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The first time Alhaitham saw Kaveh when he came back from the desert, the man had a different style of shirt on, and his cape was missing.
With anyone else, he wouldn’t have cared. He wouldn’t even have noticed, probably. People’s outfits just…weren’t his real interest. People just wore what they wore. Even his own clothes were because he was comfortable and felt good in them. There were a few exceptions—Kaveh was one. Tighnari, Cyno, Collei, and Nahida were also part of that group. Well, presumably Nahida was part of that group. He hadn’t known her for very long. But Kaveh wore a specific style of shirt, even when the colors were different. The collar was high, there was a window for his chest, and the back was open. Even his cape was a specific, almost feathery design, and he always wore it.
The new cape was the right color—mostly red, with sections of black and blue and gold. It had the familiar ornaments at the collar, and the tassels. The patterns were close to what they were meant to be. But it didn’t split in half. Kaveh’s new shirt, however, was the wrong color. It was the same blue as his sash. But it was blue. There were small clips at the sleeves and the sides, just barely visible. The collar was high, the sleeves were long, and he seemed…different.
“Alhaitham.” Kaveh began, walking up to him. As he did, Alhaitham was already looking at his book. He'd already decided that he wasn’t going to rise to whatever fight the man had planned. He was tired after the revolt, he was tired from his new Acting Grand Sage work, and he was tired of working with the committees to get someone else in the Grand Sage spot.
“Kaveh,” he greeted in a cool, solid tone. It didn’t invite fighting, but it didn’t stop it, either. If Kaveh wanted a fight, he could try his darndest.
Apparently, Kaveh didn’t want to fight.
“I heard you became the Acting Grand Sage.” He said, almost…modestly? After a moment, Alhaitham needed to check and see that he was looking at Kaveh and not someone who looked similar. There was no mistaking those red carnelian eyes, though. He’d been looking at them for quite some time, after all. “Congratulations.”
Looking at him, Alhaitham prompted, “Are you…alright, Kaveh?” His eyes flicked down to Kaveh’s collar. Turning away, Kaveh shrugged.
“You are one of the best people for the job. I know you don’t—you’re good at—this sort of thing.” Shifting where he stood, Kaveh took a shaky breath. Was he wounded in the desert? Maybe he just has a sunburn. He always has had delicate skin. “So…congratulations.”
“You don’t think that you would be a better candidate?” Alhaitham asked. He meant it as a tease. As he watched, Kaveh’s face paled. Mouth drawing into a thin line, he shook his head.
“No, no, I…” Shaking his head, Kaveh turned and flashed him a smile. It didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ll make something for dinner, for the both of us. To celebrate. How does Sabz Meat Stew sound?”
“It’s the only stew I like.” Alhaitham pointed out. And it’s not easy to make went unspoken. Still, Kaveh shrugged.
“Then I’ll see you back at the house. Congratulations on the new position again, Alhaitham.” Turning, he hurried off. As he did, he paused to nod to the Traveler and Paimon. Alhaitham watched him go, even as Paimon and her less-verbose companion approached.
Why is he wearing gloves?
Cyno showed up four days later, a grim expression on his face.
“Hello?” Alhaitham asked, curious. “Are you…investigating something?” Cyno had already been returned to the position of General Mahamatra. Still, he didn’t expect Cyno to be at his house of all places.
“Something like that. Confidential information.” Cyno explained. With a glance over Alhaitham’s shoulder, he asked, “Is Kaveh here?”
“You need Kaveh for something?” Alhaitham prompted, incredulous. “Is something going on with Kshahwrewar?”
“I’m afraid that information is on a need-to-know basis.” Cyno replied. “Is he here or not?”
