins to him. “Don’t worry, nii-san. The ADA’s tiger can understand you just fine. Please try not to panic too much. We’ll make sure you’re back to yourself in no time.”

‘If I am relying on this fool, I will never be human again.’

Gin lights up. “What did he say?”

Atsushi passes Akutagawa a look. “He’s grateful for your optimism and says not to worry.”

‘That is the opposite of what I said, fool.’

Kouyou laughs behind her hand. “Well, this sure does change things, doesn't it, Ougai-dono?”

“Quite,” the Port Mafia boss adds. “Akutagawa-kun, as your boss, I order you to stay with the weretiger.”

‘Like hell I will tolerate such pitiful company. Tell him, jinko.’

Atsushi looks at Mori. “He refuses. Politely.”

Mori’s eyes light up. “You dare refuse an order from your boss, Akutagawa-kun?”

‘I absolutely do. Making me stay in such a shabby—’

Atsushi pinches the bridge of his nose. Before Akutagawa can transmit a message he’d rather not deliver, he cuts in. “Never mind. He has reconsidered.”

‘I did no such—’

“Look, I don’t like this, either, but you’re going to piss your boss off.”

Akutagawa squints at him, then huffs. His tail curls through the air for a moment. ‘Very well, jinko. I command you to carry me.’

“I’m not your maid, asshole!”

Chuckling, Chuuya walks forward and plucks Akutagawa from him. Placing Akutagawa’s lanky dragon body in Atsushi’s hands, he promptly replaces his hat. “There. He’s your problem now. If any harm comes to him, I’ll turn the ADA into a crater in the ground, you get me?”

Atsushi lowers his eyes to Akutagawa, who huffs and turns away again.

In the background, Dazai claps his hands together. “Ah, thank heavens… they’re already getting along so well. Keep your good behavior up, and I just might praise you, Akutagawa-kun.”

Akutagawa turns to Dazai with a graceful bow. ‘I understand, Dazai-san. I’ll do my best to tolerate the jinko.’ Akutagawa’s head whips to him. ‘Tell him, jinko.’

Atsushi rolls his eyes. “He says he has no need of your praise—ow!”

Akutagawa gnaws on his finger, glaring and cursing.

“Cut it out! Fine! Akutagawa says he’ll do his best and looks forward to your praise.”

Instantly, Akutagawa’s jaw unclamps. He’s obviously satisfied with himself.

“If you’re going to bite me, at least make me bleed.”

‘Believe me, jinko, if I had teeth, I would.’

Soon after, the Port Mafia leaves, and Atsushi is stuck with the tiny cat-like lizard that Akutagawa has become.

“It’s not so bad, Atsushi-kun. Besides, I already know who did it. Come on. Bring the dragon, too. He’s cute.”

‘I will burn you,’ Akutagawa responds.

“Fat chance. You can’t even breathe normally when you’re human.”

‘I’ll have you know I am already a master at breathing fire. The only thing stopping me is the desire to be human again.’

“Yeah, yeah…” Atsushi plops down at the table while Ranpo wanders off to retrieve some files. Akutagawa sits on the table, compliant. At least for the moment.

When the detective returns, he flips a folder open. “There’s your culprit.”

Atsushi looks at the picture to see two individuals. “Wait a minute, Ranpo-san. You haven’t explained anything.”

“It’s all in the file,” Ranpo insists, waving his hand. The door shuts behind him, and Atsushi sighs.

Silently lamenting the gradual decline of his day, Atsushi peers at the photo paper clipped to a description. No sooner has he started reading it that Akutagawa has slinked into its center. “Akutagawa, I can’t read with you like that.”

‘You have no need to read it, fool.’

“Come on. I want this to be over, too. Here.” He scoops Akutagawa up and earns a hiss of displeasure.

‘Put me down, you cretin.’

He doesn't obey because Akutagawa demands it, but he does set Akutagawa down on his shoulder. “There. If you sit still, we can both read it.” He detaches the photo and starts to skim the text. “Let me know when you’re ready to turn the page, alright?” In the meantime, he reads the page himself. Apparently, the photo is of a pair of ability users called the Brothers Grimm. The users themselves, Jacob and Wilhem, are originally from Germany. Their ability name is listed in German, but there’s a translation in Japanese and an explanation.

Children’s and Household Tales, also known as Grimm’s Fairy Tales. The ability warps the reality surrounding its target. In the past, its users have drawn on their ability to transform people into animals, shacks into castles, and villains into royalty. The reversal of any changes caused by this ability relies on conditions whose logic often follows the stories the ability is named for.

Atsushi hums and peers at the picture again, but before he can start thinking properly, something tickles his ear. Yelping, he covers it. “Seriously, keep that tail of yours under control!”

‘It has a mind of its own, jinko.’

“Maybe we should cut it off and see if it regrows like you’re doing to my damn leg all the time.”

Akutagawa’s eyes narrow. ‘I do not need your attitude, jinko. Besides, Chuuya-san was pretty explicit in his request that you ensure my safety.’

