Chapter Text
TW: This chapter contains a parent threatening to hit their own child and hints of a characters past childhood abuse.
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February 3rd 2003
Noelle woke up groggily on the Monday morning, stretching her limbs and cracking her joints in the light of the just rising sun.
Her bedside clock read 06:30am. She didn't really need to be up for another half an hour, and she felt the soft tendrils of sleep beginning to draw her back again almost immediately before-
"NOELLE! DON'T FALL ASLEEP AGAIN!"
She huffed at her mother's usual brashness.
Noelle looked out at the window as she cracked her neck. A cloudless sky greeted her, slight condensation dripping down the window from the early morning chill. Tiring of the already brief California winter, Noelle smiled at seeing the tree in the neighbours garden starting to shoot new leaves. For once, she was looking forward to spring break now she had people to spend it with.
After flinging the duvet off and changing into the clothes she left beside her bed the night before, she attended to her morning ablutions.
Noelle brushed her hair thoroughly, snagging on the many knots that seemed to never get out properly despite how often she went through them. As she separated her hair for braiding, the memory of her mother standing over her in the bathroom mirror teaching her how to came back to her. ^1
Split it into three strands, then just put the right into the middle, left into the middle, right into the middle, left into the middle... ^2
Her mother was only been nice to her when she was teaching her to look presentable; or when they were amongst other people, though that had never been a common occurence. The last time was their parent-teacher conference before the Christmas break where she had ended up crying herself to sleep, without dinner, after her mother found she had got a B on a maths test. Of course, she had waited until they were in the car before starting to yell.
She caught herself tugging too tight on her braid as she got too distracted in the memory. She sighed and tied it at the bottom before leaving the bathroom.
Plodding downstairs, struck by some vague bolt of rebellion in her tired state, Noelle didn't care to tread delicately as she was so often berated for.
"Ah, Noelle, you're up early!"
That surprised her. Her father was a rare sight in the mornings, as he left before she regularly awoke for school. He had spoke out from the kitchen, wherein he was leaning against a counter with a bowl in his hand, looking dejected.
"That I am. What's that?"
"Ah. This." He said disdainfully. "It's some European thing called Museli. My doctor, or, more accurately, your mother, told me I need to increase my fiber intake. It better be worth it. Tastes like cardboard."
Giggling with him, she gave him a small hug. He returned the favour.
"Hey, since we've got plenty of time, how about I make you something good for breakfast?"
"Are you sure? Mom normally says I shouldn't have food in the morning."
"Well- and don't tell her I said this- but she's wrong. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day! That's what they say here in America at least."
"Ms. Evans does say that a lot..."
Nodding sagely, he pulled out some rice, carrots, spring onions and ginger from the cupboard. Noelle recognised the ingredients for her dad's "world famous", as (only) he liked to call it, congee. ^3
"Well, then it can't be wrong. Teachers are very smart."
"Min says she eats nails for breakfast though. That can't be good for her. Without any milk either." ^4
He laughed again at that.
"This Min girl sounds pretty hardcore. How long have you known her?"
"A few weeks."
"Do you think she could come round? I haven't met any of your school friends yet."
"Maybe. Her parents are really strict."
"Well, I'm sure we can figure something out. How about you ask her what she thinks at school today and we'll go from there?"
"Sounds sensible."
"What can I say, I'm a very sensible man. Do you want to chop this carrot?"
"Sure!"
Noelle grabbed their small blue stepstool, technically there to reach lightbulbs in need of changing, but almost exclusively used for her to look up at the countertops. She dexterously used the cleaver to chop the carrot into brunoise cubes.
"Woah! When did you learn you to do that so fast‽"
Even without realising, her time with Min had changed her. Noelle had spent a few hours at that point handling the butterfly knife, earning a few small grazes here and there in her attempts to impress her. Cuts were no longer particularly frightening to her, blood being a regular sight with Min.
"You just have to not be so afraid of the knife."
A concerned expression flashed across her father's face at that.
"You know Noelle, I think there's a good reason people are afraid of knives. They're very sharp, remember?" He gently put the tip of his finger to the cleaver, exaggeratedly pulling it back and yelling like a Tom & Jerry cartoon to prove his point while also making her giggle. Despite his supposedly serious message, he couldn't fully disguise his smile from joking with his daughter.
"Well, this one isn't that sharp. One time Mi-...some random kid I saw managed to cut through a table edge with a pocket knife they had."
"Whoever they are seem scary."
"They sort of are. They're actually kind of nice though. I was frightened a bit at first, but when you get to know people they seem a lot less intimidating."
"That's certainly very true. We just need to let this simmer for a bit now, okay? How about you sit at the table and get a start on some homework you have?"