“I think so. You might as well come inside so you can find him.” Alhaitham let him in. Turning on his heel, he glanced around the rooms. Before the revolution, he would normally expect to find Kaveh in his room working on a project, or in their library complaining about how the paintings were hung. Now, though…he really didn’t know. It seemed random. Day one, Kaveh had spent the entire time in the kitchen or the garden, making food or doing chores like he expected Alhaitham to kick him out or hurt him if he didn’t. Day two, he had relaxed more, but he was still cooking. Every meal, which was weird because Alhaitham knew that wasn’t how their division of chores went. The house hadn’t looked cleaner in years. Day three, Kaveh had cleaned Alhaitham’s books without moving them or even complaining about their spot or the stacks they were kept in. When he was finished with that, he dusted the rooms, did the laundry, even did the beds. Which, his bed? Sure. That made sense, Kaveh cleaned his own sheets at least twice a month. Alhaitham’s bedsheets were not his responsibility, though. Kaveh hadn’t touched the coffee machine except to make Alhaitham’s coffee, and he hadn’t complained about the smell. He’d done the dishes that night when that wasn’t his job if he had cooked.
Alhaitham had thought it was because Kaveh had been trying to get on his good side now that he was the Scribe, but he hadn’t seen him outside of meals and brief glimpses when Kaveh brought him food or something. It wasn’t that he had gotten a large commission and enough Mora to start trying to move out. When Alhaitham contacted Dori to drop off the next installment of Kaveh’s debt (that was where the rent went), she hadn’t mentioned Kaveh making more than his typical payments. There had been no sign of Kaveh trying to move out, or getting a new commission, or…anything. He was just…
It was like he was trying to hide. He’d showered every day, and yet Alhaitham didn’t find any fog or wet towels when he used the room afterwards. The mirrors had been wiped down. Maybe they hadn’t fogged up in the first place, actually. From what he could guess, Kaveh hadn’t used the hot water. He normally did.
Kveh wasn’t acting normal.
“Do you know where he is?” Cyno asked when Alhaitham came out of the library. "He should be here."
"He hasn’t left the house in four days, I’ll admit.” Alhaitham commented. Glancing around, he added, “I don’t know where he is. He’s…been acting a little odd.”
“What do you mean by that?” Cyno prompted. Looking at him, Alhaitham studied the man. There was an odd expression on his face.
“Are you…interrogating me?” There was a pause. Cyno swallowed. Then, he shifted on his feet, sighed, and looked around. “You can just ask me normally.”
“I’m not…trying to interrogate you. We’ve been talking to the Sages for a while to get information. I might still be in that mode.” Straightening up, Cyno continued, “I’m concerned about Kaveh’s wellbeing right now. One of the Matras had a family member who…took his own life. There are warning signs for this sort of thing.”
“You think Kaveh would—”
“Probably not. But we’re investigating something he may be involved in, and I want to ask him some questions.”
“And you think this won’t worsen it?”
When Alhaitham continued to stare at him, Cyno swallowed. Then, he sighed. His eyes wandered the house. “It might worsen it. I’ll connect him to someone who can help, but I can’t do that if I don’t talk to him. Besides, the other option is worse.”
“The other option? And what’s that? Need to know?” Cyno bristled. Behind him, Alhaitham heard the door to the garden open. Kaveh entered the room.
“Cyno?” His tone was soft, oddly so. There was a hoarse rasp in his voice. Now that Alhaitham thought about it, it had for days. Swallowing, Kaveh glanced between Cyno and Alhaitham. “What’s going on?”
“Cyno’s here to interrogate you about something.” Kaveh’s face paled. Behind him, Cyno snorted.
“That’s not what’s happening.” Turning to Kaveh, Cyno explained, “We’re here to talk about what happened in the desert. I thought it would be better for it to be me than someone else.”
“You have the right to ask for someone else or more formal documentation,” Alhaitham said. Carefully, Kaveh picked his way across the room to pause by his side. “I don’t know as much about the Matra as I would prefer, but you can tell them to—”
“It’s alright.” Kaveh said, shockingly. Blinking, Alhaitham looked at him. Unusually, Kaveh didn’t meet his gaze. He kept his eyes on Cyno. “It’ll be better to get it over with now with Cyno.”
“Alright.” Taking a breath, Alhaitham asked, “There’s a grocery list on the counter, right?”