“Whatever,” he retorts.

The dragon settles on his shoulder again. ‘Who knew the jinko’s ears were so sensitive?’

For the fourth or fifth time that day, Atsushi rolls his eyes and turns the page. “So what’s it like being a dragon anyway?”

‘I wasn’t aware this was conversation hour, jinko.’

Damn it… I let my nervous habit of talking take over. Atsushi swallows and goes back to reading.

To his surprise, Akutagawa answers a moment later. ‘It is… a remarkable change. Being cold-blooded, having four legs and a tail, lacking my ability… I would mind it less if not for the ridicule.’

Atsushi swallows. “Yeah,” he murmurs. “I get that.”

‘How could you possibly—’

Atsushi glances at the dragon on his shoulder. “Back before I knew I even had an ability, let alone control it, transforming into the tiger always left a total hole in my mind. And the things I did in that form… the trouble I caused…” He stares at the table, studying its familiar texture. “I never picked when the transformations happened. It was always during the full moon. Still, I think if I were conscious when it happened, I’d want to turn back, too.”

Akutagawa hums. His tail falls still and rests on Atsushi’s other shoulder.

“Ah. I just talked a lot. Sorry. I—”

‘The page, jinko.’

“Yeah.” He flips to the next one. “Right.”

Most of the case file is specific instances where the Brothers Grimm have used their ability, along with the conditions of how long it took to reverse the changes. Atsushi spends the most effort pondering over those. Akutagawa remains quiet.

“There… really are a lot of possibilities,” he finally says.

With a huff, Akutagawa retorts, ‘Stating the obvious as usual.’

Atsushi ignores the insult. “I’m wondering… which one, if any of them, would work on you. These are just the recorded instances, after all.” The harder he thinks, the more impossible it seems. “Their ability warps reality. They have to touch the target to initiate the change. But after that, distance and time don’t matter. Then, there’s also the matter of why I can understand you but no one else can. If that was part of the change…”

The dragon sneezes on his shoulder, and Atsushi peers at his partner.

“Akutagawa?”

‘Ignore it,’ he answers, covering his snout with his tail and letting out a small sound that resembles a cough.

Atsushi frowns and returns his attention to the file. He can’t ignore the faint shiver of Akutagawa’s small form on his shoulder. “Are you cold?”

The absence of a response says plenty on its own.

It really is one problem after another with this guy, he thinks. Out loud, he asks, “Are you done with the file?”

‘It contains nothing else.’

“Okay.” Atsushi closes it. “I’m going to take this back to Ranpo-san. Then, let me talk to Kyouka-chan alone for a bit.”

‘What you can say to her, you can say to—’

“Akutagawa,” Atsushi cuts in. “You’re staying in our dorm room. Plus, I want to see if she has any suggestions for keeping your body temperature up.”

‘I am not—’

Atsushi ignores Akutagawa’s complaint and wanders down to the vending machine, where he buys a warm can of tea. “Here.” He offers it to Akutagawa, who continues to grumble while he winds his glistening body around the drink. Atsushi half thinks Akutagawa falls asleep. He has to really work his wrist out of Akutagawa’s grasp. Once he’s loose and the can is sitting on top of his desk, also in the line of some sun, he approaches Kyouka’s. “This is rough,” he sighs.

“You can do it, Atsushi-kun,” she reassures him.

Atsushi nods and sighs. “Since… he’ll be staying with us…”

“I have an empty crate. We can give him a pillow case, and I can loan him my hot water bottle. For food, he’s not picky. But he does like figs. It might be good to buy some.”

“Can he even eat figs as a dragon?”

Kyouka glances up. “Maybe you can ask him that.”

 

The first night having Akutagawa in their dorm is nerve racking for Atsushi. He makes sure Akutagawa gets a small serving of what they’re having. The dragon surprisingly has no complaints about the meal. He uses the sink to bathe and dries off in a washcloth after he’s clean. The box winds up in Atsushi’s closet. It’s the first time Akutagawa has complained all night, but once he’s on top of the hot water bottle, he curls up and drifts off.

Atsushi sighs. “Kyouka-chan, are you sure it’s okay for him to borrow this?”

“Yes,” she answers, using a clean hand cloth to cover Akutagawa’s sleeping form. “I should be okay for another couple of days.”

Atsushi nods and goes to sleep himself. He sleeps well, all things considered, and in the morning, they eat breakfast together.

‘I must admit, I’m surprised you eat as well as you do,’ Akutagawa comments.

Atsushi hums. “Well, Kyouka-chan and I split the cooking. I actually made breakfast this morning.”

‘Is that so?’ Akutagawa crushes a bit of egg in his jaw. Once he swallows, he states, ‘Perhaps you are not totally useless after all.’

Atsushi nods and hums.

“Atsushi-kun?”

“Ah. Just thinking about a dream I had last night.”

“Ah.” Kyouka sips her tea. “What sort of dream?”