"Dad, it's Monday. I did my homework on Friday when it was set."
"Of course you did. Do some reading then. What're you on now?"
"Great expectations. Dickens."
He looked completely blank.
"Well, that sounds fun. Congee should be done in 45 minutes or so. I can drive you down, don't worry about being late."
Sitting down at the table, Noelle absently mindedly opened up her book. She read through chapter 11, only looking up when her father dropped a steaming bowl of congee next to her. She chuckled slightly to herself while reading, both at the slight over the top-ness of the fight scene, and how it reminded her of Min. ^5
After finishing the chapter, she put the book into her bag and started to eat her breakfast. Warm and soothing on the cool winters morning, she felt nourished and fulfilled by the bowl of congee (her father insisted it was the 'added love') and scraped it clean before sighing blissfully.
"Hey, Noelle! Are you ready to go?"
"Yes, just let me clean this up."
"Oh, you don't need to worry about that. I'll wash it when I get back. Now, put your shoes on and get in the car, okay?"
She nodded in confirmation while digging her shoes out from the pile by the front door. They drove mostly without conversation, the only accompanying noise in the car being music by Jay Chou from the CD player and her father tapping on the steering wheel. They soon reached the school.
He kissed her head and led her out of the door.
"Stay safe, have fun, learn cool stuff, okay Noelle?"
"Yes, Dad."
Walking through the gates, she eagerly looked around to find Min.
The playground was occupied by the three typical groups: the "jocks"- the sporty ones she heard had laughed when Mins skirt rode up playing baseball (she had then promptly cut a few); the popular girls- mercilessly teasing, they had yanked Noelle's braid a few times, and attempted to ridicule Mins short hair the first day it was cut before she ran up to them, knife blazing; and then the others. They would keep to themselves, normally in their own small groups, just hanging out most of the time.
Usually, Noelle and her gang would be included with them. Should it be deserted, the wooden structure was their usual spot.
She spotted Diya and Hayden underneath the slide, silently and absentmindedly pushing around the bark chip mulch.
No Min.
This would typically be not much of a worry. In the two weeks Noelle had known her, Min had been off school on three separate occasions.
But there was also no Jun.
Even before she had met him, Jun had never been known to miss school. Despite undergoing colds, cuts, coughs, and a small cancer scare, he had maintained his perfect 100% attendance. His absence niggled away at Noelle's brain.
The braided girl weaved her way through the playground, careful to give the popular ones a wide berth. She had fallen victim to their teasings several times, despite Ms. Evans' orders to them to leave her alone.
It seemed oddly hushed that day, the normal buzz of conversation turned down to a vaguely offsettlling ambience. Noelle could hear her formal shoes strike the concrete with every step towards her friends.
She felt eyes on her, quick mindless glances from distracted people somehow feeling lingering and drawn out to her despite their shortness. Shadows looked stretched out as her peers appeared to loom over her, casting her in their darkness. The sky had clouded over in the brief time since her arrival. A pale, monotonous block of grey hung over her, the typically outrageously bright California sun blocked out entirely. ^6
Diya and Hayden looked up at her as she approached. Neither were talking, nothing was interrupted.
She nodded at them, her typical wordless greeting.
When neither cared to respond, she asked "What's going on?"
Hayden sighed slightly. Glancing up at the slide above him, he looked at the various engravings and doodles Min had left there.
"Nothing much. It's weird, y'know? We knew they were going to leave, but it still feels super wrong without them."
Noelle was unsurprisingly confused.
"Who, exactly?"
It was the others turn to be confused now. Their eyebrows were pointed, and they glanced at each other as if to commune without words.
"You didn't know?"
"Didn't know what?"
"About Min. And Jun."
"Nothing particular, no. Why, what's happening?"
The other two shared their hidden look again, confirming that they had heard her right.
Diya was the one to speak up for once. In the eerily quiet morning, the sound of her unused voice only worked to offset the mood more.
"they've gone" ^7
"...Gone?"
She only nodded.
"Gone...where? Did Min get kicked out? I wouldn't be surprised, but...why Jun? Surely he wouldn't be that stubborn of a sibling to follow her to a different school?"
Hayden looked down at the ground and sheepishly scratched the back of his neck.
"Noelle, you don't get it. They've gone gone."
Looking up again briefly, he met her eyes,
"What does that mean?"
"They've left. To Florida. I would've reckoned she'd have told you at this point. When was the last time you saw her?"
"Just yesterday. But...why wouldn't she tell me?"
Hayden merely shrugged and looked back down at the ground.