This time, Kaveh did look at him, head snapping around and eyes wide. “You don’t—I can—”
“It’s fine. I would prefer you to be somewhere comfortable in this sort of situation. If Cyno does something wrong, I’m sure I can make a report.” He met Cyno’s gaze. There was a nod. “You’re the one who’s been doing all the chores and cleaning. I may as well contribute to some degree.”
This time, Kaveh nodded, relenting. Alhaitham offered up the library for their discussion. Then, he went off to find the list and the basket Kaveh usually used for their groceries. Kaveh had willingly gone to talk with Cyno. Alhaitham didn’t know what was going on.
For now, the least he could do was give Kaveh the privacy that he deserved.
A week had passed since the revolution, and Kaveh had only gotten worse.
Cyno had shown up several more times, as had Nilou and Dehya. From what Alhaitham knew, Tighnari was sending letters through the dusk birds. He hadn’t come himself—he’d been wounded while protecting Haypasia, and badly. Lightning strikes weren’t something to take lightly. Tighnari wasn’t even off of bed rest yet, much to his chagrin. It had had to be forced on him by the Forest Rangers, Cyno, and Collei.
For now, Alhaitham was in the Grand Sage office while Kaveh was with Nilou. He didn’t know what they were talking about. Kaveh was at their home, though. Pacing the floor, Alhaitham glanced at the finished, answered proposals on his desk. Not a single one from Kshahwrewar. No one from their entire Darshan, let alone Kaveh, had made a request for funding, or given any research proposals, or anything of the sort.
Which meant that Kaveh wasn’t trying to get on his good side.
On the other side of Alhaitham’s office, Nahida swung on a seat connected to nothing. Wide green eyes studied him. “You’re stressed.”
“Stating the obvious.” Alhaitham grumbled.
“Sometimes stating the obvious is necessary for the sake of everyone else.” Nahida replied, clinging to the vines on either side of her. “It’s a way to start a conversation. What is it that’s stressing you out?”
Biting the inside of his cheek, Alhaitham turned to look at her. “It’s…my roommate. Kaveh. He’s…I think something happened to him while he was in the desert. The General Mahamatra has had to question him.”
“And you know he’s not the one in trouble?” Nahida prompted. Looking at her, Alhaitham scowled.
“Kaveh? He would never. He—he’s one of the nicest people I know.” Placing his hands on his desk, looking at the stack of papers, Alhaitham continued, “There’s no—no. Especially because Cyno wouldn’t question him like that. He can be affected by his relationships with other people, but Cyno is one of the most dedicated men I know. He gave up the position of General Mahamatra for the sake of saving Sumeru and upholding that justice he fights to hard to—to keep.” Sighing, he drew a hand over his face.
Behind him, Nahida hummed. She swung back and forth a few times, kicking her legs calmly. She watched him with those large green eyes of hers. Then, she smiled softly. “You trust him a lot, Alhaitham.”
He stared at her.
“I do.” He murmured. Looking back to the papers, he sighed and straightened up. “And I trust him to be able to handle himself. If I want to help him, then I’ll just have to be open. When he’s ready to talk to me, then he will.”
The next thing he knew, Nahida was putting her hand on his shoulder. With a jolt, he turned to look at her. She smiled at him. “Alhaitham.” Taking a breath, she continued, “You know who I am. So listen to me when I tell you that listening to this—”
She touched him in the middle of his forehead.
“—is not always the way. Sometimes, you have to listen to this.” Dropping her hand, she rested her fingers and palm over his heart. Blinking, he followed the gesture. When he looked up at her, she smiled at him again. “Kaveh is wonderful. His ambition, his passion, comes from his heart. Yours comes from your mind. There’s nothing wrong with relying on the other, though. For the both of you.”
Swallowing, Alhaitham nodded once. “Thank you, Nahida.”
“You’re welcome. Now, that’s enough for today.” Flapping her hands at him, Nahida fluttered around and began chasing him from his office. Yelping, Alhaitham backed up towards the door. “Go home! It’s five o’clock, you want to go home. You always go home at this time.”
