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Skywalker turns to look out the window, a solemn, solitary tear rolling down his cheek as he takes in the sight of the vast, uncaring city-planet of Coruscant. The light of the fading sun glints off the teardrop, highlighting the others that are clinging to his lashes and threatening to spill. His features are set in a fierce scowl, heavy brow pushed forward by his displeasure—his agony, his pain. His arms are crossed over his chest, his eyes staring out sightless and lost amongst the stars. He looks somehow every inch the war general he has been asked to become and every inch the twenty-one year old boy he is.
Meanwhile, It takes every inch of self-discipline that Sidious possesses not to let out a groan at the sight.
Instead, he takes a well-timed sip of his cup of tea and sits back into his chair, mentally making a note to himself to stop scheduling diplomatic meetings directly after he schedules early dinners with Skywalker. The boy has no respect for another’s schedule, doesn’t seem to realize that the man he thinks of as a grandfatherly mentor figure is also the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic and does not have the time to listen—for two hours—to his adolescent woes.
“I just,” Skywalker says. “I thought she was the one, you know?”
“Mm,” Sidious replies. “That sounds incredibly distressing, my boy. I was under the impression that you and—”
He takes another sip of his tea when he comes to the realization that he can’t quite remember the name of Skywalker’s latest One.
Of course, first there had been the senator Amidala, a thorn in Sidious’ side that he had hoped to tame into submission by fanning the flames of forbidden, illicit love between her and Skywalker. When that had crumbled apart after a few months of wartime romance, Skywalker had been inconsolable. Teary-eyed and closer to the Dark Side than Sidious had ever seen him. He had vacillated between fury at Amidala for breaking his heart and weepy agony over the end of their love.
It had been, all things considered, perhaps one of the most trying weeks of Sidious’ life.
Then, a few days after a red-eyed Skywalker had left his office, he had returned once more wearing a completely different countenance, hair unkempt, bruises on his neck, eyes glowing with happiness. That had been Rivi’s doing. Skywalker had met her…somewhere. Podracing perhaps. He’d fallen in love. She was the one.
Then after Rivi, there was….Ayu. Then Kattya. Then…Benedick, though he had hardly lasted longer than a day. Then Piya, then Kaleb, then. Then. Then.
If a Force user could fall to the Dark Side more than once, Sidious would have done so ten times over by now.
“I was too!” Skywalker says, standing so suddenly from his chair that he knocks it backwards and onto the floor. Sidious closes his eyes. He rarely asks the Force for anything these days, but he finds himself now praying to It for patience.
Skywalker does not notice. “I really thought Venasse loved me! She told me she did! I mean, she looked at me like she did! Or, I mean, she definitely touched m—” suddenly Skywalker trails off and shoots a sheepish look towards Sidious, apparently remembering who exactly he’s talking to.
It’s comforting to know the boy possesses at least a modicum of shame. Not for the first time, Sidious marvels at the wonder that is Kenobi training Skywalker for ten years without falling to the Dark Side himself.
Skywalker stoops down and rights the toppled chair, though he doesn’t reclaim his seat, moving instead to look out the windows once more. “Maybe I’m not meant to be in love,” the brat says, crossing his arms over his chest as he watches the early evening Coruscanti traffic fly by. “Obi-Wan has noticed that I seem distracted, and my new padawan is going to catch on sooner or later. Maybe it’s a good thing Venasse turned out to be a lying cheat of a bitch. Maybe—maybe I’m not meant to be in love at all. Ever.”
Sidious bites his tongue. It would be beyond foolish to point out that yes, according to the Jedi Code he claims to live by and has sworn to uphold, Skywalker isn’t supposed to pursue romantic relationships.
But then…
“My boy, sit,” he says, waving a hand to the chair in front of him. “Stop this nonsense, you sound like your Jedi Council.”
“That’s not a bad thing,” Skywalker says immediately, defensively, presumably just to be contrary as Sidious knows how lowly Skywalker thinks of his Jedi Council on any given day. Though, if Sidious remembers correctly, it has only been a few months since Kenobi was voted onto that same Council. Of course Skywalker's personal loyalty to his former Jedi Master would outweigh his own--carefully cultivated by Sidious--misgivings about the Jedi.
"Of course not," Sidious lies quickly. "But you are cut from a different cloth than the Jedi Council, you have always know that. The amount of love you have in your heart to give is nothing to feel ashamed about, and it pains me to hear that you have started to question it. Perhaps Vanessa--"
"Venasse."
"Venasse was not the right person, but she--"
"Or he."
"Or he is out there, my boy."
In the back of Sidious' mind, there is a very, very long list of missteps and past actions that he will one day torture this brat for when his plans have come to fruition and he is emperor of the galaxy, Skywalker a pawn and attack dog beneath his thumb. He adds this conversation to that list and allows himself to daydream for a moment about how good it will feel to send bolts of Force lightning through Skywalker's body.
"I never want to hear her name again," Skywalker decides suddenly, turning from the window to glare at Sidious as if it is his fault that Skywalker is so terrible at relationships that they dissolve and fall to pieces in his hands. "She's a liar and--and a temptress and I wish I never met her. She's dead to me."
And this, this is the moment that Sidious sits through these conversations for. This is the moment that makes them almost, almost worth the pain and headaches that they cause him. Skywalker, framed by the dying sun, Force signature riddled with patches of darkness, so close to tipping over into the Dark side completely that it makes Sidious hold his breath. There is so much anger and pain in his Force presence, in his mind, and Skywalker has never learned how to give that to the Force. Oh, Sidious is sure that Kenobi has tried to teach him a thousand times, but Skywalker clings. It is his nature to hold tightly to anything he deems as his, even his worst, most thorny emotions.
Yes, Sidious wants to croon. Lean into that hatred. Nurse the pain you feel at the hands of that girl. Allow it to consume you.
Because if Sidious has learned one thing since forcing himself into the role of Anakin Skywalker's confidante, it is that the boy experiences every emotion the way one experiences a hurricane. When he is in love, his entire world view shifts. His love expands to fill up his mind. Every injustice seen or annoyance felt slips off his shoulders without making an impact. His love smooths out every wrinkle, every flaw of the object of his affections until she--yes, or he--is perfect. Is beyond repute. And then, inevitably, when they shy away from the force of Anakin's attentions, his belligerent affections, his overwhelming love...when they break his heart, his hurt and pain rush up and black out even the slimmest memory of his happiness. Briefly, he is consumed by his heartbreak. And then, in those moments, he is so close to falling to the Dark Side that Sidious finds himself waiting with baited breath, thinking that perhaps this will be the time.
This will be the heartbreak that delivers him his long-awaited apprentice.