“I don't really remember,” he states. “But I do remember kissing a dragon.”

Akutagawa instantly lifts his head and snarls, ‘You what?’

“It was just a dream, Akutagawa. Seriously… chill out. The dragon wasn’t you.” He leans against his hand. “Unless you’re jealous or something, you have no reason to get mad.”

‘Have you already forgotten the file from yesterday? The case with the frog.’

Atsushi plucks through the details, flushes, and shouts, “They were married!”

“You two are partners,” Kyouka points out, as if she has followed along well enough with the conversation. “Unwilling partners, maybe, but trust is part of what makes you strong.”

Atsushi tries to imagine kissing Akutagawa in any form and shudders. “There’s no way I can do something like that!”

‘Likewise,’ Akutagawa answers, swiveling away.

Atsushi nurses the stinging shock and decides not to worry about it.

That night, Akutagawa has the hardest time getting to sleep. Atsushi only knows because he’s up reading. First, the case file, then a collection of short stories Kunikida loaned him. Between one word and another, the dragon speaks. ‘That foolish solution you came up with earlier…’

“What?” Atsushi asks, turning the page without looking away. “You want to try it?”

‘I would sooner you throw me against the wall.’

Atsushi peers at the dragon. “Don’t tempt me.”

‘You would never—’

Without hesitation, Atsushi lifts the dragon up only to have him coil around his wrist.

‘Alright, you have made your point.’

Softly, Atsushi sets him back down in the box. After a moment of thought, he shuts the book. “Maybe I can at least help you sleep.”

‘And how, pray tell, do you intend to do that? By forcing me to play fetch?’

Atsushi hums. “As a tiger, I have an off-switch.”

‘An off-switch.’ Akutagawa stares at his covers and flicks his tail. ‘I don’t get it.’

“You know… a spot that if someone touches, my brain just shuts off, and I basically turn into liquid. Kind of like a house cat.”

‘Like a housecat.’ Akutagawa’s face scrunches up like he’s focusing.

Atsushi will never say it out loud, but he thinks it’s kind of cute. “Let me see if I can find yours.”

With a scoff, Akutagawa says, ‘Try if you wish, jinko. It will do no good.’

Despite Akutagawa’s words, it takes forty-five seconds for Atsushi to find the right part of Akutagawa’s back to pinch. He flops down on his side, clearly dazed, and peers up at Atsushi. “There it is,” Atsushi comments, shifting his hand to press his thumb against the two or three scales. “Feel good?”

‘Adequate.’

“Adequate,” Atsushi echoes. “Then I’ll try moving a different way.”

This time, Akutagawa’s limbs all stretch as if by instinct. The instant he stops, Akutagawa coils his body up and shudders.

“Are you cold?”

‘I don’t know.’

It’s the first time he can recall Akutagawa not knowing something. Reaching for the hand cloth he’s using as a duvet, Atsushi pulls it under his own covers for a bit.

‘Cruel… what sort of person would—’

“Just give me a minute.” Atsushi reads another half a page, then pulls the cloth off and drapes it over Akutagawa.

‘Ah. You were warming it up for me.’

With a nod, Atsushi returns to his book.

‘Why are you kind to me, jinko?’

Atsushi turns another page.

‘I have given you no reason to—’

“Because I know what it’s like to be stuck in the body of… something else. Something that isn’t you but is.” He peers at Akutagawa for a moment, then returns his eyes to the pages. “You should rest. I imagine it’s tiring for you, being so small in a world so big.”

He thinks Akutagawa murmurs a good-night before drifting off. Before long, Atsushi feels tired as well and turns off the light in his closet. In another act of kindness, an effort to keep Akutagawa warm, he stretches a hand into the box. He puts it close enough to the dragon not to disturb him.

He’s startled awake by a tiny set of claws latch onto his index finger. Then, he closes his eyes.

Predictably, in two days, Kyouka is miserable. She’s pale, lethargic… she refuses to leave bed except to grab a chocolate bar to nibble on.

Atsushi knows the signs. He also knows Kyouka was embarrassed the first time she had to ask him for anything, but Atsushi just shrugged and said it was no problem, that that sort of thing is normal for women. He doesn’t ask too much about it. He doesn’t need to. He just knows it’s something that really affects Kyouka’s ability to function, so he does whatever it takes to support her.

That day, that also entails approaching Akutagawa, still a dragon, with a request. “I need Kyouka-chan’s hot water bottle.”

Akutagawa looks up at him. ‘What for? Don’t tell me you are in pain.’

Atsushi does his best not to react with anger. Kyouka also probably has a headache. “Akutagawa, please… I know it’s really comfortable for you, but—”

‘There is nothing in the world you could say that would make me give it up, and if you try to forcibly remove me, I will destroy it.’

Atsushi clenches his fist.

‘You wouldn’t dare even think about such a thing. You’re too soft. Too weak. This world is cruel, jinko. And when it is, you must learn to be cruel back.’

Atsushi dips his head. The familiar tears sting at his eyes.