“I don’t know—maybe not, Nahida—” This was quite the situation, honestly. As she bustled him out into the hallway, he kept trying to slow down. “He needs some time on his own, he doesn’t need me to be there—”
“Maybe he does.” Nahida replied, leading him from the building. “Besides, you’ve been pacing for so long it’s making me sick. I didn’t even know I could be sick.” The words were gentle. As they stood outside the door, Nahida touched his arm and smiled up at him.
Looking at her, Alhaitham paused. “Thank you, Nahida.”
“Just tell him that his Archon wishes him well. And he can come and speak to me at any time, on personal terms. No Lesser Lord Kusanali.” Nodding, he stumbled back. With a laugh, Nahida shoved him until he started walking back. “Go. Get some rest. Talk to me tomorrow.”
Alhaitham walked back to his and Kaveh’s house in silence.
It was comfortable. Alhaitham had always been someone who enjoyed his silence. Even before he was living alone, when he was with his grandmother. The both of them had been the same way. They would spend some time sipping tea in the afternoons and reading, but not speaking.
Kaveh’s entire existence, up until this sudden change, had been loud. He lived vibrantly, like colors that had been brought to their full saturation. Originally, when they first met, Alhaitham had been…furious with it. With him.
Now, he would do anything for Kaveh.
And he would do anything for Kaveh to feel safe enough to go back to…whatever their new normal could be.
When he walked up to the door, slowly opening it, he found himself listening for Cyno and Kaveh already. They were talking, but he couldn’t hear exactly what it was. I may as well make them some tea. Should probably turn off my hearing aids for a little bit, though would Kaveh and Cyno want to talk to me? I don’t want to seem like I’m ignoring them, but then—
Shaking his head as he went about making tea, Alhaitham just decided the easiest thing to do would be reciting as many numbers in every language he knew instead of listening to their conversation. If he heard his name, then he would pay attention. Otherwise, he wouldn’t. Kaveh and Cyno’s conversations were their own.
As he walked over, balancing two cups of Kaveh’s favorite tea (little bit of milk, two sugar cubes) and a plate of small shortbread cookies on his arms, Alhaitham picked up on his name and tuned in. “…Alhaitham?” That was Cyno.
Does he need to question me as well? There was a small pause. It felt…pregnant, somehow, like there was more Alhaitham had missed out on.
“No.” Kaveh murmured. There was the shift of fabric. He was replacing his clothes. “He’s stressed enough from being the Acting Grand Sage. I—I can’t burden him with…this.”
“With you?” There was another pause. With a sigh, Cyno let out a grunt that Alhaitham knew all too well was the familiar pain of knees that should not be hurting but did anyways. “Everything seems to be healing well. Tighnari asked me to bring some creams over for—you know. If you remember something else, you swear that you’ll contact me?”
“Yes, Cyno. You or Tighnari, I know the protocol.” Panicked, Alhaitham tipped his head from one side to the other, hitting the buttons on his headphones to turn off the hearing aids. Then, he carefully strode to the door and knocked.
“You’ll need to come open the door for me, I can’t hear anything!” He called to them. After a second, Cyno opened the door. He watched Alhaitham for a second. His mouth kept moving. Alhaitham didn’t even try to read his lips—it was either a language he did not know, or Cyno was making up terms. Or maybe he was talking about TCG. Still, the General Mahamatra was using his body to block the view of the room behind him.
Apparently, Kaveh said something, because Cyno glanced back at him. Then, with a nod, he stepped to the side. Alhaitham came in.
“I still can’t hear you, whatever you’re saying. Decided to bring you both tea.” He set the cups and plate down on the bedside table. When he turned, reaching up to turn his hearing aids back on, Cyno had his arms crossed and was watching him from the door. Narrowed orange eyes stared him down like he was a criminal. At the bed, Kaveh held out a hand. Then, Cyno relaxed. With his hearing back, Alhaitham glanced at him. “Also shortbread. I think the recipe is from Nahida? Might be from the Traveler, I’m unsure.”