They're interrupted by a tentative knock on the door. Frena, his secretary, pokes her head in a moment later. "Apologies, sir," she says, looking between the Chancellor and the Jedi General of the 501st. "Only, your appointment with the delegation from the Evachar sector is in five minutes and you'll be late if you don't leave now."
Sidious closes his eyes for a moment. He can feel Skywalker's anger abating, washing away like the tides, as he seems to remember where he is and who he is talking to. As he seems to remember that, yes, the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic may have other things to do than act as therapist and confessional to a troubled child.
Sheepish shame flows into Skywalker's Force signature, replacing the pain. "Oh, of course," he says. "I apologize, sir. We've gone past the end of our appointment."
They've gone an entire hour past the end of their appointment, Sidious does not point out. Instead, he takes a deep breath through his nose and reminds himself that this time with Skywalker is important to secure his trust and loyalty. He needs to be the one person Skywalker feels as if he can tell everything to.
Even if Sidious would rather throw himself off his private balcony than have to sit through Skywalker's everything ever again.
"Not to worry, my boy, not to worry at all," he tells him. "You are incredibly dear to me, you know that."
Frena coughs in the background, an automatic sound that serves to convey her absolute disgust at the words. Sidious will have her killed, he thinks, the moment he becomes emperor. Good help is incredibly hard to find, but that does not mean he should settle for anything less.
"Please, work with my secretary to find a time for a lunch appointment before you embark on your next mission," Sidious says, gesturing towards Frena loosely. The girl colors slightly when Skywalker's eyes land on her, her faint Force signature flushing with embarrassed delight at his sudden attention.
"Yes, of course," Skywalker says. He does not look back at Sidious, apparently too focused on the girl. The grandfatherly smile on Sidious' face is starting to hurt his cheeks. "What was your name?" Skywalker asks as he stalks away from Sidious' desk without so much as a by-your-leave. "I'm Anakin."
"Frena," his secretary says, and her blush grows darker. Sidious is going to be sick.
Thank the Force that Skywalker has the sense to close the door on his way out so that Sidious does not have to listen to any further overtures.
After all, after five years of this, he knows how this will go.
Skywalker is attracted to people who are attracted to him. Who admit it openly, who wear their attraction on their faces. He enjoys being needed, being wanted so much that the desire cannot be hidden away. It is one of the many reasons so many of his relationships end in his heartbreak. Need and want are not the same thing as love. Skywalker, young and traumatized by his years as a slave and then again by his years beneath Kenobi's thumb, cannot tell the difference between the two. To make matters worse, he has grown into an attractive man, one the Holonet sighs and pines for. One that turns heads and opens doors--and opens legs, for that matter.
So he gives his heart to the first person to look at him with need in their eyes, and of course they fall into bed with him. And perhaps they think they want more too, want a relationship with the Hero With No Fear, want Skywalker's love and power focused entirely on them. It certainly must be a heady feeling, or so many people would not have given in to Skywalker when he asked to see them again. Or, whatever he asks them to get them to come back. Or perhaps he's just rather good in bed.
It's not something Sidious likes to think about, all told.
At any rate, these relationships always follow the same course. They always fizzle out or end with a bang because no civilian can handle the full brunt of Skywalker's love and need focused entirely on them. It is too much. It is inevitable. Skywalker will mistake their lust for love and paint them golden in his mind and when he finds out that they are only human, fallible and driven by base desires instead of his lauded ideals, he will be heartbroken.
It's all very cyclical, and Sidious can navigate this path and play his role with his eyes closed at this point. He would wager his entire future empire on the fact that Skywalker is currently standing outside his office, flirting furiously with his blushing secretary.
And before Skywalker leaves for the warfront, he'll be in love once more.
Pity. He had not planned to kill her for several more years, but it seems her own actions necessitate moving his timeline forward. Sidious will suffer many indignities under the guise of acting as Skywalker's confidante, but he will not suffer through his secretary being in love with his future apprentice, even if only for a handful of days. Frankly, it's unprofessional.
But it is on the whole incredibly regrettable. Of course Venasse was not the girl to lead Anakin Skywalker into the Dark side. Frena will not be either, though Sidious can already envision how heartbroken Skywalker will be when she suddenly stops returning his comm calls and disappears off the face of Coruscant.
The attachments Skywalker feels to these girls, to the long line of sentients he's struck up relationships with in the past, they may feel real to him. Surely, his pain is real. His anger and fury are. His happiness during those days or months when he is carrying out the affair is real. But it fades too quickly.
As close to the Dark Side as Skywalker feels in the aftermath of his failed romance, when he is vowing to never think about or speak to the girl who broke his heart ever again, it pales in comparison to how he felt in the Force when Padmé Amidala broke his heart. In turn, that pales in comparison to how he felt when his mother died in his arms.
What Skywalker needs to fall to the Dark side is something more than trivial heartbreak.
What he needs is to lose one of his firmest connections to the Light and the Jedi, the tether that continues to rein him in and anchor him to the Light.
What he needs to fall is to lose Kenobi. But unlike all of Skywalker's past romantic relationships, Kenobi seems to be able to bear the brunt of Skywalker's need. He does not often turn Skywalker away, though he very rarely seems to give Skywalker the open affection that the boy craves. Sidious would feel grateful to Kenobi for this misstep, as it has allowed him to move closer to Skywalker over the years, if it weren't for the fact that Kenobi refuses to allow himself to be assassinated.
No matter how many Sith acolytes Sidious sends after the man, no matter how many no-win missions he presses the Jedi to give to Kenobi, no matter how many accidental natural disasters he pushes Kenobi into, the man does not die.
It's infuriating.
What is somehow even more infuriating is that Sidious will absolutely be late to his next meeting now, given that he will have to wait in his office for the two newly-in-love birds to finish "scheduling" outside before he can take his leave.
After all, he has poured far too much effort and time into shaping Skywalker as his apprentice at this point. It would be a shame to kill him now.
It would. It very much would be a shame, he reminds himself when he hears a high pitched giggle from outside his office followed by a much lower and softer laugh.
Yes, a satisfactory shame. But still a shame.
It takes thirty-two more hours for the realization to come to Sidious, and he blames Skywalker wholly for the delay. The boy's own stupidity and black-and-white view of the galaxy must be rubbing off on him, that's the only reason Sidious can think of for not having thinking of this sooner.
Kenobi.
And Skywalker.
The answer has been sitting right before him this entire time, but he had been too blinded by his own hatred of Kenobi to see it. And Skywalker's hero worship of the man hadn't helped, of course. The way Skywalker talked of his old Jedi master evoked images of untouchable saints, glowing angels, benevolent deities...the same way he talked of those sentients he fancied himself in love with at the height of his relationships with them. Gilded and perfect and infallible. It was the way Skywalker loved, to paint his paramours as idols placed upon a pedestal.