Diya spoke up in her strangely singsong, quiet tone.
min is weird. especially about you. she told me about 3 months ago. i asked why she hadn't told you yet i think...last week? and she said she didn't want you 'whining and moping' about it. biggest words id heard her say in...ever I guess. so you've just changed her a bit in the very least.
For the first time in her life, Noelle felt odd pinpricks at the side of her eyes and a stinging sensation came over them. Soon she felt herself dragged down and enveloped in Diyas oddly comforting cold grip.
its okay. she said she'll be back. trust her.
"Oh, when has she ever told the truth? We'll probably never see her again, and she'll end up dying alone in a horrific knife fight 3000 miles away and-"
calm down. breathe. i could tell she wasnt lying. you will see her again. we can both promise you that.
"Are you sure?"
yes. pinky promise?
Noelle sniffled and wiped at her slowly drying eyes, comforted by Diya's words. She never got the meaning behind the interlocking of ones fingers to mean trust, but she decided to go along with it.
are you okay now?
"I...yes. I'll manage, at the very least."
Soon the bell interrupted their embrace, and Diya pulled Noelle up to get to homeroom. Wiping the final lingering tears from her eyes, they walked off together, arm in arm.
Ms. Evans noticed the two were unusually close that day. For once, Diya did all the talking on her behalf, her arm constantly hovering near the others shoulder. While Noelle's lack of input was greatly noticeable, she tried her best to drag out answers from the other apathetic students used to relying on her to carry them through the lesson.
Come recess, she timidly approached her at her desk.
"Ms. Evans?" She started, looking down and twiddling her thumbs.
"Yes sweetie?"
"Can I sit in here to read again?"
Knitting her brow in concern, she leant forward onto her desk.
"It's been a while since you've done that. Is everything okay?" She asked.
"Um...yeah. I'm just...tired today."
Despite not even Noelle seeming convinced by herself, she relented.
The young girl shuffled over to the neglected reading nook, curling into herself and facing the wall.
Not a single page was turned.
The one time Ms. Evans glanced at her over her lesson planning, all she saw was Noelle slowly rocking herself, head in her hands, trying to contain her sobs.
She could only watch in astonishment as the typically reserved girl broke down thinking no one could see her.
Racking her brain for reasons why she could break down, it clicked.
Min-Seo.
Of course.
The two had been attached at the hip since they had met, and despite being tentative about letting the two be close to each other, Ms. Evans just wanted to see Noelle happy.
Several weeks earlier, she had overheard Min's parents threatening to "Take her to Florida earlier if she didn't shut up" while dropping her off in the morning.
Later that day, she had been sent an email detailing their decision to pull out of the school and travel across the country, but she thought Min would have told her best friend that before leaving.
Given her reaction, so had Noelle.
As soon as the bell rang again, she gathered herself astonishingly quickly, appearing oddly practised in the rhythms of composing oneself.
Diya bounded in almost instantly, rushing towards her and offering a piece of her granola bar. While she couldn't tell exactly what she said, Ms. Evans guessed she declined it politely as the two went to their desks.
Keeping an eye on her throughout the day, she seemed to improve, even answering a few questions.
She waved Noelle off to her mother after the day ended.
All she saw was her morosely climbing in the cars backseat before they sped off.
In the car, she began to prepare her typical list of responses to her mother's usual questions.
"How was your day?"
"...Fine."
"What did you learn?"
"Nothing I don't know already."
"Really? What topic are you on?"
"Well, today we did column addition in maths."
Her mother nodded satisfactorily.
"Hmm. You're lying."
"Pardon‽" Noelle exclaimed incredulously.
"You told me you did that 3 weeks ago. Something is obviously distracting you from your schoolwork. We will talk about this when we get home."
Noelle crossed her arms and stared moodily out the window. Despite never being one for sulking, if any time was more appropriate for it than then, she wouldn't have liked to experience it.
The car ride seemed to fly by. Typically they stretched on for what felt like hours in uncomfortable silence, but with the looming threat of punishment over her, Noelle thanked whatever force there was for helping her get it over with.
Her mother frostily opened the door, gesturing her into the dining room and walking off to gather her dad from his study. ^8
"Lǎogōng, get up. We need to talk to Noelle about her poor schooling."
"Poor? Her report card was excellent last semester. Ms. Evans loves her as well."
"Who?"
"You know, Ms. Evans? Her teacher?"
"Ah, yes, of course. Anyway, she is unimportant-"
"Not...really, apparently she's very encouraging-"
"Just come with me."
Sighing, he gathered himself from his desk hurriedly as wife rushed downstairs again.
They found Noelle absentmindedly picking at the tablecloth of the dining table. A stern look sent her way quickly put a stop to that.
"Sit up straight."
Noelle only glanced at her before turning away towards the window.
