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Fistfight (it's really more of a beating. fists are still involved, though)

Summary:

"Let me at him," Gale growled.

"Not yet," Krish said. "We need to wait for the signal."

"Fuck the signal-"

Star interrupted, angling the rectangle at the four of them. "Alright. Go crazy."

AKA

my friends beat up dumbledore, the fic.

Notes:

this spawned last night when I asked my friends if they'd beat up Dumbledore. Gale said "oh, 100%." Krish said "oh, DEFINITLEY." Scott said something along the lines of kicking his balls and cutting his beard. So i took a few minutes, wrote this, and sent it in the discord server. And then Gale said I should post it, so! here I am!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Dumbledore gazed over the top of his glasses at the four visitors.

Gale was practically vibrating, only Krish holding him back from doing Merlin knows what. The youngest, Scott, had a feral grin on his face.

The other one, Star, was a little ways back from the other and holding a black rectangle in her hands. Dumbledore idly wondered what she was doing with it.

"Let me at him," Gale growled.

"Not yet," Krish said. "We need to wait for the signal."

"Fuck the signal-"

Star interrupted, angling the rectangle at the four of them. "Alright. Go crazy."

Gale grinned sharply, and rushed at Dumbledore, who tried to move, but discovered Scott pointing his own wand at him.

"Surprise, bitch," they said. "Gale, do your shit. I wanna cut his beard."

Gale whooped and drove their fist into Dumbledore's stomach. He coughed, but he couldn't even move his mouth to speak He tried to speak to Krish with his eyes, but she only stepped beside Gale - who was still punching him, and looked over him with a considering gaze.

Then she punched him in the face.

Dumbledore felt his glasses break, and glared at the children. Star was still behind them, still holding the mysterious rectangle. The glass dug into Dumbledore's face. Gale paused for a moment, considering. Then he dropkicked Dumbledore in the balls. Scott stepped beside him and also kicked him in the groin. Dumbledore let out a moan. It hurt, okay, he didn't think getting beat up by a bunch of muggles would hurt this much!

Eventually, finally, Gale stepped back. Every inch of Dumbledore ached (especially his crotch). But it wasn't over yet.

Scott stepped forward with a pair of scissors, and dove into his beard, snipping and snipping and snipping. Dumbledore started crying. He had been growing that beard for over a century.

Finally they were done. Gale turned to Star and slung an arm around her neck.

"All good?" he asked.

Star nodded, grinning. She waved the rectangle in the air. "Got it," they answered. "God, I can't wait to show the others."

"Needy," Gale teased, poking ger shoulder. Star gave a mild glare.

"Bitch."

"Aw, Starshine!" Gale put his hand over his heart. "I love you too!"

"Fuck off."

"Never. :)."

Krish shuddered. "You have got to teach me how to do that," she said, pecking Gale's cheek.

Gale patted her hand.

Scott stomped his foot impatiently. "Let's go, he said irritably.

"Scott's right," Krish said. "It's about time we left.*

And just as suddenly as they appeared, they were gone.

Notes:

hi i love my friends loads

(does this count as an anniversary fic)