How had Sidious missed that Skywalker had already done the same thing with Kenobi? Years ago! For years, he has endured Skywalker's fanatical praise of his Jedi master. He has listened to him complain about the man, his fastidiousness, his devotion to the Jedi Order--but oh, those moments that Sidious had made the mistake of agreeing with Skywalker's own words! He has never felt closer to losing Skywalker's trust than those times he let a bad word about Kenobi slip past his lips, even though Skywalker himself had already said much more damning things.
And yet no matter the argument, no matter the disagreement between Kenobi and Skywalker, Skywalker's faith in his master did not waver. He never took his master down from that pedestal, no matter how many times Kenobi revealed himself to be just a man.
Sidious has spent years resenting that, resenting Skywalker's unshakeable devotion to his master. He has spent years trying to ingratiate himself to the boy, trying to replace Kenobi as the boy's mentor, his father. And every time he has failed because it seems that no matter how often Kenobi manages to break Skywalker's heart, Skywalker gives it to him again without hesitation.
But...but if Skywalker were to see Kenobi through the lens of a man in love, if they were to fall into bed together and strike up a romance, then surely...surely Kenobi would flinch at the force of Skywalker's naked devotion.
It is, after all, the antithesis of all things Jedi. A Jedi master such as Kenobi would not stand for it. He would not be able to swallow it. He may take Skywalker into his bed, but he would not be able to return Skywalker's love and this would be a heartbreak that Skywalker could never forgive him for. No doubt he would see it as Kenobi choosing the Jedi over him, which would be a betrayal so serious that Kenobi would be knocked from his pedestal. All of Skywalker's loyalty would shatter in the face of Kenobi choosing anything over his love.
Sidious rises from his bed and begins to pace.
This would be the perfect scenario.
Kenobi flinches away from Skywalker's love, his obsession, and he cites the Jedi code as his reason. No better or more deadly of a wedge could be driven between Skywalker and the Jedi, and Sidious has spent the last ten years trying to find such a thing. Skywalker would lose his attachment to Kenobi and the Jedi in one fell swoop. And he would of course run to Sidious to mourn and grieve his lost love, the way he has countless times in the past.
That loss would make him fall. Sidious has always known that Kenobi is Skywalker's firmest anchor to the Light. But he has always thought that Kenobi must die in order for Skywalker to lose that connection.
The answer has been staring him in the face for far too long that it's almost embarrassing to be confronted by it. To finally realize.
But--how can Sidious be sure that Kenobi would take Skywalker into his bed at all? After all, Skywalker is his former apprentice, and Kenobi does not seem like the type of man to forget that in favor of how handsome the boy has grown to be.
But this is Skywalker. This is Kenobi. Has Kenobi really ever refrained from giving Skywalker what he wants? He has hesitated, he has protested--and Sidious has heard about his hesitations and his protests--but he has always given in. He has a soft spot for the boy, even Sidious can see it. If Skywalker were to ask for him, Kenobi may hesitate and he may protest, but he would give in eventually. Surely.
And if he did not? That would not be so terrible, Sidious supposes. After all, he has never guided Anakin through the throes of unrequited love, but he is certain that the boy would feel that to be as ruinous as a failed relationship. Especially if the object of his desire is Kenobi. Especially if Kenobi turned him away. Perhaps that would be enough for his connection to the Light to waver.
Yes, if he came to Sidious after that rejection, Sidious could use it stoke his anger and betrayal with the Jedi. It would deal him a critical blow, Sidious would make sure of it.
The only question is how to make Skywalker realize the depths of his regard for Kenobi. After all, if it has taken years for Sidious to see it, it will take Skywalker years more. Decades perhaps. He certainly has never said anything about Kenobi that makes Sidious think he sees him in a romantic light. It is simply the way he talks about him, the way he cannot seem to stop talking about him. The way that his regard for Kenobi shares several key indicators with the way he shows regard for his paramours.
The boy could so easily be head over heels in love with Kenobi if just one person pointed it out to him. If Kenobi gave the slightest hint of being open to the possibility.
Sidious taps a finger against his chin as he climbs back into his bed. He must tread carefully if he chooses to navigate this path. Skywalker has proven to be contrary, defensive, and downright unreasonable when it comes to his old Jedi master. If he is to be convinced to fall in love with Kenobi and admit it to himself, then Sidious must move slowly, cautiously. This could so easily blow up in his face.
But it would be so sweet to see the plan unfold, to see Skywalker's reverence of Kenobi turn to ash in his hands. Perhaps when Skywalker becomes his apprentice, he will even allow him to torture Kenobi. Yes, Sidious has survived several thousand conversations with Skywalker about that old man by spending half his time thinking about the moment he will be able kill him. But he would not complain if Skywalker were to do the killing. It would be rather fitting.
The thought lulls him to sleep, and when he wakes in the morning, he knows exactly how he will proceed.
"Ah, Frena, thank you," Sidious tells the secretary as she deposits a cup of tea on his desk. "Please, if you have a moment to talk." He gestures at the chair opposite his desk, and Frena sits obediently. He is, after all, the Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Republic--and also her employer.
"Talk, sir?" she asks. Her hands have fallen into her lap, twisting the fabric of her tunic as her nerves grow. "About...my job performance?"
"No, no," Sidious says quickly, waving his hand through the air. They would not have enough time before his next appointment to discuss her poor job performance. They would not have enough time even if he reserved a whole day in his calendar for it. "About Anakin."
Frena stills. "Anakin, sir?" She squints at him, as if she is trying to sniff out suspicious motive.
"Yes, Anakin. And your...relationship with him."
Now a flush begins to work steadily over her cheeks as her eyes fall away. "I'm not sure that's any of your--"
"I only wish to look out for the both of you," he says, forcing his voice to sound comforting, caring, kind. "Your relationship concerns me, my dear."
Frena's eyebrows furrow. "I don't..." she trails off, clearly warring with her desire to learn about why the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic would be concerned with her relationship and her innate desire to not talk about that relationship with her employer. "Why?"
"Surely you have heard the rumors about Anakin and his former Jedi master?" he asks leadingly. "About their...closeness."
"Master Kenobi?" Frena says. "I...yes, but those are just rumors, sir, they're not..." her cheeks warm under his gaze. "I mean, Master Kenobi and Anakin are not..."
"My dear," Sidious says, reaching out and touching her hand gently. "Do you truly believe that?"
"But Anakin has said he...that he loves me," Frena murmurs with a shake of her head. "He wouldn't lie, not about that!"
Sidious barely resists the urge to roll his eyes. If his spies are to be believed, Anakin Skywalker and his secretary have been on five romantic excursions since meeting in his office a week and a half ago. Five, and Anakin has seen it fit to confess his love?