Normally, Kaveh would make a crack at Alhaitham being unsure of something. Despite that…he didn’t. Another strange thing that had happened in the past four days since he returned. When Kaveh turned to the tea, a small smile on his face, Alhaitham glanced at Cyno.
Apparently, he looked more panicked than he thought.
Reeling back slightly like he’d been shocked, Cyno glanced between Alhaitham and Kaveh.
“Thank you, Alhaitham.”
Wiping his expression to something neutral, Alhaitham turned back to Kaveh. Sitting on the bed, shifting his sleeves up like he was trying to hide something, Kaveh looked up and met his gaze. There was a soft smile on his face. It didn’t reach his eyes. Like this, Alhaitham could see how high-necked his new shirt was. It reached all the way up to the underside of his chin, tracing his jawline. He'd noticed how high the collar was, he knew how high Kaveh’s shirt collar typically was, but—
“Of course, Kaveh.” He glanced at Cyno. “Are you going to stay, General? I made two cups of tea for a reason.”
“You didn’t make one for yourself?” Cyno asked.
“I haven’t been talking for hours. I thought the two of you might want some refreshments. You’re welcome to it if you so wish.” He gestured to the other cup. Looking at it, Cyno hummed.
“Unfortunately, I have to make my report with the other Matra and organize some things, so I’ll have to turn you down. Have a good night. Kaveh.” Cyno nodded to him. Then, he turned and left. The door closed a few minutes afterwards.
“Alhaitham.” He turned to look at him. Tilting his head to the side, Kaveh smiled at him welcomingly, “Do you want to join me for tea? There is an extra cup.”
Smiling, Alhaitham went to sit by him. Kaveh shifted to the side, turning away. His face was flushed, ears and cheeks turning pink. It had to just be a sunburn or something like that. He wasn’t…shaking his head, Alhaitham turned to the tea.
Kaveh’s tea was always too sweet for him.
The same as Kaveh was.
Kaveh approached him three days later, looking very nervous.
The situation hadn’t changed. Cyno would come by every day, Alhaitham would return and try to bring them something to eat. Food, tea, at least just a water bottle. With each time that he did, Cyno would relax a little bit more, and he would stay just a little while longer. He didn’t look as angry, or as stressed.
For Kaveh, though…he hadn’t changed. He had remained as distant as ever, as worn as he was before. If Alhaitham wanted to talk, then he had to seek Kaveh out, not the other way around. Sometimes, Kaveh’s face also changed when he saw how Alhaitham was speaking to him. It was like he expected Alhaitham to be yelling at him.
Which—no. No. Alhaitham wouldn’t—not right then. When Kaveh needed to have someone be blunt with him, then Alhaitham would be that. Right then, though, Kaveh needed something gentler than that. Alhaitham’s everything was telling him he needed to help. He couldn’t not.
Still, when Kaveh walked up to him, Alhaitham closed his book and rested it in his lap, turning to look at him.
Kaveh swallowed. Shifting on his feet, he looked at Alhaitham. “What is it, Kaveh?” He prompted, gently.
Wringing his hands, Kaveh took a slow, shaking breath. “Uhm…Collei is coming over today. Do you mind…coming with me to pick up something from the markets? Some—like—snacks or something?” He looked so scared.
Setting his book on the table, Alhaitham said, “No, of—of course, Kaveh. When do you want to go?”
“Uhm…would right now be okay?” Kaveh’s gaze met his. He still looked so panicked. It was like he was afraid Alhaitham would snap almost any second and hit him. “I wanted to make pita pockets.”
“Of course. Let me get my wallet and then we can go.” Alhaitham pushed himself up, hurrying to his room. When he returned, Kaveh was adjusting his cape again. He’d pulled a small bag from his pocket. Alhaitham had seen it a few times now—they were painkillers. Kaveh popped one or two into his mouth. Almost on instinct, he reached for the cup Alhaitham had left. Then, he froze in the middle of the move and dry-swallowed, which could not have been fun. His face twisted slightly.