‘Useless in everything… truly, you are—’

He drives his fist into the floor and whips to Akutagawa. “It’s not for my sake I’m asking, you asshole! Kyouka-chan is suffering! That’s the only reason I’d ever ask you for anything! To save someone else!”

Akutagawa’s tirade dies off. Through the blur of his tears, Atsushi thinks he sees a change in the shape of Akutagawa’s pupils, almost like he gets it.

With Gin around, he’d have to. He’s not totally clueless, after all.

‘I… see.’ Akutagawa uncurls and abandons his post.

Atsushi just watches.

‘Take it, jinko. Before I change my mind.’

Atsushi wipes his eyes and carefully removes the bottle from Akutagawa’s makeshift guesthouse. After refilling it with warm water, he brings it to Kyouka’s bedside.

“Atsushi-kun…”

“Sorry I yelled earlier. I know your head probably hurts.”

“That was quite the disagreement you had,” she states, taking the water bottle and pulling it under the covers. She rests it on her lower abdomen and sighs. “I’m sorry to be an inconvenience.”

“It’s okay.” Atsushi dries his eyes again. “Really, it’s okay—”

“Atsushi-kun.”

He sniffles. “Yeah?”

“If he said something cruel to you, I’ll kill him.”

It’s not funny. At least, it shouldn’t be. But with Kyouka laid up, he winds up smiling and wiping his face. “Do you need anything?”

“I’m almost out of pads,” she admits. “And I took the last Eve an hour ago.”

Atsushi nods. “Sure. Anything else?”

Kyouka pulls up her covers a little higher and mumbles something.

“Huh?”

Her eyes land on his. “Chazuke,” she murmurs.

Atsushi smiles. “Leave it to me, alright? I’ll be back in a little while. And I’ll cook you chazuke.”

Kyouka thanks him as he rises to his feet and starts towards the door. He’s surprised to hear Akutagawa call after him.

‘You are not just leaving me here.’

Atsushi wipes his eyes again. “I don’t see why I should take you.”

‘I need a heat source.’

Atsushi spits a scoff at the floor.

‘If you do me this favor, you can… try the solution you came up with.’

Atsushi glances at Akutagawa. He doesn’t really have much of a choice. The dragon curls around the back of his neck. He puts a scarf on, and after a little wiggling, Akutagawa’s head appears.

He really is cute like this, he thinks, opening the door.

On the way, Akutagawa says, ‘I understand now. Gin has had similar issues in the past. She takes care of me so often when I’m sick, I return the favor.’

“Then you’re well-versed in how this works and won’t get awkward walking through the aisle.”

With a hum, Akutagawa settles on his shoulder again.

Atsushi stops at a drug store to buy Kyouka’s supplies and a second water bottle so this argument won’t happen again. When he’s done there, he goes to a grocery store. Akutagawa’s head swivels as he passes the figs, but he voices no further complaints. Once they’re back in the dorms, Atsushi delivers Kyouka’s package and runs a bath. He plans to soak while the rice is cooking. To his surprise, Akutagawa helps, leaping down and preparing the matcha with coordinated movements of his tail.

“You have almost as much control over it as you have over Rashomon,” Atsushi marvels.

Akutagawa hums. ‘There is no need to flatter me, jinko.’

“I’m not. It’s really impressive. There’s no way I could do that as the tiger.”

With another humph, Akutagawa answers, ‘Your praise is unnecessary.’

Atsushi thinks about that while he’s in the bath. From the way he paused and looked away, he seemed almost shy.

It was probably just his imagination.

While Kyouka soaks after him, Atsushi cooks the fish under Akutagawa’s supervision. They say nothing to one another.

‘Jinko.’

“Yes?”

‘If you’re going to kiss me, I ask that you do it now before I lose my nerve, and before that girl catches us.’

He doesn’t want to. At least, he mostly doesn’t. Still, for Akutagawa’s sake, he overcomes his aversions and pecks the dragon’s nose.

Akutagawa snorts. ‘Disgusting, but if it turns me back, I will cope.’

Atsushi finishes preparing the food and spends the rest of the night aching for reasons he can’t explain. Worse still, in the morning, Akutagawa is still a dragon.

And his patience is running thin. He complains all day while Atsushi is trying to work. When Atsushi’s attention drifts away from him, the brush of Akutagawa's tail skims his ear. When he's not lamenting how bored he is, he’s complaining that Atsushi’s tactic didn’t work.

Atsushi keeps all these things private until he’s off work, at which point, he winds up slamming the dorm room door behind himself.

“Akutagawa.” He manages an even tone. “Shut up. For two seconds, just… shut up.”

With a snide scoff, Akutagawa answers, ‘Oh, so the jinko does have a temper after all. You know what they say about fools and anger…’

“Damn it.” He sinks to the floor. “I can’t believe it didn’t work. What if you’re stuck like this forever, and I’m stuck being the only one you can talk to?” Atsushi feels the weight of this new curse settle over him. “What the hell is your sibling going to do, huh? Because the Port Mafia has made you my problem… you don’t think this isn’t hard on me, too?”

