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Soldier liked big guns and he couldn't lie the other mercs couldn't deny that when sniper walked in with an itty-bitty death rate and a long thing in a blu's face, he got feelings.
So, when the two of them found themself alone at a small lake soldier asked if him and sniper could have sex to find out if snipers dick was as long as her gun sniper said yes because she had nothing else to do that pedicular day, so she got her dick out and proceeded to make love.
Soldier got (metaphorically) sprung, he wanted sniper to put it in tough 'cause he noticed that gun was stuffed (with bullets), sniper got deep in the jeans he's wearing.
Soldier was hooked and he couldn't stop staring, oh baby, he wanna get her and take her picture.
His homeboys tried to warn him but that gun she got makes (in his own words) "Me so horny!" because soldier is one of those people who missed the point of full metal jacket.
Halfway into the sex soldier stared to flirt "Ooh, rump-o-smooth-skin you say you want to get in my benz? well, use me, use me-", sniper stopped him because and I quote "I don't want to be reminded of what I'm doing."
However, soldier responded back with "-Cause you ain't that average groupie!", which made sniper smile a bit, but soldier had seen her dancin' to hell with romancin'.
They sweat, wet, got it on like a turbo 'vette, Soldier was tired of magazines sayin' flat guns are the thing, take the average sniper main and ask him that he'll probably call you a slur in the live chat.
So, fellas (Yeah!) fellas (Yeah!) do your main girl got the gun? (Hell, yeah!) Tell 'em to shoot it, shoot it, shoot that helpful gun.
Soldier likes 'em long, and big and when he's throwin a gig he just can't help himself he's actin' like an animal now here's his scandal.
He wanna get her home and UGH, double-up, UGH, UGH.
He ain't talkin' bout the spy 'cause her silicone parts are made for toys, he wants 'em kills real thick and juicy.
So, find that juicy double (kill) soldier tf2's in trouble beggin' for a piece of that throuple (between him, sinper and medic).
So, he's lookin' at Blu videos (security tapes) knock-kneed bimbos walkin' like hoes they can have them bimbos he'll keep his woman like flo jo, a word to the sharp shooters, he wants to get with ya won't cuss or hit ya (unless you are on the blu team).
But he gotta be straight when he say he wanna :insert moan here: 'til the break of dawn, baby got it goin' on.
A lot of spy sims won't like this fic 'cause them punks like to hit (back stab) it (sniper) and quit it and he'd rather stay and play.
'cause soldiers rocket launcher was long and strong and is down to get the friction on, so, ladies (Yeah!) ladies (Yeah!) if you wanna roll in a soldier main's Mercedes then turn around, stick your gun out.
Even the white boy that was soldier had to shout, well not baby got back because sniper had 0% ass, but he did say "mother fucking shit go deeper."
Yeah, baby, when it comes to partners most used merc got nothin' to do his selection, the scout? ha-ha, only if he has the crop top cosmetic.
So, your girlfriend rolls a kill streak, playin'/workin out the Jeremy but Jeremy ain't got a motor in the back of his main weapon.
Soldier's anaconda don't want none unless she's got guns, hun (the inevitable "anaconda by Nicki Minaj" based sequel to this is going to be horrifying/j) she can use a bow or arrow, but lease don't lose that gun, some mercs that hard role and tell you that the gun ain't gold, so they toss it and leave it and she pull u quick to retrieve it.
So, Scout mains say your bots well he ain't down with that cause your death rate is small and your streak is kickin (every one's ass) and he's thinkin about stickin.
To the beanpole dames in the blu teams you aint it misses things give him a sista (of the red team), he can't resist her, red bombs and the streaks didn't miss ya.
Some knucklehead tried to diss cause his girls on soldier's streak list, he had the game, but he chose to not hit 'em so sniper pull up quick to go kill 'em, so sniper, if your gun is long and you want a triple x throwdown dial 1-900-soldiertf2 and kick them nasty thoughts.
The night ended with sniper and soldier in the same bed, because sniper got soldier's back.