Alhaitham knocked his shoulder against the hallway doorframe as walked out. Kaveh’s head snapped up, and he tucked the pills away with a swipe of his hand behind him. It was such a subtle move that Alhaitham wouldn’t have seen it if he hadn’t known to look.
“Ready to go?” He asked. Nodding, Kaveh smiled.
The market was…enjoyable.
As they walked, Kaveh yet again didn’t act the way Alhaitham was used to. His gaze wandered, but it was…off. His eyes darted around, he placed a hand on Alhaitham’s arm and tucked it into the crook of his elbow to hold him close. His gloves brushed against Alhaitham’s skin. It was the first time they’d really touched in days. If Alhaitham had had a nose like Tighnari’s, or that one Inazuman that the Traveler had mentioned, then he was sure he’d be able to smell the anxiety coming off of Kaveh.
It only stopped when they got back home, and even then, the line of Kaveh’s shoulders barely relaxed. He paced around the kitchen after finishing the pita pockets, then paced the entire area. On the couch, Alhaitham watched, worriedly.
Kaveh had only been gone for two weeks.
What happened to him?
Collei kicked Alhaitham out as soon as he had brought more shortbread and tea to them.
Normally, he would be offended. As he thought about it, though—how Cyno, Tighnari, and now Collei had been appearing at his house in the past couple of days—he was starting to put the pieces together. So, when he was kicked out for the third day in a row, yet again by Collei, Alhaitham found himself walking to the Matra headquarters.
He didn’t want to abuse his Acting Grand Sage abilities. He didn’t even want to use them to find out exactly what had happened. But he wanted to make sure it wasn’t…well, Kaveh sometimes got himself into bad situations.
He wanted to ease some of his worse fears.
Cyno found him before he could even get up the stairs, grabbing him by the arm and leading him somewhere else. Alhaitham didn’t bother to ask where. When Cyno stopped, they were in a more hidden garden.
Whipping around, Cyno shoved him in the shoulder, “What are you doing here?”
“Collei is with Kaveh. I came to ask—”
“I’m not telling you what happened.” Cyno snapped. “And you can’t force me.”
“I won’t try to.” Alhaitham replied. Eyes narrowing, Cyno stalked around him with his polearm drawn. Slowly, Alhaitham turned to watch him. “I swear it, General Mahamatra. I—I’m concerned. For Kaveh.”
“You should be. Haven’t you seen the way he is?” Cyno came to a stop, planting the head of his polearm in the dirt beneath him. There was a flash of gold in his eyes, glowing violet and Electro at his hands.
“The anxiety? The fear? I can’t even talk to him without him looking like he expects me to hit—”
Cyno’s expression twisted. Oh. Alhaitham blinked a few times as the realization hit, like that would somehow make it better. Like he could wake up, and everything would be back to normal and Kaveh would be fine.
“The bandages. You brought him numbing cream for injuries, Tighnari’s given him painkillers. He’s terrified to drink from anything he’s taken his eyes off of or that’s not his own.” Pulling back, he kept looking at Cyno. Then, quietly, he asked, “Cyno, did—was Kaveh assaulted?”
Looking at him, Cyno swallowed. His face shifted. Breath quickening, Alhaitham glanced at where they had come from, looking away. Cyno grabbed his arm. “Alhaitham—”
“We have to find—”
“No. You don’t have to find anyone.” His polearm was gone. Settling his hands on Alhaitham’s shoulders, Cyno said, “The Matra and I have it handled. I promise, Alhaitham, we have who’s responsible. We’re doing the investigation now and figuring out how to proceed. And it’s…Kaveh’s been wounded, yes, but it only went as far as beatings and physical violence. Nothing further.”
“You swear it?” Alhaitham looked at him.
“Tighnari does. He did. If you feel the need to ask, then ask him. He might even send you the report. Just—please.” Cyno’s grip on his upper arm tightened when he tried to pull away. “Alhaitham. Kaveh needs you to be normal.”
“Normal? Why would I need to be—” Another realization hit. Pulling away, he looked at Cyno. Their gazes met again. “I need to go home.”