"I know you have been seeing each other lately," he says carefully, letting her go to take a sip of his tea. She has made it wrong once again. It takes all of his self-discipline not to spit it back into his cup. "And normally, I would support any sort of romantic endeavor my staff choose to undertake, but I am worried that Anakin Skywalker is not as...emotionally available as he has led you to believe. We are rather close, you know."
Frena looks torn, bottom lip wedged between her teeth as her eyes flick around the office. "No," she finally says. "No, see, he loves me, he said--"
"How often has he mentioned Master Kenobi to you?" he murmurs, as if the words are slightly painful for him to say. As if he wishes he did not have to say them at all. "When you talk over dinner, during nights out at the opera or around Coruscant. Does it feel as if there is a third person accompanying you, even when it is just you and Knight Skywalker?"
Frena's eyes drop to her lap. The Force around her wavers and buckles. "They're just rumors," she whispers. "He is close with his Jedi master, but surely it is a closeness normal for Jedi...."
"Frena, my dear," Sidious says in his most soothing voice. "Search your heart, you know my words to be true. You know that there this is something more between Kenobi and Skywalker. Something so unignorable that the entire Holonet has picked up on it."
"Why are you telling me this?" The words burst out of her as if she does not mean to say them, but when she raises her eyes to glare at them, they're wet with unshed tears. "You're the Chancellor of the Republic, you must have more important things to be focused on!"
He's the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic actually, but he holds his tongue so as to not correct her. Instead, he takes another sip of the galaxy's worst cup of tea. "You deserve to be more than just a distraction to someone," he murmurs, and this is important enough for her to remember and to believe that he threads a Force suggestion through his words.
"I...deserve to be more than just a distraction," she repeats, unable to resist the pull of the Force.
"If General Skywalker comm calls again, you should not pick up," Sidious encourages, adding more power behind the words.
Frena's eyes are dazed, her tone softer than it has been yet. "I should not pick up," she repeats.
"This conversation is better to have in person," he tells her. "Next time he stops by to see me."
"Next time..." Frena says, and Sidious leans back in his chair triumphantly.
"Off you go," he tells her, pushing the cup of tea and its saucer towards her. "Be a dear and take this with you as well. Thank you."
Skywalker is furious as he paces around Sidious' office, and it is a sight to behold. In all the years that Sidious has been tortured by this aspect of being Skywalker's confidante, he has never seen him dry-eyed and angry immediately after his lover breaks off their affair. Yet here is he now, so angry that he cannot even be upset that Frena has ended their relationship.
"Obi-Wan!" Skywalker yells. It is not the first time he has said the man's name. In fact, he has said little else since entering the room. It's as if he is screaming it to the Force. "Obi-Wan?"
Sidious laces his fingers together. "Am I correct in understanding that our Frena has...ended your relationship so that she may pursue your Jedi master? My dear boy, the betrayal you must be feeling right now, I cannot comprehend it--"
"What?" Skywalker turns around, pausing with one hand halfway through raking his hair back. "No, don't be ridiculous, Chancellor."
Sidious takes a sip of his tea in an effort to distract himself from his desire to tear Skywalker limb from limb. Ridiculous. The stupidest boy in the galaxy has the nerve to call him, Darth Sidious, ridiculous.
"She dumped me because she thought me and Obi-Wan were sleeping together!" Anakin says, the words falling from his mouth in a waterfall of noise. Sidious makes sure to look appropriately surprised.
"Truly?" he says. "But she must know that Master Kenobi would never do such a thing. The abuse of power alone that that would entail...."
"What? No. It wouldn't be an abuse of power," Skywalker disagrees, rather defensively. "I mean, I'm not his padawan anymore. I'm his equal. We're...equal. Obi-Wan just doesn't do that. He doesn't--he isn't one to have relationships, he's different than I am. He would never sleep with anyone."
Sidious weighs his words carefully. "But, Anakin," he says very cautiously. "You have to have heard the rumors by now. About...your master."
Very suddenly, he is treated to the full intensity of Anakin Skywalker's attention. "The rumors? About us? They're banthashit, you know tha--"
"The rumors about your master's relationship with a certain...senator from Alderaan," Sidious says, cutting smoothly through Skywalker's words. "How...untoward the pair of them are with each other."
Skywalker scowls automatically. "Organa's married."
"The queen of Alderaan has been rumored to...lend out her husband in the past," Sidious points out, thanking the Force that the rumor mill on Coruscant is so varied and all-encompassing that he is not even lying. If Skywalker were to check on any of these allegations, he would find some person convinced of their validity. Not that Skywalker would think to check.
"That's bantha shit," Skywalker says immediately, but there's a new sort of fury lurking in his Force presence. "Obi-Wan would never. He hardly ever sees Organa anyway, if he were gonna have an affair with anyone, it would be me. I mean, we see each other all the time."
Sidious purses his lips and for the first time feels quite...unsure as to how to proceed. Does he point out Skywalker's own hypocrisy? Does he ask him to repeat what he's just said very slowly? He settles for affecting an expression of indulgence. "Perhaps that explains young Frena's confusion on the matter," he says leadingly. "Would you not think?"
But of course, Skywalker doesn't think. He resumes pacing, Force signature a messy tangle of fury and irritation around him. "It would honestly be an abuse of power if he was sleeping with Organa, you know? Organa's a politician, he helps decide troop movements. Obi-Wan could get into a bunch of trouble if it came out they were kriffing each other. The only thing worse would be if he was sleeping with one of his men." The words, even though Skywalker is the only one who has said them, only serve to darken his countenance. "Which he would never do," he adds, crossing his arms and stomping over to glare out the window. The Jedi Temple remains tall and immovable in the distance.
Sidious counts to five and then lets out a quiet breath. "Perhaps that explains young Frena's confusion on the matter," he makes himself say again, and this time something about the words penetrate Skywalker's thick skull.
"Who?"
Skywalker would look quite nice writhing in pain on the floor of his office, Sidious decides. He takes another deep and calming breath. Not yet. Not yet. Soon. But not yet.
"Frena," he repeats. "Your erstwhile romance. Oh, my boy, I do hate to see you so upset. Perhaps if you were to explain the situation to her, the bond that exists between men at war--"
"Obi-Wan knows a lot of men at war," Skywalker interrupts, glaring back out the window. "His bond with me is different."
"Alright," Sidious allows because he cannot call upon the Force to strike down Skywalker with Force energy just yet. "But I do believe the problem lies with young Frena believing that the bond between you and your master is carnal. If you were to talk with her on the matter--"
"I have nothing to say to that bitch," Skywalker bites out, rounding on Sidious as if this whole situation is his fault. Which, to be fair--it is. "Not after what she said about Obi-Wan! She called him awful, bantha-shit things, I don't know what I ever saw in her!" He narrows his eyes. "Honestly, Chancellor, I would never presume to tell you how to run your office, but you should really look into hiring better staff. She's horrible at her job. Unprofessional."