‘If you think this is difficult, you don’t know the meaning of the word. Try being the dragon.’

Atsushi buries his face in his knees.

‘What? Was I too frank?’

“Fuck off,” he snaps. “Just… fuck off and leave me alone. I can’t take anymore of your attitude.”

Akutagawa’s weight remains on his shoulder, and he fights back his tears.

“You’re so narrow-minded, you can’t see how you’re not the only one suffering in this. Yeah, I get being the dragon’s hard for you. It’s not a contest, though. It’s hard for you. And it’s hard for me. And they’re different senses of hard, but they’re both still difficult. So just let me be and—”

‘I get it.’

Atsushi lifts his head.

‘I understand. Why the kiss didn’t work.’

Atsushi’s stomach sinks. “Don’t tell me I have to use tongue.”

‘No.’

That’s the best piece of news Atsushi has gotten all day.

‘It’s because it can’t be out of necessity. In the fairy tales I have read, not just any kiss will do. It has to mean something.’

Just like that, Atsushi’s hopes crumble.

‘For two people like us, who despite each other with the fury of a thousand suns, that is… impossible.’

Atsushi’s heart drops.

‘I… will be stuck like this until my life ends. And there is nothing you or I can do about it.’

Gritting his teeth, he presses a hand to his face and sniffles.

‘What are you crying for, jinko? That you are stuck with me—’

“It’s not that.” He tips his head back. “It’s not that at all. I’m crying for the people who care about you. Like Gin. And Chuuya-san.” Atsushi struggles to pull in a breath. “I’m crying because they’ll never get to have a conversation with you again. Or hug you. And your ability… Rashomon… what will it do without you?”

‘Rashomon is not like the tiger,’ Akutagawa answers. ‘So that is not something you need to cry for.’

“What about everything else?” he demands. “Are you going to make fun of me for crying about that?”

After a solemn moment, Akutagawa sighs. ‘No.’

As the tears flood his eyes, he dips his head and gives in. The sobs come harder, almost like all the tears he has ever held back are leaping free. Unbelievable, he tells himself. I’m crying like this in front of someone like Akutagawa… he’ll never let me live it—

‘Jinko.’

“Go ahead,” he demands, wiping his eyes. “Let me have it. Call me pathetic or weak or whatever.”

Akutagawa’s tail brushes along his ear. ‘I will call you none of those things.’

“Why not?” Atsushi dries his face with his arm. “Nothing’s ever stopped you before.”

He’s startled by the soft way the end of Akutagawa’s tail swipes at one of his tears. ‘If I am mocking anyone right now, it should be myself.’

Atsushi vaguely registers his mouth dropping open.

‘Ever since we were made the new Double Black by our respective organizations and circumstances, I have always called you the burden. Yet now… and perhaps always… the real burden has been me.’

Atsushi shuts his mouth and swallows.

‘My poor health, my vicious temper… those have cost us time on missions. For that, and for the burden I am now, I… am the one who should be sorry.’

He tries to see what sort of expression Akutagaw’s eyes are making, but he swivels away before Atsushi can.

‘I am a burden. To you, and to Gin… to Chuuya-san and the Port Mafia. I am the anchor that forever holds the ship back from going as far as it possibly can. I can be angry. I can deny it. But I can never escape the hindrance my actions constantly cause everyone around me.’

“Akutagawa—”

‘I should have known I would never win Dazai-san’s praise. Being stuck like this… it’s the least I deserve.’

Atsushi lifts a hand and wipes his eyes again, then caresses Akutagawa’s scales. The dragon turns to him, eyes glassy.

‘Worse still, I cannot make myself hate you nearly as much as I should. So instead, I act to make you hate me by hurting you over and over. Because I am scared of what will happen if you trust me as much as Chuuya-san trusts Dazai-san.’

“What… is there to be scared of with that?”

Akutagawa’s eyes drop. ‘I will only disappoint you.’

Atsushi fights to arrange his words in any order that makes sense. Before he can, Akutagawa speaks again.

‘The kiss did not fail because of your shortcomings. It failed because of mine. Because I will not let myself trust you. Because I do not wish to be the anchor that holds you down.’

Processing everything Akutagawa said takes time. And a long silence. Midway through, he moves to the closet. Akutagawa chooses to stay on his shoulder. Eventually, the dragon leans against Atsushi’s cheek. Atsushi answers with a little lean of his own, shutting his eyes. “You said a lot just now,” Atsushi murmurs. “Are you okay?”

‘I was not the one crying.’

“The only one, you mean.”

Akutagawa just presses harder.

“You meant it all.”

‘Perhaps I didn’t.’

With a smile, Atsushi murmurs, “You were holding those words back for a long time.” He stares at the empty dorm room, where Kyouka’s futon is neatly folded. “I changed my mind about you just now. You’re not such a bad guy if you try.”