Furiously, her mother reared her hand up, prepared to bring it down to stop the supposed impertinence before-
"HUI-CHIN!"
Another hand suddenly grabbed around her wrist. Confused, she whipped around to face her husband. His typically soft face was now held firm in his determination as he slowly brought her hand down. He sighed.
"Hui-chin, you promised me you wouldn't hit her." He said, hurt. He was turned towards her and spoke in quiet but sharp Mandarin, careful to not alert Noelle any more than she was. "She could have done a lot worse than look away from you. In no world does this warrant such a reaction. You know how I feel about this."
"Kuan-lin, you saw her, that was incredibly ru-" ^9
"No. You know what I went through. I will not have it happen to my daughter either."
Quietly seething, Hui-chin conceded his point.
"You talk to her then. She hates me apparently."
She stormed off, leaving her husband alone with Noelle in the dining room.
She spoke up in a rather meek voice, barely permeating the thick silence that hung about them.
"I'm sorry I caused trouble."
"Noelle, that wasn't your fault. Your mother is very stressed with...something or other. Lord knows she doesn't tell me."
"Doesn't not saying things just make them worse?"
"That's what I try and tell her." He sat down opposite her. "I suppose I should probably actually talk to you about school now. Personally, I think she's just overreacting, but I don't know, so feel free to tell me. I won't say anything to her you don't want me to."
She turned away from the window now, making a rare point of eye contact.
"Really?"
"Well, of course. I know how your mother gets at times. Talk to me if anything's going on and I'll sort it. She'll only hear what she needs to."
She leant forward, putting her elbows onto the table.
"Can you absolutely promise me?"
Her father looked slightly confused.
"Was that...not what I just said?"
"Not exactly."
She leant her arm up, offering her smallest finger.
"Pinky promise?"
"Pardon?"
"I don't really get it either, but the interlocking of pinkies is apparently some sort of sacred promise. It's taken very seriously for some odd reason."
"Is this some sort of strange American practise?"
"Probably. But, as I said, it is very important. You promised, and I would like you to prove it."
Despite still not really understanding it, Noelle's father brought their pinkies together.
"Does this mean you'll talk to me now?"
"Yes."
"Well, just tell me what you feel happy with, okay?"
Noele smiled for the the first time since the car ride.
"Thanks dad."
"Its what I'm here for. Now, what's going on?"
"It's...kind of a long story."
"We've got time. Your mother'll probably be in a strop for a day or two. Just go on, I'll start cooking when you're done."
"Okay, so, it all started a few weeks ago. I met that one girl, Min."
"Is she the...
He made a gesture of stabbing, making high pitch noises in the style of a horror film score. ^10
Noelle nodded and giggled as she replied.
"She always had those. All her intelligence probably went into hiding them. One time she somehow managed to fit two in each shoe."
Her father started sniggering at the anecdote before he faltered at the wording of it;
"Why do you say 'had'? Has something happened to her?"
Noelle grew serious as well after he pointed it out.
"...Yes. That's what's been going on."
"Okay. Do you want to tell me anymore about it or are you fine just telling me that?"
"It would probably help both of us if I gave a bit more context. Min was acting weird on the last day I saw her, but I didn't question it because the day had been so fun."
"What did you do? Finger painting, maybe even skateboarding?"
"Well, she does skate. But that day we did something I probably shouldn't tell you about."
"If you don't want to that's fine by me. Do remember I'm here if you're in trouble though. Anyway, I shouldn't have interrupted, sorry."
"It's fine dad, don't worry. So yeah, she was weird and I showed up this morning and I couldn't find her. I asked around, and apparently she just...left."
"Left? How do you mean?"
"She's moved to Florida, of all places."
"And she just didn't tell you?"
"No."
Her father breathed out slowly and crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair.
"That's quite a lot for you to deal with in one day."
Noelle mirrored his actions, turning back towards the window. Some rare clouds had obscured the sun momentarily before they moved on again.
"I think I know why though."
"What reason would she have to completely ignore you like that?"
"Diya said she never told me because she didn't want me to be sad before she left."
He raised one side of his mouth in contemplation.
"I...don't know about that one. I still think she should've told you."
"Well, what's done is done. She said she'll be back as well, so I can get angry at her then."
He chuckled.
"That's the spirit. Anything else going on?"
"No, that's it. What's for dinner?"
"Ah! Priorities. I'll look around and see what I can throw together."
"Thanks Dad. I love you."
"I love you too, my xiǎo gōng zhǔ. ^11
The two walked off from the dining room table, holding hands into the kitchen. Noelle put on her apron and gathered her equipment, readying herself by the chopping board, knife in hand.