Sidious refrains from reminding Skywalker that he did not find her so repellant when he was shoving his tongue down her throat a few nights ago. Nothing good lies down that path. "Noted," he says, before making a show of checking his calendar. "Oh, Anakin, my dear boy! In all of this melodrama, I almost forgot to tell you. I can no longer make it to the opera house tonight for our showing--a diplomatic meeting has been scheduled instead, and it is one I do not dare miss."
"Oh," Skywalker says. He does not sound nearly as put-out as politeness demands. "Alright. That's fine."
"I would hate to see these tickets go to waste," Sidious says slowly.
But Skywalker waves his words off. "I couldn't possibly go by myself, Chancellor," he says. "I don't have as much of an appreciation for the arts as you do."
"Perhaps you could use my ticket and invite along a friend," Sidious says even more slowly.
Skywalker blinks. "Uh," he says, and he rubs at the back of his neck. "Usually I would take you up on that, Chancellor, but I don't really--I mean, I just broke up with Freya--"
"Frena."
"Yeah, and I'm not seeing anyone at the moment."
Sidious carefully takes his bubbling irritation and tucks it away into the back of his mind. "Perhaps you could take Kenobi."
A dusty pink blush spreads across Skywalker's cheeks. "Obi-Wan?"
"Unless he has a brother," Sidious snaps before he can bite his tongue. Thankfully, Skywalker seems too lost in his own mind to register either the change in his tone or his words. "I have heard that your master appreciates an operatic performance. And it would be rather nice, wouldn't it? To give him a break from the war. I'm sure he has been overrun with stress lately. I hear he was solely responsible for breaking the siege of Buceva?"
And what a nasty piece of news that had been to receive, that once more Kenobi had laid waste to a month's worth of planning--and came out of the whole thing without so much as a hair out of place.
"I guess," Skywalker says slowly. The blush across his cheeks has yet to go away. "But it wouldn't be romantic or anything," he adds quickly. "It would just be...two generals, at the opera house. Listening to the opera music. Appreciating the arts. Nothing--untoward. Or romantic. Strictly, um. About opera music."
"It did not occur to me to think otherwise," Sidious says blithely. And then, "oh, are you concerned because of what Frena has accused you both of? I didn't even realize! Oh, I am sorry, my dear boy. Of course you should not take Master Kenobi, it would send the wrong image, wouldn't it?"
"What? No," Skywalker suddenly looks angry as he frowns across the desk at Sidious. "No, I'll take Obi-Wan. I don't care what Freya thinks, I know it's not true. I wouldn't ever--I mean, Obi-Wan was my mas--and not to mention, he wouldn't ever, no matter what the Holonet thinks he gets up to with karking Organa."
Sidious blinks, waiting a moment in case Skywalker plans to continue his apparent desire to string half-vocalized words together in a nonsensical order. "Alright then," he says, when Skywalker falls silent. "I hope you enjoy your evening out at the opera with your master, Anakin. Perhaps you would like to meet me for tea tomorrow? I would love to hear all about the...performances."
The Anakin Skywalker that stumbles into his office the next morning, ten minutes late to their appointment for tea, is not a version of him that Sidious has ever had the displeasure of meeting before. Every aspect of his appearance lets the viewer know that he has recently...engaged in coitus. His hair is a mess, there are bruises down his neck, and his chin and skin around his mouth are all too pink. As if someone with facial hair has been rubbing their face against Skywalker's. His clothes are disheveled, tied together loosely, leaving far too big of a gap around his chest.
Oh, Sidious has had the displeasure of seeing Skywalker after the boy has slept with one of his paramours far too many times to count. But he has never seen him look so despondent at the same time.
The boy slumps into his seat as if his strings have been cut. He barely apologizes for his tardiness, instead picking up a cup and dumping scalding hot water into it. When the water splashes up and over the rim, he doesn't even flinch as it hits his hand.
"Ah, my dear boy," Sidious begins to say.
"I don't want to talk about it," Skywalker says.
Sidious hums. Unfortunately for the both of them, Skywalker's Force signature is not nearly dark enough that they wouldn't have to talk about it. More's the pity. Instead of angry or in pain, Skywalker mostly just seems sad.
Few Force users have actually Fallen to the Dark Side because they're feeling blue.
"I take it..." Sidious trails off. To say the words aloud--to admit that the fact that Skywalker has slept with Kenobi is frankly excruciatingly obvious--feels simply excruciating. For Sidious. "That the opera performance was...electrifying."
"What?" Skywalker says. He slumps further back into his chair, eyes staring into the depths of his cup of tea. "I don't know. Sure. I guess."
"Did you...watch the opera?" Sidious forces himself to ask.
Skywalker's gaze cuts guiltily to the side. "We...got distracted," he finally admits begrudgingly. As if he has any right to be begrudging at all. As if Sidious is not pulling out his own teeth in an attempt to carry this conversation.
"Oh?" Sidious says. Any further words would, of course, scorch his throat to say. Why couldn't Senator Amidala have stayed with Skywalker? Oh, it would have been so much easier if Amidala were Skywalker's paramour! Never before has he hated Kenobi so stridently. "Did you even go to the opera?" He asks, tacking on a 'my dear boy' when the words come out sounding too acerbic.
Thankfully, Skywalker is too trapped inside his own head to notice.
Once again.
"Yeah!" Skywalker protests. He sounds like a sulking child.
Perhaps Tyranus does have the makings to be his sith apprentice.
Perhaps Maul would be a better option. Yes, the zabrak is as obsessed with Kenobi as Skywalker is, but he at least hates the Jedi master, Sidious is at least seventy-five percent sure he hates him.
Which is good, because Sidious is suddenly and completely not sure how he is supposed to handle a sith apprentice who is in love with Kenobi.
"We just...left...early," Skywalker says after several seconds tick by in silence. "Because...he, uh. We. We kissed."
Frankly, Sidious feels almost offended on Kenobi's behalf that all the Jedi master's obvious hard work last night has been whittled down to we kissed. "It seems to me you did more than that," he points out before he can hold his tongue.
Skywalker flushes immediately, a dark red blooming across his cheeks. "It doesn't matter," he says in a tone of voice that assures Sidious that it matters quite a bit. "He doesn't...it didn't mean anything to him."
Sidious forces his lips down into a frown even as elation spreads through his body. "Oh?"
"I told him...that I loved him," Skywalker admits, using the back of his hand to swipe at his suddenly watery eyes. "This morning. After. I thought--if we...if we did what we did last night, together, then he has to love me too, so I told him I loved him, and he...."
"Yes?" Sidious prompts, sounding perhaps a touch too eager. But how can he temper himself now? This is everything he has ever wanted. This is the beginning of the end. Kenobi is teetering on his pedestal, and Skywalker's own inability to distinguish between love and lust will be the thing that knocks him off of it.