‘I am a member of the Port Mafia. We commit literal crimes, and you are trying to tell me I am… not a bad guy.’

Atsushi shifts his weight. “I only meant you’re not as big of an asshole as I thought. Instead, you’re a bit of a softie.”

‘Tell no one.’

“I won’t.” Atsushi stretches one of his legs out. “You can trust me with a secret, Akutagawa.”

More time passes without words. Eventually, Akutagawa says, ‘And I can trust you with a way forward, whether I turn back or not.’

Ah… Atsushi sighs. “We should… try one more time.”

‘Do you wish to?’

Atsushi inhales. “I think it’s worth a shot. I feel different about it now. And I kind of want to. If it’s okay, that is. For… you know… reasons beyond just turning you back.”

‘Ah, yes, reasons… have I seduced the jinko with my emotional display?’

He knows Akutagawa is joking, but the only answer he can give is an honest one. “Yeah.”

Akutagawa’s head snaps up.

“You have. What of it?”

If dragons could blush, he imagines Akutagawa would be blushing now.

“I’m not saying I’ll feel like this towards you all the time. There’s still a lot of hurt in our partnership. Still, right now, I… feel really sorry for you, and I think you’re really cute. Not just as a dragon, either.”

‘You do not need to say such shameless things, jinko.’

He shrugs. “One of us has to.”

Akutagawa’s tail uncurls, and he leaps down. Atsushi catches him in both hands.

‘Very well, jinko. I will permit it. Just this one time. For reasons other than necessity.’

Atsushi watches Akutagawa close his eyes. “Are you sure?”

With a growl, Akutagawa begins to complain again, but he stops the minute Atsushi’s lips press against the top of his head. Atsushi closes his eyes. He hopes Akutagawa does, too, to savor this moment. When he thinks he has lingered long enough, he leans back to find Akutagawa has, indeed, closed his eyes. They flutter open now, though, gleaming in the dim light.

For one magical moment, they exchange stares. Then, Kyouka comes home, and Akutagawa goes to hide in his box.

Part of Atsushi wishes it would have lasted a little longer as Kyouka asks why his eyes are red and drops another death threat. “It’s okay,” Atsushi says. “We were both upset, but I think we’re past it now. Akutagawa needs some time alone, so let’s go out for dinner.”

On the way back from the cheap restaurant he and Kyouka eat at, Atsushi stops at the grocery store and buys a pack of figs. Akutagawa is sleeping when he returns to the closet, so he goes to sleep thinking little of it.

Something soft brushes against his face as he does. “Akutagawa…”

‘You are warmer,’ is all he says.

Atsushi smiles as he feels the dragon settle on his pillow. He half thinks to tell Akutagawa about the figs, but he decides they’ll be a nicer surprise. “You didn’t eat dinner. I can get you some leftovers if you’re hungry.”

‘Your warmth is all I need right now, jinko.’ He feels the dragon’s muzzle press against his cheek before he curls up.

“What was that, huh?”

‘A good-night kiss,’ Akutagawa retorts. ‘Now sleep, jinko.’

“Good night,” Atsushi murmurs, smiling as he shuts his eyes again.

That night, he dreams of a ship and an anchor. The anchor, deep beneath the water, is stuck on a wreckage of some past ship, but the vessel strains and strains until the chain snaps in half.

At some point, he’s the ocean, and the ship is sitting on his chest. Groaning, Atsushi stirs as something soft brushes against his face. A little light pours through the closet door, accompanied by the smell of whatever Kyouka is cooking. His arm is asleep. Something heavy is on top of him.

Bending his arm, he finds the sensation of skin beneath it.

His eyes snap open. Horror begins to overcome his senses. Tipping his eyes, he finds his bed occupied by a very human—and very naked—Akutagawa. Atsushi yells as he shoots up and scoots backwards. Akutagawa’s head drops to the floor, and he swears.

“Will you be quiet, jinko? You are a wonderful pillow. I insist you come back here and—”

But Atsushi is too busy staring at Akutagawa’s body.

A pillow hits him in the face. When he lowers it, Akutagawa is wrapped in his blankets, possessed by Rashomon, and blushing. “You despicable fool. How dare you—”

“I didn’t mean to stare, honest! I just thought you were…” Atsushi’s voice trails off. “Really pretty.”

Atsushi isn’t sure whether Akutagawa’s expression tends more towards outrage or mortification, but the result is the same: the blankets swallow him. “Stop talking before I cease to exist, jinko.”

“I’m sorry! Honest, I’ll forget everything I saw! I swear—”

A strand of Rashomon wraps around his ankle and drags him across the floor. Atsushi would claw the carpet if it wouldn’t mean paying a repair service. Once he’s close enough, Akutagawa’s glaring eye appears from beneath the covers.

“Akutagawa, what are you doing? What—”

A hand lands in the middle of his chest. Instantly, his clothing disintegrates to threads. “Equalizing our situations, jinko,” Akutagawa answers.

Atsushi feels his face growing red.