“Tell Kaveh I said hello.” Cyno replied. Nodding, Alhaitham turned and darted away.
He ran through the streets. He didn’t really care who saw him. Instead, he hurried up the steps and shoved the door open. Collei and Kaveh were curled up on the couch, reading a book. He couldn’t see what it was about. Glancing at Collei, Alhaitham turned to Kaveh.
“Can we—can we talk, Kaveh? Please?” He glanced at Collei again. Tilting her head to the side, she glanced at Kaveh. Swallowing, Kaveh watched him. “Oh, uh—sorry. Cyno says hello.”
Something about that statement made Kaveh and Collei’s faces change. Gently, Collei touched his arm. Kaveh glanced at her. “Why don’t you take that book home with you? Oh, I think we have some extra baklava, you can take that as well. Lesser Lord Kusanali knows that I make far too much.” Nodding, Collei followed Kaveh to the kitchen, clutching the book to her chest. Alhaitham went and sat down on one of the couches, rubbing at his own chest as his heart twisted. His knee bounced.
As soon as the door was closed, Kaveh glanced at him. “So, you know?” He prompted.
Looking over, Alhaitham crossed his arms, tightened his grip on himself. “I do. Sort of. I was…the way you were acting about touch, and at the market, it made me worried that you had been—assaulted.” He tilted his head to the side. Walking over, Kaveh sat on the couch across from him. “He confirmed that you weren’t in the way that I was thinking.”
“Do you know who did it?” Kaveh prompted. Mutely, Alhaitham shook his head.
“I know it happened in the desert. I know that you’ve been getting numbing cream from Cyno and painkillers from Tighnari. Other than that…” Settling back in his seat, he watched Kaveh.
Mouth drawing into a thin line, Kaveh took a slow breath. “I…I can’t do this right now. I’m sorry. I need more time.”
“Take all the time you need, Kaveh.” Alhaitham replied. “Just…don’t leave. Please.”
Kaveh nodded once, then left.
It took another week for Kaveh to tell him.
Shortly after chasing Cyno and Tighnari off—and spending half of a TCG game cuddled up to Cyno, who was one of two people allowed to touch him—Kaveh reached out with his gloved hands and took Alhaitham’s hands in his. Then, he dragged him into his bedroom. Shaking, he sat down. His eyes met Alhaitham’s.
“I…don’t treat me like I’m fragile. Please.” Kaveh whispered, shuffling across the bed and kicking off his shoes as he went. Watching him, Alhaitham nodded. “I need you to say it.”
“I’ll try my best. That’s all I can offer to you.” Alhaitham explained.
Apparently, that was enough.
Slowly, with shaking fingers, Kaveh reached up and unhooked one of the bindings on his sleeves. Slowly, carefully, he lifted the fabric from his skin. Alhaitham stared at him.
When he had pulled only an inch of the sleeve down, Alhaitham could see scars. Thick, brutal, red scars. They continued as Kaveh slowly pulled off one sleeve after the other. Apparently, his gloves were sewn into the sleeves. The shaking overtook his entire body. His breath stuttered. From what little Alhaitham could see of his face, Kaveh was fighting tears.
His fingers looked wrecked. Some were crooked. Others had thin splints on them. As he undid the clasps to his side, Alhaitham frowned. The clasps mean someone has to get close to him to take it off. And I…can he even take it off normally? Heart dropping, he glanced at Kaveh’s face. A shaky breath left the man. Covering Kaveh’s ribs, his sides, his chest, there were thick swathes of bandages. Bruises marked his skin like a mosaic, dark blue and black and purple. They weren’t even browning. How are they there? Bruises only last two weeks, usually. Those look like they’re only days old.
And then Kaveh glanced at him, his face twisted, and he turned so Alhaitham could see his back, pulling his hair away from his neck.