And then Skywalker will be Sidious'.
"He didn't say anything," Skywalker says, and his tone is one of absolute heartbreak. "He didn't say it back!"
"Oh, my dear boy," Sidious says, reaching out a hand to rest on Skywalker's curled fist. The sadness in his Force signature is sweet, but ultimately useless. Sidious needs anger. Sidious needs Skywalker to be so furious at Kenobi that he will turn his back on everything the man represents for him. The Jedi. The Light.
Oh, you must feel taken advantage of, he thinks of saying. Your old master has lured you into his bed and taken advantage of you. He raised you, don't you remember? He never should have touched you.
Surely Skywalker's sadness will subside into fury if he is retold last night's events in a way that leaves no blame to fall upon him. He will nod along, at first slowly and then rather quickly as he reviews his night with Kenobi. If Sidious is careful enough, kind enough, then Skywalker's memory will be easily remolded to suit his purposes.
But before he can open his mouth, before he can insinuate that Kenobi has taken advantage of his former padawan, there is a knock on the door.
And before Sidious can say anything, Frena pokes her head into the room. She has a sneer painted across her face as she regards first Skywalker and then her employer. "Sorry to interrupt," she says, not sounding very sorry at all. "Chancellor, sir, you have a guest."
Sidious surreptitiously checks his calendar. He still has forty-eight minutes left in his appointment with Skywalker. "Tell them that I am in another meeting," he tells her testily. He really should kill her, now that Skywalker is no longer interested and she has served her purpose on the Kenobi front.
"It's Jedi Master Kenobi," Frena says, and her sneer grows worse when Skywalker leaps to his feet, tea sloshing out of his cup in his haste.
"No!" Skywalker says, but Sidious' secretary seems wholly unwilling to listen to what Skywalker wants. Her ruthlessness is rather impressive, if Sidious is being honest. She steps neatly aside at the first hint of Skywalker's distress, and then Kenobi is there in Sidious' office, Force signature so blindingly light that Sidious has to carefully look away so as to not be stunned by it.
How unfortunate.
Yes, Sidious had hoped that Kenobi and Skywalker together would lead to Skywalker's heartbreak and eventual fall to the Dark side, but he had not really anticipated ever having to see Kenobi in the flesh. Mostly, he had envisioned forcing himself to pick up the pieces of Skywalker's shattered heart, all the while carefully poisoning him against the Light.
Never did he realize he may have to sit through Kenobi and Skywalker, together. As a pair. In the same room.
The idea of it is untenable. The reality is so much worse.
At the very sight of Kenobi, the cloud of Skywalker's Force signature reaches out to him like an untrained puppy. And rather than swatting it away as any respectable Jedi might, Kenobi's own signature leaps to wind around Skywalker's.
The palpable and shameful attachment immediately lessens Skywalker's melancholy, though he still seems hesitant to even approach his master.
Sidious weighs his options quickly before standing. "Master Kenobi," he says, voice infused with the tone he uses to command about senators and aides and paltry civilians. "I demand that you leav--"
"You can't just leave, Anakin," Kenobi says, sounding exasperated and tragic and hurt and vulnerable all in one.
"Like hell I can't!" Skywalker shoots back instantly, crossing his arms as if in defense of his body. "I know when I'm not wanted!"
"I will see a full committee brought together to hear about this abuse," Sidious says, but it is like he has turned invisible.
"Of course you're wanted!" Kenobi shouts, striding forward until he is in Sidious' office proper. "That's the problem!"
"Oh, I'm sorry I'm such a problem for you!" Skywalker replies. His voice breaks halfway through. It is pathetic in the truest, most despicable sense of the word, yet Kenobi looks at him as if it is his heart that has broken.
"No, Anakin," Kenobi says, and his hand stretches out to Skywalker before dropping back to his side. "I fear that I am the problem. The way I feel about you, it is...a Jedi should not feel this way about anyone, least of all his former padawan."
Sidious steps around his desk. "Yes! You are his former Jedi master, and yet you have--"
"I told you I loved you," Skywalker says as if Sidious has not spoken at all. "And you said nothing! Am I good enough to fuck but not to love? Is that it? Is that what you think of me?"
"Anakin," Kenobi murmurs, as if Skywalker is breaking his heart. "I think the world of you, you have to know that."
"Then why can you kiss me at the opera and not look at me the next morning?" Skywalker challenges. If Sidious thought he could get away with it, he would use the Force to summon a flask of liquor to add to his tea.
"You cannot demand love from every person you sleep with!" Kenobi explodes, as if that is not the worst possible thing in the galaxy for him to say to his apprentice. It makes even Sidious marvel at the pair. The amount that they misunderstand each other...it is awe-inspiring to witness.
"I don't!" Skywalker screams, as if that is not a lie. "But I love you!"
"You are a child," Kenobi screams back, face flushed a blotchy and unattractive red. His hair is a mess, Sidious notices. His robes are as quickly fastened as Skywalker's. "You know nothing of love!"
Sidious draws in a breath. Is this the moment? The words are so harsh that even Kenobi takes a step back, startled by their intensity. Skywalker stands still, as if trying to force himself to understand that which he knows will cut him to the quick. "I believe you should leav--" Sidious begins to say again, but Kenobi rushes forward, halfway across the room to grab at Skywalker's shoulders.
"Believe me when I say that I know far more about your romantic history than I ever wanted to know," Kenobi says quickly and rather forcefully. "And believe me when I say that knowing has bruised my heart in ways that you cannot imagine. What do you know of the way I love? You, who falls in love with every person who looks at you twice. You, who has loved more people in your twenty-one years than I have in my entire life. What do you know of love, Anakin? Your sort of love is not the sort I can understand."
Skywalker ducks his head, and Sidious can see his throat bob with his effort to swallow and then speak. "You don't love me," Skywalker mutters, voice quiet and broken into rubble. "You didn't--I told you, and you didn't...."
"You have loved more people in the last four years than I have loved in thirty," Kenobi replies, and he tilts Skywalker's chin up with one hand, allowing the other to travel down his arm to encircle his wrist. "Do you know how many I have loved?"
Skywalker shakes his head, lips twitching down into a pout that seems to be trying to pretend to be a scowl.
"One."
"Organa?" Now Skywalker really is scowling, a sullen edge to his glare as he stares down at Kenobi's face.
Kenobi, fool that he is, accidentally laughs as if the question is incredibly comical. It makes Skywalker pull back automatically, lips pulling up into a sneer. "No," Kenobi says quickly, tightening his hold on his padawan. "You foolish boy. You."
Skywalker blinks and then blinks again. "But you--you didn't say anything."
"Anakin," Kenobi admonishes, his voice so achingly gentle that Sidious feels sick to his stomach. "Come now, you don't--you have to admit that your ability to fall in love far outpaces my own."