“You got an excellent look at my body, so it is my turn to examine yours.”

“What the hell, Akutagawa? It was an accident! Who does that?”

Akutagawa wrestles him down and pins him there with the covers. “It’s only fair—”

“Ah.”

Atsushi flushes and tips his eyes to find Kyouka standing in sight with her usual blase expression. The blankets conceal the most personal parts of both of them. Still, he flushes.

“So this is what Chuuya-san meant by weird mating rituals.”

Akutagawa descends beside him, and the covers engulf them both. “That’s not what it is, I swear! Anyway, just go to work so I can get some clothes, and call the Port Mafia so Akutagawa can get some, too.”

“I’ll call them in twenty minutes. That should give you plenty of time to finish.”

“Like I said, it’s not that at all!” With a woeful moan, Atsushi covers his face and rolls over. The sound of his front door closing brings little comfort. “Ah… looks like I’m in for another horrible day. Dazai-san will never let me hear the end of this…” He perks his head up and throws Akutagawa a glare. “What the hell were you thinking?”

With a smug shrug, Akutagawa shuffles.

“Wait… what are you doing? You…”

His head rests on Atsushi’s bare shoulder again. “Five more minutes, jinko. You are by far the best pillow I have ever had, and a good personal heater to boot.”

Normally, Atsushi would decline, but given cuddles are all Akutagawa seems interested in, he supposes he can allow it just this once. He feels the gentle brush of Akutagawa’s nose on his face. With a deep breath, Atsushi says, “We need to talk about it.”

“It will spoil the moment.”

Atsushi swallows. “Can we talk about it after the moment passes, then?”

“You’re not going to let this go, are you, jinko?”

He contemplates backing down and confesses, “I can’t. Because I feel like all of this isn’t just about you being a dragon.” He feels Akutagawa’s lashes brush against his cheek.

“You didn’t need to see me naked to turn back.”

“I wanted to.”

“Akutagawa, you can’t just strip me that way. You could have asked.”

“To be denied?”

Atsushi swallows. “I mean yeah, right now. But not every time. Someday when I trusted you enough, I’d let you see.”

Akutagawa is looking at him fully now.

“I meant what I said about your body. About you.”

“I believe that opinion goes both ways, jinko.”

He turns to Akutagawa. “Maybe… this wasn’t just about changing shapes. You know fairy tales. They’re often about changes in character.”

Akutagawa nods and shuts his eyes again. “Tell me what you wish, jinko.”

“I want you to stop hurting me.”

“I will… try. And by that, I mean my hurt will not extend to your body, or at the very least not be intentional.” Akutagawa sinks down a little. “I will also stop slowing you down.”

“Yeah, well… maybe I was slowing you down a little, too.”

That feels like a good place to stop. Beneath the covers, Akutagawa’s fingers brush against his. Sending a sigh at the ceiling, he parts his own to make space.

“I’m kind of going to miss you, you know.”

“The dragon, you mean?”

“No.” Atsushi smiles as Akutagawa’s fingers slide between his. “It’s more… I was kind of getting used to having you here.”

Akutagawa’s quiet hum fills his ear. A moment later, the now human Akutagawa stretches an arm across him and traces the shell of his ear.

“Akuta… ah…”

“From the way your body is going limp, I can guess this is your off button.”

Atsushi hums. “Nice… really nice…”

Akutagawa lets out a little huff that Atsushi knows is a snicker. “I could use this against you, jinko.”

“Not if you don’t want to hold me back anymore.”

For once, Akutagawa concedes. He rests with his nose pressed against the side of Atsushi’s face until Atsushi thinks he has drifted off again. “It’s been more than five minutes.”

“Maybe I’m not ready to move yet.”

“Well…” Akutagawa’s hands trail down the side of his neck and settle on his shoulder. “Take your time.”

Thankfully, Akutagawa lets him get dressed after Atsushi’s best estimate of five more minutes have passed. Counting the conversation, they were there for fourteen, but Atsushi’s not going to tell him that. Shortly after he’s wearing his usual attire, Kyouka brings a bag of clothes for Akutagawa, and they both give him space to change. Chuuya hangs out in the office, bickering with Dazai. Eventually, Akutagawa joins them holding the bag of figs, wearing his usual attire and a deeper frown than unusual.

“Um… good morning, Akutagawa.”

“Explain,” he demands.

Atsushi folds his arms. “I got them for you for breakfast.”

Instantly, all of his anger turns to focus. In the background, Chuuya frowns and tips his head. He’s not even trying to hide the fact that he’s studying them.

Ignoring him, Atsushi turns back to Akutagawa. “I saw you looking at them the other day when we went to the grocery, so I went back to get them for you since you were having a really rough day yesterday. You know… to cheer you up.”

“Ah.”

Atsushi glances back to Chuuya to find Dazai has materialized and joined him.

“I suppose I should thank you for helping me.”

“There’s really no need to…”

Akutagawa’s hand lands on his desk.