If Kaveh’s arms, chest, and stomach were bad, his back was worse. Everywhere that Kaveh’s shirt would normally bare was ripped to shreds. Whip marks crisscrossed his skin. Some were stitched up. Some only had tiny little butterfly clips on them. The scabs that were there must have cracked almost every time he moved. Reaching out, Alhaitham hesitated before touching Kaveh’s back. His breath shuddered anyways, like he could feel Alhaitham’s fingers inches away from his skin.
“Just touch. Please.” Kaveh choked out. “It’s easier.”
Shaking, Alhaitham rested his fingers on Kaveh’s skin. With a flinch, he stiffened up. “What happened?” It was a dumb question. Shaking his head, Alhaitham said, “Never mind that. Do—is—can—”
He cut off. “Just ask. It’s okay.” Kaveh replied.
“Who did this?” Alhaitham asked dumbly. Face scrunching up, Kaveh turned away.
“Who else, Alhaitham?”
The realization struck like lightning.
“Azar.”
Both of them were quiet for a beat. Then, reaching over with a wince, Kaveh grabbed some of the numbing cream from his bedside table. He passed it to Alhaitham, dropping his hands back to his lap. “Cyno and Collei understand what it’s like to—to be hurt like this. Tighnari understands what it’s like to have new scars. It’s the only reason that they can touch me, and even then…Tighnari’s the only one who’s seen the scars.”
“Are you sure?” Alhaitham prompted. There was a nod. Rolling the bottle in his hands until it was warmed properly, he warned, “It might be a little cold. Let me know if it hurts, though. Only on the bruises?”
“Anywhere that isn’t stitched up or bandaged. Please.” Kaveh replied.
Nodding, Alhaitham gently smoothed some cream over his shoulder. He moved on to other sections of Kaveh’s skin, massaging it in with gentle, delicate fingers. The whole time he worked, Kaveh kept flinching and shuddering. His hands were curled on his knees, nails biting into his palms.
Eventually, he hummed, “I’m not very good at this, Kaveh. Are you sure that you don’t want me to call—”
“I couldn’t.” Kaveh murmured. “I couldn’t handle someone else. I can barely handle it when it’s you. And that’s not—it’s not a knock on your character, it’s just—I’m sorry, I just—”
“It’s okay. It’s fine.” Alhaitham murmured, gently massaging the numbing cream into Kaveh’s right shoulder, right above a vicious-looking scar. With every brush of his fingers against one of the raised scars, he winced. So did Kaveh, though not as often. He just seemed…quiet. “I’m sorry that this happened to you.”
“You didn’t know. You couldn’t have known.” Kaveh murmured, pulling his hair out of the way again. Staring at the floor, he added, “I don’t think any of us would have realized the lengths he would go to. Or how…violent he could get.”
Gently, Alhaitham brushed his fingers over the scabs without thinking. Flinching away, Kaveh glanced back at him. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” He sighed. “Why are they still here? It’s been at least two weeks.”
“Poison.” Kaveh murmured. “They didn’t feed me very often, either. It’s why my spine looks so obvious. And part of why I changed shirts. The other one exposed too much and was...it was so cold when I got back. They kept me in the desert, so…”
Alhaitham continued to smooth the cream over Kaveh’s skin.
Eventually, he murmured to Kaveh to turn around, exposing the bruising on his chest and ribs. He treated it the same way. Like Kaveh had mentioned, he could still see the effects of a lack of food. But this didn’t seem— “How long did they have you?”
“Two weeks. Managed to escape. Spent three days wandering around searching for somewhere to get help. Found Gandharva, terrified Tighnari—” Shaking his head, Kaveh murmured, “I feel so bad, looking back. He was still recovering from the lightning strike, and I—”
Alhaitham reached out and touched Kaveh’s chin, tilting his face up. Blinking, Kaveh stared at him. “Tighnari helped you willingly. You trusted him. He trusts you as well, and I don’t think he would have it any other way.” Exhaling, Kaveh settled a bit. His eyes closed, and he leaned into Alhaitham’s touch. “Is this—okay?”
Looking at him, Kaveh smiled softly, “It is. Will you…stay with me, tonight?” Gently, Alhaitham brushed a few strands of hair from his face.
“Of course, Kaveh.”