"I don't understand," Skywalker says, but his voice is...different. As if hearing that Kenobi holds some measure of regard for him has already begun to set him to rights.
"What would you say," Kenobi asks gently, hand moving from Skywalker's chin to cup his cheek, "if the man you have spent more than four years loving confesses that he loves you...but you know that he gives his love freely to anyone he sees around Coruscant, that while you have spent forever loving him alone, he has made homes for himself in eighteen different bodies? What would you say if you let yourself have a night with the man you loved--more than you have ever loved anyone in your life--more than you know is proper--and then after, only after, he says that he loves you? Wouldn't you hesitate? Wouldn't you wonder if he truly loves you the way you love him?"
Sidious sits back into his chair. This is what he wanted to happen, he reminds himself. Isn't it?
Skywalker's Force signature blooms white-hot with something a lot like happiness. "I would say, I love you too," he mutters, swaying forward slightly. His eyes are fixed on Kenobi's lips. Sidious' breakfast rolls in his stomach, threatening to make a sudden reappearance.
"I love you too," Kenobi replies dutifully, and his Force signature sings with the truth of the words. "I was only afraid."
"Don't be," Skywalker murmurs, and his voice drops. His face moves forward, closing the distance between them in minuscule increments. "I don't want you to be."
"Well, if you don't want me to be," Kenobi says dryly, and Skywalker lets out a huff of laughter as if it's the funniest thing he's ever heard. "Anakin, we truly...it would be a mistake if we...."
Skywalker's arms loop around his Jedi master's back and pulls him closer, until they are standing chest to chest in Sidious' office.
Sidious is going to have to burn the entire space in order to get the impressions of love and happiness out of the Force in the room.
"We already have," Skywalker points out. "Do you think we can go back? Do you think I could last a day pretending that I'm not wholly in love with you? Do you think you could stand by and watch me bed another podracing fan as if--"
Kenobi's Force signature pivots suddenly, growing dark and prickly with his displeasure. "Stop it," he snaps. "Of course not. Of course I could never. It has been torture enough up to this point, padawan. As if podracing fans are worth your spit--"
"They have gotten quite a bit of my spit in the past," Skywalker agrees, and he practically glows in the Force when Kenobi lets out a growl and uses his hold on Skywalker's face to drag him into a kiss.
After five seconds, Sidious clears his throat.
After ten, he turns away to study the vast and uncaring city-planet of Coruscant through the windows of his office.
When Skywalker lets out a cut-off moan, Sidious reaches for the Force and uses it to topple a vase from its pedestal next to the couple. The resulting crash makes them jump apart. A few, small increments apart, yes, but Sidious will take what he can get.
"Oops," Skywalker murmurs quietly, lips curved up into a smile, as if he thinks the vase falling has been his fault. Kenobi doesn't seem to question it, giving Skywalker a small smile of his own in exchange.
"Do we call that improper use of the Force?" Kenobi asks, voice barely above a whisper. Sidious, with his Force-aided hearing, regrettably hears every word.
Skywalker groans in response, but even that is tinged in laughter. His Force signature dances in the air, twirling around and in between the fractured parts of Kenobi's.
There is no hint of any Darkness. There isn't even the ghost of sadness.
Sidious pinches his lips together. This is according to plan, he tells himself. After all, Skywalker is always happy when he enters a new relationship. There has been nothing yet that sets aside Kenobi from...from Venasse. From Fena. From Amidala.
When it ends, and this will inevitably--invariably end--Skywalker will be despondent. He will Fall. He will never know happiness again, and Sidious will be there to ensure it. He just has to survive the time in between the boy's sickening happiness and his heartbreak.
It wil not be long. After all, this is Kenobi. This is a Jedi master. This is a member of the Jedi Council. He will come to his senses soon. Or--Sidious will pressure Skywalker into pressuring Kenobi to choose. Yes, in a few weeks at most, he will raise his concerns with the boy, tell him that he just wants him to be in a relationship with someone who wants the same things out of their futur--
"Anakin," Kenobi murmurs. His hand drops from his cheek, rests instead on his chest. Over his heart. "You understand that if this is to happen--truly, genuinely happen--we must leave the Order when the war is over. We cannot stay and be in love--I cannot be a part of such a mockery of the Order and its tenets."
For a moment, Skywalker is quiet, perhaps as stunned into silence as Sidious finds himself. "You would leave the Order for me?" Skywalker whispers. He sounds awed. He sounds cowed. Reverent. Worshipful. "To be with me?"
He sounds as if he has never been further from the Dark side.
"I have not yet found a limit to what I would do for you," Kenobi admits, and his Force signature flinches slightly, sheepish. Shy.
"Obi-Wan," Skywalker breathes, and then they're kissing again.
It is so disgusting to watch that Sidious rises from behind his desk and marches out of the room, leaving them at it--unable to stomach their star-bright happiness in the Force.
He can admit, at least to himself, that this is not optimal. He had not suspected Kenobi's attachment to reach anywhere close to the deranged levels of Skywalker's, and he must regroup and reassess now that he understands the depths of his own miscalculations.
There is hope still, of course. Skywalker's love and attention burns through everyone who has ever felt it. Perhaps Kenobi can handle Skywalker as his padawan, but he has never experienced him as his partner. Kenobi will buckle under the weight of Skywalker's obsession. And then, despite their lofty promises to each other, despite their love, Skywalker will be Sidious'.
Just as planned.
It takes two months and three weeks, which is much longer than Sidious had thought. He will of course exact his revenge on Skywalker for making him wait by means of Force lightning once his empire has risen, but until then, he must act the part of enthusiastic and sympathetic grandfather.
He must not be visibly happy that Kenobi and Skywalker's relationship has failed, he reminds himself sternly as he prepares for his appointment with the Jedi. He must be sympathetic. He must counsel Anakin, he must sit through all the sordid details of his relationship with Kenobi so that he can find details to twist into knives. Skywalker must walk out of his office today convinced that he has been abused. That Kenobi has taken advantage of him. That the Jedi Council is cold and unfeeling and that the galaxy would be better off with them all dead.
It is with great anticipation that Sidious sits behind his desk, five minutes before Skywalker is set to arrive.
How did it end?
Was it in a fight so loud that the whole Temple heard? Was it during a battle? He would have been alerted if Kenobi died, but could there have been a threat on his life that caused Skywalker to snap and become overbearing? Perhaps.
The possibilities are endless. The minutes tick by slowly.
What if Skywalker's apprentice found out and Kenobi broke off their relationship out of shame? After all, Skywalker had a padawan now. Surely Kenobi would think about the parallels between his relationship with Skywalker and Skywalker's relationship with his padawan. Surely the very thought of Skywalker and his padawan in a relationship would sicken Kenobi enough to convince him to end the affair.