“Um…” Flushing, he panics. He can’t just pretend yesterday didn’t happen, let alone this morning, but the thought of what Akutagawa is about to do scrambles his thoughts. He scrunches his eyes shut, hoping to get it over with quickly.

But the kiss he’s expecting never comes. Instead, Akutagawa’s forehead presses against his, their noses touch, and Atsushi’s eyes fly open to find Akutagawa looking at him.

Chuuya and Dazai are both definitely staring.

“Since a kiss is no good, will this suffice?”

Atsushi digests the words and murmurs, “I… don’t want you to leave without one.”

“Very well…” Akutagawa’s hand steadies his face. “Atsushi.”

Unlike their failed attempt at transforming Akutagawa back, this isn’t something they rush. But it’s also not something Akutagawa takes too far. A simple brush of his lips against Atsushi’s, a still moment where he thinks they’re both savoring it, and the black dog of the Port Mafia draws away.

“I confess,” Akutagawa states. “I think it’s nicer when we are both human, jinko.”

“Yeah,” Atsushi breathes, forcing a smile and looking at their audience.

Except now, it’s the entire ADA.

“Atsushi-kun, congratulations on your first kiss!” Ranpo announces. "And since the old man's too stunned to speak, good job on single-handedly getting the agency out of debt! Speaking of..." He whips to the rest of them. “Pay up before noon, or I’ll extort all of you.” Then, he returns to napping on the surface of his own desk.

After Akutagawa leaves, Atsushi gathers the entire ADA had bets placed on when Akutagawa would turn back and the particular devices necessary to undo the changes Grimm’s Fairy Tales had inflicted on him. Unsurprisingly, Atsushi failed to notice because he was so wrapped up in taking care of Akutagawa. Equally unsurprising is the revelation that Ranpo won the betting pool.

“You don’t seem upset at all, Atsushi-kun,” Kenji states.

Atsushi shrugs. “I guess I’m not. I learned something, and I think with this, we can start to move past the pain we’ve caused each other.”

“Learned something, huh?” Kenji smiles. “City folk sure are strange.”

It’s true. Akutagawa isn’t the only one who changed because of the Grimm Brothers and their odd ability. He gets it now. The situation changed them both: their feelings, their trust, their views of one another. Akutagawa isn’t the anchor weighing him down anymore. He never was in the first place even if that’s how he saw himself deep down. Instead, he’s the wind carrying him closer to a horizon he can’t get to on his own.

Atsushi smiles and looks forward to learning what that horizon holds, both for him and for the partner he fears a little less. There’s still healing to do on both sides, but he feels they’ve taken a step forward.

Maybe at the end of this, there’s some kind of happily ever after for us. But right now… Atsushi leans against his hand and smiles. I think it’s just as important to realize the happier ever after we have right now.

Notes:

I shall call him... Noodlegawa. And if anyone wants to draw him, go for it. He is very cute. And not dangerous at all.

Thanks for reading, everyone! I hope you enjoyed this utter stupidity. It's way different than a bunch of the other stuff I've written, and it is at the moment one of the dumbest (positive) things I have written. Endnote time!

The title: Is from the idea that at least, Akutagawa and Atsushi are a little happier now. I almost used the anchor/ship metaphor, but I was worried that might suggest a pirate AU. I know the title now suggest a fairy tale AU/retelling, but since the Grimm Brothers were the ability users that cursed Akutagawa, it kind of works better in my mind. (I still like the ship line, not going to lie.)

Last-minute changes: I made Akutagawa and Atsushi talk about the Rashomon shenanigans (hence the tags "Questionable Use of Rashomon" and the immediate follow up of "No Sex"). I also added the "Happier ever after" and ran spell check. And yet, I still missed a misspelled Ranpo (Ranop) and several variants of misspelled Akutagawa (including "Akutgawa"). But I think I got them all in the end.

How I confused my Google Search History Monitor: The Grimm Brothers and the original "Princess and the Frog" story. They wrote it. By the way, Atsushi's joke about chucking Akutagawa against a wall is 100% the real ending of the original fairy tale. Eve is not a Google, but I know it’s a brand of Japanese NSAID (ibuprofen, I think).

On the prompts: This bot genuinely has it out for me. My original roll was "co-dependency, character/s are hallucinating stressful moments from tehri past, confusing the past and reality and possibly hurting those around them without realizing it, sex pollen, and Genie AU." Which, like, maybeeee I could have made sex pollen work. I opted to reroll and got... I shit you not... leather, a character is turned into an animal, bondage, and body control. Yeah. So. Originally, I was going to tie someone up, but I'm all porned out. So one of the server folks suggested someone getting turned into an animal. So Noodlegawa was born, smol sneky dragoncritter. He's adorable in my mind. SSKK seemed like the natural route. Plus, Atsushi can hard relate into being an animal.

And that about does it for this silliness. I hope everyone enjoyed the ridiculousness that is this fic. Thank you so much for reading, and until my next update, don't forget to drink water!