Two minutes to go.
What if Skywalker pressured Kenobi into leaving the Order now, in the middle of the war? Or what if Kenobi was spotted leaving Organa's chambers? They were friends, it would not be out of the ordinary, but there was already a seed of doubt planted in Skywalker's mind about Kenobi's relationship with Organa. It would not take much to fan the inferno of his jealousy. What if Kenobi--
There is a knock on his door.
"The Jedi is here to see you," Frena sneers, popping her head into his office. Her tone is flat and unimpressed.
Sidious stands to greet Skywalker. "Please, do come in," he says.
But it is not Skywalker that passes through the doorway.
It is Kenobi.
"Ah," Sidious says. "Master Kenobi, this is surely a surprise."
Kenobi has the wherewithal to look rather embarrassed, rubbing at the back of his neck as he strides to the desk to meet Sidious. "Ah, yes," he says. "I was rather...unsure if you would see me otherwise. So I made the appointment in your calendar using Anakin's comm unit."
"Of course, of course," Sidious says, aiming for genial and falling short. "What is a little breach of privacy amongst friends. Or, should I say, masters and padawans. Or should I say...lovers?"
Kenobi's throat clicks with the force of his swallow, but his eyes remain fixed on Sidious'. "This will be rather quick," he promises.
Sidious cannot say that he isn't intrigued by Kenobi's presence here. He waves him towards the seat opposite his desk and sits. "Is everything alright?" he asks, forcing a thread of worry into his voice. "I admit, it has been several weeks since I last heard from our Anakin. Should I be concerned for him?"
Kenobi's Force signature bristles at the use of the possessive pronoun--our Anakin--even as his face remains calm and placid. If it weren't for his own Force sensitivity, Sidious would never know that for a moment, Kenobi wants nothing more than to kill him. "Anakin is completely fine," Kenobi says smoothly. He crosses one leg over the other and rests his hands in his lap. "That is, actually, what I wished to talk with you about."
"Oh?" Sidious says. Was Kenobi about to overstep? Attempt to ban Anakin from seeing Sidious? That had not worked when Anakin was only a small youngling. There is little chance it would work now, what with Anakin grown into an adult and a Knight of his own. After all, who would even listen to Kenobi's concerns after Sidious revealed that Kenobi has slept with the boy? It impairs his credibility. In fact, it destroys it.
"Yes," Kenobi says firmly, and then stands as if there is too much energy in his body.
Sidious sits back in his chair and watches Kenobi's slow, casual tour around his office.
"I feel...embarrassed," Kenobi says finally, turning to look at Sidious as he comes to stop by his windows. "To come all this way, to take up a handful of minutes of your time to admit this, but I feel as though I must."
Sidious laces his fingers together and looks at Kenobi over the bridge of his knuckles. "I'm afraid I do not understand," he says carefully.
"I misjudged you," the Jedi master says, folding his hands neatly behind his back. "And for that, I am truly sorry."
Sidious opens his mouth and then closes it. Then he opens it once more. "Sorry?"
"I have spent the past decade--longer, if we're being honest--concerned and suspicious of your role in Anakin's life," Kenobi says, beginning to pace in front of the window. "But I realize now that I was wrong to be concerned. You have always had his best interests at heart, and I came here today partly to apologize for my own paranoia. It is clear to me that Anakin has flourished under your guidance and mentorship, and I must thank you, perhaps selfishly, for the attention you have shown him and the advice you have given him."
Sidious opens his mouth and then closes it once more. He has no plan in place for this. He never truly thought it likely, thought Kenobi possible of such an apology. Out of all the Jedi on Coruscant, he has often, privately, thought that Kenobi is one of their smartest. And yet the words he is saying now are completely and totally idiotic. He is apologizing? For being protective of his padawan when an outsider took an interest in him?
"Partly?" Sidious manages to say, scrounging for more time to process this turn of events. "Partly to apologize?"
"Yes," Kenobi admits. "And...well." His cheeks bloom pink and then quickly red. "To thank you."
"Thank me," Sidious repeats.
"Anakin told me that you were...rather instrumental in pushing us to go to the opera that night," Kenobi says. "And that was the point that everything sort of...boiled over. All of it. If you had not pressed him to attend, to bring me with him, I do not think we would ever have become what we are to each other now."
"Oh," Sidious says, the sound scraping along his throat and exiting his lips in the tone of a snarl. "That's lovely to hear."
"I have spent a great many years pretending that because Anakin is dear to me, he cannot also be dear to you," Kenobi says as if Sidious has given him leave to continue. As if Sidious has begged for more information. "But I realize now that he is. Dear to you, that is. And that, while obviously he means far more to me than he ever could to you--" as if it's a competition, as if Kenobi has won-- "I should still tell you that he is...happy. With me. That I make him happy. That I look after him. That I will look after him until the day I rejoin the Force. And that I am allowed to purely because you interceded on our behalf."
When Kenobi looks away from the window--and stars, he's been staring out at the Temple, Sidious is going to be sick--he smiles softly at Sidious.
"Thank you for showing us how much we can mean to each other," he says earnestly. That is the worst part, Sidious decides. Kenobi sounds earnest. "Between you and me, I do not think Anakin would ever have come to the realization on his own. He is not the best at emotional intelligence, is he?"
Sidious can do nothing but nod. Suddenly, all of his carefully curated plans of action lay in tatters around his desk, destroyed by Kenobi's earnestness. By Skywalker's obsession with his master. By Kenobi's apparent obsession with his padawan.
How had Sidious not seen it? How is Sidious caught so unawares?
Before he can think of anything to say in response, Kenobi's comm unit rings out. In a flash, Kenobi has his comm in hand, eyes roving over the missive. His Force signature rolls over itself in delight and a mix of emotions that Sidious can only assume is love. "Apologies, it's Anakin," Kenobi says, proving all of Sidious' worst fears correct. "He returned from his mission earlier than we thought."
Sidious has not received a comm message from Anakin Skywalker in roughly two months and three weeks. "Ah," he says.
"He's asked me to meet him in the Temple hangar bay," Kenobi says, and if he is trying for apologetic, then he falls painfully short. His tone is barely restrained enthusiasm, so unfitting for a Jedi master that Sidious feels rather sick to his stomach. "I...well. I should get going."
"Yes," Sidious replies automatically. "Of course, Master Kenobi. I am...heartened to hear such news from you. I am glad that you are...that your...relationship holds steady. With Anakin."
Kenobi smiles. It makes him look ten years younger. "Good evening, Chancellor Palpatine," he says, and exits his office with a bow and a flourish.
It is not a second too soon, as the moment the door closes, Sidious sends the ornate chair opposite his desk flying into the wall beside the window.
It shatters upon impact.
No one comes running.